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Well That’s Dog Shit!

I was going to make this post last week so I was happy to see it on Reddit.

Good Boy, Coops.

On Friday at around 8am, the trash truck picks up the garbage. They take the garbage out of a can, dump it in the compactor, then drive away leaving the lid off the can. I’m usually out the door before they pick up the trash and this sets off one of the worst crimes to humanity I can think of. While I’m at work, people who walk their dogs throw their shit bags into my trashcan. I fucking hate it. I’m glad other people do too. Here are some of the top comments:

It is super fucking annoying when I have to pull someone else’s dog shit out of my trash can. Even worse when it’s the summer and it just marinates in there.

Damn. I wish I had written that sign. I would add to it that your dog shitting in the snow does not absolve you from picking up the turd. It is not like the shit melts when the snow does.

I agree with you. The problem is not the trash can but the recycle bin…dog shit in a plastic bag is not recyclable…the city will not empty a recycle bin which has “non-recyclables” in it. A dog shit bag placed on top of recycle bin means you are stuck with another week of a full bin. Carry your shit home or don’t own a dog if you can’t handle the responsibility

Even you you little fucker.

It’s not the end of the world, but when I have to take the trash can full of someone else’s dog’s shit, through my house and into my back patio, it shouldn’t have to be my problem. It’s why I don’t have a dog. I’m certain that it sucks having to clean up poop every day when you have a dog, and you don’t want to hold the bag of shit so it makes sense to dispose of it as quickly as possible, but why do I have to suffer? I honestly don’t know where you are supposed to throw it, but it’s not my can.

By | 2017-03-25T22:14:56+00:00 March 25th, 2017|My Brain|1 Comment

Never. Quit.

Gambling money. We’ve come to a permanent ebb. The word permanent is used loosely and should probably be changed to temporarily.

I promise you those aren’t presents.

On Thursday night I was separated from the last remains from my Bovada account. It’s nice that there isn’t a continuous counter because I’m saying I’ve only lost $600 dollars since the start of the NFL playoffs. Some would say that’s a lot of money, and they aren’t wrong, but it provided me countless hours of entertainment for the past 80+ days. If you saw a movie every other day, you’d have spent the same amount and society wouldn’t think you a degen. As such, I’m busto and deciding if I want to jump back in or take some time off.

How did such a qualified gambler like myself lose this money you ask? I’m not pointing fingers but it was definitely Adam’s mis-information that led me astray. He just liked my Venmo payment of $100 to Sam on the Sixers bet which is why I’m tearing into him. I respect the Shee’s sports information but I didn’t consider that the guy has been out of the game too long. SMU. St. Mary’s. Michigan. Purdue. With his help I lost 6 straight (2 of my own) to drain the account of $750 over the course of the tournament. Jesus.

I’m not done yet. Losing the $100 to Sam on the Sixers winning over 27 games is a goddamn travesty. The Sixers are undoubtedly horrible. How they win these games has to stem from the other teams not taking the game seriously. The Bulls are more of a dumpster fire than the Sixers so it’s like they are stealing games at the end of the season which I’d compare to a back door cover. There’s no doubt Dario is a good player but the other team isn’t game planning for Dario Saric. He’s currently flying under the radar but once other teams realize he’s the only player on the court, they shouldn’t win another game. Shawn Long (the guy who hurt Ben Simmons) was a +32 last night.  Christ.

Dipshit.

As you’ve probably heard, Louis lost to a schlep named Ross Fisher last night on the 2nd hole of the playoff. The day was going perfectly with Louis beating Masuyama, and Fisher topping Furyk, which was exactly what I needed for a playoff. Lou hit a perfect drive on 1 while Fisher hit it way right. Fisher, on a miraculous shot, put it to 15 ft and Lou chunked an 83 yard shot which was his golden opportunity. They tied the hole and on the 2nd, Fisher put an 8 iron within 15 ft while Lou once again hit a shitty approach shot, and that was all she wrote. Not only did I lose money, but the unofficially ranked #1 golfer of all time lost to some journeyman. Mother of god.

Tom, why don’t you take a break? You’re clearly not cut out for this action and your lost in your ways. As the wise Andrew Gourlay told me, and I’m paraphrasing, “the only way to get your money back…is to keep gambling.”

