We Don't Walk Slow

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

8 Minutes

I set my alarm for 6:52 this week. On Monday, I woke up and hit the snooze a time a two, for some unknown reason my blackberry snooze is every 5 minutes. So I end up into my car at 7:15. Green Lane is already backed up past our driveway and then the entrance to Kelly dr is backed up for, I’d guess 50 cars. Tuesday I’m in my car by 7:09 and I’m greeted with the same scenario. So today I get up when my alarm goes off and an in my car by 7:01. No backup on Green, none on the way to Kelly and it took me around 35 minutes and that even includes stopping at Dunkin Donuts. Today’s drive was perfect and I wonder if it’s because Wednesday’s are lighter traffic days or if those few minutes make the difference. Personally I think the minutes make the difference because in people’s minds 6 am is different than 7 am. The mental state behind it being 6 in the morning compared to 7 is the explanation behind the back ups. In my opinion, when people are leaving to go to work when I am, they most likely have an 8am start time. If they are on the road at 7:15 it’s early and they have plenty of time to manage traffic. They don’t need to be on the road any earlier than that. Considering more people probably have 8am start times than 7am, it makes sense why 7am would have considerably less traffic then 7:15. Just my whacked out opinion on traffic but since you deal with it every day, it’s something to comment on.

The other problem with morning commutes is the music today was awful. At one point I was listening to It’s Alright by Kenny Loggins because it was easily the best song playing. I actually like this song but for it to be by far and away the best was hard to take. There’s a song called Percussion Gun that is so awful and still gets play time on AltNation. Pink, Pat Benetar, Travie McCoy, and Justin Timberlake were clogging up the airwaves today. It’s so obvious that they should create a new station where you have one person pick out the music and he can pick out whatever he wants based on his personal music tastes. The stations are all geared to a specific genre of music. They should make it so you have a personality who speaks every so often so you can personalize with the dj and if he likes the music, there’s a good chance you will too. I feel like they have a list of songs that get shuffled and a lot of old boring crap is played. I actually intend to give this suggestions to Sirius because I know they have guests who do this from time to time but I want stations devoted to it. They had Mark Hoppus from Blink who was doing this and even though I’m not a huge Blink fan, he had good taste in music and it’s cool to hear what a talented artist thinks is good music.

New subject. Monday, for the first time ever ,the guy who opens the doors at Dunkin Donuts asks me for change. Now this came as a bit of surprise to me because I never knew he was looking for change, I just figured he liked to hold the door and wear a bright colored traffic vest for nothing. So I actually tipped my change on Monday so I didn’t have anything to give him. On Tuesday I eat my breakfast somewhere different but today as I was driving right past DD, I heard the song “Change” by Tears for Fears. This sparked my brain to give change to the guy. So I went in and he wasn’t there. After I ordered and got my food, he appeared out of nowhere to open the door. I had already tipped my change again so I went to my car, got a buck, and gave it to him and said something stupid like “you do a good job.” A smile ran across his face and I expect to have good karma for the rest of the day.

Finally random rant. The way that Guitar Hero is ruining songs, I feel like Glee is having the same effect. It’s not in the same way because Guitar Hero would ruin songs by making you play them repeatedly until you got sick of them. This is a common thing with songs because once you hear them too much, they start to get on your nerves. Sad to say I thought Teenage Dream was pretty good and now it just bothers the hell out of me. What Glee does is opens the eyes of their fan base, I would guess middle, high school & college students and makes them aware of some pretty good songs out there. I actually think that they make some of the songs better as was the case with “losing my religion” by REM. But I also think they can ruin songs like “Only the Good Die Young” by Billy Joel. I was thankful they didn’t sing any Christopher Cross songs last week because that could have nationalized the popularity of a gem in “Ride Like the Wind.”

Final paragraph goes out specifically to my brother Sam who I think might like this band because they play the type of music who I believe he may find likable. They are XTC and I don’t believe it’s because of the drug.

By Tom Stortz|2010-10-06T12:11:09-04:00October 6th, 2010|Music, My Life|2 Comments

Failbook

One of my favorite websites is failbook.com. I’m really amazed at the stupidity of the posters but without them, what fun would it be. Just reading and viewing how people type nowadays is a complete disaster. I’m sure that baby boomers are all pulling their hair out at how poor either our education system has become or how stupid the kids of this age are. I feel like the old man now complaining about the younger generation but this is ridiculous. An example “ugh my fone jus got repooed ugh now i gots no fone enymore sorry if u texted me n i didnt respend bak.” Obviously this is the worst of the worst but you get the idea. All these u’s and lack of punctuation, it’s gotten really bad. One obvious reason is the texting and people’s desire to keep things as short as possible has really shit on the English language. To each his own but you can garner no respect typing or writing like that.

