Being a Salesman

1940salesmanI’m heading up north for a few days and I get this incredible urge to clean everything around me.  It’s the going away feeling that when I come back, I want to know that everything is in its proper place.  My life is pretty much a whirlwind that starts as a slight breeze on Monday, moves into a gust of wind on Wednesday, and then a tornado comes through over the weekend.  My room gets clothes all over the floor, the sink has toothpaste marks in it, and bottles of Gatorade are strewn about.  That’s why I like going away because it makes me start fresh.

I even like the idea of packing the night before I make a trip.  I put away all my excess clothes, get what I’m going to wear for the trip, make sure I don’t forget anything and then neatly put everything out.  In recent memory I rarely forget anything but one time I didn’t have my running shoes and bought a $30 dollar pair from Marshall’s.  I usually like to bring my golf clubs when I go away and pick a course that I can play in the afternoon after I check into my hotel.  One of the joys in my life is playing a course in a foreign area by myself.

??????????????????????????I’m incredibly efficient on the road as well.  I’ve been on trips with my dad and we are world’s apart on how to travel.  We’d get 50 miles down the road and he’d want to stop at the rest stop to take a shit.  Then 100 miles down and eat at the Waffle House.  Then a lunch break that takes an hour.  I wake up at 5am, get on the road, then hit as many destinations I can before 3:30 (I find making stops after that time is annoying to the people who work there).  I eat fast food for lunch but I’m a warrior on the road.

MoneyHappinessBeing 30, I’ve been making trips like this since I was 22 or 23.  I started making 2 a year and now will probably make between half a dozen and dozen.  I used to get nervous walking into stores trying to sell them goods without understanding how the market (or product) REALLY works.  Meaning, I’d know minimal about my product, know even less about how the distribution network, and not be fully aware of price points and competition.  Now I know all the manufacturers, all the prices, all the networks, and many people involved.   With this knowledge, you’d be amazed at how much better the trip goes.  I can still fumble around and sometimes I’m not pushy enough for the sale but I  feel comfortable in the spot and there are no more nerves.

Phil’s Weekend

Philadelphia_PhilliesThe odds of me going to 2 Phillies game in a weekend are very slim.  I don’t like baseball that much and the game bores me.  Things fell into place though as I met up with CK4, Nikkii, and Jkash at Chickie and Pete’s to see a game on Friday night.  I scalped a ticket for $10 bucks and have to give credit to JKash for telling me to walk away from a $15 dollar ticket instead opting to get it from a trustworthy fellow in a blue Gumby shirt.  The Big Dawg and JK were also there so we watched the game from our seats to start and then met up with them.  We watched the walk off homerun which could be one of the first games I’ve stayed all the way through.

Baker taking a snap.

Baker taking a snap.

On Saturday our rec football league was supposed to start at 2pm but it was raining and there was uncertainty whether we’d play or not.  The league didn’t call off the game and our team straggled to get to the game on time but eventually did.  The Wevs forgot his cleats which was fairly comical.  Not quite as comical as JKash’s cleats breaking during the first series causing him to play in running shoes.  Bake threw a pick on the first series but was pretty sharp in the rain thereafter.  We blew the team out 30-6 or something.  It was messy and wet but quite fun.

I went to Ck4’s company’s tailgate party after that where they had nice catering, a magician, cornhole, and beer.  We had a good time and then entered the game to watch a few innings.  I was pretty beat while watching the game and went home in about the 7th inning.  I could have gone out but I was happy I didn’t because football Sunday was near by.

A Pete beating his child and my chances of winning a championship.

A Pete beating his child and my chances of winning a championship.

I had action all over the place in the games and rather than go play by play I’ll break it all down quickly.  I went 2-4 in NFL betting that lost me $53.  I’m now 3-11 on the season for a loss of $-237.  I also lost one college football bet which puts me at 6-3 for the season up $87.  My fantasy football was again poor with another 1-3 week.  My teams are becoming decimated by injuries (A Pete & Knowshon) and poor play (Colston & Torrey Smith) and a long season awaits.   I have a little bit more action on Fanduel that will conclude tonight but aside from putting one good team together in a 50k person tourney, I didn’t do much.  I’m in 1,400 place currently which will win 100 dollars and I have one more league that if Foles, Shady, Wayne, and Vinatieri  go for 50 I’ll pick up another 60 which puts me at roughly even money for the season.  Billy Horschel’s win was a saving grace through it all that won me +170 because I decided to put a 30 dollar hedge on Rory to win on the 4th day.  The Bird’s play tonight so I’ll be happy to give a pick that you’ll want to choose the opposite of the way the season is going.  I’m still pretty happy with the results though because I feel like I’ve been particularly bad to start the season so good times ahead.

