We Don't Walk Slow

Chuck Klosterman’s 23 Questions – #8

8. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson’s gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film’s “deeper philosophy.”

Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

I’m not sure how important it is that the movie is Dark Crystal because I haven’t seen it. I used Wikipedia and get an idea but it seems to be a darker version of Labyrinth created by Jim Henson of the muppets. It looks absurd and the puppets seem laughable, Neverending Story type characters. Instead of Dark Crystal I’m just going to substitute “a movie that probably isn’t very good but has a cult following and appeals to some but not all.”

This would 100% get on my nerves. I’ve already wrote in a previous post that I think finding a perfect person isn’t really impossible and there are many fish in the sea. Now, someone constantly relating to a movie that I considered good is one thing, but I have a feeling that a Dark Crystal type movie isn’t going to be up my alley and this one little quirk would make me eventually hate the person. I sort of feel like I could make an analogy to me constantly quoting Step Brothers for a phase of my life. I would think a person would get annoyed with me and just eventually deliver an ultimatum. It bothers me when CK4 keeps saying “to be candid.” You don’t have to preface your sentences by telling me you are going to be honest because what about all the sentences when you don’t say that. It’s just something that your brain is triggering because you can’t think of something better to say. So if that one tiny point gets on my nerves, I can only imagine how tired I would get about someone referring to the Dark Crystal. I feel like I should probably watch this movie before I really can make a good answer to this.

On the flip side, I would like to think that I can overlook a person’s “flaw” if everything else about them is perfect. To be candid, I could probably do this without much problem. If they were going to be attractive, smart, funny, not a bitch, and we got along fine, I really think I could get past this tiny obsession with a movie. I would think in the back of my head “how on Earth is everything able to relate to this movie,” but a deal breaker, all things considered, probably not.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:28:46-04:00May 23rd, 2011|Books|2 Comments

Gusto’s Top 25 Musicians – 15-11

15. Eagles

The Eagles are an American rock band formed in Los Angeles, California in 1971 by Glenn Frey, Don Henley, Bernie Leadon and Randy Meisner. On their 4th album Joe Walsh, replaced Leadon which would be the ensemble I would most relate to (Timothy B. Schmitt is currently the 4th). They have sold over 120 million albums worldwide and 100 million in the U.S. alone. They are the fifth highest selling music act in U.S. history and the highest selling American band in U.S. history. No other American band sold more than the Eagles during the 1970s. A few of their most famous songs that I think are noteworthy – Desperado, Take is Easy, Hotel California, Take it to the Limit, Witchy Woman, Peaceful Easy Feeling, New Kid in Town, Life in the Fast Lane, and Lyin’ Eyes. I think it’s awesome too that Glenn Frey (Smuggler’s Blues, The Heat is On, and You Belong to the City), Don Henley (End of Innocence, Dirty Laundry, Boys of Summer), and Joe Walsh (Life’s Been Good, Life of Illusion) all had success as solo artists. I find some of their songs a bit too lovey dovey but they have a crisp sound and are obviously extremely talented. I honestly haven’t listened to them enough to give them my best opinion.

14. James Taylor

I’m a little annoyed that I can’t find his total career album sales but his greatest hits sold 12 million US copies. His soothing voice, deep and insightful lyrics, and easy to listen to soft rock make for a combination that lands him at #14. I don’t really have a problem going to sleep listening to music and many times I’ve put on James Taylor and let it roll through the play list. Sweet Baby James was his first album of commercial success and Fire and Rain was the hit off the album. Other of his better songs are Carolina in my Mind, Sweet Baby James, Mexico, Your Smiling Face, Handy Man and You’ve got a Friend. I actually think JT might be a bit high on this list but I do like the music so you won’t see much of a complaint from me.

