We Don't Walk Slow

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Good Morning

I’ve had these blisters on my feet since my last long run and I finally popped them yesterday. I bought this gold bond to help in the healing process and I put it on in the morning before I got dressed. So I applied the cream, got dressed and then went to the bathroom to put my contacts in. I washed my hands and then put the contact in my eye. There must have been residue left over from the cream on my hand because it burned my eyes so badly that I was practically crying. Worst eye pain I’ve had in a long time. So now I’m wearing my glasses because I’m scared to put the contacts back in. I’ve always felt like nerd wearing glasses throughout middle and high school (which is why I never wore them) but at this stage of my life, I have overcome that fear of looking like a nerd (I can hear the shee in the background saying I still am). As I’ve gotten older, things like being accepted and liked, which still mean something, are less and less of an influence. I still prefer to fit in compared to being the outcast but how someone views me with glasses or without is no longer on my radar. I guess you could say my self esteem has improved over the course of my life to the point that I go into most situations without much thought other than how to make the best of it. My basic outlook lately is people care more about themselves and how they come off, then what they think of you.

While I was driving into work today the radio was playing some awesome songs at one point. They rocked Hey, Hey, What Can I Do by Led Zeppelin, Kid Charlemagne by Steely Dan, Horse with No Name by America, and then Sugar Magnolia by the Grateful Dead. Wmgk isn’t playing that good of music and Sirius once again will one up FM. I’m going to go into another music playing rant. Two competitors to Sirius radio are Ipod’s and Pandora, neither of which in my mind are competitors. Ipods only play music that you download. So if you want to be legal about it, you are paying money for songs to upload which will obviously cost way more than any subscription to satellite radio and limit the amount of songs you listen to. The illegal method is probably more preferred but you are still listening to songs that you choose. When I listen to the radio I want someone else to do the selection for me. If I pick my own songs, most likely I’m going to pick songs that I know are good and never expand into other areas of music. With Sirius I have plenty of genres to choose from and many different artists with many different songs being played. To knock Pandora down is simple too because once you listen to an artist’s station for more than a couple hours they keep playing the same tracks. Not to mention some of their taste in music is awful. You can’t compare Sirius to FM either because FM has commercials and only peasants will put up listening to commercials. I’m invested in their stock and have been watching it rise and once they report earnings for this upcoming quarter and the stock jumps to $1.50, just know that I told you so. I’m actually going to re position myself in the market for what I consider to be tumultuous times in the future.

By Tom Stortz|2010-08-11T16:05:13-04:00April 28th, 2010|My Brain, My Life|2 Comments

Lightning in a Jar

I found this interesting.

If you could fit the entire population of the world into a village consisting of 100 people, maintaining the proportions of all the people living on Earth, that village would consist of:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 Americans (North, Central, and South)
8 Africans

There would be:
52 women and 48 men
30 Caucasians and 70 non-Caucasians
30 Christians and 70 non-Christians
89 Heterosexuals and 11 homosexuals

6 people would possess 59% of the wealth and they would all come from the USA
80 would live in poverty
70 would be illiterate
50 would suffer from hunger and malnutrition
1 would be dying
1 would be being born
1 would own a computer
1 (yes, only one) would have a university degree

If you woke up this morning in good health, you have more luck than one million people, who won’t live through the week.

If you have never experienced the horror of war, the solitude of prison, the pain of torture, were not close to death from starvation, then you are better off than 500 million people.

If you have a full fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are wealthier than 75% of the world’s population.

If you currently have money in the bank, in your wallet and a few coins in your purse, you are one of the 8 of the privileged few amongst the 100 people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married, you’re a rare individual

If someone sent you this message, you’re extremely lucky, because someone is thinking of you and because you don’t comprise one of those 2 billion who can’t read.

And So:
Work like you don’t need the money
Love like nobody has ever hurt you
Dance like nobody is watching
Sing like nobody is listening
Live as if this was paradise on Earth

By Tom Stortz|2010-08-11T16:04:41-04:00April 27th, 2010|My Brain|4 Comments

Tidbits.

I bought a giant bag of peanut M & M’s from Sam’s club. I’m sure everyone is familiar with Sam’s but they give you big portions for less money. So I have this giant bag in my car that I just keep on my front seat and take from whenever I’m in between packs of BBQ sunflower seeds. The bag has one of these obnoxious, hard to close ziplocks where if you don’t meet them exactly right they only false close. This isn’t foreshadowing in anyway. So I have a lot of shit in my car and I have to move the M&M’s to back. Rather than put them on the back seat where they are liable to slide around, I put them in between the passenger seat and the back seat. The next day while slamming on the brakes for an inept driver, I hear some rattling and remember that I left the M & M’s back there. So I reach back from the driver seat and lift the bag only to have it shifted to the upside down position and a ridiculous amount come pouring out. I hear them sliding underneath seat and I see them all over the floor. At this point I’m outraged but remember the scene from Tommy Boy.

