We Don't Walk Slow

27 Dec, 2012

No need to argue

By Tom Stortz|2013-03-15T03:03:29-04:00December 27th, 2012|My Life|2 Comments

I got a haircut yesterday and this picture was taken from my car seat immediately after the barber finished. What he did was flip up the front of my hair with a brush and a hair dryer. As I’m sitting in the chair watching him do this I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I would never set my hair like that. After some considering while he was fixing my hair, I decided to let him do whatever he felt like because I didn’t want to tell him I didn’t like what he was doing. If my dad was in this situation he 100% would tell the person exactly what he wanted. On one hand I agree with always being yourself and being truthful but in the event of something trivial like this, but what am I really accomplishing by pointing out I wouldn’t wear my hair like that? I could offend the barber or just make the haircut experience uncomfortable. By not saying anything I just go home and wet it down and barber Joe doesn’t think twice. Plus I can go back to him ahead with no animosity because he might take the comment personal.

I think that as the human race continues to adapt we start putting other people’s thoughts ahead of our own thoughts. How will my decision effect other people? This is better than always being single minded about yourself because it can create synergy amongst other people. This haircut is just a microcosm of the bigger point of this post. Of course I could tell the barber that I don’t wear my hair like that he’s wasting his time, but in his mind he is trying to help me out by “styling” my hair, ie. doing his job. Is there any credence behind this scenario and my analysis of it? Is thinking of other people ahead of yourself an improved life philosophy?

26 Dec, 2012

Awe Crush – Football Edition

By Tom Stortz|2012-12-26T13:11:58-05:00December 26th, 2012|Sports|3 Comments

People may consider an awe crush a man-crush, however, I do believe they are a bit different. When people use the term “man-crush”, I get the feeling people are crazy enough to be a servant to a celebrity and do absolutely anything they ask. Anything. An awe crush has more to do with respect. I respect these athletes because they are the best at what they do. If you don’t respect the absolute best then your value system may be a little skewed and that’s perfectly acceptable. Everyone has different perceptions of what the best is or what they like, but liking mediocrity says something about yourself. However, liking a guy like Reggie Evans or Rasheed Wallace just shows how closely you follow your sport and your idea of awesomeness, which is almost better than liking the best. Back to the point, the following list are not men that I actually have a crush on but who I admire because their ability is a level above everyone else. I may actually use this idea for another post but for now we’ll stick to football.

Tom Brady
His personal life has nothing to do with why I like him although it is still interesting enough to put him over the top. He ended a relationship with Bridget Moynahann shortly after he found out she was having his baby and then started dating Gisele Bundchen while Moynahan was pregnant. That is such a bizarre move to find out you impregnated a hot chick and then leave her for another supermodel during the process. That aside, I salute Tom Brady for what he does on the football field. His passes are accurate and sharp and he rarely throws interceptions. He brings an aura of confidence that is hardly found in any QB aside from maybe Aaron Rodgers or Peyton Manning. My feeling is that he’s the smartest player on the football field at all times. In 10 seasons he’s been to the Superbowl 5 times, won 3 times and probably should have won the other two. He went from an approx 2:1 TD to INT ratio for the first 6 seasons of his career to a few staggering totals in recent years:
2007: 50-8
2009: 28-13
2010: 36-4
2011: 39-12
2012: 30-6

Tom Brady just owns life.

Cam Newton
I like Cam strictly for Fantasy value. I tout Cam as the best fantasy QB and I was glad to see him finally live up to expectations at the end of the year. Cam’s ceiling is higher for fantasy points than practically any other QB. Sure the Panthers suck and he has a major attitude problem but one thing is for certain, this guy wants to win. I think it’s great that he cops a major attitude when he loses games. Somebody who doesn’t give a shit that they are always losing isn’t the guy you are looking for to run a team. I’m not arguing that Cam is that guy because he showed how inconsistent he can be early in the season. I just think this guy has the ability to be around for a long time and will put up numbers that will break NFL records. He’s young and will continue to dominate.

Adrian Peterson
A-Pete is the best running back in the league, period. I heard that on third and fourth and 1, when the other team knows he is getting the ball, he was averaging about 8 yards a carry. The guy is unstoppable. He has a speed unlike other backs in the league. Once he gets in the open field he is gone. He’s also amazing at making something happen on plays that look like they should have ended. The fact that he was trying to chase down the single season rushing record is amazing after, hold on, he recovered from a torn ACL/MCL at the END OF THE LAST SEASON. He is unquestionably the best back currently and potentially of all time if he keeps it up.

