We Don't Walk Slow

9 Sep, 2015

Do you do this?

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-09T13:24:24-04:00September 9th, 2015|My Brain|3 Comments

Here is a LPT (Life Pro Tip) that I wholeheartedly disagree with.

Rough morning? Pay for the person behind you in line at the coffee shop. It will make your day along with theirs.

This is easily the dumbest idea that humans have stumbled across. I understand the idea of being nice but this is such a catastrophe logistically that it’s more trouble than it’s worth. My exact thoughts by a commenter?

Honest question: how are you supposed to pay for the person behind you? I’ve always seen people make such comments but never actually seen it in person. Do you just let the person behind you step up to the register, stand beside them, and then pay for their order with the cashier tells them how much it is? Or do you give the cashier your card, tell them to charge the next person’s order to it, walk away, then come back after it’s been charged? Do you just leave cash with the cashier?

My Take

Oh you want to pay for me? Give me 15 foot longs and 12 sodas. Now you aren’t so nice are you? You’re only nice if it falls within your budget. Go jump in the phony hole.

The fundamental point behind why this is so stupid is because you’re only doing it to make yourself feel good. You need the acknowledgement from the cashier and the person behind you that you are a good person. Guess what. You’re not. You’re actually worse because you’re creating confusion and looking for false self esteem from a place where it doesn’t belong.

I’m not paying it forward. I’m not paying it backward. Fuck it. I’m not paying it at all. Trump for President.

9 Sep, 2015

Painting a Mural

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-09T12:55:19-04:00September 9th, 2015|My Life|0 Comments

I thought this was cool because I’d never before seen how a mural gets painted. You can see the grid over the wall and then they paint each individual square. I was told that this was going to take 2 months. Maybe I’ll post updates each day as I walk by.

8 Sep, 2015

THE Fantasy Football Post – Week 1

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-08T22:11:38-04:00September 8th, 2015|Sports|1 Comment

I’m not a fantasy guru so take any advice I give at your own expense. I will however be participating in just about every form of football oriented activity from fantasy, to Draftkings, to Fanduel, to eliminator, to survival, and last but not least straight up action on games. It’ll be a wild year.

I’ll start with what I’ve found to be the most interesting in the DFS leagues. Here are my teams for FanDuel and Draftkings. It’s only Tuesday so there will most likely be changes come game time but you can see who I’m looking at with value. May have to click the pictures to see the teams.

DraftKings

Jameis most likely will be subbed out but he’s cheap and better than Tyrod and Cousins. Bradford is the safer play but then I have to alter every part of the squad. Value favors Lacy, Martin, and DeMarco at RB. A-Pete and the ODB team is pure high risk, high reward. I’m ALL IN on Julio this week with John Brown and Landry as cheap options who I just am looking for a solid outing. The TE in Rodgers is a huge risk but his price is so great to be the starting TE on the Packers. Seattle is the only defensive play this week.

FanDuel

I’ve taken a different route picking more of players who I like to explode and not worrying so much about what is considered value. I’m staying as cheap as possible with Tyrod and sprinkling a little J. Hill, Lacy, DeMarco, A Pete, C Ivory, and Jamaal. I’ve tested teams with Davante Adams and A Hurns as cheap options. ODB, Cooks, Matthews, Cooper, and Julio are all guys I like. Olsen and Bennet are safer plays with more upside than Rodgers. Chandler Catanzaro was offered to me as advice and I’d still stick with Seattle.

Week 1 Games

Covers has the Pats vs Steelers as virtually a pickem and the line going off at Pat -7 at home. My general principal is to be on the opposite side of where you think the public is and with this game as an even draw it’s not a game to go crazy on. The Pats offense is going to be shaky with Brady having the entire off season drama, Gronk not playing a game, and the team having pretty much no star RB’s or WR’s. With this quick take, you’d think to pound the Steelers. Cool your jets. LeVeon Bell is suspended and their defense is pretty much non-existent. AB can’t win this game himself. I tend to lean towards the Pats – 7.
Not this year toots. It’s Lindsay Duke. Bortle’s old GF.

