About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Why No Update?

Most people like to use being too busy as a reason to not do things.  However, most people really have no idea what busy is.  A busy day for some people is going to the store, going to the gym, picking up some dry cleaning, and then cooking a meal.   The past example is busy work, not being busy.  I have actually been the opposite of busy, lazy.  I have had plenty of time to write about whatever I wanted but just didn’t.  I could have wrote that I was 89, 88, 90 at Turtle Creek, Limekiln, and Pincrest respectively.  Actually I had first hole issues on Turtle Creek and Pinecrest so that score could be off by a couple.  Or I bowled 200, 188, 184 in 3 consecutive games, making me think I know what I’m doing.  Or over the weekend I asked 2 girls what the chances of us having a 3some would be.  Turned out not very good, she either said 85% chance not happening or .5% chance of it happening.  I kind of zoned out while she was talking to catch her answer.  Kind of telling for what type of chances I had.  This was just the typical last couple days with nothing too exciting happening.  I didn’t make one sports bet and didn’t really play any cards either.  I’m just trying to make it through another work week which is becoming more and more challenging.  I have no understanding of how people can work day after day, year after year for 30+ years.  I’m spent after 4.  I 0pened up a google adwords account for our business website and maybe I’ll do it for this as my viewers have actually decreased recently.  Our bball team plays next week which will be a nice change of pace to the normal work week.  I’m purposely not using and paragraphs and continuing to change topics to make it annoying to read.  FI oYu Nca IurfeG UOt tHsi nTnCSEeE, eFeL PSiCAEl yuO UsJt dawTse ouRY MiTE.

By |2011-05-18T22:55:22-04:00May 27th, 2009|Sports|0 Comments

People I admire

This is a hard post to write because I have a much easier time making fun of people than writing good things.

Howard Stern – For being a nerd this guy is really talented.  To be able to go on the air and keep people entertained over the span of 25+ years is remarkable.  He gets the best guests and asks them the best questions.  He likes chess and is turning into a recluse but putting girls on the sybian and hearing Dennis Rodman talk about how he broke his dick for the 2nd time never gets old.  People probably think, “what kind of person still finds this stuff funny?”  I can honestly say that I fit right into the criteria of a Howard Stern listener.

Michael Phelps – This guy deserves a lot of credit.  Way more credit than practically anyone.  He is able to win 8 Gold medals, a feat that no one else was able to accomplish.  So he’s pretty much the best in the world at what he does, a complete statement of dominance.  Not only that but he likes to smoke the reefer.  And not only that he likes to bang strippers.  He had a 3 hour marathon session with 2 random strippers who although i’ve never seen were probably slammin.  So he’s a stoner who bangs strippers and is the absolute best in the world at his events.  He recently lost a couple of races because they were events that he doesn’t usually compete in but he was probably too tired from the whores to give it his best.  The guy seriously owns and it’s a shame he gets so much negative press.  When you say “no one’s perfect”, Michael Phelps takes this as a personal insult.  (I didn’t make that up)

Joe Rogan – I’ve read his blog a couple of time and it’s pretty funny.  Joe Rogan was the host of fear factor but now is the announcer for the UFC.  I really respect this guys knowledge of Ultimate Fighting.  He is a great announcer now because he has put in the work of learning the craft.  There”s not really anything else to write about except I think he does good work.

The Killers – They consistently come out with good music.  I wasn’t always  a huge Killers fan and I’m not really saying I am either but they just have hit after hit after hit.  They have had at least 3 singles come off of their latest album which play on the radio, all of which were decent songs.  I really have nothing to trash them on, Dustland Fairytale is a good song.  Smile like you mean it may be my favorite though.

I could probably come up with some others but I took off from work to go golfing and I’m pressed for time before we start off.  This post doesn’t live up to the hype, my bad.