13.Pearl Jam

Pearl Jam is an American rock band that formed in Seattle, Washington, in 1990. Since its inception, the band’s line-up has included Eddie Vedder (lead vocals, guitar), Jeff Ament (bass guitar), Stone Gossard (rhythm guitar), and Mike McCready (lead guitar). The band has sold an estimated 60 million albums worldwide. I think it’s hard to place a band like Pearl Jam on this list. There is no doubt that the music is great sounding and their songs are great to rock out to but I feel like they just sort of get grouped in here somewhere among the top 25. They have plenty of hit songs but when you compare any of their songs to a song like Fire and Rain, it’s just two different worlds. Yellow Ledbetter, Last Kiss, Alive, Black, Jeremy, Daughter, Better Man, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, and Even Flow have all hit the charts. Their music touches dark subjects like depression, suicide, loneliness, and murder and they have been called the most influential 90’s band. I certainly think Pearl Jam is an awesome band but I think they would be closer to the 25 part of this list.

12.The Beach Boys

The Beach Boys are an American rock band, formed in 1961 in Hawthorne, California. The group was initially composed of brothers Brian, Dennis and Carl Wilson, their cousin Mike Love, and friend Al Jardine. Rolling Stone has them listed at #12 on their list and the album Pet Sounds as the #2 album of all time. I’m sure those who read this far probably had no idea. I don’t really find their music that incredible. I know the songs Good Vibrations, Wouldn’t it be Nice, Kokomo, Surfin USA, Help Me, Rhonda, California Girls, and I Get Around. I think these are all good songs but if these are their best, I just don’t know how they earn this spot. I think their ranking has more to do with what their unique sound during their time. When Paul McCartney says Pet Sounds was inspirational to Sgt Pepper, I probably am missing something.

11.Michael Jackson

Critics always say that the 80’s wasn’t music’s finest decade but Michael Jackson was the 80’s. He brought a different sound that was specific to the 80’s and I think it sounded pretty damn good. His high pitched squeals and amazing dance moves made him unique, the songs all sound great with his awesome singing voice, and the lyrics are really pretty decent. He has sold an estimated 750 million copies worldwide to date. Songs like The Way You Make Me Feel, Man in the Mirror, Thriller, Billie Jean, You Are Not Alone, Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough, Wanna Be Startin Something, Beat It, Human Nature, Smooth Criminal, Rock With You, PYT, Baby Be Mine, Bad, and of course Will You Be There were all chart toppers. I actually think Jackson is getting slighted a bit at #11.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-24T16:30:18-04:00May 23rd, 2011|Top 25 Best Bands|1 Comment

Jamaal Charles Loves the End Zone

JKash noted that people love him as much as Jamaal loves the end zone. If you love Jamaal as much as I do, you’d know that Jamaal can break 70 yard runs on a week by week basis but for some reason he loses sight of that rectangular, 10 yard area. He found the end zone 8 times last year (including receiving td’s) which puts him right around 15th in scores by running backs. However, in terms of rushing yards (#2 behind Foster) and receiving yards by rb’s (#9), Jamaal should undoubtedly be a top 5 RB pick next year. What’s the problem, he doesn’t love the end zone as much as we thought. Correlation, people must not love JKash as much as he thinks and that’s coming straight from his own words. Now, JKash and I have had talks about how much some people love the end zone and I’m going to guess it’s not Jamaal’s fault he isn’t finding the holy land. It’s that goddamn bastard Thomas Jones stealing the goal line carries. When we see Thomas Jones has 6 rushing TD’s, all of which should be Jamaal’s, that lifts him up to the upper echelon of RB’s. JKash you should feel privileged to be mentioned as many times as you are in the same post as Jamaal. With the amount of times people are googling “JKash”, combined with people’s love of Jamaal, it’s hard for me to believe this isn’t going to be the greatest post of all time. If Jamaal ever comes to Philly, I think we have to meet him.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-24T16:32:04-04:00May 23rd, 2011|Sports|3 Comments

Chuck Klosterman’s 23 Questions – #7

7. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

I don’t just answer these questions like a tard and say the Loch Ness Monster because it would be the hardest to catch or the Sasquatch because of it’s rarity. I try to think why is Klosterman asking the question. I wonder if the order of events have anything to do with the question. Meaning, that since the first two happened earlier in the day, I wonder if there would be any work already done making it difficult to switch the first page story which would be a hassle. Assuming it doesn’t matter, I think the question tries to gauge how much importance you put on political matters. The President having cancer seems like a front page story in my mind and I really don’t care that much about politics. You’d think the health of the most powerful country’s, most powerful person would be a bigger story then a Sasquatch being captured. The legacy of both beasts though is pretty substantial but not getting on my front page if the President has cancer.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:28:39-04:00May 22nd, 2011|Books|1 Comment

Gusto’s Top 25 Bands – 20-16

At Marks’ request. I also saw Gusto over the weekend and he said you couldn’t hold it against Jim Croce that he died early is the reason he should be so high. I find these next 5 to be his most questionable for what it’s worth because I would put Pink Floyd ahead of them all.

20. Radiohead

Radiohead are an English alternative rock band from Abingdon, Oxfordshire, formed in 1985. The band consists of Thom Yorke (vocals, guitars, piano), Jonny Greenwood (guitars, keyboards, other instruments), Ed O’Brien (guitars, backing vocals), Colin Greenwood (bass, synthesizers) and Phil Selway (drums, percussion). I’m not a huge Radiohead fan but I do find some of there songs to be pretty good. Fake Plastic Trees, Karma Police, Paranoid Android, Creep, High and Dry and their new one Lotus Flower are all wonderful songs. I also really like House of Cards and Optimistic. I’m sure people who really like Radiohead could point out some of their better, more obscure songs. They have released 6 albums and have sold 25 million copies. OK Computer is probably their “best” album critically. Pink Floyd has sold over 200 million copies to give you an idea of why on Earth Radiohead should get a spot above Pink.

19. Garth Brooks

This isn’t going to be my easiest artist to give insight on. It’s actually going to be the 2nd hardest with the next one being the most difficult. Brooks is one of the most famous country stars with mainstream success. I’ve now listened to exactly 3 of his songs as the playlist continues to play. Gusto gives ratings so I will generally start by listening to an artists most popular songs. The Dance is considered his best song. The music just isn’t for me to be perfectly honest. He’s sold 128 million albums so obviously people don’t exactly agree with me. I can’t even give any songs by him that I like. Sorry for the weak entry Mr. Brooks but it’s the best I can do not finding your music to suit my individuality.

18. Sam Cooke

Samuel Cook (January 22, 1931 – December 11, 1964), known professionally as Sam Cooke, was an African-American gospel, R&B, soul, and pop singer, songwriter, and entrepreneur. He is considered to be one of the pioneers and founders of soul music. Dying at 33 is probably why many people have never heard of him. Gusto likes musicians that have great singing voices and I can’t disagree that Sam Cooke is a great singer. Problem is I don’t find any reason why I should really like the music. He’s a singer, not a musician which is why I wouldn’t rank him this high. I am more inclined to like a song if it’s musically satisfying opposed to a singer singing great lyrics. Shallow perhaps but that is my personal opinion. Cooke had 29 top-40 hits in the U.S. between 1957 and 1964. Major hits like “You Send Me”, “A Change Is Gonna Come”, “Chain Gang”, “Wonderful World”, and “Bring It on Home to Me” are some of his most popular songs.

17. Alice in Chains

With a recent post about how I’m not a huge Alice in Chains fan you can assume I’m going to have a tough time justifying them ahead of Pink Floyd. Alice in Chains is an American rock band formed in Seattle, Washington, in 1987 by Jerry Cantrell and original lead vocalist Layne Staley. As I type I have the 5 starred “Don’t Follow” on right now. Alice in Chains can produce some music that I can like. I like the flow of this song and it reminds me of Patience by Guns and Roses which I think is a really good song. The band was one of the most successful music acts of the 1990s, selling over 25 million albums worldwide, and over 12 million in the US alone. The band achieved two number-one Billboard 200 albums (Jar of Flies and Alice in Chains), 14 top ten songs on the Mainstream Rock Tracks chart, and eight Grammy Award nominations. I would say that’s a pretty successful track record. Yet again only 25 million album sales to be at #17 I have to question having them this high. I know that record sales shouldn’t correlate to great music because Britney would beat most of these on here. Some of Alice in Chains more popular songs are Rooster, Down in a Hole, Man in the Box, Them Bones, and Nutshell. They would not make my top 25.

16. U2

I always thought U2 was a joke and had no good music in my younger days. As I’ve gotten older I no longer believe that. After listening to the Joshua Tree straight through, I know I wasn’t right. U2 are an Irish rock band from Dublin. Formed in 1976, the group consists of Bono (vocals and guitar), The Edge (guitar, keyboards and vocals), Adam Clayton (bass guitar), and Larry Mullen, Jr. (drums and percussion). U2 deserves a spot as a top 25 band. They have sold 125 million albums worldwide and are constantly won one of the highest grossing tours around. Gusto likes to say the lead in to Where the Streets have No name is the best #1 track of any album and it is really hard to disagree. Just listen to the build up and tell me the song isn’t phenomenal. With songs like One, With or Without you, Beautiful Day, Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get Out Of, Pride, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Mysterious Ways, it’s hard to argue their success. Rolling Stone has Joshua Tree listed at 26 of the best 500 albums of all time. I just had the aforementioned “Where the Streets Have No Name” track blasting to get the inspiration to write this. It’s best to listen to it loud because if you don’t, what’s the point? I’m now going to listen to Achtung Baby and see if I can get a better U2 experience because I’ve really only listened to The Joshua Tree and their more popular songs. I think U2 is appropriately placed at 16 because of their hits and the unbelievable tour revenue which should confirm there are other people who love U2.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-22T19:20:30-04:00May 22nd, 2011|Music, Top 25 Best Bands|1 Comment

Moral Victory

I know it doesn’t matter to most of you but it makes me happy that I could achieve 15 comments on a post. It just confirms that people do read this and have the ability to comment if I force them too. Hopefully with all that commenting out of the way, people don’t have to be scared to do so. My personal favorite was Laura’s though because I feel like she comments more then anyone and therefore has me blast her comments the most. Andrew Gourlay popping out of no where also made my day. I took the word blast from JKash but I think it’s hilarious. Putting things on blast is one of my new favorite things. I didn’t really have a good story about a 22 year old either. Basically she just came up to me, asked me how old I was, Ck4 said I was 23 and I said I was 27, we actually did hit it off for about 10 minutes and then I started twirling her on the dance floor and that was it. If I really wanted to bang her I probably could have been more aggressive and made it happen. She ended up talking to some bro about 2 minutes after I left her.

Some other parts of my weekend included a 20-0 romping in softball which just wasn’t even fun. I got swept by Gusto in 4 games of beer pong. We did Mad River on Friday and Brew Pub last night. We had a guest appearance by Casey which was fun on Saturday. I thought the brew pub was decent for what it’s worth. I haven’t really done much today and passed on golf like I said I was going to in the last post I wrote about golf. I haven’t been able to run in a few days either because since I broke my ankle and was forced into running a little differently and that screwed up this one part of my foot which is preventing me from running right. I had to give it a few days to heal. Late last night I ate this bacon, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich and the cook made it terribly. The egg wasn’t cooked and the bacon was flimsy. The biscuit was alright though.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-22T18:23:05-04:00May 22nd, 2011|My Life|0 Comments

Protest Post

2 people are in my good graces. I asked for feedback and got 2 responses. 1 being the Shee’s smart ass reply which I honestly do appreciate, and one being Sam’s friend Mark who I barely know but will forever stick out to me as someone I like. The rest of you can go pound sand. If I wanted to keep a journal, I could do so without publicly displaying it. If you want to read my material and use me like a whore, that’s perfectly fine but I’m taking a stand. I want 15 comments on this post. I want initials to confirm you read my blog and choose not to participate. Until I get 15 comments, I’m not posting again. I have a story about some 22 year old I met last night that will go untold…

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:43:28-04:00May 20th, 2011|My Brain|18 Comments

Steven Hawking Vs Kirk Cameron

This is the battle between two extremes, science vs religion, proclaimed genius vs born again childhood TV star, blah blah vs blah blah. I want to comment on some of their quotes and then I’ll give my opinion on the subject.

He (Hawking) told the UK newspaper The Guardian last week, when asked to share his thoughts about death: “I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.”
This makes sense to me and I view death exactly as Hawking describes. Basically you die and you are buried and that is all she wrote.