Richard – “Oh that sounds good: melted chocolate inside the dash. That really ups the resale value
Tommy – “I think you’ll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell. ‘Surprised you didn’t know that'”
Richard – “I think your brain has a thick candy shell”
Tommy – “Your… Your brain has the shell on it.”
Richard- “Are you talking?”
Tommy – “Shut up Richard.”

So now my car has so much random stuff under the seats that I don’t even care at this point. Some people make such a big deal about keeping their car clean and I understand that completely but when the car’s a leaser and you know you are going to give it back, I just don’t have the same appreciation. I feel that same way about scratches, dings and dents. I have this huge stain on my floor mat because I had a Gatorade bottle and didn’t screw the cap on exactly right and it leaked all over. You do see the root of the problem though. The manufacture’s are not idiot proofing their products. You can actually screw on that Gatorade cap so you think it’s tight but it’s just on another set of grooves. When I turned in my last car I had 2,000+ dollars worth of damage for retarded things. I accidentally slashed the leather of the front seat by slamming my key through it. I’d consider buying but that would make me treat it more like shit because now I know I’m stuck with it and whatever I do to it I will just have to live with. I should really just drive a Honder.

I made a Tommy Boy reference and it’s funny how the stories are somewhat similar. I’m Tom, he’s Tommy. We both are set to follow in the family business. That’s really about it. My business isn’t about to go under and my Dad isn’t marrying a smoking hot Milf with a “son” whose really her lover. It’s just a good movie and I thought worth mentioning. This is one of the only movies I thought David Spade was good in. I’m actually going on a sales trip this week and I always think about this movie and the similarities.

Just to add some filler in a non organized manner. I can’t recommend Gang’s of New York because other than Daniel Day Lewis the movie wasn’t very good. I made some money on my June $1 SIRI calls but am down on my May $5 C calls which didn’t turn out so well. Still 3+ weeks til expiration so I have my fingers crossed. I’m gonna read the Hunter S. Thompson Biography and see what I need to do to learn how to lead an more exciting life. I also haven’t run in 3 days due to bad feet and will look to get one more good long run in before Sunday. I’ll throw in some shorter distances but nothing to major at this point. I’m feeling pretty good though and look forward to things to come.

By Tom Stortz|2010-04-27T01:02:03-04:00April 27th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Weak Weekend

I feel like an old man. My hand still is bothering me from last weekend. My feet have these blisters on them that doesn’t allow me to put full pressure on my toes. I have a cut on my hand from nicking it against a grinding wheel. I really am just falling apart. Add all that to a pretty regular weekend and here I am with nothing to write about. The beer pong table had some minor adjustments made to it and hopefully in the next few weeks we will paint it and start putting it to use. Softball was uneventful in a loss to a team of the elderly. My only point of interest was Chad not tagging up properly. He can say whatever he wants for his reasoning in hesitating but if you have a throw coming in from left field and a girl is catching, once you make your move home I don’t think you should be looking back.

Yesterday I literally did nothing but watch TV and did some cleaning up. First I watched a documentary on HBO about a Collins – Resto fight. Basically an underdog’s corner took the padding out of his gloves and this allowed him to beat Collins and also end his career by damaging his iris, which in turn led him to suicide. Then there was all this controversy on who did what to the gloves. Then I watched the Jack Kevorkian biopic on HBO yesterday. It was entertaining but nothing worth raving about. Then watched the Hunted with Tommy Lee Jones and Benecio Del Toro which was light on plot but big on action to combine for a ho-hum movie. Then started Gangs of New York but I had to quit halfway through because it was a bit slow. I dvr’d it so maybe I’ll finish it tonight. Not too much going on honestly.

I only have one point of interest that I can’t find information on anywhere. Amongst me and my friends I say that professional athletes, particularly bball and football, can’t run under 5 minute miles. This comes as amazement to my friends who think that this shouldn’t be too tough of a task for someone who is in as good condition as these guys. I absolutely believe that these people are in top shape but a mile is a long enough race that even fast people can get tired. I’d be curious to know what times people out there think guys like Chris Paul and DeSean Jackson would run in the mile?

Also, the shee and wagon tell me that this blog is going downhill. If I spent my life taking advice from these high minded intellectuals…

By Tom Stortz|2010-04-26T08:46:31-04:00April 26th, 2010|My Brain|3 Comments

Song

This is my new favorite song out right now. This is one where I listened to it for the first time and I was like what is this garbage but then it keeps being played and it grows on you.

