Ranking Spice Girls – Then and Now

The Dial Up Sound of Porndom

The Dial Up Sound of Porndom

Wannabe popped up in my Facebook news feed and brought back adolescent spank memories. This was around the time when the best way to get naked pictures was to go to an AOL chat room and get on a mailing list of Gifs. Your AOL inbox would be flooded with viruses and lord knows what else but this was honestly the best way prior to Google. The pictures would load line by line and could take minutes. Truly a time of the ages.

That aside, music videos were a great source of hot moving females.This Spice Girls video (along with Hit Me One More Time by Britney ((also a great source)) stole my heart. I developed a fascination with Geri Halliwell which fortunately subsided as time went on. This video determined my entire thoughts about the Spice Girls and their attractiveness because I didn’t like their actual music. I thought it would be a good idea to rank the Spice Girls, in my order of favorites, from ’96 and then again in ’16.


’96 Ranking

5. Sporty Spice – The worst looking one with the flattest body. She may have been the best at sports but that didn’t win my love.

4. Posh Spice – Victoria Beckham was non-existent to me as a Spice Girl. They sort of hid her in the back in this video and I have a feeling her contribution to the group was limited.

3. Scary Spice – I will admit the pokies in the green shirt at the beginning of the Wannabe video is pretty hot but she was literally scary.

2. Baby Spice – I thought Emma Bunton was the hottest looking Spice Girl but when I was 15. She was the youngest member of the group at age 20 during the video but it was seriously only about how big their boobs were to determine their attractiveness. She did not win this but here look was by far the best.

1. Ginger Spice – The total package. I can’t remember exactly where I found it but there was this picture of her in the forest without any clothes and I’m pretty sure this was the sole reason I loved Geri Halliwell. These pictures are fire flames as well.


’16 Ranking

5. Baby Spice – No notoriety in the States in the past 20 years and had 2 kids. In terms of attractiveness she is way better than Sporty Spice so I would actually have her at 4 but I’ve spent too much time creating this already and swapping the gallery will be a pain in the ass. I’m sort of doubling back on creating it this way in the middle because I think she might be my #2. Shit.

4. Sporty Spice – Melanie Chisholm did some music and acting but her look doesn’t jive with me. I feel like she’d be talking about saving the whales and I’d be running in the other direction. She has a snaggle tooth as well but I bet she fixed it.

3. Ginger Spice – Fell into some judging roles on X Factor and the like in her later years and still retained her good looks. Those abs show what it takes when you have millions of dollars and more time on your hands than necessary.

2. Scary Spice – Got a boob job and had daughter with Eddie Murphy which was a power move. She looks great on America’s Got Talent and has a sexy accent. I think she transformed from Scary Spice to Beautiful Spice.

1. Posh Spice – Victoria Beckham got a boob job and married David Beckham. If that’s not career super-stardom, I don’t know what is. She looks exactly the same as she did at 20 (probably due to much plastic surgery) and seems like a complete bitch. Like if she doesn’t get her way, there is no other way. Although this would get tiring, it’s sexy at the same time.


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Gourlay’s Goodies Removed From the Blogroll

Sad day in the universe. I can’t remember exactly when he stopped blogging but I was always hopeful the Goodies would make a comeback. It’s safe to say that all optimism has faded. I wrote this post about 2 years ago when Gourlay was on day 19.

The 2 Best Friends

The 2 Best Friends

Blogging is a zero reward job. Most people can’t hack it and that’s understandable. The peculiar part for me is that Gourlay actually received praise for his blog. I have to beg for praise and he would get it organically. I’m not sure if it’s apathy or he’s far too busy making big bucks with the Kickers (Sam might have told me he moved on) but the Goodies was always a daily check for me.

So without further ado, the Goodies has been removed permanently as we lay rest to another blogger.




Read About Hank Gathers Death


westheadI watched the Guru of Go which was an ESPN 30 on 30 about Paul Westhead’s style of basketball. To sum up the style, it’s a get the ball up the floor as quickly as possible and fire when ready. The idea was to out work your opponents until they are physically exhausted and break. The Loyola Marymount team from ’87-’90 was the quintessential squad to work the formula. The team in 1990 still holds the record for most points per game with an average of 122.4.


Loyola Marymount?