Cameron, who is a born again christian and religious to the extreme was quoted saying “To say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man,” Cameron, 40, said in a message posted on his Facebook page. “He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas.”
You are attacking his credibility by insulting his appearance, childish and completely out of line and it makes him look foolish in my opinion.

“To speak on issues of science and violate it’s essential laws is like playing checkers with a someone who changes the rules when he’s losing,” Cameron added. “Why should anyone believe Mr. Hawking’s writings if he cannot provide evidence for his unscientific belief that out of nothing, everything came?”
I completely agree with Cameron here that everything can’t come from nothing. Problem is I also don’t think a supreme being was here before everything and decided to create the universe. My mind tends to lean more towards science here but to think that Cameron’s belief of a supreme being is any more believable then the science approach isn’t being realistic.

The bottom line is that no one knows for sure and it’s easier to say “you can believe whatever you want to believe and I’ll believe whatever I want to believe and we’ll leave it at that.” Now here’s why I believe there is no god.

Does anyone have any proof HE exists? ANY? How can you believe in things with no proof? I need more then just HE’s watching and you should do the right things because you want to be in his good graces when judgment day rolls around. I believe Christianity and the belief in God was created by people way back when to try to help society achieve common goals and continue to move forward in the best means possible. Plus the satisfaction derived from helping people is the most value you can have as a meaningless peon in the grand scheme of things. I understand the idea that people who have god in their lives feel more fulfilled but can’t I feel just as fulfilled without believing in him? Can I not help people the same way Christians can without believing in god?

I feel like I can describe “miracles from god” as dumb luck. When I narrowly missed getting crushed by a car and t-boned, that was God’s doing? There was probably another car accident somewhere else where the person didn’t get so lucky. Where was god for that one? Oh I forgot, God picks and chooses who he wants to help because he’s all powerful.

I can’t explain how everything came from nothing. I can’t explain how a supreme being created everything. All I can do is live my life, try to be happy, and enjoy it the best I can because I’m just one of the masses in this slither of time that is the universe. God or no god, I don’t think it matters much to me.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T16:01:42-04:00May 19th, 2011|My Brain|0 Comments

Chuck Klosterman’s Questions – Question 6

With 0 serious feedback, onward we go. Question 6.

6. At long last, someone invents “the dream VCR.” This machine allows you to tape an entire evening’s worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device if you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don’t agree to this, you can’t use the dream VCR.

Would you still do this?

There’s no way I would do this. I have had some really funky, perverted, cruel dreams. If people knew what my sub-conscious thought of sometimes, you’d look at me like a complete nut job. I’m pretty much an open book with this blog and I share mostly everything but some of my dreams are pretty far out there. I know it’s just a dream but I think there may be some inner truths found in dreams that can possibly come out that I just would rather not share with people. Everything is really a matter of perception and how you perceive me is how I am in your eyes. You perception if formed by how the way I control how I act. Now if you saw my dreams, you’d perceive me from a view that I wasn’t controlling and that could get ugly. Plus I don’t hold dreams as full truths which would be totally misleading.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:28:31-04:00May 19th, 2011|Books|4 Comments

Rnningfool.com To Infinity and Beyond

I just went back to post #1 and read about 50 posts from about two years ago. It was a blog but it wasn’t a really good blog. I honestly feel that the present day entries I have been putting out have been good reads. Back then my thoughts were all over the place, there are no images, its just a lot of gibberish. There are some funny things but I had no SEO, bad titles, and there was barely any concepts to the posts. I know I still write posts about my life which are nonsense but I feel like it’s focused nonsense. I think just owning this site has been a really good experience for me and I hope to develop this website one step further. What I really could use is some feedback. I’m basically pleading for help here. If you read this blog on a fairly regular basis, can you give me any thoughts on what you like, what you don’t like, what I should do more of. I’ll even give you some nudging. Do you like when I pick something like Klosterman’s questions and answer them? Do you like reading about my daily life? Do my opinions on facebook, movies, and celebs make for interesting reads? Is current news make for good posts? When I started this blog it was about me. Now I have tried to turn it into my thoughts entertaining you. It can still be a journal but there has to be more then just my boring life. You can help me tailor it to something better. Any thoughts are appreciated.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-18T23:12:21-04:00May 18th, 2011|My Brain|5 Comments