The Big Berdych Has Flown the Coop


Tomas Berdych

Betting on tennis is fun.  Coming off of two strong wins predicting Tomas Berdych would cover 1 1/2 sets (he had lost the last 17 matches) vs Nadal and than outright picking Warwinka (+125) to defeat Nishikori , I was thinking tennis was easy money.    I was going to send a group text saying to pick Tomas Berdych outright against Andy Murray.  He was +120 and coming off of a huge win with major momentum.

The match was on at 3:30 this morning which I had no intention of watching.  For some inexplicable reason I woke up at 5 am and decided to check the match.  It was only in the 3rd set after a 76 minute first set that Berdych won.  I decided to go to the gym and watch it on a treadmill.  I got 4+ miles in this morning only to see Berdych lose in the 4th set.  I’m glad I didn’t send a group text to bet on Berdych like I wanted to.

This leads me to the Super Bowl.  The line opened at a pick em and now is the Patriots -2.  My initial thought was it was going to be a Patriots romp with Sherman and Thomas hurt against the Packers.  With 2 weeks of healing my opinion is wavering.  The bet feels like a trap.  I already put $150 on the Patriots at -2 because I was scared the line would move to -3.

zhombaegu2otx9xtvfikIn 2007 the league made a rule change that the road team could use their own footballs.  Since then the Patriots have dominated the league with fewest RB fumbles.  Is it possible that the Patriots play every game with a deflated football because there is less chance to fumble it?  That also has me thrown off.  I’m sure I’ll make a post closer to game time about where my action is but for now i’m all over the place.

I Can’t Make This Racist Stuff Up

streetviewToday I’m driving up on 4th street (the right side of the picture) and hit an intersection that has two stop signs.  It’s not a 4 way because both ways are one way.  There is a big bus on my right and he is going through the intersection.  There is no car waiting at the front view of the picture at this point.  I barely breeze the brakes and as I’m doing so a Cadillac pulls up to the other stop sign and he barely breezes the breaks.  I had made up my mind at that point and was not relenting and I owned the car in the game of chicken.

As soon as it happened the guy starts tailing me which I didn’t think to much of because I was going to be turning anyway.  I make a left down a side street and he does too and starts to pull up to the side of me on a 2 way street.  Not wanting to floor it and get into a bizarre street chase, I slowed down and rolled down my window.  He says, “You just ran that stopped sign and I bet you said some racist shit.”


Not the actual vehicles.


At first I was in disbelief and ready to start cracking up because I’m not sure how I could have identified his race in the split second I was running the stop sign.  So instead of getting into an argument with a hot head who looked like Idris Elba, I decided to do the smart thing and say, “We both got there at the same time, I’m sorry.”  I got the feeling he wanted the situation to escalate but it’s hard to carry on when someone diffuses a situation in a calm manner.

amoils-road-rageHe then drove off and I followed him down the side street that I work on.  He took this as I was looking for further confrontation and pulled over to the side and got out of his car.  I drove passed, opened my garage door, and went to work.

The race card is not a concept I experience very often.  I don’t have prejudice towards anyone but today I witnessed a person who drives around constantly thinking the world is against him.  It’s tough to grasp not being the one who feels racial tension but it is certainly evident in the world today.


Sling TV Revolutionizes Entertainment…Not

DishLogo-RedSling TV is a DISH service that charges $20 dollars a month for exactly 12 channels (ESPN, CNN, Disney…). The word revolutionary was used because these channels can now be streamed live instead of being handcuffed to cable.   The big advantage being that you only need a Chromecast or Amazon Fire device to watch on your TV instead of a cable box.  As an avid cable watcher let me break down why I would never buy this.

Many people feel that cable companies charging $100-200 dollars a month for internet and cable TV is ludicrous and monopolistic.  The idea of paying $10 bucks a month for Netflix gets people excited.  Add that now you can pay $20 a month and you get live television, you’re all set for $30 a month + internet.


livedangerously-dvrNo DVR – If you watch television with any frequency you know that DVR is the way to go.  Aside from sporting events, I don’t watch a single program without DVR’ing first.  Movies in particular.  Anything I see on TV that catches my interest, I DVR it.

12 channels  – Are you kidding me?  Cable offers me about 100+ regular channels and 25 movie channels and I still channel surf like a mofo.

Loading – Cable changes channels in 1-2 seconds.  I read Sling is around 5-6.  This would blow my mind.

thanks-comcast-55636Internet Connection – There are times when I’m waiting for a GIF to load for a whole minute.  How can I be reliant on my internet connection to watch TV?  Do you remember the REAL Player?   FUCK BUFFERING!!!!!!

Streaming Sucks – I have watched shows on Netflix and there is a time and a place for it.  If there is a show that I really, really want to watch I’ll sit through streaming it.  I’ve streamed entire seasons of Arrested Development, Breaking Bad, Twin Peaks, and Orange is the New Black so I’m not a noob to streaming.  I have a major gripe with streaming and it requires my commitment.  There are times when I don’t have a full hour to watch a program.  I need to have flexiblity to move in and our of programs on an as needed basis.

yulelog-fire_lgI can’t explain this idea so anyone can understand but I use OnDemand <1% of the time.  I hate flipping through the menus and then the fact that I can only >> through sucks.  I DVR and go.  I can’t be constrained by menus and slow moving shit.  This is 2015 not the ice age.

Let’s Talk Kyle Korver

Today must be Kyle Korver day because I learned 3 tidbits about him that are incredible.

  • Of the 181 shots Kyle Korver has made this season, only 9 have been unassisted
  • He has possessed the ball for less than 2 seconds before all but 5 of his 3pt attempts. (He made all 5 of the others)
  • He has shot 254 three-pointers this year. He has taken 0 dribbles before 232 of them.

To show that he’s not just a 3 point specialist, this hammer jam was Korver’s first slam in more than two years and just the 16th of his career.

TeddyKGB_PAYTHATMANHISMONEYThis dunk comes alongside a bet with Elton Brand. Brand bet Korver $100 bucks that he would hit a 3 before Korver dunked. I completely stole the Gif from but it was so appropriate and I rarely use a Teddy KGB reference.

Non-basketball fans with no understanding of the game would say that these stats show that he’s useless by himself. However, this would be incorrect logic for the below reasoning:

A defender has to guard Korver for the entire possession because he’s always a threat to score. Whereas a traditional isolation-reliant player who can “create his own shot” is primarily only a threat with the ball in his hands.

kylekorver1Korver has become the NBA’s best pure shooter. He will never be looked at as more than a role player for the exact reasons these stats highlight. When compared to a do it all player like Stephen Curry, the difference is clear.

A team like the Atlanta Hawks, who are 37-8, have found a role for him and it’s quite painful knowing he was a Sixer for 4 years and was traded for Gordan Giricek and a protected first-round pick. Now a potential all-star, you see a team who has no idea how to utilize a skilled player. Nikola Vucevic also comes to mind.


Celebrate the Snow Day! Oh wait…

Philly news reports look fairly stupid right now.  I’m looking outside and there seems to be about an inch on the ground.  I saw anywhere up to 12″ as an estimate. Easy job though predicting the weather.

While everyone is enjoying the snow day, here are some unusual clips that I find hilarious.


Call in the Firing Squad!

Death Penalty MethodsIn a pointless article in the WSJ today, Wyoming decided to declare the firing squad as a backup plan to lethal injection.  It gets extremely confusing because the reasoning is that there are “problems with the supply of lethal-injection drugs.”  How many people does Wyoming have to deal with the death penalty you may ask?

Wyoming, the nation’s least populous state, has no one on death row and has executed only one person since 1976.    

There is more written in the article but it’s mostly hooey.  Fortunately this spurred a blog topic in better ways to kill inmates than by a firing squad which has to be a horrible way to go.  How many people does a firing squad consist of?  Can’t it be 1 bullet to the brain?  Why do we need a squad of men to fire at the same time?  Who picks this is as a back-up?  Wyoming, this is why you don’t deserve respect.  Choose one of these.

its-not-the-guillotineGuillotine -  Used during the French Revolution to kill thousands.  Declared inhumane.

Cost – A sharp blade falling from the sky doesn’t sound too expensive plus it can be re-used as long as it was maintained.  The contraption looks as simple as some wood an nails.

Death – Instant.  I couldn’t think of a better way to go.

Problem –  If the blade gets dull and you get a hanger.  That would be uncomfortable.


cementshoesCement Shoes –  Cement shoes traditionally involve binding or incapacitating the victim and placing each foot into the two spaces of a cinder block, which is then filled with wet cement.  The victim is then throw into a deep body of water.  Hence the phrase, “sleeping with the fishes.”

Cost – The cinder block and cement.  Time waiting for the cement.

Death – Hard to describe.  Probably painless and zero clean up.  Shark population would increase.

Problem – If the inmate somehow dislodges from the cinderblock and isn’t fish food, corpses could start floating around.


300The 300 Hole - “THIS IS SPARTAAAA!”  It’s possible that the hole ends somewhere below but I like to think of it as never ending.

Cost – High.  Lots of digging.  Not really sure how it turns into the abyss.  If it doesn’t turn into the abyss, bodies piling up would eventually make it useless.

Death – Hitting the ground would hurt and more broken bones might be more likely.

Problem – Uncertainty surrounds the depths of the hole.

Conservative PHL Snowfall Estimate – 1″-120″

winter-snow-tree-blizzardThe weather is turning and the first major snowfall of the year is predicted for this afternoon.  I’m not a huge snow guy.  I find it more disrupting than enjoyable but to basically get through all of January without a storm isn’t too bad.

This weekend included Radio 104.5 Winter Jam.  I stayed in on Friday to be ready for Saturday.  I met with the Shee at around 11:30 am and then met Weens on the Subway.    Weens really wanted to see Andrew McMahon but he didn’t let anyone know this beforehand or else our planning would have been different. We heard “Cecilia and the Satellite” from the background stage while standing in line to Ween’s disappointment.

After missing Andrew McMahon we went in and ripped a few shots and downed a few beers to get hyped for the next band.  Walk the Moon was next and this is the footage I got.  I feel like such a tool filming so that explains the poor everything.

Strip Club WalletThe rest of the concert went by quickly. Jordan and I knifed through the crowd to get closer to Gaslight Anthem but it was nothing out of the ordinary. I awoke on my couch at about 12am which was a pleasant surprise.  This is what my wallet looked like.  Can anyone guess where I was between the hours of 6pm and 8pm?

t440x300A spur of the moment bowling trip was also lined up on Sunday with me and the Shee. We went to Facenda Whitaker and ran into Sam L. (not my brother Sam) and crew and we rolled 4 games. It was probably the first time I was bowling in a year and finished with a 675 4 game total for a 168 average. Shee rolled a 200+ game but didn’t win the pin count.

This is going to turn into a weekly event on Sunday’s.  I give Facenda lanes a solid A and would drive 30 minutes to get to real lanes when compared to the city.  The house balls are high quality and the price was only $12 bucks per person for 2 and a half hours.  If anyone is interested, let me know and I’ll let you know when we go.

Formal Plaza Pizza Apology / New Blame on Fireside Bar & Grill

Thousands of people were protesting outside of Plaza Pizza on Wednesday afternoon after I called them out for giving me food poisoning.  After further review, this was declared “unstortzman-like” conduct.   Thank Jeff for that gem.

sick catJKash called me on Wednesday and told me that he was recovering from a similar like vomiting / nausea that I was going through the previous days.  He said that Leah, who also got sick, was taking the blame for getting people ill because she had been hanging around her sister who had a stomach bug.  I thought to myself it would be odd if she got people sick because although we were all together on Saturday, it wasn’t exactly tight quarters and we weren’t sharing anything.  The search began.

I texted the Shee and asked:



Shee and I like to joke about Mario golf being real golf which explains the last line. I took it upon myself to add everyone else to the email chain we had going around and see if anyone else got sick. No one did. I wrote this to Fireside.


I have yet to get a response which I find somewhat rude because it’s not a joking matter. 4 people getting sick who’s only common place together was at Upper Dublin basketball game and Fireside Bar & Grill. You do the math.

My guess is it wasn’t the food because 7 of us ate there. 2 people who didn’t get sick didn’t drink any alcohol and then there is an outlier who drank Guiness and some other type of beer that didn’t get sick. Any other thoughts on what I may be missing?

Like a Glove

This gif is from a story of a 90 year old man going through a car wash at warp speed where he confused the brake and gas. I thought it was funny (he survived and no one was hurt) when I read about it a few days ago but not blog-worthy. However, the geniuses of Reddit merged it with the Ace Ventura “like a glove” and it becomes infinitely funnier. “Have an A1 day…?”

Which one is the brake?

Which one is the brake?

Reddit Comment
I have no clue how people can confuse the pedals. “Whoops, this is not the brake pedal. Better floor it in case it turns out to be the brake pedal after all”.

Where he parked is great.