We Don't Walk Slow

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Know what you’re doing

If I ran for President, “know what you’re doing” would be my campaign slogan. When creating a campaign slogan I assume you’d want it to be extremely broad so that everyone can feel and get behind the slogan. This particular slogan applies to everyone I know. My goal would be to get people to think before they act. When things don’t work out, I feel like the majority of the time it’s because they are being stupid. Now the problem lies with the fact that everyone most likely thinks they know what they are doing or else you’d hope they wouldn’t be doing it. Let’s take some for instances:

Anyone who is swimming in debt most likely doesn’t know what they’re doing. If you don’t have any money, you shouldn’t be spending money. Know what you’re doing.

If you don’t have any money, you shouldn’t be raising a family with the idea that the gov’t will pay for your family. Know what you’re doing.

If you weigh 300 lbs it’s probably not a good idea to continue snarfing down food and feeling sorry for yourself because you weight 300 lbs. Know what you’re doing.

Everybody loves to blame the gov’t (as do I) but our society is just as much to blame for being the huge fuck ups they are. If people were more proactive and we had leadership that could actually bring people together to achieve common goals, America might not be transforming into this pathetic debt wonder of the world. Let’s also not forget to mention our corrupt Gov’t and Wall Street who also need to “know what they’re doing.” Or better yet they know but they are content on screwing over the people for their own prosperity and greed.

I’m also well aware I’m one stupid person with one stupid opinion and the ability to achieve this is harder than something one blog post can solve. The masses are just stupid and if you can’t answer the question that is posed in this title, you probably are part of the stupid masses. Ask yourself, what do I bring to society? I can answer this by saying I supply various tools to contractors across the nation. A rather small contribution but it’s better than sitting on my ass eating McDonald’s and wondering what went wrong. I don’t know what stems these posts from time to time but things just don’t seem to be getting better and this is just expressing frustration. Know what you’re doing at all times.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:27:53-04:00January 10th, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments

Watching a TV Series

Anyone else find it extremely difficult watching a TV series week to week? 7 day break for a half hour (or hour) of television? Not to mention that each season is separated by months and month of inactivity. I noticed this especially with Californication last night when I couldn’t remember who the hell Karen’s new husband was. I know I’ve seen him before somewhere in the previous 4 seasons but I couldn’t remember him or just about any of the other plots in past seasons. Which brings me to the point that the best way to watch TV is through DVD’s all at once. I won’t even bother starting watching episodes of a show that’s new because I just wait for the reviews and decide if I want to watch in one shot. This worked splendid for Breaking Bad as I got to catch up on 3 seasons in a 7 day period and now am anxiously awaiting how I’m going to watch the 4th, plus I’m geared up for any new material. I also notice this in books too. I read all the Game of Thrones books and am waiting on the 6th of the series and I already forget what happened in the past 5 books. It just doesn’t make me want to take on anything new without hearing whether its worth it or not. I’m considering watching Shameless because I’ve heard people say it’s a good show. That varies greatly from trying to just pick up a show like Fox’s Alcatraz which I find mildly interesting but most likely won’t waste my time on a week to week basis. I think this just moves into the shift of 2012 of entertaining yourself in a more efficient process. I can’t be the only person to watch TV this way.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:27:39-04:00January 9th, 2012|Tv|0 Comments

When Giants Walked the Earth

I finished my Led Zeppelin biography, When Giants Walked the Earth by Mick Wall, and I promise this will be the last time any post focuses on Led Zeppelin. I can’t guarantee that I don’t reference them in the future but I’m sure there are people who find these posts “boring”. Compared to the Beatles biography I read a few months ago, this one blew me away. These guys were wilder, had bigger personalities, and just rocked harder. The story of how their music started, their immediate success, how big they got and then their eventual downfall was really an awesome read. Reading how the music was created on various albums in various years is just so fascinating when you are listening to it. You learn how Jimmy was the integral part to Led Zeppelin and how his attention to detail and tremendous talent created some of the best music ever created in the early years. Here’s an interesting quote by Chuck Klosterman about what people think about after listening to Zeppelin:

“Wow. I just realized something: This shit is perfect. In fact, this record is vastly superior to all other forms of music on the entire planet, so this is all I will ever listen to, all the time.”

He adds “And you do this for six days or six weeks or six years. This is your Zeppelin phase, and it has as much to do with your own personal psychology as it does with the way John Paul Jones played the organ on “Trampled Under Foot.” I’d say I’m going through my Zeppelin phase and he is 100% correct that I compare every other thing I’m listening to various Zeppelin songs. And you know what, hardly anything compares in sheer talent and rock and roll to Zeppelin. I will regret when this phase of my life ends.