GB (-6.5 & 67%) vs Bears, Miami (-3.5 & 65%) vs Redskins, and Carolina (-3 & 67%) vs Jags are the heavy action on Covers. Green Bay vs the Bears is a divisional game at Chicago and the Bears are getting no respect. I’d take the Bears as a home dog to cover but would stay away. The Redskins are pretty much a joke this year and Miami is being hyped up as a playoff team. These don’t always swing the way the public thinks and I expect a close game from Cousins and the Skins at home as another home dog. Sticking with the trend, I’d bet on the home dog one more time as Jags +3 because the Panthers are going to be a lousy team offensively and the Jags will show an offense that no one has seen before with A Rob, Hurns, and Yeldon.
Win me that money.

Bucs (-3 & 56%) over Tennessee is going to be my pick of the week. Jameis will ignite this team with his legs if all else fails. Not having Mike Evans may sway my vote here but I have no faith in any part of Tennessee. They have one of the worst defenses in the league, no good RB’s, Kendall Wright is decent, and a QB who is playing for the first time. Of course you could make this argument about Jameis but the home team is the play in this game.

8 Sep, 2015

Cat Lizard Blast Fight

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:07:46-04:00September 8th, 2015|Videos|0 Comments

I’ve seen this years ago but now with the special effects. If you’ve played fighting video games, it’s pretty hilarious.

8 Sep, 2015

Dumb Luck Photography

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-08T09:29:23-04:00September 8th, 2015|My Life|2 Comments

I have no idea what I’m doing but the picture I took is on the 3rd page of Reddit with 255 upvotes.

If you don’t follow Reddit this probably means relatively little to you but just know that getting upvotes isn’t easy. I’ve probably been following for 2 years and unless it’s original content, it’s challenging to get credit (previously I probably posted 20 times with a total of 42 upvotes). Amazingly, the 2nd time ever I’ve tried to use my new camera it worked like a charm.

How I Took This Shot

The other picture I shot of the marina.

I rarely wake up before 7am but for an inexplicable reason I rose around 6:15 am and decided to try and take a picture of the sunrise. I’d never tried before but figured there is a ball of sun somewhere in the east and I know how to point a camera and hit the button.

As I drove down Delaware Ave I saw a glaring circle coming over the horizon. This is it! I made a U-turn and pulled over to the side of the road and took about 4 pictures with different zoom levels. Another car stopped to check out the horizon and I felt uncomfortable with a camera around my neck that I made sure I snapped the shots as quickly and nonchalantly as I could. As luck would have it, I actually took a good picture from a great vantage point.

All aspects of the shot are dumb luck. Having the bridge and pier encompassing a cool looking sun was not planned and just worked out. I believe that if I took my time and figured out how to shoot this (which is what I expect professional photographers do), I don’t think I could have done a better job. Getting upvotes, likes on Facebook, and the feeling that I took a neat picture makes me want to do it again. However, I have this sinking feeling that this “success” is more beginners luck than being a good photographer. Either way, it’s fun to believe.

I also think that the ability to add the image to imgur, make a title that states exactly what the picture is, and posting it in the Philadelphia subreddit rather than the pics had impact on the picture’s visibility. New redditors may not do this properly.

7 Sep, 2015

A New Dawn, A New Day

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-07T09:44:16-04:00September 7th, 2015|My Life|2 Comments

Long weekends are a bit of a conundrum for me. I spend my time working and while I’m working I can’t stop wishing that I could just stop working and enjoy life. Then I get time to not work, and I end up trying to figure out how to spend it. So, how did I spend it?

On Thursday I went to Atlantic City to gamble which seemed like a great idea, however, my enthusiasm pre AC did not hold up post AC. Without going into details, I got absolutely rocked. In the 4 different games I tried, I don’t think I was up at ANY point. I’ve done AC so many times that I know this can happen but it’s just a horrible feeling. So this was the way I started the extended vacation.

There’s not much to note other than I went bowling a few times and just sort of killed time which left me to last night where I wasn’t feeling tip top and decided to call it a night. I woke up at 6 this morning, snapped this picture which I am using as symbolism for a fresh start.

I’m quoting Vince Lombardi here:
It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.

7 Sep, 2015

NFL Win Totals – Over/Under

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-07T09:13:23-04:00September 7th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

I’m not putting my own money behind these predictions and neither should you. I thought it would be fun to give a quick blurb and guess whether the O/U will hit and then see how well I did once the season ends. It also shows who are the worst teams in the league and who you should be looking to start your fantasy players against.