I ran 10 miles yesterday at a pace that I was pretty pleased with.  I have a decision on if I want to play football next Saturday because I felt pretty sore today and I want to be in top notch shape for the half on Sunday.  If I can put in 2-3 more solid training days before the race I think 1:18 is a possibility.  This is the easiest post to write but I know it’s not the best.  I’ll try to deliver a few dynamite posts this week.

A Moral Dilemma. What Would You Do?

Billy Horschel

Billy Horschel

Billy Horschel won the Tour Championship on Sunday for a huge payday. He won $1.4 million for the tournament and another $10 million for winning the FedEx cup. He outplayed Rory McIlroy in the final round to win by 3 strokes. I won $200 dollars off of him winning this tournament by placing a 10 dollar bet on a 20/1 shot. I only partly made this pick.

At 11:17 on Thursday I asked the Shee, “Who do you like in golf?” He replied, “Horschel.” That was the end of our texts. I looked at the lines. Looked at Horschel’s last few tournaments seen below.



I decided to put 10 dollars on him and no one else because he was obviously hot. Now that I’m $200 dollars richer, does Adam deserve any piece of the pie? The only thing I can say is that there is probably a 0% chance I would have put any money on Billy Horschel without that one word answer. What’s fair?

Does Adam deserve a cut?

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Off the Schneid

ravenssteelersSo my 0-7 streak on betting NFL is over.  I hit the Ravens -3 last night for $30 dollars to win $34.  That puts the record at 1-7 (-$186) for the season.  Since I didn’t tweet the bet it’s hard to count as official but I have the screen shot to prove it from Bovada.  This brings me into this weekend where some action will be taken.  Picks will be placed throughout the weekend and I’ll put them on Twitter if you wish to do the opposite.

I also entered a $55 FanDuel tournament against 3 people which is a different strategy than I’ve been implementing.  I was doing a smaller buy in with more players but this may prove more effective.  My start though wasn’t ideal as I listened to the FanDuel guru Evan and played Torrey Smith last night.  He was a bust but at least I had Justin Tucker to offset him a tad.  It’s still playing behind the 8 ball but I’m not too worried.  I also want to add that I have no problem with a person suggestion a player who does poorly as long as they had conviction and logic behind it.

I got some inside info from the Shee on who to pick in the FedEx tourny for 10 million and he said Billy Horschel.  I did this:


He fired a 4 under yesterday to sit atop the leaderboard after round 1.   Should be fun heading into the weekend.

Philly Rock and RollThese are the easiest posts to write because they don’t require me to think, only rehash reality.  Being the case, I should add that I’m almost ready for the half marathon as I’ve been able to run 8 miles without stopping in decent time.  In 2 weeks I’ve improved significantly.  I was in good 5k shape but nowhere near half shape when I started.  The first day of training I ran 7 straight miles with 6:45 being the fastest.  2 days ago I ran 8 with 6:18 being the fastest.  I still have 9 days so I’ll try to get 10 straight without stopping at around this pace and then I can feel confident I’ll at least be able to finish 13.1 without dying.

I also watched Good Morning, Vietnam which stars Robin Williams.  It was one of his first full feature roles and received 89% on Rotten Tomatoes.  I liked it but one scene in particular stole the show.  Without ruining anything, Williams is quitting his radio gig due to the lack of appreciation he is getting from his superiors.  This scene reminds him why he does what he does. Starts at 7:13.

Ariana Grande… Yes Please!

This picture…


Led to this top rated comment from 4chan.

 I wonder if she knows that everyone in the world wants to fuck her.


She has to.

Like she wakes up in the morning, look in the mirror and goes, “Fuck.  Everybody in the world wants to fuck me.”  She eats her fucking waffles, just staring at the waffles thinking, “Fuck.  Everybody in world wants to fuck me.”  The waffle quietly stares back.  The waffle would fuck the shit out of her.  

Then she exercises to keep that ass tight.  She knows everybody is watching her on that treadmill.  Staring at her ass.  Even the waffle is watching.

