Starting last Thursday and ending on early Sunday morning, I drank heavily. Do I know the exact number of drinks I consumed? No. Only nerds care about the sort of thing but it’s in the vicinity of 50. You sort of lose track when you combine beers and shots and how to accurately count them. Either way, I was paying the price on Sunday.

I write this post, like I have before, to give an idea of what to expect with 3 hard days of drinking. Stupidly, on Sunday, I had signed up for a bowling tournament at 6pm. When I got back to my house at around 12pm, I knew I was in big trouble for the bowling tournament. When I arrived at the alley I had to sign a card with my name on it and my hand was completely shaking. My hand writing looked like one of an 85 year old. Note to anyone out there, you don’t want to have shaky hands in a sport that commands precision. I combated the shakes by drinking a few more beers which is best way to rid yourself of them but you will still pay the price further down the line. I bowled adequate but nothing like I can.

I got some Popeye’s chicken on the way home for my 1st meal of the day which is what happens when you drink too much. I went to sleep at around 10pm and sweated through the night in various hour long sleeps. I woke up extremely tired even though I had slept for over 8 hours. I could barely eat breakfast and knew I was in trouble for the day as I’ll write in detail later.

I started chugging as much water as possible but your body only takes so much before each water bottle you drink comes out in clear pee 10 minutes after finishing it. I tried chugging 2 coco-waters and 3 pills of these Vitamin B supplements which sort of worked. I then went for a run to try to sweat out some toxins. All of this helped but I certainly wasn’t fully recovered. We bowled in our league last night and lost 0-4 and even though I didn’t bowl horribly, it’s the same idea that I wasn’t as good as I could have been.

How every decision feels.

I slept for almost 10 more hours last night and finally feel like a human being again. The best way to describe this process of alcohol withdrawal is ineffective. Your brain is slow. You look for the right words to speak and your brain flips through about 3 incorrect words before you sound like an idiot out loud. Your decision making is slow as can be and even operating a car is difficult. You’ll see a biker come out of nowhere and start to wonder where did it come from or if it was even there at all. The only cure to the withdrawal is time and boy it takes a while.

I write this post because there are probably millions of people just like me who go through this process one weekend after another. You can try drinking yourself back to health but this is obviously not a good idea. The best method is to know that it’s going to be tough and do your best to get past it. This isn’t a cry for help either. It’s how you know you had a good weekend.

Evan asked me if I was introducing the “hot take” (this is what I used for my Pop Up Beer Gardens Suck) as my new segment and I won’t because it’s too overused. Everyone has a hot take and I’d say my takes are more lukewarm which doesn’t roll off the tongue as well.

Hate this screen.

Today’s post is on why I don’t listen to Podcasts. I equate putting on a podcast to playing a DVD to watch a movie. It’s too much trouble. This may come of as maniacal and ridiculous but those 10 seconds of action deter me greatly. For instance, I don’t mind going to MyDVR but hate going to On Demand. MyDVR pops up instantly and OnDemand loads for about 3 seconds.

Soon sports will be played by robots but that’s a different post.

Of course this isn’t the only reason I dislike Podcasts or you could considering putting me in an asylum. My main problem is that it isn’t LIVE. I’d rather watch a baseball game live (a sport I minimally like) vs a replay of the PGA ( a sport I have much interest because of Draftkings). In a live setting ANYTHING can happen (it could even be a boat). A replay is censored. Podcasts are thought out. Live radio is spontaneously. Last night I was listening to sports radio where Jon Johnson was rattling off his top 5 action movie stars. I asked myself wouldn’t I rather be listening to a thought provoking podcast? No I wouldn’t.

If you don’t know the movie, you can’t argue with the list.

In case you were wondering his list was 5. Steven Segal 4. Bruce Willis 3. Tom Cruise 2. Sylvester Stallone 1. Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don’t believe Segal should be on the list and Harrison Ford should be 5. I’d even bop Tom Cruise with Mel Gibson.

I’ve only ever listened to one Podcast in my life and that was Serial which I somewhat enjoyed but finished with an underwhelming feeling. I’d must prefer Making a Murderer to a podcast which is another reason why I don’t like podcasts. Video trumps audio. Soon Virtual Reality with trump video. I also don’t like to feel like I’m wasting time so the idea that anyone and everyone can make a podcast is a turnoff to me. At least with TV you know someone is spending at least thousands to share their idea. I also find them to be too long. People talking for an hour is not entertaining to me. I can’t feel restricted when I spend my time on entertainment.

So there you go. Podcasts suck and you’ll probably disagree and point out 25 podcasts that are awesome and I won’t listen to any of them. Just kidding but you’d have to really twist my arm and then better be right about it being good.