22 Jul, 2015

Worse Than Waterboarding

By |2015-07-22T10:28:23-04:00July 22nd, 2015|My Life|4 Comments

I live on a block of row houses. I found this invitation slid under my door yesterday.

Invitation

Prying replies to the questions from an uncooperative Viet Cong suspect, First Air Cavalrymen and a Vietnamese interpreter attached to the American unit lay a towel over the suspect’s face and then pour water on it.

My street probably has about 20 houses lined up and down. I expect this was slid under every door as a way to “get to know” the neighborhood. I saw the home owner securing his postal numbers to his house and as I walked by he was introducing himself to his next door neighbor and shouting to his wife to “come meet the neighbor.”

I’m well aware this is done with the best intentions but there is exactly a 0% chance that I attend this for the following reasons:

What I'll end up doing on Friday night.

What I’ll end up doing on Friday night.

1. This isn’t a fun person’s block. These are people who have lived there for 20 years who I have exactly 0 in common with.
2. Sitting in a room with 15 people from my neighborhood couldn’t be more awkward. “So, how do you like your house.” “So, where do you work.” “So, uhhhhhhhh.” Snooze city.
3. This invitation gives no indication of a fun time.  If they added, “there will be a keg”, now you have my attention.  The invitation gives the impression that it’s going to suck.

Am I off base here?  Would you go to this?

21 Jul, 2015

People Enjoying Summer…

By |2015-07-21T17:21:17-04:00July 21st, 2015|My Life|2 Comments

Exotic-Beach-Location90% of my 478 friends are millionaires who spend the summer in exotic locations.  At least that’s what my Facebook feed would expect me to believe.  My blood boils as I see all these people having fun and I spend day after day in the heat slaving away.  As a self proprietor, when you don’t work, your business stops working and that’s unacceptable.  This essentially leads to zero vacation days and when you actually do take off, a feeling of guilt overtakes your body that you can’t even enjoy the time off because the work just builds.  I’m exaggerating but not really.

Aside from my complaining, there’s actually ton of neat stuff going on that is worth mentioning but not worthy of an entire blog post.

  • The 2nd Season of True Detective is mind blowingly slow and is only now starting to heat up with Colin Farrell about ready to lay into Vince Vaughn.
  • Ray Donovan is still entertaining mainly because of Jon Voight.  Connor banging the mattress is (lack of descriptive term).
  • donald-trump-hair-photos-mystery-transplant-combover_2014-09-14_21-59-27-573x430Donald Trump insulting John McCain and winning because of it.  This guy can do no wrong even when he tries.
  • Still sad Louie lost.  This was a crippling blow to my morale.
  • Researching fantasy football already.  I’m back to passing on ODB.
  • This guy hating fat people.

 

Rant. Enough with these bullshit excuses as to why you’re over…Rant. Enough with these bullshit excuses as to why you’re overweight. Check this out ➡️ http://goo.gl/UY0PI5If you get angry over this video but it helps save your life, then I don’t give a fuck about your feelings.

Posted by Bryan Silva on Thursday, July 16, 2015

20 Jul, 2015

Louie Left Me Heartbroken

By |2015-07-20T16:24:01-04:00July 20th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

This is what it should have looked like in 2015

This is what it should have looked like in 2015

I’m not an emotional person but this is the most depressed after a sporting event that I’ve ever been. I invested 5 days watching the Open and left with the saddest taste in my mouth when Louie lost to Zack Johnson in a 4 hole playoff. Not only did I have money riding on Louie, but a 1st place by him would have (most likely) cashed my DraftKings squad instead of getting 43,000 place. I can’t even express how much it sucks when you ride a golfer as hard as I ride Louie and have him break your heart. Same result at the Open too when he was on fire and lost by a stroke.

His rapport with Dunne shows how great of a guy he is.  Plus his play was outstanding.  Huge save on 16.  Clutch hole on 17.  Birdied 18 to get to the playoff.  Then on the 3rd hole he missed a 6 footer and that was that.  He had a chance on 18 but 17 was where he lost.  This guy is my boy.  Let’s remember better times.

19 Jul, 2015

Taking the Night Off

By |2015-07-19T07:51:29-04:00July 19th, 2015|My Life|0 Comments

DSC03827

Dock Side Pizza

It’s not often, although becoming more so, that I don’t go out on a Saturday night.  However, yesterday was my mom’s birthday and we went out for a lunch at the Dock Side Brewing Company in West Philly.  We had a few beers at lunch and then I watched the USA – Cuba Concacaf match with Brookes and Laura.  I probably had about 8 beers on the day and wasn’t drunk as much as I was tired.  I went home, had a sleep (FoTC), and when I woke up it was 8:30.  I could have had a few more beers with friends but just decided to call it a night.

I woke up today at 7am Sunday and started watching the Open and realized that I have the entire day ahead of me.  Normally I go to sleep at 2am and don’t wake until 12pm.  Today it’s like I have 5 hours that I much prefer over the 10pm – 2 am hours.  These are what I’d like to call productivity hours.

When’s the last time I wrote a Sunday blog post at 7:47 am?  It just doesn’t happen.  Plus I’m feeling good and will go for a run, play some golf, go swimming, and watch some golf all in a day’s work.  Combine that with the idea that I’ll feel like a normal person on a Monday and it all comes together.

17 Jul, 2015

Slow Work Day

By |2015-07-17T14:35:15-04:00July 17th, 2015|Photoshop|1 Comment

Everyone is on vacation so why aren’t you?  I’ve been fiddling around in Photoshop and this is what I’ve come up with today.

 

stortzslatelogo plane

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

17 Jul, 2015

TLDR

By |2015-08-06T09:34:12-04:00July 17th, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments

Getting attention is at a premium.  In the first hour of my day I noticed multiple times when I was turned off because information was too long.  Here is the process in a means of medium you will understand.

workflow

 

I need my information like this:

  • Shorts bursts
  • Less than 1 minute YouTube videos
  • Creative infographics
  • Small words
  • Big ideas

It’s really quite simple.  I should also note that my project there took a while and went in a direction that I had no idea it was going to go when I started.  Using Jess Greenberg was a spur of the moment decision because she popped up in Images and I just ran with it.  It makes absolutely no sense to any point I was trying to get across.  I hope you liked it.

16 Jul, 2015

What Are You a Definite 10 At?

By |2015-07-16T09:31:17-04:00July 16th, 2015|My Brain|4 Comments

Until more people start reading Reddit, I’ll continue to post the best threads. The question posed was:
On the scale of 1 to 10, what are you a definite 10 at?

The best responses (aside from Ping Pong):

Jerry's a phony.

Jerry’s a phony.

-Acting interested in what people are saying when in reality I have no clue what they’re talking about because I have been thinking about something else for the last 10 minutes

-Overestimating my own abilities.
I’m like a 12/10 at that.

-Making myself cum

Egyptian-Rat-Screw

Egyptian-Rat-Screw

-The game ERS. (Egyptian Rat Slap) In the 6 years i’ve been playing fairly regularly I’ve lost less than a dozen times.

-Guitar Hero, rhythm games in general.
Some people spend their youth learning a real instrument, or honing a useful skill. I chose to become a beast with plastic instruments.

forgotten-name-Remembering peoples’ names! I’m scary good at it. It’s not an incredibly useful talent, but my friends & family can use me as a reference when they forgot who John Lithgow is or whatever.
I’m also really good at giving blowjobs. Two very different skills.

-Mediocrity. Perfect, run-of-the-mill, 100% generic, average, nothing special. If someone wrote my biography it would be called “one shade of grey.” I put the fun in fundamental basics, but damned if I’m not the best at it.

-I’m a definite 10 at not being able to rate myself accurately on these scales.

geeksmirage_bingewatching1-Binge watching Netflix. I do that better than any other person I know.

-Having gay men check me out even when I’m completely straight.

 

15 Jul, 2015

Depositing Into Draft Kings

By |2015-07-15T10:04:08-04:00July 15th, 2015|Sports|1 Comment

fanduel-draftkings-650x400Yesterday I took the plunge and put $100 into DraftKings to receive a $100 bonus.  Normally I’d take more advantage of a bonus but I’m trying to do a better job at losing my money at a slower bleed rate.

I’ve been playing Fanduel for a few years and this is the first year I’ll give DraftKings a shot.  I look at it as having accounts on Stars, Party, and Full Tilt.  If you’ve never heard of these companies, you don’t play fantasy sports.  Consumers have gravitated towards daily tournaments over season long leagues (which millions still do) because of the following reasons:

  • Action – games begin and end on a daily basis.  Players crave action.
  • More donks, less sharks – This is turning as more professionals are trying to make a living at daily leagues.  However, early on in these leagues, fish are everywhere ready to burn their bank account.
  • It’s addictive and feels like the lottery.  One lucky break in a big tournament and you can cash for tens or hundreds of thousands, even a million bucks.

 

The Daily Fantasy Sports Landscape

wsj-yahoo-dfsYahoo has entered the daily games which is a major step towards revenue.  A few years ago they got into allowing customers to play season long money leagues, now they are ready to allow daily leagues.  This is a smart decision but a bit too late as they are already trailing the leaders, Fanduel and Draft Kings.

Fanduel raised $275 million recently and has a post money valuation of $1.275 billion.  They had $57 million in revenue in 2014 with 1.1 million paid, active users.

Draftkings raised $126 million and is valued at more than $1 billion.  They had $30 million in revenue and 414,000 active users.  A huge benefit is that they struck a deal with ESPN that allows it to advertise exclusively through 2016.

 

Why I Deposited in Draft Kings

The British Open is this week and I want some action.  I’ve been following the golf closer this year than I have in the past and my theory is that hot golfers are the place to put your money.  Here is the team I assembled with the idea of swapping Louie into the mix.

Draft Kings Open 7.16.15

Jordan SpiethI read an article in the Journal today about Jordan Spieth and how good of a putter he is.  Here are the stats:

  • On average this year, when Spieth misses his first putt, the ball comes to rest just 23 inches from the hole.
  • He has 3 putted only 1.82% of holes played this year.
  • Relative to this competitors, his putting insides 20 feet is pedestrian, but from anywhere beyond that, he puts the ball in the hole nearly 14% of the time.
  • McCormick, who works with elite golfers at various levels, has given Spieth tests that can quantify a player’s green reading aptitude and said Spieth scores in “the 99.9th percentile.”
  • A tidbit at the US open that Spieth won on a Dustin Johnson miss.  They both had a putt of similar lengths for eagle, DJ missed his by 4 feet, Spieth 7 inches.  How to be a champ.

To go along with Spieth I added:

dannyleeDanny Lee – Won the White Brier and was 1 back of Speith in the John Deere.  From New Zealand and a flier.

Lee Westwood – Shee says he’s the best golfer never to win a major.  Most likely will be swapped out.

Kevin Na – Not great win stats recently but making 16 of 19 cuts is admirable.

Rickie Fowler – Won the Scottish Open and has sick results in majors.

Kevin Kisner – 4 top 10 finishes in his last 7 tournaments.  Value city.

14 Jul, 2015

Hottest Songs of Right Now – 7/14/15

By |2015-07-14T23:07:05-04:00July 14th, 2015|Music|1 Comment

You can actually follow my Spotify Playlist here.  I know you won’t but I promise I deliver songs before they become hits.

I’m more up to date than the radio.  That’s not true.  I’m actually good at hearing a song when it first comes out on the radio and then gauging its popularity.

1.  Cold Cold Man by Saint Motel – In all fairness, this song was out almost a year ago but with the rousing success of My Type, people started listening to their other songs.  Lucky us.  Plus I got favorited by the band themselves.

2. Unsteady by X-Ambassadors – Slow and gripping. The other song off VHS is Fear with Imagine Dragons, but this one is better.

3. Search Party by Sam Bruno – I’ve never heard of the movie Paper Towns but I know when you get Vance Joy (Great Summer…if you haven’t heard it yet, you will), Vampire Weekend, and Grouplove on a soundtrack, you should listen to it. This song (along with Radio by Santigold) caught my ear.

There you go Gourlay.  That’s how you do a Tune Time Tuesday and don’t have Deer Tick for 3 months.

14 Jul, 2015

Use Uber, Make Money Shorting TAXI!

By |2015-07-14T14:34:38-04:00July 14th, 2015|My Brain|1 Comment

uber-logoYou’ve heard of Uber?  I thought so.  UBER is a $40 billion dollar company that takes you from point A to point B with the slick use of an app.  Its service is available in 57 countries and its leaders are looking for more ways to expand by delivering goods and not just rides.  Estimates are saying revenue could be $2 billion this year but the company is private so the numbers aren’t disclosed.  How will Uber change your life?

If you live in a city, chances are you use a cab more often than a suburbanite.  Now that I’ve been here for over 2 years, I can offer an opinion on the difference between an Uber and a cab from a real life situation.  The below screenshot is what the Uber app looks like.  The black cars are the drivers around you and they move in real time.  You plug in your destination, your GPS picks up your location, you click set pick up and a Uber driver will arrive where you tell them to.  It’s that simple.

What the actual Uber App looks like getting a ride from Old City.

What the actual Uber App looks like getting a ride from Old City.

Pro / Con Breakdown

Cab

Distance – 4+ miles
Cost – $~15 including tip
Driver – Cab drivers come from all walks of life from various countries. I’ve talked to guys from Ethiopia, Bangladesh, Iraq, and Somalia. I’ve never had a problem with a cab driver before. Some are friendly, others aren’t. No complaints on people though.
Car – Taxi’s are average sedans. Most drivers keep their vehicle only as clean as necessary. Smells are possible and it feels the driver lives out of his front seat.
Wait – In Northern Liberties you’d have to wait 3-5 minutes. Cabs in Center City are non-stop. Wait could be less than 30 seconds.

 

Uber

Distance – 4.25 miles
Cost – $8.95

uberride
Driver – I’ve actually asked drivers if Uber is safer for them and 9 out of 10 say, “Yes.”  Passengers who have smart phones, an Uber app, and a line of credit are screened higher than randoms off the street.  Most drivers seem to be Philly locals who are looking for extra money on the side.
Car – Appearance and cleanliness are always tight as the driver is trying to get you to give them a high rating by flashing you a nice vehicle. The rating system is a huge bonus to Uber because elicits high quality.
Wait – Uber wait times in Center City are around 3-5 minutes. You ping the app, a driver responds, and then you wait for them to arrive. They are usually around the corner, not outside your door. I’d say this is usually longer than a cab but you can check up on the driver for safety concerns while you wait.

 

The Threat to TAXI

This post is going to deliver a point that you may or may not agree with.  If you know anything about the taxi business, you know that drivers need medallion’s to operate.  Medallions are expensive and are financed by a bank who then sells/leases them to drivers.  Medallions have absurd valuations in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Would you want to be a part of a company who owns an asset such as taxi medallions knowing that Uber is out there?

Here is the TAXI stock in the last 5 years.

taxistock

There’s no reason to think this stock won’t fall off a cliff with Uber continuing to bring down the price of a taxi medallion. My play is to bring a long term option into play. A February Put with a 7.50 stock price costs .65 cents ($8.15 cost value). You have to buy at least 1 contract, which is 100 shares. This means it costs you $65 dollars to buy 1 contract. To give a real life idea of what I’d be comfortable risking, I’d buy 10 contracts for $650 dollars. Now what has to happen for me to make money.

make-money-now1) If the stock price does not go below $7.50 by February, I lose $650. Worst case scenario.
2) If at any time the stock drops between now and February, the option price should go up, and I can sell. Hypothetical, if the stock drops to $8.50, the price of the option may rise from .65 to $1.00 (this is determined by the delta). This means I can sell my 10 contracts for 1,000 bucks. Fine scenario.
3) I’m hoping the stock tanks. If the stock drops below $7.50 with months to spare, the contracts could start being worth dollars when considering the time value of the option. Let’s just say it drops to $5.00. My contract is worth at the minimum $2.50. Depending on how much time is left, it could be worth upwards of 5.00. If I were more savvy, I could expand on the actual value of these if this were to happen. Unfortunately, I’m a peasant.

So that’s what 4 years of Pitt business school along with a need for action gets you in a post created by me. I’d be ecstatic if anyone who knows more about me and the pricing of options could correct my mistakes. Bottom line, TAXI is not where you want to be.

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