22 Sep, 2014

Death and Boobs

By |2016-10-28T15:26:52-04:00September 22nd, 2014|Celeb|0 Comments

As I mature, I realize there are only 2 important things in life: Death and Boobs

 

Death

death_everyoneThe ultimate consequence.  An incredible uncertainty.  Nothing.

After reading A Fault in Our Stars, I was struck by how death can strike some people faster than others.  A 15 year old diagnosed with cancer is lucky to live to 30.  Their life is barely even a life and there’s nothing they can do about it.  Eric the Actor from the Howard Stern show passed away at 39 on Saturday.  He was dealt a hand in life which left him 4ft tall and confined to a wheel chair.  He was fine on Friday and died on Saturday.  Who knows what’s next.

That’s why I’m laughing at myself for staying in this weekend, doing virtually nothing but reading and watching movies, to participate in a meaningless race.  What did I do today?  I went to work and then came home, ate dinner, and read / watched TV.  The fuck.  What the hell am I doing?  I’m making money to survive but my life is meaningless.  When you start to big picture life, life sucks.  It’s fine to act like it doesn’t and think everything is peaches and cream, and for 1% of the population it probably is, but what about everyone else?  This is a harsh reality.

 

Boobs

Davon-Magwood-FappeningThe fappening part 2 (this is a NSFW link) is hitting hard and these pictures of celebrities blow me away.  First of all, why is Hope Solo taking a naked selfie of her hairy snatch (That link will lead you there but you will not want to go)?  That was the most horrifying thing I’ve seen in a while but the rest of these pictures reveal one thing, female celebrities are celebrities because they have great boobs.  Lake Bell.  Jennifer Lawrence.  Kaley Cuoco.  Kate Upton.  Emily Ratajowski,  Kim Kardashian.  There is one trait they all have in common, a great rack.

It’s a real fucked up society for beautiful females.  Society basically says, “if you have huge tits, you’ll be treated better.”  This is a little unfair to the following people: girls who weren’t gifted boobs, girls who refuse to alter their body for plastic boobs, girls who want to make it on their own accord without the assistance of boobs.  Also taking pictures of yourself in the mirror is only an issue if you have nice breasts apparently.  I could probably take a picture of my penis but I think phone’s only have about 10x zoom so I doubt anyone would see it.

22 Sep, 2014

Obligatory Betting Recap Post

By |2014-09-22T08:38:56-04:00September 22nd, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

These posts from time to time help me track my status because I’m not using anything sophisticated like Excel.

ituneslogoI went into the third week  5-11 down $180 dollars betting NFL.  I was 6-3 in College up +87.  My fantasy teams had won exactly 2 games out of 8 and I was even in Fanduel betting.

My tweeted bets on the Packers and Giants split, the Saints pushed, I lost a 4 team teaser, lost on the Broncos and won on the Steelers.  All of this action ended in a net loss of $18.  It extends the record to 7-13-1.  I had the most money on the Saints and the Giants.

On Saturday I pushed the college record to 8-4 with wins on Virginia and Clemson, losing Florida for a net win of $17 dollars.  Betting games this weekend broke even including all juice going into Monday night.

Fantasy-Football-WizardIt was my best showing in fantasy as I have already won 2 games and have 2 pending.  I need Alshon to go over 15 points and B Marsh to go under 12.6 for a perfect showing.  I had one coaching mistake by sitting Kniles over Colston which I forgot because I was waiting on news about Charles.

Fanduel was a different story this week.  I joined 6 tournaments and only have a shot of winning money in 1.  Shayne Graham, Pats D, Khiry Robinson, Calvin Johnson, and Larry Donnel were in many of my lineups and they were all duds.  If B Marsh goes over 8 points and Cutler doesn’t score 12.4 more than B Marsh, I’ll salvage $67 dollars after starting with $150.  If he goes over 38 I’ll win more but that’s doubtful.  Po0r showing.

21 Sep, 2014

The Rock and TC Gets Rolled Half Marathon

By |2014-09-21T22:43:23-04:00September 21st, 2014|Running|1 Comment

ive-made-a-huge-mistake (1)2 years ago I said I’d never do the Philly Half Marathon again.  For whatever reason 3 weeks ago I changed my mind and signed up.  I was in a mad rush to get myself in shape and this was a huge mistake.

