We Don't Walk Slow

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Blog Traffic Cometh and Goeth

Here are the stats from rnningfool.com (you have to click the pic to enlarge). I’m sure most of you don’t care but some may find the traffic of a personal website comparison over the past 2 years interesting. If you’ve been following the blog for years now you’ll recall a time period where I was getting heavy Brandi Passante traffic. This was when Storage Wars was hot and they were getting millions of viewers a week. I stopped following it once the initial interest wore off and fake rumors started appearing. Nevertheless this was a big time period for the blog because I created a picture that had a mug shot of Brandi next to a real picture of her and this made a top spot on Google Images. This can be seen by the orange line in the graph. As of today this traffic has all but stopped but a few other of my pages have hit which is boosting current traffic which is the blue line.

I think it’s safe to say that my ability as a blogger increases year over year. I try to update the look from time to time and hopefully you find the posts more insightful than previous years. I know I’ve moved away from a more personal blog, like what I do on a day to day, but I still throw in entries like that from time to time. In order to cater to anyone who reads this it doesn’t make sense if I blog about my experience at Fireside Trivia. I’m still confused by the sites bounce rate dropping to under 10% after the recent theme change so if anyone has any clue, please enlighten me. A theme doesn’t drop a bounce rate from 80% to 10%. I’ve been pretty pleased though with the new update except that I don’t utilize either of the feeds enough and I haven’t had the time to start working through some of the minor details to improve the look. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

The same idea of getting the audience involved still escapes me. I’ve added one new twitter follower and you can see the instagram stats. I notice it’s not that easy to tweet or take pictures of post worthy things all the time. In my mind I envisioned wild parties and hot girls constantly on the right feed but that isn’t the case. I’m much more boring than I imagined. I have my eyes peeled though and will continue trying my best to make this site the best possible.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-25T12:05:12-04:00September 25th, 2013|My Brain|0 Comments

Don Jon on Howard Stern

The movie Don Jon is written and directed by Joseph Gordon Levitt and he was interviewed on the Howard Stern show today. The interview went for about 45 minutes and Levitt came off as a genuinely likeable guy. He was there to promote the movie Don Jon which took him 5 years to get onto the big screen. It stars Gordon Levitt, Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore, and Tony Danza. It’s about a bro, who resembles the my new haircut or Dom Mazzetti type guy, and he has some issues balancing life and a porn addiction. It’s hard to say how much the porn addiction comes into play but they are running clips for it during pornhub videos so I assume they know their target audience. The ad is pretty funny when it shows Don Jon spanking it and the camera zooms to a male pornstar’s face and the thought process that takes place. Levitt tries to appeal to both male and females because the counter part of the movie is that Scarlett is addicted to romantic comedies and I assume she expects real life to be as it is in a movie. The movie received a 7.5 on IMDB and is set to hit theaters on 9/27/13.

That’s the brief write up of the movie but I thought the interview was well done by Howard as usual. You could tell that Levitt was really gracious and couldn’t stop saying how thankful he was when Howard said he liked the movie. Howard’s generally not a dick to big named guests so whether he was being genuine or not was tough to tell but I think he was. The interview touched on Levitt as a child actor in 3rd Rock From the Sun to some indie films he did to making it big with Inception, Lincoln and The Dark Knight Rises. Levitt went into his time on set with Spielberg and Daniel Day Lewis on Lincoln and that was a good story. He described Daniel Day Lewis as never leaving character during the movie filming which I thought was funny and Spielberg having an uncanny ability of catching the right energy and moment with the camera. Levitt wouldn’t discuss his personal life which I thought was admirable although doesn’t make for the best interview. Howard knows this. Overall though I could see how Levitt could develop some dick head qualities being a child actor and probably feeling entitled to the world but that wasn’t the case at all. He seemed like a hard working guy who did a good job of moving up the ranks. It was also revealed that he smokes more weed that you’d think.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-24T12:29:55-04:00September 24th, 2013|Celeb, Movies|0 Comments

