We Don't Walk Slow

Storage Wars Fake!?!

Here’s a video from Storage Wars of an editing mistake.

Now does this prove that the existence of the show is fake? Not in my book. What do people think happened? That the producers took a shot with boxes stacked up neatly and then ransacked the unit to place some good items. People are sold on the fact that this is what happens in this show. Everything is fixed and the producers set up good items before hand so that the show is more interesting. I have no proof that they don’t do this but I also haven’t seen any proof that they do. My take is that they have a load of footage from various units and we see the best ones. Now what I do find a bit interesting is that sometimes the facility is only auctioning a half dozen units and I’m not really what is being found in other units. The idea that the characters are really actors is absurd. Here’s a video of Dave Hester being a real person.

I would feel like a real dope if the show really was a hoax and set up. It certainly doesn’t feel that way. My main argument regarding these “reality” shows is that these people aren’t that good of actors. They aren’t smart enough to fake these performances. I’ve said this about various shows because Sammie and Ronnie deserve Emmy’s for their performances year after year if it’s all fake. These characters act like they dislike each other and that’s a hard thing to fake so accurately. I have made one conclusion that is truth though. I’m fairly certain Brandi was a stripper in past years. The one episode she says “all we found here were stripper singles,” and most people wouldn’t use that expression without some background. I’ve said before that I really feel like this series only has one strong season because the show will start to compromise it’s integrity during the 2nd season for a variety of reasons discussed here. No matter though, whether it’s real or fake, I still bit so call me part of the dumb masses.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:29:39-04:00September 27th, 2011|Tv|15 Comments

Fall’s Openers Fail

I’ve watched 3 season openers this year of series that I usually don’t watch. The Office, Tosh.O, and Workaholics. Let me start off by saying that I thought all 3 were brutally horrible.

Let’s start with the Office. I understand that I’m not an Office die hard and maybe I’m missing some inside jokes, but I maybe cracked a smile once during the episode titled “the list” and that was when Stanley was telling people to shove it up their butt. I want to point out why I think this show is terrible and why morons like it. When Jim tells Dwight to throw him the phone and he speed pitches it at the wall. This isn’t sophisticated humor. This is try to get a laugh by being retarded. Another example of this retarded humor is when the Daryl said “all I got was this soda.” How stupid is that? I really, really, really hope that was an inside joke that I’m not aware of because that is not in the least bit funny. Pam is just the whiniest character who I can’t stand. This is probably the 3rd or 4th episode of the Office I’ve ever seen, and I have no interest to watch any more of this season, or the show.

Tosh.O season opener is beyond bad. This is probably the least funny show, that people think is funny, on Earth in 2011. The clips he shows can’t save the show because even they aren’t funny. He brings on this little black man who reminds me of Beetlejuice from Howard Stern to do some rapping for 5 minutes. It was one of those “feel bad for this guy because he’s really not that retarded and we’re paying him a lot of money for him to perform a shitty song.” I don’t even think that Daniel Tosh is that annoying but the show is just horrible. The one skit where the guy pretends to be the Dr was honestly some of the worst television I’ve watched. Aside from Tosh talking to the students in line format, I thought the show was the biggest waste of 30 minutes and want watch another.

Workaholics was the best show of the 3 but that’s not saying much. I was hesitant to think this show was funny during the first season but it sort of grabbed my attention. The plots were always kind of dumb but the characters were relatively humorous. They had some funny one liners and the chemistry between the 3 lead characters was entertaining. This season opener though was really dumb. With a dumb premise of thinking that their tax money paid for a dinosaur in a park that they decided to steal, it then got re-stolen by some high school kids who then overtook their house and threw a party. A few funny lines was all that carried this episode, my favorite being Adam saying “that was such a Tommy move” when he named the dinosaur Reptar. I still have some hopes for this show but it did not get off to a good start.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:31:09-04:00September 23rd, 2011|Tv|0 Comments

Brandi Passante Mug Shot

I found this picture of a Brandi Lookalike and decided to post it because I get a lot of my traffic from people searching for “Brandi Storage Wars.” I’ve read that she was a stripper in her earlier days and this is a mug shot pic from those days. I don’t think it exactly looks like her but the nose seems to be a match. She is really an attractive girl so it doesn’t really shock me she’d turn to stripping. It always seems like her and Jarrod don’t have a ton of money, plus she has 2 kids, isn’t married and Jarrod says “I was her manager.” I 100% believe that this could be her mug shot and that she was a stripper years ago. What do you think?

