We Don't Walk Slow

Say Your Name

Dear Anonymous Messenger,

In the days of cell phones it makes sense to think that you don’t have to introduce yourself when calling someone else. Your name is always displayed on the, well, display. As someone in business who answers the phone quite often, I can’t stand when people don’t say who it is and expect you to know who they are when they first talk. At work we have landlines and it doesn’t display anything which makes every call a mystery. Today I had someone call and leave a message that went like this, “Hey John and Tom, it’s *garble garble* and I need some items. Give me a call back.” No number, name was inaudible (almost comical to the point that it was the only part of the message that was unclear), and I have no chance in hell recognizing the person’s voice. I probably answer 25 calls a day and there is no way I can decipher every person’s voice. Plus you make me feel like an idiot when you know who you are talking to and make me guess who I’m talking to. Anytime I guess wrong, you think I don’t know who you are. So do me a favor, say who it is when you call people. It’s different for people you speak to on a regular basis, but if it’s every so often, just say your name, say your name, say your name.

By Tom Stortz|2013-05-28T10:58:54-04:00May 28th, 2013|My Life|0 Comments

Quality Counts

My post count has been low the last few days. Mainly because I’ve doing rather than writing. With Laura’s wedding, some golf, and now JKash’s wedding, I haven’t found the time to sit and put some effort into posts. This makes sense though because in past years I would have recapped every little thing that happened in the past few days and thought that I was making a quality post. With almost 1,500 posts in the books, I have to keep up with what I believe is improving the blog. This doesn’t mean that Laura’s wedding wasn’t one of the most important things in my life, it means that I’m not a person who signs up for a marathon and has my camera out as I cross the finish line. My goal in life isn’t to get material for this blog so other people can enjoy what I have to share. A better approach, for me at least, is to make the most out of those events WHILE THEY ARE HAPPENING. So as this blog has developed, I’m trying to put more thought into the quality of the post before I just post it.

All that being said, my schedule will free up after Jon’s wedding and I should be able to concentrate on coming up with quality posts. Good posts aren’t created while your in the doing phase. They happen by coming up with a good topic and then filling it up with meaningful points and facts / ideas to back them up. Why do you think the rapitiude guy only posts once every 2 weeks? So moving forward I may be producing less posts, but hopefully better posts. I do have a feeling the new Arrested Development episodes will takeover the blog…

By Tom Stortz|2013-05-21T22:17:49-04:00May 21st, 2013|My Life|1 Comment

Gel Haircut

I don’t wear my hair with gel. I honestly can’t even remember the last time I have gone out with gel in my hair. Back as a little kid I used to mess around with my Mom’s mousse and spike my hair up and then think cracking it was the coolest thing. It’s not that I don’t think gelled hair can look good, it’s just not for me. My thought is that it is was trying too hard but considering all the ladies I pick up, maybe I need to try a little harder. I was thinking I should go with the feathered look.

I decided to get a haircut before the wedding to look as sharp as possible. I went to the same place I’ve been going to for the last 20 years and they had 4 of their regular barbers cutting. In my last 50 visits to this place, I’ve never have the female barber. This wasn’t anything intentional, she just wasn’t the first available person when I got there and I never seek out a barber. As luck have it this time, I got her. I could tell she was nervous at first because with so many visits and so few cuts, I could get the feeling she thought I avoid her at all costs. To top that off and add additional pressure, I told her this was for a wedding and that I needed to look good. So we talk about weddings, her travels, and other normal topics of conversation (she talked too quietly that I sometimes could only pick up 65% of what she said but it wasn’t atrocious) and as we get to the end she asks if I want to gel up my hair. I tell her that I usually keep it casual and after some debating she talked me into it. What do you think?

By Tom Stortz|2013-05-17T08:13:58-04:00May 17th, 2013|My Life|0 Comments

The Noobest

In my entire bar career I’ve never even seen an 8oz glass. Within Sam’s first year he was able to find a glass at a bar that quantifies ineptitude. It reminds me of Buster and his juice. I sort of understand the idea of not feeling like drinking a full beer but why you’d pay more for less and considering it’s only 8 oz’s of liquid, man up. People make fun of a 10 oz goblet that has high ABV, everyone will certainly ridicule the guy with an 8 oz glass. This picture should bring a smile to your face and give you a picture of a little guy ordering a little glass.

