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Where’s My Dale’s T-Shirt?

– Hey! Did you touch my drum set?
– Hey, knock it off!

I know you touched my drumstick, because the left one has a chip in it.

You fucking crazy, man? You sound insane, do you realize that? You should be medicated.

Fuck you, Brennan. I know you touched my drum set. I wanna hear that dirty mouth admit it.

You get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your ass.

You swear on your mom’s life that you didn’t touch it!

I don’t swear to shit!

Find My Dale’s Pale Ale Shirt

Make my day and tell me you found it.

A completely unnecessary opening for this post. I almost always prefer Dale’s lines to Brennan’s but the, “I don’t swear to shit” is a personal favorite.

Back on topic, I’ve managed to lose my Dale’s Pale Ale shirt and I’m a bit annoyed. How do you lose a t-shirt? A jacket is one article of clothing that gets taken off with frequency and it makes sense that it gets lost more often. But a t-shirt? I’m not going topless into places. It doesn’t get removed until it arrives back home to where I went. It’s possible I made an error packing on one of my recent trips and it’s still sitting in a suitcase but I doubt it. I’ve managed to lose it.

T-shirts should be replaced. The worst T-shirt you can wear is one that has a date on it and people can be like, “wow that shirt is 10 years old.” Although I admit it must be a bit of a personal accomplishment that a t-shirt has made it so long, there is another sense that:

  1. You’re too poor to replace it
  2. You’re too lazy to replace it
  3. You don’t give a shit about how you dress.

To each their own.

Thought this one might look good on me.

I’m not suggesting that rotating t-shirts is a huge deal. It’s about #150 on my top priority list of life but I do begin to get a feeling that I’ve been wearing a t-shirt too long. The decals start to peel. It starts smelling a bit. The fit is off because its been washed too many times. Plus I know that people have seen me in it for so long that even they begin to notice that I’ve had it since Nixon was president. This brings me to replacing the Dale’s shirt.

At this point I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I won’t be seeing the Dale’s shirt again. I personally enjoyed my short time with the shirt and will probably be replacing it with the same exact shirt that I bought directly from the brewery. I’ll also buy a few more and here a few thoughts I have on what I may also be purchasing:

I don’t think I like the band THAT much.

Music – I’ll probably buy a band t-shirt that I like that most other people don’t. I have a Zeppelin, a Doors, and Stones shirt which are kind of played out. I own a Sublime and Nirvana shirt from Target that I will never wear again. I wouldn’t venture into the New Wave shirts because people will think you never made it to the present era like Bertam from Sandlot. Plus I took some flack when I bought a Bowie shirt which I wouldn’t want to go through again. Some alt band that’s popular that I like such as the Shins (love the new album) or Electric Guest (who no one knows about) may be possible but I don’t think so.

TV – I usually don’t venture into TV because I’m not representing fictional characters. I can’t sport a Billy Bob from Fargo shirt even though I thought he was great but people would be like WTF and it would cause more trouble than it’s worth representing.

Sports – I’m a big sports fan but not in the dedication to one team. I’m more into an overall awareness of what’s going on in as many sports as possible. If you’re wearing a team shirt, you better be able to answer some follow up questions because the worst guy is the guy who says, “I just like the shirt.”

Fucking hipster…but this is a cool shirt of the Mosaic Beer from Founders.

Alcohol – I don’t mind promoting alcohol I like to drink. There are so many craft breweries that if you find one that you particularly like, it’s a nice gesture to support their cause. It’s free advertising for them and when people ask you about it, you can say you enjoy the beer. Plus this is a decent connection to other people who also enjoy it.

So if you happen to know where my Dale’s shirt is, you’ll probably save me $30. Any other good suggestions on shirts?

By | 2017-03-23T09:58:23+00:00 March 23rd, 2017|My Life|1 Comment

The Game of Life

This post is going to be long winded so make sure you’ve got a nice 10 minutes to spare.

Today was one of those reflective days where the unexpected occurs and can potentially make life altering results. I was having horrendous stomach pains today and I couldn’t come up with any explanation. I asked Sam if it was the chicken cutlet we had at bowling last night and he said he felt fine. I had my usual breakfast and there was nothing in my stomach that should have been causing any pain.

I rarely get sick. I didn’t miss a day of school from Elementary school to Senior year of high school. I went to class with a huge black eye after a Thursday night boxing fight my sophomore year of college when an ROTC gave me a huge shiner with a non-padded glove. My jaw still clicks from that brutal beating. That last story has nothing to do with being sick. I’m pointing out my dedication and not letting the small stuff deter me from getting shit done. However, these pains were paralyzing. I was lying under my desk and not moving because every little wince hurt. After about an hour of this pain that wasn’t going away, I decided to man up.

I remembered reading a part in the book “the Law of Success” by Napoleon Hill that said that sick people want to be sick. Healthy people who want to stay healthy don’t get sick. This book was written in the 1930’s or so and I’m not even sure germs were invented then. Nevertheless, I decided that even though I didn’t feel that way, I wasn’t going to be stopped by some stomach pains.

Prior to the pains, a foreign business associate asked me to call another person who I was aware of. We’d never spoke on the phone before but I knew of his company and reputation. Even though I didn’t feel like making the call, I did it anyway. Within a few minutes once my mind was focused on the call and not my stomach, the pain went away. I ended up speaking to the man for 45 minutes about potential business plans and what could lead to a potentially life altering path.

I went from in sheer pain to feeling great and happy about what had happened in a matter of minutes. I could never have predicted it. This is coming off a weekend where I also felt some up and down emotions which I’ll do my best to explain as clearly as possible even though it’s still not clear. This should probably be put into a separate post but I’m going with the flow.

I’ve dealt with alcohol since Freshman year of college. The very first time I drank, I puked in the corner of a college frat party, and then made out with some girl (she was not a looker and I hated seeing her around campus for the next 4 years) on the dance floor. Since that day I’ve had ups and downs that always end with “why do I drink”?

I’m going to delve into a few thoughts that non-drinkers won’t grasp and even drinkers aren’t privy to because they are unique to me and my experiences. When I drink, I’ve gotten really good at conversing. I’m not talking black out drunk where your life turns into a Viewmaster and you can’t form a new memory. I’m talking about that space where you’ve had enough to drink where it’s hard to embarrass yourself and not only can you answer tough questions, but you can ask tough questions. Also, your listening skills haven’t completely demolished and you can engage pretty deeply and positively with people. Writing that you are good at this can come across as egotistical, but I’ve read a lot on the subject matter and talk to new people every day of my life (mainly customers but people are people) that I’ve had a lot of experience.

So what starts to happen, and I hate that write this because it sounds awful but for god sake please take this in context, is that you can craft conversations. I swear that I don’t do this but the next part will come off wrong. When you actively listen, you can ask the right questions, and people can start to open up. I’m not being a phony when I’m in the moment and engaging. It’s the feeling the next day that’s there’s a good chance the full attention I gave at that moment is completely forgotten. So in order to have that level of conversation, drinking is a great facilitator, but also the reason it’s not completely authentic (because it’s not being retained). I write that because if I talk to the person again, it’s possible i don’t remember what we talked about exactly.

And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They’re usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they’re a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can’t trust a man who’s afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet.

Now here’s the kicker, the simple answer is once again, don’t drink. I’d retort with you don’t engage in these conversations if you don’t drink. If you’ve heard the phrase, “don’t trust a man who doesn’t drink”, it’s because honesty comes out when you drink. I’m having honest to god, heart felt, conversations with people and it feels good. Of course every spot is different and when I asked Rob Kelley’s girlfriend her name 3 times, that isn’t exactly a highlight. However, I had at least 12 conversations over this weekend with people who I feel closer to because I talked to them this way. If I didn’t drink, they wouldn’t have happened.

So it’s a strange feeling because I wake up on Sunday after 3 days of watching basketball and enjoying life to the max, to not feeling great and getting ready to start another sober work week. This is not what I was doing during my 20’s. I had way more stamina in my younger years and a lot of less drive. I can’t afford to be drunk during the week and this is what leads to me to drink through the weekends. It’s the times I consider truly fun (even if I can’t remember them). It’s a Catch-22 and I’ve overcome a lot since all of the mistakes I’ve made in my past. This weekend I didn’t drink and drive. I didn’t put my life in jeopardy. I didn’t do anything wrong but I have this strange feeling that something is wrong.

So that’s it. Over 1,100 words of what I felt like sharing. I’m not looking for anything at all. Just the ability to look back at this post years from now and think back to when I felt this way. All is good. Hope you are feeling good. If not, at least ok. At least Sam will like that one.


By | 2017-03-21T21:39:30+00:00 March 21st, 2017|My Life|1 Comment

Finally…TC. Is Above The Law

All l know is, l finally got enough money…

that l can buy my way out of anything.

l can do anything l want when l get my money later.

And l won!

Finally, Big Ern is above the law!

lt’s a great feeling.

Maybe you’ve already heard, but I did manage to win a bowling tournament at South Bowl. Half drunk I should add. I’ll go over some of the finer points on my win against 23 other bowlers in an NCAA tournament like, 9 tap (9’s are considered strikes), single elimination structure.

The first match started with 3 people on a lane and the top 2 advance. I threw an open in the 3rd frame which is a big no-no and had me behind. I ended up closing with 6 strikes and advanced with a 242. Next I rolled against a guy who wasn’t in my league. I wasn’t even striking but he handed it to me. The next game I was rolling fine and hit a washout in the 10th to seal the deal. I was down to the final 4 and the next guy didn’t bowl so well and I won with no drama to advance to the final game.

The bowler I was up against had just rolled 2 300 games in a row but I wasn’t worried. Any lane at any time can give someone trouble. In bizarre fashion we both had splits in the 2nd frame. He left another open and I knew I had a great chance to win as long as I stayed tough. I was picking up a few strikes and hitting all my spares until the 9th frame when I was ahead and he was coming off of about 4 strikes. I threw a 7 10 and thought I was toast. It was pretty much all over…until he threw a 7 10. I needed to close with 2 strikes in order to win and it’s why I’m the anchor. In big spots, TC doesn’t fuck around and I took the title with a 210-202 victory. It pocketed me $180 dollars which I’ve already spent.

By | 2017-03-19T10:57:15+00:00 March 19th, 2017|My Life|1 Comment

Attaching to Inanimate Objects

I recently replaced my 46″ Sony Bravia television that I bought a decade ago. I kid thee not, the picture quality of this TV and the brand new 48″ Samsung is virtually identical. The Sony probably cost me over a K back then and my new Samsung was only $450 which I thought was pretty cheap. The Bravia didn’t have many features, only HD channels. This new “smart” TV can watch Netflix but scanning the internet is an exercise in futility. For all intensive purposes, I didn’t have to replace my TV, but the time felt right. I’m going to give it to my mom who can use it for the Pocono House and extend its life span.

The TV replacement came hand in hand with a brand new driver I bought as well. I hit a Callaway XR at GolfSmith last season but didn’t pull the trigger because it was too expensive. I impulsively went to Dick’s a few weeks ago and found the same driver for $200 and figured it was time to replace the old Ping. Now, Louie plays Ping so it’s hard for me to go against the brand, but after so many hits with it, it had run its course. After the 2nd round I played with the new driver, it was clear I made the right choice. The control was tight, as I didn’t lose a ball off the tee in 2 rounds, and I was getting my distance back towards the end of my second round. Small sample size, but I’m hoping for the best.

Both of these items I replaced had been with me for between 5 and 10 years and served me well. Whatever I paid for them was elapsed many times over which is why I’m mostly a proponent of spending more on items that you intend to last you a long time.

Nice Jeans!

However, on that TV and driver, it was like I was getting rid of a part of me. Frankly this feeling didn’t last for more than 5 seconds as yanked the plug on the TV and gave the driver to Adam, but it did exist for a very brief moment. Oddly enough when I replace my bowling ball, it doesn’t carry the same emotional weight. Some items that I get attached to:

  • The pair of jeans I wear everyday
  • Running shoes that fit so well after I while that I hate to replace
  • Old golf cards with rounds that I played well
  • Replacing a hard drive
By | 2017-03-07T15:01:37+00:00 March 7th, 2017|My Life|1 Comment

From the Jaws of Defeat

I flew to Vegas on Tuesday and while I headed to the baggage claim, I turned my head to the right and saw Ron Jaworski coming out of the bathroom. My jaw dropped.

I was like, “are you Jaws?”
“I got a hole in one on Riverwinds and you signed a football.”
“Congratulations. I’ve never had one, what hole was it?”
“15. I also play Dowington, Ramblewood…how are your courses doing”
“Ramblewood is great with the 27 holes and the renovations. Riverwinds is doing well too.
“Are golf courses good investments?
“They produce beer money.”

A few other sentences were spoken but I didn’t want to seem like an over eager fan even though I wanted to be like, “Ron. Ron. Ron. Take a selfie with me.” I did mange to take a picture of him though.

After the Jaws encounter, I checked into the Luxor and roamed around the city a little bit. I’ve seen Vegas before and enjoyed the atmosphere around me. It’s nothing special to me unfortunately. I hit the sack at around 10:30 and woke up the next morning at 6 am to see the sunrise.

I went for a run for about 2.5 miles in the opposite direction of the Strip. I’ve run the Strip before and it’s annoying because you can’t cross the streets and have to run the pedestrian stairs. The other way down Las Vegas Blvd is not that scenic. I’ll also add I tried to go to the Luxor gym at 6am and it was packed. The gym is nowhere near big enough to handle the 5,000 hotel rooms they have there. I ate breakfast after and was feeling pretty good. I did the show which I won’t bore you with.

At around 8 I decided to head over to the Bellagio to play some poker and ran into Scott Seiver, Patrick Antonius and Gus Hansen in Bobby’s Room. I didn’t say anything but it was cool to see them there. Gus is a lot shorter in person. The players at the 1-3 game are more intelligent than the games at Sugarhouse. More 3 betting. Not as much limped flops. More attacking weakness. Better players but better players have holes too like calling too many hands and making hero calls. I ended up losing $75 with not too many of hands of interest.

The next morning was a meeting for a group I’m associated with and I did the trade show for the 2nd day. After the show ended I had an 11pm flight back to Philly. I had a few hours to kill and played a few shoes of blackjack where I won $20 bucks. A guy split 9’s against, and I want to say 7 here (the only non-split card on the chart from 2-9) but it could have been 8 and got 2 10’s. I was off an 11 so I wasn’t real pleased. I doubled to a 14 and lost the hand which also killed all the momentum. At the time I thought it was an idiotic move to break 18 against a 7 or 8, but after seeing the card, it obviously wasn’t. Either way, I went on to lose the next few hands and walked away.  I was playing by myself at a 25 min before that guy jumped in mid-shoe and killed my vibe.

I played some poker at the Luxor which I wouldn’t recommend and lost $200 on some suspect plays. I did manage to win about $150 sports betting so it all evens out (even though my net for the trip was negative). I even managed to save $33 because Draftkings rejected my lineup because I had Sam put it in from another state and they asked how I could be in 2 places at 1 time which violates their policy. DK is banned in Nevada. The reason I saved my money is because Stenson withdrew which would have been a sure fire loss. I picked one player out of 76 which seems to happen to me far more often than it should.

I’ll close with the plane ride. I lost $50 in a Jurassic Park slot machine at the airport that I was certain I was destined to win on with my bowling nickname being T-Rex. Degenerate shit right there rooting for Alan, Ellie, and Nedry to escape a Velociraptor. I got on the plane at 11pm and was trying to go to sleep but it wasn’t happening. I had to rip a fart the entire ride and it was ruining my time until eventually I just made the two people next to me get up so I could unleash one. My flight was ruined by people coughing. I swear to god they should put people who want to cough the entire time on another flight. Out of the 200 people on the flight I would estimate that 20 people could have contaminated the entire flight by coughing constantly. I don’t mind sneezes, but these people were coughing like they were ill in a confined space. Not cool.

Figured Rob would like this autographed TB12.

By | 2017-03-03T15:47:47+00:00 March 3rd, 2017|My Life|0 Comments

Taking a Step Back

I figured I’d squeeze one more post in before Viva Las Vegas.

Last night we bowled Strike You and managed a 3-1 record. This was mostly due to the sharp-shooting of Sam who finished with a 650 series (230+ & 260+) and could have gone higher if he didn’t “tard” out the last game. Weens also managed a bizarre 234 in the final game which allowed us to cling to a winning record. Without these nice performances, we would have been toast. Since it’s my blog, I’m going to write about me who was the main reason we were nearly toast.

I barely cleared a 500 series and this is coming off 3 straight 600 series prior weeks. It’s one thing to be 550, but low 500’s is not where I’m at. Sam, Rob, and I rolled 8 games on Saturday and I averaged 207 on the exact lane that one of the ones was last night. I didn’t have a problem on 15, but 16 had my head spinning.

In all my games at South Bowl, the philosophy is move right as the lanes start to break down. 16 last night was the opposite as I couldn’t hit the right side of the lane as hard as I tried. Now after I finished and gave it some thought, I should have tried one time to move further right and keep the ball really right. It boggles my mind why I didn’t try this with one of my throws. Either way, last night I had about 9 or 10 open frames on both lanes. Last week I had 1. Last practice I had about the same through 8 games. I felt perfectly fine but I couldn’t pick up the spare pins. I’ve considered it being the competition but I have to say that wasn’t on my mind last night.

I didn’t break down mentally aside from the frustration I felt from not knocking over more pins. It’s like I knew it would turn around but it never did. I couldn’t string 2 strikes together. At one point in the 2nd game I had thrown 5 strikes on the left lane and 0 on the right. When you can’t string strikes together, you can’t score.

It’s actually a miracle that our team managed a 3-1 night with my poor performance and a blind player but each game came down to me vs their final bowler and we had some extraordinary luck. We would have lost the first game but their guy threw a split after I striked. Then in the 2nd game I managed a spare, strike and he didn’t turkey. The final game had us both go back to back and they couldn’t catch us on the total pins. Wild action.

This is mainly a recap of last night than saying I’m a mental midget but it helps to write it out.

By | 2017-02-28T13:43:04+00:00 February 28th, 2017|My Life|0 Comments On the Fritz

This website is seriously damaged and Anoop couldn’t help me. We all know about the homepage not updating with new posts. This is extremely annoying. I went through their support and we ended up altering a part of the cache file. What this did was screw up plugin updates that surround that file. So when I tried to update Akismet, it broke the site.  I also can’t upload pictures.

When the site breaks, I have to go to Hostmonster and have them revert back. Anoop renamed the plugin file and I’m re-activating them one by one. Not knowing what is the problem plugin, this is fucked up. The W3 Total cache seems to be the root of the problem. If the site is down, these problems still loom.

In other news, I’m heading to Vegas on Tuesday and will be back early Friday morning. I’m heading to a Roofing Show which is code name for 2 day vacation. Not really but not that far off. Most likely there will be no posts in the meantime.

I have other little tidbits going on in my life but they are barely blog worthy. No one cares about our bowling league and we take on Strike You tonight who has the highest team average. Sam and I have been pretty hot and if the Cohen’s come to play, we should be fine.

Jeff and I went golfing on Friday and we paid $23 and got in 18 holes. The front nine took us 2:15 and the back nine was 45 minutes. It was getting dark considering we teed off at 3pm. I shot a 44 on the front and was driving the ball beautifully with my new driver and 3 wood. I even had 2 up and downs which I was never doing before. I’m feeling really good about this season and a few minor tweaks will hopefully make big differences.

My Bovada account is making a boost again with some timely Sixers bets. Having a juiced account for March Madness is preferred. In other gambling news, I was hit with a 3 outer when I flopped top 2 and was up against top pair with a higher kicker. I haven’t been running so hot and it’s not because of bad play. I get it in and lose when I’m ahead and also lose when I’m behind. These reasons are why I try not to devote so much time towards playing.

I’ve been lax on blog updates and I don’t have any good reason other than I’m just not posting. No real explanation.

By | 2017-02-27T12:28:40+00:00 February 27th, 2017|My Life|2 Comments

JC and Bassett’s Blunder

My dad, JC as he is known to his friends & family, is not a run of the mill gentleman. He beats to his own drum and never ceases to amaze. What happened to us today was a standard run to Bassetts in the Reading Terminal Market to pick up ice cream.

Bassetts is on 12th and Chestnut and we were leaving from 2nd and Vine. I took Arch St because I figured it was a straight shot. Around 9th we run into some traffic problems and this used to frustrate JC, but the new and improved JC stayed calm as we battled the traffic. I pulled over to the side and put my flashers on while JC went in to the get the ice cream. About 5 minutes passed and he came out carrying 2 tubs of ice cream.

As he enters the car I have a sense that whatever occurred inside didn’t go exactly as planned.

He sits down and says, “wow, that was a horrific experience.”

I humor him, “what went wrong?”

“They gave me this much ice (about 40 tiny cubes) and charged me $8. How is this going to keep it cold for the ride home?”

I didn’t know what to say. He gives me some further directions to take Market back instead of Filbert and this was sound advice. On the car ride back I started to get the whole story. He called up at 11:30 and asked if he could get some “dry ice” because he needed to keep his 2, 2 1/2 gallon tubs cool as he had 3 hours of traveling ahead. They said no problem. When we got there, he was given a tiny bag of ice. The icing on the cake is that they charged him $8 for it because this is what an employee had agreed to on the phone previously for proper packaging.


JC was stunned. He couldn’t believe that the crew of 4 thought that the amount of ice in a bag warranted $8 of his hard earned money. Here are some direct quotes:

“The woeful wholesale packaging department for significant travel needs a severe upgrade”

“4 guys working on this problem – not understaffed –  problem solving ability is a bit to be desired.”

“No need to go overboard to keep the $90 amount of JC’s Seasonal Eggnog Ice Cream and the all time favorite, off the map, put it up against any ice cream in the Eastern seaboard, maybe the country, French Vanilla.”

“Now it’s time to get ready for some serious ice cream eating”

Doesn’t your dad by ice cream by the 3 gallon tub?

By | 2017-02-22T13:20:03+00:00 February 17th, 2017|My Life|1 Comment

The William Penn Snaps

If you needed a reason to join SnapChat, look no further than the William Penn snaps. I have them saved to my phone but, to my knowledge, that’s the only place they are currently.

On Thursday night I decided to go out and have a few drinks. My night escalated once I got to Howl at the Moon and started drinking pint glasses of Victory Dirt Wolf which is intended to make you take a dirt nap. Somewhere along the night I decided to post an array of Snapchats with myself and the statue of William Penn on City Hall.

I woke up with a splitting headache and messages that praised the William Penn Snapchats. Apparently being near black out and posing with a statue is all you need for internet success. People were so enthused they began sending me their own William Snapchats and I have a few thoughts:

  • The closer you are to blackout, the better
  • If you aren’t close to the statue, it doesn’t make sense. The statue is the essence of the SnapChat
  • You need inside humor. I guarantee only Shee knew who Weird Haircut Seth was. Only Weens and a few others knew the high pitched squeal.

All that being said, 22 people got to enjoy my Snapchat and then the follow up the next night. The follow up was planned ahead of time which immediately detracts from the natural being. Either way, I have to take a break from this as I paid dearly in mental well being from producing these videos. Hope you enjoyed them.

By | 2017-02-12T11:45:06+00:00 February 12th, 2017|My Life|0 Comments

Donald’s Tweets

This tweet is not right for a President. If you follow the blog, you’d know I don’t care if our President is Donald Trump or Donald Duck. I truly don’t. As long as I can live my life with the opportunity that America has brought since its inception, I’m cool. However, this tweet is crossing a line. A read that Nordstrom said that the sales of her brand sucked. If they want to discontinue carrying Ivanka’s line, it’s their prerogative. The PoTUS has no right to even have an opinion on this matter. Pretty absurd.

In other news, how does President Donald Trump only have 15 million followers on Twitter? His personal account has 24 million.  Obama managed 84 million throughout the 8 years. The Biebs has 91 million compared to Hillary’s 13. Hillary had 65 million of the popular vote to Donald’s 62. Are you telling me there are this many people not on Twitter? How did I get talked in to owning this POS?


By | 2017-02-10T13:00:42+00:00 February 9th, 2017|My Life|1 Comment