Hank Gathers, Bo KimbleLoyola Marymount is a small school with enrollment under 10k located in Los Angeles, Ca. Bo Kimble and Hank Gathers were Philly guys who found their way to Loyola and learned under Westhead. In the ’89 season, Hank Gathers led the NCAA in scoring at 32 ppg. The ’90 season brought more success until Gathers collapsed after shooting a free throw. The doctors checked him out and ran many tests and had him put on medication for an irregular heartbeat. Unfortunately on the medication, Gathers wasn’t the same player which was evident in a game vs St Joe’s where he had a mere 1 1st half point. Bo Kimble ended up hitting a half court buzzer beater to finish with 54 points and the W.

Tragedy Strikes

ImageGenAs the West Coast Conference (WCC) Tournament neared, Gathers did not show up for repeated appointments to test if the reduced medication was still suppressing the arrhythmias. It was suspected Gathers was not taking any dosage on game days. On Sunday, March 4, 1990, in Los Angeles, he collapsed again with 13:34 left in the first half of the WCC tournament semifinal game against the Portland Pilots. He had just scored on his trademark tomahawk dunk on an alley-oop pass from point guard Terrell Lowery that put the Lions up 25–13.  He collapsed a yard or two away from Pilots point guard Erik Spoelstra. He attempted to get up, telling the trainers, “I don’t want to lay down!”, then shortly after stopped breathing. Gathers died soon thereafter at a nearby hospital at 6:55PM PST.  He was 23 years old

Bo Leads the Team

bokimbleThe Loyola team decided to continue to play the season despite the heavy hearts and played the ’90 NCAA tournament. A touching story from their run was Bo Kimble shooting a left handed foul shot in tribute to Hank. This was because one part of Hank’s game was his weak free throw shooting. At some point in the season he decided to start shooting his foul shots left handed. Bo did the same the first time he got fouled.

Loyola beat a stellar Michigan squad containing the Fab 5 in ’90 but eventually succumbed to the eventual NCAA champions UNLV. A remarkable run considering the heartache. After the season ended, the Gathers family started suing anyone involved in Hank’s death, one of them being coach Westhead. They ended settling with the University for 1.4 million but weird times indeed.

My Least Human Quality

Bowie and Prince

Deaths this year – Prince, Bowie, George Martin (the Beatles, not RR), Garry Shandling, and even Chyna passed this year. There are millions of more people who have died in 2016. I don’t care.

princeWhen people die it’s like the world ended…for them. Let’s me go jump into Lake Minnetonka with my Walkman and really experience Prince’s music now that he’s no longer living. I probably haven’t dusted the tape off since 1986 but now that Prince is gone, it’s time I really start to show my support. When people die the flood gates open for all the phonies of the world to act like it’s the biggest event since sliced bread.

Dude, there's like, something on your head.

Dude, there’s like, something on your head.

This isn’t saying that I have no emotion towards death, just not celebrity death. If I haven’t met them on more than one occasion or had a conversation lasting longer than “hello”, I’m not going to go apeshit once they pass away. I literally had the Billboards on for 1 minute last Sunday when the Weeknd came up and dedicated the award to Prince. I have no problem with someone saying that a dead person was influential, but I wouldn’t break down and cry over it. Weeknd said he didn’t even know the man. I also don’t think he broke down and cried but that would be my point if he did.

hanseljpgObviously if my immediate family and friends passed, I would 180 this entire stance but I don’t grasp how people get choked up when people they have never met before die. The same way we look at the below quote as ridiculous, is how celebs dying makes me feel. Prince. Prince would be another hero. I never knew him or listened to the music, but the fact that he existed and made it, I respect that.

I wasn’t like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere’s a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who’s a hero. The music he’s created over the years, I don’t really listen to it, but the fact that he’s making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I’m selling? No. Do I know what I’m doing today? No. But I’m here, and I’m gonna give it my best shot.


Get Paid

A tremendous scene to start off this post. One trend I’ve noticed recently is people not getting enough money for what they perceive is a fair asking price. Since I’ve been in a business of wheeling and dealing on a daily basis, I see a lot of transactions. There is an urge to want to sell an item or service for the lowest (and presumably fairest) price but this is usually not the smartest way to go. Some examples:

