About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Postal

I completely understand how people go postal.  It would never happen to me because couldn’t let myself do something crazy but I’ll give a quick explanation of how it happens.  I have a 25 minute commute when there is normal traffic.  Today I start my drive and immediately there is construction ahead but the workers don’t block off the entrance so people are driving into the construction and then being forced to turn around which creates a giant clusterfuck of cars.   I navigate that with only a quick detour.  I merge onto Kelly from Ridge which always has traffic but I’m used to it.  There is one light on Kelly that I literally have never gotten through on one try.  Meaning it is always red and I have to stop there every morning instead of cruising through on a green.  Kelly drive is fine traffic wise and I get to the art museum no problem.  I take race.  At about 13th and race there is a giant truck backing into this tiny garage and literally halts traffic for a couple of minutes.  Then race intersects broad and some numnuts is in such a hurry he runs a red light only to be stopped in the middle of the intersection blocking everyone from crossing.  I finally cross and then there is a cement truck moseying his way back and forth halting traffic for what seemed like 10 minutes.  My 25 minute commute took me 45 minutes and then writing about it took me another 5 for a total waste of 25 total minutes.  On a good note Lucy, the radio station, played Shimmer by Fuel, In the Blood by Better than Ezra, and Tonight Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins so at least the radio was doing its job.

By |2011-05-18T22:13:59-04:00April 28th, 2009|My Brain|0 Comments

Things don’t operate smoothly

I’m not sure what it is but doing everyday things seem to turn into unusual events.  For instance, I go to the bank to make a deposit.  There is hardly anyone there and only one teller.  I stroll in and walk over to the stand so I can make out my deposit ticket.  I begin filling it out and some squirrly old man cruises through the door and bolts over to the stand.  He gets a slip and starts filling out the paper work at lightning speed.  If you know anything about the bank you know that it’s a race for who can fill out there deposit ticket faster and get to the teller.  So now I’m in rush mode to fill out my ticket and I’m practically scribbling my chickenscratch which is hardly legible.  Obviously this beast beat me to it and I had to wait behind him so he could collect his cash.  Normal trips to the bank turn into nightmares.  Tellers take breaks the minute I walk in or they switch the drive through to red when I’m about to pull up.  I really dread going to the bank.

Another thing I don’t understand is the way the air-co and heat temperature is set in cars.  My car has it so I can set the exact degree I want.  They can save their money on the technology because I only use 3 settings.  It’s either off, all the way hot or all the way cold.  There is no in between.  If it’s hot, I go cold, if it’s cold, I go hot, if it’s nice, I open the window.  And what’s the deal with the transition from winter to summer.  I put my air conditioner on for the first time this year and it starts shooting out what looks like poisonous gas.  This white cloud of air comes shooting at my face full force.  I feel like I’m about to breathe in Carbon Monoxide and pass out while I’m driving.  I get to get a new car in a couple of months though so that makes me happy.  Even though my car now isn’t even 3 years old I’ve had enough of it.

A final thought is that I don’t know why I write this blog.  I told my friends it’s like something is telling me to do it.  I don’t believe in higher powers so it’s nothing like that and I really don’t have any expectations from doing this so I’m not exactly sure what I mean when I say that but, somewhere down the line I have a feeling something will come from it.  My next post will be about my business ideas that I’m do lazy to work on myself so if anyone is interested in stealing my ideas, stay tuned to the next entry.
Picture of Marisa Miller to keep everyone happy.marisa_miller_hfs

By |2011-05-18T22:11:37-04:00April 27th, 2009|My Brain|0 Comments

Weekend

Pretty tame weekend. Went to Horsham Valley to golf on Friday. I hit the ball reasonably well but my short game still needs some work. I was 93 or 94 which isn’t very good on a par 66 but I did 5 putt a green and give away stroke after stroke. I also played on Sunday at Limeklin. The course is in really good shape and for 30 some dollars after 3:30 was a pretty good deal. We played blue-red and I was able to get off the tee pretty well but had the same issues putting and inside 75 yards. I was 52 on blue and 45 on red for a 97. I decided to drink a 6 pack on the back nine after butchering the blue course. It obviously helped as I was able to string some decent holes together.

I went to the shore on Saturday and then to Ac later in the day. The weather was nice but not quite as warm as I would call ideal. I got some sun though. I dropped a couple hundred in AC playing blackjack. It was one of those sessions where you just can’t get anything going. I don’t think I won 3 hands in a row one time throughout maybe 6 shoes. So it goes.

If you are familiar with the last line of my last paragraph you would guess that I just finished the book slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut. I found the book to be interesting throughout although I bit unusual writing style with all the short, choppy paragraphs. I’m not sure how much I can really write about it because although it kept my interest I didn’t follow the time traveling and the themes behind it. I’ll read the wikipedia page on it but I’m sure I’m a dolt who didn’t get the real messages behind the book.

Other than that I went running both sat and sun for short distances. 4 on Saturday and 6 on Sunday. I literally died on Sunday with 2 miles to go. I don’t know if it was the heat or what but I wasn’t pushing myself that hard but I just lost all strength and stamina at the later part of the run. I’m not too worried though as I will be in shape come May 10th.

By |2011-05-18T22:09:53-04:00April 27th, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

Eating & Shitting

Eating is something that everyone has to do everyday. Whether you are learning or working in an environment, you will have to get into some sort of an eating routine. This means you will find the places that you like the most and fit them into your schedule. There is something called variety that I completely ignore. I literally eat at 3 places during my work week. A sandwich shop, a pizza place, and JRP. (John’s Roast Pork for the noobs). I only order 2 types of sandwiches, it used to be 3. It’s either a turkey club on white toast and mayo or a jewish hoagie (this spell check is telling me I spelled hoagie wrong) without the kraut. At the pizza place I usually order a chicken bacon ranch pizza or a cheese burger. That’s it. There’s no switching it up because I like what I like. When I was at Pitt I either ate Veracruz quesadillas or Arby’s or Primanti’s. I’d do some variety sometimes but that’s how it’s been throughout my life. Anyone else only pick the same places and then pick the same things day after day? For what it’s worth I like Wendy’s over any other fast food place.

This brings me to shitting. This is a “gross” topic but everyone does it and I want to give my opinion on it. Also everyone knows girls don’t fart or poop so there’s no need to be embarrassed by my crude lingo. Everyone can take a dump but its after that there should be a revolutionized standard. First things first, some people like to put the toilet paper on the roll. No. I feel like such a jackass sitting on the hopper spinning a roll of toilet paper on a roll. I keep the roll on top of the dispenser and unravel manually. Then the next step is folding or crumpling. If you fold, I’m guessing you may have some homosexual tendencies. There is obviously neatness when it comes to rocking a deuce but folding the paper is going over the top. You unravel, crumple and wipe. This next step is where controversy brews. Some people can wipe their ass sitting down. Honestly I have no idea how this happens. Everyone knows, (they actually don’t) that you have to wipe from front to back. If you wipe from back to front you are putting your ball sac into play. This leaves me saying that you have to at least stand up a little bit to wipe properly. Wiping isn’t complete until there is nothing on the toilet paper. My brother said he wipes an extraordinary amount of times and everyone laughed, but at least it gets the job done. I’m going to throw out that average wiping is 5 times but can easily swing higher. That is my opinion on how to successfully take a shit.

Some people might think this is a disgusting topic but I purchased this domain name to write what I think so if you don’t like it then don’t read it.

Completely off topic. I don’t watch the show Lost but it seems completely retarded. I was at the gym watching the show on the treadmill and I assume it was a later episode and all the members are on a plane going back to the island?!?! If you got off the island why the fuck are you going back? I really have no interest in ever watching the show although I know people love it.

By |2011-05-18T22:08:32-04:00April 22nd, 2009|My Brain|0 Comments

Update

I figured I’d start with an update of what’s been going on with my life. Fortunately it won’t take too long to write as I’ve been doing nothing. My life basically breaks down into work the business for 5 days, have 2 nights of drunken weekends and then repeat. I do have a little change to the routine coming up. The Broad Street run is May 10th and I actually will attempt to do well. I went running yesterday starting here in Manayunk and running to the light post a bit before the art museum. Literally 5 minutes into the run I am crossing the street and fail to lift my one foot up over the curb and clip it and fly face first on the sidewalk, something you would see straight outta failblog.org. Some bro is looking at me like I’m retarded and I’m thinking I’m just getting started on this 12 mile run and I have scraped hands and knees. Anyhow I did the run at about 6:50 pace and then today I ran 3 miles at 6 minute pace. I intend to cut back on my drinking over the next couple weekends and get in top shape for the run. It’s unusual I am prioritizing anything over weekend sloppiness. I’m going to work on making this domain name a bit more popular but that will take some time. I will leave this post with an unusual picture of 16? year old Shawn Johnson.fail-owned-discretion-fail2

By |2016-10-28T15:47:55-04:00April 22nd, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

Ida Maria

Apparently this song has been out for almost a year now but they just started playing it on the radio as far as I know.  This is a song that is definitely a radio only song.  I saw the girl’s name was Ida Maria and while I’m listening to the song I’m visualizing this leggy Spanish hottie singing about being naked.  Then I find the music video, (the real one wouldn’t let me embed it) and the girl looks like a grown up version of the daughter from Californication.  Check out this video and then you can go to youtube and look at the real version.  If you haven’t heard of this song I figured it was worth a share because it is kindof catchy.  For what it’s worth I like Rise Against by Audience of One, Dirt Room by Blue October, and Wrong by Depeche Mode out right now.

By |2011-05-18T21:55:16-04:00April 22nd, 2009|Music|0 Comments

Gaslight Anthem

Here is a band, Gaslight Anthem, that I almost feel bad for leaking.  After listening to their last album, thanks to gusto, they are like a secret you want to keep to yourself because they are that good.  I can’t remember the last album I liked more than this one and it’s not even that new, I believe the album was released sometime in 2008.  With all the people who read this blog, I wouldn’t be surprised if this propelled them into stardom, just kidding.

By |2011-08-04T15:56:37-04:00April 20th, 2009|Music|0 Comments

New Look

So I’ve decided to ditch the blogspot format and move onto something else.  I bought my own domain name and decided to continue this “blog” with a better approach.  I’m pretty new to owning my own website and it’s going to take me a while to figure out all the tools and functions so it will start bare bones for a while.  This will give me some added flexibility with content and hopefully it will start to come up in google searches.  I’m not really sure what I’m trying to accomplish but if nothing else it’s good experience on having my own site.  I’ll write more once I figure out how to use this editor.

By |2016-10-28T15:48:05-04:00April 17th, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

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