I’m glad this got some discussion because I hemmed and hawed over it for a good few minutes. To get people up to speed, this is @MarkMustache’s tweet:

[dropcap background=”yes” color=”#333333″]It is wildly know that the interestingness of an animal is proportional to how difficult it is to figure out where its butthole is[/dropcap]

Sam’s Comment – Also, Wildly was absolutely meant to be widely, and Mark did not do that on purpose. He is the worst speller I’ve ever met.

JKash’s Comment – Sam – Is it considered a spelling error if a completely different word was chosen? I’d suggest that it’s more an issue of word choice (which is a bizarre word choice). “Know” seems like a spelling error as the last letter appears to be omitted.

My Evaluation

When I read this tweet I was flabbergasted by the how interesting an animal was depended on it’s butthole because I never thought of that before.  Does that mean a snake is the most interesting?  That point aside, I pondered Mark’s use of wildly know and was going to tweet him and ask him if he meant widely known which would seemingly make more sense.  However, I thought about it a bit and think that wildly know is a phrase that can be used by people who spend much time outdoors.

Not being one myself, I don’t know much about the wild.  For a person to question the location of an animal’s butthole however, perhaps he knows a bit more than I do about wildly know.  We are all familiar with the term know-how and this term just uses that in a wildly way.  I honestly think it makes sense and even if he accidentally did it, it works.   I’m going to back Mark on this usage and admit he knows more than I do about the laws of the land.  Should we be asking do all the animals of the wild know that the most fascinating creatures have the most obscure butthole locations?   It’s wildly know.  Mark, can we get some clarification?

The Plan

I was driving and I saw a police car sitting in a parking lot unattended.  An idea popped into my mind of hurling a rock through its windshield.  If you’re curious why this was my first instinct, you’ll have to take it up with the therapist I don’t have.  My brain started thinking of how it would actually happen and this is what I came up with:

1) Park the car on the side of the street – witnesses a plenty

2) Find a big rock – I assume this wouldn’t be that hard but most likely would foil the plan

3) Hurl aforementioned rock at front windshield

4) Escape in car

Further Thought

Seems simple enough.  Then I started thinking that if I was really serious about performing such an act, I probably should have covered my license plate and wore a mask at least until I got about a mile or two away from the scene.   If my car did happen to be caught on camera, I wouldn’t want to get caught once the policemen returned and called in this incident.  If it wasn’t caught on tape, I think you’d get away scot-free.

For the fun of it, let’s say my act was spotted by a witness and they informed the officer that I was driving a gray Acura but did not get the license plate.  Now there is an alert out for anyone driving a gray Acura.  Assume this is a big ordeal in the police universe and they set up a perimeter and stopped me with no real evidence against me.  Could they catch me by questioning me and monitoring how I behaved?

I know that was a long winded scenario but I think the question posed is interesting.  I obviously know I did it when I’m stopped but can’t lead on in anyway.  Now if I knew nothing, I’d act just like I knew nothing and there would be no acting.  Sounds simple except since I know I did it, will I still act the same way as the truth acting I wrote about in the last sentence?  I’m not so sure.

If I didn’t do it and then I start trying to duplicate those answers while knowing I did do it, the task got one step more complicated.  The more complicated things are, the better chance they fail.  For some reason there is some unexplained paranoia that I wouldn’t be able to act the same way in both situations.  Something would slip.  Being thoughtful and smart for yourself in this instance is doing the opposite of how you want to act (telling the truth that you did it) and this will be a focal point in my next post.  I’m setting up that post with this one.  Pretty advanced I know.  By the way, I didn’t follow through on my plan.