I saw an Oracle ad in the WSJ that says “beats IBM once again”. I have a big problem with ads like this that claim they are better than their competitors. A really strong, confident company doesn’t need to tell you that they are superior to others. Their products or service should do the talking. By feeling the need to tell me this, I actually think they are worse. Now obviously most people don’t think like this or else Oracle wouldn’t run the ad but this just really make me not want to do business with the company.

It works the same with people too. If you need to be told you are faster, stronger, or better than other people, than you are walking around with a trait that isn’t helpful. Feelings of this nature should all be derived within yourself. You shouldn’t have to compare yourself to others to feel good about yourself. If you need to slander other people to make yourself feel better, that isn’t attractive. That’s why I won’t buy from Oracle.

I’ve had some human interaction lately that I think is interesting and I want to share with my diminishing blog audience. I find that many people aren’t myself and do things differently than I would. I’ve become mature enough to realize I’m not right and they’re not wrong, but learning from everyone is a part of growing. I also want to point out that I don’t actually know all of these people below but I hear stories and it’s more the concepts than who the actual people are.

The first people I want to write about are two people who are an item. They have been boyfriend / girlfriend on and off. At some point in the relationship one of the sides said this isn’t working, let’s split up. However long this period lasts is really inconsequential because they are back together. A possible reason they get back together is because they are both getting older and they don’t want to restart the process so they just put up with each other. I think this is the biggest tragedy you can do with your life. Spend it with someone who you just tolerate. I think to truly live a fulfilled life you have to find true love and that will spare you this situation.

The next interaction I had with someone I will call “character defined”. This person has had no handouts, no parents paying for college, no money to blow, and has worked for everything that he has. Paying for everything on his own hasn’t allowed a huge savings build up and money is an issue. This person embodies the US and can appreciate what they have worked for and earned. You can never take that away from someone. Paris Hilton will never be able to stand with her head held high next to people like this despite all the money in the world.

I’m not very good with text messaging and people get annoyed with me. In one particular case I had someone scolding me for not returning a text which is completely fine. However in the deliverance of chiding, he wasn’t making any eye contact with me. I would be looking directly at him and he was staring away into other directions. I can handle anything you want to say and no one should ever be afraid to tell me anything but look at me and tell me I’m doing something stupid, it has more impact. I had a similar situation where I was talking to a guy and he was staring straight ahead when he was talking to me. Almost no eye contact. There was just no personal connection and the conversation become completely meaningless and distant. I’m not good with eye contact, but I understand the importance.

Even though it’s been 2 days I’m going to sum up my business trip because I think people might find this different. I woke up at around 5:30 on Wednesday with the intent of reaching Baltimore at 8 or so. I set the alarm for 5:15 but I didn’t set it right and was running 20 minutes behind schedule. For the next 8 hours or so I visited the following cities in this order: Churchville, Baltimore, Beltsville, Laurel, Hyattsville, Brentwood, Bladensburg, Capitol Heights, and Alexandria. I saw about 20 different customers this first day. Everyone always asked well how many sales did you make? The answer is quite simple that it doesn’t matter. You get so much information from being on the road that sales are really secondary because trips like this improve you personally and make you a better salesman. I stayed in a hotel for 99 bucks that has an IHOP that I like to eat for breakfast.

On day 2 I did indeed eat my IHOP and was headed to Fredericksburg. I mistakenly missed a stop in Lorton but after Fredericksburg I hit Manassas, Bethasda, and finished up in Rockville. I probably only hit about 15 customers because this required a bit more driving. I closed the trip driving up 95 which turned into be a traffic nightmare. There was nothing worse hustling for 2 straight days only to sit in traffic when all I wanted to do was go home. It was really a successful trip though because it enables me to personalize relationships and try to get people to buy from me because they like me. I do a good job with this type of trip in becoming friendly with people we do business with. It’s sort of surprising how easy it is to talk to someone you are trying to sell compared to trying to pick up some random girl. Nevertheless I have a few different trips scheduled in the next week or so and I’ll try to keep everyone updated. There were a few key opportunities on this trip that I would like to take advantage of. That is the goal.