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:30:23-04:00September 15th, 2011|Tv|41 Comments

Storage Wars – Fu Dog Day Afternoon & Unlocked part 2

I know I’m 24 hours late on my Wednesday Storage Wars post but I didn’t get a chance to watch it last night. The first episode, “Fu Dog Day Afternoon”, was fairly interesting. Dave buying the locker for 35 dollars with the intention of fixing up the tables was pretty crafty. Notice how quick he is to re-furbish old furniture to bring its true value. The Fu-Dog or whatever it was is just the luck aspect. Barry got caught in a bidding war against Dave and got stuck with a pretty crappy unit. I usually don’t mind Dave but the way he called Barry a sucker was really uncalled for and makes him look like a dick everyone thinks he is. Barry found some lawn mowers, a washer and an old 1950’s TV worth nothing that he paid some guy a thousand bucks(a guess) to turn it into a collectible and help him save face. I think Darrell did a great job bidding against Dave on a unit that had potential. Jarrod is just a step below these two guys on the bidding scale and it showed on this particular locker. Darrell’s good sense paid off when he found some mint condition vinyl player that was worth 1,500 bucks with the speakers. After hearing how enthusiastic the stereo guru was to listen to a vinyl on a mint condition player, I feel like going out and buying some top notch equipment to listen to music the right way. I thought the funniest thing was when Darrell was giving his trade secret of looking at the newspaper to see when the stuff is dated. The unit had a newspaper from 91′ and he was like “that was 20 years ago” and I thought to myself “holy shit, he’s right.” I thought the episode was decent but nothing spectacular, the unlocked section was filled with more tidbits.

I find a few things fascinating about the unlocked episode, mainly what Darrell has on Dave. On one episode Darrell’s son Brandon wore a hat that said “”Newport Consignment Gallery”. The thing was he blacked out some letters for it to say “new con” or something like that and Dave was getting really pissed. I feel like there is something from Dave’s past that Darrell knows and hints at but doesn’t bring it up publicly on the show. It happened again on the unlocked episode when they were talking about dead bodies in Storage Units and Darrell said something about disposing of a dead body and made a remark to Dave. Dave just got real quiet and seemed annoyed. It just is something I picked up on but it might be nothing. I thought the asset discussion with Darrell was neat because Dave asked how many of them have sold 1.7 million dollars worth of goods from lockers. Obviously none of them have and they lack the professionalism Dave has and I think they sort of resent that. I don’t know how much Dave nets like Darrell was asking but anyone who puts 1.7 million dollars of revenue searching out Storage Lockers is taking it pretty serious. I think Jarrod envy’s that to a degree because he’ll eventually want to become what Dave is. To some degree I like hearing about Jarrod’s trials and tribulations because he seems more real to a person who would be trying to break into that industry. That’s why Barry is the weirdest character on the show because he doesn’t want to sell goods. He has plenty of money and just buys units to hopefully find weird collectables. The other characters are all about the money. It sort of makes Barry look like a fool when he gets bid up on a locker because he thinks he sees something in the background and he just paid 1,000 bucks for items he doesn’t want. The Phil Hellmuth aspect of the show was sort of lame. They weren’t asking the right questions with Phil and I’m not sure how much of a fan he is of the show but I feel like he could have provided some good insight if they let him go off on his own. Overall though I like the sit downs from time to time, I just would like to see it be a little more or a therapy session. Why does Jarrod hate Dave and why does Dave have the need to punish the competition? Where is the thrill for Barry to bid on units when he doesn’t need the money? I would ask the producer, is Dave a necessity to the show?

This was the conclusion of the first season and I haven’t been hooked by a show in a long time on network TV. I’ve commented before on the realness of the show and why I like it so much. Dissecting the characters is also a favorite because you get to learn their backgrounds and get some insight on why they make certain decisions. Jarrod might not have enough money for this particular unit and can’t afford to bid properly. Things like that. I think that the show will make the characters too big for A&E to have a season as successful as the first. The characters will start making more money because of the show when compared to the selling of goods. They will become bigger than the show. The bidding won’t be real because they will have too much money. I sort of felt that watching the last episode when it seemed like the characters were singled out on certain lockers and they were just bidding against each other while everyone stood and watched them. Once the concept of money gets tossed out, the show will lose it’s integrity. Still though, I had a great time watching this show and really learned a lot. How to price things, what to look for, what may be valuable. A very worthwhile hour of my time each Wednesday night.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:29:50-04:00September 15th, 2011|Tv|1 Comment

