We Don't Walk Slow

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

250 Idiots Pay It Forward At McDonald’s

250 “Merry Christmas” Idiots Pay It Forward

Call me a scrooge but this is bizarre. In Lakeland, FL, (a bit East of Tampa), 250 customers responded to “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays”, and paid it forward 250 times during a 6 hour span. This started it:

“She said, ‘If you don’t mind, I want to pay for the next lady’s order. But I want you to tell her that I said, ‘Have a Merry Christmas,’ not ‘Happy Holidays,” Figueroa explained.

Best Comment

Don’t these people get it that in the end, you still paid for McDonalds. Whether it was your order or the next person’s, it doesn’t matter.

Nothing was gained here, other than people paying for each other’s McDonalds and making a complete stranger feel awkward and obligated to pay for the next person.

What Gourlay Would Say

I would have no problem being the last one in the chain

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-15T14:45:24-05:00December 15th, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments

Jokes in a Public Setting

Everyone knows the internet never forgets and I deleted this comment, but still would like to share my thought process on it.

1) I don’t think the sweater that Weens is wearing is ugly. I have one that’s almost identical. My fashion sense is limited though. I wore a Guinness sweat-shirt to a birthday party last week and Lauren McGrath said, “jesus, Tom, dress up a bit.” Coming from her I laughed. I’m never best dressed though.

How to deal with Facebook Bullying

2) People on Facebook who see this comment have no idea that I don’t really care what Jordan’s sweater looks like. This makes me a jerk because I’m putting a sweater on blast in order to make a joke.

3) No one is going to laugh at this joke. I personally found it funny for about a half a second but the Facebook crowd doesn’t have a sense of humor. PC would tell me how much an A-hole I am and start creating groups like “Jordan’s awesome sweater.” This is why the internet has become a sad place because my best course of action is to do nothing at all.

Is there anything wrong with comments like this?

I’d say yes. When I posted it, I knew it wasn’t right. It’s like an instinct saying, “you shouldn’t be doing this.” Especially because if Jordan wanted to internet fight, all he had to do was say how much of a pussy I am for passing out in the middle of the party and taking up an entire couch while there were 20 people in an apartment. I’m certainly not one to be making fun of others.

Just a quick note, on Saturday I had my first few drinks at 3pm and didn’t eat a full dinner which is my own fault. This lead to an early KO. Not eating is 99% of the problem. As I think back to the night, it’s like a few screen shots instead of a video.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-15T13:11:15-05:00December 15th, 2015|My Life|0 Comments

A Rival to Ken M

Ken M is a great troll but Robert Graves did a number on Brendan Sullivan. It’s hard to say if Brendan is that dumb but it made for some good entertainment.

5/7

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:41:29-04:00December 14th, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments

Turkeys Win!

Not this time.

Ho hum, the Wild Turkeys defeat the Shee in the playoffs. Big shocker. Playing big name players like Marigota, James White, Kyle Rudolph, and Ronnie Hillman was too much for the Shee to overcome. Another year, another playoff victory. If I did that math, that puts me at 11-0 for my last 11 playoff games in the Dynasty. Ho hum.

I also knocked off Bake in his own league as long as Josh Brown doesn’t go for 21. Down to the final 4 in 3 leagues. Wevs is up next and doesn’t have a vehicle like this incredible blog to trash talk. Just because you’re the commissioner doesn’t mean the Turkey’s will show you any mercy. I hope Bud is waiting in the championship wings because the Turkeys are pretty much a steam roller to any of Bud’s teams. My team in Steve’s league is even better as they put up 140 points, ON THEIR BYE WEEK. I didn’t even pay attention and sub Gronk in and Teach Me How To Dougie Baldwin dropped 35 on nobody. I also failed to submit my DK lineup where I had a Russy and Dougie stack. My bovada account is virtually empty too which sucks but that’s the breaks. Horrible post but I’m at work and wanted to drop a post.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-14T10:21:47-05:00December 14th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

What Are These People Thinking?

McKayla Maroney

My prediction is she will be the next Amanda Bynes. She is out of the spotlight since her silver medal and she needs the attention. She got a boob job (I refuse to believe otherwise) and is now posting provocative pokie pictures where she is “unintentionally” pulling her shirt tighter so her shit looks better. She’s 20 now so she knows exactly what she is doing but I can’t figure out why she is doing it as it just makes her come across as attention starved.

Sam Hinkie
The Sixers have had 2, 41 win seasons in the last decade. Every other year has been a losing season and this is Hinkie’s 3rd year with a a team that is on pace to win 4 games. I doubt they get there. I flat out think he has no clue what he’s doing. His vision of losing games to get high draft picks is falling flat on it’s face for one reason, HE ISN’T DRAFTING GOOD PLAYERS. MCW was a good pick as he won rookie of the year and then got shipped off for another pick.

I can’t see where the Sixers are going to get better. Okafor and Nerlens are decent players but that is the only NBA talent the team has currently. “Hinkie stole Stauskas” LOLOLOLOLOL. He’s shooting 34% from the floor, 28% from behind the arc, and averages about 2 rebounds and 2 assists a game.

People talk about Embiid like he’s a gift from god. He may never play a game and if he does he fits with the 2 other 7 footers like oil and vinegar. People say Saric is going to be good…he averages 11.9 pts in 20 minutes of action in Euro league. He does seem to be a great shooter as he’s 50% from 3 and 89% foul shooter over 11 games. How is this team going to win games? A monkey could have picked Okafor and Nerlens. What’s Hinkie’s time frame for the disgrace he created? When will he bring in veterans to lead a team of young, average, talent.

LeSean & DeMarco

It’s important for RB’s to have a Le or De in front of their names as well as other 2 letter combination (JaMaal, LeVeon). Why don’t these guys just shut up? I can’t say it better than Herm in the clip below. I really respect when people get animated to prove their point they are passionate about.

Players today don’t understand that it takes a team effort to win football games. What LeSean and DeMarco are doing is causing distractions. Teams with distractions rarely play better. These guys keep thinking about themselves instead of the team. That’s what losers do. Chip is partly to blame for this as well.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:41:16-04:00December 11th, 2015|Celeb|3 Comments

This Comic Stirs a Discussion on Reddit

When I read this comic, I shook my head and agreed with its message.

Fast forward to comments people left and I understand other perspectives on this.

For some, the things that character is shown doing are exactly what they want out of life. There’s no need to belittle those life choices to make a greater point.
The message shouldn’t be, “don’t work 40 hours a week and get a mortgage,” it should be, “be honest about what you want and pursue it fervently, regardless of how mundane a dime-a-dozen internet illustrator thinks it is.”
My father worked hard, provided a good roof over our heads, and made sure he was involved in our lives and we all went to college. He never got to write the novel, or be the ski instructor, or be on Ophrah. But he has kids who love him, grand kids in his life, and a nice house that is full of love. And he can look at his good relationship with his wife and kids, and realize that career stability helped a lot with that.
This old canard.
“Be a flighty nobody who travels until they are 30 and studies a passion, not a skill. Then when all your peers have enough money and stability to handwave problems away and take exciting vacations and language classes and all sorts of cool stuff, tremble in fear every time rent comes due. On your death bed, realize that what you did because of an internet comic is also remarkably average, and that no one cares or is impressed, including you.”

The boomers are full of moronic advice for Millenials, but you can go too far the other way too. ‘Check off boxes’… like a bucket list?

The guy who wrote this is just as dazed and confused and bored as everyone else their age.
Don’t take a safe, relaxing vacation. Be a non-conformist and take your family somewhere really dangerous!

My Opinion

People miss the point of a comic like this. It’s drawing attention to a standard life. It’s not saying whether it’s right or wrong. It’s pointing out that there are other ways to go through life than the way you are told to do it. For some people it’s fine. Others look at life differently and I like this comic’s approach.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-10T11:59:45-05:00December 10th, 2015|My Brain|1 Comment

South Park is the Smartest Show on TV

To start off, I’d like to write that I haven’t seen most of the shows on TV so this is only a headline. I also haven’t been present through 19 seasons of South Park but my feeling are the show has evolved greatly in nearly 2 decades.