You will be deprived of any posts for the next two days. Upsetting and disappointing, I know. I will spend the next two days heading down to the Baltimore area, the surrounding beltways, and making it as far south as Fredericksburg before heading back to see Bethesda and as far North as Hagerstown if time permits. Now this is a monumental task. I believe this will be the 4th or 5th time I’ve made this trip by myself and the last few times was kids play compared to this. I know the area, I know the maps, I know where I want to go, I know what I want to try to do. I mapped out about 60 various customers in locations up and down that area that I can potentially see. Some old, some new, and some I might have to try to win back. What I’m trying to do was impossible 20 years ago. Probably even 10 years ago. With GPS and Google I can map out the perfect route to hit as much as I can. I don’t even know if it’s possible to hit that many people but I’m sure as hell going to try. It requires a lot of driving and a good mindset to be sharp with all of the people you’ll encounter. It’s kind of funny because when I’m put in business situations I don’t have any anxiety with people because I have a clear cut purpose. There isn’t any bullshit, just sales.

Unless you are a sales rep on the road all the time, many people don’t have this opportunity to present them self in front of customers and try to win business. It’s a really interesting task that is one of those things that you get better at the more you do it. Now that I have my route down and I have no worries finding my destinations, it comes down to selling. I can actually take a different approach then most people because I’m more than just a salesman. If I don’t get the sale, it’s ok, my paycheck isn’t exactly derived from the commissions I make. I go into these stores for something more important than just the sale, KNOWLEDGE. I want to know what their customers are buying, why they are buying them, what I can do to learn how to find a potential profit center. I have to want to develop relationships and listen intently to what people are telling me. Taking notes, marking competitors prices, hearing anything I can about the industry is valuable. Trips like these are the heart of business. Years ago I didn’t have the experience to work this trip right. Today, I’ve turned into something powerful through hard work and growth. This isn’t a kids game anymore.

I want to give some insight on how I spend my time. I’ve been alive for approximately 10,350 days. That’s 248,400 hours of time. Let’s just deduct 40,000 hours because for 5 years of development I’m not sure you can really accomplish anything but the basics. Another 1/3rd of those hours are going to be used for sleeping and that’s just an approximation. That gives about 133,000 hours of lets say “practice”. What we are practicing for is actually a really good question that I’m not going to get into in this post. 1600 hours a year are being put towards school and from 5 to 21 is 16 years. That’s another 25,000 hours. For the past 7 years we add another 2000 hours of work or 14,000 more hours. This will gives us a bit less than 100,000 hours of free time to do whatever we want. Malcom Gladwell says that to be an expert on something you need to have practiced the task for 10,000 hours. With this simple computation, I could be an expert on about 10 things. Alas, I am not. In this next paragraph I will give you an idea of hour I have spent these 100,000 free hours to do whatever I want.

– The most obvious thing is running. 4 full high school years with 3 seasons each of XC and track plus everything after that have accumulated to more than 10,000 hours. It’s why I started rnningforum.com. It’s something I actually know about.

– I wasted a ton of time playing video games in high school and through some of college. Platform games on NES, Genesis, N64, Playstation, Playstation2. Xbox, and all the Blizzard games. Plus who can forget my absolute favorite Soldier of Fortune. I think I can attribute another 10,000 hours to this. Possibly more. Possibly way more. It’s why I have an aversion to games at my age because I realize how much time was wasted doing this. Sure it’s fun but it doesn’t really develop much but your mind and hand eye.

– I have started reading a lot. I’ve read all the Game of Thrones, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the Hunger Games, Klosterman, Gladwell, Ayn Rand, Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell, books on negotiation, self help, and all the other nooks and crannies. I get enjoyment out of reading and I have read more than the average person. That’s why when I write that to call the Hunger Games great is laughable when comparing to actual books where characters are actually developed.

– Games have been a part of my life. From basketball, baseball, soccer, golf, table tennis, pool, poker, chess, and many others pique my interest. I usually play them until I get to the point where I realize that I can’t get any better and there is no point of continuing on. In baseball I quit before pitchers started throwing curveballs. In basketball I quit when I was cut from the 7th grade team. I basically put forth effort to get relatively good and then get tired and do something else. These are all leisure activities and I treat them as such. I have no competitive nature. I want to win but don’t care if I do if that makes sense. I try as hard as I can and that’s where I leave it.

– TV and Movies – I’ve watched a good amount of quality programming. From Sopranos, to the Wire, to Dexter, to Breaking Bad, to Full House, to Saved by the Bell, to Family Matters, to Doug the list goes on and on. This can probably be considered a waste of time but at least it’s entertainment and not destructive.

– Drinking finishes this list. I’m an expert at drinking. If I give you advice on drinking its because I know practically all there is to know. I know what beers are good values and what beers are a waste of money. I know this last category is ridiculous but I’ve spent a lot of time at it. This is one obvious place I’ve spent my time. My opinion means something when it comes to getting drunk.

That’s it in a nut shell. I just summed up my life in a blog entry. It’s that simple. I picture the Earth and the 6 or 7 billion people on it and wonder what others would write if they did this exercise. It’s sad that I just did this in half an hour. Is your list much better?

Late Saturday night I was talking with Steve and Arpita after a night of drinking. We were discussing relationships, or my lack thereof, and Arpita thought that going shopping with me and going out on some dates with her friends or through the internet was a good idea. At 2 am this sounded like a terrific idea and I agreed to make it happen because she was ecstatic I would become her Barbie. This will all be documented through the blog which I’m sure will make for interesting material.

So why does it take a concerted effort to make something like this happen? Do I not have the ability to go to the mall and then find girls myself? Of course the answer is yes I do but the reality of the situation is that I don’t. Having a spur to make you do something will sometimes force it to happen. However, I still wonder why I prefer solitude to company. The solitary person is me. The REAL me. When I’m by myself I do things that I like. I can read, watch TV, play games, or whatever it is that at that moment in time I feel like doing. I don’t have responsibility for anyone else and there’s no real life pressure. It’s the most conservative way to live on this planet. I don’t engage fully in society because I basically don’t have to. I have to make myself be social for various reasons.

1) Fulfillment. You can’t achieve total satisfaction by being a loner. An Orson Wells quote, “We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” I have some really good friendships and I know that they will be with me for life. This makes me want to break myself from any shell.
2) Experience. The person who doesn’t do anything, doesn’t live life. You are given a short period of time on Earth to experience all it has to offer. There probably isn’t any better answer to the purpose of life other than to experience it. It’s completely possible to experience life by yourself but close friends and family to experience it with is what truly counts.
3) Growth. You don’t even realize it when you are living but you are constantly maturing as an individual. Every day you learn and try to better yourself. Relationships help improve your being. Interacting with people is essential to becoming the person you want to be. You learn from other people what you like or dislike about them and see how that can relate to yourself.

Those points being noted I still find myself feeling off in social situations. On Saturday I went to a bar to watch the NCAA games with 2 people I knew and 20 I didn’t. This is a hard situation to master. It isn’t fun at times when you are standing there basically forcing yourself to communicate with someone just so you don’t have to be alone. Some people thrive in social situations like this and there is none of this awkwardness I speak of. For the rest of us, I hope I’m not alone.

So when it comes to going out on dates and looking for someone to share my life with, it doesn’t come naturally for me. I’m looking for a very specific person and it’s this reason I’m very judgmental and make excuses for why it won’t work instead of finding ways to make it work. I’m looking for someone who is out of school because I’ve been working for 6 years directly out of college and that part of my life is finished. Someone who isn’t going to spaz if I don’t respond to a text message or miss calls. No drama. We get along and enjoy spending time together. I also have to be ready to say “ok, I’m ready to be responsible.” I sort of thought that I’d miraculously find this person but there requires some involvement on my end to make this happen. It’s not the fear of rejection as much as it’s the fear of a lifestyle change.

I don’t usually get this introspective but sometimes they make for good entries. Readers can relate to how I perceive things from a first hand view on this date in time. 1 week from now I may feel completely different. And so it goes.

I noticed one of the most annoying, obnoxious things to say while in a conversation with a stranger, “my boyfriend…” I suppose this happens more often as you get older because more people have had a chance to be together longer but even with randos and the bar I hear it. I’m sure this could also be attributed to my less than Casanova-like deliverance. Example, I went up to this girl and introduced a conversation and her reply was I feel miserable, to which I responded why, and she said something like my ex-boyfriend yada yada. After that I really had no more interest in talking to her. It could be one of the biggest turn offs hearing about someone who you don’t knows boyfriend. I believe that this is probably just a defense mechanism for their insecurity but it’s still wildly annoying. Next time anyone brings up their significant other in the first 1 minute of meeting them I’m just turning my back and walking away.