HBO Finales

True Blood – D- – If this series was their first series, this show would never have caught on. They tried really, really hard to make the Sookie, Bill and Eric love triangle dramatic but it just didn’t have the right effect. There was no emotional connection this season like there was in others. The Jason Stackhouse – Jessica plot line just came from nowhere and was pretty dumb. Lafayette and Jesus was just too magic oriented and seemed dumb. Sam’s plot line with Luna and the kid and Marcus wasn’t interesting. Arlene and Terry seems forced in the mix. Basically, I thought there were too many plot lines and they weren’t very good. The story was all over the place with magic, vampires, shifters, werepanthers, werewolves, and pixies. Stick with the vampires and maybe the show will find its roots again. Killing off characters in the finale doesn’t make the finale good either.

Curb Your Enthusiasm – B+ – With only 10 episodes this season, it’s easy to be disappointed. However, I think there were still memorable episodes and this season certainly wasn’t a let down. From the Palestinian Chicken, to LOL Larry, to the Mister Softee, each episode still had it’s own unique storyline. At this point things out of the ordinary happen to generate the story line but you just have to accept that with this show. I always find Larry’s romantic scenes sort of out of place because he’s so goofy but he’s a really funny actor. I thought tonight’s finale was decent with Michael J. Fox. The cameo’s (Rosie, Bill Buckner, Ricky Gervais) throughout the season make this show even better.

Entourage – B – I feel like everyone is always very hard on this show and expects the world. The way they summed it up was pretty well done. The Vince and Sofia marriage story line was rushed and dumb. The E & Sloan being together at the end was predictable but felt right. Turtle being a millionaire and Johnny just sort of being Vince’s brother didn’t have much closure. But let’s face it, Ari & Mrs. Ari steal the show as being the best, most interesting, plot line. The way they depict Ari’s life and how he never has any time to spend with his kids is so typical that it hits home to so many people. Him realizing this and quitting his job and devoting his life back to Mrs. Ari made for a storybook ending. What I liked the most though was the scene after the credits with the CEO giving the company to Ari and basically saying the world is yours. He shows so much sacrifice quitting his job but there is always something bigger out there that can tempt you. Really cool and shows how easy it is for Ari to go back on his words. I thought this show wasn’t fantastic but Ari still salvaged what was right in Entourage. Give him a spin off.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:30:33-04:00September 11th, 2011|Tv|1 Comment

Storage Wars – The Advanced Level of TV

I had this entry in mind when my original plan was to write this entry. If you’ve been reading my blog recently, you’d know I’ve been a fan of the show Storage Wars. I’ve been DVR’ing every episode that I haven’t seen and I’ve probably watched some 20+ in the past few weeks. I feel like I’ve gotten a pretty good understanding of the show and I have my pros and cons that go further than just thinking Brandi is hot. What I meant to explain when I correlated this entry to the entry below is that this show has the element of reality and the next level of “real” TV.

I don’t believe this show is doctored. I believe these characters go to the auctions and engage in live bidding for these lockers. There is nothing false about this. I do think there may be some false valuations on items which is sort of strange but it’s not too far off to ruin the show. When Darrell finds a used set of Callaway golf clubs and says they will fetch 300-400 dollars, I know that can’t be right considering I just bought a brand new set for 400. Without getting sidetracked, the cameras take footage of live action in the auction process and behind the scenes. When Dave Hester is getting steamed at Jarrod, there is a genuine dislike that just can’t be acting. If it is, he deserves an Emmy. This is the kind of programming I like the most. The realness of the show is what I enjoy. However, I like the show even more because of the next level thinking that can only be found because of this reality.

