We Don't Walk Slow

Kuratnick Invitational College Bowl Mania

I hardly know anything about college football but this ESPN bowl pick’em is a lot of fun. Kuratnick, who doesn’t get a lot of blog mentions but is an all around good guy, hosts a $25 pool in ESPN’s College Bowl Mania. Here is the link to the game home. You may have to search for the league: Kuratnick Invitational – PW: Bowden

You play by getting points to distribute known as confidence points. Your goal is to score the most points as possible and you do that by picking the winning team and giving them the most points. Meaning if you have 100% confidence that a certain team is going to win, you give them 35 points. Your 35 points pick is generally the team that is most favored to win the game. A game which would be called a pick em game, meaning no spread, would be one that you would use 1 confidence points. Every game is selected and given a certain amount of points. Every game that you win, you add up your points and the most total points wins the pool. This gives you a rooting interest in every single bowl game and turns boring bowl games into something watchable. It’s well worth the 25 dollars. The prize pool is winner take all and we had about 25 people last year. I finished a close 2nd and obviously intend to win this year. I’d like to see some people from the blog join up because the more the merrier.

By Tom Stortz|2013-12-12T13:26:03-05:00December 12th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

JJ Treats Nate While Javale Films

JKash pointed out this clip on Javale McGee’s instagram and we had a few questions after trying to decipher some conversation.

The situation is JJ Hickson is helping Nate Robinson with a muscle cramp while Javale McGee films. Here is the assumed dialogue.

Nate Robinson: ARRRGGGH!
JJ Hickson: “calm down eh dancer (inaudible).”
Nate: “Nahhh, let me standup, lemme standup, lemme standup.”
JJ: “I need to get some whole milk. We gotta rub, we gotta rub some milk on it.”
Nate: “Ah, fuck that, let me stand up.”
Javale McGee: “I wasn’t gonna eat dat shit.”
J.J.: “Shihh i am.”
Nate: “Turn that shit off.”

A few questions:
Why is the gallon of fruit punch hanging out? After viewing JaVale’s instagram, I noticed a #juglife which may have some answer.

Why is the starting center providing treatment to Nate Robinson when they travel with a training staff? Probably the most perplexing although I know the point the toes to the ceiling is the best method to relieving the pain of muscle cramps.

What kind of sock is Nate wearing?

Why does the plate of chicken pass so perfectly?

By Tom Stortz|2013-12-10T14:05:02-05:00December 10th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

Conshohocken Bbball

I went to watch the rec bball league in Conshy that a bunch of my friends play in. Before the game Ck4, Jeff, and I ate some wings at the Bayou in Manayunk and CK4 loaded up on a quantity of 30, 25 cent wings an hour before the game. I thought this may have slowed him down a bit but he wasn’t worried. The other team was wearing these bizarre camo shirts and looked kind of scrubbish but as I’ve learned many times over, you can’t judge a book by the cover. Bud opened the game with a quick deuce off a board and continued his hot start routine. I think the lead may have gotten to double digits but ended only up a few at the half on a rainbow 3 by some dweeb on the other team. Not much changed in the 2nd half as the team started strong and was hitting buckets. Things got interesting towards the end with some interesting play. With about a 1:30 left it was a tight game with our team up a few and they needed to foul 9 consecutive times to get to the penalty. Once this happened, we shot decent from the line but they weren’t missing anything. They tied the game up with 6 seconds remaining on some poor defense. Amazingly, they were in foul mode and fouled Corey with 2.8 seconds to play to send him to the line. He made both shots and the game ended. Very strange. Below is the box score from my efforts. I don’t claim 100% accuracy so don’t tell me about a block you had in the beginning of the game.

By Tom Stortz|2013-12-09T22:13:36-05:00December 9th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

HBO’s Sport in America: Our Defining Stories

I watched a tremendous program on HBO called Sport in America: Our Defining Stories. It debuted on Thanksgiving but I hadn’t heard anything about it until I accidentally stumbled across it this morning. I only planned on seeing what it was and ended up engrossed for 2 hours. Here is a quick video description.

What I took out of the program was how diverse America is. The stories that range from a wheelchair racer, a Jewish swimmer, a woman field goal kicker, a Mexican pitcher, and black boxer. No other country comes together like America and because of all this diversity and acceptance, we have risen to be the most dominant country in sports. You don’t see Caucasian athletes winning gold medals from China but you will find incredible Asian figure skaters. America is like a cornucopia of the best of everything sports related. It’s because to be the best, you have to be specialized. This is no secret but it’s why America has such a leg up on other countrys.

