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5 Dec, 2016

When Bad Things Happen To Good People

By | December 5th, 2016|My Life|1 Comment

I knew today was going to be bad because when I tried to throw a 2″ paper receipt into a trash can whose width was 36″, I missed.



Yesterday was a big day with Fantasy Football playoffs getting set and obviously this title is foreshadowing the results. It appears as Sam and I will be missing the playoffs after having the #1 and #2 most points scored in the league. We needed Bud to lose for one of us to get in. Jerry played the LA Rams against the Patriots as his defense and shot us both in the dicks. I intend to complain to the league commissioner for his termination from the league. Of course it is possible that Forte, Hilton, and Vinatieri get less than 20 pts, but not likely. I would also need Luck and Marshall to combine for less than 24.42 points, which is also unlikely, but this would finish me ahead of Sam in points. When you see that the people in the first 4 spots all have points scored against them in the 1,100’s, and Sam and I are approaching 1,400, you know you got the short end of the stick.

Complaining aside, my management skills cannot be put in question for another year. In other news, I did manage to make the playoffs in both my other leagues so that helps the burn. Technically if Frank Gore goes for less than 3.8 pts AND Luck and Enunwa go for less than 17.8, it is possible I don’t get in one league. Unfortunately neither team is nearly as strong as the Wild Turkeys.

Stortz Poconos

I posted a picture of us in the Pocono’s for the weekend which I thought was a fun weekend. The life is slower in the mountains but we still made it as entertaining as possible. Friday was a relaxing night. Then Saturday we Jubiliee’d and I went on a 6 or 7 mile run in the frigid weather. Sam and JC arrived and we went bowling. If you aren’t following Sam’s snaps, you must have missed the JC pump fake but that’s your loss. We then went to the Mt Airy casino where we were violated by a tardo. Technically I only lost 4 dollars but I had a double on a hand where I hit a soft 14 to 20, and lost to a 21. We then got into some heated Sixers talk that had me bet Sam 1k that the Sixers wouldn’t make it to the Eastern Conference finals by the year ’19-’20 season. We also bet another K on who would roll the first 300 game. I’m none too worried. There was some late night conversation about people’s differences in movie tastes but that’s to be expected. I woke up with a bit of a hangover but a good time was had by all.

3 Dec, 2016

Who is Dick Splint?

By | December 3rd, 2016|My Life|6 Comments

Stortz Tools received a phone call from Dave, who inquired for his partner, Richard for some 341-A scraping tools. He told Jeff that he was looking for a quantity discount and that he’ll follow up with an email. The following email chain occurred.


—–Original Message—–
From: Richard Splinter <>
To: jeff <>
Sent: Tue, Nov 29, 2016 3:12 pm
Subject: Floor Scrapers


You just got off the phone with my partner Dave who is supervising on a job site in Horsham. One of our laborers purchased a 6 inch bent blade scraper from you a while ago and he has it on the job site. Dave and I do floor and tile sub-contracting in the Philadelphia Tri State area and we are currently working on a job at the Horsham Business Campus removing carpet that has been glued to a concrete floor and your scraper has gotten Dave’s attention.

How many scrapers can you have ready for delivery in 30 days? We have an long term large job coming up in Wilmington, Delaware and we’ll need lots your scrapers. We have been previously buying scrapers from Lowe’s and Home Depot as needed but we would prefer to buy direct from a manufacturer if possible.

Can you please quote via email your best price on 500 of your bent blade scrapers.

David and Richard

Commercial Carpet & Tile
197 Easton Road
Horsham, PA 19044

Thank you

Richard Splinter


From: Richard Splinter []

Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2016 8:18 AM
Subject: Fwd: Floor Scrapers


We are getting ready to move our operations and work site from Horhsam to Wilmington. Can you get back to me with a price so we can place a start up order with you. Can you have ready 85 Scrapers for immediate delivery? If you can we’ll mail a check and you can wait until it clears as payment before shipping.