The failbook has also inspired me to write on people’s comments when they do something stupid. I think I have 300+ friends so I get updates from probably 280 of them who I never talk to. Even if I haven’t seen them in years I’ve started to go out of my way and posting on their walls if I see something moronic. Some girl wrote “just saw social networking… if only i could be super smart and invent something to make me a billionnaire…” So I went out of my way to comment “spelling the word right would be a start.” I’m sort of implementing this into my daily routine to point out the miscues of others. Most people would read that and just go about their day but I’ve decided to be an asshole because if I don’t, maybe no one else would. Also, don’t think that pointing out my errors is going to teach me a lesson because I even if I do, they are no where near as bad as the material in the interwebs.

By Tom Stortz|2010-10-05T17:29:10-04:00October 5th, 2010|My Brain|0 Comments

Volcano Pics

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:45:37-04:00October 5th, 2010|My Brain|0 Comments

Ambler Bball and emotions

Quick bball paragraph because I can’t go into too much detail. We walk in the lobby and there are 8 black guys sitting on the bench and my first thought is “shit.” The one guy was 6-5 and we don’t have any size so we thought we could be in trouble. As it turns out these guys must have missed all their practices as youths. They were pretty awful and we weren’t much better and still beat them by 15+. We literally missed, I’d guess 20 easy layups and another 20 shots. We could have had 100 points if we were any good. Ck4 said he was 2-11 and I was probably 2-12 and I don’t think I took a shot outside the paint. Bud was our saving grace as I think his shooting % was above 50. I know we are playing bad when I come to the bench and say “wow I suck,” and get consoled by Jess Baker saying “you’re not that bad.” Anytime a girl has to tell you you aren’t bad and she’s just saying it to be nice, you know you must be playing pretty bad. I may be exaggerating a tad, but seriously it’s only a tad. I air-balled a foul shot to give you an idea of how bad it was. If we played anyone decent, this would not have been such a lopsided victory.

On a tangent, I was thinking the other day that I seem to lack the fundamental emotions like being sad because something bad happened or getting excited because something should be fun. What I mean is that I try to stay pretty even keeled and not let emotions get in the way of what I’m feeling. Some examples, and these aren’t the best, but I was listening to sports radio and a caller was saying how “pissed off” he was that the Eagles lost. Uhh, who cares and how does this affect you? People are getting nuts over the Phillies and their playoff games. Why am I getting thrilled about a baseball game? Do these things actually make people happy when their sports teams win? I contribute nothing to the outcome so it’s the same result whether I see it or not and I just don’t have any emotion whatsoever towards sports. Consider something like our bball game, if we lost I would care more about that but that would literally be for a minute after the game and then I’m moving on because I’m not going to get worked up over recreation sports.

This sort brings me to people looking for other people and the emotional attachment that comes with it. Throughout my life I’ve had a lot of people I can call my friends. I always thought I was pretty nice to people so people tended to be nice to me and that in turn develops friendships. Now that relating to my lack of emotional scale, throughout my life I probably don’t talk to the majority of the friends I’ve developed over my lifetime. It’s not like I stopped liking the person, I just probably didn’t see any reason to continue the friendship whether it be to geography or just because. I feel like people have this “I’m going to go out of my way to maintain this friendship” and I just think I don’t. It’s never anything personal either I just sort of always feel like I should make it on my own and didn’t really need anyone to help. As you get older you sort of regret the time that you could have spent because as time moves, people grow apart. I just think of areas I could improve on and this for whatever reason comes to mind.