#FuckFacebook

I logged on Facebook today and without touching a single button, I was granted with the screenshot above. You’ll notice 6 ads to the right (all of which are based off my history and that I’m mostly already a part of) and a huge sponsored AD by US Weekly about some Will Ferrell event. Over time I’ve tried to give Facebook the benefit of the doubt but they’ve crossed the line. I think the turning point was when they went public and they’ve had incredible pressure to meet monetary expectations. They’ve succumbed to bombarding their users with ads at the expense of a pleasurable experience. Ads are acceptable if you actually LIKE (see what I did there) what you are about to do and herein lies the problem with Facebook, its grown stale.

I haven’t had a new friend request in the last 5 years. An exaggeration perhaps but the thrill of Facebook was initially framing your social circle. Now all I get are married, pregnant, or stay at home low life’s updating FB with the latest snorefest. It’s still a fine place to set up events because everyone has an account but in terms of anything new or significant, Facebook is old and irrelevant. What I believe happened here is that their demographic switched over time. They went from the new, hip thing to be a part of 10 years ago to catering to parents and infants and anyone else who could click a mouse. I don’t think Facebook is going anywhere but its definitely lost its glimmer. So what is trending?

As much as I’d like to think I’m on the ball, I know I was well behind on Twitter and I recently signed up for Instagram which would make me a dinosaur by tech standards. I know Instagram was bought by Facebook but the simplicity and focus of Instagram separates it. A quick way to upload pictures and video is the heart of Facebook. Meaning that without that you have pointless text updates. That’s why Instagram has stolen Facebook away from Facebook. I think also the fact that anything I post automatically uploads to my blog makes me want to use it more often as well.

The same idea applies with Twitter. Keeping updates to 140 characters limits what you can write but it also makes you be concise and hopefully more entertaining. I still haven’t figured out how to gain followers but I’m hoping in time and with this blog, it will come. I know there are tons of people who use Vine and the amount of likes is overwhelming for certain videos. Where Twitter shines though is that if you want people to view your Vine, you’d tweet the link because it’s a better, bigger platform. The idea of Facebook and having “friends” is what limits Facebook from the snowball effect of Twitter. Knowing that you are tweeting things and there is a potential for mass hysteria is what I think is appealing. This is why I really hope that Twitter doesn’t go through with the IPO even though I know they will. More business leads to more ads and more bullshit to sift through.

You won’t see rnningfool have ads until I start landing 20,000 unique visitors a month. You can see from my handy counter down below on the right that I get somewhere between 250 and 300 a day which gets me to almost 10k a month. If I can double that, I may have to start trying to pull some money out of this site and sell out. The bounce rate on this new theme is also remarkable as its been below 10% the last 3 days. I have a feeling that’s not accurate but something I’m monitoring. I’m still hoping that someday someone who reads this site will also be a twitter follower but that seems like a crazy stigma from this audience.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-23T15:01:09-04:00September 23rd, 2013|My Brain|0 Comments

Take Me Home CBass

My fate lies in your leg

My football fate is all up to Janikowski tonight. I managed to get him in 4 fantasy leagues and he is my only hope of cashing in a FanDuel Tournament. What most would believe is going to be a blow out loss for the Raiders tonight is going to be watched intently by me every quarter. Football Sunday’s have 3 areas for me, betting, fantasy, and Fanduel. Each was equally interesting and I’ll break them down one by one. If you don’t like football, you won’t like this post.

I’ll start with the betting because it’s the easiest. I’m in a hole 100 bucks after two weeks of the NFL losing it all in week 1. This week I made 4 plays and managed to boost my wallet by 50 to try to keep digging out of a hole. My strategy is to never let the gambling get out of hand and to quit if it does. This is subjective of course, but bankroll management is my friend. This week I played the Pats, the Jets, and the Bears which were all winners and the Vikings took me down against the Brown surprise. My intuition for tonight tells me Denver is going to blow them out but it’s too many points to lay that I almost like Oakland in this game. I may take a small parlay on the Raiders and Over but I don’t like the game enough to make a real play on it.