—–Original Message—–

From: Tom Stortz <>
To: dicksplint <>
Cc: JEFF <>
Sent: Wed, Nov 30, 2016 9:02 am
Subject: Scrapers


I tried the number in your signature and no one answered. I google mapped your address in Horsham and there are no buildings that identify as yours. Please excuse my skeptic nature of this request but my radar is going off as not a typical situation. Please substantiate your business (which also doesn’t appear to exist in a google search) as having an actual need for this product and we can talk further.


From: Richard Splinter []
Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2016 1:48 PM
Subject: Fwd: Scrapers

Really? I don’t think I need to be google mapped, interrogated and be on your radar just to buy scrapers. DO I? What? We rent store front 2 doors south from McDonald’s at corner of Fair Oaks Avenue and Easton Road. It is just a store front and place for us to pick up mail. My uncle owns the property. He bought it when he moved here 30 years ago. I’m a Mexican immigrant from Guadalupe living in the US on a temporary green card working to get my citizenship. I hire documented and underprivileged legal migrant workers from Mexico and we deliberately try to stay below the radar. Now, especially since Trump was elected. Don’t really think I need to substantiate myself or the work we do to JUST buy scrapers. Sorry my grammar and English is the best and maybe that aroused whatever suspicions there is to us to JUST buy scrapers. But for what? We only want to buy scrapers. What’s the big deal? If you won’t except check we can buy cash.  What is there for you to be skeptical about? If anyone should be suspicious or skeptical it should be US… Why would I have to substantiate anything to you to JUST buy scrapers. What or who are you hiding? I do business email because American have hard time understand me with accent. That is why I have Dave call yesterday and he spoke with Jeff. Sorry to inconvenience you we’ll take our business and money elsewhere if that is the case. If you are looking you won’t find on Facebook, Blogs, Twitter or elsewhere…


—–Original Message—–
From: Tom Stortz <>
To: ‘Richard Splinter’ <>
Cc: JEFF <>
Sent: Wed, Nov 30, 2016 2:01 pm
Subject: RE: Scrapers


Do you know how many requests I’ve gotten for 500 of our 341 scrapers in my lifetime working here, 0. My email wasn’t accusatory. It stated that none of your credentials in your signature exist. If you wanted to buy the scrapers, I suggest you purchase them through our website and we can have them shipped to you. Thanks for the inquiry.


From: Richard Splinter []
Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2016 3:48 PM
Subject: Fwd: Scrapers

What does it matter how many request you gotten to me. How many do you have in stock if we pick up? What would the cost be per item 100 at a time if you can not offer 500? We would prefer to pick them up at your store and pay cash. I work as a tile and carpet contractor in Mexico with father, uncle and cousins before I move here. My cousins come to US with me and he has crew in Texas and other cousin have crew in Arizona. They interested in scrapers also that is why I ask about 500. We can take care of shipping and getting scrapers to them and relatives. All we are asking is price quote each 100 or more at a time so we have money cash when we pick up.


—–Original Message—–
From: Tom Stortz <>
To: dicksplint <>
Cc: JEFF <>
Sent: Wed, Nov 30, 2016 2:51 pm
Subject: Quote # 1498


I have 144 pcs in stock that you can pick up as soon as we receive your
check and it cashes through our bank. No cash payment will be accepted. Let
me know when you send your check and then I’ll contact you as soon as it
clears and you can pick up your product. You show me that you’re a serious
customer with this order and we can discuss quantity pricing in the future.
Even if you purchased 1 dozen scrapers at the quoted price, I’d be willing
to talk pricing in the future.

I’d note that we’ve been in business since 1853. We have nothing to hide.

Thomas C. Stortz

Attached is Quote # 1498 from JOHN STORTZ AND SON, INC.

To view the attachment, you must have the AdobeR ReaderR software installed
on your computer. To get a free version of this software from Adobe, click


From: Richard Splinter []
Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2016 5:40 PM
Subject: Fwd: Scrapers

Never mind, you insult and must take me for a fool… You web site sale the scraper for $28.00. You must not be taking me seriously. I’m not in the habit of begging. We’ll take our business elsewhere. I’ve wasted enough of my time. Can buy better scraper at Lowe’s or Home Depot for less. Cannot figure out how you could stay in business since treating prospective customers so rudely. Welcome to America.