By | 2017-03-25T09:47:53+00:00 March 25th, 2017|My Brain|1 Comment

Doug Polk and High Stakes Poker

Doug Polk has created a Vlogging formula within the poker world that should not be overlooked because of how compelling the material is. He’s a high limit poker player who regards himself as the best NL Heads Up player in the world at the current time. I can’t write much on his game but I’ve been following his videos and antics for a few months now. His delivery in the Video Blog format is pretty damn good and I would copy it once I feel like putting in the time (or have any content of interest which currently does not exist). He stirs up the pot and divulges what’s actually happening in the poker world which I’m sure people dislike him for.

Anyway, he created this video called How Much Money Do Poker Players REALLY Have?

I’ll answer the question since I know you won’t watch, the answer is WAY less than you think. Aside from guys who strike it rich in big tournaments, or guys consistently beating the higher stakes online, most likely a poker player is not that wealthy. Doug makes good points like traveling costs, taxes, rake, tough games, being staked by other people, and generally having bad bankroll management that isn’t conducive to making money. A few examples:

  • A mid stakes, online, (2/5) grinder, who plays a million hands a year, can make 150k. A million hands is a lot of hands by the way and this was at a win rate of 3bb/hour. This number ranges depending on how good you are.
  • Higher stakes online players can make more, but game selection dries up and there isn’t as much easy competition.
  • Online tournament players who enter 400k of buy ins for tournaments, and have an ROI of 50% (this is quite good, mine was 8% when I used to play), they only make 200k every year. Taxes not included.
  • A live tournament player who buys in for 500k of tournaments, who has a high ROI of 100%, will make 500k. WRONG. Travel expenses, taxes. Yada yada.
  • Live cash games he said have the most money being thrown around and are the most difficult to track.

Now, the point of this post was to actually look at how much money is being thrown around in High Stakes Poker. When I was in college, I couldn’t conceive how much money these guys were playing for. I thought they were playing for millions of dollars which does happen from time to time but I didn’t look that closely. These million dollar pots are the rare exceptions in televised poker. It should be noted these guys bought in for between 100k-250k in the video below.

That hand was a 575k pot in a 400/800 game. This was when High Stakes Poker was at its biggest on TV. Nowadays on the Poker Night in America, that just came to the Sugarhouse, the big game was people playing 50/100 and some players were buying into these TV games with 10k. Heck, people I know could buy into this game. These games have gotten smaller as online poker has squelched and the games fish have left the pond.

The point I’m making is that when these maniacs in High Stakes Poker, playing 10 years ago, WERE PLAYING FOR A LOT OF THEIR MONEY. I don’t know what their bankroll is, but you can tell that when guys get it all in, and it’s time to gamble, they are thinking real carefully how it will alter their current financial situation. I used to think these players bankrolls were endless, but after watching Doug’s video, you get the impressions that these guys aren’t as rich as you think. A bad day’s loss hurts the soul. Watch this video of Vanessa Selbst losing 6 figures like a noob.

By | 2017-03-21T22:31:12+00:00 March 21st, 2017|My Brain|0 Comments

Cache Me Outside

I was going to use Cache Me If You Can which makes more sense because the cache is hard to pinpoint, but this is more topical.

The site is currently waiting for a release for the Avada theme that allows for the Youtube Embed code to display. Major inconvenience as it affects the entire site and pretty much ruins the meal, and possibly the evening. I’m hoping that the tech nerds figure it out shortly and release the patch.

What I’ve also noticed is that the answer to every fix is “delete your cache”. I’ve learned more about cache in the past few months than I wanted to know. Sam’s blog was brought to its knees because of some must use plugins that the server made mandatory to install. They caused problems and that’s why the site didn’t update when he’d release new posts. Since I’m on a different theme, my problems are independent of his.

That’s an update on the website and you’ll notice the traffic is through the roof. 2 days ago had 600+ people which is getting back to Storage War days.  This may not be great “sticky” traffic and bounce quickly but people coming to the site is better than the inverse.

By | 2017-03-16T13:17:49+00:00 March 16th, 2017|My Brain|0 Comments

I’m So Busy

Sam – just so we are up to date on references.
5. 23. Skidoo.

I was reading some article today about how people love to say “how busy” they are. Being busy construes working hard which translates into self worth. People love to feel important, thus everyone saying how busy they are.

There are a lot of different ways to feel busy. Take Brian’s opinion of Lois being busy.

It’s fun to pretend.