By Tom Stortz|2010-10-05T00:14:14-04:00October 5th, 2010|My Brain, Sports|1 Comment

Riverpalooza 2010

Believe it or not, I don’t really have any good stories from the day. The ticket endeavor worked like a charm as we were able to get rid of every ticket for a 10 dollar price. I probably gave back 50 or so during the day but without the bartenders, we wouldn’t have been able to make it work. I think we got to Mad River at about 2:30 and it was already starting to get crowded. By 5 it was completely packed. The bands were pretty good and despite some repeats of songs, everyone was enjoying themselves. To my recollection I had 3 beers before we got there at 2:30, another 6 or so while we there and tack on a shot and probably about 4 mind erasers. I can remember 4 specifically so that tally could easily be 6. By 7 I was in front of the band and decided to find out where everyone went and I was the only person there. At that point I walked back and got some beef lo mein from the Chinese place. When I got back there was Jeff, Mael, and Julie and I think it was around 8 or so. We played some quarters and by 10:30 I wasn’t functioning properly anymore. I’m usually pretty good at quarters and I literally couldn’t make a shot and most of them were going directly into the table and not bouncing anywhere. At that point I made a wise decision and passed out at around 10. If I would have gone out I would have been asking for trouble and at that point, it was the right move. So I don’t have anything wildly entertaining from the day but I still thought it was a good time.

My fantasy teams had a 2-2 week with wins coming in leagues I needed wins in and losses in leagues I could afford them. The turkeys, without my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd round picks still managed 120+ points but lost to Evan to give him his first win. (baring Chad Henne throwing 4 picks and 0 yards.) The Nuts also lost in a lackluster performance but the Terminators dominated and the Mind Erasers also had a big week being led by TO. Plus my eliminator in the Chargers won with ease. I also had one bet this week on the Giants and I am now up 30 bucks on the season moving into week 5.

I’m not going to give a big rundown of shows although I did watch all my normal Sunday TV. I actually wasn’t really impressed with any of them. Dexter seems to be off on a weird tangent with avg story lines developing. Eastbound and Down made a wise decision to bring Stevie back because he really is the best character on the show. Family Guy was one of the worst episodes I’ve ever seen and they should stick to making people laugh rather than political humor. Boardwalk empire was one of those, is anything going to happen episodes and I didn’t really find it all that entertaining. Weeds is tonight and I really enjoyed the last episode and hope that tonight’s is equally good.

Ambler bball tonight to move to 3-0. Other than that everything is pretty normal and with cold weather moving in, the season’s are changing. I know this isn’t the most exciting post but it’s early in the week and I tend to function poorly in the beginning and get better as the days move along.

By Tom Stortz|2010-10-04T09:23:50-04:00October 4th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Manayunk Bar Review from a Drunk

So I believe this post should be my most acclaimed work. I’ve lived in Manayunk for 2+ years now and I consider myself to be a pretty distinguished alcoholic. So, my opinion should be well respected on what bars I consider good and why I don’t visit other bars. If you are reading this and questioning anything, I am designating these opinions as absolute truth coming from my views first hand. In no particular order:

Kildares – Once upon a time this was my bar of choice. Although I’m not a huge fan of the interior, this bar provided a very good drinking atmosphere and generated a nice girl / guy ratio with good looking girls on weekends. As a bar to drink at during the weekdays, I find the bar to be oddly shaped and the specials usually aren’t that special. To give you an idea, Wednesday boasts $3 blue moon, $3 u-call-its and $3.50 corona’s (8-10). Let me break this down: Blue Moon is an oddball beer that shouldn’t be the special, u-call its cost the bar .50 cents tops and Corona’s should be 3.50 on the reg so I don’t see what’s so special. Friday and Saturday they offer $3 Coors and $3 Bud light. With these specials I can run up a 20 dollar tab and barely catch a buzz. When I think special, I want a cheap price so I can get loaded for little cash. They also promote “NO COVER!” on a THURSDAY. No shit I don’t want to pay cover on a Thursday, that shouldn’t be an advertising piece. I also cringe every time I have to pay a cover for a DJ. I understand bands cost a lot of money and I will pay cover but a DJ? Another problem with this place is that it’s hard to get the right amount of people to make it fun. The space is pretty limited so if they get a big crowd it’s too crowded and at times it can be dead and it’s spacey and not fun. The dance floor is also a weird little area because it’s really compact so you are always on top of each other. I’m certainly not bashing the place because it is set up nicely but if I were to give some suggestions, give 1-2 dollar drink specials (domestics or the light beers) during happy hours and then raise the price when people get in the door. The food is a little suspect but I’ve had their wings and I really like their house special sauce. I give this bar a 6.5 with room to improve but not awful.