Sea – 11 Wins – Over – Their defense is superior to every team in the league.
GB – 11 Wins – Under – The loss of Jordy is substantial.
NE – 10.5 – Over – Reggie Wayne saying the team practices too hard is an indicator of the environment.
Ind – 10.5 – Over – Gore, TY, and Andre Johnson should be enough fire power to maintain.
Den – 10.5 – Under – I’m not sold on CJ Anderson and Peyton is another year older.
Phi – 9.5 – Over – If Bradford and the offense click like expected, this is easy money.
Dal – 9.5 – Under – A strong O-Line won’t help shitty RB’s.
Bal – 9.5 – Under – Seemingly find ways to win with players that I think are bad. Not this year.
NO – 9.0 – Under – Spiller and Ingram are not nearly as dynamic as people think.
Mia – 9.0 – Over – Tannehill is improving and Landry will help at the WR spot. Lamar Miller could shine.
SD – 8.5 – Under – Keenan Allen who is only one player and relying on Melvin Gordon is a crap shoot.
Pit – 8.5 – Over – The offense seems so prolific that this bet should be simple but it won’t be.
NYG – 8.5 – Over – Lot of weapons on offense. I wouldn’t sleep on this team.
KC – 8.5 – Over – Jamaal is a beast and Maclin will help Alex Smith.
Hou – 8.5 – Under – Weak at the QB position. Watts, Wilfork, and Clowney can’t save this team.
Det – 8.5 – Under – Aging stars and unproven rookies lead to disappointment.
Cin – 8.5 – Over – Hill will power this team to victories
Car – 8.5 – Under – No receivers will be their down fall.
Buf – 8.5 – Under – Tyrod Taylor is not an NFL QB.
Atl – 8.5 – Under – Consistently underachieves.
Ari – 8.5 – Over – Palmer and John Brown will spread the offense for Andre Ellington who I think sucks but the defense will prevail in close games
STL – 8.0 – Under – No idea how they will win 8 games with no WR’s and a running game with ???
NYJ – 7.5 – Over – Fitzpatrick and Geno will prove better than expected and Chris Ivory will break out.
Min – 7.5 – Over – Liking this offense with Teddy, AP, Charles Johnson, and Mike Wallace.
Chi – 7.0 – Under – No more B Marsh, an aging forte, and hurtish Alshon is trouble.
Was – 6.5 – Under – Team is in complete disarray with Kirk Cousins who is not nearly as good as people think.
SF – 6.5 – Under – Problems galore with Kapernick regressing and Hyde being average and unproven.
Cle – 6.5 – Under – Moneyman and McCown are not good.
TB – 6.0 – Over – Jameis will improve this team as Doug Martin finds his 2012 form.
OAK – 6.0 – Over – Amari Cooper and Latavius Murray will break out.
Ten – 5.5 – Over – I like Mariota’s chances to improve this team.
Jac – 5.5 – Over – Bortles will improve with A. Robinson and Hearns helping his cause.

16 overs, 16 unders. I wish I knew a little more about the defenses of teams because that factors in tremendously but I don’t have the research or time available.

3 Sep, 2015

Saving Money vs Eye Candy

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-03T11:08:33-04:00September 3rd, 2015|My Life|2 Comments

I was eating at PJ’s in Blue Bell last night with the Wads and the Weens when a discussion came up about half price wings vs a hot waitress.

We were expecting half price wings but mixed up the days (Tuesday instead of Wednesday) so we were a bit disappointed. The waitress said they are “swamped” on half price wing nights and it was relatively open that evening which brought about this question I will pose.

Would you rather eat at a restaurant where all the wait staff looks like sloth from the Goonies and get half priced food or would you rather pay full price and get served by a good looking staff in a nice environment?

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2 Sep, 2015

Why the NFL is the Best League on the Planet

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-02T11:26:58-04:00September 2nd, 2015|Sports|1 Comment

Now that football season is here you’ll see more posts dedicated to what I consider the best sport on the planet. This summer I’ve spent some time watching soccer and even participated in a fantasy baseball league. Fact of the matter is, both sports are slower than molasses and I probably watched less than 5 hours total. I’ve probably already spent 5 hours researching football.

This post will outline why I love the NFL so much and it has a lot to do with their players, personalities, and dynamics involved with the league.