I have a chance to go 4-0 in fantasy for the first time and I’d like to think it’s very likely. After getting stiffed against the 3 highest scoring QB’s in Evan’s 6 pt passing league, I have a shot to pick up my first W. I need McFadden and CBass to score 13 points in a half PPR which should happen. JKash laid an egg in Bake’s league as he got a taste of Cam Newton. I moved to 2-1 in Steve’s league against no competition this week and have a solid team moving forward. Finally, I need Knowshon and Cbass to score 15 to move to 2-1 in the league the Shee invited me to. Chance of having a 4-0 week? 80%.

I deposited in Fanduel for the first time and entered 2 contests. A 5 person, 25 dollar expert league and a 50 dollar, 888 person league. I’m currently sitting in last in the 5 person league with Knowshon and Cbass still to go but the guy in first is 40 points ahead with a great Stephen Hill pick. Where my money really lies though is in Cbass’s leg in the 888 dollar one. I’m sitting in 133 and the top 100 pay. Most people ahead of me are done with their players and even 10 points is enough to get me in the money which would make me 125. My guess is that < 10 is out of the money, 10 is 101, and anything more would get me there. I'd really like to win because Fanduel makes Sunday more entertaining and I'm not into depositing week in and week out. This week it was Joique and Bernard Pierce who were popular picks. I had a ton of cap for a stand out WR and went with BMarsh and that ended up costing me. Also the Bears over the Seahawks would have been the play.

Finally, a shout out to the Shee for most likely winning Week 3 of the Softerware Pick em. Naturally I invite a friend to a pool and the guy takes 2 of the first 3 weeks. Good luck getting invited next year…

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-23T08:34:45-04:00September 23rd, 2013|Sports|1 Comment

The Surface

I enjoy everything more on the surface. The idea of being a scientist and dissecting an organism down to the very last molecule doesn’t excite me in the least. I’d rather know how a million things kind of work opposed to knowing the ins and outs of only a few things. I always seem to be let down be the details.

I know this has been pretty vague so far so I’ll try to give a few examples. When I went for a run today, I pass a bunch of neighborhoods with houses. As I run by each house I get curious about the specifics of every lifestyle that goes on in it. Is the guy with the beat up Ford truck envious of his neighbor with two BMW’s? Does Old Man Winters get pissed that his neighbors basketball found its way on his immaculate lawn? As I kept running I passed an older gentlemen and we both waved to each other and I started wondering what type of running regime he has put in place for himself. Is this his once a week jog or is he dedicated to getting in shape? When I pass a corn field I start thinking how cool it would be to play manhunt among the stalks. The issue with all of these thoughts is that the answer isn’t nearly as amusing as entertaining the thought. Once you actually do find out these things, they suck. The mystery is gone. That’s why my brain leads me to believe that everything on the surface is more attractive than knowing the details.

I have to believe that the details are what strengthen relationships and makes them stick. Once you start getting to know something you start becoming emotionally attached. I haven’t bought into this idea and that’s perhaps why I lead a very emotionless life. My thought is that if you don’t get too involved, you won’t get hurt. This reminds me of the MIB scene with Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith.

Jay: You know what they say. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Kay: Try it.

I’m sure a psychologist would use the phrase, “you’re putting up a wall.” I would reply, “Only until I choose to knock it down.”

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-21T11:39:42-04:00September 21st, 2013|My Brain|1 Comment

LT: The Life & Times

I watched LT: The Life & Times on Showtime and it made an impact. Lawrence wants his kids to know one thing about him and it’s, “LT was a bad motherfucker.” The man is considered by the likes of Bill Bellicheck and Bill Parcells as the “greatest defensive player of all time.” The inside scoop on his personal life was even more fascinating because he grew larger than life and then fell from such great heights. Sort of reminded me of OJ.