What I’m about to display in this post is a horrible way to run a race.  In the 3 weeks I was “training”, I never did a constant run for further than 8 miles.  I’ve stressed before that in order to run a race successfully, you have to be able to exceed the distance in practice.  I learned the hard way.

I woke up at 6am and ate a single egg and a Chocolate Chip Chewy bar.  I rocked a deuce and felt pretty good all things considered.  I walked to the race which is about a mile and half from my house.  As soon as I met up with Nikkii and CK4, I had to take another shit.  This was not good.  I waited 10 minutes in line and had the runs which I knew was a bad omen.  I did little warm up and waited in the corral for the race to start.

2014 Philadelphia Rock n Roll Half MarathonMy first mile was 5:55 but I immediately had a sock problem as it felt like it was sliding in the shoe and this usually leads to blisters.  My 3 mile time was 17:33 which I knew was fast but I felt pretty comfortable and figured I’d give myself some room to fall off of 6 minute mile’s.  I followed that with a 5:50, 6:02, 6:01.  That was mile 6 and almost half way through the race.  At this point I knew I was fading a bit but was still pretty comfortable in all areas.  I rattled off a 6:12, 6:19 for the next 2 miles and started to know I was in trouble.  The 8 mile mark is near the bridge in East Falls and it was like a Mack truck ran me over.  My next mile was 6:33 as I tried to keep it together.  Mile 10 was done in 6:39 and my ten mile time was 61:12.  I knew this time was respectable and even at the current pace I would finish with a respectable time in the low hour 20’s.  It was not to be.

marathon_runner-468x472Mile 11 was done in 6:45 as I remember thinking, “wow, I feel horrible and I’m still able to break 7.”  This thought proved troublesome.  My foot started to bother me and it felt like my legs were made out of lead.  I ran a 7:32 next mile and I was only 1.1 miles away from the end.  Unfortunately my body completely broke down and in 2 separate times I stopped to walk.  When I walked, my brain felt dizzy and I felt like I was going to collapse.  I ran the last 1.1 in 9:16, which is incredible, and my finish time was 1:24.46 (6:27 pace).  I was passed by about 100 people in the last 3 miles and was so happy to finish the race that I once again swore it off forever.

I’m not sure how much of a difference it would have made if I started slower but that’s not my style.  I’m not a long distance runner and from now on I’m capping myself at 10 mile races.  My feet were blood blistered up and I probably took about 6 shits today.  It’s not been fun and it cost me $130 bucks and entire weekend of doing nothing for almost 0 satisfaction.  Fuck running.

 

20 Sep, 2014

The Fault in Our Movies

By |2014-09-20T15:31:24-04:00September 20th, 2014|Movies|0 Comments

thefaultinourstars_I finished the widely renowned book called “the Fault in Our Stars” last night and I will give it a thumbs up.  It’s hard not to come away from the book with a new perspective on the cruelty of life and how some people have to deal with it.  The book is about 300 pages in big font and I would say it took about 5 hours to read.  It’s a quick read and very emotional at times.  This book brought tears to my eyes in 2 spots.

Fault_in_our_starsI had no idea that a movie was made of this book and released back in June.  This disappoints me a little because I have a feeling the book is a better way of experiencing these words.  The idea that you create the characters in your mind means that they can only be realized that way by you and gives it a personal touch.  A movie simplifies the process and thus dilutes it.

There is no way that Augustus in the movie is how I played him out in my mind. When I read, I don’t build the character by appearance.  It’s more of a ghost character going through what the book is telling me what they do.  I see this picture now of Hazel and I went through the entire book picturing her completely bald and pathetic. It didn’t matter though because looks mean nothing to the actual story.  Either way, I recommend reading the book and not watching the movie I haven’t watched.

19 Sep, 2014

PA, NY, VT Trip Report

By |2014-09-19T14:46:21-04:00September 19th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

I woke up at 5am on Wednesday morning for a trip northward.  My trip entailed visiting some slate quarries, a foundry, and a few of our dealers.  I dressed in a polo shirt instead of a button down because these places are not exactly fit for nicer clothing.  I stopped at a Wawa in Pottstown to get gas, a 2-$3 Sizzli deal, and a coffee.