By Tom Stortz|2012-01-10T00:07:55-05:00January 9th, 2012|Music|2 Comments

Then and Now – 90’s Themed

Courtney Peldon

Sam and I were watching Little Giants and were both thinking what some of the characters grew up to look like. We both were curious about that little cutie Debbie in the movie and Ow Ow what a fox she turned into. I didn’t really remember her being JTT’s girlfriend on Home Improvement but that’s what she is best known for. Other than that though she’s done a lot of crappy movies and TV shows. I feel like she’s probably a coke head.

Cole and Dylan Sprouse

Both were 7 in the movie Big Daddy and are 19 now. These little bastards grew up to be wealthy, wealthy individuals. They starred in the show the Suite Life of Zach and Cody from 2005 to 2008 and then the Suite Life on Deck from 2008 to 2011. These were some of Disney’s most popular shows and they were bringing in 40k per episode. Apparently they are heartthrobs among young girls. For some reason I just can’t think about them any other way than as Julian.

Brian Bonsall

I really hit a jack pot on this one. I had no idea Brian Bonsall was so interesting. Everyone remembers Preston from Blank Check and apparently he played Andy from Family Ties which I really never watched. He has some other roles in movies but retired from acting in 1995 to play in a band. Obviously from the picture he got himself in some trouble with the law. He’s had some DUI’s, assault, violating probation conditions, heavy drug and alcohol user, you typical bad boy. I really didn’t know any of this before I decided to choose Preston so it makes it all the better.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:15:45-04:00January 7th, 2012|Celeb|0 Comments

Shattered Dreams

+1 if you know that this post title is a song by Johnny Hates Jazz. Another point if you go to youtube and search for it and listen to one of the better songs from the 80’s. My last few posts have been topical but I’ll throw one in about my life because I’m sure everyone is so interested. This morning I was dreaming that I had really long hair like Jeff did during his “long hair” phase. This is somewhat ironic because I was getting my hair cut the next day. Next thing I know I was abruptly awoken by a glass shattering in the living room, hence shattered dreams. This was at about 8am which was pretty early but I managed to go to sleep at 12 or so Friday night. Why so early? Ck4, Nikkii and I went to the Fieldhouse at 6:30 and we were out of there by 10:30. I had 7 pints and a shot of Jameson in that 4 hour stretch. I put down another 3 beers when we got back and I called it a night. I actually felt great today. I know this sounds like a decent amount of alcohol but sadly my tolerance handled it no problem and I went to bed coherent.

Deciding to get a haircut I drove to Mario’s and was fortunate to get Nick with 4 people waiting for other barbers. I personally think Nick is the best because he never uses scissors. He gets it short enough on the sides and does a good job blending the top. It’s always hard describing how you want your hair cut. I usually tell him I want a 2 blade on the sides and the top to match. This seems to do the trick. After that I went home to see my parents and challenge Sam to some Ping-Pong. We played 11 games of which he won 8. I know that sounds lopsided but the games are closer than the record would dictate. We have some wild points and I think it’s the most fun I can have with no alcohol involved. My forehand slam is coming around I just need to work on the consistency of returning shots without going into the net. Unfortunately he is going back to school on the 15th so if anyone reads this and likes to play in the Philly area, I’m game.

The only other thing to document is that I ran 16:54 for 3 miles yesterday on the track. That’s the best time I’ve posted in years. I can’t really tell what’s different or why my times are dropping but I’m pretty satisfied. My goal will be to break 29 in the FrostBite 5 miler in February. I’ve been feeling pretty strong physically and see no reason why I should easily break that time. That’s all I got for now.

By Tom Stortz|2012-01-07T16:59:14-05:00January 7th, 2012|My Life|1 Comment

Think before using emoticons

For people who use emoticons, this is for you. The answer is YES, this is how I perceive you if you use :).

see more Failbook

By Tom Stortz|2012-01-06T13:37:56-05:00January 6th, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments

3 People I’d Have Lunch With

So I was watching Airborne the other day because Steve and I are aware it’s a complete classic from growing up in 90’s. If you aren’t familiar with this movie I wouldn’t say I highly recommend it but it definitely has its moments. Quick summary, a surfer guy from Cali moves to Ohio and falls for a girl while earning the respect of her brother in a rollerblade race down Devil’s Backbone. Anyway, they have a scene where Mitchell is talking with Nikki and the following conversation ensues.

