4 Nov, 2015

Jar Jar Binks is the Most Powerful Creature in the Galaxy?

By |2015-11-04T15:31:38-05:00November 4th, 2015|Movies|0 Comments

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Jar Jar Binks Theory

I’m not a huge Star Wars fan. I’ve watched episodes 4, 5,and 6 for the sole purpose of watching them. I then watched episode 1 in a theater when I was in high school. I tried to get through 2 and didn’t watch 3. However, I’m aware of Jar Jar and rabid fans general disgust for him. The fact that someone took as much time as this guy did to come up with this theory is tremendous. I’m genuinely impressed that human beings look into movies this closely.  Theory makes sense to me.

Does this look like a goofball?

Does this look like a goofball?

4 Nov, 2015

A Chicken Biscuit for Breakfast

By |2015-11-04T08:30:02-05:00November 4th, 2015|My Brain|5 Comments

Dunkin-Donuts-Chicken-Biscuit-SandwichAs I was in line today in Dunkin Donuts I heard one person order a chicken biscuit and another an Oreo Cappuccino.  Am I the only one blown away by these selections?  It’s 7:13am and people are eating chicken and Oreo milkshakes for breakfast.

Now where I start to get confused is if I should be disturbed by the people or the establishments offering these choices.  My first thought was to blame Dunkin but this is incorrect.  A business primary function is to serve it’s customers and they are offering what the customers want.

Obesity Map

Obesity Map

On to the customers.  Are the customers uneducated, know but don’t care, or just flat out oblivious?  You could make the argument that I know beer is not good for me but I drink it anyway.  If I order a beer at 9 am is that any different than this example?  For me it feels different.  This is because I rate my selection of drinking beer as one of my worst vices.  However, if you are eating an Oreo Milkshake at 7am, I have a feeling this isn’t your worst habit.

I don’t exactly know why ordering chicken at 7am is wrong but my instinct tells me it is.  My “wrong” instinct hits red alert.  Enough to make me want to post about it and try to (not) get opinions on the subject matter.  Does anyone else feel strongly about this matter?

 

 

3 Nov, 2015

Evaluating Tyson’s Corner Stores

By |2015-11-03T08:42:00-05:00November 3rd, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments

Tyson’s Corner is not a corner.  It’s a giant clusterfuck of human activity that no human being wants to enter.  It took me 10 minutes to drive .7 miles.  There are some positives though because it’s at the forefront of “fashion” considering the road leading in is Fashion Drive (it’s very self aware).  I was told that King’s come from foreign lands to spend money.  Fortunately for you, I snapped some shots of the experience.

This is what the parking lot counter looks like.  It tells you how many spots are available.

GarageCoutner

How does it know? There are sensors that show the open spaces. This was the first time I’ve ever seen this so I thought I had to pay. I was very confused.
parkinglot

This is the Microsoft store which looks eerily similar to the Apple store.

Microsoft

The Tesla store is first class.

Tesla

I took this picture specifically so I could write that this must be a very small market.
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The Galleria is actually the rich mall and you’ll see stores that cannot be pronounced.

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I’m pretty sure this was a vault of gold.

GoldVault

3 Nov, 2015

In Gronk We Trust

By |2015-11-03T08:02:54-05:00November 3rd, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

rob-gronkowski.vresize.1200.675.high.94My fantasy teams are starting to fire on all cylinders going 4-0 this week.  I’m resting in 1st place (6-2 & 5-3) in two leagues, 6th in one, and 9 of 10 in the other.  I’m primed for playoff runs in 3 of the 4 and haven’t counted out the other.  It’s important in fantasy to never give up because that’s what weak willed owners do when they feel like luck is not on their side.  These middling weeks are when the allure of fantasy has worn off and people don’t pay as much attention on the waiver wire.  Never say die.

I’m stuck $230 in Draftkings through 8 weeks.  I read that 90% of the profits made on these sites are won by 1.5% of the players.  I’m not in the 1.5%.  Considering the amount of time I spend trying to beat these sites, I’m beginning to realize it’s a pipe dream to make a profit.  Either way I still have fun putting a few entries in the Million.  Losing 40 bucks a week is still reasonable entertainment but I have a feeling that will even out further as the weeks go on and I deposit less money.

sports-betting-money-managementBetting made a full 180 for me.  I’ve deposited exactly $400 dollars into Bovada and just cashed out $350 and have $150 in my account which puts me up $100 on the season.  This is far more impressive than it looks considering the amount of games I’ve bet.  I was riding the Shee’s heater and two separate times I’ve sank my own ship when making a run.  The Eagles cost me $300 last week and this week I dropped 3 straight (Titans, Steelers, and Jets) for $350.  No problem.

I’m aware these posts don’t hit much of the 7 person audience but it’s the halfway point and why the heck not.  I was also going to write about how much of an asset Gronk was but turns out I have him on 3 teams and the one team in 1st doesn’t have him.  Too lazy to change it.

2 Nov, 2015

Fargo – “Fear and Trembling”

By |2015-11-02T23:41:07-05:00November 2nd, 2015|Tv|1 Comment

I know Alex will appreciate this post and that’s good enough for me.

Doddandcharlie

Dodd and Charlie shooting.

Episode 4 of Fargo was not as intense as prior episodes. Like always though, there are great lines and scenes to enjoy. The opening scene with Otto and Dodd was pretty badass and just confirms Dodd’s take no shit upbringing. He’ll be one to watch out for in future episodes. He also produced my favorite line when talking to Bear’s son Charlie – “Ok, Wild Bill, how’s this work.” Charlie proceeds to shoot all the bullets failing to address the reloading aspect in the heat of battle. I was equally amused when Charlie was punching the henchmen with one arm and ordered an old fashioned doughnut.

Hanzi

Hanzi noticing the bleach smell.

Hanzi is a modern day Indian tracker who rarely speaks and is a character you can’t take your eyes off of because he’s capable of who the hell knows what.   I enjoyed him walking, instead of panicking, when the Lou arrived at the house.

My main man Mike Milligan (how’s that for an alliteration) had a pretty decent scene with Dodd’s daughter.  By far the best part –

“You surprised me there at the end, your finger.”

“You like that?”

“Didn’t say I liked it, I said you surprised me”

OttoandMikeHe’s cool as a cucumber as always, especially in the scene with Otto.  Blocking the car in was smooth and the silent assassins are growing on me a bit.  How they were both playing solitaire in the hotel room was a riot.  Back to that Otto scene, I’m an Otto fan.  I want him to snap out of it and start leading the Gerhardt’s to war.

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Peggy and Ed being morons.

The most boring characters are Kirsten Dunst-cap and Todd from Breaking Bad.  Peggy and Ed seem to accomplish the least and get the most amount of screen time.  Although vital to the story, I find myself checking out when they talk.  I did particularly like the scene with Lou telling them to turn themselves in.  I wanted to shake the shit out of Peggy and tell her to stop being a dumb bitch while simultaneously kicking Ed and telling him to confess.  They’ll get theirs.

2 Nov, 2015

McKayla is Rollin’

By |2016-10-28T15:28:35-04:00November 2nd, 2015|Celeb|2 Comments

When this picture…

mckaylaafterrolling
Follows this picture…

mckaylaboobjob

You know you’ve had a night of Ecstasy. Boob job confirmed.

I still can’t figure it out.  Why is she posting this?  I know she’s probably attention starved but this can’t be good for her overall image.

Oh yeah, when you get new boobs your self confidence must shoot through the roof.


 

31 Oct, 2015

Bill Burr Owns a Douchebag (not literally)

By |2015-12-04T01:05:21-05:00October 31st, 2015|Celeb|2 Comments

Comedian Bill Burr Performs At The Ice House Comedy ClubWhen I was driving down 95 I saw that Bill Burr was performing at the Wells Fargo Center. It struck me that I had no idea who Bill Burr was and I wondered how was he selling out a 20k stadium? As life has it, I came across this video of him doing an interview and I see why people like him. The way the hip DBag takes it, is what makes it. (This video also seems to be from 5 years ago so I’m not sure how it made the front page of Reddit.)

As awful as this interview was, I like it more. It feels more real to me when tension is created. I thought the d-bag took it pretty well aside for the childish move of putting the microphone in Bill’s face.

[dropcap background=”yes” color=”#333333″]The dude kept trying to tool him, but Burr just tooled him back and busted on him[/dropcap]

Part 2

31 Oct, 2015

Who is Katee Owen?

By |2016-11-15T09:36:31-05:00October 31st, 2015|Boobs|0 Comments

Answer: the hottest girl on the internet.

 

She is the combination of pretty face, huge boobs, tiny waist, and mediocre dancing skills that elevate her to elite levels. She’s also known for hiring lawyers to scan the internet and make sure none of her material gets distributed for free. There’s a good chance this post gets taken down.

To be perfectly honest though, her success lies in her ratio of natural boobs to body. It isn’t natural.  I’m keeping this post PG or at least PG-13.  Your question to me should be are you posting this for the benefit of your readers or because this post should receive Google attention?  Can’t it be both.

 

30 Oct, 2015

The Sixers Stink!

By |2015-10-30T21:44:11-04:00October 30th, 2015|Sports|1 Comment

Trust the Process!

17,000 people turned up to see the Sixers lose by 28 at home:

sixers

 

hinkie_witnessI didn’t watch this game so my comments are strictly based off of the boxscore.  30% from the field is abysmal.  Isiah Canaan is not an NBA player let along a starter.  Who’s J. Sampson?  Nerlens FG% is what player’s who don’t have a great feel for the basket shoot when there are no other options and he has strong defenders on him (Favors & Gobert).  It should be noted they were down 25 4 minutes into the 3rd so essentially out of the game by halftime.  What a joke.  I will be watching this team close to 0 minutes this year.  I beg others to do the same because what they are doing is disrespectful and horrid to the fans.

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