No one can take anything away from his football career. He went to the pro bowl 10 times, he was defensive player of the year 3 times, and was MVP during the 86′ season. His 132.5 sacks put him #9 on the all time sacks list. With all of these accolades, it’s not suprising that Lawrence was propelled into a world that he could never have dreamed of. After he retired in 93′ (he said he actually retired 3 years earlier when Parcells left the team), he turned to narcotics and began a bumpy ride.

“After his retirement, he began abusing drugs on a regular basis. He went through drug rehab twice in 1995, only to later be arrested twice over a three-year span for attempting to buy cocaine from undercover police officers. During this period, he lived almost exclusively in his home with white sheets covering his windows and only associated with other drug users. Taylor later said, “I had gotten really bad. I mean my place was almost like a crack house.”

Lawrence became addicted to golf which was the exact same thing that happened to OJ. He had a stint on the WWF when he wrestled Bam Bam Bigelow at Wrestlemania. He was the kind of guy who would do anything for money and I’d imagine it’s because he had expensive habits. There was a great interview by Jim Nance (I couldn’t get the footage on youtube) asking if Lawrence was in good health. He took offense to the question and responded that he was fine and then went on some wild man rant that could only have been said by someone using drugs. These were some really dark years for Lawrence and he went to rehab for 60 days and I think he’s been sober for 15 years now. Although, he did have an incident where he was looking to get a hooker and the one arrived said she was over 18 and she ended up being 16. He was charged with rape. Who can blame the guy for that? The documentary ended where it seemed like he got his life almost together but a guy like that can snap at anytime. He even adopted a 7 year old boy and golfs with him on the reg. If you have 2 hours I’d definitely recommend it.

LT’s Best Friend

Here’s a well acted scene by LT in Any Given Sunday

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T14:47:42-04:00September 21st, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

Profanity Laced Similes

Simile is a funny sounding word. That aside, I wanted to go over a few descriptions that use profanity to express something. I’m sure you’ve heard them all before but the worst similes are the ones that don’t make any sense. For example, if it’s a cold day, you’ll hear the phrase, “it’s cold as fuck.” If you are are a person guilty of this type of phrase, you need to put some more thought into what your describing. The idea behind being clever and using a simile is that you are picking something that jives with what you are defining. Some more examples.

Bad – He is old as shit.
Good – He is old as dirt.

Bad – He’s stupid as hell
Good – He’s stupid as Billy Bob in Sling Blade.

Bad – She’s fine as fuck
Good – She’s fine as Gisele Bundchen on her Wedding day.

The simplicity and flow of the poorly represented phrase is probably why it’s used so often. It’s also doesn’t require any thinking when everything can be defined by a curse word. This is however what separates intelligent thought from letting your brain go on cruise control. I’m guilty of doing this pretty often as well because it’s just so much easier to not to be witty. I suppose there is also the idea of trying too hard which would also be bad. I think a happy medium between stupid and clever is ideal for these types of situations. I think I’ve driven the point across and it’s time to end this post. That was boring as shit. Is what I’m referring to even a simile?

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-20T09:15:38-04:00September 20th, 2013|My Brain|0 Comments

Living in Bliss

I wanted to start this post of a picture I took in New Zealand because this is how the new blog feels. As you can tell, I’ve installed a new theme and I believe it should enhance the blogging experience. The twitter widget is about 10x better and this new theme connects with Instagram so whenever I post a picture it immediately updates to the blog. Twitter also does this obviously. I figure I can use this more often to take pictures of events or things that I’m doing with my life and even when I’m not posting, I can still create new content on the blog with ease. There are still a lot of tweaks that I have to go through to perfect it the way I want but the process was relatively seamless. It was only 40 bucks! Plus I updated my twitter pictures which will be an instant boost of 36 followers. I’m looking forward to a new segment in the blogging life.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-19T15:03:09-04:00September 19th, 2013|My Life|1 Comment

Compelling Thought

I was laying in bed last night stroking my ego when it occurred to me that the last post I made about LeSean and BodyArmor was lame. It’s the type of post that although it’s an original idea, doesn’t hold its weight as thought provoking. I’m aware that some people don’t visit webpages because they want to challenge their brain but the idea of getting people to think is a good indicator of whether the post is good. Does the post make my audience pause and consider what I’ve written? This is why there are all different types of webpages and everyone has their own style of delivering information. Some people tell stories, some give advice, some share the news, and others attempt to make you laugh. This blog tends to be a combination of all which is why it gets lost in cyberspace.

After this revelation that the last post sucked I decided to think about what other people find intriguing. One topic that always strikes people is gossip. People are fascinated by what other people are doing. If I made a post that gave my honest opinion about any inside information I had on every person I knew, people would be curious. Would I ever do this? No. As much as a blog is public information, spreading info in a public setting destroys private relationships. Nevertheless, this example leads us to something powerful.

For this blog to work, I have to share information with the audience that everyone can relate to. People can relate to people because they deal with them on a daily basis. The idea of how people communicate and the internal thought process is what I find compelling. There are so many different types of interactions that each is unique and carries it’s own feel. If I talk with someone about fantasy football and he’s never participated, we won’t be able to have a conversation because the entire time I’m going to be thinking that this guy is an idiot. How you perceive someone determines what type of communication you gear yourself towards. With this in mind, consider how every single individual has their own thoughts on each and every situation. So how I perceive something (the correct way) may be different than how you perceive something (the incorrect way if you differ from me). THIS IS THE MOST INTERESTING THING TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND BECAUSE IT IS NEVER CONSISTENT.

My “good” idea for a post is to turn a real life situation with a person I know, turn them anonymous, and then go through the back and forth thought from my perspective. This is a situation that every single person on this Earth can relate to and would have an interest. I’d be sharing my personal insight of how my brain works and what I think about in certain situations. People will find this interesting because they can then decide for themselves if they agree or disagree with how I look at it. Here’s a hypothetical example:

I was watching TV last night with the lights in the living room on. JC walked in the room and asked me I wanted the lights off. I’m well aware he hates when the lights are on in this room yet I hate watching TV with the lights off. What I don’t understand though is why he doesn’t like the lights on? If it prevented him from sleeping or he was nocturnal, maybe I could understand but it’s neither from what I observe. I clearly answered, “no, I like the lights. You’ve asked me that multiple times before and my answer doesn’t change.” My internal mind thinks, “there has to be something else to this lights thing other than the selfish idea that everyone thinks like he does.”

Not the best example but I think it shows the points I’m making of how different people view the same situation with contrasting views. More to come. I’d also be curious if my audience agrees or disagrees with this notion that most people find other people the most engrossing topic.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-19T10:22:37-04:00September 19th, 2013|My Brain|0 Comments

LeSean Decoy and Body Armor

LeSean Decoy and his Body Armor

I walked into a local mart and I noticed this poster of LeSean McCoy advertising for a sports drink called BodyArmor. What I thought was funny about this advertisement was that there was no indication that LeSean played for the Eagles. He wasn’t wearing the Eagles uniform, only the colors, and it just had LeSean McCoy, #25, Philadelphia as his description. Then I started to take a closer look at the poster and I’m pretty sure that isn’t even LeSean. After some quick searching it looks like LeSean signed a one year deal with this company back in March of 12′. With this being 6 months after the contract expired, I’m curious if the company has the right to use a like individual to advertise for them without having to pay Shady. Either way I still think it’s smart by a company to hire professional athletes to endorse their drinks. Now a company has to reverse it and appeal to the common fat man and use Lard Ass from Stand By Me to endorse a milkshake. Who would drink this shit anyway?

This post reminded me of the movie Argo and how you have to be deceptive in getting past people who are looking for something. Argofuckyourself.

By Tom Stortz|2013-09-18T16:33:21-04:00September 18th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments