About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Last Few Days

The title might make you think I was going somewhere or doing something exciting but I’m not.  I’ll just run through random bs from the last couple days.  My friend Evan said that it really doesn’t even matter what you put in a blog as long as it’s something to keep people unbored.   I had 32 people visit my site on Friday.  32!  So that’s a start.  Once the domain name gets established hopefully I’ll hit triple digits one day.

Here’s a recap of my weekend highlighting the major points.

– Bowled a 213 last night ending my streak of hundreds of non 200 games.

– Shot a 89 on a par 66 course which wasn’t very good.  I feel like I play down to the level of the course which is one of the reasons I never want to play there again.  Walnut Lane and Twining Valley are currently the only 2 courses on my list.  Slow greens, indistinguishable fairways, awkward lies…   If they sold beer on the course I would reconsider.

– Lost 125 dollars Saturday night at 3am playing someone heads up for 115 dollars each game.  Won the first and lost the next 2.  I was under the influence at the time.

– I’ve only went to the gym once in the last week and stopped running for a while so I feel like a piece of shit.  I don’t know how people can go through life never exercising.  I intend to pick up my routine this week.

– I went car shopping for a new TL.  It’s constant haggling with these clowns.  I have time on my side so I’m not rushed into anything but I have the feeling I’ll cave sooner rather than later.  I was offered 1500 down and $530 a month which would include the money I still owe on this car.  I think this price is too high and if anyone who reads this has experience with recent car sales, I’d be happy to listen.

– I got a new Storm for 200 plus a 50 dollar mail in rebate from Verizon.  I told them that I want to speak to their cancellation department if they weren’t going to let me upgrade 4 months early.  They gave in pretty easily and I got a storm with new found insurance.  I really don’t even want the storm but I’m tired of my current phone and am looking for an upgrade.  I’m sure I’ll be writing about the good an bad about it once I get it.

Finally I want to send off with a funny video.  Only the last 15 seconds are funny but you have to watch the full minute to take it all in.

By |2010-01-25T23:02:23-05:00May 11th, 2009|Sports|0 Comments

The Wrestler

Even though this has been out for a while, I don’t get around to watching movies when they first come out.  I like watching movies that critics put in high regard because I like to disagree with them.

This movie was god awful.  I really thought it was a piece of poop.  Not a small piece but a giant stinking turd.  Mickey Rourke is hideous.  The plot was pointless.  I don’t understand the praise behind the movie.  I can’t even find things to write about it because literally nothing happened the entire movie.  I could sum it up in one sentence and you would have saved yourself two boring hours.  Over the hill man wrestles, gets a heart attack, ruins bad relationship with his daughter, wants Marisa Tomei, realizes his life sucks, dies in the ring.  It didn’t say if he really dies but who really cares anyway.  The best part about it was Marisa Tomei showing her tits.  I’m am just really baffled people think this was a good movie.

By |2013-03-15T16:41:59-04:00May 10th, 2009|Movies|0 Comments

Thank You

I want to take this post and throw some shout outs to a few various people who have affected my life tremendously.  I made it easier to comment now which is the main reason no one has done so. (right…)

Laura, my sister.  Thank your for peeling my EZ pass off of my windshield.  After I got it back from you it never stuck to the windshield again.  I now have to put it on my dashboard and any time I make a sharp turn it slides across the dashboard and falls on the ground.  Every time it falls off I think of you.

I want to thank Bill Murtha.  Freshmen year of college I lent him my Playstation2.  After a couple of days I come in to see the Ps2 barely sitting on the corner of the bureau.  Not surprisingly it fell off and the 2nd controller port never worked again thus causing me to use my multitap to play against multiple people.  This was a telling sign of your clumsiness but you put up with my drunken shit for 4 years so I can let this minor incident slide.

I want to thank Bud Schmidt for saving my life.  He was driving a golf cart down the 15th, i think, hole at Twining valley and he put the cart in neutral to make it go faster down the hill.  Bud was always trying to make the cart go faster.  Anyway his hat flew off his head and instead of riding down to the end of the hill he decided to make a hard left trying to go back for the hat (genius).  I can’t remember exactly but I think the force flew him out of the cart and I held on for dear life hoping that the cart wouldn’t flip.  Fortunately it didn’t but I won’t forget Bud’s attempt on my life and then his courageous act of saving my life.

Next up is Gene Dooley.  Gene actually did save my life, and his own, as I wasn’t paying attention driving and we were heading off the road and he rightfully put his hand on the wheel from the passenger side and steered us back to safety.  Dooley may be one of the best beer pong players I’ve met although I’m sure he doesn’t need you to tell him that because he already knows.  I will however out drink the party boy under the table even though he’s too embarrassed to admit it.

And just a few shout outs.  I’ll thank Bill Gates for making me aware that I never want to play RuneScape due to the fact that he probably spent hundreds of hours clicking his mouse mining for ore.  It still makes me crack up laughing every time I think about it.  Although you were a beast a Quake 3 with that fucking rail gun.  BG is always looking to hack or scam someone to put the odds in his favor.

I’ll thank my brother for starting a blog and making us look like 2 blogging dbags from the same family.  (His link is on the right side of my blog)  But just to point something out, there is no such thing as heavy traffic near the Dreshertown shopping center.  Try sitting on 76 for an hour and moving 1 foot.  People will hate on the blog but the easiest comeback is “if you don’t like it, don’t read it.”

And finally Jess Baker for being one of the only people who actually read this thing.   Without positive feedback I may have lost hope and this masterpiece of a blog may never have come to exist.  There you go, there’s your shout out.

On a serious note.  I would like to thank Brian Gallagher for introducing me to classic rock.  I would never have found my deep appreciation of Bruce, Billy, the Eagles, Elton John… the list goes on.  I lost touch with you a couple years ago, through fault of my own, and even though I don’t know the events that occurred, I know you were too young to pass on.  Everytime I hear I’ve just seen a face by the beatles, summer highland falls by Billy, or that shitty song Moonlight Shadow by Mike Oldfield you’ll come to mind.  He liked listening to songs on repeat which drove me nuts.  He also introduced me to  MD 20/20 aka Mad Dog.  This led to me drinking 3 mad dogs which made me pass out standing up next to a 20 gallon fish tank.  I put my arm through the tank getting water everywhere and leaking into the room below.  In my drunk stupor I was covered with water and had this brilliant idea to unplug it.  After making an attempt Bill Gates yelled at me and called me a fucking idiot because I was trying to electrocute myself.  Even though I’m not a firm believer in god there have been times in my life where someone was watching over me.  Brian was a good guy and good friend through my college years and my thoughts are with his family through this tough time.

By |2011-05-18T22:37:21-04:00May 8th, 2009|My Life|4 Comments

Decision Making

This is the problem with the majority of people today.  When someone asks you a question, a good answer is never “I don’t know”.  Forming opinions and making decisions is essential to being successful.  For instance, if someone asks you what you want to eat and you answer I don’t know than I have to think to myself, “well if you don’t know what you want how am I supposed to know.”

I’m in the process of purchasing a new vehicle.  My first car purchase I was a rook and pretty much was just getting my feet wet.  Now i’m going in prepared although my situation is a bit different than some and I feel a bit strung up in my options but as the buyer I still have negotiating power.  My car has some dings and dangs due to some reckless driving in unusual circumstances.  This puts me in a bad spot when turning in my car because there is a cost to damage and will hinder my options potentially.  Ideally, the dealership will buy the car back from the financing company (damage and all) and then sell me a brand spanking new 09′ TL for similar payments which I’m making now.  I will pit the 2 dealerships against each other and I’m considering adding a 3rd.  I have 5 months to do this which will give me plenty of negotiating time.  The dealerships will work with me as long as I’m willing to purchase a new car from them so I won’t really be looking at anything but Acura’s.

My new car coincides with my purchase of a new phone.  I’ve been haggling with Verizon to sell me a Blackberry but they are being stubborn.  So I’ve decided to throw AT&T into the mix and get an Iphone if Verizon doesn’t budge.  This means that I have to negotiate AT&T to picking up my cancellation fee from Verizon.  Problem is the Iphone doesn’t have insurance and looking at my past record and the fact I’ve been dropped by the phone insurance company, this poses a problem.

I’m actually having fun with these stupid life situations but it’s because I look at it as a game.  I don’t give a shit about the person on the other end of the line or the salesman across from me.  They mean nothing to me, just a person doing a job.  If you take that approach and don’t care if you are being a dick, you will get better deals in life.  I haven’t always taken this life philosophy but as I’ve gotten older and see how many pricks there are out there, it’s a dog eat dog society.  Everything is negotiable and the ability to make decisions is a priority.  Next time you think about answering a question with I don’t know, think again, at least think.

Ice T’s Wife.

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By |2011-05-18T22:34:51-04:00May 6th, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

What People Want

I think it’s funny that people could care less what I do and more about what I think.  Meaning I write what I do during weekdays and weekends and people tell me it’s boring as hell.  But when I write what I think is proper technique on taking a shit I get people telling me that I’m spot on.  So I’ll keep that in mind in future posts.

I want to write about internet browsing.  I’m hopefully going to enlighten you on techniques to make surfing the net easier.  When you type in urls you don’t type in “www.rnningfool.com” you type in rnningfool and then hold ctrl and hit enter.  You can do this for any site and turns you from a noob to someone who has a clue.  Try it now, type in espn in your url box, highlight it and hold ctrl and hit enter, goooood.  When you fill in field boxes, use tab.  Everyone probably knows this but when you go backwards hold shift+tab.  Saves time and doesn’t use the mouse.

Can anyone explain to me how wikipedia has become the know it all source on the web.  Supposedly people add the information and it is edited by ?  Who are these know it all’s that edit the information and make sure it’s correct.  I honestly use Wikipedia as my source for anything I want to know and I trust its content, is that wrong?

Since bathroom humor is so popular I think it’s imperative that you read on the john.  I’ve been reading the bathroom book and I am constantly learning useless facts.  I think reading on the john should be the indicator of how intelligent you are.  It’s kind of like an IQ test.  If you sit there and just try to get in and out real quick you aren’t taking the proper time to shit.  You probably think that the time on the john is a waste and you have more important things to do.  This should put you in the lower class of IQ.  If you read something like people or something where you only look at the pictures and captions it’s slightly better than no reading at all, but not by much.  Books are overkill because you can’t sit there all day, but normal magazine articles and things that should be short entertainment are ideal.

I used to do the crossword puzzle on the hopper in college.  I would have about an hour in between classes and nothing to do.  So I’d find the one, nicest bathroom with no one in it.  Like a 5th floor of a nice office building and just settle in for a nice think session.  Learning on the toilet has to be one of the best places because there is nothing to get distracted by and concentration is at its max.  However, you know you’ve been on too long if your feet and legs start to get pins and needles, that’s when it’s time to get up and leave.  Also, always wash your hands.  It’s disgusting to leave and not wash your hands no matter what the circumstance is.  I may write about gross topics but I always practice proper etiquette.

To finish up this post, I watched Schindlers list and found the movie amazing.  I didn’t cry because I’m too much of a man but I was on the verge of a tear when Oskar was saying how he could have saved more money at the end.  Brilliant acting by Oskar (Liam Neeson).  I know if you’ve seen me since I’ve seen it I’ve probably talked about it but it was really an awesome flick.  What the Germans did to the Jews was awful but to tell the tale of Oskar was really inspiring.  4 stars without a doubt.  Next up I have to watch the Wrestler or Slumdog.

By |2011-05-18T22:32:31-04:00May 5th, 2009|My Brain|0 Comments

Broad Street Run

I finished in 60:15 which was 15 seconds off my goal and finished in 170th out of 23,000 people.  I’m pretty pleased with the result.  If I had a couple of more weeks to train I think I could have dropped a minute or two off my time.  I felt pretty good the entire race.  My legs started to fatigue at mile 7 and I dropped to probably 6:15 mile pace for mile 7,8,9 but the last mile I finished at 6  pace.  Next race I”ll do will be the Sea Isle 10 miler in August I think.  Then the Distance run in September and I’ll contemplate the Marathon in November but most likely I won’t be motivated enough to train for it.  If I’m not going to take the race seriously and train I don’t see any point to doing it.

I actually enjoyed my sober weekend.  I woke up each day feeling good and got things done.  I have one more book to read before I exhausted everything I bought from Amazon.  I started Schindler’s List and Get Shorty so I’ll finish them this week.  I’m also going to start a poker tab up top to give an overview of the games I play and money I try to make.  Other than that everything is business as usual.  People have been told me that my posts haven’t been as good lately and for that I’m sorry but my life isn’t non stop entertainment, my bad.

By |2013-03-15T16:42:08-04:00May 4th, 2009|Running|0 Comments

My thoughts on Catcher in the Rye

In an unusual turn of events, I was updated to the fact the broad street run is this Sunday and not the next Sunday.  This means that I will remain sober throughout the weekend so that I can do well in the run.  My bib number is 1206, which means I should finish around that spot out of 26,000 people.  I put my time in at 65 minutes which would equate to 6:30 mile pace but I’m hoping to be closer to 60 minutes.

I went out to the bar last night after only 3 beers, normally i’ve drank 12+ before going out and it certainly is a different experience.  I notice people who are too drunk and it’s a real I opener to how I probably act 95% of the weekends a year.  Plus when I go to the bar now everyone seems really young.  I’m fairly certain that this will continue to occur as I  get older.  Another noticeable fact is that the majority of people aren’t very attractive.  Alcohol really does wonders to increase having a fun time on a weekend.   On a plus side I remembered everything that happened last night and I woke up today early and finished up Catcher in the Rye.

I started the book on Thursday and literally read it throughout the majority of my free time to finish it up this morning.  This was a really entertaining book and I’m glad I reread it.    I’m not sure how they can teach you this book in high school.  Time and time again I keep thinking the same thing about my school experience.  I wasn’t ready to really understand ideas being taught to me.  I felt this same way about college.  I think it’s funny too that Holden thought it was ok and interesting when people got sidetracked and digressed from the main topic which I feel i’m doing now.  What I mean is that they taught me about interest rates and how to calculate values of companies but I had no real world experience so I didn’t understand what I was learning.  Sure I could put numbers into formulas and figure out answers but that’s all they were, answers.  It’s the same thing with the Catcher in the Rye.  I read it in high school and did all the outlines and answered all their questions and learned the vocab, but at that point of my life it had no meaning.  It was just learning enough to get a passing mark, it had no meaning, there was no thought behind it.

That being said I want to write what I took out of the novel sitting here 10 years after reading it the first time.  I read the wikipedia page too after I finish the book so that I can see what other people have already thought.  This actually would make me a phony because I’m not coming up with my own thoughts but since I know this I think it’s acceptable.  The concept of him being the catcher in the rye and trying to save the innocent children from falling off the cliff into adulthood intrigues me.  How he only relates to young people and considers all adults phony is interesting as well.  His infatuation with Jane and his inability to talk to her is unusual, always waiting to be in the right mood.  He tries to act mature and thinks he’s mature even though he’s just a kid.  He presents himself as an adult yet I think he is doing everything in his power to stop from becoming one.  I like how he always describes people by telling you about their faults.  Everyone is phony.  I’m not sure how that correlates to life as I see it because even though I do think people have hidden agendas sometime and they may be putting up fronts to make you think about them differently, there are genuine people out there.  I try my best to be honest and candid and I think I display that a bit in some of these posts.  If people can’t trust you then they probably aren’t your friend.

If you’ve read this much more power to you because I feel like I just wrote a paper for school.  However, when I’m not hungover on a weekend and have plenty of free time I amuse myself by writing.  Tomorrow is the 10 mile run where I will beat 25,000+ people and give myself an ego boost.  It’s a good feeling going to the run and pointing out person after person and saying i’m faster than you, i’m faster than you…  Here’s to another sober night.

By |2011-05-18T22:26:48-04:00May 2nd, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

Real Estate Riches

I figure I’ll make a post about this because I went to a free workshop last night and I want to get peoples opinions.  Basically this company is asking for $9,800 dollars, that is not a typo, to teach you how to buy distressed properties, rehab them, then either find tenants or sell them at a profit.  There are other techniques to this that they won’t give away in the workshop but it’s the general idea.  I know it sounds like a scam but I actually think that if you had a lot of free time and wanted to pursue the idea that with  dedication and motivation you could turn a decent profit.  The upfront money doesn’t bother me so much, I just don’t think I can find the time with working the business to give it my full effort.  However, I will call them back and go for the interview to get some more information and see if it’s a viable business plan.

An amusing antecdote.  At the seminar the guy puts up a “finance” problem.  He says you want to buy a house for 100,000 dollars.  You put 20,000 dollars down and get a loan from the bank of 80,000.  You end up selling the house for 200,000 dollars.  You pay the bank back the 80,000,  what is your ROI?  Just to note, I’m the youngest person in this workshop by about 20 years and probably one of the only ones who finished college.  The bro in front of me is an obnoxious redneck who loves to answer all the speakers rhetorical questions.  Anyway, I answer 500% because you put 20,000 down, you make 100,000 on the deal and make 500% on your money disregarding the interest you would have had to pay on the 80,000.  Everyones astonished that I was able to figure out this brainteaser and the bro gives me a $50 dollar gas card.  At least the trip wasn’t for nothing.

Just to finish this post I wanted to list a song that doesn’t grows old on me.

By |2016-10-28T15:47:34-04:00April 30th, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

I am a bad person

Don’t blame my parents, they taught me right from wrong but as Latarian Milton (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLeVlBca5lg) says “it’s fun to bad things.” This woman at a local pizza parlor loves to call me baby. I’m 6-0, 175, there is no way I resemble a baby.  I know she obviously wants the cack.  Anyhow, I order a breakfast and get a half and half Nantucket Nectar. I’m getting really sidetracked but I really like the half and half and I think Snapple may have changed their ingredients in their Lemon Snapple and I really like that too but it’s still second to Half and Half.  The total was 8 dollars and change and I paid with a big faced ten.  She was in some conversation with the other lady about how her daughter was only 16 and doing hoodrat things.   So she takes my money starts getting me some coins and then she gives me back a ten and and one obviously thinking I paid with a 20. So my conscience kicks in and is like “dude this is practically stealing.” And I think back “yeah I know, good start to the day.”  So not only did I not leave quickly but I made sure to use extra oregano and garlic just to act as nonchalant as possible. I hope that Plaza Pizza on 3rd and Spring Garden don’t read my blog because the lady who calls me baby would get axed.

Which leads me to another point. When you have a blog, anyone can read it. People talk and somehow word gets around to my parents that I have a website and write down what I think. At first I thought I would have to censor my shit to not piss them off and then I thought I’m 25 and can pretty much do as I choose so if they don’t like it they don’t have to read it. I’m pretty sure Howard Stern doesn’t feel any remorse to his parents when he makes pornstars ride the sybian or talk about how small his cock is. He actually used a hilarious analogy yesterday comparing a small dick to an baby egg in a nest. If you don’t get it then just stop living.

Another funny thing is that people sometimes read this at work and me putting up pictures of hot chicks in little clothing isn’t ok. I refuse to label my posts NSFW in case Jamie Dimon is lurking over your shoulder. Honestly, I’m happy that people read this at all. I like to think I’m not completely wasting my time to entertain myself. Writing about shit that happens to me and what I think about keeps me thinking opposed to turning on the television . I’m ending the post with another good picture that is SFW. (Safe for work for all the nubs).  It’s golf season…

stacked20golfer

By |2011-05-18T22:18:46-04:00April 30th, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

Nineties TV shows and Video Games

I wanted to make a post about growing up in the nineties.  I can’t really remember anything about the eighties because I was only alive in them for 6 years.   This will be a nostalgia post and I will hopefully bring up everything that was grand during that time period.

I watched a lot of TV growing up.  I watched Nickelodeon like it was my job.  Doug (there was something about this show), Hey arnold (lost its allure when Geralds voice changed), Salute your Shorts (I remember Ugh, butnick, donkeylips, tele, the geek and beauty queen dina I think), Wild and Crazy Kids (I used to really like to this show), Hey Dude (I loved Melody or melanie and I’m pretty sure it’s Ben Stiller’s wife now), Guts (mona was hot although I didn’t realize it), and there was some arcade show on at 6 in the morning which I used to really like but would hardly ever get to watch.  I also had a ridiculous crush on Alex Mack from the Secret world of Alex Mack.

Then there were those classic shows like Saved by the Bell and Full House which I must have watched every episode multiple times because they played 2 episodes of both every day for probably ten years straight.  I was obsessed with GI Joes and had all the figures and the fortress and vehicles and everything.  Voltron was my favorite but I never really got into the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers but I’m sure I’ve seen my share of episodes.

I also played way too many video games.  I’ll start with Nintendo and work from there.  We played Tecmo Super Bowl, Baseball Stars, Battletoads, Olympic Summer games, honestly I played so many games I can’t even think of them all.  Then I got Genesis where I spent time playing games I can’t remember.  Then Playstation where I played all the Resident Evils and Crash Bandicoots and tons of other games.  I used to import games from Japan which were all in their foreign language and try to play them by holding the button in the back left of the Playstation down with tape.  Electronics Boutique had to change their policies on returning games because we would by the games play them for a month or 10 days and then return them for a new game.  We treated EB like a blockbuster.  Why we didn’t go to blockbuster and just rent them was beyond me but I think there was coolness factor of going to the mall by yourself when you were in middle school.   Then Dreamcast where I had Virtual Tennis and NBA 2k.  Then I bought a 64 specifically for Bond.  I played this game a ridiculous amount and we would play the complex, 4 way, for hours on end.  Perfect Dark was better than Bond I don’t really care what anyone says, there really is no argument.  I know I missed out on so many bad ass games but I will edit it when they come to my mind.

It’s pretty pathetic that all I can remember from the nineties are television shows and video games but aside from intramural sports and school I’m pretty sure that’s all I really did.

By |2016-10-27T22:28:15-04:00April 28th, 2009|Childhood|0 Comments

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