He’ll have his day.


I was shaking my head up and down while I was reading.  I bet she doesn’t exercise around normal people or use a treadmill.

Rate Yourself on the Swag Scale

I’m no fashion expert but I’ve been made fun of for one reason or another over the years that I started to put together a means of what flies and what doesn’t.  Score 1 point for not being a culprit of the described faux pas and 0 for abiding.


Cargo Shorts

Side+Elastic+Ranger+Cargo+Shorts+by+Boulder+CreekThe line from Superbad (2007), “Nobody has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since ‘nam!” was right 7 years ago and more right today,  Back in middle school, cargo shorts were the only pair of shorts I wore.  That was back in the late 90’s and times have changed or I’ve grown up.  There is a simple metric to determine whether you should wear cargo shorts which is, do you put anything in the pockets?  If the answer is no and you aren’t a tour guide or super extreme, you don’t need them.  I’ll even link to a pair of 21 dollar shorts from Amazon that are perfectly acceptable.

I actually own 1 pair of cargo shorts but the pockets are stitched in the inseam so I’ll only give myself a half a point for this.


Undershirt to a Collarshirt

Need I say more?

Need I say more?

Nothing says squid like going out to a nice bar or club with an undershirt under a button down collared shirt.  When you go out you should be feeling free and relaxed, not bunched up and stuffy.  I would also never suggest an undershirt to a regular polo collared shirt but there are some extreme cases that involve sweating that I’d give the nod that it’s ok.  Another exception is a business trip.  An undershirt on a business trip is expected.  You aren’t trying to take your client to bed so there’s no need to be cooler than normal.


Lebron would disagree with me.  If you aren't excuse.

Lebron would disagree with me. If you aren’t LeBron….no excuse.

Gym Sandals

I wore gym sandals one time to Seacrets in OCMD and immediately bought a new pair the next day due to embarrassment.  This type of sandal is known as an athletic sandal but it’s so disgusting that it should be discarded from fashion entirely.  There are two ways to wear them, with or without socks.  With socks looks nebbish and without (considering they are athletic) is gross.  Maybe this could be considered a college shower sandal but aside from that, I can’t find many times this should be worn in public.


barack-obama.1Showing Up with the Wrong Gear

There is nothing worse than trying to get a pick up game of basketball and seeing a kid in sweat pants and casual shoes.  Or no cleats to baseball.  Or sneakers to a club.  You get the point.  There’s a reason that the majority of people wear the same gear to an event.  It’s because it’s the best and most accepted for it.  I’m sure there are exceptions where people stumble upon better ways to do something but it’s rare.


I take it back.

I take it back. Tight is right.

Wrong Fitting Clothing

When I was in high school I used to buy XL everything.  I was 6 ft, 150 and the clothes ran big but I liked it and thought it was the style.  I also used to plan for shrinking my clothing which was another reason I bought big.  As I’ve gotten older, any shirt that I encounter that is XL I immediately give away.  It fits too loose, hangs too low, and looks ridiculous.  Snug fitting but not too tight is the way to go.  Essentially clothes that fit your body.



0-1  – You don’t get made fun of enough and your self esteem is probably higher than it should be.

2-3 – Nobody’s perfect.  You get by without too much resistance but there is room for improvement.

4-5 – Burn your entire wardrobe and hire someone to dress you.


PYT/Shady Backlash

A local burger joint, PYT, received a $.20 tip from LeSean McCoy. The place is within walking distance from me so I’m pretty much an expert on this subject matter. Initially news was the below receipt was fake but I would strongly disagree after what you will read below.  (I heard through the grapevine that PYT adds 20% to the bill automatically which would change my perspective entirely on everything).



Shady’s Response:


Here is the owner’s response to the situation:


I would like to address the LeSean McCoy tipping situation and our role in it.

For starters, I take total and complete responsibility for sharing this receipt. It was not our server’s decision, it was mine. I am to blame.

I decided to take action after some serious thought. And while I’d like to apologize to Mr McCoy, I cannot in good conscience do so. I stand by my actions one hundred percent.

Mr McCoy and his three companions came into my place on Monday afternoon, and immediately the whole staff was excited. Mr McCoy is a skilled athlete and is one of our beloved Philadelphia Eagles. A true Philly legend and a sports hero. Understandably my staff was really pumped, especially on the heels of they terrific win the day before. (Go Eagles!).

