We Don't Walk Slow

Philly Boob Girl

Philly Boob Girl expressing that girl’s should be able to go topless.

I should have a picture of my actual encounter with boob girl but this story will have to do to help me explain. As I was driving down 3rd I turned my head to the right and saw a girl with exposed breasts right outside Starbucks. She had pasties on her boobs and they weren’t exactly 10 out of 10’s so it wasn’t a pretty sight. I sort of did a double take and wondered if there was some parade going on but there wasn’t. She then looked directly at me and I had no idea what an appropriate reaction was. It didn’t seem right to me to stare and I got the feeling that she’d flip me off if I kept looking at her shirtless. Thankfully the light turned green and I sped off without a second thought. A day later I told Jeff about it and he informed me boob girl was protesting something or another and yadda yadda no one cares.

Why is it ok for guys to go shirtless and girls are not allowed? The same reason that as a society we hide body parts that can come in different sizes. We hide dongs so people don’t get embarrassed by size which makes perfect sense to me. Everyone knows girls make fun of penis sizes because they can. You’d think this would apply to boobs as well. If a girl is walking around with perfect 10’s, I’m sure society would marvel at her and tell her to keep on keeping on. She keeps her top on to protect the 95% of the rest of world from humiliation. I know the argument would be that only the people who want to can, but this still unleashes unwanted tits to the public’s view because ugly boobs can still want to come out to dance. Just because guys can take there shirt off doesn’t mean they do. Do you see 400lb bro’s flaunting their tits in public?

Philly boob girl has a screw loose. Breasts are magical and by exposing them all the time their allure diminishes. I don’t take my dick out because I want to feel comfortable. If everyone started whipping their dicks out you’d have an increased number of rapes, bizarre hard on sightings, people getting hit by accident, and STD’s would be much more prevalent. We cover our goods because it’s a smarter way of doing. Boobs are covered and it has hardly been a hindrance for hundreds of years, don’t protest something that isn’t a problem. There are places for her called nudist colonies where she’s more than welcome. Don’t damage our society with unwanted breasts.

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-14T09:27:46-04:00June 14th, 2013|My Brain|1 Comment

A problem arises….

… when indecision and stupidity cross paths. Today I nearly killed a homeless man when he decided that crossing the street on his red light was a good idea. I’m ready to drive through the intersection on my green light when this wild man decides that he is going to make a mad dash for the other side. I see what he’s up to and begin braking to allow him to cross when all of a sudden he decides to let me pass through by waving his hand. This is a two lane area and he’s standing in the one lane so I’m violently waving my hand for him to get on the other side. He finally decides to cross but not after I’d made moves forward on 3 separate occasions while he’s trying to figure out what to do. So a quick analysis can break down what happened and why it happened.

Not following the rules of the road. Red means stop, green means go. This applies to walkers as well. The rules are created for safety and for everyone to have a standard to abide by.

Indecisiveness. If he started walking and kept walking, it would have made the problem go away as quick as possible. By hesitating he creates confusion in both himself and now everyone else around him.

Drugs are bad MMMMKay. Hard to say if this maniac was on drugs but usually drugs & alcohol lead to bad decisions. Trust me, I know.

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-12T09:54:13-04:00June 12th, 2013|My Brain|0 Comments

Resolve

This one quality is what sets apart the weak from the strong, the poor from the rich, and the masses from the stars who shine. It’s continuing to do something when you don’t want to do it anymore. It’s constantly working towards a goal until that goal is achieved. It’s not quitting when you know there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It’s a never say die attitude and the understanding that Rome wasn’t built in a day and hard work is what pays off in the end. I’m sure everyone is familiar with the Thomas Jefferson quote, “I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” People who believe in God attribute luck to God. I personally feel this attitude is for the moronic. Things get accomplished by an unwavering tunnel vision towards completing something. Luck is hard work paying you back.

I didn’t have any real motivation to write this post aside from Sam’s comment on one of my posts that read “That’s my #1 answer when people say “why do you have a blog” (in a very condescending tone).” The people who ask that question have no determination and are the spineless jellyfish of the world. They see no value in keeping a blog and will scoff at others for no other reason other than to put you down. I’ve seen many personal blogs come and go and I can’t think of many people who would maintain a blog for 4+ years and not receive a single cent for their contribution. It’s not about the money for me. It’s putting my ideas onto a platform that will be around in my life for the rest of my life. I’ll purchase rnningfool.com for the next 200 years so my thoughts will never be lost. Money means nothing when compared to time and what you do with that time. The smartest people are the ones who realize that time > money. When you spend your time achieving your goals, you can’t go wrong. One of this blog’s goals is to gain an audience and hopefully a place where people can come together and kick around ideas. I know participation is minimal (there were 5 posts in a row with a comment!) but I’ll keep plugging away until it happens.