The Bayou – Read my review here

Bourbon Blue – I have mixed feelings on Boubon Blue. I feel like it tries to cater to and upscale / professional crowd which makes it come off as “not fun.” I prefer this layout to a bar like Kildare’s but this place can get really crowded and make it so you can’t get a drink. This is my main issue with this place. The upstairs bar is a half oval so it limits the amount of people the bartenders can serve. They also have chairs in front so you are always leaning over people to get drinks. With tables behind the front bar, it just makes for a tight drink getting process. Plus when it’s crowded they should have more than 2 bartenders (I don’t go there enough to know how they handle this). They do have bands on occasion and they’ll play in the downstairs area which is a pretty good place for a dance floor. The bar on the downstairs can also be a nuisance to get a drink at if it’s too crowded. This another bar where I think they specials aren’t very special but like I said, they cater to a “higher class” crowd then your neighborhood drunk. Example, Monday-Thurs $3 drafts, $3 dollar olive drinks, Friday’s $3 Coors… I don’t see any real specials on that menu which makes me think the owner is thinking about his wallet and not the customer. They opened a deck outside which is nice and the food is decent. It’s sort of hit or miss. I do like the one bartender Heather though because she’s always nice to me. Overall, another 6.5, decent but can be improved on.

Pitchers – Your hole in the wall bar that I’m sure has it’s regulars. I don’t visit here to frequently but it can get cramped if there are too many people. I’ve watched a UFC fight or two but I’m not sure if that’s still the case. I’m sure the prices are right but it’s probably not my ideal location for a night on the town. No rating because I don’t go there.

Manayunk tavern- I been inside this location one time. I can’t explain it but this bar isn’t for me. I feel like it consists of preps and people who think they are better than you. I have nothing to base this off of and will leave it at that.

Brew Pub – A fan favorite among girls for some reason. I have my gripes of course. It’s a very big place which can accommodate a shitload of people. They have bands play in a room downstairs, which is way too tight and when it’s nice out they sometimes play outside which is pretty fun. When it comes to atmosphere this place really takes the cake. A can’t really find any faults with their set up as they have adequate room for standing or sitting. What I can find faults with is their prices and their beer. The two actually go hand in hand. To my knowledge they don’t offer and low price alternative to their house brewed beer. Which means you pay 5 bucks for a Corona or 5 bucks for their beer. As a person who has tried tons of beer, I find theirs to be extremely good. It’s high alcohol content and I really get bombed off their IPA and their Manayunk Lager is top notch. However, I don’t like being forced to drink their beer and I find their ten dollar double rum and cokes to be extreme. The drink costs less than a dollar to make, cut the consumer some slack. Also what is with the bathroom attendant? They make me want to not wash my hands just so I can bypass feeling sorry for the attendant I’m not giving a dollar to. The place also has a lot of stairs which is pretty dangerous if you are too wasted. I always find the upstairs layout to be a bit unusual for some reason but I can’t put my finger on it. The sushi bar is an interesting addition and the food is probably decent. On a how the business is set up I’d give it an 8.5, my fun factor there for some reason settles at about a 6.

US hotel – I only visit this bar when it’s 1:00 am or later and I am walking back to my apt. So everytime I’m here I’m already wasted but I enjoy it. The lager on draft is usually the best I have in Manayunk. They do the cold glass with cold beer and it’s like magic in a glass. It’s not huge in size and there’s not much to do other than talk but I like the inside and this bar serves it’s purpose. No negative comments because it delivers what it should, a bar to get drunk at.

Mad River – The final destination on my bar guide. If you have been reading this blog you’d know that this is my bar of choice. I pretty much consider this place the black out haven of Manayunk. I’ve probably been kicked out of here, honestly and not surprisingly, I don’t remember how many times. The best part is, they still let me back in. Plus the employees there actually like me which is just as mind boggling. This bar has good specials on most nights. 99 cent drafts on Tues, $2 Coors lights on Wed, $1 Bud Lights on Thurs. Yes they are only for specified times but that’s OK because I’m trying to get drunk early so I don’t have to spend money when they raise the price to regular prices. Their regular prices are actually too high in my opinion but honestly when you have a place as big as theirs, I’m sure the rent is pricey (assuming they don’t own it). The set up is spacious and with something like 6 different bars/stations, no ones having problems getting alcohol which leads to a fun atmosphere and a lot of people trying to get laid. The bars are all very big with plenty of bartenders. As a guy, I prefer hot girl bartenders and this place doesn’t disappoint. I would assume these girls are the highest paid bartenders in the area and they dress to kill. Even the food is ok. Plus I never have a problem going to the bathroom because of lines. This bar obviously gets my highest rating in Manyaunk due to atmosphere, service, price (during specials), and general fun factor. Whether I throw up a 9 or 10, it is in poker terms, the nuts.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:53:47-04:00October 1st, 2010|My Brain|2 Comments

Door Opening and Tix

When it’s two guys together and there is a door to open, it’s not OK for one of the guys to open the door for the other guy. The proper procedure is for the guy in front to open the door, walk through, and then push the door open after he has walked through it to show courtesy. Unless your a homo, you don’t open doors for regular guy friends.

