We Don't Walk Slow

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Andorra LA Fitness Entrance

This is a really strange situation but I just want to point out what I see on a day to day basis proving the human race is retarded. At the La Fitness that I go to they have a unique idea for an entrance. Basically the entrance splits off into two pointless curves that obviously will take you longer to get to the entrance. Amazingly, I see people actually go out of their way to take the curve. The fastest point from point A to point B is a straight line and people must have no concept of this. I know those trees I drew seem like great viewing pleasure but they are really just tiny shrubbery. I just can’t understand why anyone would not just take the straight line. It’s not like it’s too crowded and there are huge lines winding around LA Fitness. It just boggles my mind.

By Tom Stortz|2012-01-03T23:18:04-05:00January 3rd, 2012|My Brain|2 Comments

Storage War Episodes 1/3/12

New episode, Brandi’s First Time (yeah right), of Storage Wars aired tonight and it proved one thing for sure, the show is way better without Jarrod. Coming from a complete character perspective without the looks, Brandi has way more balls than Jarrod in the bidding process. The fact that she goes after units without backing down at all really worked in this episode. Unfortunately it didn’t work out for her considering she lost 2k on the locker but it was even more fun seeing her lose Jarrod’s money. Watching Barry puss down because he’s being “the selector” is sort of bizarre. He must be losing tons of money at these auctions but you’d think with all the fancy cars he drives, he wouldn’t care. The whole high fiving with Darrell and his son is really, well, gay. Dave Hester seems to have evaporated from the show. I feel like A&E told him to stop being such a villain because their audience is a bunch of stay at home mom’s and children. Still I thought the episode was enjoyable.

I also want to give A&E a huge thumbs up for getting that crappy Texas version off the air. Those characters were completely awful and the show flat out stunk. I’m happy to see they pulled the plug after only a couple episodes. The next episode, Hooray for Holly-Weird is starting to show an interesting dynamic that wasn’t apparent in earlier episodes. The fact that the show and the characters are growing, also means their businesses are growing. This means that they all have more capital expenditures and also an increase of pressure to come through at these auctions. I can’t tell how real this dynamic is because they could be making tens or even hundreds of thousands for the show which would pretty much negate any amount spent. Nevertheless, it’s still interesting. Another thing to notice is when Dave has 15,000 books, it might take him 10-20 years to sell them all. Seeing him act like it’s a gold mine is a little presumptuous. I liked seeing some new faces bid up the lockers as well. Barry seems to get taken on a ride every time. Watching Brandi and Jarrod fail is also sort of nice. I at least found this week’s episodes fun to watch.

Also if you haven’t read the comments on this post, they are really turning hilarious.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:15:58-04:00January 3rd, 2012|Tv|0 Comments

Holy New Year

I know it’s the 3rd of the month and I’ve yet to post which is not my usual schedule. I’m sure everyone is eagerly anticipating what I have to write about. Sadly I don’t have much to offer. I could list my new year’s resolutions or a recap of 2011 but that seems really cliche (I’ll probably do it later). There are also plenty of things I can comment on ranging from Katy Perry to Tim Tebow to the myriad of other pointless things society deems important. I think I’m just recovering from the end of 2011 and haven’t decided how I’m going to start 2012. New Years actually lived up to expectations which was smart to set low. We then got plastered on the day after heading down to Philly for the Mummers Day parade. Yesterday was pretty mild and today was the first day back at work which tended to drag. Believe it or not I’m actually happy to be back at work. My life without structure can get downward spiraling. I haven’t been to the gym in a few days and I feel like a dirt ball which can attribute to the somber mood. Fortunately time heals and I will get back to normal posting in the near term. I appreciate the checking in though and will hope to make rnningfool.com better in 2012.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:17:51-04:00January 3rd, 2012|My Life|0 Comments

The Haggard Captain

These last few days reminded me a lot of my college days. Back in college we had a group of 3 that we referred to as the Haggard Crew. Our now late leader was referred to as the captain, self proclaimed of course. In retrospect he definitely deserved the title as he was far more haggard than anyone I knew. He’d go days without showering, wear the same clothes day after day, and would get totally smashed after just a few drinks. This would leave him staggering around and making outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Aside from the getting drunk part I’m not really sure how haggard I was considering I came from white suburbia. The 3rd member, GRama, is still active but his haggard past has left him docile. I wouldn’t necessarily call these dark days but they certainly weren’t my most productive. We’d listen to music and argue about irrelevant topics but it seemed important at the time. Funny how 5+ years later and those times seem long forgotten.