South Park is raising the bar on a comedy series. The episodes are integrating with each other and sending powerful messages you aren’t finding in other “good” comedies like the Big Bang which attracts millions of viewers. South Park, and this is once again without a huge understanding of South Park, gets the short end of the stick for it’s stereotypical crude humor and volatile views. I just finished watching the final episode of season 19 and I was blown away. As much as the South Park guys dislike the Seth MacFarlane and Family Guy, I still feel that early Family Guy (season 4 is about the cut off), is funnier, not more powerful.

South Park Season 19

You broke the rules, rules, rules.

First off, the season started with the introduction of PC principal and Tom Brady and who “broke the rules”. If you aren’t making fun of the NFL, what kind of a show are you? The season ended with an attack on ads, the glorification of gun control, PC, gentrification, and how society acts as a whole.

I took a few screenshots to try to give you an idea. Notice I would have to re-watch the entire series, take notes, and then point out all of the truths that Trey Parker and Matt Stone point out to really do a good job. Trey Parker is one of the funniest guys on the planet. He is the voice of Cartman, Stan, Randy, and Mr. Garrison (also fan favorite City Wok guy). Matt Stone is Kyle, Kenny, and Butters.

PC Principal

PC Principal kicks computer ass

PC Principal hangs out with white, male frat guys who define PC. This is ironic, because all they do is get drunk and try to bang chicks (fairly). PC means everyone is treated equally which often leads to certain people being treated unfairly. PC Principal has much strength in today’s society. The blue “blood” coming from the gentlemen’s head shows he is on the Ad side.

Gun Control

Jimbo sells Grandma a gun

At one point of the show, Jimbo is selling a grandmother a gun and says, “If the safety is on, you’re good as gone.” South Park is showing people feel safer with a weapon. However, it’s much more dangerous as they point out in further scenes. Guns are taking on a different perspective in our culture because anyone can have one, which makes you think that you need one.

The Realism of South Park

Their scenes are so on point that what is happening in the cartoon, is actually happening on Earth. Notice Randy is getting an ad as he surfs the net and South Park does an incredible job replicating realism. Randy during this entire season was in favor of the Whole Foods until gentrification that comes along with it. He comes to realize that he can’t afford to live in the gentrified area and starts to take matters into his own hands. I’d have to re-watch all his scenes because I get lost in his humor that I forget he plays a role.

This family scene

How families feel.

“I love you guys.”

“I love you too, Dad. We just want to know what’s going on with you.”

This scene defined the way that some families feel. The guns show how unnecessary they are as this scene comes to a climax with the entire family realizing they need to be better people to each other. The grandfather never stirs at this action.

Maybe in this town people need to communicate more. Care about each other.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-10T00:13:40-05:00December 10th, 2015|Tv|0 Comments

The All Important Law of Human Conduct

I hope this post isn’t coming across as preachy but I find the info on point so I wanted to share.

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends an constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble. The law is this: Always make the other person feel important. John Dewey, as we have already noted, said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature; and William James said: “The deepest principal in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”

You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact. You want recognition of your true worth. You want a feeling that you are important in your little world. You don’t want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation.

The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.

Reviews – “Win Friends”…was published in 1937

“It changed my life” – Warren Buffet

“The most successful self-help book of all time… Carnegie has never seemed more relevant” – The Times

“It’s helped me immeasurably in life. I think everyone should read it” Jenny Colgan, Independent on Sunday

“a no-nonsense guide to being a better person…an easy-to-read, practical guide” Spirit and Destiny

Where I Am

Frank Underwood studied this book and manipulates it.

