About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Fun Fact Friday

“Domestic pigs average a top speed of about 11 miles per hour.”

I think it’s funny what some of the top speeds of animals are that you’d never consider fast. The top speed of a kangaroo is 30mph, a giraffe 32mph, and a lion can hit 50mph. Humans max out at 27+mph. I’ve been reading the Hunger Games and I feel for this reason alone, a human would have a hard time surviving against say a bear whose top speed is also around 30mph. Also lets not forget that this speed is by our fastest man on the planet, Usain Bolt. Humans do tend to have better endurance than most animals but there are still a few who would put us to shame. In this fascinating article on times that animals would achieve in a marathon, it’s apparent that a camel or ostrich would win by over an hour. I remember a funny show on Fox which pitted humans against animals and they had a team of 4 midgets against a camel (below). It’s a perfect example of intelligence against potential. The animal has the potential but just the way the camel acts in the beginning shows how clueless he is in what’s going on. Pretty funny stuff.

By |2012-01-20T00:12:01-05:00January 20th, 2012|My Brain|2 Comments

Italian Cruise Ship Deaths

I find this cruise accident fairly interesting for a few reasons other than the captain’s bizarre behavior. The boat was traveling with 3,200 guest and 1,000 crew members. There are reportedly 11 people dead and another 21 are missing. My initial reaction was how on Earth are people dying and going missing? There’s a giant cruise ship by the coastline that hit a rock, just get a life jacket and stay near this huge freaking boat. I feel like I would be able to tread water for a few hours if need be with no jacket. That should be plenty of time before someone could come and assist you especially because this crash occurred near the coast of Tuscany. What I believe happens though is that these older folks were unable to stay afloat even with a life jacket. How 21 are still missing is beyond me as well. You’re either there or you aren’t. I was reading that the captain had gone off route to show of the 450 million dollar cruise liner to the island resident of Tuscany. I guess he gave them quite a view.

By |2016-10-29T13:44:53-04:00January 19th, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments

Thirsty Thursday – Frostbiten

I’m going to use Thursdays as a bridge to anything alcohol related. I have a few decent stories involving alcohol although none as compelling as Tucker Max. This one took place when I was a junior in college and not quite 21 yet. I used to pregame with Bacardi rum and coke as my drink of choice. On this particular night I think I was probably black out drunk before I even got to the party. The party was in North Oakland which is about a 15 minute walk from South Oakland which was where I lived at the time. I don’t really have any recollection of the party but I remember getting thrown out about 30 minutes after I arrived. I thought I remembered some crazy shortcut that someone showed me my freshman year so I decided to make the trek back to my apartment myself with no other option. After walking down some random path to some train tracks, I realized that I had no idea where I was.

On normal nights this wouldn’t have been a big deal but this particular night it was about 0 degrees outside and it had snowed a few days earlier. This was your typical Pittsburgh winter. So as I’m wandering by myself in an area of Pittsburgh I’ve never been, in a black out state mind you, with no sense of direction, I found myself in a few predicaments. First off, I was wearing regular shoes and trudging through 6 inch deep snow so my feet were ice cold. My keys to my apartment and phone were no where to be found, most likely falling out of my pocket as I was falling down random hills. Understand there was no trail where I was walking. I was just moving through a wooded area with no idea what I was doing. I remember screaming for help but there was no one near by and then I thought better of it realizing that I was a likely candidate to get robbed and murdered. At one point I came to a fence that was blocking me from where I thought I needed to go. It wasn’t that tall of a fence but my shoe was too big to fit into the fence rung. I decided to take my shoe off and stick my foot in the hole to get myself over. This was a success but now I found myself without a shoe. I can’t really recall how it happened but I managed to work my way back to a street where I patiently waited for a bus. I was walking the complete wrong direction for what seemed like forever but was probably only a few hours. I got on this bus with one shoe and ice cold and was fortunate that the bus was taking me back to Oakland where I lived. I remember having my head in my hands just thanking god that I made it through this expedition. At this point the alcohol was starting to wear off and I made my way back to my apartment, without any keys. I had a hallway to the apartment where I took my jacket off and wrapped it around my frozen foot and passed out for an hour or so. When I came to I realized I had a significant problem. I couldn’t put any pressure on my foot and I decided to hop over about 6 streets to my friend Bill’s house. It was about 5 in the morning at this point and I started pounding on his door. His roommate, an engineer or something, wasn’t too pleased to see me as he had some exam early in the morning but I was lucky enough he woke up to answer the door. I passed out on his couch for a few more hours while I kept my foot next to the radiator. After waking up again, I put my foot in some luke warm water and was still having problems. I ended up going to the ER where I was diagnosed with frostbite.