  • dogwalkerA girl, who is friends with Jeff, takes care of people’s dogs as a side business when they go on vacation. The transaction is brokered by a website and she collects $30 dollars a day for watching a person’s dog. I assume her reputation is pristine and has developed a fine rating from the site. My thought is that 30 bucks is hardly compensation for having a dog invade your daily life. Me, not being a dog owner, probably looks at this as a bigger deal than it is but I’d want $50 bucks a day min to walk a dog and clean up after it if accidents occur. Even that seems generous to me.
  • wayne1My main man Wayne asked me to sell his dining room set on Ebay. Being a nice guy, I said I would. He wanted to sell a 5 piece set that included a china closet, a server, custom table pads, and some chairs for $580. I don’t know shit about furniture but I know it’s big and probably costs a lot. In my own mind, and going by this idea that the blog is about, I put it up there for $690. Anyone want to buy it?
  • stortz-tshirtI needed to order more Stortz T-shirts so I called up Custom Ink and said I’m looking to buy 60 shirts but I can’t pay $12.45 each, let me know what you can do. She came back and said we can lower the price by $50. I said, “thank you.” What she didn’t know, is that I most certainly could pay $12.45 each but I didn’t want to. If she stood pat, most likely I would have bought them anyway, thus proving my point.

Money is relative. To someone who has negative money, any positive dollar amount is a lot of money. To someone who has a million dollars, they spend hundreds of dollars like people spend 1 dollar. Everyone has their own perception but what I’ve learned is that price is only half the battle. People care more about getting the correct product or having it done right and are willing to pay more for it. Now don’t forget this when you go into your next transaction involving money. Straight Cash Homey!

Being a Tard With Your Phone

This post could probably go on for an eternity but I’ll pick a few that I find more annoying than most.

  • Kill me.

    Kill me.

    Recording live concerts or events – I have no problem if you want to take a picture to remind yourself of being at a certain event. I don’t even care if you take a 10 second clip of the action surrounding you. However, what is the point of recording minutes of footage of where you are? Are you planning on going back and re-watching the shitty footage you took? You know who I’m talking about too. The person who holds their phone up real high over their heads to get a shot that no one wants to see so they can show their friends how cool they are. The process of photographing and taking video footage needs moderation.

  • noodlesandriceSharing Food on Instagram – Nobody cares what you eat. They aren’t there to try it with you. What is the point of showing what you’re eating? Normally people won’t share poor people food (this could be a billion dollar idea) so it’s only for people who are pretentious and eating a high end meal and want to show off. Pathetic. Sharing alcohol is always ok. The bigger, the better.
  • maxresdefaultPlaying Games Instead of Interacting – I’ve become way more lenient with people using their cell phones at functions like dinners or events but I draw the line at game playing. Not only is game playing rude when in company, it’s lame as can be. I’ve played Candy Crush. You are literally spending time in one of the lowest forms of entertainment possible. There was a guy who I bowled with who played some baseball or NASCAR game instead of paying attention.
  • texting-driving-newText Driving – An obvious problem that has to be the leading cause of accidents. It’s impossible to text on your phone and be alert when you’re driving. Rear ending other cars has to have spiked 1,000%. Talking on the phone is way better than texting and driving. Youtube watching has to be right up there. Not a good look.

Would it kill a guy for a Gourlay comment? Are you still alive?

Hard Work is the Key to Life

Do you think you’ll ever retire?
I don’t know what that is. There’s always some way to serve. And I never felt like I had a job. –

howardandstevemartinSome people are born with talent and other’s work for it. On an interview with Howard Stern, Steve Martin explained how he isn’t naturally funny and it was hard work that vaulted him to stardom. Tweaking each piece of his act until it was perfect was his motive. I read similar thoughts from Prince in an article for Rolling Stone.


“The Kid” in Purple Rain

Prince had to be reminded to eat. He’d rather not interrupt his work than eat. This is the devotion you have to have to your craft in order to rise to the highest levels. It’s the same story over and over again. Grow up with some struggle with your family, fall in love with whatever it is you were born to do, don’t stop doing it until you are the best. Literally spend every second of every day performing your craft. How hard can it be?

Unfortunately not many people are given the opportunity to do this. Life gets in the way. The large majority of us may be moderately talented but not ungodly gifted. So it is possible for us moderately talented people to achieve next level status we just have to stop eating.


Put those advertising dollars to work.

There’s this other little problem that’s called work. I love when people say, “I love my job. It hardly feels like work because it’s what I love to do.” Most of us don’t feel that way. I like that my job gives me the flexibility of a non-corporate environment but I’d rather spend my time Photoshopping ridiculous pictures onto celebrities and writing about news stories. All I’d have to do is take a few writing classes and blog incessantly. I bet I could get more readers than I have currently.

Is there any point to this post. Not really except that it’s the same idea for success. Work hard. Give your entire being to your work. It’ll take months, years, or decades, but eventually you’ll see the fruits of your labor as long as you aren’t a pussy and understand what work is. Most don’t.