We Don't Walk Slow

LeSean Decoy and Body Armor

LeSean Decoy and his Body Armor

I walked into a local mart and I noticed this poster of LeSean McCoy advertising for a sports drink called BodyArmor. What I thought was funny about this advertisement was that there was no indication that LeSean played for the Eagles. He wasn’t wearing the Eagles uniform, only the colors, and it just had LeSean McCoy, #25, Philadelphia as his description. Then I started to take a closer look at the poster and I’m pretty sure that isn’t even LeSean. After some quick searching it looks like LeSean signed a one year deal with this company back in March of 12′. With this being 6 months after the contract expired, I’m curious if the company has the right to use a like individual to advertise for them without having to pay Shady. Either way I still think it’s smart by a company to hire professional athletes to endorse their drinks. Now a company has to reverse it and appeal to the common fat man and use Lard Ass from Stand By Me to endorse a milkshake. Who would drink this shit anyway?

This post reminded me of the movie Argo and how you have to be deceptive in getting past people who are looking for something. Argofuckyourself.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-18T16:33:21-04:00September 18th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

Chip and Andy

Blubber vs Brains

I was delighted last night watching the Eagles game. It was a breath of fresh air to see an offense actually score the ball compared to what Birds fans were accustomed to over the past 2 years. It’s exciting for not just Eagles fans but the entire NFL. I think it’s fair to say this style isn’t exactly foolproof considering how flat they were for the 2nd half but the bottom line is that the offense worked better than anything I’ve ever seen with Andy Reid. They were almost Patriot effective. Every play seemingly went for yards and it looked unstoppable. Shady, DeSean, and Vick are going to be tough to stop and Chip Kelly is the madman behind this experiment.

On the other side of the coin, Big Red held the Jags to a deuce and methodically beat a piss poor team with quality defense and spurts of offense. I think Alex Smith will fit Andy’s coaching because the cautious, boring approach appeals to both of them. Alex Smith averaged 8 yards per pass and Jamaal only got 16 carries for the game. This is typical Andy only giving your best player 16 chances to run the ball. Shady had 31 in case you weren’t counting. Dwayne Bowe, the Chiefs best wide out, was bored with 4 catches and 30 yards which is also typical Andy stats. Andy can win football games if you buy into his game plan and the Eagles stopped doing so the last two years. Will Andy be successful with the Chiefs? They already are only 1 win behind their total wins of last year so I’d say that’s a start.

Is it fair to compare Andy and Chip? No, it’s not. Chip has 1 game under his belt and even though it looked like something the league hasn’t seen, they will develop strategies to slow it down. The simple fake of the injury the Redskins were pulling was the best quick thought approach last night and it was effective in slowing down the game. You can be sure other teams will do better once they decide how they want to combat it. Chip’s style surprised the Skins and they were caught off guard the entire first half. Andy’s style proved successful due to all of those years with the Birds and he knows what it’s like to win football games. I think his method is tired (and tried) and true whereas Chips is explosive and volatile. Nevertheless, going from one to the next is like night and day. Should be a fun 2013 Eagles season and I’m sure the Chiefs will be better too.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-10T16:24:44-04:00September 10th, 2013|Sports|3 Comments

McKayla Maroney Should Represent All That’s Right In America

My jaw dropped when I saw this picture of McKayla Maroney. I tried to embed the tweet but it wouldn’t let me so I took a screen shot it and posted it which I’m sure is completely illegal. I know this girl is only 17 (4 months to go) but what a fine fox. You’re telling me that not only is she this damn attractive but she’s also THE 2ND BEST VAULTER IN THE WORLD! Looks and talent oozing out of her. She was a god send to this obese and pathetic society of Americans. She should represent our country in every single international matter. We are bombing Syria? Let McKayla inform them. I’d listen to anything she said intently. She is owning Twitter, Instagram, and Keek (like I watch her videos…) right now. I’m well aware this is probably creep status but at this point I don’t even care. This post has my best chance of getting views because this girl is on another level. Barstool refers to her as “bitchface” and I’ve considered boycotting the site because it’s so offensive to something so awesome. If she ran for office, I’d vote for her even if her policies were to exterminate all human beings. Mr & Mrs. Maroney, please have more children.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-05T13:34:24-04:00September 5th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

2013 Fantasy Football After-Draft Thoughts!

I finished my 4th draft tonight and wanted to share my thoughts. I don’t claim to be the best manager but I pay attention every week and have developed various strategies over the years. I want to start with a recap of the 4 drafts and ideas that used I throughout. My main resources are rotoworld (if you don’t use this you shouldn’t be playing), Nathan Zegura from CBS on Twitter, and random articles from Yahoo and Google. The new Yahoo interface isn’t a great improvement but it’s still better than ESPN.

Round 1 Draft Thoughts
The top 9 picks of the draft weren’t all that challenging because aside from A-Pete, all the RB’s have proven themselves to a certain extent. Wasting a pick on a QB at any of these picks is ludicrous. At 10 you jump into the Alfred Morris / Matt Forte area where things start becoming hazy. The obvious part of fantasy football is getting as many running backs who touch the ball as possible. I wouldn’t draft Alfred Morris because he doesn’t have break out speed and he has 1 season of proven football behind him. I’d rather chance Forte, Steven Jackson, or David Wilson who are all guaranteed to get carries on decent teams. Guys like Gore, MJD, and CJ2k and older backs who will see touches but you know what you are going to get from them (1,000 yards and 7 TDs). A guy like Steven Ridley isn’t someone I want because he’s had 1 breakout season. The season before he was primarily used as a goal line back. So with all of those guys being thrown out there, if I drafted late into the first round, I was coming back with an RB2 who I wasn’t ecstatic about (unless I could get Wilson).

Round 2
I see Calvin go at the end of Round 1 and I think that’s fine. I wouldn’t get him earlier because good RB’s are too hard to come by. I’m still not wasting my QB pick in RD2 on anyone. I also saw Dez being drafted at the beginning of 2 and that was a bit high for my tastes. I absolutely love Dez Bryant but I wasn’t using my high round 2 pick on him because the value just isn’t there. I also saw Jimmy Graham being picked up around this area and I don’t think there was anything wrong with that but his season last year wasn’t worthy of a 2nd round pick (982 yards and 7 tds). I would 100% rather have Gronk in the 4th round than Graham in the 2nd. The idea of passing on an elite WR1 (Bryant, Green, Julio, or Marshall) didn’t make sense to me to warrant a Graham pick. A Steven Jackson or David Wilson pick in rd 2 was an ideal spot for me here.

Round 3
I don’t like picking backs who have never played in the 3nd round like Lamar Miller, Lacy, and Bernard. I’m not a fan of Demarco Murray after the way he treated me last year and would rather have guys like Reggie Bush, Darren Sproles, or Darren McFadden. Most people won’t roll the dice on McFadden because he’s made of glass but I’ll take potential with chance of injury over steady any day of the week. The strategy in 3 is still get that 2nd RB if you haven’t already or try to land a guy like Fitz, A Johnson, or Randall Cobb. More than likely it’d be closer to Bowe, Cruz, Roddy, or V Jack. I don’t want D. Thomas because he’s competing for targets now with 2 other good receivers. Colston, Wayne, and Amendola don’t thrill me either. I”m still passing on a QB.

Round 4
At this point I’m thinking about a QB but still not taking one unless I have to. Most likely Rodgers, Brees, Brady, Peyton are off the board at this point. I’m jumping on Cam if I can because he has something other QB’s don’t and that’s durability and a proven track record. He doesn’t throw many passing TD’s and plays on an improving team but he uses his legs to get points and that’s big. I’m staying away from Kapernick and R. Wilson because they aren’t proven. Their ceiling may be high but just last season I remember saying the Wilson was the worst QB statistically and you’d have to be moron to play him early on. It was only until the end that he lit it up and that’s not a big enough sample size with no receivers surrounding him. The sample size of Kap is also too small to instill confidence. If I thought I could wait until round 5 to get a Stafford or Ryan I would, otherwise I’d try to nail Romo in 6. I would stay away from RGNoKnee and Andrew Luck for reasons of a perhaps “lucky” rookie season.

Round 5-8
Simplest key to fantasy football, get players who touch the ball a lot. I’d much prefer a guy like Chris Ivory over Shane Vereen. Shane Vereen is better but his touches are dependent on whether Tom Brady is throwing the ball his way. Ivory will get 15 hand offs which all lead to opportunity. Daryl Richardson is a perfect example of getting touches as their starting RB. If he sucks Isiah Pead will step in but at least he has the opportunity. I wonder why people draft the Denver RB’s so early? There are 3 of them and none are better than the other. A guy like Ahmad Bradshaw is what you want in these rounds. Mark Ingram isn’t shit unless the Saints change their way of doing things. Also, why would I draft backups unless I need them as a handcuff? They are just going to sit on my bench and it essentially means I didn’t do my job in the earlier rounds drafting running backs. It translates to passing too. Would I rather have DeSean Jackson or Chris Givens? Givens! Why? He gets targets. Would you rather have a guy who gets 5 targets a game or 10? It’s simple math. I check the target report after every week to make sure my guys are seeing the ball. If they don’t, cut em. Guys like Josh Gordon, T.Y Hilton, and Cecil Shorts kill at this spot. You don’t want guys like Stevie Johnson who have no QB. I assume the same case could be made for Cecil but he somehow did it last year. If I haven’t gotten a TE yet I’ll try to grab a guy like Jared Cook, Jermikes, or Greg Olsen. Vernon Davis would be ideal but that’s reaching.

The Final Rounds
I see people draft defenses early and I understand the logic behind not having to worry about changing a good defense, and it does work out, but I’m not sure you give up such an edge that it’s worth giving up your 9th round pick or so. Am I willing to take the Bears in place of Rueben Randle or Kendrell Thompkins? No chance in hell. I’ll reiterate that fantasy football is all about potential. You know what you get from a Lance Moore type guy but have no idea what DeAndre Hopkins could give you. I’d rather take flyers in the later rounds instead of use my picks on defenses and kickers.

My basic principals are draft guys who get the touches. I’d rather have the best player on a bad team than a good player on a great team. This goes against trying to pick players from the strongest teams but they are the strongest teams because they have the strongest players which means they spread the ball around. I’m not drafting Jordy Nelson or James Jones when I know Randall Cobb is the new #1. Thomas, Decker, and Welker are going to be a crap shoot. Give me Mike Wallace from Miami, Garcon from Washington or Torrey Smith from Baltimore. They are THE GUY.

Draft RB’s early and get the go to guys who touch the ball. I also am in a few auction type waiver wire situations and I only think it will only help my cause. I’m the most active person on the waiver wire each year but I only pick up free agents. My goal is to get that waiver priority to #1 and scoop the back up when a starter goes down. My point is that I’m not going to use my money until the later parts of the season. Any veteran player knows that the only part of the regular season is making it to the playoffs. The beginning means very little compared to the end.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-04T07:53:22-04:00September 4th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

2013 Philly Kicking Cancer Kickball Tournament

Team Kegs and Legs at the 2013 Kicking Cancer Kickball Tournament

This weekend was the 2013 Philly Kicking Cancer Kickball Tournament. We had 2 “practices” leading up to the tournament but it was safe to say we were all novices. This tournament draws 44 teams with 10+ people per team. I woke up at 7 and got some breakfast feeling pretty good from the night before where I was at the Eagles pre-season game taking it easy. I headed to Evan’s to meet up with fellow team members and headed off to the fields. I was running low on gas and decided to put a few gallons in to ensure we would have enough for the trip. This proved to be disastrous. In the haste of filling up my tank, I left my phone on the top of the car. About midway through the trip to the fields, Evan said, “I think a leaf just fell off your car.” I immediately felt my pockets and realized I didn’t have my phone. I went to the fields, dropped off Evan and the Shee, and then double backed to where I thought the phone might have fell. I was unable to find it and moved on not letting this debacle ruin my day.

The tournament started around 10 and our first game didn’t start until 11:30. At fundraisers like this, the standard is to drink. I cracked open my first beer around 9am and was probably one of the first to do so. It was interesting watching the first couple games and we were getting prepared by throwing a few back. When game time arrived we did a pre game ritual fireball shot and we took the field.

Getting acclimated to the rules took about 1 inning and we were off. I think the other team scored first when they booted one over Evan’s head. Before this happened I recall Evan saying something along the lines of, “never let anything get over your head.” Aside from that one play, the other team was pretty bad and we benefited from their constant mistakes in the field. We won the first game 6-1.

Our next game was an hour later and the fireball ritual took place again. Feeling nice and hyped, we got down 1-0 to a formidable team. Each game goes 25 minutes so it’s a bit of a rushed feeling when you get down. With about 8 minutes left, Cait (our leadoff hitting star) booted a triple over some outfielders who were playing her as a typical girl. Evan drove her in on the next hit and we had the game tied. I came up with a man on 1st and booted a dinger to a girl outfielder in right field. It probably would have been caught by a normal person but this ball was perfectly placed for the situation and made the game 3-1. Our defense held and we won the game.

In between games we played some flip cup and worked on “twerking”. I was starting to feel a bit tipsy at this point and some girls came by and handed out some vita-coco. Our coach, hometown honey, made everyone drink it up to restore electrolytes. It tasted like shit but I drank it anyway. At this point I was substituting a beer for a water each game. We only had a wee bit remaining for fireball shots but this proved fruitful once again. In game 3 we were down 2-1 with only 5 or so minutes to play. 2 base runners got on and I was up to bat. I told the Shee that I was going to let the pitcher’s first pitch go by and then boot a homer out to the right field girl. As fate would have it, I did just that. I launched a nice high ball out to right and the girl never stood a chance. We ended up winning the game 4-2.

At 3-0 we made the playoffs however we were out of Fireball. This proved to make a difference as we were beat by a better playing team. I’m not saying they were better than us, but they played better than us this game. They executed nice kicks to spaces that we weren’t covering. I blew a game changing peg towards a runner at home that can’t be described as anything but an error. We lost 4-1 and that was the day. It was a very fun day all things considered. The weather was beautiful, company enjoyable, and fun times were had by all. I’d recommend this to anyone interested.

By Tom Stortz|2013-08-12T12:47:46-04:00August 12th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

The Gimme Conundrum

I’ve developed the reputation as a stickler of the rules when playing golf. From what I can tell, most people don’t appreciate this type of approach to the game. The standard golfer drops wherever, counts however, and most certainly takes putts that they will more often than not miss. I played with Bill on Sunday, who caddies at a private course and has seen hundreds of groups play golf, and even he took note of the fact that I wasn’t too lenient with my gimme putts. He even told a story of how he didn’t give a 2 foot putt to his playing partner one time and the guy didn’t talk to him for a year and a half. That’s some serious stuff but it should give an idea of how personal people can take this game and is it really worth abiding by strict rules when everyone is trying to have fun.

The most obvious reason for abiding by same set of rules is so everyone is playing the same game. It’s fine if there is no competition angle, and everyone is playing for shits and giggles, but the moment a match or bet is on, guidelines have to be set. Competition is a good thing in golf as long as it’s friendly. Bill and I played for 3 total dollars and even that was enough to keep things interesting. The other reason to play by the rules is because it makes you better. You won’t improve as a golfer if you are constantly taking 3 foot putts. Bill commented that I was pretty good at 3 foot putts and the answer to that is easy, I’m always finishing them so I’ve had a lot of practice. Rules generally make games harder which leads to higher standards and thus more thought and precision. This topic is hilarious though because people want gimmes. I’ve made the statement before but most people are pussies. They don’t want to blow up their score by taking 6 extra strokes from 4 feet. It is an extremely touchy subject.

*This post is at no person or particular round, just a topic I’m writing about.

By Tom Stortz|2013-08-12T12:46:21-04:00August 6th, 2013|Sports|4 Comments

Offensive NFL All-Con Team

You don’t make this list on talent alone. Just because you got pulled over one time and you’re All Pro isn’t going to qualify you because that’s far too easy to compile. This list considers the degree of talent AS WELL AS how stupid and how many times you’ve been stupid. With that, I present to you the NFL’s All Con Team. All info I receive is from the website Wikipedia which I assume will save me from all copyright issues. I hope not to land on this list…

QB – Michael Vick

It’s surprising but not many QB’s get into much trouble. Vick will lead this team because I didn’t think Dante Culpepper’s incident with the Minnesota Viking Party Boat compared to the dog fighting scandal. He’s not that great of a QB considering he’s only thrown for 3,000 yards twice in his career and is known more for his legs and losing in the playoffs. If we opened this up to his brother Marcus Vick, I’m sure we’d have much more dirt than a dog fighting scandal.

RB – Cedric Benson –

Cedie has had 3 1,000 yard seasons as a RB but his arrests allow him to make this team. We’ll move to list format for these because they are hilarious.
– Before the start of the 2008 season, Benson was arrested for allegedly operating a boat while intoxicated and resisting arrest. “I’m not handcuffed. I’m not under arrest. I’m not threatening him. I’m not pushing him. I’m not touching him. And he sprays me right in the eye.”
– Benson was arrested for driving while intoxicated in Austin on June 7, 2008. Benson has denied the police officers’ allegations, and insisted that he ‘aced’ the field test
– On June 29, 2010, Benson was arrested for assault with injury after reportedly punching a bartender in the face
– On July 17, 2011, Benson was arrested in Austin, Texas for a misdemeanor charge of assault causing bodily injury to a family member.
– On January 23, 2013 it was disclosed that Benson was charged with having animals run without control, and ticketed in December 2012 and again in January 2013 by Manitowoc County, WI authorities. Court appearances will happen in January and February 2013. Benson was also cited for driving 41 miles over the speed limit on January 1, 2013

RB – Marshawn Lynch

Marshawn has given new meaning to the term “beast mode” and has one of the most amazing runs in NFL playoff history. He has an affinity for Skittles, grills (the mouth kind) and Applebee’s. Let’s also not forget DUI’s, guns, and car accidents. Back to list mode.
– 5/31/2008, his 2008 Porsche Cayenne SUV hit a 27-year-old woman and kept going. The woman suffered a bruised hip and cut on her thigh requiring seven stitches. Charges was dropped because the female was dancing in the street and was not seriously injured.
– 2/11/2009, Arrested on felony gun charge in Culver City, Calif., after police discovered his loaded firearm in vehicle.
– 7/14/2012, Arrested on suspicion of DUI in Alameda County in Northern California.

RB – OJ Simpson

Everyone is familiar with the murdering he’s gotten away with so let’s actually focus on football for a change.
At USC, Simpson led the nation in rushing in 1967 when he ran for 1,451 yards and scored 11 touchdowns. He also led the nation in rushing the next year with 355 carries for 1,709 yards. In 1968, he rushed for 1,709 yards and 22 touchdowns, earning the Heisman Trophy, the Maxwell Award, and the Walter Camp Award that year. His pro career was just as impressive as he gained 11,236 rushing yards, placing him 2nd on the NFL’s all-time rushing list when he retired; he now stands at 18th. He was named NFL Player of the Year in 1973, and played in six Pro Bowls. He was the only player in NFL history to rush for over 2,000 yards in a 14 game season and he’s the only player to rush for over 200 yards in six different games in his career. Simpson was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1985, his first year of eligibility.

WR – Plaxico Burress

Plax is an above average WR but the way he found himself in jail is what sets him apart. On November 28, 2008, Burress suffered an accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound to the right thigh in the New York City nightclub LQ in the Lexington in NYC owned by GM Jim Marino when his Glock pistol, tucked in the waistband of his sweatpants, began sliding down his leg; apparently in reaching for the gun he inadvertently depressed the trigger, causing the gun to fire. Can someone please explain how you get into a club wearing sweatpants?

WR – Kenny Britt

Kenny is a good player that never plays. Whether it be injuries or run ins with the law, he has a far greater reputation as a bad boy than he does with his skills. He makes this team strictly for his arrests, which are many. “I’ll be the first to admit I got caught in some difficult circumstances, and made some bad decisions in my past, but all that changed me as a person, and I learned from it and got stronger from it.” 2011 was a rough year but look on the bright side, nothing in 2013. I’m expecting big things from my man Kenny who holds great value in late rounds of fantasy drafts.
– 1/15/2010, Arrested on three outstanding traffic warrants after being pulled over in Glen Ridge, N.J.
– 8/4/2010, misdemeanor citation in Nashville for driving on a revoked license. He was pulled over for having the window tinting too dark on his Chevy Camaro.
– 2/9/2011, Criminal complaint filed against him alleging theft by deception. He allegedly failed his pledge to pay two bail bonds companies for friend arrested in January 2010.
– 4/12/2011, Arrested in New Jersey after car chase with police. Charged with felony: eluding an officer.
– 6/8/2011, Arrested in New Jersey on two counts of resisting arrest. He allegedly tried to conceal a marijuana cigar from police, just a day after pleading guilty to careless driving in April.
– 7/20/2012, Arrested and charged with DUI as he attempted to pass through a security gate at the Fort Campbell Army base, Fort Campbell, Ky.

TE – Aaron Hernandez

This ongoing investigation for the murder of Odin Lloyd will find Aaron Hernandez guilty of murder on multiple accounts. HE’S HOLDING A GUN! I have a made previous posts about this here and here and he definitely did it. He was actually a very good tight end in his short lived career. Oddly, TE’s are fairly well behaved and he tops the list for being current. He’s also being looked at for a 2012 double homicide that he’s linked to and also a 2013 Florida shooting where he shot someone’s eye out. In 2007, while at Flordia College, he was also in a bar fight where he was underage and left without paying the check. The bouncer disputed the check and Hernandez punched him in the back of the head. Not a good guy here.

K – Sebastian Janikowski

The Oakland Raiders are the team to play on if you have legal troubles. They were NWA’s favorite team and Al Davis was notorious for wanting the meanest, baddest players who have the most trouble abiding by the rules. C-Bass fits in as the strongest legged kicker in the game. I’ll always take him on my fantasy team.
– 9/20/2003, arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor assault, misdemeanor vandalism and public drunkenness after an altercation at a Walnut Creek nightclub.
– 10/2/2002, charged with one count of felony possession of a controlled substance after being found with a designer drug during a police sweep.
– 6/21/2000, cited for two misdemeanor counts of drunken driving in Oakland.

So there you have it. I’ll have a defensive list coming in the next few days. A few people I missed were Julian Edelman, Brandon Marshall, Michael Irvin, Randy Moss, Terry Glenn, Vincent Jackson, and Ricky Williams… Who’d you like to see?

By Tom Stortz|2013-07-26T17:41:55-04:00July 26th, 2013|Sports|2 Comments

Stigma, Stages, and Steroids

Rudy Gay Can’t See

Yahoo Sports – This great story comes from Rudy Gay who has a phobia of putting things in his eyes and swallowing pills. This off season he got Lasik to correct a stigma in his left eye. I don’t know if I’m relieved that Gay can see again or mesmerized that he was as good as he was with bad eye sight. Rudy Gay on his vision problems: ‘It was terrible. I could hardly get my license’. You shoot 3 pointers for a living and you can’t see the rim? He is going to make 37 million dollars over the next two years and he got that contract with the inability to see properly. Unbelievable. He’s not a sniper by any means shooting 45% from the floor and a mediocre 34% from downtown for his career but this is remarkable considering this story. Who else wants to bet Rudy becomes a top 10 player next year?

Zimmerman Stages Becoming a Hero

USA Today – George Zimmerman helped rescue a family from an overturned SUV four days after the verdict, the Seminole County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement Monday. I knew this guy was a hero! How on Earth does this happen? A man whose reputation will forever be tarnished has all of a sudden AGAIN taking on the role of a hero. I swear this wasn’t by accident. Zimmerman has probably been scheming of ways to fall back into society’s good graces and this is just the start. I expect him to start saving children from disease, erecting shelters, and feeding all of Africa. Anyone else believe this news story?

Ryan Braun Made a Huge Mistake

Roids?

USA Today – Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun has been suspended without pay for the rest of the season, a 65-game ban announced Monday by Major League Baseball in what appears to be the first salvo in the league’s fight against players allegedly tied to the Biogenesis lab. One thing should not be forgotten and this is if you cheat, you will get caught. Even if you don’t get caught, you won’t be able to live with cheating. Ryan Braun should be kicked out of baseball. He did the #1 thing that you shouldn’t do once you get caught and that is lie. People forgive you if you tell the truth, they hate you if you lie. Liars don’t deserve a second chance because it’s actually their 3rd chance. The first chance is not cheating, the 2nd is coming clean when you get caught. Stories like this and Lance, Gay, Bonds, and the rest of them are sad for sports and sadder for mankind. You are a disappointing role model and you should be whisked away into oblivion never to be heard of again.

By Tom Stortz|2013-07-23T14:00:34-04:00July 23rd, 2013|Celeb, Sports|2 Comments

I’m Matt Harvey

I thought this was extremely entertaining. It works perfectly because Harvey has started to show flashes off a star and people aren’t familiar with who he is (obviously). I’d even go as far to say that 95% of MLB players would be unrecognizable to the average person. Most superstars though wouldn’t fall into this category. Most people in Philly would recognize the likes of Chase or Howard but not Dom Brown. I thought this could have been even funnier than it was though if Harvey asked better questions or had leading follow up responses. The Clayton Kershaw answer should have been followed up with “he’s a bum, Harvey rules.” He should have been guiding them to better answers. Pure gold though in the concept because the people are pure in their reaction. It’s real life.

By Tom Stortz|2013-07-16T12:20:38-04:00July 16th, 2013|Sports|2 Comments

Running To Beat the Heat

What movie is this scene from?

It’s been hot. 100 degree hot. I’ve been getting my ass kicked on workouts like never before. I’ll start out with 15 minutes at a nice pace, do 10 minutes of hard stair work, and then I’m toast. I try to add more to the workout and my whole body is spent. My run back is unbearable and I’ve even had circumstances where I’ve had to take a break and actually walk on the way back. I swear this is unheard of in my years of running. So I’m either aging or the heat is sapping the life out of me.

I know full well that I’ve entered into some of these workouts dehydrated and that doesn’t help. Running on days after drinking is always more taxing on the body. This is hardly an excuse as I’ve been doing this for many years. Without the proper hydrating though, I can feel that my body isn’t reacting with efforts of strength in this 100 degree weather. This has me hydro-loading for the 5k on Wednesday. To anyone reading this blog, there is a fun 5k on Wednesday called the Phil’s 5k. It’s going to be steaming hot but that makes it more fun.

There are a few benefits and downsides to running in this weather. The biggest downside is that your clothes get so sweaty that they need to be washed immediately. If you leave sweat drenched clothes on the ground for days at a time, the sweat smell gets embedded into it and it’s impossible to get rid of. That means that if you run daily, you need to do a load of wash after every run. One of the great things about scorching weather is that the water afterwards tastes 10x better. Today after I did my run I found a water fountain in my building that was probably the coldest, purest, elixir I’ve had in a long time. It was comparable to sipping water while in the Sahara desert. I sat by it for 3 straight minutes just lapping up the water. It reminded me of being a kid and knowing which water fountains were worth drinking out of because they were the coldest. Working out in weather like this also helps you when the heat goes back to normal because you’ll be prepared for tougher conditions. I personally love it because it makes me sweat like a beast and I feel so good afterwards. To anyone who doesn’t like it, you’re probably a pussy.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:24:46-04:00July 15th, 2013|Running|3 Comments