What a foundry looks like.

What a foundry looks like.

I arrived in Slatington, PA at around 7:30 and visited my first stop. It was a quarry in PA that produces slate.  Pennsylvania slate has come on hard times and this is one of the few operating quarries.  I got the full tour and understood more about production issues.  I left and headed to a few local dealers who are in the slate trade.  After that I traveled north through Wilkes-Barre and onward to a cast iron foundry in Oneida, NY.  I’ll spare the details but I got a full tour of how a foundry operates and how castings are produced.  The day finished at around 4:30 and I was pretty tired.

I decided to drive east to get myself lined up with the quarries in Vermont.  I stayed in a city called Utica, NY which was unheard of to me.  I paid $67 dollars for a room at the Red Roof Inn, spent $8 dollars for some Taco Bell for dinner, and $3 dollars for 2 Glacier Ice Gatorade’s.  I also went for a run along the Erie canal which was nice but I fell off course at some point and ran through some dingy area that was unexpected.  I fell asleep at around 8:30 and woke up at 6am the next morning when disaster struck.

Sun Rise

I still had time to take a picture of the sun while driving with one eye open.

When trying to get my contact in the next morning I realized that one contact ripped.  I blame this shitty yellow contact case that was given to me by the optometrist.  Either way I only had sight in one eye and had many miles to drive.  I was pretty irritated at this point because I was unsafe on the road.  I started immediately by almost driving up a one way and then nearly hit someone merging off a ramp into a lane.  To make matters worse, the sun was rising directly in front of me and the fog was terrible.  I drove an hour to Schenectady, NY where a few customers were.

I entered a Walmart with a vision center and realized it didn’t open until 9am.  I had about an hour to kill so I made 2 business stops with one eye.  At 9am the Walmart opened and couldn’t help me out until I got a form faxed to them by my optometrist with the contact info.  My eye doctor didn’t open until 10 so I was stuck again.  I drove to Granville, NY which is a tiny little town in New York, and was able to get my info faxed to a kind old lady who hooked me up with a contact.  It was horrible to say the least getting around with one eye and ruined the morning.

What a slate quarry looks like.  Notice the trucks in the back for size comparison.

What a slate quarry looks like. Notice the trucks in the back for size comparison.

I did my business in Vermont seeing the various quarries and left at about 3pm.  It’s about a 5 hour drive so I was pretty tired when I got back.  I put $22 dollars on the Falcons which hit (I also won the Eagles on Monday for $36) and that puts me at 5-11 for-$180 for the season.  I’ve got the half marathon on Sunday so I’m expecting a pretty boring weekend.  Non-drinking though will give me plenty of time to take on a few activities that I’ve been delaying ie) Photoshop, German, reading Moby Dick, and watching Dallas Buyer’s Club.

 

16 Sep, 2014

Being a Salesman

By |2014-09-16T11:23:13-04:00September 16th, 2014|My Life|1 Comment

1940salesmanI’m heading up north for a few days and I get this incredible urge to clean everything around me.  It’s the going away feeling that when I come back, I want to know that everything is in its proper place.  My life is pretty much a whirlwind that starts as a slight breeze on Monday, moves into a gust of wind on Wednesday, and then a tornado comes through over the weekend.  My room gets clothes all over the floor, the sink has toothpaste marks in it, and bottles of Gatorade are strewn about.  That’s why I like going away because it makes me start fresh.

I even like the idea of packing the night before I make a trip.  I put away all my excess clothes, get what I’m going to wear for the trip, make sure I don’t forget anything and then neatly put everything out.  In recent memory I rarely forget anything but one time I didn’t have my running shoes and bought a $30 dollar pair from Marshall’s.  I usually like to bring my golf clubs when I go away and pick a course that I can play in the afternoon after I check into my hotel.  One of the joys in my life is playing a course in a foreign area by myself.