I’m a big fan of Family Guy early episodes. Up to about the 100th episode is where the show jumped the shark. There are now nearly 300.

Didn’t mean to get off on a tangent but while I’m on one, might as well rant. I was surprised to see that print book sales in the UK were up and e-book sales were down. Unpredictable. It’s hard to understand how people of certain age groups and culture adapt to what. I’m shocked how much the older generation uses emoji’s. My mom and uncle fill the entire text field with emoji’s. I guarantee it takes them longer to find the emoji than typing the word. Maybe an emoji delivers the point in more dramatic fashion which is the allure.

How does this relate to being busy? It doesn’t. I have noticed one telling sign from today’s snow day, if customers don’t call in, I hardly get aggravated. This pretty much correlates to people on this planet making me nuts. It’s only a small % of the people but it’s amazing how small disturbances can make large impacts. I’d keep writing about this point but I’m too busy.

By | 2017-03-14T22:08:46+00:00 March 14th, 2017|My Brain|1 Comment

When People Fade Away

A Neil Young quote from My, My, Hey Hey that means it’s better to go out in a blaze of glory than to, well, fade away.

In Kurt Cobain’s suicide note he quoted Neil Young’s song “My My, Hey Hey” and the lyric “it’s Better to burn out, than to fade away.” I would suggest reading the actual text as it is quite a detailed description of a man who lost his passion in life (the website hosting this note would probably piss him off too). If you’re too lazy, here is the gist about his performances:

The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun.

I bring your attention to the Hozier album work which I’ve never viewed closely before. I see the typewriter and some beers which seem to be his workplace. His head is filled with thoughts of city life and tranquility, while his arm comes from an industrial nature. That’s what I see at first glance and I only point it out because I haven’t ever looked closely at it before and it’s a decent segue (after Jon corrected my for all intensive purposes, I’ll use segue instead of segway) into my next thought.

For the love of god don’t Google people having sex at church.

I was listening to Howard Stern and he mentioned how Hozier’s song Take Me to Church signified going to church as having sex. News to me. I suppose the lyric:

My church offers no absolutes
She tells me “worship in the bedroom

pretty much gives that away, but I never paid attention.

That noted, Howard was wondering what happened to Hozier and I had the same thought months earlier. The self titled album “Hozier” came out in 2014 and he’s only released one song since then in 2016 called Better Love. His twitter account is still popping about history and typical Hozier fashion that I’d expect:

I didn’t start this post with the intent to write about Hozier, but then I started playing the album on Spotify and figured I’d answer the question for myself. I can’t come up with any new news through basic searching.

Eminem at 18

My spark for this post was wondering how Eminem keeps writing lyrics to rap songs. This thought came to me a long time ago when I heard this lyric:

Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is
Find different ways to word the same, old song
Ever since I came a long
From the day the song called “Hi, my Name Is” dropped

The Slim Shady LP was released in February of 1999. That’s 18 years of Eminem recording music. How is he able to do the same principle over and over again without getting sick and tired of it like I imagine Hozier has. Or I’m sure you could say that he does get sick and tired of it, but he’s made to do it, so why not?

I try to relate this to normal everyday life a little bit because most people do run out of steam with whatever it is they do. I can only speak for myself, which I’m learning is most important, and I wouldn’t be able to perform an activity for 18 years no matter what it was. But what about your job? Shit. I’m 11 years into my work and I’ve learned much about the position. There is no end in sight though. I suppose it’s possible we could explode the business in the next few years but it’s more of a brick by boring brick instead of a Snapchat IPO.

By | 2017-03-09T00:30:28+00:00 March 9th, 2017|My Brain|1 Comment

What’s In a Name?

I was reading an article today about over-confident CEO’s and the man they were interviewing was named Bill Treasurer. Without much thought, I came to the conclusion that wasn’t his real name. Which made me start thinking how important is it to have a catchy name? Would this guy be the target of an article if his name was John Smith? Probably not.

In recent time, I became aware that Muhammad Ali is not a random Islam name. I knew that Muhammed was god’s messenger and most famous prophet of Islam, but I was not aware that Ali was his son in law and cousin of Muhammed, or also known as the second most prominent figure of Islam. So Cassius Clay, Muhammed Ali, just took the two most famous figures of Islam and joined them into one name. Amazingly he became one of the greatest boxers of all time and living up the standard of the name.

Another tidbit is that William Shakespeare’s wife was named Anne Hathaway. Would present day Anne Hathaway have made it if not for this coincidence?

Am I the only one who doesn’t trust people like this? You are immediately getting off on the wrong foot on the trust scale by creating your own user name. Let me bring us back to the good ol’ days of Chris Moneymaker the accountant who won the World Series of Poker back in 2003. Would you want your accountant named Moneymaker? Sounds great in theory but for someone to go above and beyond the normal means and change their name to an enticing means feels off.

Sure we have Homer Simpson and Max Power. The video game Max Payne. Usain Bolt is like a lightning bolt. Tiger Woods teeing off with woods (not to mention his first name is Eldrick).

These can’t be real.

By | 2017-03-08T09:43:24+00:00 March 8th, 2017|My Brain|2 Comments

All In a Day’s Work

Is this fake news?

I thought this was an entertaining round up of the Donald’s life. The golf in Mar-a-Lago for 25 hours being more than “Signing executive orders/ bill, Intelligence Briefing, and News Conferences” is pretty telling. What exactly would you say you do here?

By | 2017-02-22T14:00:49+00:00 February 22nd, 2017|My Brain|0 Comments

Writing a Good Blog Post

The post I wrote about the Frostbite 5 miler received 48 likes on the Ambler Area Running Club page. I consider this a minor success. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t make an effort to get as many eyeballs as possible. Let’s begin with some obvious, and more subtle, thoughts on how to write a good blog post.

  • Timing – The race started at 9am and I had the post up by 11:30am. This is obviously intentional. I have no numbers to back this up, but if I had to guess when the traffic for the race on both its website and Facebook page is highest, it’d be in the few hours following the race when people are looking for results.
  • Pictures – I had my mom take a picture of me at the race and of the starting line. Now I could have gone the extra mile and had my mom stand at specific spots which I thought were the best pictures, but this is a bit unrealistic. People like pictures.
  • Advertising – After I had written the post, I shared the links on my page, the race page, and then club page. As much as I like to think that people will find you organically, they won’t.
  • Thank you and proper praise – I suppose this could be manipulative but it’s not if it’s sincere. I praised the race in itself and thanked the volunteers. I genuinely meant it. A members of the club with some clout wrote a comment that said “nice writeup”. Obviously this helped the credibility of the post.  

83 people came to my page as a result of these actions. Not a ton, but people are people. It’s going the extra mile with the intent of people reading it.

By | 2017-02-21T20:06:59+00:00 February 21st, 2017|My Brain|0 Comments

Trump is Getting Real Life Experience

I am sick of hearing about Donald Trump. I don’t know how many of you have had a job you were doing for the very first time, but I’m guessing here that you don’t do it as well as you will 4 years later. Yet, it’s people who have a stick up their ass seem to think that it’s their job to critique every move the President makes. Literally, people are getting paid to do this. That’s fine. We should understand there are going to be problems in the beginning. I suppose you could make the argument that this isn’t like a normal job, and the person appointed should immediately be suited for it and for that I’d answer, “welcome to the real world”. That being said, here are a critiques that seem to make the news.

Problems

Because Ivanka sat in the White House Chair
People are complaining about Nepotism (I had to look it up but it’s giving jobs to your family) and I don’t see why this is a problem. I understand she’s not a politician, but she’s in the public eye non-stop and is she doing anything wrong here?

Because he says “very” a lot
Here was a topic on Reddit titled:
SNL’s reaction right after the Trump Press Conference

This was the top comment, “He used the word ‘very’ in excess of 250 times; I spotted him 48. I got 298 uses of the word ‘very’ when I did a word count on the transcript.
Would be very easy to write this script, given the very little you would have to do to vary the vocabulary. Very, very sad.”

Because Trump pulls people to him in his handshakes

 

Mike Pence wasn’t informed about the Russian dealing

 

“I’m looking at 1-state and 2 state options, and I like the one that both parties like.”
Does this not seem like a first class answer? Am I wrong on this?

Conclusion

You can make counter points like the Russian leaks, immigration bans, failed military missions, ranting about the media, Tweeting too much, and god knows what else. You’re absolutely right. He probably has fucked up in more ways than people can count. He’s not perfect but are things really that bad? Is the economy crumbing? No. Have any nuclear wars started? No. Has the world ended? No. People need to relax.

By | 2017-02-17T12:13:47+00:00 February 17th, 2017|My Brain|1 Comment