Mr McCoy and his friend sat inside at a booth next to my management and next to me. They were given excellent service. Impeccable service. If anything, our server was a little nervous as was our food runner, because they are big, big fans.

He and his group, from the moment they sat down, were verbally abusive to our staff in the most insulting ways. The derogatory statements about women and their sheer contempt for the staff serving them wasn’t the end, however. After Mr McCoy and his group left I looked over and saw their server, my friend, with his head bowed down and with a very confused look on his face. I took the receipt out of his hand and I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so callous. Mr McCoy had left a .03% tip for our staff. Our staff that was beyond excited to see him walk into our burger joint and was excited to serve him. That’s twenty cents on a tab of over $60. Twenty cents that our server has to split with the food runner and the bartender. Two dimes from an insulting multimillionaire.

I bet Mr McCoy is usually an awesome dude. And everyone has their bad days. But I’m from Philly and have had the pleasure of meeting many of our bad ass sports heroes. Ron Jaworski I met as a kid and I love. Iverson I loved. Mike Schmidt! You name ‘em. I love all of our athletes past and present. Hometown heroes who treat those below them with some respect. And maybe Mr McCoy was having a “bad day” after his big victory all that, but the reports of him receiving “bad service” is a complete slanderous lie, and my crew here is better than that and deserves better than that.

At the end of the day, I did what I felt my heart told me to do. And I don’t want anything from Mr McCoy, but…maybe an apology to his server who gave him excellent service would be cool.

Again, I am the owner and I take full responsibility for my actions. Eagles fans, I feel ya. Id be pissed too. But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and stick up for his friends.

Hate mail should be directed to I will respond to you right after I catch up on this mornings hate mail.

Without getting into what the majority of idiots care about 1) LeSean being cheap 2) the owner being a dick for posting something when it should have been a private matter, the real question is:



bad-publicityPosting this online by the owner is a sneaky move that blew out of proportion.  The owner serviced McCoy properly, got jipped, decided to make a fuss about it online, and now he has thousands of hate mail and publicity that was completely unexpected.  This is by far the one of the cheapest advertising campaigns in history.  I’m not even sure there is much negativity from PYT’s perspective.

  • The amount of people who won’t eat there because they are McCoy fans and hate for this to happen to him <5% of Philadelphian’s
  • The amount of people who can’t believe an owner would do something like this that won’t forget about it in a week <1% of Philly
  • The amount of people who had never heard of PYT before this incident ~thousands upon thousands of potential customers

Bottom line, by making Shady look like an ass, you exposed your business on a scale unthinkable at the time of posting this receipt. Shady should actually getting paid for this publicity.  I guarantee service will be top notch over the next couple days.  I may go by and take a picture just for research.


The best comment:

You guys should make a McCoy burger…  Two dime sized burgers served on a toasty roll.


The Bear Negotiator

future_city_downtownThe present date is June 1st, 2054. Bear Polo has become the most popular game of the era mainly because of the increased intelligence of bears. In the past 40 years bears have begun to walk upright and their communicative skills have reached a basic level where they can understand commands.

Bear Polo is Polo but where players ride bears if you couldn’t guess. The object of the game is to hit a ball, while on the bear, through a goal. Popularity of the sport has hit its peak.

bearfightingA common concern is for the safety of the players. In the year 2054, there are “good” bears and they are being acclimated into society as “athletes”. Amazingly, the bears seem to understand bear polo and enjoy playing it. Not all bears have evolved to the point of comprehending how to play bear polo but there are dozens in the current pool. This is where the bear negotiator comes in.

With so little talent from the bear community to draw on, it becomes increasingly important for the player to have the right bear to ride on. Some bears are treated like royalty because of their awareness on the field.  Some bears go rogue and still live in the wilderness while participating in the sport.  These are the most wild bears but can be the most dominant on the field.  The risk is enormous hopping on one of these bad boys..

Brown-bear-female-and-its-children-play-with-a-ball-in-Kamchatka-Peninsula-Russia-8012761Other bears have decided to use owners.  The owners shelter and feed the bears with hopes that they will perform better on the field.  Owners have begun finding agents for “their bears.” Being a bear owner is a dangerous task but the agent is equally as important.  The agent’s job is challenging because if the wrong rider meshes with the wrong bear, death is inevitable.  Not too many people are up for the responsibility.