I’ve been waking up at 10am, watching some Breaking Bad, going to the gym, and basically hanging out. Nothing of any importance. In some regard it’s a bit sad that I haven’t really changed much but I’m legitimately content. I live stress free, I’m healthy and in great physical shape, and I’m happy. Could I be happier? Perhaps but everyone’s version of happiness differs. Just because you think you want to live life this way doesn’t mean that someone else wants to live the same way. It’s weird though to have so much time to do virtually nothing. I feel like this would be what it’s like if I had millions of dollars in the bank. I’d probably have a tad more freedom but nothing major. I’m sure some people would give their left nut to live this care free but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. There’s nothing real exciting happening but at least I’m not doing anything stupid either. A constant trade-off.

The picture below should give you an idea of the carefree mentality. Don’t care about my hair. No undershirt to the zip hoodie. Ready to pop open a beer.

By Tom Stortz|2011-12-30T14:09:40-05:00December 30th, 2011|My Life|0 Comments

The Cup Holder

If you drive a car you are aware that the cup holder space is used for things other than a cup holder. I tend to store my change, my ez pass, receipts, and other everyday objects there. It’s a nice area because there is no cover and easy access to whatever you need. However, there is one thing that really pisses me off and that’s when I have a pen in there. A writing device is an essential object to have in a car. You never know when you are going to need to write something down. Problem is that the pen is long and skinny and there’s not a real good spot to place this. Hence, I usually use the cup holder. This proves to be major trouble when you are actually trying to put a cup in the cup holder. You can’t have the pen poking a hole in the cup and this is the way the pen tends to lie. With that in mind I don’t know where to put a pen. I also think it’s really annoying when the car manufacturers make the cup holder really small and it doesn’t fit over sized drinks. Too big is bad too because you can’t have your drinks shifting around. How is something so simple so complicated.

By Tom Stortz|2011-12-29T11:22:57-05:00December 29th, 2011|My Brain|6 Comments

Infiltrate the Contact Case Market

CVS is being held hostage by their vendors or they are just completely bending their customers over. I left my contact case at my parents and it was the last one I had. I usually don’t think twice about where my contact case is because I used to have a plethora of back ups but as we sit here today I have a mere one. This left me in a bad spot because without a case you really don’t have anywhere to put your contacts. I filled up a cup one night but that’s such a waste of solution. So I went to CVS to buy a case expecting there to be a big bin of cases where I could select one for 50 cents. Instead I came across two options a single case for $3.69 or a double for $5.49. I was bewildered. There was no way that a mere contact case should cost this much. I opted for buying a travel kit that came with a case (and a bottle of solution) for $3.50. Now I understand supply and demand and when you need a contact case you NEED a contact case. They do have the ability to charge whatever they want but it’s still a complete rip off for a case that probably costs less than 5 cents to manufacture. Throw in some shipping, some packaging and it’s going on the shelf for a quarter tops. That’s a profit margin of 1400%. Not cool.

By Tom Stortz|2011-12-28T10:56:07-05:00December 28th, 2011|My Brain|0 Comments

What LIES Within

I’ve been watching Breaking Bad for the past couple days and there is a fantastic secret that Walter White keeps hidden. It’s especially noticeable in his interaction with is wife. She’s constantly asking him to tell the truth and he’s constantly lying. She KNOWS he’s lying and he still keeps up the charade. The great thing about this is that almost everyone lies to some degree. Walter is keeping the secret that he’s selling meth but most people are usually on a much smaller scale. I abuse vicodin, I drink daily, I shoot H, I snort coke, I cheat on my significant other. You wouldn’t announce to the world that you do these things and you would most likely keep them to yourself. Everybody has something that their ashamed to admit. To be a complete open book is a hard thing to do. I feel religion (and society) asks you to be a perfect individual but the bottom line is that no one is. We all have our vices. This particular show does a wonderful job of displaying this interaction and making it clear to the 3rd party exactly what it looks like and how the people are feeling about it. Empathy is a great tool for making something stick. Strange entry I know but this just struck me as well done.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:17:44-04:00December 27th, 2011|My Brain|0 Comments

Deja Goo

2 days ago I went to WaWa to buy more normal breakfast which consists of a breakfast sandwich, a 16oz Snapple Iced Tea, a bag of Smartfood, and one 16oz coffee. I usually eat that and then wait an hour or so before I go to the gym. Life is tough when you have nothing to do. Anyway I did the same WaWa breakfast today and when you don’t change anything, you run into the same circumstances. Everything usually goes into a bag but I hold the coffee. When I enter my car and go to sit down it’s difficult to do this lightly so the coffee starts shooting out of the top lid on a rough landing. When this happens you never no where the coffee goes. I feel like Ben Stroehmann in Something About Mary. This is one of those little things that make me so mad. Another thing that pisses me off is when I go to close the front door and a gust of wind or maybe even the wind tunnel prevents the door from closing on the first slam. That really irritates me. I’m just taking life’s problems one step at a time. These would typically be called white people problems to me but recently there was a person (not white) who said they were going to create a blog called “first world problems.” This never struck me as accurate.

