I am not a blogger. I’ve evolved into someone much stupider than a blogger. All bloggers are the same. Think Gourlay. They get this brilliant idea that their thoughts are great and people want to read them so they sign up through a free website. Early on they have much dedication and ambition with their posts. They hope that people will come in droves to read their material. A few months pass, they realize it’s hard to come up with material consistently, they get worn out, they realize that nothing will ever come from this endeavor, and then they quit. I’ve seen it with dozens of friends and websites. Not me.
I’ve lost count of how many years I’ve been blogging but I’m not a blogger anymore. This is post 2,209 and have only been paid in comments…mostly negative. With this much experience being a moron who owns a domain name, I’ve come to see that there are plenty of other morons just like me.
Today I was reading the WSJ and saw that they are considering putting a woman on the $10 bill. A thought popped into my head that this is blog material. I could make a list of candidates and photoshop their faces on bills. Of course I wouldn’t pick actual candidates like Rosa Parks or Elenor Roosevelt. I’d go with polarizing figures like Lady Gaga and Hope Solo. It would be funny. LOLOLOLOL. As I let the idea simmer in my brain I quickly moved on to an article about Sancorp and forgot about the $10 bill. Later in the day I was reading BarStool and saw KFC wrote a shittier post than I would have about the $10 bill. This is when a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis.
I realized bloggers are all the same. They read sites like Reddit and the WSJ and post about an article that someone else made and try to make an interesting point. DING DING DING. I have to be the first source. People have to come to your site for material!!! Am I capable of producing my own news? NOPE.
Not yet at least. However the point is made that I have to create posts with original ideas. I remember Gourlay mentioning this point when he first started his blogging career and now that it’s over, I guess he came to the understanding that it’s harder than it looks. I’ve been struggling for post topics as of late but I think I’m going to be reinvigorated with an onslaught of material shortly. Just wait. Just wait.
I could see how this title may be portrayed as a plea for help but it’s more like asking to a group of people how much they are going to care about the events of my actual life, which is what I’ll be posting about.
We had a bball game last night and our team is in shambles. We had 7 people and 2 subs sign up and haven’t had more than 6 for a game. Our 6-6 center hurt his knee so he won’t be back for a while. Our point guard broke his ankle so he’s out. Another sub can’t play until the end of June and another sub just refuses to play. We picked up Mugesy as a last minute addition to the team which at least allows us to play in the games.
We were 1-1 coming into last night with one close loss and a blow out win. Last night we opened up a 13-1, unexpected, lead. The other team cut it to 2 at half time. As the game wound down I had a 3 point play opportunity to put us up 1 with a minute left to play. I missed the FT to put us in the lead and as only this clip could show, “C’mon, Larry, it was one shot.”
The other team scored on the ensuing play setting up a chance to tie it with 15 seconds left but we never got the shot. Mugsey stepped over the line throwing the ball in and we had to foul to essentially end the game. I think Jeff had about 30.
Sips is tonight so that’ll be some material for tomorrow. Jeff has moved out so I’m an empty nester now. My house is nice and cool on the bottom floors but the top is hot which has me sweating at night. I’m considering buying an A/C unit but I think I’ll just sweat it out. I’ve also been watching House of Cards which will consume some time because it’s a pretty addicting show. True Detective this Sunday which is a show to look forward to.
I’m stealing this directly from Reddit but will make an attempt at enhancing it with my own comments. It’s a list of the saddest Internet searches.
How to suicide if you’re on a budget?
I’m pretty sure I couldn’t kill myself if I wanted to. The threat of failing would immediately take it out of play. My answer to this would have to be jump from a pretty high place. I’d like to think overdose would be the least painful way but that wouldn’t be done on a budget. Just imagine you jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and on impact you didn’t get killed but only paralyzed severely and then your limp body just floated on the top.
How many cats can I legally own?
This question has to be made by women who need a relief from their husbands or have no significant other. I’ve personally seen a cat litter grow and it can spiral out of control quickly. Spay and neuter your pets. I’d guess the answer is as long as you can feed them.
How to make friends
You’re doing it wrong should be the first response. Get away from the computer. I’ll be the first to say that making friends isn’t easy but it’s not really that hard either. Sign up for a class. Participate in the sport. Do something. Anything.
Is mommy in heaven?
No. She’s dead. At what age are kid’s using the internet nowadays? I feel like by the time you’re 5 you understand life and death. Now I haven’t hung out with many 5 year old’s so it may be 10 or something.
Oprah Winfrey nude
Yikes. I know there are some crazy fetishes but the rich, powerful, big, black female fetish wouldn’t be mine.
Nickelback live 2015
I understand why people don’t like Nickelback. They feel the songs all sound the same and they reach monumental success by not being very talented. Deal with it. I however would have no interest in seeing them in concert. If this picture is any indication, I don’t hang out with a lot of Nickelback fans.
How to bury my dog if I live in apartment with no yard.
This is actually worth Googling. I have no idea.
In my never ending quest to get blog traffic, I posted my Best Albums of the 90’s on Reddit. Reddit is a smart site with tons of traffic so I was pretty happy that I got a comment from a human being who wasn’t my friend to give actual critique of the blog. Here is what he wrote:
Neat blog. Some comments/criticism:
1) I like some of the picks on the list, but I wish you went more in-depth about the music and why you like it so much, the biggest example being Nevermind, where you spent just as much time talking about a documentary on Kurt as you did talking about the actual music. That’s one of the several examples where you went off-topic, something I feel is just too important to ignore.
2) Your writing style is, for the most part, basic and limited to simple sentences. This is by no means a bad thing, but it’s something I recommend you work on.
3) “I’m sort of cheating on this album because I never listened to it in its entirety.” Why put the Smashing Pumpkins on the list, then? Better yet, why make a list of best albums if you blatantly acknowledged the fact that you have never fully listened to all of these albums? This, combined with the fact that nearly all of the top tracks are lead singles, leads me to assume that you didn’t put much thought into your picks.
I like the idea of your blog, I really do, and it’s enjoyable enough to read. However, there’s a ton of things you can do to improve your blog and make it even more pleasing to read. I hope you, as a fellow critic, will be able to acknowledge my criticism properly. 🙂
He’s right. If I was really trying to make this a good post, I could have enhanced it by integrating some of the points he made. More reasons why I like the music. Improving my writing, which I know is not my strong suit, but aside from taking writing classes, I’m sort of stuck with what I got. The final point is hard to understand because it’s not like I ever make a post with the understanding that it’s going to be read by, well, anyone. As I read this now it seems ridiculous to post music of albums I’ve never even heard but at the time of writing it, I didn’t even think twice. This is all good stuff though and I figured I’d share a critique of my work by an objective source.
My first post ranking the top 15 albums was met with quite a bit of feedback. With 10 years of material in a post that I put together in 3 hours, it’s clear I missed a few gems. That is why I’ve decided to come out with more top albums of the 90’s and then compile them into one more final list which I’ll consider complete. Orders will be shifted and albums replaced. Here are 15 more top albums of the 90’s.
Dave Matthew Band – Under the Table and Dreaming (1994)
Top Tracks – What Would You Say, Satellite, Ants Marching
First off, take a moment to admire the album cover and remember the swings at a carnival. Great ride. How I missed DMB the first go around I’m not entirely sure as this album is classic. The first song, The Best of What’s Around, (with John Popper of Blues Travelers) is probably my favorite and was overshadowed by the tracks I listed above. In middle and high school I never liked the kids who liked DMB for an inexplicable reason (probably because of their unbridled love that I wasn’t experiencing) but as I’ve gotten older I can appreciate the greatness that is this album and the band.
Sold: 6 million copies
Live – Throwing Copper (1994)
Top Tracks – Selling the Drama, I Alone, Lightning Crashes, All Over You
Oh now feel it, comin’ back again. Without a doubt I can say that Lightning Crashes was my favorite song for about 3 months straight in middle school. The pace of the intro followed by the hook had me hooked. I purchased the album specifically for this song and was treated to more excellent music. I grew to love Selling the Drama and I Alone. Follow up albums were never quite as good as Throwing Copper but still produced hits like Pain Lies on the Riverside and Overcome. Bud used to call Shit Towne, “S” Towne.
Sold: 8 million copies
Offspring – Smash (1994)
Top Tracks – Gotta Get Away, Come Out and Play, Self Esteem
I have to be honest, I did not own this album. The songs that I know are the most popular ones. Self Esteem was was played any and everywhere in 1994. After listening to the entire album once through recently, I’d have to pick Bad Habit as my favorite track. All of the songs are high energy with hard drum beats and all sort of sound the same. Smash was the contemporary to Dookie in 1994.
Sold: 11 million copies worldwide
Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream (1993)
Top Tracks – Cherub Rock, Today, Disarm
Joe Kenefic (someone I went to high school with but we never hung out outside of) commented on my list noted that I picked the wrong Smashing Pumpkins album. He is 100% right. I wrote that I didn’t listen to Mellon Collie and picked it because of the 4 songs I knew. I recently listened to Siamese Dream in its entirety and loved the feel of the album. I heard of the top tracks I listed but Mayonaise and Hummer blew me away. I’m happy I gave this one a chance because each and every track is worth listening to.
Sold: 4 million copies
Blink 182 – Enema of the State (1999)
Top Tracks – What’s My Age Again, Adam’s Song, All The Small Things
Another album I didn’t own but know the top tracks. Since I don’t want to just add albums I’ve never listened to, I go through each one to hear every track to get a feel for the music and see how the album stacks up in its entirety. I enjoyed the pace of Enema of the State and how the songs flow into each other. Each track is under 3 minutes and the album hits its groove in the middle. There aren’t many songs that struck me as “this sucks, change it” but that could be because they are short. Adam’s Song is the zenith for me. I also like how this wasn’t their debut album so they had to work to get to this point of success. Blink is also a weird band when it comes to band relationships with Travis Barker nearly dying and Mark Hoppus playing in Angels and Airwaves.
Sold 15 million copies worldwide
Jay Z – Hard Knock Life (1998)
Top Tracks – Hard Knock Life, Money Cash Hoes, Can I Get A
In 1998 I was into Rap. I probably listened through this album 100 times from A-Z. I learned to hate Hard Knock Life and that nauseating chorus. Fortunately the tracks on this album could be a greatest hits list. I liked If I Should Die more than the hits. Coming of Age and It’s Alright with Memphis Bleek are unheard of songs that shouldn’t be. The 14th and final track is Money Ain’t a Thang which was a monster hit with Jermaine Dupri. How many artists save one of their most popular tracks for last? Hova.
Sold: 5.4 million copies
Sublime – Sublime (1996)
Top Tracks – What I Got, Wrong Way, Santeria
Bradley Nowell died too young. He was 28 when he passed from a heroin overdose 7 days after getting married. It isn’t an easy decision choosing between Sublime (released after Bradley’s death and self titled) and 40 oz to Freedom but my opinion is this album is a little more polished. I must point out though that I find Badfish a song that can be played to favorable reviews in any environment, anywhere. It’s hard to argue though that What I Got & Santeria aren’t two of the finest, most played songs of the 90’s. I’m not up to date on other tracks on this album but this album deserves recognition for it’s Ska-Punk flavor.
Sold: 5 million copies
Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Blood Sugar Sex Magik (1991)
Top Tracks – Under the Bridge, Give it Away, Breaking the Girl
I’m going to come out and say it, I don’t like the Chilli Peppers that much. I find their hits nice to listen to but their secondary songs are fingernails on a chalkboard to me. I can rarely understand the lyrics hidden under the barrage of guitar and bass playing. Under the Bridge is a great song. Give it Away is ok. If I could combine One Hot Minute to this list I’d add My Friends as another great track. Hard to Concentrate is a great song from Stadium Arcadium. Not a band that I gel with.
Sold: 13 million copies
Third Eye Blind – Third Eye Blind (1997)
Top Tracks – Semi-Charmed Life, Jumper, How’s It Going To Be
Third Eye Blind still tours and put out an awesome single in Everything is Easy this year. The Self Title album Third Eye Blind was also awesome. Semi-Charmed Kind of Life is known by every human being who listens to music. I like the album because it’s easy listening but lacks the punching power on its secondary tracks. It should be noted though that the guys from Workahoilcs use Jumper to its utmost height in this clip.
Sold: 6 million copies
U2 – Achtung Baby (1991)
Top Tracks – One, Mysterious Ways, Even Better Than the Real Thing
If it’s not The Joshua Tree by U2, I probably won’t like it as much. When U2 released The Joshua Tree in 1987, they set the bar high, like 9 ft high (the world record is 8 ft in the high jump). Every track on that album is a smash. Actung Baby is better than 95% of the albums released in the 90’s but wasn’t as good as Joshua Tree and for that reason it gets swept under the carpet. One is an incredible song. Who’s Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses is a diamond in the rough. I didn’t listen to this album until I started doing this research so I apologize if I’m a bit off on the star appeal.
Sold: 18 million copies
Backstreet Boys – Millennium (1999)
Top Tracks – Larger Than Life, I Want It That Way, Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely
I know this album by osmosis. Laura had it would listen to it. A lot. Combine that with the fact that it was on TRL everyday, all day, and these tracks make your head spin. This album was released in 1999 which started the boy band era. N’Sync, No Strings Attached, was probably the “better” album but was released in 2000. I’m sure this could be hotly debated. I honestly don’t know how to rank this in terms of musical appeal. I can’t tell if it was pure image and infatuation from teenage girls that propelled this band but the music had to be at least decent. Their last song on this album is called “The Perfect Fan”. Now if that’s not knowing your audience, I don’t know what is. After I listened to this for “research” purposes, I’d give the music a D.
Sold: 30 million copies
Radiohead – OK Computer (1997)
Top Tracks – Paranoid Android, Karma Police
Ever notice that ears and hear are so similar? You’ll have to excuse my ears because they don’t get it. I enjoy Radiohead’s top tracks Paranoid Android and Karma Police as they would both make any playlist I’d make. The other tracks make me feel like I’m in 2050 with robot ears. It’s a lot of whining and off noises. OK Computer. There are hardly any hooks and the lyrics are inaudible. I feel the same way about Bends. High and Dry and Fake Plastic Trees are wonderful songs but I can’t get into the rest. I’m obviously not getting it though because Radiohead is regarded by top musicians as ground breaking so I’ll just show myself the exit.
Sold: 5 million copies
Aerosmith – Get a Grip (1993)
Top Tracks – Cryin, Crazy, Amazing
This album suffers from the U2 “Joshua Tree” syndrome. Aerosmith put out so many classic albums (this is their 11th) and have so many greatest hits that this doesn’t live up to expectations which are impossible to achieve. Amazingly, this is a solid album that produced classic tracks of the 90’s but with only 4 “hits”, it was deemed a failure by Aerosmith standards. Plus it comes with one of the hottest music videos of the 90’s with Alicia Silverstone looking dynamite.
Sold: 7 million copies
Barenaked Ladies – Gordon (1992) & (Stunt 1998)
Top Tracks – Brian Wilson, One Week, It’s All Been Done
I’m not going to lie, I struggled to get to 15 and keep up quality. I was considering Blue Travelers Four or Collective Soul’s self titled album but settled on joining two Barenaked Ladies albums. What starts to happen is that there are a few hits but then the music, well, starts to suck. I went with Gordon & Stunted because of Brian Wilson alone and the success of One Week. Brian Wilson is “a song that tells the story of a man whose life parallels that of Beach Boys member Brian Wilson, particularly during his time spent with psychologist Eugene Landy after Wilson was diagnosed with mental illness, and, more generically, with lyrics about suffering from comorbid mental illness and obesity.” The live version is better. Also, who can’t remember trying to learn the words and singing along to One Week? Sorry, I fizzled out at the end of this list.
Jkash told me about this clip and I’ll always do my best to post whenever someone submits me a video of interest. This “guy” looks like Rodman. I also like how he always uses his manner with ma’am.
“A piece of burger from Burger King”
“Twisted round like a tornado, girl”
I can’t explain why but I enjoy this immensely. @ 35 seconds when his head sprouts up. The way he is able to change his voice tone and speed for comedic effect. When the hosts asked if he wants to do you want do True Colors and he responds with “do YOU want me to do True Colors.” Plus his singing is really good. What a talent.
With 674k followers, AmandaEliseLee is the absolute best Instagram follow. This girl’s proportions are out of this world. She seriously must do 1,000 squats a day. A quarter off her ass would trampoline into outer space. I’m sure her boobs are fake but she doesn’t have a butter face (everything but her face) like others who have sick bodies. This girl is the tits! Lindsey Pelas and Claire Abbott are also good follows.
Hollywood✌️ A photo posted by AmandaLeeFitness (@amandaeliselee) on
A photo posted by AmandaLeeFitness (@amandaeliselee) on
Off topic but if you saw my post yesterday (scroll down) you’d know who Saint Hoax is and how this account is about to explode. It was at 20k yesterday and already got 20k more followers from the speed of the internet.
This book was released on February 1st, 2015. It’s a 336 page work of fiction that I read in 2 days (~6 hours) because I enjoyed it that much. I was enthralled thorugh 90% of it and was disappointed by the end. I thought I had it figured out at 71% but this book twists and turns.
It follows an alcoholic named Rachel whose life is a mess. She rides a train and gets herself involved in other people’s lives from what she sees on the train. She gets black out drunk one night and visits her ex-husband and a major event occurs which she spends the rest of the novel piecing together. The author must have been an alcoholic because she is pinpoint on Rachel’s character and what alcoholics go through.
The story unfolds with more details told by date (and time of day) which was initially confusing but you get used to. There are 3 characters who tell the story from their perspective which was a neat way of understanding how each character perceives their world. The book definitely kept you guessing which is why I enjoyed it. It is also being made into a movie so if you don’t read it, you’ll hear about it.