By Tom Stortz|2013-05-16T12:09:32-04:00May 16th, 2013|My Life|1 Comment

Bridge Over Troubled Franzia

A brief summary of yesterday was walking over the Ben Franklin bridge, puking, walking back over the Ben Franklin bridge. You’d think at 29 I’d know how to handle myself but you’d be wrong. A few of us bought tickets to the radio 104.5 birthday concert yesterday and I had planned on attending. However, a single shot of whiskey turned that idea into a disaster. After a few pre-game beers, we bought some boxed wine and started drinking it along the walk over the bridge to the Susquehanna center. Everything was fine until I took a swig of some whiskey and it was basically lights out. We ran into Nikkii and Ck4 and once I sat down, I started getting sick from the shot. Ck4 was talking to me and I puked up the wine right into my mouth and that caused me to vomit further. I started walking back towards the lawn and puking every couple of steps, it was pretty much a nightmare. After that I had to leave because I had throw up on my clothes and wasn’t enjoying the experience. I ended up trying to catch a cab but settled on walking back. Great concert though and 36 dollars well spent.

The night before was more of a success. I went to a charity event to save the Kid’s Castle which really went off without a hitch. I ended up buying 4 rounds of golf for 250 dollars which was beneficial to all parties involved. Ck4 was rolling in the raffle tickets but it was Sammy G who took home a Wawa gift basket. I also have to mention the dinner beforehand which took place at Country Place and was my first experience of a red neck hootenanny. Cheap beers and food made for a nice place. I’m not sure they had ever seen khaki’s before or have someone order the Prime Rib. The night was an overall enjoyable experience.

This write up was something because I know I haven’t posted in a few days. Everything is good and Laura’s wedding is this week which will be more events to attend.

By Tom Stortz|2013-05-13T12:55:48-04:00May 13th, 2013|My Life|0 Comments

Half Ideas

I’ve got what you’d call a lot of half ideas for the blog. They are exactly what you’d think they are, ideas that I want to make into posts but only have half the post. I have topics, but only 2 examples. I have stories, but only half worth it to tell. This is both good and bad. It’s good because it’s better than nothing but it’s bad because I have nothing to post. I also don’t have the time to turn halves into fulls because I’m going away tomorrow on business and have to rest early tonight. I think Saturday may be a key writing day though because I have the Broad St on Sunday and will be staying sober for the weekend. I would like to try to get a round of golf in but other than that I’m pretty much free. There is also a radio 104.5 concert going on at the Piazza which I would like to try to go to but being sober isn’t nearly as much fun. This post is only checking in to let you know that the ideas are brewing, just not finished. I feel an outburst of posts in the near future.

By Tom Stortz|2013-05-01T22:05:31-04:00May 1st, 2013|My Life|1 Comment

American Odyssey 2013 – Pictures

How do you feel?
Like a million bucks. But a million bucks isn’t what it used to be.

This little pit stopped occurred in the middle of a highway where I wasn’t sure which way to go. When you’re in a van with people who don’t know you, this doesn’t exactly instill confidence.

Our van for the weekend. Notice my horns.

Van Fun

Bandaged up

Nikkii showing her amazing balancing skills with the creamers at Perkins.

Me with a nice background of the Capital

By Tom Stortz|2013-04-29T21:10:38-04:00April 29th, 2013|My Life|2 Comments

American Odyssey Relay 2013 – Part 3

Part 2 here.

It was about 2:30 am and we didn’t really have a good game plan so we decided to head to the next part of the race which was about an hour away. In hindsight, I think we should have gotten some pancakes at the Bavarian House. Nevertheless, I got behind the wheel and SIRI sent us to a blank part of West Virginia and after an hour of driving we arrived at a deserted John Poole High School. Bob took the field but the rest of us huddled up in the van for a few hours of shut eye. I closed my eyes and instantly fell asleep and awoke 2 hours later at 6am. Much to my surprise, the high school opened exactly at 6 and I was able to drop the kids off at the pool which is always annoying at a relay like this. The timing of this made it so there was no line and no problems. The morning was cold but the sun was out and it started to warm up fast. I spent another hour in the school gym where Ck4 and I got an extra hour of sleep. I managed to sit in gum which ruined my pants but that’s the price you pay sometimes. With a perfect weather day lined up, we were prepared for our 3rd and final set of legs.

Nice pants David

David had managed to get a good night’s sleep in the back part of the van, which he claimed as his realm, and was in full effect this morning. Unless you get to spend some time with David this sentence won’t mean much but let’s just say he has a certain edge to him. With Chad hurt, we decided to give Bob a new set of legs (4 & 4.8 miles) and shift David to Bob’s legs (4 to 6.8). I had an 8.3 mile leg and give these guys tremendous credit for stepping up because I wasn’t in shape to do so. Bob received the transition from Fran and this set us on course for our final runs. At this point Nikkii was behind the wheel in a crowded parking lot and after some slowness in getting to van, she felt rushed. In aggressive fashion, she was urging other vans to get the flip out of her way and at one point was riding close to a set of trees to the left and other vans on the right. David’s line of “Make it Happen” made her floor it through a tight space and some branches managed to knock our side view mirror off. We were all hysterically laughing during this highlight. We caught up to Bob who was running and Nikkii got to hold the mirror our of the window and use her “looking good” line to Bob. Hijinks aside, Bob worked through the first part of his two legs, took some water at the transition, and made it through his 2nd leg for a total of 8.8 miles. Thanks for that.