The diversity is America’s advantage. Our country is made up of so many different races that we have individuals who can excel at their passion. Since American stands for freedom and is the land of opportunity, it takes in the best of what the world has to offer with no exclusions. It’s truly and amazing ideal and the unbelievable results that are seen. Do you know that the US has won 2,653 Olympic medals? The next closest is the Soviet Union with 1,204. This is an incredible gap and should help explain why freedom should be universal. The real point to take out is that it this doesn’t only apply to sports. It’s ideas, thoughts, relationships, and everything else that a melting pot of people bring together. After watching this documentary I felt a stronger bond to what it’s like to be an American.

Other countries won’t have the celebrated background that this documentary shows. It’s titled, Sport in America. Other countries aren’t watching this documentary in their homeland because they have no interest. With the Olympic medal count as a barometer, our country has the most decorated sports history. This is the best sports history on the planet. So to be an American and watch how sports affect people’s lives, there is a real sense of nationalism that most documentary’s don’t bring out of me. I teared up at least 3 times during it and that is a complete rare event. The Boston fan and the cemetery and Brandi Chastain and the soccer penalty kick were two moments. I highly recommend you watch it and comment on this post and see if you felt the same way I do.

By Tom Stortz|2013-12-07T14:41:41-05:00December 7th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

My Goal Is To Beat Cecily Tynan

Cecily next to her doofus husband.

Cecily Tynan, the Philadelphia weather caster, was 43 when she won her age division last year competing in the Run the Bridge 10k. She was 51st overall with a time of 38:29 which averaged out to 6:10 miles. Sam sent me an email stating that I have to beat her. My response was a wimp out and said that I probably can’t and I might not even run. After running a few miles today, a different position has been taken.

A month ago I was gearing up for this 10k. I was routinely hitting 8-9 miles at paces that even though I didn’t time, I know were fast with some miles hitting under 6. I was feeling slim and for a race as short as 10k, I would have posted a fast time. Unfortunately I went against a cardinal rule and got myself injured. There was no one to blame this on but myself. I always say (at least to myself) that getting injured is the absolute worst thing you can do to yourself. If there is a part of your body that hurts, rest it, and come back when it feels better. I ignored this and a week previous to hurting my knee, I kept complaining that my knee hurt but I was still working out on it. Already tender, I played a football game and tweaked it to the point that it was seriously injured. I didn’t get an MRI, but did see a doctor and the diagnosis was that it was bruised or sprained and that rest was the best option. I’ve readily complied and have sat out 5 straight weeks of football and basketball. I’ve made various attempts to do some runs but each time I could feel my knee was ready to give way if I ever tried to do anything more than jog. With that back story in place, it brings upon today.

Today I went for a run and would say it was relatively painless. I still wasn’t able to hit full speed but I would guess I was hitting somewhere near 7 minute pace. All things considered, even if I’m not in my best shape, I still should have retained some of the strength I built from a month ago. With 4 more days rest until the race (I’m going to attempt a double header football game on Saturday which may exacerbate this situation), I should be ready to rock for the race. Which brings us to Cecily.

Under normal circumstances this isn’t even a consideration. My Broad St time beat her by over 2 minutes and it would only get wider in a 10k. However, I’m not at full strength and I have a feeling she doesn’t miss a beat. My goal would be 6:10 miles. If she runs faster than that, she’ll win. If I were a betting man, I’d probably give her a 75-25 edge. My ceiling is higher but my training is why behind. I hope I find her during the run and can start chatting her up. She’s obviously a dime at 44 and it would be fun to take her down at the finish line. I’d definitely make a picture or two. Hopefully it comes to that.

She didn’t have a shoe, an arm, or a shadow before I got done with her.

By Tom Stortz|2013-10-30T23:34:01-04:00October 30th, 2013|Photoshop, Running, Sports|1 Comment

Jimmy Connors 30 on 30 – This is What They Want

Airing at 8pm tonight, 10/29/13, was a tremendous, hour long production of the improbable Jimmy Connors US Open run of 1991. The run itself is entertaining but his attitude towards competing is what sets this type of story apart. Hearing Chuck Klosterman give his insight on Connor’s mindset is equally intriguing because he’s the only commentator that tries to dig into the real Jimmy. The program is only an hour long and if you ever have the time to watch it, I suggest you do even if you don’t like tennis to learn about a true competitor.

During his career he won eight Grand Slam singles titles and two Grand Slam doubles titles, and was a runner-up in seven Grand Slam singles finals, one Grand Slam doubles final and one Grand Slam mixed doubles final. He held the top ranking for a then-record 160 consecutive weeks from July 29, 1974 to August 22, 1977 and an additional eight times during his career for a total of 268 weeks. Notice the dates of his prime are late 70’s to mid 80’s. In 1991, Connor’s was 38 years old and recovering from wrist surgery. He decided to give the US Open one more shot and that tale is what the 30 on 30 documented. I won’t rehash all of the events but let’s just say it’s captivating. The video below demonstrates a point Connors had in the 4th round against Paul Haarhuis.

Notice the crowd reaction to the point. Jimmy was able to work the crowd like nobody else in tennis, ever. He made you feel like he needed you to win. He used everything he could to in his power to help him win. Whether it be stalling, arguing with the line judge, or pumping up the crowd, he knew what it took to obtain victory. His attitude in interviews is remarkable too because he basically says if you don’t like it, so what. His actions were authentic even though everything he did seemed staged. You don’t see this type of attitude out of players today like Nadal and Djokavic. Jimmy brought a one of a kind personality to tennis and it shows an incredibly powerful tool that most athletes or competitors don’t utilize today and that’s the ultimate desire to win with a fuck you attitude.

By Tom Stortz|2013-10-29T23:39:06-04:00October 29th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

Calvin Johnson vs Brandon Carr

Here are a few interesting quips.

Calvin Johnson vs Brandon Carr
Megatron finished with 14 catches and 329 yards on Sunday which was 7 yards behind the record. It was Brandon Carr’s job to cover Calvin Johnson. “We were confident in the gameplan,” Carr said. “I tried to go out there and battle like I said I would. Just got to lick my wounds so to speak and get ready for next week cause I’ll be back.” “That’s what he does; that’s what Dez (Bryant) does,” Carr said. “Those types of players have a knack for getting the ball and can jump out of the gym. His quarterback had a lot of confidence in him, hung the ball up to him and he came down with the catch. “It was challenging. Like I said, we never had an answer for him. That’s the guy they kept feeding and we just didn’t adjust quick enough to take him out of the game. They rode him all the way to victory. “I battled with him,” Carr said of Johnson. “He made some plays. It was a big task and I knew that heading into the game, but I wasn’t going to shy away from it. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t shy away from it again.”

Is Brandon Carr to blame for this monstrous game had by Calvin? Of course not. He’s 6 ft tall going up against a mammoth man at 6-5. Not only is he physically superior but he’s more talented in his football abilities. His speed, his jumping, his hand eye, his route running, and the idea that the offense knows where the ball is going makes this an unfair match. Still, how do the Cowboys let him go for 329? It’s one thing when a WR gets you for 100 yards it becomes a thought to double team him. When he hits 200 it’s apparent you are up against extreme talent or you need to change something to focus on this player. At 300 you aren’t understanding what is going on. Ryan Broyles isn’t going to beat you here. Brandon Pettigrew and Joseph Fauria can run 10 yards after the catch. But to let Calvin Johnson go for 329 is unheard of. I wanted to make this about Brandon Carr and how he failed but this one rides solely on the Dallas coaching staff. I bet Dez was desmerized by Calvin’s performance.

By Tom Stortz|2013-10-29T19:25:36-04:00October 29th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

Ck4 Lights It Up For 30!

I watched our rec team play a game of basketball last night and it was borderline post worthy. I know Ck4 eats this stuff up though so I figured I’d satisfy his appetite. My shop skills are still coming along as I wanted to change the jersey number to 4 but that wasn’t happening unless I spent the day doing it. Onward to the game.

The team started down 11-2 and I thought that it was going to be a long game. Jeff and Chad subbed in and it was an immediate spark plug. Jeff hit a J and then CK4 started unloading. Jumper. Jumper. Jumper. The other team didn’t know Ck4 was a shooter until he knocked a few down and even then he couldn’t be stopped. It was a scrappy game and the halftime score was only a few point difference. Ck4 started off the 2nd half with more knock down jumpers and had 2 assists in the game which I think was more impressive than the shooting performance. Jeff had a huge 3 point play to seal the game and the team ended up winning by 5+. It was a well played game but the storyline was Ck4. I don’t know how he doesn’t play for a year and then comes out guns a blazing. At the end of the game Baker was speechless and I think that was the correct response. There’s your moment of glory and recognition Ck4, see you on the golf course.

By Tom Stortz|2013-10-16T09:16:43-04:00October 16th, 2013|Sports|1 Comment

Take Me Home CBass

My fate lies in your leg

My football fate is all up to Janikowski tonight. I managed to get him in 4 fantasy leagues and he is my only hope of cashing in a FanDuel Tournament. What most would believe is going to be a blow out loss for the Raiders tonight is going to be watched intently by me every quarter. Football Sunday’s have 3 areas for me, betting, fantasy, and Fanduel. Each was equally interesting and I’ll break them down one by one. If you don’t like football, you won’t like this post.

I’ll start with the betting because it’s the easiest. I’m in a hole 100 bucks after two weeks of the NFL losing it all in week 1. This week I made 4 plays and managed to boost my wallet by 50 to try to keep digging out of a hole. My strategy is to never let the gambling get out of hand and to quit if it does. This is subjective of course, but bankroll management is my friend. This week I played the Pats, the Jets, and the Bears which were all winners and the Vikings took me down against the Brown surprise. My intuition for tonight tells me Denver is going to blow them out but it’s too many points to lay that I almost like Oakland in this game. I may take a small parlay on the Raiders and Over but I don’t like the game enough to make a real play on it.

I have a chance to go 4-0 in fantasy for the first time and I’d like to think it’s very likely. After getting stiffed against the 3 highest scoring QB’s in Evan’s 6 pt passing league, I have a shot to pick up my first W. I need McFadden and CBass to score 13 points in a half PPR which should happen. JKash laid an egg in Bake’s league as he got a taste of Cam Newton. I moved to 2-1 in Steve’s league against no competition this week and have a solid team moving forward. Finally, I need Knowshon and Cbass to score 15 to move to 2-1 in the league the Shee invited me to. Chance of having a 4-0 week? 80%.

I deposited in Fanduel for the first time and entered 2 contests. A 5 person, 25 dollar expert league and a 50 dollar, 888 person league. I’m currently sitting in last in the 5 person league with Knowshon and Cbass still to go but the guy in first is 40 points ahead with a great Stephen Hill pick. Where my money really lies though is in Cbass’s leg in the 888 dollar one. I’m sitting in 133 and the top 100 pay. Most people ahead of me are done with their players and even 10 points is enough to get me in the money which would make me 125. My guess is that < 10 is out of the money, 10 is 101, and anything more would get me there. I'd really like to win because Fanduel makes Sunday more entertaining and I'm not into depositing week in and week out. This week it was Joique and Bernard Pierce who were popular picks. I had a ton of cap for a stand out WR and went with BMarsh and that ended up costing me. Also the Bears over the Seahawks would have been the play.

Finally, a shout out to the Shee for most likely winning Week 3 of the Softerware Pick em. Naturally I invite a friend to a pool and the guy takes 2 of the first 3 weeks. Good luck getting invited next year…

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-23T08:34:45-04:00September 23rd, 2013|Sports|1 Comment

LT: The Life & Times

I watched LT: The Life & Times on Showtime and it made an impact. Lawrence wants his kids to know one thing about him and it’s, “LT was a bad motherfucker.” The man is considered by the likes of Bill Bellicheck and Bill Parcells as the “greatest defensive player of all time.” The inside scoop on his personal life was even more fascinating because he grew larger than life and then fell from such great heights. Sort of reminded me of OJ.

No one can take anything away from his football career. He went to the pro bowl 10 times, he was defensive player of the year 3 times, and was MVP during the 86′ season. His 132.5 sacks put him #9 on the all time sacks list. With all of these accolades, it’s not suprising that Lawrence was propelled into a world that he could never have dreamed of. After he retired in 93′ (he said he actually retired 3 years earlier when Parcells left the team), he turned to narcotics and began a bumpy ride.

“After his retirement, he began abusing drugs on a regular basis. He went through drug rehab twice in 1995, only to later be arrested twice over a three-year span for attempting to buy cocaine from undercover police officers. During this period, he lived almost exclusively in his home with white sheets covering his windows and only associated with other drug users. Taylor later said, “I had gotten really bad. I mean my place was almost like a crack house.”

Lawrence became addicted to golf which was the exact same thing that happened to OJ. He had a stint on the WWF when he wrestled Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania. He was the kind of guy who would do anything for money and I’d imagine it’s because he had expensive habits. There was a great interview by Jim Nance (I couldn’t get the footage on youtube) asking if Lawrence was in good health. He took offense to the question and responded that he was fine and then went on some wild man rant that could only have been said by someone using drugs. These were some really dark years for Lawrence and he went to rehab for 60 days and I think he’s been sober for 15 years now. Although, he did have an incident where he was looking to get a hooker and the one arrived said she was over 18 and she ended up being 16. He was charged with rape. Who can blame the guy for that? The documentary ended where it seemed like he got his life almost together but a guy like that can snap at anytime. He even adopted a 7 year old boy and golfs with him on the reg. If you have 2 hours I’d definitely recommend it.

LT’s Best Friend

Here’s a well acted scene by LT in Any Given Sunday

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T14:47:42-04:00September 21st, 2013|Sports|0 Comments