Nikki: So, if you could have lunch with any three people in the entire world – alive, dead, fictitious, I don’t care. Who would it be?
Mitchell Goosen: Well, I’d have to say Tom Curren; greatest surfer in the world, now that would be cool. And, um, maybe Ghandi. Not for lunch though, he wouldn’t eat lunch.
Nikki: And the third one?
Mitchell Goosen: I’d have to say you.
Nikki: Me? You can have lunch with anyone in the world, and you would choose me.
Mitchell Goosen: You’re not just anyone. You’re special.

What a good pickup line. I wanted to give my 3 people I’d have lunch with though because I thought it would make for a good entry. I also want to point out that I could probably pick 100 people but this will get me started and maybe we’ll see a part 2 later.

Pete Rose

For those who might not know baseball here’s a quick Wiki bio: Rose, a switch hitter, is the all-time Major League leader in hits (4,256), games played (3,562), at-bats (14,053) and outs (10,328). He won three World Series rings, three batting titles, one Most Valuable Player Award, two Gold Gloves, the Rookie of the Year Award, and made 17 All-Star appearances at an unequaled five different positions (2B, LF, RF, 3B & 1B). He’s arguably the best baseball player to ever play the game. However being the best baseball player is only a small facet of what makes Pete Rose so interesting. As a manager, and possibly as a player, he bet on the games he was coaching. He claims to only have bet on his own team (I’m not sure if that makes it better) but I assume that would be more ethical as a manager. You’re getting paid to win so betting on your own team isn’t really doing anything completely unethical. The whole scenario though is fascinating because he’s admitted to it and the his wish is to be entered into baseball’s Hall of Fame. Considering he’s one of the best players ever, you can see why this omission might make a man depressed. I just feel that Pete has been through so much and to sit down and hear his side (assuming he’s telling the truth) would be fun. The feelings of someone who is one of the game’s best players can’t make the Hall because he bet on his own to team to win and he’s being paid for his team to win. It’s just a really great story.

Led Zeppelin

I’ve been reading a biography on them and this is just an amazing band. I’ve grown to love their music and I’d probably list them right next to the Beatles. Slightly ahead in terms of enjoying the music but not from musical significance. The band was formed in 1968 with Page being 24, Plant 20, Paul-Jones 22, and Bonham 20. This group of guys were able to produce the greatest rock and roll in their early twenties. The meticulous producing and vision of Page at such a young age is just remarkable. The music is unbelievable and the more I read and understand it, the more I appreciate their work. Not to mention all the stories these guys would have from their touring days. I just read one where they tied a naked girl up in a bed and put a shark and some other fish they caught that day up her snatch and ass. This would be one of those lunches that you would never want to end. Music 40 years later still can’t touch this group. They are Rock and Roll.

Forrest Gump

A fun one obviously. I feel like I know people who are like Forrest. They are retarded yet somehow everything pays out for them in spades. You can’t really tell if what they do is the right way but they seem to make it work. His story is already told in the movie so I wouldn’t need to talk to him about his life. I think it would be entertaining to grill him on serious questions like “what’s the purpose of life” or “where do humans fit in the universe” and see what he says. His answers would sound real dumb and simple but probably extremely profound. Like you’d sit there thinking about what he just said and wouldn’t be able to decide if he’s just a complete retard or he actually knows what he’s talking about. I hope this last sentence will sum up why I think he’d be interesting because I don’t think I’ve done a good job so far. When you look at successful people you just assume that they are intelligent and they had to work hard to get there. People usually just don’t get lucky to make it. But a story like Forrest Gump sort of shows that this isn’t always the case. A bit bizarre I know but I still think this makes some point.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:16:12-04:00January 6th, 2012|My Brain|2 Comments

One God to Rule Them All

I usually stay away from politics and religion because they strike chords with people. For whatever reason, these two topics tend to evoke feelings within people and give them ammo for why they might not like you. Another reason is because I’m pretty indifferent on both subjects and can’t really create informative posts because I lack interest. From the politics angle, the Presidential party will squander money on something that some people don’t believe in whether it’s a war or welfare. It’s impossible to make everyone happy and I’m pretty content that my single opinions won’t change what the mass government intends to do. So why should I spend much time caring? A passive, lazy approach perhaps but I just try to live my life the best I can and deal with whatever environment I’m surrounded by. Religion on the other hand drives me crazy. Not MY idea of religion, but other peoples and their attitudes towards sharing it.