Other guys who are shooting up my list and a few who have fallen off:
Rising Stars:
Dez Bryant
Michael Crabtree
Russell Wilson
Colin Kapernick
Percy Harvin

Fallen Off:
Jamaal Charles – He’s still great but he’s too hit or miss. Get him on a better team and he’ll prevail.
Darren McFadden – The injuries just prevent me from liking him too much.
Antonio Brown – I still expect big things out of Antonio but an injury plagued season never helps.

24 Dec, 2012

Run of the Mill

By Tom Stortz|2012-12-24T08:54:47-05:00December 24th, 2012|My Life|1 Comment

My last few days have been pretty normal/unblogworthy. I’m sitting here deciding if I want to go into full detail on things that I have done countless times before. After writing that last sentence, I’ve decided to be quick. I deposited in Bovada but only made 2 bets and went 1-1 and didn’t lose a dime. I lost 150 in fanduel this week for my first losing week in the past month. The Wild Turkeys won the championship for the 3rd consecutive year and I was unable to be Sam Levin for the 2nd time in 3 years. We saw a Badfish concert at the Electric Factory on Friday night and Saturday was fairly standard. Brunch with the Schmidt’s was yesterday and I watched football most of the day. I can’t think of many more interesting things.

19 Dec, 2012

Busty Broads

By Tom Stortz|2013-03-15T03:03:46-04:00December 19th, 2012|Boobs|2 Comments

There is a standard question of whether you are an ass man or a boobs guy. Based on my genetic makeup, I’ve never found a big fat ass that appealing. I think it’s nice, but a playful set of boobs catches my attention. I’m the – and cleavage is like a + if we were magnets. I sometimes find the girls with their clothes on more attractive than with them off. From a practical standpoint, I’d think females would want a fat ass rather than to lug boobs around. To round out this topic, I wanted post picture of 3 glorified hotties who fall in the upper echelon of big boobs.

Lucy Pinder

Gemma Atkinson

Erica Campbell

19 Dec, 2012

Last Play at Shea

By Tom Stortz|2012-12-19T21:00:39-05:00December 19th, 2012|Music|0 Comments

I watched a documentary on Showtime called Last Play at Shea. Its focus was the final performance at Shea Stadium by Billy Joel and many others including Paul McCartney, John Mellencamp, Steven Tyler, John Mayer, etc. before it was torn down. They reviewed the Beatles performance in 1965, the legendary Bill Buckner error, and some history behind the Mets. The main focus though was on the career of Billy Joel and his performance on that night.

I found it particularly fascinating because, in most circles, Billy Joel isn’t known as one of music’s elites. I think it’s because he plays the piano instead of a guitar. Elton John is the same way. He also made some poor management choices (including hiring his wife to manage business) which cost him millions of dollars and the feeling of betrayal among long time friends. Perfect inspiration for songs. Another odd thing about his career is that he hasn’t created an album in 19 years and most of this “good” songs were done early in his life. He has battled depression and alcoholism throughout his life. I believe I should have had him on this list. This article helps document his past driving incidents which I’m sure happened when he was sober.

I’m actually a huge Billy Joel fan no matter what the clowns at the Rolling Stone think. I find his songs relate to real world, human being problems. His songs speak about what he’s going through in his own personal life and that easily translates to your life. I also find it boggling how little respect he gets on Spotify’s popularity meter. I’m going to detail one particular song but a few of my favorites are “Angry Young Man“, “This is the Time“, “New York State of Mind“, and “Zanzibar.”

The song that feels the most truthful though is Honesty. “Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue.” Joel sings this about a relationship with a woman but I feel like it pertains to the entire world. There are some (an extremely small percentage) people in this world who are your actual friends, the rest (everyone else) are only out for personal interest. You are on your own. People will not help you out. If you don’t do it yourself, someone will fuck you. There is very little honesty left.

18 Dec, 2012

Alt Music Update 12/19/12

By Tom Stortz|2012-12-18T22:51:47-05:00December 18th, 2012|Music|0 Comments

Since I know nobody subscribes to my spotify lists, I’m going to share some of the songs I’ve been listening to.

Green Day – Stray Heart

Motion City Soundtrack – Severence

Ed Kowalczyk – I’m the Proof
Lead from the band Live.

Mumford and Sons – Broken Crown
Thank Evan.

18 Dec, 2012

Fantasy Football Recap 12′

By Tom Stortz|2012-12-18T21:33:57-05:00December 18th, 2012|Sports|0 Comments

I like fantasy football because it’s more than just luck. People love to complain how their opposition is putting up huge points or how their players are injured, but true fantasy owners know its bigger than that. Fantasy Football takes dedication for 4 straight months. Every week is important because it usually gets that close at the end. I’m sure people who know me will read this and say that I’ve just had a good run in recent years but that doesn’t stop me from making a post and breaking down my thoughts on another year of fantasy.

This year I did something I’ve never done before and purchased Rotoworlds Season Pass for 40 dollars at the beginning of the year. The best part of the Season Pass was the draft guide. As I was drafting I wasn’t just picking positions, I was picking the best available player regardless of position. I thought it helped tremendously and we’ll look at how it fared in all 4 leagues I played in. Aside from Rotoworld, I’ll occasionally read ESPN or CBSsportline, or maybe watch some of their suggestions on TV, but primarily Rotoworld. I also have to write one thing that I know not every owner does but should, go to the week # and filter it by projected points for every position. Simple step but often overlooked and is useful for the waiver wire. I also rarely will choose a defense early as I look for matchups. This year the Bears, Broncos, Seahawks, Texans, and maybe the 49ers would have been all season holds but I haven’t found owning a defense an entire year to make that much of a difference. I think a kicker is important too for what that’s worth.

League 1 was Bakers for 20 dollars. My draft projection had me listed as #1 (unfortunately) after the draft. I had McCoy, J Jones, Steven Jackson, Steve Smith, Gates, Manning, Garcon, and Andrew Luck, everyone else was poop. This team didn’t make the playoffs and was my worst team. I basically had no good pick ups or trades. McCoy, Jones, Steven Jackson and Gates all underachieved and I had no sleepers. I will never draft Steven Jackson again. Oddly enough, with the low buy in, this league hawks out the waiver wire.

Leage 2 was my Yahoo Pro league that cost 100 bucks and I drafted against 9 random people. How I couldn’t make the playoffs in this league was absurd as my draft once again had me at #1 (unfortunately). I drafted McFadden, Murray, Vick, Harvin, Dez Bryant, D Thomas, CJ Spiller, and Andrew Luck. Injuries plagued this team and I lead the league in points against. I still had a shot going into the final week but couldn’t pull it out and missed the playoffs by a game. There was hardly any presence on the waiver wire and I found myself not picking up guys because I thought my team was better than that.

League 3 is Steve’s and is an 100 dollar entry. This team benefited from the draft guide and one error by me that worked out perfectly. I drafted CJ2k, Cam, Jamaal, AJ in the 4th! (I didn’t draft Julio), B. Lloyd, Hernandez, Decker, and Andrew Luck. A big pick up of Randal Cobb in a middling week also benefited this team huge. Cam coming on at the end didn’t hurt. I am currently in the championship as a 17 projected point favorite. ESPN projections are a joke.

The 4th league is my favorite, Evan’s. At a 50 dollar buy in, it’s more than just the money. I’ve managed to win the league 2 years in a row and will now go for the improbable 3pete. Competition in this league is decent with 5 guys who pay close attention (the others probably not so much) to the waiver wire. I started off 1-4 this year and had a strong run towards the end when I traded Andrew Luck for Cam. I had no TE and Evan dropped the 2nd highest scoring TE this season which was a huge boost. This team started off slow but everyone just started coming on at the end of the season. I didn’t even get LeSean for the last few weeks. A Pete, Dez, Steve Smith, and Cecil Shorts just got it done in the playoffs. Having your players play good at the end of the season is probably the best thing that can happen to you. Rock will be my opponent in the championship who I believe has proven himself as one of the better managers in the league. A continuous bottom churn makes this league interesting.

Just a few parting words. I said it last year and I’ll say it again this year, Cam is 1st round material next year. Same with RG3. Teams get built around QB’s. Not surprising the two teams that I have in the championship have Cam as the Q. A Pete is the #1 pick next year, hands down. Shady will slip as he should. Ray Rice just sort of lingers as a top back and has been surpassed by Doug Martin. Foster should be 2. I can’t back CJ2k and Jamaal as their inconsistencies cause losses. AJ Green really cooled off towards the end and Calvin is undoubtedly #1 WR but I wouldn’t spend my first pick on him. B. Marshall & Dez are legit as Dez goes way later than he should. I see bigger things for Michael Crabtree too with Kapernick at the helm. I also believe it’s important to get a stud TE like Gronk, Hernandez, Graham, or Heath Miller. Another thing I see a lot is lack of moves. If there is no cap on the moves, get rid of the garbage and take some flyers.

18 Dec, 2012

The Perfect Pour

By Tom Stortz|2013-03-15T03:03:58-04:00December 18th, 2012|My Life|0 Comments

Pouring a beer is an art form that most bartenders take for granted. The goal of a good pour should be to get as much liquid in the glass as possible. Foam or “head” correlates to about 1/4 of what the actual liquid is. As you can see from the picture, the perfect pour should contain beer to the brim. Even as a beer snob, I still understand that the server has to carry the beer and thus an 100% pour is nearly impossible unless you have skilled people at all areas. One can judge how good a bartender is by how seriously they pour their beer. Cup tilted with the tap pouring strictly on the side of the glass opposed to into the liquid is key. I’ve seen some Guinness “marketing” beers that say the perfect pour should have some head but I’ll never trade liquid for foam. I rarely see good pours nowadays but it’s still something to keep your eye out for. And when you do see it, make sure you complement the bartender.

17 Dec, 2012

Fantasy and Duhon

By Tom Stortz|2012-12-17T19:15:58-05:00December 17th, 2012|My Life|0 Comments

It’s not every weekend where I can say that I had a baller couple of days. After staying in on Friday night, I was ready to have a nice Saturday. I finished the 2nd season of Walking Dead and then started watching some Homelands. Shee came over at 4 or so and we played some Ping Pong where I was 3-3 which is a moral victory. We went back to his place and got something to eat at Sowe. They had some slamming pulled pork nachos and I also had a nice pork and pastrami sandwich. The bill was 54 bucks and we gave 80 dollars. Adam wanted to leave it all as tip but I don’t believe in 48% gratuity so he made sure to let the staff know that he would have left it all and I’m the cheapskate. We then played some Gin Rummy, which I never win, and we parted ways when my plans were to meet the Rock and Jon at the Public House.

The Rock said Chris Duhon was there but I just figured he was at the bar. After I somehow got in with sneakers and no collared shirt, I see the Rock sitting right next to Chris Duhon at the bar. For people who don’t know, Duhon is the starting guard for the Lakers with Nash out. He was a really nice guy and even bought us a round of shots, Tullamore Dew, to be more specific. It was good to see his night out didn’t effect his performance as he dropped 14 on the Sixers, 4-10 from behind the arc. We stupidly left the Public House to hang out with our commoner friends. I tried to be a bad ass like Duhon and buy 8 shots at Smiths but this proved to only hurt my wallet and not raise my reputation.

I woke up on Sunday pumped for an action packed day of football. I drew Evan for the 2nd time in 3 weeks for our semi-final matchup. As I did the week before, I watched some of the games with my opponent and got to watch A-Pete run wild just like last week. I ended up beating Evan and moving on due to the fact that he had more points on his bench than his starters. Lesson learned, don’t sit the #2 pick of the draft (Aaron Rodgers) for Josh Freeman. Special thanks to Cecil Shorts and Heath Miller. I left Evan’s at halftime of the first games to meet up with Rock at Xfinity Live which was a decent spot to watch the games. He went to the Sixers game so I left them at about 4 only to head over to Ed’s place who was my opponent in the other league I made the playoffs. Janikowski pretty much sealed my win over Ed to put me in the Championship in two leagues. If all goes well next week, I could net 950 bucks from my fantasy investment. Not too shabby. I also picked up 75 bucks from Fanduel with my expert team netting me a W. Fantastic plays by me in Dennis Pitta and Michael Crabtree.

2 weeks ago I was hanging low and now I’m riding high. Funny how that happens.

15 Dec, 2012

Singles from 94′

By Tom Stortz|2012-12-15T10:42:49-05:00December 15th, 2012|Music|0 Comments

Society was into some seriously pussyish music in 94′. I just listened to the Madonna song for the first time in about 15 years and it sounds like tranquility bullshit memory song. I Swear is a forever classic but still a love ballad. I actually remember buying the CD single for that song. Yes that did exist. Aside from Mr. Jones, this is just some slow, peaceful, man loves a women crap. This has to be one of the worse periods of music ever. People say the 80’s are a horrible time for music but with just a quick glance at 94′, this is awful.

No need to argue

Awe Crush – Football Edition

Run of the Mill

Busty Broads

Last Play at Shea

Alt Music Update 12/19/12

Fantasy Football Recap 12′

The Perfect Pour

Fantasy and Duhon

Singles from 94′

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