Bob and I on the Potomac

My 3rd run was a flat 8.3 mile run along a stretch of the Potomac. There isn’t much to comment on except that I got it done while finishing on E. There was no more gas in the tank. I did 6:40 miles for this leg and managed to pass about 10 people while enjoying a beautiful Saturday morning. I handed off to David who crushed his leg. I personally thought this was his best leg but he didn’t agree. Nikkii drove to the next part of the course and almost spazzed when the van had to clear a tunnel that’s height requirement was probably 6 inches higher than the van (why do we let Nikkii drive? Oh yeah, the stories!) We met Lisa at the next transition, who once again beat her projected time, and after her run handed off to Nikkii for the final leg of the race. We managed to head into DC without a hitch and awaited Nikkii at the finish line. There was some minor confusion during her leg but she finished without too much problem. Our finishing time was 27 hours and 32 minutes which was good for 6th place.

Our Final Leg

After finishing we got a beer and some food (which was sloppy Joe’s and a terrible choice if the race director reads this blog) and hung out for a little bit while we waited for the other team to complete their legs. This experience is truly one that I can’t describe only in this blog. You make acquaintances, have experiences, and develop connections in two days that you can’t find anywhere else. There is something about the sweaty, stinky, camaraderie of running that brings people together. As long as we keep fielding teams, I’ll continue signing up. I’m going to have one more post which will describe some of the randomness and better parts of the run but this 3 part post will give anyone who wants to know what happens in a 200 mile relay an idea. The first shower after this run is also one of the best you’ll ever have. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I liked being a part of it. Pictures here.

By Tom Stortz|2013-11-14T19:06:31-05:00April 29th, 2013|My Life|0 Comments

American Odyssey Relay 2013 – Part 2

Part 1 here.

Without keeping everyone in suspense, CK4’s head popped up over the horizon at his precise projected time and he threw me the band to send me on my way. I hadn’t even looked at the packet to see what type of run I had but it was 6.3 miles of trail, easy right? Not exactly. I had 15 minutes of straight uphill climb which I’ve never done in my entire life. Towards the end of the hill my legs were feeling the strain but I made it up without walking or slowing down. I had about 10 road kills, 6:30 mile pace and felt pretty good as I handed off to Bob for the next leg. Bob completed his leg with no problem and I want to point out that he showed up this year much improved over last year. This guy was ready for AOR and picked up the slack in a big way which I’ll mention in a later post. .

Bob after finishing his leg

Bob handed off to Lisa who had an easy run through the country side… except that we have a feeling this leg was longer than indicated on the packet. Lisa worked through the leg though as we found ourselves along the Mason-Dixon line and some beautiful countryside.

Nikkii by the Mason-Dixon Stand

Lisa handed off to Nikkii who is also a much improved runner from last year. She handled her leg with little van support while David had to check the tire pressure on the side of the street. She made it to the transition point right on pace and we had beaten our Van’s projected time by about 20 minutes which was fabulous. This transition point allowed us to meet up with the other Van 2 and go out to a dinner at Vento’s in Boonsboro for the 2nd year in a row. Boonsboro is a historic town in the boonies that I have to imagine doesn’t get much action. With AOR in town they tend to find themselves a bit overloaded. Nathan entertained us with his magic tricks and Nikkii with her straw dog dodging bullets while we patiently waited for food. We ordered a few pizzas but nobody was really into downing food with only a few hours until the next set of legs. We went to the high school and started preparing while Van 1 was running.

David taking care of his sister Lisa

Something that I wasn’t aware of was that no matter what time you finished the 18th leg, you couldn’t leave Boonsboro before 11pm. I believe Fran finished 23 minutes ahead of 11 and we had a bit of a break before we were set to run again. I was running around trying to figure out where everyone was and trying to get a game plan but everything sort of worked itself out. Chad’s first complaints were about the hill on Leg 1 and now that he was finished that he started complaining about his “bloody nipple.” Once bandaged up we figured we’d hear the end of the complaining… At 11pm David started his leg with about 50 other runners and it was really a cool sight seeing many headlamps under a full moon making their way through quiet streets. David handled his leg with no problem and handed off to our X-factor Chad who said that if he didn’t arrive at 31 minutes into his run, something went wrong. He hands off to me so I was anxiously awaiting his arrival at the transition. 31-32-33… He probably just fell off pace a bit, 34-35-36, uh oh…finally he came across and his running odyssey reached uncertainty.