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-11T18:49:43-04:00June 11th, 2013|My Brain|1 Comment

The Limousines – Hush

There have been quite a few new releases of highly anticipated albums lately such as 30 Seconds to Mars, Vampire Weekend, The National, Daft Punk, Portugal The Man, and Capital Cities but I’ve found the Limousines album Hush the one I’ve been listening to the most. I imagine most people probably have never even heard of the Limousines but their last album produced hits like “Internet Killed the Video Star” and “Very Busy People“. Without getting into too much background info, their record label didn’t treat them fairly and they looked towards Kickstarter to help them raise money for this album. Initially planning to raise $30,000, fans donated $76,000 before the 30 day close. This huge success for the Limousines leaves them contract- and label-free for their Hush Album.

I went back and listened to their first album (which I never had all the way through) and Hush is much more refined. The songs contain more meaning lyrically and have the ability to draw you in. The album kicks off with 3 songs that won’t get the attention that they deserve. AltNation has already started playing Love is a Dog From Hell but Stranger is the best song on the album. The line “I want to love you in real life” sticks. The next track that I look forward to is Wrecking Ball. It’s an upbeat song that gets you grooving. Every song has lives off it’s own merit though and that is something you don’t find often. The last album that I would listen to every single song all the way through and not get annoyed with certain ones was A Silent Film Sand & Snow , which I also believe was underrated. The album Hush is still relatively unknown when I see the views on Spotify on Youtube but I wouldn’t be surprised if this album starts getting some more attention once people get the chance to hear it more often. Give these songs below a listen and see if this band is for you.

Limousines – The Stranger

Limousines – Wrecking Ball

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-10T23:20:18-04:00June 10th, 2013|Movies|0 Comments

Growing Up A Man

Every second that passes in your life, you gain experience. Experience helps you make better decisions and improve. To use the Office Space mantra, you should be the smartest in your entire life at every passing moment. Now obviously drugs, alcohol, and other life events can certainly affect this mentality but I think the premise holds true. With more participation in life, you form a greater understanding of all aspects. This is what it takes to stop your body from withering away into a boy body when it should be a fully grown man body!

I reviewed some posts that I wrote up back in 2007 and 2008 and it’s funny how I look at what I was writing back then and how my perspective on life has both changed a ton and not at all depending on the idea. Here is an excerpt:

TC & CK4 & James – Circa 2006
Sportin that plain white T and you know CK4 still has that sweatshirt

8/20/2007

When I think about my life, it occurs to me how small and insignificant my life really is. In the grand scheme of things, considering the size of the universe and the illusion of time, my life is meaningless.

80 years life expectancy is just a short run in a universe that’s been around for billions and billions of years.

Meaning, people’s “major” problems are usually not as bad as they seem.

Long Term Goals

Be happy.

Be a better person – mentally and physically

Enjoy freedom

Don’t injure yourself.

Help others?

How to obtain long term goals

Develop good friendships/relationships

Make money so living is easier

Why do people do things?

Improve themselves / society

Challenge and competition

Proving to be the best

The motivation of money

What should I be doing?

?????? – Something I enjoy

What should I not be doing?

Wasting my life as it passes me by

So the goal of a person’s life is what?

This was almost 6 years ago and my ideals haven’t changed much. I think I’ve improved on the action of what it takes to make these thoughts happen in the past 6 years but I’m essentially the same person except 6 years have passed. It’s almost scary how little my mind’s big picture ideas have changed. Where I’ve found personal growth is in my manner of dealing with people. It’s probably the main part of my life which I’ve been working on in the past year especially. I look back at the person writing this 6 years ago and believe I was mostly helpless compared to what I am now. I write this because I still feel mostly helpless but am gaining tools every day to encounter this life to be successful. This is one of the best reasons to maintain a blog. Looking back on something you wrote many years ago only to realize how little and much has changed. I have much more to write on this topic but don’t want to bog this entry down. I’ll write more later.

All grown up with Mom.

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-10T19:46:08-04:00June 10th, 2013|My Life|2 Comments

Honk for Texts

An increasingly annoying trait of humanity is people at red traffic lights not driving when the light turns green. The reason being that they are playing with their phones instead of concentrating on driving. I’m not certain but I have to imagine that texting is the #1 cause of traffic accidents. The other day we were actually discussing how there aren’t MORE accidents than there already are. It does seem amazing how you put all these stupid people (most people are stupid) behind the wheel in the blink of an eye and send them on their way. Driving has to be the most dangerous thing you do that you completely take for granted.

Most people have the capability of using their phone as a GPS. Where is the line drawn at what’s acceptable to do in the car? It’s ok to look at your GPS but not ok to text and drive? Is using your GPS in the car the same as texting? Can you restrict people from not using any electronic device in a vehicle? I believe it’s quite apparent that using electronic devices and driving is a major issue and only getting worse. I know because I’d be lying to say I haven’t participated in using my phone while driving and I know how distracted you can become while texting that you aren’t even looking at the road at certain points.

According to the National Highway Traffic Administration, car accidents happen every minute of the day. Motor vehicle accidents occur in any part of the world every 60 seconds. And if it’s all summed up in a yearly basis,there are 5.25 million driving accidents that take place per year. The National Safety Council announced that it estimates at least 28% of all traffic crashes – or at least 1.6 million crashes each year – involve drivers using cell phones and texting.

So what can you do to make the roads a safer place? First of all, make the penalties severe. 1st time offenders should be a 500 dollar fine and if you ever get caught again you should get your license suspended for a week. I tried looking up what the actual fines were and wasn’t able to come up with the info. I’m not sure if there is anything that you can do to prevent people looking at their phone while driving. It’s one of those things that will be with society for a long time until something is changed.

While typing that last sentence I thought of one thing that could help. Create a device that can verify that your phone is off while your driving and insurance company’s will give you a better rate. Or some type of reward system while driving with your phone off. Just a thought.

I laughed out loud.

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-09T19:48:29-04:00June 9th, 2013|My Brain|0 Comments

This one’s for you CK4

I humor myself sometimes with when I choose to share some posts. Last Monday Ck4 and I played in a golf scramble for charity that overall was a fun time. At one of the holes there was a putting contest where you had to make a 12 foot putt to be put into the next round. The prize was an Orlando vacation. Everyone from our foursome made the putt on the first try which was unbelievable. In the final round there were about 15 participants putting a 40 footer that had some major break to it. Ck4 ousted the field putting it within 18 inches and taking home the vacation. I know he was eagerly awaiting my blog post about this story because Ck4 loves posts about Ck4. Since I know how much he enjoys these posts, I just toy with him and delayed that story for a week. It was well worth it though because I have more Ck4 content due to waiting.

On Saturday, Nikkii had set up a surprise birthday party for Chad about two weeks prior to his birthday to guarantee a surprise. My job was to keep him distracted for the day and have him show up to the party at the appropriate time. I decided golf would be a good way to spend some time so I booked a round at Talamore for the two of us. We played from a back tee box and the course proved mightier than the players (I did par the #1 handicap hole). We were able to see some wildlife in a deer with a bad leg, a baby deer, 2 swans, and a snake in the grass.

Bambi at Talamore

A few highlights include on the 17th hole there is a row of houses on the right of the fairway. I’m standing behind Chad and see that he’s aimed directly at the houses for some unknown reason. Thinking that his swing will make the ball travel in another direction I didn’t say anything and what do you know, he hits a BB right at the houses and it 100% hit something. Then on 18 he was about 150 yards out and for absolutely no reason other than entertainment, decides to hit a yellow range ball as a practice approach shot. He ends up sailing one way off to the right where the member area and pool is and I couldn’t stop laughing at how absurd it is that 2 jokers on a trial membership are causing so much havoc at the hoity toity Talamore club. Bulls in a china shop. We ended up leaving at 5pm and headed to a bar to grab a bite to eat and have a few drinks. We killed the couple of hours and headed off to the party location.

When we got there no one was upstairs and I legitimately think Chad had no idea a party was coming his way. Once the surprise hit we enjoyed a nice evening playing various games and enjoying everyone’s company. It was a swell time. I like that word swell. If you ever want to hear any jingles from back in the day, ask Mr. Helmstetter. The kegerator was a nice touch as well. I think Sam retired as the corn-hole champ (jokes welcomed). It really ended up being a great day and what life is all about. There you go Ck4, you’re the star of the blog.

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-09T18:56:11-04:00June 9th, 2013|My Life|1 Comment

#YouAreRetarded

The hashtag has lived its life. It was short lived but I’m fully committed to killing it. This is a good description of the hashtag which was popularized with Twitter. Here is also a guide on how to use it.

“In Twitter, the number sign is called a “hashtag” and it’s used as a way of grouping or categorizing tweets, as Twitter does not have that functionality included. This allows you to go to Twitter Search, search for the hashtag and then follow all comments that include it. So in real time, you can follow the comments and respond to them, creating a conversation about a given topic.”

What’s happened is that people have overused the hash tag and annoyed virtually anyone who scans twitter (or facebook). If this idea were only used for categorizing tweets, that would be great. Problem is that people nowadays just hashtag anything that they want to describe. This creates a headache because most people are stupid and not funny or creative. So now the masses are killing something by overusing it and their overall witless nature is burying it.

I like the idea of a descriptive hashtag to describe something. People can be concise and humorous at the same time which is a win win. I don’t like when idiots use 5 different hash tags to describe the same thing. #beautiful isn’t a good hashtag. I wrote a tweet that said “Jennifer Love Hewitt got engaged. Unless her tits are out, nobody cares.” (Can you copy and paste tweets?) I should have went #titsorGTFO. I personally think that is moderately funny and worth the hashtag. I believe there is a place for the hashtag but it’s not for everyone and shouldn’t be used without thought. #Greatpost #AwesomeBlog #rnningfoolformayor

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-07T12:09:21-04:00June 7th, 2013|My Brain|2 Comments

A Hoagie in Philly!

We call it a hoagie!

This map clearly shows that the only place a hoagie is called a hoagie is the Philadelphia region. Everyone else knows a hoagie as a sub. This never even dawned on me that I am from the only place that uses the term hoagie. I remember college in Pittsburgh thinking it was weird that a hoagie was a sub or hero and obviously these Yinzers were way off the mark in their categorizing. We all know rubber bands aren’t gum-bands, and it’s slippery not slippy. After seeing this map, I have a bit more perspective that I was the odd man out. I think this is a great thing though because it stamps the fact that Philly has it’s own uniqueness in the sandwiches we create. There’s a reason it’s a PHILLY cheese steak and why we are the only people who know what a hoagie is. Things are created and perfected in Philly, something to be proud of. Why other places can’t nail down a cheese steak is almost comical because it’s such a simple sandwich. There is something special about a hoagie from Wawa.

The other map I enjoy is the soda / pop / coke map. Let’s be completely biased here and see exactly who calls it soda. The Northeast, Southwest, Milwaukee / St. Louis, and Florida. The full name is called Soda Pop. The noun is the first word. Smart people call things nouns. Pop is a descriptive feature of soda. The carbonation is the pop, not the drink. Pop is the sound a balloon makes when it breaks, not a drink. You’d also never call something by a brand name as it’s preferred choice. I no doubt have ordered a soda as “coke” before but that’s because I wanted coke. If I order a coke in the South is it possible to get a ginger ale?

Here are 22 other maps of areas that pronounce and use words various ways. I noticed that I said the words in the way my region did almost every time. It’s funny how easy it is to take the position that however you grew up and how words are pronounced and described around you is the right way. These should offer a larger perspective that just because you think one way, doesn’t mean a different person thinks another way and you both can be right. Being open minded is critical.

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-05T21:36:51-04:00June 5th, 2013|My Brain|1 Comment

Dentist Drill

I went to the dentist today for a cleaning and I’m beginning to think it’s a scam. I regularly go every 6 months for them to clean my teeth and tell me that I don’t floss enough. Today the woman cleaning my teeth was poking around with a sharp pointed object and telling me there’s blood. No shit. Then she stumbled across some air pocket that she needed the actual dentist to check out. He looked at it and said that it was only an air pocket and no big deal. I tell this story because he could have told me I needed thousands of dollars of dental work when that air pocket was ready to explode. I would be clueless on whether any of it was necessary. I feel like the business of a dentist can never be bad because you can create work for yourself. What are you supposed to say if he tells you that you need to come back to get a cavity filled? You come back. People with full dental benefits couldn’t care less but when you pay for your own visits, you begin to question what hell is actually happening.

I don’t think anyone likes going to the dentist but there are way worse repercussions from not going compared to the minimal amount of money it takes to go. For the past 20 times I’ve gone to the dentist, they tell me the exact same thing, “you don’t floss enough”. I probably floss 4 times a week, they would want 14. My teeth don’t bother me in any regard whatsoever. However, the threat of future problems is another ploy they have in their back pocket. Once they get you in the chair (which is what they should focus on to be successful), they have you by the short hairs. If they gave me a hot dental hygienist, I probably wouldn’t complain, but that hasn’t been the case one time in my entire life. The Jennifer Aniston dentist fantasy definitely exists.

By Tom Stortz|2013-06-04T23:46:17-04:00June 4th, 2013|My Life|2 Comments