I actually like Alex Morgan so I’m using this for my own amusement more than making an actual point. I also haven’t made a photoshop post in a while.
Here are a few products Alex Morgan endorses.
Not a chance she eats these.
Smile looks pretty good to me already.
I wish I were the chapstick.
And a few she hasn’t.
Karate Kid 5 – Kicks For Real
Who’s the prettiest?
This is a tough one.
Ariana has cancelled her MLB All-star game show due to this video, or as she says because she is getting “oral surgery”. The story is that she asked her boyfriend “dare me”, licked some doughnuts, and then said, “I hate America” after seeing some doughnuts. If you read her statement below she “hates America” because doughnuts are unhealthy.
#1 – This shouldn’t be filmed. If people reviewed every single statement I said that I thought was private, they would have stories for days. This doesn’t mean I’m a horrible person, it just means I’ll say things that I don’t expect to ever get heard by anyone other than the person I’m talking to.
#2 – I agree with her statement that this could be taken out of context. I watched the episode of Sarcastaball yesterday and even though this isn’t sarcasm, it still doesn’t mean that she HATES America.
#3 – If she didn’t say America, this wouldn’t even be a story. She was born in Flordia. American culture made her famous. She’s ungrateful. This is a problem.
#4 – She can’t find a better looking boyfriend? He looks like he crawled out of the gutter.
Her response:
“I am EXTREMELY proud to be an American and I’ve always made it clear that I love my country. What I said in a private moment with my friend, who was buying the donuts, was taken out of context and I am sorry for not using more discretion with my choice of words. As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me and I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole. The fact that the United States has the highest child obesity rate in the world frustrates me. We need to do more to educate ourselves and our children about the dangers of overeating and the poison that we put into our bodies. We need to demand more from our food industry. However I should have known better in how I expressed myself; and with my new responsibility to others as a public figure I will strive to be better. As for why I cannot be at the MLB show, I have had emergency oral surgery and due to recovery I cannot attend the show. I hope to make it up to all those fans soon. That being said let me once again apologize if I have offended anyone with my poor choice of words.”
Full list here if you are interested.
1. Floyd Mayweather – $300m – His #1 ranking is why his nickname is money. For a guy who can’t read, he’s doing pretty well for himself. The earnings are obviously inflated because of the super fight with Pacquiao but Floyd still draws. I’d be surprised if his outrageous bets are even included in this total figure. Undefeated (48-0) and the self proclaimed best fighter ever, Floyd is worth his weight in gold.
2. Manny Pacquiao – $160m – Elected to the Congress of the Philippines, Manny is an ambassador to a country as well as an over the hill boxer. He fell in to Floyd’s strategy perfectly which was to prolong the fight until Manny didn’t have that pop in his punch. Either way I’m sure both fighters are happy and can live their lives with financial securtiy. Manny will put his to good use while Floyd makes it rain at strip clubs.
3. Katy Perry – $135m – I’m a big Katy fan because I enjoy her total package. Not only does she carry a slamming body but her message is positive through her songs. With millions of Katycats around the world, she has plenty of support. It’s been since 2013 since her last album but I suppose that’s because she’s so busy touring and earning that loot.
4. One Direction – 130m – I have no idea where to begin with this one. Zane left the band? Harry is back with Taylor Swift? Justin just broke up with Britney? The only member of One Direction I’ve even heard of is Harry Styles and the only song I know is Story of My Life. This band is playing to a demographic that I am out of touch with and I’m ok with that. Goes to show that boy bands will never die.
5. Howard Stern – $95m – I listen to Howard as often as I can because his show has developed into the best show on radio. He’s finally shed the “shock jock” persona and is now being regarded as a world class interviewer. His America’s Got Talent contract is also boosting this total and likened his appeal as a regular guy.
6. Garth Brooks – $90m – I’VE GOT FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES!!!! It’s the only anything I know about Garth Brooks. Apparently he’s sold over 68 million albums which is a pretty big number and continues to land you on a list of the 10 wealthiest celebs. I don’t think all people like country but the one’s who do REALLY love country. I hate when I’m at a place that is blasting country and I’m the only idiot who doesn’t know the words. Totally feel out of place.
7. James Patterson – $89m – The man behind Alex Cross. I’ve read a few Patterson books and never come away feeling fulfilled. They are quick reads that he cranks out in his sleep. After I read a book called Toys, I never read another one. Being an author is all about name recognition which happens when you get notoriety for a particular book. Then you build off of that success. He’s written 95 books. That’s a shit ton. Not everyone will be a winner but more books = more sales.
8. Robert Downey – $80m – He wasn’t always Iron Man considering this line to judge after a hearing for drug use, “It’s like I’ve got a shotgun in my mouth with my finger on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gun metal.” Downey’s career started young with being a secondary member of the John Hughes “Brat Pack”. In 2004, Downey got sober and in 2008 his career made a huge resurgence with Tropic Thunder and Iron Man. He hasn’t looked back and charts the list as 2015’s highest paid actor.
9. Taylor Swift – $80m – T Swift is hot as can be right now. Her feud with Katy Perry has established “Bad Blood” and now the world watches her every move. Her concerts are insta-sell outs and her performances are top notch. Her transition from country to pop was seamless and her fans didn’t even complain that much. The world is now shaking it off and Taylor is a global phenomenon.
10. Cristiano Ronaldo – $79.5m – Soccer is a global sport and Ronaldo is the top player. Often compared with Messi (#13) as the game’s best, his 45 goals were 2 more this season (La Liga) to take the crown as scoring champ. I’ve only recently started watching soccer and it’s clear that he is an unbelievable talent and earns every bit of his contract. Plus he is ridiculously good looking which makes all the ladies swoon.
Seth MacFarlane did an interview on the Howard Stern show today that is worth listening to. Howard has become the premier interviewer on the planet and his guest list continues to improve year after year with A-listers. Seth Macfarlane was in town promoting Ted 2 and by doing this interview hits millions of people who share similar comedic tastes.
Seth is so smart that whatever comes out of his mouth is gold and the best part is that he knows this but doesn’t act like he does. He is a prodigy. At the age of 2 he drew this picture of Fred Flintstone.
Age 9 he created this comic strip called Walter Crouton and Friends.
I’m not sure I knew my name at 2. At 7, I cried in art class because I couldn’t cut construction paper into the shape of a heart. Seth MacFarlane is getting paid by his local paper at the age of 9 to contribute a comic strip. Sheesh.
The interview was fairly tame but I think that’s because Howard respects Seth so much. A few spots I enjoyed:
I thought Ted was average at best and A Million Ways to Die was even worse than that. HOWEVER, early Family Guy is the funniest show with the best jokes and runs circles against any almost all other comedies . He was the entire show back in 1999 and there is a dramatic difference between those episodes and what the show has become. Whatever Seth puts his mind to comes out as excellence because he’s ahead of the curve with regard to intelligence and humor. Plus he seems like a genuinely nice guy.
I saw a blogger on BarStool showing these pictures and figured I’d show my 7 person audience as well. This dude is ready to blow up.
I’m not a very respected blogger so it seems fitting that I use this post to show a lack of respect to women’s soccer and instead of writing about their 3-1 victory over Australia Monday evening, I point out who the best looking players are. I watched the 2nd half and 4 of the 5 girls I mention played and the other one I’m just assuming is on the team because I looked at a website. I’m also pretty sure that Megan Rapinoe and Abby Wambach get it on.
5. Tobin Heath
27 years old and “perhaps the USA’s most skillful player.” Has that girl next door look and obviously quite a talent. I’ve never heard of her before so I can’t write much except she both looks good and plays well.
4. Amy Rodriguez
The female A-rod. She’s 28, has a baby, and is a devout Christian. I’m not seeing that she gets a lot of playing time but she’s a beauty nonetheless.
3. Hope Solo
Hope Solo is crazy. An entire blog post could be dedicated to her lunatic ways. Recently, all charges were dropped against her after she attacked her sister’s 17 year old (who apparently is 6-8), who then hit her over the head with a broomsick, and then she was taken away in handcuffs by police all while being plastered. Either way she’s pretty hot and the obvious face of the team as the goalie. Plus who can forget the Hope Solo scary vagina pics from the Fappening. Do not let your curiosity get the better of you on this one. Trust me. She’s also one of the best goaltenders in the world which is why she gets away with being crazy.
2. Alex Morgan
I knew Alex Morgan was attractive but I wasn’t really sure what she did. It turns out she doesn’t even start for the national team and got in with 10 minutes left in a 3-1 game. Either way she is a beautiful woman who is good enough to play on the team. What a babe.
1. Julie Johnston
Alex Morgan is the obvious #1 but that’s too easy. If Julie Johnston is caught at the right angles, she’s a dime. Up close and from the front is not her best look. From afar and on the field, she’s top notch. She’s only 23 and the sweeper for the team. What do you think of her?
Tell me she doesn’t stand out like sore thumb.
Dave Letterman on the Rolling Stone cover 2015
David Letterman is on the cover of the Rolling Stone this month and apparently it’s a big deal he’s retiring. He’s on this show called “The Late Show” with David Letterman at 11:35 on CBS. He interviews famous people and has this top 10 list which makes people laugh. Apparently it’s pretty popular since it’s been on the air for 33 years. News to me.
Dave Letterman on Rolling Stone Cover 1982
In 1982, the Rolling Stone article titled “David Letterman: Resurrection After Midnight” examined if Late Night TV “will survive into the twenty-first century or will be replaced by video games.” This new host “David Letterman” was taking over and no one knew what to expect after Johnny Carson. Who was Dave?
“I never had a whole lot of friends, but I was in the group of people that was always making fun of everybody else. You know, we weren’t in the honor society, so we made fun of the honor society. And yet we weren’t the guys stealing cars, so we made fun of the guys stealing cars. We couldn’t do much. My grades weren’t good, and the guys I hung out with, their grades weren’t really good. And we couldn’t go out with the really good-looking girls. We would egg their houses. We’d find the best-looking girl and without ever even asking her out – we’d just assume she wouldn’t go out – we’d just go egg her house on theory, you know, just, hell, ‘Screw you, I know you’re not gonna go out with me, so we’ll egg your house.'”
Another quip:
“I think if you have any sense, you’ll adopt the view of life,” he says matter-of-factly, “that if the bucket of shit can explode, it will explode.”
This is how the author of the article, Lewis Grossberger, concludes:
Letterman seems to have the right instincts and equipment for interviewing. He’s smart. He listens – an amazingly rare talent – and can ask pertinent questions. Or he can go for laughs. He has good moves: wit, whimsy, charm, sarcasm. His insult whip snaps the air; it doesn’t cut flesh. He wears well. He has high growth potential.
David Letterman and Jay Leno
“If you look around at the other people doing it and look at me, it’s almost like a pair of shoes you haven’t worn in a hundred years,” he says. “‘Gee, I think we can probably get rid of these.’ I still enjoy what I’m doing. But I think what I’m doing is not what you want at 11:30 anymore.”
He says the lack of YouTube-ability is “a weakness of our show. I hear about things going viral, and I think, ‘How do you do that?’ I think I’m the blockage in the plumbing.”
He’s 68 years old and understands his time is through. I’m sure critics would say he was passed his time a decade ago. His ratings are losing to Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel is right up his rear. To do a job in the national eye for 33 years is worth applauding even if the opinion is he just isn’t that funny anymore.
I hardly watched Dave so you may be asking why I’m even writing about him. This is a good question. I have a good answer. I read how he is spending his time and I envy it. I want to spend my life the way he is spending his.
“Where Dave’s ranch is (Montana) has some of the most incredible wildlife in America.” Hanna says. “Grizzlies, black bears, mountain lions, elk, moose, wolverines. It’s like going back in time. Those plains have not changed in 500 years.”
“In the summer, it doesn’t really get dark until 11, maybe midnight,” Letterman says. “so you stay up as late as you can, and then finally, about 11:45, when it’s just crepuscular, you wait for that last line of light to duck down behind the mountains. It’s beautiful – the Milky Way is so bright that it actually washes out the stars. I always sleep with my glasses on, so that when I wake up in the middle of the night – which, at my age, is every 18 minutes – I’ll be able to see satellites and planets and constellations and shooting stars. It’s remarkable.”
cre·pus·cu·lar
adjective
of, resembling, or relating to twilight
I’m actually curious if my audience likes a post like this. I obviously took most of it from the Rolling Stone article but since they write better than me, I’d expect it should be good material. Plagiarism sure, but good material.
When I first saw these commercials I initially was thinking that this girl is a kind of cute, nerdish girl, who’s moderately funny. As I’ve seen 4 or 5 of them, I’m fairly certain she’s a 10, a fucking 10. With 30,000 Facebook likes and 65k Twitter followers, she’s a breakout star.
I’m not even sure who Lily Adams is but that’s her name on the commercials. From that screen shot, she’s underwhelming. I don’t even think the commercials are that good.
Someone’s caption on a below pic was, “I’d ear her shit”. That should give you an idea of how other’s in society feel about her.
And she may be single…
When’s a good time to text my roommate to come home from his date and watch tv with me, so we can both be not getting laid together?
— Milana Vayntrub (@MintMilana) October 10, 2014
These Bill Cosby allegations from the 1970’s are at a bottom of the barrel interest level for me. New people are coming forward who are 50 years old that they were raped by Bill when they were 15. I’m obviously the only one who finds this boring because it is all over the media. I’m not trying to come off as an insensitive prick here but the time to come forward was 30 years ago.
Judy Huth and Gloria Allred
Here’s Judy Huth with the super-feminist lawyer Gloria Allred who claims Bill attacked her in 1975. Police are searching the Playboy mansion for clues! Oh look, I think I see a Cosby stain from 39 years ago under this 2011 rug. Gloria Allred is just as bad because she see this as dollar signs. It’s also worth noting that 3 other bunnies from 3 decades ago are coming forward.
The dude is 77 years old. I have no doubt he did wrong to many women over the years. He’s guilty. However I do have to wonder why we are spending millions of dollars trying to what? Put him behind bars? Extort him for all the money in his bank account before he dies? Neither of these options seem to make sense to me for acts he committed 40 years ago. It’s like making an error for drinking and driving and having people come forward saying that they know you did it and you should be in jail.
I don’t feel bad for Bill because I believe he abused women and treated them like sex toys for many years. However, I do not understand all the hoopla surrounding it happened many years past. There should be statute of limitations and we should call it a day. Take 10% of his net worth as a fine and use it to investigate the matter as much as you want and divy it up as some higher authority feels right.
Gaga on the Howard Stern show on Dec 2nd.
I was listening to Howard Stern interview Lady Gaga. I only caught about 15 minutes of the segment and I heard about an instance of her life when she was taken advantage of at the age of 19. Her record producer “raped” her. You can listen on this link about Lady Gaga being raped at 19. Unfortunately this post will not delve into this further because I have little to nothing to say about this. Full interview here.
“I believe she’s speaking about Rob Fusari when it comes to the “dating” and rape situation. He told people they were dating when in fact, he was her record producer who raped her. “
I do have something to say about Lady Gaga revealing to Howard an event about her life so personal. He must be the best interviewer in the world to get her to confide in him (and his entire listening audience) a moment of her life that probably still haunts her to this day. My thought was that there must be other people on the planet who can do Howard’s job. All it entails is asking people questions and having them answer them. Yet I am certain that if I interviewed Gaga it would go something like this:
T: I really liked the song Just Dance when it came out.
LG: That was probably the most pop, least inspired song I’ve ever written…
T: Oh………………………….
I’d poke her face.
A few weeks ago Howard let one of his staff, Benjy, interview his wife and it was atrocious. The feel of the interview was choppy and the questions asked had me feeling bad for both parties involved. This got me thinking that Howard is probably the absolute best in the entire business. He has done thousands of interviews and has so much experience that only he can get people to share information that they probably never thought they’d be sharing to millions of people. It’s a tremendous talent.
An another amazing talent of Lady Gaga is her voice. She believes auto tune is cheating and she is honest to god singing. Her singing is next level. It’s unbelievable. I was blown away by her voice. As wacky as she is, I’m a fan.