I’m looking forward to any comments that anyone may have.

2 Dec, 2016

Where Am I?

By | December 2nd, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

It is quite rare I go multiple days without a post with no good reason. Fact of the matter is that I’m alive, well, and feeling perfectly fine.

logo1-newI attended a conference today at the Philadelphia Convention Center called WordCamp. It’s where a bunch of computer geeks get together to learn about WordPress. Considering both this blog and our company’s website use WordPress, it is good information to know. With no background, WordPress means nothing to you but it’s becoming the go to for website design because of the simplistic nature and open source attribute.

Moreover, the people who run our website were in town for this conference and I had good dialogue on our current site and where the future lies.  We are making some good changes that involve where the shopping cart is displayed, how the UPS tracking info is sent, and design in general. All good stuff and will set us up well for the future.

The family is spending some time in the Poconoe’s and we have the a fun fantasy football Sunday upcoming. More later.

29 Nov, 2016

Life in Bullets

By | November 29th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

I don’t have any content for a full post on any one topic so I’ll sum up some dumb parts of my life in bullets.

  • weens2Sam rolled a 599 series last night to lead our team to a 3-1 victory. I had a chance to win game 2 if I turkey’d out but only hit 1 and missed the 2nd. I had no feel for spare pick ups last night but had plenty of strikes to maintain my average. The bowler who had the lowest series had to wear the snake out of the alley. When we were discussing the penalty of the snake hat Jordan said, “good, I’ll never have to wear the snake hat.” Evidence to the right.
  • I won a few bucks in DraftKings over the weekend but am still down 50 for the season. What’s odd is that I didn’t use any of my resources other than Evan Silva’s matchups and did better than when I use PFF. I also nailed 14 out of 16 in the Pigskin Pick’em to set the high total for the week. Once again using nothing but my huge brain. My huge brain also managed to lose 10 more units on 3 bets which puts me down 30 for the season. Technically 31.5 with juice.
  • fantasystandingsThe fantasy football Dynasty league is shaping up for a 3 way dog fight for the 6th playoff spot. It’s unfortunate it’s against people I like (Bud and Sam). I have the highest projection of the week and am looking to kill Adam by more than 20. I need to beat Sam by 22 and have Bud lose. I’d put my chances of getting in at about 25%. So you’re saying there’s a chance.

My Amazon Results


28 Nov, 2016

Upper Dublin High School Reunion – Class of 2001

By | November 28th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

52720-high-school-reunionOn Saturday night I went to my High School Reunion at Gypsy Blu in Ambler. There were about 40 of so past class members that showed up and everyone had an excellent time. It struck me as odd that not that many people want to go to their High School Reunion due to social anxiety. My take is, “who really gives a shit?” People seem to be scared of who they are and what people may think of them. Like re-living high school all over again. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience catching up with people who I haven’t seen in 15 years.

It’s cool to have conversations with people who are the same age and lived during the same period of time you did. We all have the same types of life problems now and it was fun catching up. I noticed it was even easier talking to people who you never used to talk to before. Plus you get to re-visit memories that you would have never thought about if that person wasn’t there. Another main reason was because I know there were people who spent time planning it and it didn’t feel right not to show up.

25 Nov, 2016

The Day After Thanksgiving

By | November 25th, 2016|My Life|1 Comment

For an inexplicable reason, these are tough days for me. I didn’t go to work and have the day to do whatever I please. I awoke at around 9 after a pretty fun Thanksgiving that involved a nice family dinner, some bowling afterwards, and then some madness to conclude (mostly just Weens hitting a million to 1 shot in the driveway).

I went home and watched a Sons of Anarchy episode, played a few games of chess, and then went for a run. It’s now 3:53 pm and I don’t know what to do with myself. Should I watch more TV? Find an activity? Do nothing? You’d think this wouldn’t be a problem but it is a bit. Here’s Iceland.


23 Nov, 2016

Sean Coyne Music

By | November 23rd, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

13692555_526395454219672_132299930312549641_nMy blog has never contained ads and never will. However, every so often I feel the urge to promote entertainment I enjoy.

My friend, Sean Coyne, is a one man show who has recently started playing gigs around Philadelphia. Last night he played The American Pub at 1500 and Market. I’m told he’ll be playing there twice a month for the conceivable future.

Sean plays a wide array of music ranging from Hendrix, to Phish, to even Justin Bieber’s Sorry. He also mixes in a few originals that sound pretty tight which I imagine isn’t easy to play in front of a crowd. You can hear his songs on his website, Sean Coyne Music.

I’m not a music critic but I know Sean’s a talented musician. He played a 2 hour set and at no point was I thinking to myself, “Oh Jeez, get this guy off the stage.”

I’m writing this post more about the journey. If it wasn’t for Colleen, his wife, Sean wouldn’t be playing in front of an audience. She acts as Sean’s manager and her confidence in him pushes his envelope. What interests me is that at this point in time Sean is very self aware of his act. Are people enjoying this? Am I playing too loud? Did anyone catch me miss that note?

seancoyneMy feeling is that once he pushes past this lack of confidence, he’ll start opening up his potential on stage which will improve the performance. The people are there to enjoy the experience, not critique it. Not yet anyway. It’s cool to see a guy who has been playing music for his life to branch out and try to take it to the next level. I know this blog doesn’t reach a huge number of people but the more people that come to see him play, the faster a musician develops.

I’ve only known Sean for a few years but I know a talented person when I see one and his mind is exceptional. His motivation may not always be in full gear but that’s where Colleen comes in. Hopefully this post will also let him know that there are people who believe in his abilities. Keep shredding it up there.

22 Nov, 2016

Elon Musk vs Me

By | November 22nd, 2016|My Brain|0 Comments

Here’s a thought from Elon Musk:

Here’s a thought from Tom Stortz:

“Naughty….Or Nice.”

Skip to about 20 minutes for the finale. Him climbing the ladder also haunted me. Me and Elon have a lot in common.

21 Nov, 2016

Moby & The Void Pacific Choir – Are You Lost In The World Like Me

By | November 21st, 2016|Music|0 Comments

I saw a few people sharing this on Facebook but it wasn’t the actual song.

“For me the video is about our increasing dependence on technology and about human interaction today, or a certain lack of it. It focuses on the way tech is changing us – how we have become desensitized.”
Rolling Stone

This song comes off of Moby, The Void Pacific Choir album titled “These Systems are Failing.” As you age you get more upset at what transpires around you because you understand more of the way you expect the world to be vs the way it actually is. This music video portrays the said truth. Problem is, there’s not much you can do about it because the people appear to desire this way of life.

Neil Young – My Pledge (another pissed off old man)

18 Nov, 2016

A Day Off

By | November 18th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

What do you do at work?

What do you do at work?

Despite what you may think, I don’t take many days off from work. I’m pleasantly surprised to alert you that today is an off day. I woke up at normal time, put air in my tires, got my car cleaned, purchased some random shit from Target, and am now writing a blog post. Why am I taking the day off?  I’ll be heading to AC to gamble away my life savings. All in on red.

All has been going quite well I might add. The bowling team had a 4-0 sweep against the top scoring average team as the Weens beasted a 660 something series. I also put up a 550+ series at Hi Spots which is by far my best to date at that house. I haven’t been betting on sports which I can say I hardly miss. My fantasy teams have all gone to shit and I’m about ready to throw in the towel on a lackluster season. That’s the breaks.

pqyavqpI’ve also been happy with this website. I direct your attention to Boner Material and these pages. I personally think they’re tremendous and it demonstrates the ability to create pages that work well together using sliders. Obviously it’s not my proudest achievement that I have to use female celebrities to attract attention but there’s a bigger picture behind the work. I just don’t know what it is. NSFW.

That’s a quick life update but it’s all trending in the right direction.