Drew Barenhaus has risen to the top with his uncanny approach of knowing which bear should work with each rider based on speed, ethics, and power. This story though wouldn’t be a story without a story. Little did Drew know was that he was being let in to the inside of the bear world where more than meets the eye. A takeover was in the works and the human race was in danger. Barenhaus is the medium between bears and mankind and is called, “the bear negotiator”.

Pleasure Reading

Probably little known by most people is that I read a decent amount for pleasure. I read far more out of college than when I was in college which is probably not uncommon. I find when I can read anything I want with no deadline, I enjoy it more.

goldfinchThis post was spurred by my recent completion of the Goldfinch which I took as a recommendation from Laura or popping up in my Kindle. It was a lengthy read that took me more time than I would have liked but I finished the last half of the book in a week or two so once I got rolling it went quick. I enjoyed it but didn’t feel like I got hit in the chest once I finished the book. Even stranger is that I was rushing through the end of the book which contained the most philosophical thoughts in pulling the entire story together.

What happens to me when I read is that I’ll get 100 pages in and then like a trigger, I’ll decide if I want to keep reading. This is usually influenced by what is going on in my life and how much time I can devote to reading.

I’ll give the last few books I bought through my Kindle:

Business Adventures (1%) – John Brooks – Recommended by Bill Gates and I haven’t gotten around to it
Write Better – 50 Ways to Improve Your Writing (54%) – I get tired of the same old lame ideas
How to Write Great Blog Post that Engage Readers (48%) – Tired thoughts
History of the World (1815-1920) (2%) – I like learning but history is the most boring type of book I can find
Edgar Allen Poe – Complete Tales & Poems (0%) -I read the Raven and said nevermore
Copywriting for the Rest of Us (98%) – Good for business
This Book Will Teach You How to Write Better (91%) – A good read
18 Rules of Happiness (18%) – I stopped at rule 2 or 3.
Complete Works of Mark Twain (7%) – I read the Prince and the Pauper quickly and it wasn’t that I didn’t like it, I just moved on
David and Goliath (84%) – Malcom Gladwell – Much more boring than his previous works.
Fantasy Life (99%) – Matthew Berry – It said 99 but I skipped the last 25%. It got boring towards the end but his life was more interesting than the fantasy stories.
Timeline of the World (24%) – More history that I get tired of easily
Aesop’s Fables (44%) – 50 fables were more than I needed.
I Did It (96%) – O.J Simpson – I enjoyed reading about OJ’s life.
I Wear The Black Hat (99%) – Chuck Klosterman – I’ll read anything Klosterman writes from front to back.
Invisible Man (26%) – H.G Wells – I read some of this while I was hungover on a Sunday and stopped a quarter of the way through for lack of interest.
Bruce (99%) – Biography on Springsteen – Probably the 10th music biography I’ve read and I never get tired of them.

You can see I dislike history and stodgy writing. Brookes posted 10 books that impacted him on my Facebook wall and I’ll do something similar for my own books but I wanted to get a post out without too much thought to it.

Bad Bet Blog Busts


TC getting jump kicked by AB in week 1

Week 1 did not go according to plan.  After a lucky 5-2 day betting weekend on college football which netted +80 dollars, the NFL was none too kind.  The final tally was 0-5 losing $170.  The Jets lost by half a point. The 4 team teaser lost by 1 point by 1 team (Eagles late TD burned it as the other 3 teams were money).  The o/u of the 49ers game got no where as the Niners didn’t score in the 2nd half.  I hastily took the Cowboys after the 1pms for an action induced bet that went South.  Not the start I was looking for.

My Fanduel  action was just as bad.   I entered 4 teams in 4 $25 dollar leagues and only 1 has a shot at cashing with it riding on Michael Floyd.  As long as he doesn’t get shut out I should get 2nd place for a net loss on the week of around $40.  Fantasy was equally bad as the Shee’s Orange Julius put a beating on me in the late night game.  Ck4 blew me away with Matt Ryan.  G-Rama turned me to mince meat when my entire team failed to show up.  I was only able to deliver one knock out from the team that I thought I had the worst draft with.

Losing-PokerThese are the types of weeks that you don’t read about.  However, it’s important to keep appropriate records and take responsibility for sucking.  I’m sure I’ll make a pick tonight but I’ll post it on Twitter as it gets closer.

Current season

College –   6-2   +117

NFL – 0-5   -170