In other news, a big game between Atlanta and New Orleans will determine my fantasy football results. I played in 5 leagues this year totaling $150 in league fees. I failed to make the playoffs in 2 leagues, got to the playoffs and was eliminated in the first round in one, and made 2 championship games. I’m up 40 points going against Sproles and Graham in a half point PPR. I think I should win and that would win me 400 for the league (350 for the title and 50 for the regular season winner). The other league I’m up 10 points against Kasey, White, and Gonzalez and unless something unusual happens, I will be losing. This will net me 85 bucks (60 for 2nd and 25 for most points scored). With a 200+% return, I’d consider that a good season.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:18:07-04:00December 26th, 2011|My Life|0 Comments

Holiday Road

A Lindsay Buckingham song title by the way. I spent holiday’s with the family and we had a fine time together. We all spent some quality time watching the first season of Breaking Bad which I thought was pretty good. Things seem to happen very slowly but at least it’s always interesting. Sam and I played probably between 25-50 games of ping pong which I enjoy. We put on some tunes and just play. He beats me most of the time but the games are getting tighter and with more play I still have plenty of room to improve, as does he. Without a real backhand slam I let too many points continue and I still don’t have the consistency of finding the table but we both started making better shots as the games went on. Christmas was simple but I think that’s the way we like it. As we get older I’m starting to feel more and more aware that these times of us getting together aren’t going to last forever. Jeff missed his first Christmas this year which didn’t allow our family to be fully together. It’s a weird feeling. Plus it seems like everyone is getting engaged or talking about it which just puts additional pressure. The glaring eyes of society are constantly judging asking “when’s it your turn?” Aside from that though things are really good. I’m happy, healthy, and glad to get some time off to relax. Life is good.

By Tom Stortz|2011-12-25T21:03:00-05:00December 25th, 2011|My Life|0 Comments

The Sweat Towel

I sweat more than the average human being. I attribute this to the fact that I must be working harder than everyone else. Or that I consume massive quantities of beer and my body must find any possible way of releasing these toxins. This being the case, when I go to the gym I bring a towel with me to clean off any sweat I leave behind. Steve always questions the merits of the sweat towel and we had a bit of a discussion yesterday that left me a bit confused. Here’s my logic behind the correct ways of dealing with body sweat at the gym.

If you are working out hard you are going to produce some sweat. If I sit on a machine and leave some ass sweat behind I will usually just wipe it off with the sweat towel. No spray or anything just not leaving behind any trail. We have to be reasonable and understand that hundreds of people use these machines each day and it’s not practical to clean off every machine you use in a gym session. Each machine isn’t going to be 100% clean for every use. This is why I feel that a wipe down with a sweat towel suffices. It’s not like you’re eating dinner off the seat. Your sitting on it with layers of clothes blocking you from any remnants left by other gym goers. Now this is where it gets tricky. After wiping down the machines that my ass just left sweat from, can I use the sweat towel on anything but a seat? I answer yes and I do. If I go running on a treadmill and start breaking a huge sweat I will without even thinking use the towel. Is it hygienic to be using a towel on your face that you just used to wipe down ass sweat from? Probably not but I don’t really care. The alternative is leaving huge puddles of sweat all over the treadmill.

I can’t really think of a better alternative besides cleaning each machine individually after use with the gym’s paper towels and saving the towel specifically for my head. This honestly would become quite a nuisance and I don’t even consider it. And just an FYI, my sweat towel gets cleaned after every use. When I write about it like this is comes across as extremely disgusting, disturbing, and you probably ask what’s wrong with me but it doesn’t really bother me that much. I rarely get sick and I wouldn’t say I’m a germaphobe but I try to keep myself away from bacteria and using my towel on machines and myself just doesn’t feel gross. Am I wrong here?

By Tom Stortz|2011-12-24T11:49:22-05:00December 24th, 2011|My Brain|1 Comment