I’m not even half finished the book but I learn a new thought with every chapter. It’s not the first self help book I’ve read but it’s easy to read and contains powerful ideas. There are times when you can sense the book’s thoughts working. Let me illustrate (the book uses this frequently):

I had a conversation with the WB Mason driver who delivers our water. Within 2 minutes of talking, he was telling me about his route and how he came from Marlton and how he knows the out skirts of the city and stays away from Center City.
The bartender at Fox and Hound gave Shee and I a bill for $42 dollars when it easily should have been $75. It started when I told her it was impressive you could carry 6 steins at a time.
I talked with a contractor in California about his copper gutters. I sent him a soldering iron that had a leak. He was an engineer in the Navy and ended up writing an email on the make up of the tool and how he fixed it. It was more impressive than what the manufacturer probably has.
The post I wrote about the stock option and all the fantasy football posts I write fit clearly in the italicized text above. It’s a realization of this is why I write those posts. It’s like, “trust me, you should listen to me. I’M A PEOPLE PERSON.”

A Final Thought

Al Pacino playing Michael from the Godfather. Have you seriously not seen this?

I only wrote a snippet about the book and left out some of the most important aspects. The basic principal is to engage the other person by talking about their interests. This gets dicey. There is a difference between honestly engaging and then engaging because you know how to engage. I’ve walked the line a few times when I’m involved in a conversation and I know I’m taking it too far for the circumstance. It’s a powerful tool to wield. It’s also another reason why I hate sharing info in blogs because people know what I know as I know it.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-09T13:15:21-05:00December 9th, 2015|My Life|1 Comment

Littering and… Smoking the Reefer

I was talking to a German contact about my future trip to Europe and I told him I was flying into Amsterdam. His reply was, “don’t smoke too much pot. It’s legal there.”

I was aware that weed was legal in Amsterdam but this was coming from someone who I perceive as super straight edge and wouldn’t smoke pot. The idea that it’s legal makes it feel alright even though it’s wrong somewhere else.

I didn’t even contemplate smoking pot in Amsterdam because I don’t have a problem smoking pot in the USA. If I want to smoke, I can smoke. As I’ve gotten older though, I limit myself to smoking in party atmospheres and never as a day to day. Although I can’t say for certain, I don’t think I’d like to smoke daily even if I were in Amsterdam.

Sloan Kettering is a cancer center for those wondering. Johns Hopkins a prestigious medical school in Baltimore.

This is coming from someone who used to blaze that shit everyday with Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering in college. Now that I feel like I’m more of a professional (lol), I actually prefer to be straight headed because I accomplish more. I feel like I can remember what I just thought about 2 seconds ago instead of spacing out because I just hit a j in the parking lot.

It’s only a stigma that you’re made to feel bad about smoking because our Gov’t doesn’t want a bunch of space cadets driving automobiles around. I completely agree with this. Weed effects your decision making process. It also can bring about thoughts you would have never thought about otherwise. Pros and cons just like everything else.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-08T12:19:22-05:00December 8th, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments

The TAXI Short

You can read this post I published in July to get a better understanding of my thinking.

I know most people won’t remember or read the past post so I’ll summarize, the stock TAXI is a bank that finances taxi medallions. With Uber looming, the value of the medallion should decrease. In some parts like Chicago, medallions that were thought to be worth half a million, are only a quarter of a million street value. This means that TAXI is financing an asset that is depreciating which is not good for anyone involved. Imagine buying a car for $50,000 and it being worth $25,000 a few months later. The bank still wants their money but the asset is worth far less which leads to people not paying back the loan.

I ended up buying 5 put options valued at $.70 (each contract is 100 shares so the total sale was $350) and sold them today for $1.40 (roughly $700) in 2 months time making me about 90% on the investment (once fees are considered). Taxi dropped by 12% today which made all of this possible. I’m sure I wouldn’t be writing this post if I had lost the entire investment. This is the first time I’ve made money on an option play so it’s good to know that my sound logic could actually be executed for some profit. Now if I weren’t such a pussy only willing to risk $350 dollars…

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-07T14:40:17-05:00December 7th, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments