We Don't Walk Slow

31 Oct, 2017

Bad JuJu

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-31T11:57:09-04:00October 31st, 2017|Fantasy|4 Comments

When you’re on the roller coaster of life, you expect the ups and downs. This was a down week.

I’ll start with what wasn’t horrible and my continuing effort to make $200 last 16 weeks. I brought myself almost back to even in my sports betting. CFB is absolutely killing me week after week. Adam, now the 5 and 0 man betting baseball, should get some credit for keeping me alive with these World Series bets. I didn’t listen to him on game 1 if you were wondering. I want to add that I watched a Periscope with Warren Sharp and Evan Silva last night and they were where I got the Seahawks and Chargers picks. It was neat to hear his analysis and how good the Pats are at “mortar kicks” and how bad the Chargers were on 3rd down and their mystery use of Hunter Henry. Up to 76 bets though, so I’m hanging with the juice.

My season long fantasy week was saved by a Harrison Butker barrage last night to eek 1 game out by .1. I still went 1-3 though and am still shaking my head over Rock’s comeback. Note to fantasy players, it doesn’t matter if the projection %’s say 99% – 1%, you can still lose. How? When Yahoo! has a projection at 5, and the guy goes for 30, that % means jack shit. If you couldn’t guess, that player was JuJu Smith-Schuster. It also didn’t help when Nuk exploded in the 2nd half and Jimmy Graham scored 2 second half TD’s to basically turn my 99% to a loser in a matter of hours. 2 leagues I sit at 3-5, 1 at 4-4, and the other at 5-3. Looking to make the playoff push.

After my DFS success, I followed it up with no movement last week and -$230 this week. I upped my buy ins and reduced the tournaments in a go big or go home push. I went home. Total whiff on the Texans and I wasn’t on LeSean.

27 Oct, 2017

The Gambling Mentality

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-27T14:39:48-04:00October 27th, 2017|Fantasy|1 Comment

I had someone text this to me yesterday:

If you watched the game last night, you’d know the home team mopped up. Today I feel like a genius. Why?

I had no inkling at all on this game and said I like the home team. I didn’t consider the injuries, the players, any trends, or what type of game was going to be played and I won. It wasn’t well thought out. Yet some reason I feel smart.

I’m fairly certain this is why people gamble and the best reason I can describe for why I do it. I don’t gamble to make money. The money is nice but whether I win or lose, I’m not in it to retire. I’m also not in it to lose money I work hard to earn. I gamble within my means and it’s more of a leisure activity instead of a money maker. That being said, I love being right. The satisfaction and reward for nailing a game is earning more money to bet again. I’m currently on week 8 with the same $200 I started the NFL season with and I’m approaching 70 bets with that money. Sure I’ve been all in 4 times and this run could have ended, but as is, LET’S FUCKING GO. That was a capitalized LFG for the Seahawks and Chargers this week. Sorry Rob.

25 Oct, 2017

Hoka Clifton 4’s – Are They Worth The Money?

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-25T22:13:47-04:00October 25th, 2017|Running|2 Comments

I haven’t posted much about running lately because I’ve been injured. It started when I was going all out on the track and over did it to the point that I sprained my knee. It didn’t hurt at all during the workout, but a few days later I couldn’t run and the healing process was slow. Today is the first day that I can say that I ran without pain in my knee and it’s been about 6 weeks.

Altra Instinct 4.0

My running shoes have been the brand Altra for about 3 years. They were wide in front and I didn’t have a problem with blisters which was a recurring problem throughout my life. Altra solved all that. That is until I bought the Instinct 4 and ran the Tex Mex 5k this year. The shoes causes these huge blood blisters on my feet that put me out a week or two because they squeezed my feet together too much. It could have been that my time was so fast that there was so much heat on the shoes…you be the judge. I tried to go back to the Instinct 2.5 or the Torrin 2.0 which I had previously, but was only matched with a pair that wasn’t an exact match from the internet. I can’t explain how this happened but the other Torrin pair I tried was too tight in front and caused my toes to jam against the front and thus creating a blood blister under my toe nail.

All that behind me, I decided to go with a Sam recommendation and try the Hoka brand. In my life I’ve ran with Nike, Asics, Saucony, Brookes, and Mizuno and never found one that I thought was worth sticking to, so I’m open to any new shoe. The Clifton 4’s were $130 and seemed like they offered a lot of protection over a light, speed shoe. I’m not trying to win any races so that’s fine for me.

I took them to the treadmill today, with brand new Feetures socks, and completed 40 minutes of the Rolling Hills workout at 8.2 and 8.3 (7:15 minute miles). The shoes were burning up at various times, but never to the point where I was feeling it blister into soft skin. I’m especially pleased as shoes tend to loosen up a little bit as they get broken in. I’ll obviously have a better review after I put more miles on them, but all in all, I was happy with the result and would say that if you are looking for a new shoe to try, the money is the money.

If you’ve got this far and watched the Sixers game, what on Earth was Jerryd Bayless doing not getting a shot off on their last possession?

25 Oct, 2017

A Taxi Is Better Than Uber?!?!?

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-25T10:37:28-04:00October 25th, 2017|My Brain|1 Comment

Last night I got a taxi from 13th and Chestnut to 3rd and Brown for $8.00. The taxi driver was expedient and a professional driver. The car was what it was. This was after paying $8.76 to go from Kenshin Asian Diner (3rd and Spring Garden) to Smith’s (19th & Market) in an UberX that smelled like cat urine. I know this will come as a shock to some people, but I’m almost starting to lean towards taxi’s and here’s why:

’16 Stats

I can’t say for certain, but it does feel like the taxi’s have lowered their prices. I have no data to back this up. The chart to the right, made in ’16, shows considerably higher fees for taxi’s.
Taxi drivers are legitimately better drivers. I’ve been in contact with more Uber drivers who are fresh off the boat who don’t even know what side of the road they should be on. Exaggeration obviously, but a random civilian vs a “driver” is noticeable to me.
Getting into a taxi is easier than calling an Uber, especially in Center City. Calling Uber’s in crowded areas can be a nightmare. Jumping into a taxi takes 2 seconds.
Watching the Uber driver get to me is absurd. There will be 10 cars on the map, I confirm the ride, and then the guy who accepts is 6 minutes away and traveling in the wrong direction. Standing like a shithead waiting for an Uber is up on my list of not fun things to do.
They have added the “tip” function into the Uber app which I’m not sure is good or bad. It was cheaper because you didn’t have to tip.

Another reason I wrote this post is because you don’t know that driver’s mental state with Uber. I had a ride to the airport last week with a guy who has given 3,500 rides and he told 1,500 have been to the airport. He was driving up 2nd and got to Market, right where the entrance to 95 South is, and he drove passed it, made a loop around whatever hotel that was, came down Front, and then got onto that entrance. If you’ve given 1,500 rides to the airport and don’t know where that entrance is, there is something wrong with you. He was a nice guy with a 4.9 rating but he must have been on crazy meds or was just plain nuts. He kept talking to me about the 1981 Eagles team that went to the Super Bowl like I knew what he was talking about.

This isn’t an Uber bashing post or a Pro-Taxi post. It’s to point out that there is a place and time for both services. For people who rave about Uber, I’m sometimes not sure we are using the same service. I tend to get along with Taxi drivers as well so maybe I’m a bit biased to how bad people perceive the Taxi to be. My Uber rating is 4.7 which is an internal self measuring device that carries no real world rate. What’s yours?

24 Oct, 2017

Gambling Is Fun!

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-24T11:34:09-04:00October 24th, 2017|Fantasy|1 Comment

Tuesday’s are good review days after all the action ends. I’ve been AI 3 times since last Wednesday which generally isn’t a good way to gamble but my head is still above water in the Bovada account. I’m down about 80 bucks for the season but for making 63 bets, I’ll take it. It’s funny how the trends go with winning 4 in a row and then losing 4 in a row.

Coming off my nice win in DK I entered 6 lineups and thankfully won 1 $50 5 man, winner take all, for a $3 dollar profit. It was the last lineup I threw together saying to myself that I had to have some exposure to Zeke and Dak. Onto next week.

My fantasy teams went 2-2 and I’m in the hunt in all 4 leagues. I’m 4-3 in 2 and 3-4 in the others. My teams have varying degrees of issues but I’m pretty sure everyone does at this point. Not playing Derek Carr against Adam cost me the W.

21 Oct, 2017

Doing It Twice

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-21T11:17:47-04:00October 21st, 2017|My Brain|2 Comments

I must be coming down with dementia because I’ve had this bizarre brain blip where I can’t remember if I did something. For instance, if I put shampoo on, I’ll put the shampoo down and then immediately wonder if I’m on to the conditioner phase. This happens with deodorant all the time with me. So I end up going through twice as much product because I’d rather be safe than sorry. It makes me feel like a total bonehead and I wouldn’t compare it to OCD, it’s a mental lapse. Anyone else have this problem?

20 Oct, 2017

#VegasStrong

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-20T16:06:49-04:00October 20th, 2017|My Life|0 Comments

I was in Vegas for a trade show the last few days and came back unscathed. I know that’s harsh for the circumstance, but it has to be on people’s minds who visit even though you can’t really tell.

I stayed at the Luxor which is attached to the Mandalay Bay. I’ve been to Vegas many times so the glitz and glamour are nothing new. Even the gambling aspect loses its luster because I have a casino 5 minutes from my house. Nevertheless, the city is fun and I’ll go over a few of my observations.

Gluttony Galore – The tourists are fat and lazy. I’d go out on a limb and say 75% of people are overweight. It’s a problem that America is not dealing with and extremely transparent in Vegas.
Absurd Pricing – In all of the hotels the beers are about $7. I also had a Gin and Tonic for $17. If you buy a PBR pounder on the strip side stores, it’s $1.19. Where all the money comes from is confusing. I can’t imagine most people have this money to blow like Birdman.
The Vigil – I ran down to the Vegas “Welcome” sign and there was a memorial dedicated to all of the victims and it’s extremely sad. I read a card created from an elementary school class to their deceased teacher which shows you how far and personal these attacks reach. Sad stuff.

My Gambling

I won’t bore you with the trade show as I’m sure everyone only cares about my action. I started off losing the first 2 NBA games on Boston and Golden State for a combined $80. Then I rolled my account on the Sixers and hit the Raiders last night to put me in the green about $50. I used Bovada instead of booking the action at the book like Adam would prefer.

My first BJ session happened with 4 male students from Notre Dame. That didn’t cum out right. Shit. I started off playing 1 on 1 with the dealer and all was going well. Then these 22 year old finance students show up with scared money and cocky attitudes. They bought in from ranges of $40-$100 and would jump in and out of the shoe. They wouldn’t hit their 16’s either. Then one hand I had a 12 against a dealer 3 and I hit it. I busted and the guy told me “oh man, sorry, that wasn’t what the book says, I should have told you.” Nice kids but not people you want to play blackjack with. I lost $200 in that session.

My next session was a 1am session where I sat down for a 1 on 1 session against the dealer and I was joined by a meathead after not so long. He would stay on 5’s and 6’s. No lie. Then his GF got there and the dealer would tell her to hit and she wouldn’t understand what was going on. I lost $200 in this session too.

On my final day I played 1v1 against the dealer and finally had some success She was a nice and we had a fine time for about 3 8 deck shoes where I won $250. I left because at one point a fat gentlemen joined and didn’t hit his 16’s and I said, “fuck that”, no more putting up with people ruining the deck. I was always aware of this but am not a firm believer that you are fucking yourself by putting up with nonsense.

After the show I took one more stab at it and sat down with a guy who knew what he was doing. We played for a while relatively even when a 24 year old gamer sat down to my left. On one hand he had a pair of 6’s against a dealer 5, easy split. He doesn’t split and hits, catches a 5, and then HITS again to bust. The dealer flips over a ten and then a 6. I nearly lost it when my 20 got beat on that hand and I walked away losing $125.

I was pretty steamed after that but I sat down 1 more time and finally had some luck. I bought in for $200 against and Asian female (the absolute WORST type of dealer) and started off with a $15 bet which won, then $30 which won, then $60 which won. I went for it one more time with a $100 bet and got 20 only to lose to her BlackJack 21. She left and a new dealer came in and I was joined by 5 other people who actually wanted to play blackjack the right way. I was pressing a bit at that point because I had to leave to catch a flight, and I ended up on the last hand betting $75, getting a double opportunity, and then winning which put me up $350 for that table and relatively close to even for the trip. I tipped the dealer $25 because at that point I was ecstatic to have clawed my way back after a losing trip for 99% of the time.

Fun times but glad to be home.

16 Oct, 2017

Where The Win Puts Me At

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-16T10:35:54-04:00October 16th, 2017|Fantasy|1 Comment

Winning 3k sounds tremendous, but it’s not all fun and games. This win is essentially making up for all the gambling work that I’ve done over the past year to put me in the “green” for a set amount of time. PLUS, the money is taxable money which people who consistently lose don’t have to worry about.

DraftKings
Deposited: $1205 since 1/1/2017
Withdraw: $0.00
Net: -$1,205

Bovada
Deposited $1,300 including fees since 1/1/2017
Withdraw: $300, still $100 in the account
Net: $-900

Sugarhouse

So without looking into Casino wins and losses you can see that the $2,250 (net) will put me ahead a few hundred dollars over the course of the year for my gambling ~~addiction~~ fun. I actually think I can deduct the $810 from the 3k and only tax the 2,200 as income, but I’d need someone to explain that to me. Either way, I’m going to move 2k out of the DraftKings account and leave 1k for a new roll moving forward. This new roll is well earned for all the time I’ve spent and hopefully will give me some more flexibility in a week to week investment. Many people would look at that like, “hey, you won 3k, you’re rich”. Not exactly. It’s more like I’m getting some of my own money back that I conveniently loaned to Bovada and other members of Draftkings. You’re welcome! Cue up the insta Rob Kelley like.

15 Oct, 2017

When A Plan Comes Together

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-15T20:29:42-04:00October 15th, 2017|Fantasy|3 Comments

After getting my clocked clean last week in Draftkings, losing 100% of my investment on 9 lineups, I took a more limited approach in week 6. I created 5 DraftKings lineups ranging from $8 to-$50, mostly in GPP’s. I added a $50 dollar line up as more of a hail mary type investment, as I’ve been losing all season and it seemed like a good time to gamble. I was recovering from a Friday late night and didn’t do much on Saturday except read about football. Total loser. However, this time investment led to a good story.

I met Adam, Evan, and Steve at Miller’s on Delaware Ave for the 1pm games. The setup was good for football and the pricing was much more affordable than Fox and Hound. Adam and I got there first and I showed him my Draftkings line up. He said, “I don’t want to give you advice” (or something to that effect) and I said I want to hear it. He said that he’s been to Phoenix Stadium twice and it’s a difficult place to play in for an away team. I had a Jameis to DeSean stack in the $50 lineup. He went to he bathroom and I had a decision to make. I took Adam’s advice and moved to Kirk Cousins and Amari Cooper in place of the TB stack.

Evan and I know that you have to get started early to do some damage and my team was ready. Cousins to Chris Thompson was a cheap 51.8 pts that only ~2% of the league had combined (each was 10% owned so I’d guess the stack was much less). Mark Ingram was 31.9% owned and rightfully so. AB was a guy who I paid up for and came through in spades. John Brown was my cheap WR who did his job and Amari Cooper was my worst pick. I tell Evan that we have to think about paying up for Gronk every week and he was a dynamite 4x. Mickinnon (34.2% owned) was what was expected from his talent. The Texans D was an obvious pick against the Browns.

The team won by 15.4 points and I added 3k to my roll. This lineup would have been 34th in the Sunday Mill and I would have cashed for $1,500. Lucky timing and the advice from Adam proved differential. I sculpted the lineup and he added the finishing touches. I tried to give him money and he didn’t take it. I already decided on an amount I would give him but I’m asking the audience. What does Adam deserve?

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I did use Fantasy Labs and PFF to help me create this lineup. Feels right to give some positive advertising after writing this piece.

13 Oct, 2017

TC’s LPTs

By Tom Stortz|2017-10-13T10:43:30-04:00October 13th, 2017|My Life, Off Topic|1 Comment

LPT – Life Pro Tip

Font choices in red should be regarded as “stop”
If you’re going to be using my LPT’s, you are forewarned
That is my actual betting log which has me down 7 units for the season

Don’t bet when drinking – When drinking, money becomes and object and not a means of survival. All awareness of the value of money goes out the window when you are 12 beers deep and this enables irrational thinking to bloom. As you can see from the feature image, the biggest bets are on games I couldn’t name one player from and this allowed a larger downturn than what should have happened. It should be noted that the biggest booms can occur when drinking as well.
Be Self Aware in Conversation – This is easily the hardest one to judge because it’s very subjective. When you’re talking to someone else, you can feel when you are on the same page with someone. They’ll be times when I start talking about a subject matter and I can tell that the person is bored to death or doesn’t care. When this happens, guess what I do? I change the fucking subject. So when you’re talking to me and you’ve prattled on for the last 5 minutes and I haven’t responded, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’m too polite to tell you that I don’t give a shit but you should be able to tell. Funny story and an example. Last weekend I was hanging out with the Wads and asked him where his GF was. He gave me a one sentence answer, then he started going into detail and I stopped him and said, “I don’t care.” I’m not trying to be mean here, and since Adam is one of my best friends, I don’t mind interrupting him and telling him I don’t care because whether she’s at the mall or at the salon, it’s out of my interest. If Adam was a stranger, I’d probably just nod my head a bunch of times.
Eat Food and Drink Water When Boozing – I can’t explain it but I’m horrible at this. It’s like interrupting my drinking by eating is a buzz kill. It makes no sense because it takes 30 minutes and will increase a night by hours. When I eat and drink, I can go all day if I stay away from shots. When I haven’t eaten, it’s like I’ll go black out and zombie my way for a few hours until something bad happens. It shouldn’t be difficult, but it’s essential.
Get Off the Fucking Machine – I started going to the gym again and people are, as Larry David would say, “nincompoops”. If you aren’t using the machine, don’t sit on it using your phone. It’s not a bench. Why are you bringing your phone to work out anyway? The gym isn’t social hour. It’s supposed to be an efficient process of getting in shape. The only people who spend 2 hours at the gym are people who have nothing better to do with their lives except getting swole to move furniture (is my best guess).
Say Thank You..But Not Too Much – By far the best phrase to use in many spots. I even overuse it to the point that it starts becoming meaningless. The server gives me some coffee. Thank you. The server gives me my omelette. Thank you. The server gives me my check. Thank you. People like to be thanked genuinely because we like doing good deeds and then being respected or acknowledged for doing them. It goes the same with “great job”. I don’t want to hear great job. I want to hear what you actually think of the work even if it’s negative.