I’m going to make this point very clear and I’m 100% right on the subject, you don’t know if God exists. If you haven’t seen him and you believe he’s a spirit in the sky, that’s perfectly fine but there’s no concrete, physical evidence that he’s up above. What annoys me is when people think they are right, like I do, on this subject. Religions need to believe that their beliefs are correct. So how can Hinduism, which believes in many gods, and Christianity, belief in one God, both be right? The answer is that neither of them are and that’s perfectly acceptable. People can co-exist believing in whatever made up story they want to if that’s going to make them a better person. If believing in someone watching over you who will judge your actions makes you live a healthier, productive, and more successful life, by all means. But don’t think that what you believe in is right and everyone else is wrong. You’re both right, or better yet, you’re both wrong. The constant talk of religion in our society is so old that I just get tired of hearing about it. What’s the point of religion? It’s to being people together in a common belief to achieve greater good as a society. It’s that simple. There isn’t any god unless you want there to be one.

I want to end this post with a quote that should give a better explanation than living – “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law”. Each of us has a purpose in life. That we are each put on Earth to achieve certain goals. And the purpose of our being on Earth is to discover what that destiny is and to follow it no matter what.

By Tom Stortz|2012-01-05T17:43:32-05:00January 5th, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments

Facebook Fail(ing)

Facebook launched in 2004 and has since grown to over 800 million users. On average, ervery 4 months of the last 2+ years, Facebook adds 100 million new users. I am going to predict that Facebook will begin its slow decline starting this year. As a Facebook user myself, I’m going to give my insight on what has changed in the past 7 years and why people will begin moving in other directions.

1. Facebook is going public. This will put pressure on the company to make profits and keep the stock price rising. In 2011, Facebook had 4.2 billion in revenue which was an 114% growth from the previous year. Where is the problem here? There are 800 million people and already practically everyone I know has an account. My mom, my aunt, my friends little brothers. Even my Dad for god sakes who doesn’t know the difference between Google and Internet Explorer. Where is this sustained growth going to come from especially when people are beginning to grow tired of it.

2. Facebook is the pre-requisite time waster. When you are bored and have nothing better to do, you check Facebook. The problem is that Facebook sucks. Status updates are nonsensical and pointless. Only creeps care what your relationship status is. The new Timeline is seriously the worst feature I’ve ever seen. It’s an explosion of information diarrhea that is more confusing than cool. Aside from stalking pictures, Facebook has no use if you have an IQ about 50.

3. Privacy and Viruses are rampant. So many morons are clicking on “how to win an Ipad” that it’s infesting viruses on your computer and you don’t even know it. Every time you type in your password, some hacker in Svengali is trying to steal your credit card information. Once they get your password they’ll change your picture to a slut with huge tits and messages all your friends that you’re giving blumpkins at midnight to the next person who responds. Nobody wants or needs that.

4. Who clicks on Facebook’s ads to bring it’s revenue? I avoid clicking on anything I’m unfamiliar with. I don’t want to meet single girls with double D’s who live next door. I don’t want to watch my Local News. I don’t want anything you’re offering. Who are the fucking boneheads who are keeping this thing afloat?

Don’t get me wrong, Facebook has great features with the ability to share pictures and keep in touch with people. There is no other current website, with as vast a database, out there like it. Google+ isn’t going to get there because Facebook is the first mover and has established such a dominance that the barriers of entry are huge. HOWEVER, Facebook’s day is fleeting. Users will start finding alternatives. Remember when all the kids in school had snap bracelets (1990) and then kids started to cut themselves and they were banned forever, something like that will happen shortly. I can’t really predict what egregious act will terrorize Facebook but I’m sure someone is plotting something. Nothing lasts forever and I think Facebook will soon lose its “cool”. I just hope it happens sooner rather than later.

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By Tom Stortz|2012-01-04T22:17:10-05:00January 4th, 2012|My Brain|1 Comment

Usain It Isn’t So

Usain Bolt and I have very little in common. He’s 6-6, from Jamaica, and effectively the fastest person on the planet. I’m not even the fastest person in this room. However, if you read this story, you’ll see that Usain likes to have fun and get bombed. I found this interesting because I know the effects of alcohol on the body. I got pretty wasted for 3 straight days and that pretty much set me back multiple days in exercise. I get dehydrated and then literally don’t feel like doing anything. I’m well aware that Usain and my exercising aren’t on the same planet but I still find it interesting that the fastest person in the world partakes in something that could potentially deter him from being his personal best. I just envision him and his coach having a conversation after this and his coach saying something to this effect, “You’re the fastest person alive and you have a chance of going down in the history books for years to come, why are you getting bombed and risking that?” I suppose this could be taking one day of drinking a bit overboard but I just have to imagine it takes everything perfect to be, well, perfect. Perfect being the fastest person of all time. Proper diet, proper work outs, proper everything. I suppose it’s just one day and it isn’t the significant but I’m happy to see that Usain (in Honey Badger form) “doesn’t give a shit.”

By Tom Stortz|2012-01-04T18:04:09-05:00January 4th, 2012|My Brain|1 Comment