??????????????????????????I’m incredibly efficient on the road as well.  I’ve been on trips with my dad and we are world’s apart on how to travel.  We’d get 50 miles down the road and he’d want to stop at the rest stop to take a shit.  Then 100 miles down and eat at the Waffle House.  Then a lunch break that takes an hour.  I wake up at 5am, get on the road, then hit as many destinations I can before 3:30 (I find making stops after that time is annoying to the people who work there).  I eat fast food for lunch but I’m a warrior on the road.

MoneyHappinessBeing 30, I’ve been making trips like this since I was 22 or 23.  I started making 2 a year and now will probably make between half a dozen and dozen.  I used to get nervous walking into stores trying to sell them goods without understanding how the market (or product) REALLY works.  Meaning, I’d know minimal about my product, know even less about how the distribution network, and not be fully aware of price points and competition.  Now I know all the manufacturers, all the prices, all the networks, and many people involved.   With this knowledge, you’d be amazed at how much better the trip goes.  I can still fumble around and sometimes I’m not pushy enough for the sale but I  feel comfortable in the spot and there are no more nerves.

15 Sep, 2014

Phil’s Weekend

By |2014-09-15T08:27:16-04:00September 15th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

Philadelphia_PhilliesThe odds of me going to 2 Phillies game in a weekend are very slim.  I don’t like baseball that much and the game bores me.  Things fell into place though as I met up with CK4, Nikkii, and Jkash at Chickie and Pete’s to see a game on Friday night.  I scalped a ticket for $10 bucks and have to give credit to JKash for telling me to walk away from a $15 dollar ticket instead opting to get it from a trustworthy fellow in a blue Gumby shirt.  The Big Dawg and JK were also there so we watched the game from our seats to start and then met up with them.  We watched the walk off homerun which could be one of the first games I’ve stayed all the way through.

Baker taking a snap.

Baker taking a snap.

On Saturday our rec football league was supposed to start at 2pm but it was raining and there was uncertainty whether we’d play or not.  The league didn’t call off the game and our team straggled to get to the game on time but eventually did.  The Wevs forgot his cleats which was fairly comical.  Not quite as comical as JKash’s cleats breaking during the first series causing him to play in running shoes.  Bake threw a pick on the first series but was pretty sharp in the rain thereafter.  We blew the team out 30-6 or something.  It was messy and wet but quite fun.

I went to Ck4’s company’s tailgate party after that where they had nice catering, a magician, cornhole, and beer.  We had a good time and then entered the game to watch a few innings.  I was pretty beat while watching the game and went home in about the 7th inning.  I could have gone out but I was happy I didn’t because football Sunday was near by.

A Pete beating his child and my chances of winning a championship.

A Pete beating his child and my chances of winning a championship.

I had action all over the place in the games and rather than go play by play I’ll break it all down quickly.  I went 2-4 in NFL betting that lost me $53.  I’m now 3-11 on the season for a loss of $-237.  I also lost one college football bet which puts me at 6-3 for the season up $87.  My fantasy football was again poor with another 1-3 week.  My teams are becoming decimated by injuries (A Pete & Knowshon) and poor play (Colston & Torrey Smith) and a long season awaits.   I have a little bit more action on Fanduel that will conclude tonight but aside from putting one good team together in a 50k person tourney, I didn’t do much.  I’m in 1,400 place currently which will win 100 dollars and I have one more league that if Foles, Shady, Wayne, and Vinatieri  go for 50 I’ll pick up another 60 which puts me at roughly even money for the season.  Billy Horschel’s win was a saving grace through it all that won me +170 because I decided to put a 30 dollar hedge on Rory to win on the 4th day.  The Bird’s play tonight so I’ll be happy to give a pick that you’ll want to choose the opposite of the way the season is going.  I’m still pretty happy with the results though because I feel like I’ve been particularly bad to start the season so good times ahead.

I ran 10 miles yesterday at a pace that I was pretty pleased with.  I have a decision on if I want to play football next Saturday because I felt pretty sore today and I want to be in top notch shape for the half on Sunday.  If I can put in 2-3 more solid training days before the race I think 1:18 is a possibility.  This is the easiest post to write but I know it’s not the best.  I’ll try to deliver a few dynamite posts this week.

14 Sep, 2014

A Moral Dilemma. What Would You Do?

By |2014-09-14T21:50:04-04:00September 14th, 2014|Sports|3 Comments

Billy Horschel

Billy Horschel

Billy Horschel won the Tour Championship on Sunday for a huge payday. He won $1.4 million for the tournament and another $10 million for winning the FedEx cup. He outplayed Rory McIlroy in the final round to win by 3 strokes. I won $200 dollars off of him winning this tournament by placing a 10 dollar bet on a 20/1 shot. I only partly made this pick.

At 11:17 on Thursday I asked the Shee, “Who do you like in golf?” He replied, “Horschel.” That was the end of our texts. I looked at the lines. Looked at Horschel’s last few tournaments seen below.

horscheltournaments

 

I decided to put 10 dollars on him and no one else because he was obviously hot. Now that I’m $200 dollars richer, does Adam deserve any piece of the pie? The only thing I can say is that there is probably a 0% chance I would have put any money on Billy Horschel without that one word answer. What’s fair?

Does Adam deserve a cut?

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12 Sep, 2014

Off the Schneid

By |2014-09-12T09:31:15-04:00September 12th, 2014|My Life|1 Comment

ravenssteelersSo my 0-7 streak on betting NFL is over.  I hit the Ravens -3 last night for $30 dollars to win $34.  That puts the record at 1-7 (-$186) for the season.  Since I didn’t tweet the bet it’s hard to count as official but I have the screen shot to prove it from Bovada.  This brings me into this weekend where some action will be taken.  Picks will be placed throughout the weekend and I’ll put them on Twitter if you wish to do the opposite.

I also entered a $55 FanDuel tournament against 3 people which is a different strategy than I’ve been implementing.  I was doing a smaller buy in with more players but this may prove more effective.  My start though wasn’t ideal as I listened to the FanDuel guru Evan and played Torrey Smith last night.  He was a bust but at least I had Justin Tucker to offset him a tad.  It’s still playing behind the 8 ball but I’m not too worried.  I also want to add that I have no problem with a person suggestion a player who does poorly as long as they had conviction and logic behind it.

I got some inside info from the Shee on who to pick in the FedEx tourny for 10 million and he said Billy Horschel.  I did this:

billy

He fired a 4 under yesterday to sit atop the leaderboard after round 1.   Should be fun heading into the weekend.

Philly Rock and RollThese are the easiest posts to write because they don’t require me to think, only rehash reality.  Being the case, I should add that I’m almost ready for the half marathon as I’ve been able to run 8 miles without stopping in decent time.  In 2 weeks I’ve improved significantly.  I was in good 5k shape but nowhere near half shape when I started.  The first day of training I ran 7 straight miles with 6:45 being the fastest.  2 days ago I ran 8 with 6:18 being the fastest.  I still have 9 days so I’ll try to get 10 straight without stopping at around this pace and then I can feel confident I’ll at least be able to finish 13.1 without dying.

I also watched Good Morning, Vietnam which stars Robin Williams.  It was one of his first full feature roles and received 89% on Rotten Tomatoes.  I liked it but one scene in particular stole the show.  Without ruining anything, Williams is quitting his radio gig due to the lack of appreciation he is getting from his superiors.  This scene reminds him why he does what he does. Starts at 7:13.

11 Sep, 2014

Ariana Grande… Yes Please!

By |2016-10-28T15:25:20-04:00September 11th, 2014|Celeb|0 Comments

This picture…
arianagrande

 

Led to this top rated comment from 4chan.

 I wonder if she knows that everyone in the world wants to fuck her.

Shit.

She has to.

Like she wakes up in the morning, look in the mirror and goes, “Fuck.  Everybody in the world wants to fuck me.”  She eats her fucking waffles, just staring at the waffles thinking, “Fuck.  Everybody in world wants to fuck me.”  The waffle quietly stares back.  The waffle would fuck the shit out of her.  

Then she exercises to keep that ass tight.  She knows everybody is watching her on that treadmill.  Staring at her ass.  Even the waffle is watching.

He’ll have his day.

 

I was shaking my head up and down while I was reading.  I bet she doesn’t exercise around normal people or use a treadmill.

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