By Tom Stortz|2010-04-23T09:38:11-04:00April 23rd, 2010|Music|0 Comments

Oh baby / No baby

All girls can be divided into 2 separate categories. Girls that make you say “oh baby” and girls that make you say “no baby”. Once again my thinking is multi-leveled which is why I even bother to put this up here anyhow. First off it rhymes. Things that rhyme seem to do better when it comes to catching on. Obviously the Oh baby’s are the hot mamacita’s who you’d like to have your baby. The dogs are the one’s who you don’t, hence the “no baby.” As I’ve gotten older the girls you become attracted too obviously age as you progress. I believe this is the norm and the sicko’s are the one’s that when they become older they still prefer girls of a younger generation. I really find the line quite ingenious and when hotties walk by you can say a testosterone driven “oh baby” and when the notties walk by you can say under your breath “oh no no no baby.”

I was making sales calls through Jersey today and there is one thing about that state that really bothers me. Full serve gasoline. Personally, I like pumping my own gas. I don’t want to have to tip some guy a buck to pump my gas. I know I’m not obligated to do it but I feel wrong if I don’t. The whole idea of having someone serve me makes me feel like we are in the days of slavery. I don’t want anyone ever waiting hand and foot on me unless it’s my wife or I’m paying them to. Jersey is an interesting state. I saw towns like Cherry Hill, Lumberton, Trenton, and Ewing. I guess they aren’t much different then our towns but something just felt amiss. I can’t really put my finger on it.

I also just bought a Garmin for this reason of traveling in unknown places. I was pretty impressed with it’s direction and it’s ability to accurately predict timing. I had one snafu (situation normal: all fucked up) but it bailed itself out when I made a wrong turn. I don’t know if they have a slogan for it but I would use “Garmin, I feel lost without it.” How good is that slogan and if they don’t use something like that I don’t know what to say because I think I could head up their marketing department. All in all thought I highly recommend the device if you are doing a lot of traveling in unfamiliar areas. Now I just have to make sure it doesn’t get stolen because it’s like a beacon for burglary.

By Tom Stortz|2010-04-23T12:29:21-04:00April 22nd, 2010|My Brain|0 Comments

Flipped, Turned Upside Down

So usually Wednesday Mornings are my Dunkin Doughnuts days. I get an everything bagel with cream cheese, 2 glazed doughnuts, and a medium coffee even though I don’t really drink coffee. However, last Friday the girl gave me a raisin bran bagel and I obviously wasn’t very happy. I didn’t get breakfast either Monday or Tuesday so I was already off my usual schedule but I decide to get a sausage, egg, and cheese from this place on Delaware ave. Now the people know who I am at this point and they know I always get a sausage, egg, and cheese, but today I wanted to throw them a curve ball. I ordered a Bacon, egg, and cheese and I think I blew the woman’s mind. She was in complete confusion and in complete malfunction mode. I’m not really sure what spurred this bizarre behavior from me but I wanted to swap things up a bit and keep things real. I actually thought the bacon was pretty good and maybe I’ll intertwine that with my normal meal. Aside from that though, everything is pretty normal. I lost 2 34 dollar heads up last night to some donk so I’m obviously not pleased about that and I went 2-2 on bball bets which netted me 2 dollars.

I put in a really good workout yesterday with 12 miles with all the miles between 6:10 and 6:30 which I thought was really good for the time being. I have a week and a half before broad street and with a run like that and still some more time to train I think race pace should clear 6 pretty easily. I feel pretty good today and hopefully this will continue into the weekend. Work has been busy and I have a lot of work to put in for the new website so I’ll have my hands full. Things are good though.

By Tom Stortz|2010-04-21T08:53:55-04:00April 21st, 2010|My Life, Sports|0 Comments

Worst things in life.

Almond Joys – the coconut and chocolate make me nauseous

Airplane Bathrooms – They are so confining and reek like shit. Plus the plane is always moving so you’re swaying when you piss and keeping it accurate is a challenge. I’ve never even tried to take a shit on an airplane. I just have that as a no-no on my list of things I’ll never do.

Old Dress Shoes – I don’t get dressed up that nice often enough so whenever I go to find my suits and dress shoes, they are always 3 sizes too small and wearing them becomes such a hassle. When you’re feet are scrunched up in the front of the shoes and then you start getting blisters from walking around. Nice events are always a drag.

People who sit on machines for more than 2 sets – The etiquette is use a machine and get off. If you want to do one set, take a minute break, then start again, that’s why I have 2 sets as the number. If you use a machine and then break for 5 minutes without getting off, I have a problem with you.

Grape Jolly Ranchers and Yellow Starbursts – I really don’t think I have to go in detail here as these are self explanatory. I actually think everything purple and yellow should be eliminated from retail.

Getting rickrolled – It’s not really so bad as much as it gives the person who got you such satisfaction. I’m skeptical of a lot of links and will always cursor over them before I click.

The yellow pages – The yellow pages is a complete fraud of a company. They will call you up, verify your listing and by doing that you are agreeing to letting them send you some material that they can charge you for if you don’t cancel the subscription. They are a scam and their book is obsolete and I hope the operation goes kaput.

Waking up when it’s cold outside and you are under a blanket. This really tops, at the bottom, my list because you are awake and ready to start the day except that it’s comfortable where you are and the outer world is frigid and mean. I hate getting in my car too to go to work because the heat always takes a couple minutes and those first few minutes are the worst part to every day. (This was more meaningful a few months ago).

By Tom Stortz|2010-08-11T16:06:42-04:00April 20th, 2010|My Brain, My Life|0 Comments

Keyboard

This is kind of a retarded post but I would like to give a few directions on how to move over a keyboard efficiently. What Ms. Defranco taught in keyboarding class in 7th grade was probably one of the most important classes you could have taken in your entire life. Learning the home row (if you don’t use the home row I can’t imagine you being efficient) and figuring out how to type without looking at the keys puts you notches above anyone who doesn’t use this method. This is extremely critical when it comes to data entry because you don’t want some slow-mo pecking away the keys wasting time on data entry when they should be doing more productive things. For my one friend who sends thousands of emails, don’t you think it would be wise to invest in a typing class so instead of the hours of emails you do, the time might be cut in half. Everyone always thinks that they are the fastest typist they have ever seen which goes along with the self inflating most people do to make themselves feel good. I watched my accountant work the number pad and until you watch this guy work the keys, you aren’t even close. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that most people probably type numbers with the keypad above the letters. Anyone who works with data entry and inputting prices all the time should have learned to use the keypad on the right. 3 fingers on 4,5,6 and work it around. I’m not the best person with a keyboard and I backspace a shit ton but being proficient is a major quality to have in the workforce. I’m not belittling you either if you don’t type right, it’s just something that I come across from time to time.

*Segway. I have fallen into a vortex of like behavior. I have just gotten tired. The looking forward to what is driving me down. There’s no off days like there were in school to look forward to. Exciting things for me are reading financial books, watching stocks, and playing poker, all of which can lead you into an insane asylum if you let them take over your life. I write this all the time but even if I had a ton of money I don’t even know what I’d change. It sounds great to say that I would party every night but I think I’m wearing down. I think I was awake all of 7 hours on Sunday. Woke up at 1, went to get some food and past out till 5. Plus I told some girl she was stupid which I would never say if I was sober. I’m just floundering around with no real purpose. I get caught up in the day to day and don’t step back to look at the big picture sometimes. Even when I do, I’m not sure what to look for.

By Tom Stortz|2010-04-20T00:20:52-04:00April 20th, 2010|My Brain|1 Comment

Beer Pong Table

The highlight of the weekend was the building of a beer pong table outside. Usually projects like this are talked about but never completed. Although not entirely finished, the framework was screwed down and legs were added. We ran out of batteries for the drill about 90% of the way done, so there are still a couple of screws to drill. The cost of the table was 78 dollars. We bought a 4×8 piece of plywood and got it cut so it was a 3×8, 4 2×4’s for the framing, and 4 4×4 for the legs. An electric saw was also needed and I happy to say that no one was injured in this process. I actually had the drill slip while I was drilling a nail and it missed Jon’s hand by about 3 inches but he wasn’t looking and didn’t even notice what had happened. It still needs to be painted and designed but all in all it was a job well done. Jill took some pictures of the process so I’ll put them up when she gives them to me. I have a couple from my phone that I can put up now.

We were transporting the lumber and had to have it exit the vehicle by opening up the glass plate. We were both a bit skeptical of the process but it ended up working fine.

Me looking like a tool while the guy was getting the 4×8 down. This is how I go out in public. I had no undershirt on and the the socks, sandals, mesh short combo is my look.

I won a nice chunk of change playing poker Saturday. I played 9 tournaments and lost 50 bucks so I decided to play a 215 heads up which I won and then I won a 4 person 115 dollar heads up. So I actually cashed out that money and hopefully my run will continue and not be effected by the cash out curse. I also have 60 dollars in my sports betting account which is amazing because I’ve only made one deposit in the last month for 60 bucks. That’s called stretching it out.

From the business front, I’m hoping that the website will be nearly finished by the end of this week so that’s one thing that should be good for business. Here’s a picture of my newly acquired business card. I think JC was a bit surprised to see that I appointed myself Vice President but it’s only a title. Another Monday to kick off the week, yee ha.

By Tom Stortz|2010-08-11T16:08:09-04:00April 19th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments