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About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Being a Tard With Your Phone

This post could probably go on for an eternity but I’ll pick a few that I find more annoying than most.

  • Kill me.

    Kill me.

    Recording live concerts or events – I have no problem if you want to take a picture to remind yourself of being at a certain event. I don’t even care if you take a 10 second clip of the action surrounding you. However, what is the point of recording minutes of footage of where you are? Are you planning on going back and re-watching the shitty footage you took? You know who I’m talking about too. The person who holds their phone up real high over their heads to get a shot that no one wants to see so they can show their friends how cool they are. The process of photographing and taking video footage needs moderation.

  • noodlesandriceSharing Food on Instagram – Nobody cares what you eat. They aren’t there to try it with you. What is the point of showing what you’re eating? Normally people won’t share poor people food (this could be a billion dollar idea) so it’s only for people who are pretentious and eating a high end meal and want to show off. Pathetic. Sharing alcohol is always ok. The bigger, the better.
  • maxresdefaultPlaying Games Instead of Interacting – I’ve become way more lenient with people using their cell phones at functions like dinners or events but I draw the line at game playing. Not only is game playing rude when in company, it’s lame as can be. I’ve played Candy Crush. You are literally spending time in one of the lowest forms of entertainment possible. There was a guy who I bowled with who played some baseball or NASCAR game instead of paying attention.
  • texting-driving-newText Driving – An obvious problem that has to be the leading cause of accidents. It’s impossible to text on your phone and be alert when you’re driving. Rear ending other cars has to have spiked 1,000%. Talking on the phone is way better than texting and driving. Youtube watching has to be right up there. Not a good look.

Would it kill a guy for a Gourlay comment? Are you still alive?

By |2016-05-19T16:09:05-04:00May 19th, 2016|My Life|1 Comment

Hard Work is the Key to Life

Do you think you’ll ever retire?
I don’t know what that is. There’s always some way to serve. And I never felt like I had a job. – Prince

howardandstevemartinSome people are born with talent and other’s work for it. On an interview with Howard Stern, Steve Martin explained how he isn’t naturally funny and it was hard work that vaulted him to stardom. Tweaking each piece of his act until it was perfect was his motive. I read similar thoughts from Prince in an article for Rolling Stone.

prince

“The Kid” in Purple Rain

Prince had to be reminded to eat. He’d rather not interrupt his work than eat. This is the devotion you have to have to your craft in order to rise to the highest levels. It’s the same story over and over again. Grow up with some struggle with your family, fall in love with whatever it is you were born to do, don’t stop doing it until you are the best. Literally spend every second of every day performing your craft. How hard can it be?

Unfortunately not many people are given the opportunity to do this. Life gets in the way. The large majority of us may be moderately talented but not ungodly gifted. So it is possible for us moderately talented people to achieve next level status we just have to stop eating.

brettbrownstubhub

Put those advertising dollars to work.

There’s this other little problem that’s called work. I love when people say, “I love my job. It hardly feels like work because it’s what I love to do.” Most of us don’t feel that way. I like that my job gives me the flexibility of a non-corporate environment but I’d rather spend my time Photoshopping ridiculous pictures onto celebrities and writing about news stories. All I’d have to do is take a few writing classes and blog incessantly. I bet I could get more readers than I have currently.

Is there any point to this post. Not really except that it’s the same idea for success. Work hard. Give your entire being to your work. It’ll take months, years, or decades, but eventually you’ll see the fruits of your labor as long as you aren’t a pussy and understand what work is. Most don’t.

By |2016-05-18T08:23:12-04:00May 18th, 2016|My Brain|0 Comments

Robert From Shark Tank’s AMA

DgxUW3eZ

You seem like you are SIGNIFICANTLY less of a scumbag than the other sharks. Is that true and if so, why?

[–]robertherjavec007[S] 45 points

i had to answer this one. scumbag is a relative term.

 

Is Mr. Wonderful as cranky off the show as on it?

[–]robertherjavec007[S] 602 points

Mr Wonderful wouldn’t say he’s cranky. he would say he speaks the truth all the time… so yes – he’s that Cranky. all the time,

 

How much of the pitches on shark tank are cut? It seems like it’s really fast paced, with little time for thought, and I was wondering how close this is to the real thing.

[–]robertherjavec007[S] 405 points

very real. except the time line. average pitch is about an hour. longest was over 2.5. it all gets edited down to 7-8 minutes

 

mark-cuban

I need an answer in the next 5 seconds.

Hi Robert. Thanks for doing this AMA.

Something I’ve always wanted to know about Shark Tank: sometimes a shark will make an offer but “I need an answer right now”. I’ve considered that perhaps this was done to limit bidding wars. And yet at other times sharks seem completely content to enter bidding wars. What factors drive the “I need to know now” offers?

Second question I have is, when you were first pitched the idea of the show (Dragons Den / Shark Tank), did you realize that so many people would watch it as much to learn business lessons as for entertainment?

Thanks!

[–]robertherjavec007[S] 48 points

WHO KNOWS! the show, just like all business is fluid and unpredictable. it comes at you full on. sometimes we just feel like it and sometimes we are more comfortable to be “nice”. it can turn on a dime. when i was first pitched Dragon’s Den I had no idea. no one saw it coming. loved the idea of giving people an opportunity to share their ideas with the masses. can’t believe how far we’ve come!

In with the new.

In with the new.

 

Are you marrying Kym?!????

[–]robertherjavec007[S] 18 points

yes I am!!!

 

 

The Questions That Didn’t Get Answered

shark-tank-investor-says-this-is-the-one-thing-you-need-to-master-before-going-on-the-show[–]VagnalDischarge0 points

You are a leach on society. It’s nice to have stuff. But at what point and how much stuff do you really need? I don’t see how you contribute to society other than to drain as much money from others as possible. Scum.

The other sharks always seem so dismissive of you and want to cut you out. Do you think that is true and if true why do they?

Robert, what’s the secret to becoming rich?

May I please borrow $5 to buy some marijuana?

Hey you make investments!

Put A Commercial 3d Printer (size of a room, capable of making big stuff.) on the back of a self driving electric 18 wheeler, You still have space left on the back, so put a drone bay there. Wrap the whole thing in solar energy collecting film.

The truck drives to places, makes objects people can order from their phones, collects energy to run itself, and delivers the objects.

I have been trying to get someone to make this thing for ages, who the hell do I talk to?

Video I made poorly while attempting to show people how I blog. I think the music was internal which I failed to realize and thus too loud throughout. I’m sure I butchered Robert’s name. I also hit the repeat button on Spotify and not the shuffle. Quality wasn’t half bad though.

By |2016-10-28T15:35:06-04:00May 17th, 2016|Celeb|1 Comment

The People-less World

2 examples from this weekend that show that activities are better when it’s just your group, and no one else around.

  • ThinkstockPhotos-513447301On Friday, the forecast called for rain and I was looking to play golf with Bud and Chris. We arrived at the course and the employee said he was expecting heavy showers shortly and didn’t think it was a great idea to play. We decided to give it a try considering we drove an hour to get there. The rain was on and off for the first 6 holes and then stopped completely. We had the entire course to ourselves for the final 12 holes and it was a golf dream come true. No waiting. Perfect pace of play. No distractions. We walked the course in 3 hours. You can’t ask for a better round of golf.
  • pOt0dk7On Saturday, I bowled with Sam and Jordan. Any experienced person working the register staggers the lanes when it’s not that crowded. We were one of the first people there and they put us on 11. In the next 15 minutes, the cashier put groups on 16, 15, 14, 13, and 12 leaving the middle lanes completely open. Instead of bowling next to Liu Kang and his 2 little ninja’s, we asked to move lanes and bowled with no one else around until we were just about finished. Bowling can be fine when you are surrounded by people who enjoy improving but can suck when you have little tykes using the Stegosaurus and bumpers.

Both examples point out how it’s better to be doing activities when it isn’t crowded. Aside from a bar, and even this has to have an ideal number, more people equals less fun. More waiting. More time wasted. More chance of idiots.

2016-04-24-1461512457-3567665-Driverlesscar1433This leads me to the next topic which is going to be driver-less cars using the GPS to take you from A to B. No more Uber where you have an insane driver who is blasting music and going 100 mph. Based off of previous experiences, I won’t be against not having to deal with a person taking me places. As I mentioned, dealing with people you don’t want to is not one of the joys of life. This will be my future mantra, the less people = the more fun.

Self Driving Car Article

By |2016-05-17T08:46:13-04:00May 17th, 2016|My Brain|1 Comment

Finally Out of the Winter Funk

Picture from this morning.

Picture from this morning.

It’s 6:51am and I’ve been up since 5:06. I went to sleep at 11pm after watching the Spurs make efforts to come back but OKC kept finding momentum killers. I haven’t had a drink (I had a beer at dinner) since Monday and am firing on all cylinders this Friday. I went for a 40 minute run this morning because I wasn’t going to be able to do so this afternoon. I’m golfing with the Schmidt’s this afternoon which is an event I always look forward to. I’m hoping it doesn’t rain. I also will be purchasing a new driver in the near term which adds excitement to golf.

a9b8ae98a0bcc964913f98825637e4ddNow that the weather is starting to warm up, I’m feeling like I can back in the groove of productive living. I started my Photoshop studying so you can expect more contest posts as I experiment with filters and adjustments. I know I made the last one too easy if Mark got it. I also started reading again which I haven’t been doing. I seem to switch through phases of TV and movie watching vs. reading. The reading is much more thought provoking but the movie watching is much easier. Obviously I tend to feel better about myself during the reading phase. On one more side note, I watched Commando for the first time. I couldn’t possibly maintain a blog without mentioning this scene.

I need you to shoot a 59.

I need you to shoot a 59.

This weekend should be pretty fun too with the Players going on and my need for Henrik “King Crab” Stenson to not get cut. I also have a golf outing early Sunday morning which gives me a perfect reason for not getting hammer drunk on Saturday. I expect to throw some bowling in there as well. Since I got a fresh haircut yesterday, it’s the start of a new season. I ended up with Gerry, even though I prefer Nick, but never seem to get him because I the other guys always look at me hoping I’ll choose them whereas Nick doesn’t give a fuck. Aside from that, all is good and I’ll try to get a Saturday post in.

 

By |2016-05-13T07:29:55-04:00May 13th, 2016|My Life|1 Comment

Setting a Standard

After reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values, I developed a better understanding of quality. Quality is how good or bad something is. In life, you should always be striving for the best quality of any and everything.

Self

Lion-and-KittenI chose the Arnold featured image because it speaks to exactly what it means by achieving the greatest quality body. Your body is your vehicle through this life. Those that don’t maintain it immediately speak to their value system. We all aren’t going to be Arnold but setting a high standard for yourself and your body is as good a place as any to start.

User Comments

One thing I’ve seen going to the gym, is you never see people laughing or making jokes on your expense, for lets say, not lifting enough or not doing the exercises perfectly. This is because all those people that look great now and lift 100kg, they had to work hard to get there and know how it feels to be a newcomer.

This might seem shallow, but this is exactly the reason why I (and probably many others) don’t find overweight women attractive. No one wants to be fat, if you are that tells me that either you don’t care about your own well-being enough to work out, or you do care but are too lazy to work for a change. Either way I value personal health and work ethic too much to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t. (And let’s face it, being obese isn’t attractive either)

 

# of Views

tdy_or_charlie_150501.today-inline-vid-featured-desktopDepending on how many views or comments content gets speaks to the quality of the subject. If I write a post that generates 0 comments, I can be fairly certain that I didn’t do a very good job. Videos on YouTube that get millions of views aren’t randomly getting these views. There is a compelling factor to these videos which is driving said traffic. Being able to know ahead of time whether content will go viral is an incredible skill that shows your ability to see quality. The smart minority of civilization strive to understand this.

 

Betting

oosthuizen-swing

The perfect golf swing

Betting is a good way of showing that you can identify quality. Betting on sports is more of a “fuck you Vegas” than it is about making money. I want to prove that I’m smarter than the odds makers. This is obviously not the case as I’ve lost thousands of dollars sports betting over my lifetime but I don’t play over my head, so I got that going for me. This is why you see me recommending golfers like Louie and horses like Exaggerator. I see quality and want to make a name for myself as being able to identifying quality. Alas, I seem very good at picking 2nd place which is a great way to lose money.

 

 

My High Standard

7m1uI0NAll I want to do is bowl a 300 and I’ll be satisfied. I’m not going out to bowl and have a good time (which I do anyway). I want to start every game with a string of strikes until eventually I roll 12 in a row. I’m well aware that I’m not going to be a professional bowler but I’m also not trying to be a squid. Once I get tired of bowling, I’ll move on to another endeavor but for now, I like to bowl to continuously improve my standard. I try to do this with all that I do.

 

 

By |2016-05-11T20:42:28-04:00May 11th, 2016|My Brain|1 Comment

You Didn’t Ask For It, You Got It

Google Maps is Better Than Waze

Clear as day.

Clear as day.

Apple users just muttered, “you’re an idiot” but hear me out. First of all, know that Waze is owned by Google. Most IPhones don’t have Google Maps installed on them and Waze is significantly better than Apple Maps, so IPhone users are going to be biased towards Waze because they haven’t even tried Google Maps (what else is new).

interfacesI’ve seen both in action and prefer Google Maps because I don’t care much about the social interaction that Waze users revel about. Contemplating that people in their cars are reaching for their phones and tapping in that they just passed a police officer so that hundreds of other users can also be distracted by their phones to agree with this sighting is beyond me. From my understanding, Waze does provide a more sophisticated means of wrapping around traffic which I’m sure is great if you want to save 2 minutes off your 30 minute commute.

The real reason I’m dropping the hammer on Waze is that it’s strictly for driving. I want an app that does it all and I can’t begin to tell you how important Google Maps was when I was abroad. Seeing a map, entering a destination, and then having walking directions was incredibly useful. I’ve also driven hundreds of miles on road trips and have never, ever found Google Maps to provide false information. It’s reliable and rarely misses its time estimates.

User comment:

They try too hard to turn themselves to a social app while all I want to do is get from point A to B…

Exactly this. I have no interest in chatting via that app, not to mention I’m, you know, driving. Give me the alerts and allow me to post new ones, and that’s it. That’s what makes Waze useful.

 

Goose Island Makes Soft Beer

Goose_Island_BrewpubGoose Island was bought by AB InBev in 2011 for 38.8 million dollars and is no longer considered a craft brewery. AB stands for Anheuser Busch which make Budweiser, Corona, and Stella. What I truly don’t like is that Goose Island is still trying act like a craft brew. When I drink a Corona or a Bud, I know what I’m getting. It’s not faking me out that it’s being produced by a billion dollar company. I’d still drink their IPA if it was the best available choice but I’d choose Yuengling over it.  This goes hand in hand with the ridiculous notion of the beer named Budweiser to go by the name “America” this summer.

User comment:

“Sir, we’ve been slowly losing market share for years to craft brewers, what will we do?”
“Buy them out.”
“We tried that sir, it doesn’t seem to have worked. What can we do?!”
“I have one word for you: NATIONALISM”

 

The Sugarhouse is Turning Into a Good Casino

sugarhouse-casino-exterior2-900VP-587x0I’m proud to say at least I know that my money is being put to good use. I visited the Sugarhouse for my monthly donation last week and was surprised to see an increased amount of security which is a good move. It keeps the trash out. They also added a Geno’s Cheesesteaks and a Tacconelli’s for pizza to the main dining areas as well as a sit down steak house. The poker room has been moved out of the tent into an actual room and is fine to play at. The bottom line is that after 3 years of taken people’s money, they have expanded (a huge extra section and parking garage have been added) into what I consider is Philly’s #1 casino destination. It still has a way to go, don’t get me wrong, but improvements are happening at a rapid pace and I don’t see them stopping.

Here’s a live cam of the construction.

By |2016-05-10T23:01:32-04:00May 10th, 2016|My Brain|4 Comments

This Blog

tumblr_m9010sXDqf1qdhag9o1_500I’m well aware that this blog has not been firing on all cylinders. It’s hard to explain exactly why but it has to do with not blogging shitty material. Of course I can find content on Reddit and re-post it like most of the “bloggers” do but I’m growing out of it. This is why if my creative juices aren’t flowing, I won’t post anything new. These stretches don’t last forever though and one day a lightning bolt can strike the tip of my penis and invigorate me with blogging wisdom that can last for weeks. I also have been pretty bland with bowling a lot but will plan on adding onto my Photoshop abilities in the near term. Stay tuned.

By |2016-05-10T17:01:17-04:00May 10th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

How Was Your Weekend?

tumblr_nl4840Phpf1s9362xo1_500Mine was not so good financially. On Friday I spent about $1,500 dollars to make some home improvements which sucks in my opinion. I then proceeded to lose $400 playing poker when my AK lost to KK (which was supposed to the happen but the timing and the player who got me wasn’t) and  I needed to fade 7 flush outs to an AI player on the turn. Then my golf round got washed out on Saturday where I bowled instead and rolled 195 avg for 8 games which I was pleased with. Bud also threw up some nice games (224 high) with a house ball. I could pretty much take all of that but then I started drinking with Evan and Adam at around 1pm and my certainty in Exaggerter starting getting out of hand. I put $156 on him to win which turned out to be 1 1/2 lengths incorrect. Send him to the glue factory. By the end of the night I wasn’t even sure where I was anymore but I woke up at 8am to stumble to an Uber to get my car which had a $26 dollar ticket on it from illegal parking. I ended up passing out through Mother’s Day brunch and then to add ultimate insult to injury, the McGrath’s beat Sam and I in 2v2 where I don’t think I could have played worse. All in all, it was a pretty tough weekend but, as always, life will improve.

By |2016-05-09T15:40:54-04:00May 9th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments
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