They gave me some crutches and told me to stay off of it which I did. Now this is where amazing happens. They sent me to a specialist who takes care of limbs. I go into the office and there are about 20 people in the room, all age 70 and over. The first time he sees the foot it looks really pink and he didn’t really know what to tell me other than we’ll see how it heals. I had to put some type of cream on it and this was one of the scariest times of my life. I remember going to sleep one night in my bed with my entire leg feeling ice cold like I lost feeling and I remember thinking that worst case scenario was that I could lose my toes. If that doesn’t scare you I don’t know what does. Amazingly when I went back the second time the foot developed these wild pus filled blisters. The doctor cut off all of this dead skin and it was seriously a gruesome sight. I wish I had some pictures. After more time healing I remember this joyous day where he said I was pretty much fully recovered (with a few exceptions) and I sprinted home because it was the first time I was able to really enjoy being back to normal. The drawbacks of frostbite are that my foot gets numb in the cold. It doesn’t matter how many layers are on it, if it’s cold, my foot’s numb. This is really uncomfortable when you try to do things like skiing or any other winter related activities. Luckily for me though I survived with minor injuries and this began my illustrious career of stupid injuries related to alcohol.

By |2016-11-01T23:26:42-04:00January 18th, 2012|My Life|1 Comment

Snookie – No MakeUp vs w/ Makeup

I was running through my Twitter feed when I came across this picture on the left and I was pretty surprised. Aside from the fact that I wouldn’t even recognize her without makeup, she looks pretty good. It always surprises me when girls decide to apply tons of make up when she they can look perfectly normal, if not better, without. Lets be honest here though, she’s been doing ridiculous workouts to get herself fit after receiving all that stardom. It’s obviously made her super self-conscious about her weight and I think that as long as it’s all healthy, she’s turned into a very attractive female. Not saying she wasn’t before (she wasn’t) but she is now. Am I off base here?

By |2013-03-15T03:29:42-04:00January 18th, 2012|Celeb|1 Comment

Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead by Neil Strauss

This was a 500 page book that I finished in 4 days because I was extremely absorbed throughout its entirety. The book is a series of 200+ interviews with high profile actors, musicians or other times fascinating people for one reason or another. After reading a few of these interviews you start to understand that Strauss is extremely good at what he does. He as the ability to get these characters to open up to him in a way you wouldn’t think possible. From Lady Gaga, Britney, Chuck Berry, Kenny G, Hanson, Zac Efron… the list goes on and on. Reading about all these big stars who struck it rich and other talented people whose life went awry was one of my favorite reads in a long time. It also gives a perspective on life and death because so many of these interviews are of people who have since died way to early in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s. It makes you realize life isn’t guaranteed and reading about what other people find important and how they go about and what’s important in their life is intriguing. I intend to read other works by Strauss (who works for the NY Times and Rolling Stone) because I tend to stick with what I like and understand an entire authors works. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

Strauss: Do you believe in any kind of spirituality?
Liam Gallagher (Oasis): God’s within yourself. You’re your own God and you’re your own devil. You do your fucking thing, you get in you own little vibe, you settle your own shit, be nice to everyone, and if anyone gives you shit, you don’t eve speak to them again”

Strauss: But is being content something one should necessarily strive for?
Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails): It’s not about being content. It’s about: What if everything you ever wished for in your life and never thought you’d get, you got – and it still sucked? That’s the thing. I look at Oasis: dumb idiots just living life. Not to be shitty to them, but I guess the lowest strive for being an asshole and stupid. You know, ignorance is bliss and there’s a truth to that that. I guess I don’t want it, but at the same time I always wished I could fucking fit in and just escape.

Strauss: Maybe the reason is because early on you set up an image for yourself that people are holding on to?
Britney Spears: See, that’s such an irony. People are like, “You were so innocent, da da da da,” and all that. And I’m like, “No, I wasn’t. You guys said I was too sexual when I first came out with ‘… Baby One More Time.'” You can’t win, man. You know what I mean?

By |2012-01-18T08:42:27-05:00January 18th, 2012|Music|0 Comments

Wankin’ Wednesday – Early Britney Spears Years

I think we can all agree that early career Britney was far more attractive than present day Britney. It’s amazing how celebrity status can destroy something so pure and turn it into a pill popping psycho. The press should take most of the blame. Let’s celebrate the days when Britney Spears might actually have been a virgin.

The infamous video that screamed innocence…

By |2016-11-01T23:26:31-04:00January 17th, 2012|Boobs|0 Comments

Growing into potential

I’ve been training pretty hard for nothing in particular. I’m going to be doing a few upcoming races but I don’t have any real reason for doing well other than to see how good I can do personally. I’m never going to be the best and there is no financial gain at the end of the road. Yet for some reason I continue to push myself to see how fast I can run at my elder age of 28. I don’t think I’ll ever match the speed I had when I was younger but I did manage a 16:54 for 3 miles tonight which will tie the time I ran 10 days earlier. I felt terrific and can undoubtedly finish 2 more miles at 6 minute pace to come close to a 29 minute time for this Frostbite 5 miler. In the past years from out of college to present day, I’ve been a 6 minute miler, no better. This new found endurance and speed is really making me re-think my capabilities. I’ve been running 4-5 times a week but I think I could push it one more gear to really test my potential as a human being. There’s no reason to do it other than to test my own capabilities in my current body.

That’s why I believe the title of this post is so interesting. When I was 14-17 and running track in high school, I was a puny, weakling who finally started growing a little bit junior year. I ran times that were faster than I can do now but that’s because I had more dedication and didn’t drink any alcohol. At that time in my life, I was pretty serious about running but wasn’t 100% dedicated which is what you have to be to “grow into your potential.” For some unexplainable reason, I’ve found that dedication again and feel that I should see if I can better my high school times. My plan is to train hard until the Frostbite, see what I run, and re-evaluate from there. This 28 year old body feels like it can be bigger and stronger than my 17 year old body. I’m curious to see what happens.

By |2013-03-15T03:39:38-04:00January 17th, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments

Structure

I’ve decided to bring more of a structure to the blog. I’ve wrote about this before but never changed anything. Basically I’m going to take a theme and apply it to each day. This will make the posts more consistent and (hopefully) entertaining. I’m open to new ideas but I’ll give you what I initially came up with. I also don’t know when I’ll begin because I should probably have a few ideas before putting it into action.

Music Mondays – I’ll pick a band and list my top 5 songs from them
Tabloid Tuesdays – Some strange story about some famous schmoe
Wanking Wednesday – A random hot piece of ass ala barstools “smokeshow” of the day
Thirsty Thursday – Maybe I’ll review some beer that I’ve drank or some random drunk story
Fun Fact Friday – Some obscure fun facts or random knowledge
Saturday Night Movie Review – A review of random movies
Sports Sunday – Some sports story or stat analysis

I think that would cover a range of different topics and give me something to write about with having a basis for creativity. I’m really open to any suggestions if someone thinks they have a good topic to write about over a length of time. Also these names were off the top of my head so I’m pretty sure I can do better. Also, I write more than 30 posts in a month so these would still be intermingled with my regular posts about whatever. Relatively good idea?

By |2016-11-01T23:29:22-04:00January 17th, 2012|My Brain|3 Comments

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