So tonight seems like another get fucked up night which I’m somewhat regretting because I plan on day drinking tomorrow. Now I don’t have so much of a problem drinking tonight, waking up, and then doing more drinking in the afternoon. I know I’m physically capable of performing that but the difference lies in the functionality of my body when comparing two situations. If I didn’t drink tonight and started to drink at noon tomorrow, I could probably steadily drink for 8+ hours and I’d be able to remember the majority. However, if I get lit tonight, then I’ll wake up at noon still feeling drunk and the first couple beers will immediately regenerate the buzz, thus leaving me with less drinking time and a much higher blackout chance. It’s a catch-22 because staying in on Friday’s is lame but I’m running a risk of getting out of hand on Saturday, we’ll see.

I also want to post that if you are planning on going to Riverpalooza and you read my blog and you don’t have tickets to get in, you can call me and I have a few extra that I’ll happily sell you at a discount compared to paying full price at the door. I find these outside, afternoon events are great fun because everyone, literally everyone, is getting wasted and is in good spirits. My # is 215-694-2438 so you can either text or call me and I should be able to help you out.

By Tom Stortz|2010-10-01T13:17:49-04:00October 1st, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Gym again

So with the weather taking a turn and running season finished, it’s time to start hitting the indoor gym. I prefer the nice weather and running outside to the gym but there’s really not to many alternatives to staying in shape in the fall/winter. The main difference between the gym and solitary running is the interaction with people. Now my prime time social skills are between 3-6 beers. At this time I’m coherent, I’m still quick witted, and I my listening skills are still intact. Between beers 6-12 I can still function but listening skills fade and instead of thinking, I just say the first thing that pops into my brain. Anything more alcohol than this and it’s unrecognizable blabber, although I could probably still function 15+. Now what sobriety level did I purposely leave out? Being sober.

Naturally when you go to the gym you are sober so interaction is done on a sober level. I have no problem dealing with customers at work when I’m sober but real social interaction is not my forte. Everything for me just always feels forced and it’s like I’m pretending to care. So I obviously wouldn’t be writing about this unless something happened. So I try to make as little eye contact as possible in the gym to avoid conversation but I caught a straight gaze right into the eyes of a girl I’ve known for a long time growing up. She obviously knew me and was wearing head phones so I think she was trying to play it off with a smile and hoping I’d go away but with an obvious acknowledgment of “I know you”, I wanted to say hello. So I walk over and she takes off her head phones and I open with “I haven’t seen you in a long time and I didn’t know you come to this gym…she answers, I ask “where are you living?” She replies with “the city”, I remark with a brilliant follow up “how long have you been there?” She looks at me and says “3 years…” So now I’m thrown off because I’m sure I’ve seen her in the past three years and knew she lived in the city but I couldn’t just walk away on this oddball question. Her sister was in my grade so now I’m scrambling for topics and ask about her. I knew she was married and just had a kid so I asked about that and she told me her younger brother just got married and has a kid on the way so I make another awesome remark “so you’re the odd person out in your family whose not married.” Not only do I use the word person, which I purposely did instead of man but she said she also has a younger brother whose not married yet which I should have known. My questions also was like I was implying “whats wrong with you, you’re not married yet?” So after that I decided it was best to cut my losses and exit stage left. She said tell your family I said hi and I think I muttered something like “yeah right, sure I will” in a sarcastic way that I didn’t really mean to come off like. Another hilarious tidbit was this was the sister of the girl who I saw in Sam’s club and gave one of my best lines ever when I asked her and her husband if they live in a house? This obviously brought about some dumbfounded looks.

Ahh, back to the gym. A place where I get to demonstrate my impressive social skills amongst people who I rarely ever see. It’s funny too because there’s no reason I should behave like a weirdo but once I feel like the conversation is turning or has already turned or I’ve run out of things to say, I start to panic and then usually just make things worse by looking for a way out. I’m actually not so much of a retard but this was pretty close to reality. I’m considering sending this link to the girl so she can read it and see how I perceive situations. I’m sure that would make for an interesting human experiment and see if she saw things this way. She should probably write an entry from her perspective to see if she saw things my way.