By |2016-10-28T15:19:34-04:00May 22nd, 2009|Celeb|1 Comment

Activities

I haven’t really been running much since the broad street run due to just taking some time off.  However, this is the first week I’ve been getting back into exercising regularly with good workouts.  After playing 3v3 bball on Sunday my back was killing me for some unexplained reason.  I used this excuse for why I wasn’t able to bowl well but as it turned out it actually made me better as I sported a 174 avg for 4 games.  Plus the bowling shoes gave me a heel spur which was a nagging pain.

Nevertheless I went up to the track on Tuesday and did a workout.  I ran a 2:32 800 to start, then a 75 400, then a 68, then a 69.  Then I did 6 minutes of constant stairs and then ran another 3 400’s at about 70 pace.  Yesterday I did a long 12 mile run at about 7 minute pace which I thought was pretty good considering it was my first long run since broad street.  I’m not really training for anything other than to get into dynamite shape.  Phil’s 5k is in July and I’ll be ready to own some high school speds who have lofty aspirations of taking me down.  Last year I time trialed myself in a 4, 8 and the mile.  I think I was about 58 seconds in the 4, 2:13 in the 8, and 5:01 in the mile.  I think I can take a couple of seconds off of each one of those times because I started training earlier in the season.

I’ll play some golf this weekend and possibly a shore trip even though I’m not really down for gambling because I’ve been blowing through cash like a wild man.  I paid for a new car, new car insurance and I’ll have to pay for the damages to my old car.  When that much cash goes from the account it’s never a good feeling.  I haven’t made a sports bet since march madness so thats a plus.  I haven’t played pokerstars in a couple of weeks either but I’m making it a point to get back into it to generate some supplemental income hopefully.  Tomorrow I’ll put a link on facebook which triples my usual visits so I’ll have to come up with a good post.  Look forward to tomorrow.

By |2011-05-18T22:53:56-04:00May 21st, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

Tech Update

I recently got a blackberry storm that I got from Verizon for 150 bucks.  They even gave in to letting me out of my contract four months early (still had to renew though) and getting it for the sale price which was a moral victory.  First impression, too confusing.  I found the touch screen to be hard to use (you need ant fingers like Evan would say) and the calling feature annoying.  After a couple of days I’ve gotten used to typing and working the phone although I’m a far cry from efficient.  I still seem to misclick the screen which leads to time wasting.   I think these blackberries are for people who want to feel important.  I now can get my emails from my phone but honestly I’m not married to my email and I don’t feel the need to be answering emails the second they come in.  The internet seems unbelievably slow and a complete waste of time but could come in handy in a bind.  I don’t need all the bells and whistles but I do find the phone an upgrade once I get used to using it.  My guess is it is something that grows on you but now I can at least say I’m part of the cult that is the crackberry.  The video feature is cool and the camera is a nice addition.

Facebook has been around for quite a while now.  I think I opened an account about senior year of college and it’s evolving into its mature state.  I probably use it more than I should but I’m certainly not an addict to it.  I don’t have a camera so I don’t put up pictures and I really don’t like people taking pictures of me when I’m hammered, which are predominantly my pictures on facebook.  So there is really no point of me ever signing on facebook other than to view people I haven’t been in touch with in ages.  I try to never use the chat which bugs me out for some reason.  Anytime I do sign on, what tends to happen is I click on a picture of someone and the picture will be part of someone elses album.  Then I just start clicking the picture which makes me slideshow through some random person’s album and after about 10 clicks I’m viewing pictures of Jane Doe’s honeymoon saying wtf am I looking at.  I’m actually predicting the death of facebook shortly, I wouldn’t miss it.

Moving on to another thing I hope dies shortly.  Twittering.  I really hope this twitter mania stops abruptly.  Hopefully scientists discover that twittering leads to instant death.  There shouldn’t be this infatuation with other people’s lives.  Paris Hilton’s twitter is something like (I know because I heard it on Howard Stern) “Going to the Britney concert, shopping for handbags, going to sleep with my bf).  Honestly, WHO FUCKING CARES?  People are so bored with their own lives that they get excitement living vicariously through the dumbest fucking people.  If I had a twitter this is what I’d write, “Grabbing a beer, then taking a shit while I think about how many retarded people want to know what I’m doing.”  My life is just as boring as yours and I have no interest thinking about what someone else is doing so that I hope I could be doing it too.  If you want people to follow you around because it makes you feel special than I guess twittering is useful.  I suppose it’s because “tweets” are live and up to the minute so there is a usefulness to being up to date but in my opinion nothing is that important unless someone is tweeting that they are going to die.  Maybe i’m missing something.

By |2010-01-25T23:13:56-05:00May 20th, 2009|My Brain|0 Comments

Another Tricky Day

Sometimes something happens and you just throw it off to coincidence.  Like yeah that was unbelievable that events occurred as precisely as they did but sometimes there is just no explanation.  Today I woke up and I usually do the same thing every morning.  I get out of bed, throw on jeans and other essentials, and then go to the bathroom.  No matter what I always have to take a piss in the morning.  Today I also had to shit.  So being in the morning haze I start to shit and then realize there isn’t a full roll of toilet paper.  Fortunately I had a couple of extra 96% rolls complete lying around that I was too lazy to throw out.  So the saying pops in my head “another tricky day” and then I think of The Who song.  I wound up having enough tp and then I got in my car and started out the driveway.  Amazingly, literally not even before I was out of the driveway I put on channel 49 Classic Rewind and guess what song is playing?  Another Tricky Day.

The chance of me having to take a shit in the morning is like 5%.  The chance of me thinking about The Who song Another Tricky Day has to be a couple of times a year.  And then for it to actually play on the radio soon after I thought about it is just uncomprehendable (this is saying it’s not a word or not spelled right but I disagree).  People believe in god to make them fall in love or to save people’s lives.  I don’t really believe in god except for the fact that he’ll play random songs that I think about on the radio.  I cannot fathom any other explanation how that happened today.

And just an edit to my 10 hottest girl posts.  I would like to replace Carrie Underwood with Elisha Cuthbert.  I was watching 24 last night and she deserves a spot.   If they replaced Jack with Kim as the star I would have watched the full season.  I’m over Jack.  I’m bored of his constant grimaces like he has a nervous tick or something.  Everything is so dramatic with his speaking.  I was hoping Kim would have to whip out her boobs to save Jack’s life.  Seems plausible to me as everyman would want to wake up for that.

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By |2010-01-27T19:35:53-05:00May 19th, 2009|My Brain|0 Comments

Greetings & Expressions

I was considering not writing about this because it will create people saying “I read this in your blog and …”  First off I’m not good with formalities.  Everything is always awkward and I don’t put much importance in them.  I’ll break it down in various situations, what I think should happen, what other people think should happen, and then what really does happen.

Group of friends you see all the time – I see no need for handshakes.  Practically never.  These are supposedly your good friends.  There is no need to shake hands confirming your friendship every time you see each other.  High fives at athletic events or drinking games are acceptable but shouldn’t be overused.  I also think the pound is appropriate.  I’m actually a fan of the pound due to it’s simplicity.  Sometimes at formal events you can give a firm handshake, no shucking and jiving.  A dead fish is a good option from time to time to switch it up.

People you haven’t seen in a long time, like years, but you were friendly with them for a period of time.  Firm handshake is my only option.  I don’t like the 2 or 3 step handshakes, they just get confusing and I always fuck it up.  So even if the other person is going for an intricate handshake, I don’t give up my initial game plan.  I don’t do hugs with bros either but will maybe do a one hand shake and a pat on the back if I’m in the mood.

Girls you are meeting for the first time – This is easily the most awkward one for me.  If I don’t know the girl I don’t feel right going for the hug.  I don’t even know the person and I don’t hug just anyone.  I don’t like the hand shake because it’s a girl and I’m a guy and handshakes seems unusual.  However this is the approach I will use most often.  Another approach is the close range wave-hello.  This can be a good maneuver but will make you come off standoffish.  Sometimes I’ll use the just say hello and don’t go in for any greeting.  Help is appreciated.

Family – With female family I assume it’s the peck on the cheek.  I don’t know if you are really supposed to peck or just pretend to peck.  And then do you go for the hug after you do the peck.  If you go for the hug it’s like a 2 step operation that gets long and unusual.  Usually I’ll make the peck awkward as can be and then I’ll continue being strange by hugging for an extended time period.

This is the stuff that goes through my mind.  It’s not wow it’s great to see this person who I haven’t seen in such a long time.  It’s I hope I don’t get off to a rocky start by fing up the intro.

One more thing with intros.  You know you are in trouble when you move past the intro, you say hello, they say hello, you say how are you, they say good “how are you,” you say can’t complain and then…  If you can’t think of anything to say after that, chances are it’s going to be a long evening.  You can’t lead with something about yourself or else you come off as a selfish prick.  And if you don’t know anything about them you have to go really general like “how’s work” or my go to line “how’s life?”  The more alcohol you have the less any of this is an issue.

I’m really not this bad at this stuff but if I’m going to make a post about it I have to make a point.

By |2011-05-18T22:41:00-04:00May 18th, 2009|My Brain|2 Comments

Radio 104.5 Response

A couple of posts down you can find my first letter to Radio104.5 and a couple of days ago they responded with this.  I’d bet a million dollars it was  girl who responded to the email due to the lack of caps and multiple same letters in words.

hi tom! thanks for all the thoughts! we are glad you like weezer. it seems sooo many of our listeners do. i am a bit confused as to why you think ‘pork and beans’ is “ancient”…that was on their last album. you are right though, they have a huge library and we try to cover  what we can. just last week we played 11 different songs from them!
however you must know that radio stations cannot, by law, play everything that an artist releases. thats why they have “radio singles” if we were to play a song that wasnt released some artist will go so far as to issue a cease and desist letter stating that if we continue to play the song they will sue. that restricts us a lot to say the least.
we actually have spun the gaslight anthem a bit here and there but when we ask for thoughts/reactions we never get much of a positive response for them. eh, it doesnt mean we will give up on them yet!
oh, and finally the pause you heard during the cranberries was not meant to be comical. we DO NOT take liberties like that. we were have some technical difficulties that day. sorry!

I think it’s good to see them respond to my letter showing that they might actually take what their listeners think seriously.

By |2010-01-25T23:12:28-05:00May 18th, 2009|Music, My Brain|0 Comments

Maxim 100

This needs discussion.  I’m not impressed with Maxim’s 100.  Their #1 is just not #1.  This is Olivia Wilde from the OC and House.  I don’t watch either.  She is probably not the hottest girl in her home town, let alone the world.hotwilde10

Megan Fox is #2.  She told the world she is bi and is probably hotter because of it.  I’m usually not a huge fan of darker hair but her face really is beautiful.  She has this video done by Esquire of her waking up in the morning eating a sandwich and drinking a beer and it’s really hot.  I still don’t think she’s #1 but top 10 probably.megan-fox-hottest

I’m not going to dissect the list completely but I’ll write my top 10 and who I think they have too low and too high.

My top 10

10) Jennifer Love Hewitt – Not a flattering pic, how could this girl make it to my top 10?

1hotmaxim

I’ve just sort of always had a thing for her after watching HeartBreakers.  That’s a non porn movie with adequate spank material from JLH.  Even growing older she’s still hot.  Another great scene is I know what you did last summer (or I still know) and she’s in the rain look hawt.

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9) Marisa Miller – Not too much to say, just a hot chick with a nice rack.  I think I’m a sucker for this picture which makes me put her high.

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8) Megan Fox – See Above

7) Catalina Cruz – Only pornstar to make my list and probably can’t be taken seriously with her double D’s.  Nevertheless, I’m sure she’s probably made millions sucking.

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6) Carrie Underwood – Sort of wholesome girl with no defects.  I don’t even mind her music that much.  I think I liked Before He Cheats whenever that came out.   Good to see she didn’t blow up like Kelly Clarkson.

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5) Jessica Biel – Great shot in whatever the I now pronounce you chuck and larry.  Also great Bikini scene in Stealth.  I actually liked Lucy more in 7th Heaven, what ever happened to her?

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4) Christina Aguliera – This picture is just a knock out and why I have to put her high.  I believe she had a kid but wow her perfect blonde hair and nice figure make her high on the list.

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3) Julianne Hough – I’ve mentioned her before and she’s pretty much perfect.  Looks good in her juicy fruit commercial or whatever brand it is, I’m too focused on her to know what she’s selling.

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2)Emmanuelle Chriqui – Sloan is awesome.  Just gorgeous and flawless.  Seriously she just owns.

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1) Stacy Keibler – What can I say, she tops my list.  Her hair is perfect, her face is amazingly pretty and her body is fit as can be.  She doesn’t have a huge pair which you’d think would be essential to my list but in this case it doesn’t matter.  This girl has the girl next door look with long legs and great features, My #1.

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Overrated

Jessica Alba – I watched her lackluster appearance in Good Luck Chuck and this girl just plain sucks

Cameron Diaz – Just don’t see it, she’s fugly.

Rhianna – UMMM # 8 on Maxim list?  No.

By |2016-10-28T15:22:38-04:00May 15th, 2009|Boobs|0 Comments

Some Thoughts

I have a couple of things to point out that are somewhat amusing.

I purchased a new vehicle on Tuesday.  I got the 09 TL and struck a deal similar to my last deal.  My dealership stories weren’t that amusing but I decided to give the business to the salesman who gave me the fairest quote upfront.  I probably could have worked a better deal with some more patience but I think it was ok.  I also swapped my car insurance to Geico where I’m now paying 550 for a 6th month policy.  The wagon is in disbelief and can’t understand how a company would insure me.  However my driving record is flawless and I’ve been driving for 9 years without incident.

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I go to the post office on 7th and spring garden.  This isn’t the best area of town and I sort of stick out like a sore thumb but it’s easier to delivery priority mail there instead of on Market where it’s hectic.  So there’s only one worker and a line of about 5 when I get there.  Stamps went up to 44 cents on Monday so there is a whole lot of commotion amongst the people.  To make things better the post office isn’t selling 1 and 2 cent stamps.  Then one guy out of nowhere says “do they tell the public this stuff? (meaning the rate changes)  I just looked at him and said I guess not.  It’s amazing how some information is easy to find with an internet connection but this part of Philly isn’t so lucky.

By |2011-05-18T22:39:23-04:00May 14th, 2009|My Brain|1 Comment

Dear Radio104.5

I wrote this email to them and I’ll keep the correspondence updated.

Dear Radio104.5,

I think that your station plays the best music in the Philadelphia area however I have a few complaints / suggestions.  First off, anytime you are considering playing Pork and Beans, Buddy Holly or Beverly Hills by Weezer, please don’t.  These songs are ancient and there are plenty of other good Weezer song’s that you guys hardly ever play including Surf Wax America, My name is Jonas, Say it ain’t so, Island in the Sun, and Hash Pipe.  Other songs to never play is Viva La Vida, Paralyzer (still, I mean cmon), Gives you Hell, or the Pretender.  When you get the urge to play one of these songs play something by the Gaslight Anthem.  Channel 47 on XM has already started to play Old White Lincoln and you guys are completely missing the boat, although you did play a new Modest Mouse song today which was a wise move.  Here is a good song to play (2:08 to 2:30 is awesome) (I’ll embed it below).  Listen to me, ( I’m writing this like John Travolta says “look at me” in Get shorty) this band will make your listeners keep coming back to your station.  Also, I don’t know who the comedian is at your station but I was listening today and you were playing Zombie by The Cranberries.  At the one point in the song where it goes “your violence causes silence…”, someone turned the sound off when they were about to sing word silence.  I mean it’s really hysterical but probably unnecessary.   I really think your station is the best around, especially the one minute commercials, so keep up the good work and listen to my good advice.

By |2010-01-25T23:00:59-05:00May 14th, 2009|Music|0 Comments
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