We Don't Walk Slow

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Using Words

There are some words which seem to have more of an effect than others. Basically words that everyone uses are good, nice, fine, ok, but these aren’t stand out words. These words I described are just words that you hear in conversation but they don’t really mean anything. I want to go over a few words that actually have an impact.

Solution This word makes you sound smart. Whenever you are problem solving, using the world solution is key. It basically shows that your intention is finding the end goal which makes you look like you know what you’re doing. “The client is getting carpal tunnel syndrome from using our software.” The response “well lets find a solution”. Whether you are able to find one or not doesn’t really matter as long as you point out that you are trying to reach the end goal. This word works in so many spot and you can actually sound intelligent to superiors because everyone wants the “solution”.

Bitch – The ultimate insult. Being called a little bitch is about the last thing anyone wants to be called. It completely emasculates any male and they will do anything in their power to prove they aren’t a bitch. Plus if you take the word little away and just call them a bitch it also is associating them with a pussy which is also another good insult word. A pussy makes you more a wimp but a bitch means that you are actually scared to do something. If someone is complaining just tell them to “stop whining like a little bitch” and see if that shuts them up.

Lame & Pathetic – Both strong words that pack a punch. Calling things lame is something that I don’t hear very often. It’s like saying it’s completely boring and sucks but since everyone uses the word sucks, it has no meaning any more. Calling it lame means it’s guaranteed to be not any fun. Pathetic fits in the same boat but works better when something is done poorly. Like “that attempt was pathetic.” Its just not a word you want associated with yourself. Both words though don’t get used enough and can fill in many situations nicely.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:46:58-04:00January 26th, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments

Thirsty Thursday – Founders vs Weyerbacher

I prefer buying variety pack cases because I tend to get sick of drinking 24 of the same beers. Variety packs switch it up a bit and you get a good sampling of what the brewery has to offer. This being said, I’ve probably had variety packs from 50 different brewers over the years. These two mentioned in the title are the cream of the crop. I haven’t found better bang for my buck in terms of abv, taste, and value.

Weyerbachers variety pack costs around $50 dollars. This price seems extraordinary but considering each beer is over 8% it’s like slicing that number in half and buying 2 cases. Since it’s basically 2 beers in one, they tend to get you bombed quickly. I find it nice when I can consume half the liquid and still catch the same, if not better, buzz. The 4 beers that come in this case are the Blithering Idiot, Old Heathen Imperial Stout, Hops Infusion, and the Merry Monks. The Hops Infusion is their IPA and probably my favorite. Old Heathen is the 8% stout and I’d rank highly for a stout beer. The Blithering Idiot hits 11.1% is you can hardly taste it. The Merry Monks is my least favorite but still a beer that’s better than 85% of the beers out there. This case is one that you get upset when you are coming down the homestretch.

Founders is probably the better value because it’s priced at a 40 dollar number. Considering it’s being shipped from Detroit you’d think a beer of this caliber would be priced higher. The pack consists of the Dirty Bastard (8.5%), Centennial IPA (7.2), Red Rye’s PA (6.6%), and the Porter (6.5%). With 3 ales and a porter I may be a bit biased because I like pale ales. I see the alcohol content isn’t as high as Weyerbacher but still much higher than the average case. The Dirty Bastard is the showcase of the pack and a beer I’d order at any bar if they had it. The pale ales have nice to them and I really can’t remember much about the porter. For 40 bucks though I never find myself complaining about any of the styles (which is normally the case) and with a higher than normal ABV, they get you drunk.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:43:54-04:00January 26th, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

Except I know exactly what I’ve been getting. I know the blog material has been pretty static but I’m pretty much living/wasting life away. I tallied a new best time in a 3 mile run on the Track Tuesday clocking in at 16:50. This is boding well for the 5 miler on February 18th. I also had a nice dinner with Laura at Farmicia where we talked about a lot of good topics and I thought the food was pretty average to be honest. We both sort of agreed that we need to be more outgoing and make more of an effort in various forms. I also think she talked me into the New Zealand trip to visit Jeff. I was pretty much on the fence because it’s a decent sized expenditure and it’s in a land that 22 hours away. Most likely though I won’t get the opportunity so I think I’m just going to commit and be done with the hesitating.

An odd thing I did last night was crush a mouse that was stuck on a sticky trap. Someone called me and asked if I could do it because they didn’t want to touch it and I said I would. I was pretty emotionless at ending the mouse’s life. This lack of emotion struck me as odd too when Laura asked if I would be excited to go to New Zealand and I pretty much was like ellipses. For some reason I just don’t get emotional at everything. I’m not sure if I’m programmed that way or what but it’s hard to explain what triggers emotion in me. I’m not emotionless 100% but it just takes the right formula for striking it in me. Crushing the mouse is also different because I almost feel like I’m doing it a favor. You set the traps to get rid of it, it gets caught and is stuck and living and you can’t just set it free. It’s like just get it over with. I feel like these are character traits of murderers…

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:47:08-04:00January 25th, 2012|My Life|1 Comment

Wankin’ Wednesday – Kate Upton

I don’t know if it’s fair that I go back to Kate Upton because I have displayed her in the past but I thought this 19 year old deserved a second look. Here is a nice slow motion shot of her boobs bouncing and below is a video that’s actually kind of boring. There’s just something about those huge fake boobs that bounce around like that. It’s very hypnotizing.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:21:44-04:00January 25th, 2012|Boobs|0 Comments

Your Brain at Work

I read only powerful brains get this but I feel like everyone can.

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By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:45:11-04:00January 25th, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments

Tabloid Tuesday – Jennifer Diley on American Idol

Those are some tiny shorts but that is one fine body. I think it’s her complexion which is really great too. Pointing out how hot this 19 year old though isn’t the reason for this post. This girl doesn’t need to win this contest to make it in life. Just by being on this show and being seen by 10+ million viewers will initiate some sort of positive reaction. I thought it was hilarious when Seacrest asks her “what would you do if you weren’t singing” and she answers with working with animals or kids. How about modeling? How about Playboy after this audition? This type of exposure is what millions of people around the world long for. I’m surprised more people don’t dress up like whores and pretend to sing just for the attention. The other story is that apparently 10 minutes before Diley went to audition Steven Tyler told her she would guarantee pass to the next round. Oops!

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:44:05-04:00January 24th, 2012|Tv|0 Comments

Who doesn’t feel like this?

We don’t have a lot of time on this earth. We weren’t meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.

If you work 5 days a week for a paycheck, you will feel this way at some point in your life. It’s unavoidable. You spend 5 days a week spending your time earning a living. Then you get 2 days to do things that you like to do. Then you spend 5 days providing. 2 days off. It’s the same routine for the next 40 years. This is what life is for the majority of us. Here’s an idea, get a family. Doing this basically consumes more of your time and puts even additional pressure on working. Having a family basically means that you have to work even more! I just don’t believe that I was mysteriously (this word and sentence is a whole separate topic) put into my body to work all my life. I have the ability to just Peter Gibbons it and do nothing but I wouldn’t be able to sustain that and would probably self destruct somewhere along the way.

I see why people turn to the lord for guidance. It’s to fill a void that can’t be filled any other way. I promise you I’m not filling that void by going to the gym and watching episodes of Breaking Bad even though it’s what I truly like doing. How do you fill the void? People fill it with drugs, alcohol, hobbies, television, movies, music, charity, anything that keeps you busy. The lord is just a symbol. He’s not really there but he gives you hope and a path which helps people achieve goals in life to better themselves. What’s it all for? To live up to the most potential you can as a human being. By being a good friend, a good family member, a good person.

At the 10 year class reunion I was getting tired of answering the same question of “how are you” with normal answers so I answered once with “just waiting to die.” Most likely my death won’t be for another 50 years but that feeling of what are you doing with yourself is just so evident. We all can’t be Bono or Angelina Jolie and save the world. People get worn down by this daily routine then it starts to become impossible to escape. You become a slave to your money and you die (taken from The Verve). You just need to take a step back and enjoy life. You can’t take life so seriously. The strange thing is I wouldn’t even classify this as a down point in my emotions. I feel great physically and I have no suffering currently. I just get tired and question what is happening with life in general. You should to.

By Tom Stortz|2012-01-24T01:26:41-05:00January 24th, 2012|My Life|0 Comments

Music Monday – Top 5 REM Songs

I decided to choose the band R.E.M because they have spanned a few decades and have made a lot of good music that I think people just aren’t aware of. Automatic for the People was released in 1992 and is probably in the top 250 albums of all time. Here are my 5 favorite songs by the band.

5. Strange Currencies – Off of the Monster album which was more rock oriented than Automatic but this song brings back the soft feel. Sort of sounds like the song I have as number 1 but I still like the sound.

4. Nightswimming – A song about skinny dipping at night. Just a nice paced song that is good listening.

3. Man on the Moon – Any references to Twister and Risk are good by me. The chorus of “Andy are you goofing on Elvis, Hey Baby” is legit.

2. The Great Beyond – Off of the Man on the Moon soundtrack in 1999. This song was also covered by the Fray. The chorus lifts the song.

1. Everybody Hurts – Great song when your feeling down. The lyrics are moving and I can’t think of a better song when life sucks. Easy #1.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:44:18-04:00January 23rd, 2012|Music|0 Comments

Saturday Review – Hunger Games

Let’s just assume I posted this yesterday. I read the book the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and I want to share my thoughts on it because I’m sure a lot of people have read it years ago. It was published in 2008 but with a movie coming out in the near future, it is in the headlines. I like to keep up with our current culture so I figured I’d read it. I finished it in about 4 days and it’s a pretty quick, easy, fun read. There aren’t too many characters to concentrate on and the story really moves. Catniss is an interesting main character and I thought the first person viewpoint was ideal throughout the book. I wouldn’t say this is the best book on the planet but if you have a few days with nothing to do, it’s an enjoyable read. I did think the ending of the games was pretty bizarre with the mutts and Cato.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-03T15:18:26-04:00January 22nd, 2012|Books|2 Comments

Whatever happened to AIM?

“I’ll add you to my buddy list”. 10 years ago AIM was the way people communicated. Simple chat messages back and forth would be peoples lives. Where did this go? We still have things like GChat and Facebook chat but it seems like people don’t use them the same way Aim was popular. My guess is that the text message is what put AIM down. With smart phones now, people basically have an AIM that can walk. This way you don’t have to be stuck at your computer to chat. Which I suppose is why GChat and Facebook chat will never catch on. While starting to write this entry I didn’t really think that this texting was such a compelling (great word) answer but now I’m pretty convinced that it’s the number 1 reason why AIM fell. Those were the days.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:45:21-04:00January 21st, 2012|My Brain|0 Comments