By Tom Stortz|2010-10-01T13:17:57-04:00September 30th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

I’m not good at things

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:57:30-04:00September 29th, 2010|Videos|5 Comments

Jump Around, House of Pain Style

Off topic, even without ever getting on topic, I say uh so many times in that past video blog that I really don’t notice myself doing it until I watch myself. Speaking for nearly 3 minutes isn’t as easy as I suspected but I’ll do a better job in the future. My only other comment on the video was I think plastic bagging an ugly girl is funnier than paper bagging.

I had some conversation thoughts when you want something and someone wants something else. Anytime you engage in negotiation, it can be viewed as you vs them. The two best defensive tactics in negotiation are the stall and the question with a question. I like the stall when someone asks you to do something and you don’t really know if you want to do it, so you just give vague answers and try to shift responsibilities to someone else. Example, “TC, you want to go do something stupid that I’m sure you don’t really want to do.” “Maybe, but I think I have to get something to eat in a while and I’ll let you know.” First the maybe gives them hope, then you use ‘a while’ so there’s an ambiguous time frame and the “I’ll let you know” pretty much gives you free reign to decide what to do.

The question with a question is CK4’s method of choice in negotiation. It’s not bad if the person who you are doing it to doesn’t know what’s happening, but if you notice someone else doing this to you, it usually just ends in a rigmarole.
Me – “Do you want to buy the tickets from me?”
Buyer – “How many do you have?”
Me – “How many do you need?”
Buyer – “2, how much?”
Me – “How much will you pay?” – Never name the price
Buyer – “Where are the seats?
Me – “When is this deal happening?”
Buyer – “Fuck you and this non information.” I didn’t really know how to end this so I figured that works and you get the point with the questions.

If you couldn’t tell by my title I have no organization to my paragraphs and will write as I please. I watched Blow for the first time in 8 or so years and to stay relative to crying scenes, this almost had me going. When Johnny Depp is leaving the tape recorder message for his Dad and said “your the best, pop.” I like the last line as well.

“Hello Dad. You know I remember a lifetime ago, when I was about 3 1/2 feet tall, weighing all of 60 pounds, but every inch your son. I remember those Saturday mornings going to work with my dad, we’d climb into that big green truck. I thought that truck… was the biggest truck in the universe pop. I remember how important the job we did was, how if it wasn’t for us, people would freeze to death. I thought you were the strongest man in the world. And remember those home videos when mom would dress up like Loretta Young, barbeques and football games, ice cream, playing with the Tuna. And when I left for California only to come home with the FBI chasing me, and that FBI agent Trout had to kneel down to put my boots on and you said, “That’s where you belong you son of a bitch, puttin on Georgie’s boots.” That was a good one pop, you remember that. And remember that time when you told me that money wasn’t real. Well old man, I’m 42 years old, and I finally realize what you were trying to tell me, so many years ago. I finally understand. Your the best, pop, just wish I could have done more for you, wish we had more time. Anyway, may the wind always be at your back, and the sun always upon your face, and may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars. I love you Dad. Love George. “
Even though my situation has nothing to do with being in jail and giving a goodbye, it’s always worthwhile to think of your Dad and telling him what he means to you. My Dad has given me everything and taught me everything it takes to succeed and I probably don’t give him enough credit through all the minutia.

But to sort of stray away from a great movie that was Blow, I had a weird thought. Considering how much time George was spending in jail, he must have encountered some drop the soap moments with other cellmates. So contemplating this, and don’t read on if you want to look at me as a normal human being again, wouldn’t a good defense to this problem be to just take a shit on the guy’s dick any time he tried to assfuck you? I honestly have no idea the logistics behind such a move but I figure if you pull it off, you’ll never have anyone try it to you again. Just throwing it out there.

My readership hasn’t grown at all. It sort of bothers me when I have these hilarious ideas like the one above and only 30 people are going to read about it but I refuse to sell out and start paying for readers. I will also never have ads on this and if it gets popular on it’s on accord, so be it but I won’t promote it because it’s like buying popularity and that’s not real. I appreciate the people who do visit often and will stay at it and any suggestions or thoughts to improve are always welcome. Even if you tell me it sucks, at least I know what not to do.

By Tom Stortz|2010-09-28T23:56:26-04:00September 28th, 2010|My Brain|1 Comment