Sam Bradford

When Sam Bradford was acquired by the Eagles from the Rams for Nick Foles the city was in disbelief. Most assumed that Chip was up to his old tricks and was bundling him with a draft pick in order to feed the city who was salivating over Marcus Mariota. 3 preseason games, 32 plays, and 4 TD’s later, you’d be hard pressed to find many Philly fans who wouldn’t want to see Sam Bradford in action this year. I am one of them.

How can a player move from “I can’t believe we got this guy with 2 busted knees” to “I’m drafting this guy in my fantasy draft because I think he’s going to have a huge year” in a matter of months? Going 11 for 11 against the Packers helps. It goes to show that fans sentiment is all about how a player performs. If you do well, we like you. If you suck, you’ll be run out of town. Oh yeah, and this pump video does it right.

JJ Watt

I watched all of the Hard Knocks episodes this year and there is one true stand out star and that is JJ Watt. He lives up to the hype of being the best defensive player in the league. He’s the leader of the team who pumps up the players in the huddle. He stays after practice for hours signing autographs for fans. He is the consummate professional.

One fascinating tidbit I took from last night’s episode was that he only eats, sleeps, and breaths football. He doesn’t get into extra curricular activities and leads a boring life where he goes to bed at 9pm, gets 10 hours of sleep, eats healthy, works out and practices like an absolute maniac. This is the lifestyle required in order to be the best of the best. He is so damn likable and by far a machine on the field. He is all about the right stuff…and he lifts an 1,000 lb tire 65 times a day.

Tom Brady and Deflategate

How can I conclude a football post without mentioning Tom Brady and Deflategate? You can’t.

The ruling is supposed to come by the end of this week but who really cares anymore? The NFL had to pose a suspension to appease the Colts and the rest of the teams in the league that cheating is wrong. However, the proof is sketchy and the player involved is being shady doing weird shit like breaking cell phones. The whole ordeal is bizarre and needs to get behind the NFL.

Also what kind of world do we live in where a sketch is blown into a big story? The woman actually received threats drawing Tom Brady like a full blown retard.

1 Sep, 2015

My First Camera Shoot

By Tom Stortz|2015-09-01T20:56:16-04:00September 1st, 2015|Photoshop|2 Comments

If you follow the blog you know I’ve been learning Photoshop for the past year or so. I’m hardly skilled but I’ve learned a trick or two. In my pursuit of developing the ability to manipulate pictures I realized I lacked of an essential part of Photoshop, the photo.

I went out and bought a Nikon 3300 which is an introductory model DSLR. There is a minimal amount of zoom but the pictures are of higher resolution and I’m still working on the adjustments. With my experience of Photoshop and the newly equipped tools to take a quality photo, I was set on my journey to become… I have no idea.

What the Hell Am I Doing?

Not quite there yet.

At 7pm I decided to venture out into the real world with my camera for the first time. I got in my car and traveled to Wawa to get some food and a coffee for what I wasn’t sure. It was 7:20 when I decided to start following the sun. I was driving west on Washington when I occurred a glaring, beautiful red ball of sun. Picturesque. Wow this is easy I thought. My first time trying to take a picture and I’m following a RED sun that I can’t even think of how many times I’ve seen it like that in my life. I couldn’t decide if I should just pull over and snap a pic or if I should keep driving closer to it so I could get a picture that wouldn’t have traffic lights in it.

I kept driving and before I knew it the sun had ducked behind some clouds and I was driving in a different direction than it was setting. Now I was scurrying to try to find a good picture again but I couldn’t find a good spot and there was no where to get out anyway. Before I knew it it was 8pm, no picture in sight, and I had to go home because it was dark. I took one picture from my car, which was highly dangerous, because I figured I needed to go home with some memory. The first is the original and then what I shopped.

Do you do this?

My Take

Painting a Mural

THE Fantasy Football Post – Week 1

DraftKings

FanDuel

Week 1 Games

Cat Lizard Blast Fight

Dumb Luck Photography

How I Took This Shot

A New Dawn, A New Day

NFL Win Totals – Over/Under

Saving Money vs Eye Candy

Why the NFL is the Best League on the Planet

Sam Bradford

JJ Watt

Tom Brady and Deflategate

My First Camera Shoot

What the Hell Am I Doing?

Before

After – I could have done better in the upper right with more effort.

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