26 Year Old Female Murdered in N. Liberties

[blockquote source=”NBC Philadelphia”]

Amber Long, 26, and her mother, 50, were walking along the 900 block of Front Street in the Northern Liberties section of the city when they were ambushed by two robbers.

“One of the males snatched the mother’s purse from off of her shoulder and fled on foot. The second male, who was attempting to snatch the purse from the daughter, during the struggle, pulled out a gun and fired it one time, striking her in the chest,” said Captain James Clark who heads up the homicide division.

Officers rushed Long to Hahnemann Hospital where she died around 11:15 p.m.

[/blockquote]

I know and live by this area. The map below will give you an idea in how close proximity I am. It takes about 1.5 minutes to walk from 2nd to 3rd down Brown.

Just a month ago I walked exactly through this Front St area on foot and thought to myself, “I wonder how safe it is right here?” This girl made an obvious mistake during the hold up and didn’t surrender the $14 dollar purse without resistance. This is a tremendous lesson to anyone reading this. Your life is more important than any monetary value item. People in this world are sick. There’s no saying that these murderers weren’t amped on crystal meth and had no idea what they hell they were even doing. To take a life over something so nominal is truly horrid. The victim’s mother used the word “senseless” and I think that’s pretty spot on. This is a scary ordeal all around.

To think I live within 5 minutes of this area is also troubling. It is off the beaten path but still not far from my residence. The location is essentially abandoned with some new construction currently being built. It’s obviously not a spot where you walk at night. The city isn’t the suburbs and that’s something that can never be forgotten because it can happen anytime and anywhere. What happened to Amber isn’t something that you can prepare for, but you have to know it can happen.

By Tom Stortz|2014-01-20T23:08:54-05:00January 20th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

Toughest Video Games Ever

This post was spurred by this reddit thread about the subject matter of toughest video games. I sifted through the comments and my own childhood memory and came up with this list. I haven’t seriously played video games since college so most of my analysis of this list was done when I was between the ages of 6-13. Being so young also probably made the games harder but maybe not. Bud will reminisce this list with me.

Doom (1993)
Cyberdemon

Iddqd. Do I really need to go further? Without god mode and the cheat code for the BFG9000, I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t have gotten past the first few levels. This game was the first FPS shooter that gained widespread popularity. I believe Wolfenstein appeared before Doom but Doom was the pioneer for games like Quake and Unreal Tournament. The blood was horrific in 1993 and compared to today’s standards it amazing at how much we’ve been desensitized. The screenshot brings up my worst Doom fears.

ToeJam and Earl (1991)

ToeJam &Earl

The two player mode picture to the right is exactly how I recall ToeJam and Earl on Sega Genesis. The two player split screen was an awesome addition to this game. The purpose was to find spaceship parts but I mainly remember doing a lot of standing around and feeling lost. This doesn’t necessarily make the game hard but I don’t recall ever advancing. The game reminds me of being lost without a GPS system.

Myst (1993)

Another game that isn’t exactly hard in that it takes skill to advance, it’s just mentally exhausting hard. There are literally no enemies and I think that just frustrated me more. I would spend hours walking around the island trying to figure out anything at all. It was wandering with no purpose through a world that gave no direction. This challenge was probably made more difficult because I was 10 but I made little progress in an extraordinary amount of time.

Bayou Billy (1989)

I was given this game as a present and played it for about a week. My recollection is that Billy had a knife and the crocs in the screen shot weren’t exactly easy to take down. A driving sequence in a jeep also comes to mind as incredibly difficult. I can’t recollect advancing past the first level or two. After a while you just completely give up and never insert the cartridge into the machine again.

Marble Madness (1991)

Marble Madness

This was a fun game. Time would wind down as you progress through mazes as a marble. Difficulty level was hard to very hard. Falling off was the norm and advancing levels not commonplace up to a certain point. Amazingly there were only 6 levels and This was a game I never beat.

Ecco The Dolphin (1992)

Ecco The Dolphin Octopus

The main thing I about Ecco on Genesis was never getting passed the 2nd level. On the back of the case and they had a picture of a whale that I always wanted to get to. Problem was I couldn’t get past this Octopus level. In the first level Ecco was joined by two dolphins and I would just do flips with them until I got bored. We actually used this cartridge and jammed it into the Nintendo to keep the game down and help it work. Ecco was forgotten about and retrieved years later.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1989)

TMNT Electric Seaweed

Never came close to beating this game. The electric seaweed was agonizing and if you were ever lucky enough to make it to the rooftop, your journey would end there. Collecting pizza and disarming bombs comes to mind as challenges. Raphael’s Sai’s were really short and once you lost Donatello, game over. This game was when TMNT was huge and probably my favorite game for a period of time. Those fucking tanks on the rooftop though.

Battletoads (1991)

Battletoads Bike Race

Battletoads was an awesome game and routinely mentioned among the hardest games ever. Rash, Zitz, and Pimple will live on forever. I can’t recollect ever beating the bike race level to the right. There were only 3 continues and this level moved fast and the walls seemed to come out of nowhere to take you down. A big hand punch brings back memories. We loved this game though even though I never saw an ending.

I want to close with an incredible depiction of Spy vs Spy

By Tom Stortz|2014-01-17T10:26:45-05:00January 17th, 2014|Childhood, My Brain|1 Comment

The Grouper Experience

A grouper is a random connection with 6 people. 3 guys get connected with 3 girls and you pay $22 dollars for the matchmaking. I went on one about 2 weeks ago and the thought of $22 dollars never really entered my mind because it was something different. The first drink is on the bar but everything else you have to pay for. It makes sense that Grouper collects the majority of that money and the bar gets 6 customers. The money is secondary to the experience.

The last Grouper went very well. A good description of it can be found here. The one tonight was at Mac’s in Old City. I’ve been there on previous drunk occasions but not frequently. We arrived at around 7:55 when the concierge (Ashley)(Theories exist around Ashley) alerted us that the girls were running 10 minutes late. We grabbed a drink at the bar and passed the time. 3 blonde girls arrive through the door and as we are gazing from our bar stools, it was obvious these were the girls of our grouper. I’ll mention that it was very on the ball to alert us that they were going to be late.

First impressions were a solid 8.5+. Looks aren’t everything so there would never be a score that is a 10. We did our name introductions and I made sure to not forget any names from that point on. We were seated at the back of the bar in a table that looked like this.

I sat on the inside of the booth and Evan and Aaron occupied seats 2, 3, while I sat in 6. We knew that a 3v3 wasn’t a good look and I would have liked to try an every other (it tries too hard) but this is a solid formation. Not overbearing but still mixing it up. We did the introductions and what happened this time was different than last time. Aaron (seat 2) 1v1 seat 1 and then Evan 1v1 seat 4. The previous time it was mostly 6 way for the majority of time but this was different. I 1v1 seat 5 out of social necessity and asked about occupation, location, and general background. She asked the same and we had good banter back and forth. After 10 minutes the group starting coinciding and conversation was flowing. I talked with the girl in the 1 spot about her job and traveling and that also went well. She asked one question about whether I liked to cook and I knew I was put on the spot. I told her honestly I don’t cook and take out more often than not. I knew the answer she was looking for but bullshitting it would come back in poor taste.

My one gripe about Mac’s and this Grouper location is that in my 6 seat, I had no means of communication with the 4 seat. I would glance over and try to get something going but with a person, at no fault of their own, blocking the eye sight, it wasn’t working. Grouper would learn from this comment. The girls were class acts. They all lived together and were friends and they had a nice chemistry between them. As I mentioned earlier they are big into cooking and it’s something that is fun for all involved. I can’t think of one negative to say about these women.

The girl in the back right was photobombing

We picked up the tab which is such an obvious move that I’m not sure why it’s not expected. Why do I feel this way? Moving forward these girls are going to compare any Grouper to this Grouper. This is leaving a good taste in their mouth. I casually said that this was a lot of fun and they said that we were above expectations. I detected a certain amount of truth. Instinctively I’d guess 78% erring to the low side. The odd thing about a Grouper on Thursday night is that work is the next day. I would have happily stayed out but then again, I’m happy to write this post afterwards. It reminds me of this.

All in all it was a positive experience. I’m not sure what may come of it but it’s better than the alternative of doing nothing. I’m hoping that entries like this are better than previous material and any comments would boost viewership. Boosting this blog would be welcomed.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:16:16-04:00January 17th, 2014|My Life|2 Comments

A Perfect Blog – Everything Must Fit!

Synergy

All the self help books preach positive attitude and if you believe in it you can achieve it. It sounds so simple but it’s bullshit. What they don’t tell you is that Everything Must Fit. For a business plan, an invention, or even your personal goals to work or be successful, all components must align perfectly. I’m going to use this blog as an example to explain exactly how this idea fits and how it relates to EVERYTHING YOU DO.

The Blog Build

A blog is built by key pieces that all must work together. If any of the pieces are missing, you cannot achieve maximum potential.

The URL – The URL should pertain to what the blog is about. Rnningfool.com misses this mark because it doesn’t explain what the site is about. It speaks to me personally as in I like to run and I’m a fool but a general audience isn’t going to pick up on this. A website should have a primary goal and that is what should be in the URL. If I wanted to give running advice I’d hope to get the URL runningadvice.com or something similar.

The Title – Every post needs a title and I think that it should be short and leading. It should make the reader want to read on. To be perfectly honest, I’ve written 1,700 posts and haven’t found one title that is a sure fire hit. The title is only a snippet of the post but should give a general overview of what you will be writing about. Make it curiously amusing.

The Content – The most important part. The content should pertain to what your blog is about. Let’s use the running advice idea again; the blog would give posts about running advice. Examples would be attire, shoes, form, workouts, eating, and anything else that pertains to running. I know it sounds simple but unless every post you write is about the exact idea your blog is about, it isn’t going anywhere. This blog is a good example of that. Rnningfool.com has no direction. I write about whatever I want about but there is no focus. All content is not pointing towards a dedicated idea. Unless I earn a following because THEY LIKE ME, I won’t get Google traffic because I don’t have any specific direction.

The Readers – The people who read your blog have to want to interact. A community needs to start and it will snowball from there. People have to come to your website and comment on your posts and become part of what you are doing. This blog will get a few comments from friends which is wonderful but the idea of random people coming to the site and commenting on posts is what will separate this from a person with a blog to an actual website.

The Pictures – An image is a powerful way of connecting to the audience. I used to just put up any image I could quickly find just because I know there is an idea behind every post should have an image. After some thought, I realized each image has to pertain exactly to the what the post is about. That top picture in this post is what has to happen for something bigger to come from these posts. All aspects, including the picture and it’s meaning, have to make sense.

The Promotion – How to get new readers? How is this post going to reach any new eyeballs unless I personally do my part to make it happen. I have to share the link on Facebook, Twitter, forums, and other blogs to promote my work. If I’m proud of it, I have to get it out there. It’s rare something takes off by itself. It takes dedication towards getting it known. With virtually no following this is a difficult task but not a deal breaker. Continuous effort is needed.

Conclusion

A wonderful part about life is that you are constantly learning. Throughout my 20’s I spent a lot of time learning about myself. I learned how to take responsibility for my life, the proper ways of treating other people, and garnered invaluable life experience. Once you start to feel comfortable in your own skin, then it’s time to take that out into the real world and make something happen. I would considering making something happen if you are able to build an idea into substance. Substance is reaching many people with information or improving / simplifying life. For my entire life so far, I’ve only concentrated on myself because that is hard enough to master. With age and wisdom, this idea of everything fitting together is what will propel me further into life’s greater offerings.

This post doesn’t only work with a blog. A restaurant works the same way as the build process I described for a blog. They need excellent food, friendly and expedient service, gripping advertising, inviting atmosphere, and a pricing structure that works. If any part of this is missing than the restaurant will not achieve maximum capacity. An idea is only an idea. A great idea can go horribly wrong in let me count the ways. Life is incredibly tricky because of all the aspects it takes to succeed. I think it’s what makes it so enjoyable. Nothing is easy and it requires work. Not just work, but pointed work. I didn’t have an understanding of this in my younger days but luck only happens to a small percent of the population. To the rest of the successful ones, it requires incredibly time consuming work. The payoff is worth it though because when hard work is rewarded with success, there is no greater feeling.

By Tom Stortz|2014-01-16T00:17:02-05:00January 16th, 2014|My Brain, My Life|0 Comments

The Reverse Martingale

If you’ve ever played Blackjack before, there’s a good chance you’ve heard of the the Martingale betting strategy. Simply put, you double your bet every time you lose. If you have infinite wealth, you will always be up one bet. What I have going for me is the opposite because my strategy has my expectation at 0. This is probably why a betting strategy will never be named after me.

I collected 100 bucks as a referral from Sam signing up for Bovada. I took that 100 and put it on the Saints +8.5 which magically covered with a Colston TD in the waning moments. I then rolled the 190 on the Pats which was a relatively easy cover. So I have 372.73 in my account which I want to fully roll on the Panthers and then take those winnings and put them on the Charges with the points. If all things go correctly, I should end the day with over a K in my account. Notice though that this train of thought and betting strategy can only end in one way, me losing all of the money. Since it’s free money though, it makes it relatively easy to spend it so carelessly. Either way, I’ll at least have one more game of fun and hopefully can root hardcore for Sam’s premonition and the Chargers.

I stuck to beer this weekend and feel pretty good for a Sunday which is unique. I’m even hitting the gym the minute I stop typing this po

By Tom Stortz|2014-01-12T11:30:15-05:00January 12th, 2014|My Life|1 Comment

The Alcohol Induced Blackout

I was able to make the Seinfeld post in about 10 minutes yesterday. As I feel I’ve gotten better at blogging, the length of time to create each post has increased to sometimes over an hour per post. I need to spend that much time on each post if I want to continue to raise this blog’s bar. Needless to say, to me at least, I haven’t been putting time into posting these past few days for reasons which I will explain in this also not stellar post.

On Saturday, after my awesome Friday, I was feeling pretty hyped for the Eagles game. The plan was to go out to Center City and watch the games with the local crowd. It was around 3 and I put 100 bucks of action on the Chiefs feeling pretty pumped about the layout of the day. I bought a fifth of Goose and headed over Evan’s. I incorrectly thought to myself that it makes sense to get a nice buzz before the bar so I don’t have to spend as much cash because Center City bars can add up over hours. I downed 2 Goose and pineapple juice and headed to the bar with Evan, the Shee, Jeff, and Julia to meet up with the McGrath’s and other people we know. If you saw the game on Saturday you’d know that Chiefs lost a thriller to the Colts. My plan was to place the winnings on the Eagles if I won so this actually wasn’t as unfortunate as it seemed. We were pounding pitchers of Lager at a bar called O’Sheas. I recall doing one shot of Fireball and preparing for the game to start and then everything went blank.

I woke up in my bed the next morning unsure if the Eagles won or not. I had slept on all my clothes that I had laid out on my bed from the wash the previous day and thought, “what the fuck happened?” I was searching my brain for some recollection of anything and I’ll I could come up with was some Eagles chants led by Steve and the Fly Eagles Fly song. It was in my mind the Eagles didn’t win but I could hardly remember watching any actual action. Since I’m not a noob to this situation which closely resembles The Hangover, I started searching for clues. No injuries, check. One text saying, “where are you?. American Express card in the actual money portion of the wallet instead of its slot and 0 dollars in my wallet. It could be worse. It was 12 pm and I couldn’t move so I watched the Negotiator for a bit before making myself move. I contacted Evan and told him I was coming over to retrieve my car which I left parked in his lot which is the safe play. I took a taxi over and asked, “what happened last night?”

He said I didn’t come out to the bar after the game and that was it. Nothing irregular. Now I was stumped. I’ve been in these situations before and they rarely ever, perhaps never, work out this well. When I can’t piece 3+ hours of my life together, bad things happen. This was indeed a memory blackout which is the inability to recall events, not a loss of consciousness as a result of drinking too much. I’ve gone through my 20’s blacking out more times than I can count and for the past year or two I’ve done a much better job of leaving the bar or party before reaching this point. This feeling is completely unsettling. I did learn one thing from Evan though that I hadn’t known, he told me we did at least 4 shots together. I remembered 0.

At Evan’s, we watched some of the game (which is incredibly slow compared to RedZone) and I left after the first game. I ate a Wawa club sandwich and drank a coffee before I headed home. At this point I felt like complete poop and started chugging water to help reduce this horrific feeling. Over and over in mind I tried to piece together things I said or did but it’s like a black hole. The above picture isn’t a joke, you literally move from one place to the next with no concept of time. I laid in bed the rest of the night and went to sleep feeling lousy.

The next morning I awoke with a dry mouth and completely cranky for a Monday. I read online that this was the worst day of the year for most people because the holidays were over and it’s winter and a new start to work. I agreed. Throughout the day I continued to chug water but it was to no avail. I would drink a bottle and then have to take a piss 10 minutes later. This is the effect of too much alcohol in your system and your kidneys still trying to recover. Your body doesn’t get hydrated by water. There is nothing to do other than tough it out. I probably urinated a dozen times throughout the day trying to hydrate. I was tired the entire day and when night came I wanted to sleep but the alcohol fucks with your system and makes you fatigued but actual sleep is difficult. I caught a few hours off and on and when I woke up today I felt slightly better. My mouth was (is) still dry but at least I know I’m feeling more like myself. I was able to navigate the day and get to where I am now.

Back in 06′, a post-college fall that resulted in chipping my front two teeth and needing a root canal and crowns.

I write this post to explain the dangers of drinking too much and the physical aftermath of blacking out. I’ve had previous instances of blacking out and doing substantial damage to myself. For the past few years I’ve done a much better job of not getting myself in those situations but last Saturday was a clear cut hazardous situation. The absolute amazing thing is that the people I was with for those few hours weren’t exactly aware that I was black out drunk. They said I was acting drunk obviously but nothing out of the ordinary which shows that you can be black out drunk and still be actively conscious. To me this is incredible. After this instance I read a reddit post on blacking out and a poster said to think of your body as a water pail and filling it up with water. Once the water (alcohol) overflows the pail, your body starts shutting down the less important functions such as memory. I still am in shock that nothing happened and am expecting a bomb of news any time.

It’s a potentially fatal way to live life. When I throw hard alcohol into the mix, I ask for trouble. I rarely throw up from the alcohol anymore and my body just handles it which means I am more likely to black out. This obviously has me considering why I drink and it’s an age old question for me. Completely cold turkey is the only way. My character and genetics don’t allow me to have 2 drinks and call it a night. I may be fine 100 times in a row but at any one time alcohol can be treacherous. Does this mean that I’ll stop completely? Probably not. I know that sounds ridiculous after reading this post but this post isn’t just about me. It’s about any single person who this happens to and it happens to millions throughout the year. By posting this I hope to educate the process of how it happens and the aftermath. If you encounter someone who can’t take care of themselves, getting them to safety is crucial, drunk accidents are no joke. Trust me, I know.

It took me 3 straight days to recover from this and I’m still not 100%. Tomorrow though I should feel normal and return to actively posting. I honestly can’t think properly under these conditions. It affects my entire life negatively.

By Tom Stortz|2014-01-07T23:55:58-05:00January 7th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

Hustling a Poor Boy

Last night was a 9 out of 10. The only way I would give out a 10 is if I wind up in bed with a Harvard educated bombshell who likes me and wants to be my wife. A 9 is high. The night took me from drinks with friends, to drinks with more friends, to drinks with a stripper, to drinks with more friends. It was costly in terms of dollars but extremely worth it in life experience.

It was Jeff’s birthday and my night started off with a grouper which is when Grouper sets up 3 guys with 3 girls at a bar. It was the first time I’ve ever done one and was pleasantly surprised. Adam and Evan were the other 2 of the male side and we met up with 3 girls from Philly at a bar called the Corner. We arrived first and there were two small, circular tables with 3 low round cushion chairs and a 3 person booth. We weren’t sure how to sit and the picture below will show the scenario.

Sitting 1,2,3 would have been the most practical but least inviting. The 2,4,6 combo wouldn’t have been bad but if I were a girl I’d think that I was prey and the guys were hunters. We ended up selecting 1,2,4 which worked out pretty well. The girls arrived about 5 minutes after we did and were punctual which is always a plus. The conversation to start was greetings and college, work, location which I’m sure is all standard. We ordered some drinks, Grouper picks up the first one (it costs 22 bucks for them to set it up), and the waiter carried ours out with Sly Fox cans turned downwards in pint glasses. I immediately thought it was unusual when I saw it and sure enough it proved disastrous. As the waiter delivers one of the girls her sparkling wine, he tips the tray and the 2 remaining drinks fly everywhere. AMAZINGLY I was prepared for what happened and jumped up at the perfect time not to take any liquid in the face. No jokes please. The drinks help lighten the mood which was helpful because conversation can hit its lulls. I learned, one of the girls puts a Fireball (the candy) in water and drinks it. Her phone also takes pictures in shapes due to it being from 1999. All in all though it flowed pretty well and after 2 hours everyone was hungry and looking to get food. At this point I could go into each detail of the conversations which would be good for the blog but wrong towards the people involved.

The 6 of us went to El Vez for dinner and had to wait about 20 minutes for a table. We were seated at a half circle table and ordered some margaritas and Victory’s Mad Elf. We were all pretty loose and the conversation was solid. An interesting thought popped up to have a grouper with like minded people on a specific subject. Meaning if there was a “running” grouper, they’d set you up with 5 other friends who were into the subject. Grouper should probably look into this. Our waiter played for the other team and the joke of the night went to one of the girls who commented on what his girlfriend looked like (a dude) or something like that. At 10:30 or so dinner concluded and we parted ways. It was odd at the end of the night because I was getting a cab to where 2 of the girls were going and I asked if they wanted to share the cab. They couldn’t make up their mind for some reason which I think was because they thought I wanted them to come back to my place which wasn’t the case. Instead I jumped in myself and was brought home by a man from Algeria who didn’t speak the best English but I was grilling on what he wanted to become. A musician.

When I got home there was a crew gathered for Jeff’s birthday. I”m told people love shout outs in the blog so I’m going to go over the entire crew. It was Jeff, Julia, Pat, Mike, Jill, Doyle, Dan, and his other friend whose name escapes me. Julia poured me a double if not triple shot of Evan Williams which I threw back and made me want to puke. I kept it together and we had a few beers before going out to Silk City. Silk City was dead as a doornail smalls and an employee wanted to charge 5 bucks per head. I was negotiating it down when Taylor used a great line, “this is it, 15 bucks for us all, take it or leave.” I circumvented the final offer and we settled on 20 bucks for 7 people which made both parties happy. The 3 dollar Lagers are a decent deal at Silk City but the beer was warm and there wasn’t much crowd. After 15 minutes a group of 3 including myself went down the street to Delilah’s.

It was a 15 dollar cover which I personally don’t find horrible. The action was pretty slow for a Friday night so the girls walking around were plentiful. I was approached by a gorgeous girl with an attitude looking for someone to dance with. I wanna dance with somebody and we began the negotiating process. She was looking for a 3 dance minimum for 50 bucks which in hindsight was actually a good deal and I should have taken it. I scoffed at her offer telling her I’d rather do one for 20 and she basically told me to fuck off in my cheapskate ways. About 2 seconds later a new girl was looking to get me in the private room and I obliged. She didn’t stripper dance for me and I was asking her questions like what do you make on a good night ($1,500+) and how long she’s been doing it (7 years) and if she’d rather do something else. The conversation was more intellectual than sexual which is maybe what happens when you’ve had numerous lap dances over your career. It was like I was trying to use a different method for scoring than a simple lap dance. I made it clear that I wasn’t into spending a lot of money and the champagne room was out of the question. After she got 60 bucks from me I was spent and she had this flashlight in a dark room that she would use to look into your wallet when you went to pay her. At one point I opened mine and a moth flew out and I think out of sheer embarrassment I decided to take out another $100 dollars of Delilah dollars which are actually $120 of real people dollars. I gave her the 100 bullshit dollars and had a few more dances that amounted to nothing. She was a professional at her job because after I was tapped out, she pulled a Richard Parker and didn’t look back and went on to the next schlep.

In astonishment, I met a few people who I knew at the strip club. This is the part where people love shout outs but I’m not sure they love these kind of shout outs so I’ll leave the names out. I left with them and we went back to my place. At some point some bros came back with cheese steaks from Del Rossi’s that looked delicious and Jared and I took a walk to pick up a few. When we got back I had a wonderful late night cheese steak which hit the spot. I asked Sam to bring over blankets if he was planning to sleep there and he brought exactly 0. He was in the city for the open bar that he won at McFadden’s and I was making attempts to meet up with him throughout the night. His best line when I asked him where he was and where he was going was, “I’m at 16th and Arch, don’t worry about it.” Needless to say the sleeping conditions weren’t optimal but they survived.

Jared, Alex, Sam, and myself woke up at about 9:30 and went to get the car from work. I’ll personally tell Alex through this blog that he’s fun to hang out with even if he doesn’t remember hanging out. They drove me back to my car which I picked up and drove home. My car battery is dying from this cold weather and my tire pressure needed a boost. I missed the trash collection as well which sucks because I’m overrun with trash. Other than that, life is splendid and I’m looking forward to a huge Birds W tonight.

E-A-G-L-E-S

By Tom Stortz|2014-01-04T15:22:06-05:00January 4th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

My Jacked Jacket

Jarret Jack would like the title.

On Tuesday, New Years Eve, I lost something that was dear to the warmth of my body, my jacket. A jacket in the winter time is essential for protection from the frigid temperatures that winter brings. My black Jos A. Bank jacket was perhaps my favorite article of clothing and best value purchase I’ve ever made. The coat was under a hundred bucks and I could wear it fashionably in temperatures warmer than 32 degrees. In fact, as long as I had the coat on, I didn’t even need any other fashionable items because no one could tell what was underneath it. It gave me the flexibility of not having to decide if my clothes were proper for the occasion. I never understood the importance of owning a fashionable coat opposed to a coat to keep you warm. This was all taken away from me on Tuesday.

In grade school, it was always the warmest coat was the best coat. This was because you’d walk from your house to the bus and if there was ever recess, you’d need warm attire. I used to rock these types of coats:

These coats don’t cut it anymore when you grow up. You want to try to look like a mature human being and not a guy who can’t afford to upgrade the part of their attire which everyone sees first. Here is a picture of a lookalike Jos A. Bank coat that got stolen. It took me 5 minutes to get a picture of it which is how rare it is.

The best part about it is that you couldn’t over wear it. If you wear the same sweatshirt for 5 days straight people will eventually call you out. No one ever calls you out because of the jacket. You are supposed to wear it when it’s cold. Since you can wear a t-shirt underneath, it takes away from all long sleeve shirts that most people don’t have tons of. This jacket was a serious hit to my wardrobe and now I have to decide if it’s worth waiting until someone probably doesn’t find it, or just suck it up and buy a new one. Tragic.

I’m sure everyone is wondering how it got stolen but there really is no story behind it. I went to a warehouse NYE party at Broad and Girard, not the best area I know, and there was a DIY coat room. This was an actual legit party where they where security was checking ID’s so I wasn’t worried about any riff raff swiping it. I strategically placed it on the upper row near one side of the rack. As the night was finishing and I wanted to retrieve my coat and it wasn’t there. I considered jacking some other poor saps coat, and knew many people were doing this, but I knew it wouldn’t solve anything. I left empty handed. My Nike running gloves were also casualties in the coat.

By Tom Stortz|2014-01-02T21:40:29-05:00January 2nd, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

Philly Bar Crawl 12/26/13

I joined a Philly bar crawl tonight an hour and a half in. I met up at bar 7 of 13 and missed the bright spot at Ladder 15 but was met with a whirlwind of flames at Nodding Head which is not a gay bar. I thought the name signified this but was mistaken. The beer selection was average and overpriced. For $5.50 ,I drank a 5.5% Tannenbaum which I’d rate as decent. The other beer choices I wasn’t even considering because they contained fruit and desserts. Which after writing that last sentence makes it sound like a gay bar. People were a tad drunker than I was but that’s somewhat of a rarity for me. I’m used to being there at the open and by the middle I’m the one falling over. This time I used a different strategy that involved getting there late which worked somewhat admirably as I was able to make some decent observations.

After 3 (Royal) Tannenbaums (a joke I was ready to use but couldn’t find the right time) at Nodding Head we traveled to Time. The Green Flash costs $6.50 but contains about 7% in a pint glass and is quite satisfying. At Time, there were two pilots who fly for Fed Ex and go from Philly to Germany on a regular basis who may be American contacts while I’m in Germany. They were interesting but talking to two random bros at a bar crawl is not a good look. I had 2 Green Flashes and a Jameson and Ginger as alcohol consumption. After Time was Bar and people were starting to get drunker. Bar missed the target because they try to serve good beer out of a can. It’s an OK idea but the beer just tastes better cold and out of a glass. So the 12oz $4 Red Betty IPA tastes worse than a $4 16oz Lager at a good bar. It was decent and the people controlled the jukebox which lead to hit or miss. Van Morrison was popular and there was a song playing that I can’t identify but have heard before.

At this point people were scattering and I had a decision to make. Was I going to sit there and keep drinking to fit in with people I’ve never met before or go home. I walked to City Hall, clicked a picture of City Hall (to the right), and went home. The taxi driver who drove me home was from Nigeria and saying how passionate he was about being a taxi driver. I asked him what he would do if he wasn’t a taxi driver and he didn’t have a good answer. Good intentions, hard world.

Below are some females talked to throughout the night and my honest opinion.

Girl 1– 9-12th grade teacher. Very attractive and the students must not be able to pay attention. Teaches the Philly school district. Kept trying to yank out her phone after 3+ minutes. Wasn’t into drinking (smart). Asked what I did.
Girl 2 – Defense job. Pretty, athletic. Didn’t offer much. Ready to leave. Did ask what I did.
Girl 3 – Used government words. Cute. Easy to talk to. Wasn’t into drinking.
Girl 4 – Fun loving. Gullible. Extremely nice. Boys 2 Men Fan.

By Tom Stortz|2013-12-26T23:48:52-05:00December 26th, 2013|My Life|1 Comment

My Hangover Status

I suggest you read this post at buzzfeed to fully grasp where I’m coming from. This description of the 9 hangovers was pretty on point for me. I’ve probably experienced them all but have some that tend to hit me more than others. If you don’t read this at buzzfeed, you won’t understand the full description.

1. The Basic

Mild nausea, mental and physical slowness

I rarely get the basic. One or two beers doesn’t hit me and once I hit 6-7, I’m going for gold.

2. The What Have I Done

Paranoia, self-loathing

This feeling is always the worst. You know you did something but are unsure of what. Anyone you come in contact with you are always wondering in the back of your mind if they hate you for something you did. Lots of apologizing usually follows this except you don’t know who to apologize to so you just hit everyone.

3. The Total Blackout

Complete memory loss

2 and 3 go hand in hand for me. When I was younger I’d be black out drunk from 10pm to 2am. Now I tend to leave the bar by 12 because I’m an old man to prevent this. Either way this feeling is one of the worst because of the uncertainty and danger that arises with it. Believe me, I know.

4. The Physical

Headache, vomiting, diarrhea

Never had this problem.

5. The False Dawn

Excessive joy, followed by a terrible low

The wise alcoholic knows that waking up feeling good is always bad. Whenever this happens to me it’s usually when I know I can be worthless for the day and I keep drinking immediately.

6. The Existential Crisis

Depression, pessimism, nihilism, taking a long, hard look at yourself

I live in this phase on Sundays. I swear off drinking and tell myself I’m going to turn it around. This description fit me to a T. C. I’d like to think that hitting this hangover would mean that you recognize what is happening but the toxins from alcohol induce this horrible feeling in yourself. It’s a horrible way to go through life but unavoidable if you are going to drink in excess.

7. The Rage

Extreme irritation, loss of patience, violent visions

Not too much of an issue for me. I’m always way madder at myself.

8. The Apocalypse

Everything

Once again, not really an issue. I’ve put so much alcohol into my system that it’s rare that I’ll be completely dysfunctional. It does happen from time to time but I think this happens to people who drink too much every so often instead of alcoholics who drink too much every weekend.

9. The Pardon

Joy, peace, smugness

I get this sometime when I know I drank a lot and should feel terrible but oddly enough am ok. I’d say this happens about 3% of the time I drink too much. Very rarely because alcohol knows it needs to punish the sinners.

By Tom Stortz|2013-12-17T14:32:57-05:00December 17th, 2013|My Brain, My Life|0 Comments