My night run went fine but it wasn’t as good as last year’s run through Antietam. I only had 4.8 miles and forgot to time it but was probably in the < 6:20 range and I amassed 15 road kills. I handed off to Bob on the next leg and we headed to the next transition point. We met up with him about halfway and this proved to be a bit problematic as it didn't give us enough time to meet up at his finish which was a bit chaotic. He got there about a minute before Lisa did but it was handled with fine temperament. Bob did manage to lose his license along the way somehow. I believe Lisa felt much better on this run as she beat her projected time by a bit and handed off to Nikkii who only had 3 miles which didn't give us much time. We got to the transition point fine but Van 1 wasn't there yet so we had no one to hand off to. Bob was contacting Howard and asking him where he was and this was annoying David a bit who was ready to jump through the phone but this little mishap only caused about a 15 second delay as Jim was there to receive the bracelet shortly after Nikkii finished. This concluded our second set of legs and had us a bit ahead of our projected pace. However, Chad made us aware that he wouldn't be able to run his 3rd leg and we had to decide how to handle this. The joys of AOR and compromising situations (I think this was a Skinamax show in the 90's.) Part 3 here.

By Tom Stortz|2013-11-14T19:02:47-05:00April 29th, 2013|My Life|1 Comment

American Odyssey Relay 2013 – Make It Happen! – Part 1

Trying to summarize 4 jam packed days of American Odyssey Relay 2013 into a single entry doesn’t happen overnight especially when there are a ton of notable events so I’m going to break this down into a few parts. I’m sure I’ll forget some of the details so if you read this and want to add anything, do it in the comments section. A quick overview for those who are reading this and have never heard of AOR or a 200 mile relay. You assemble a team of 12 people and each take a set of “legs” that range from 3-9 miles. When your leg is up, you run it and hand off to the next person. When the 36 legs are finished, you’ll have traveled from Gettysburg to Washington DC in extraordinary fashion. This humorous video does a good job of explaining. After all the people read this post and see how great the trip was, I have a feeling Nathan will be moving from 2 teams to 3 teams next year. I’m going to write this post as a trip report from the moment it started to when it ended remembering any and everything I can.

Entire AOR Teams

I met up with Nathan, Jeff, and Jose at the Enterprise in Plymouth Meeting at 1:30pm on Thursday to pick up our new homes for the weekend. We drove to Nathan’s office and awaited for the teams to arrive. After getting settled, we drove 2 vans up to Shady Maple Smorgasbord in Lancaster for a buffet of immense magnitude. We arrived just as the early dinner crowd (+65) was finishing and for a mere 18 bucks, had enough food to last for days. This place had rows and rows of dishes and was a perfect choice for our type of crowd. The fruit punch was delicious and earned me the nickname “Kool-Aid”. We left Lancaster at 6:30 and drove the 1 and half hours to Gettysburg to arrive where the race was to begin. After checking into our hotel rooms we grabbed a few beers and socialized with the members of our team to get to know each other a little better. At 11pm we turned it in because our send off times were around 8 and 9 the next morning and this is the last real rest you get until the race is completed.

I look like I deserve to be a part of Shady Acres.

The 6th place finishing team

The next morning we packed up the vans, did some van decorating and cheered off our runners as the race got started. I took the Browns to the Super Bowl in the Wyndham restroom which was luxurious compared to what I knew the rest of the trip’s accommodations were like. Once both teams had started, we had planned a Segway tour around Gettysburg which had its stories. At the indoor Segway practice course you had to prove you could handle a Segway which was challenging for some (Ck4) but without much delay, we took to the streets. I found the Segway to be new at first but after a few minutes riding it, you get the hang. This idea was better than what we did last year which was wandering around Gettsyburg with no particular purpose. After an hour on the Segway and touring the area, we hopped off to meet our runners at the next transition point. My legs felt like a lead balloon after the Segway which had me a bit concerned but didn’t prove to be a problem. Driving up Leg 6 had Chad starting to understand what type of hills we were in store for.

We arrived a bit early at the transition point which gave David (more on him later) plenty of time to warm up. When we saw Fran cruising up the hardest leg with ease, she handed off the bracelet to David and our set of legs had begun. This was David’s first time doing this event and he got a nice taste of the what type of terrain was in store for us. Without much issue though, a winded David handed off to Chad who had a nice little 1.5 incline that he was up all night worrying about. We assured him we would be his van support at the top of the hill to give him water. As it turned out, we didn’t follow him along the path and had no chance to give him water which was a bit of concern for some (Nikkii) but not much for the rest of us. We drove the next transition point and waited (and hoped) that Chad would be alright because he isn’t exactly a veteran runner. The jokes at this point of whether we would ever see Chad again were flowing. To quote Chad before he did his run, “I’ll either be there or I won’t.” Part 2 to come shortly.

TC & CK4

CK4 Sweating a bit

By Tom Stortz|2013-11-14T18:58:14-05:00April 29th, 2013|My Life|2 Comments