To the first time watcher, this show can still be entertaining. To someone who has watched a ton of episodes, you start to get into the mindset of the characters. This is the key point to this post and why I think this show is awesome. When you understand the backgrounds of each of the characters, you can start to see their thought process behind a locker’s value and than the bidding war is just the most exciting part when their personalities and knowledge collide. Using specific examples, Dave is the professional and most interesting character on the show. When he is involved in the bidding process, if you are bidding against him you have reason to be both concerned and excited. If Dave is bidding on the locker, it means it most likely has some value. Or he could just be bidding you up because he doesn’t like you. So when you put yourself in Dave’s place, it’s always a strategy in how you bid against each character. Dave knows that when he’s up against Jarrod, it’s going to be a back and forth because they dislike each other and he can pretty much own Jarrod. Barry has a load of cash and will spend money if he likes the chances of a collectible. This means that starting a bidding war with him is idiotic because his goal isn’t nickel and diming it for a small profit with material goods. Darrell is the 2nd most knowledgeable character but he seems to lack the balls to back up his intuition. It’s just really interesting to see how they interact with each other in a real life situation. There’s no script and no acting. That’s the best part though because being an outsider watching the show, you don’t know what’s going to happen. Sure you don’t know what’s going to happen watching “reality” tv but if it’s scripted, who really cares, you’re just being played with. This is real. I would be heartbroken to find out that it was fake because this entry would make me look like a buffoon.

I just don’t like fake shows anymore. Why has cops been so successful, live footage. Here’s an idea for a successful show, take Blind Date but make some adjustments. Don’t let the characters know they are being taped for a show. Don’t cut out the awkwardness. People would love to see real interaction among people without them knowing they are being watched. Real conversation, real interaction, real emotion and sincerity. THE INTEGRITY OF THE SHOW IS IN TACT. I really think it would be a hit.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-02T00:11:59-04:00September 7th, 2011|Tv|2 Comments

A brief history of TV, Decade by Decade

When shows are popular, you have to ask “why are they popular”? Good TV has evolved over time. That’s the wonderful thing about the world we live in, things are constantly improving. Society is always trying to make things better and people are attracted to things that are better. I’m going to go through a little TV history and than give my opinion on today’s broadcasting.

50’s

True regular commercial television network programming did not begin in the U.S. until 1948. The most popular shows of the 50’s were I Love Lucy, Dragnet, Gunsmoke, The Bob Hope Show and the 64,000 dollar question<. Tv in this decade was just getting started and I have to admit that I've never seen even the most popular shows (let alone the least popular). The above named shows were your typical sitcoms. Lucy is your family comedy, Dragnet your detective show, Gunsmoke the Western, Bob Hope was the comedic talk show, and the 64,000 Question is the start of game shows on TV. Let's face it, they had the same types of show we are watching today except it was set in the 50's. These shows would probably be fascinating to watch in 2011 and how differently things played out that were set 50+ years ago. However the genres haven't changed much, just updated.

60’s

The 60’s brought about popular shows like The Andy Griffith Show, The Price is Right, The Beverly Hillbillies, Rowan and Martin’s Laughin and Bonanza. Other than the Price is Right, I’ve only seen a few of these shows. Bud’s dad watched Beverly Hillbillies so I’ve seen that a few times. Probably not too much advancement in quality of programming except that color TV was starting to spread in the 1960’s. A huge event for TV in the 60’s was the Beatles appearance on the Ed Sullivan show. It’s worth a watch to understand the hysteria around this event. In the video, the text that appears when they identify the Beatle is so prehistoric it’s comical. Owning a TV was probably a big deal and programming was probably minimal. Meaning that if these were the shows that were being made, these were the shows you were watching. Quality was probably average but it was better than nothing.

70’s

The 70’s most popular programs were All in the Family, 60 Minutes, M*A*S*H, The Jeffersons, Happy Day’s and Laverne and Shirley. The finale of Roots holds the number 3 spot of the most watched shows of all time. A news program enters as one of the highest rated shows along with the same format of sitcoms we are all used to. Back in the 70’s, I get the feeling that there more shows were being produced and the quality was improving. African American programming was also becoming a hit with the Jeffersons, Roots and Sanford and Sons. Not being alive during this period, I have a feeling this had a dramatic cultural effect. More shows were probably available and the quality was improving but I still would think the programming was limited.

80’s

Moving into the 80’s, it’s getting close to when I started watching TV. The most watched shows of the decade were Dallas, 60 Minutes, The Cosby Show, Cheers, Murder She Wrote and Family Ties. I used to watch The Cosby Show regularly and my mom used to make me sit through Murder She Wrote which was a bit over my head as a 5 year old. During the 80’s TV continued to become more widespread and more homes had the ability to afford it. The 1 and 2 most watched shows of all time took place in this decade. The series finale of Mash was watched by more than 100 million people and holds the #1 spot. The series finale of Dallas holds the #2 spot. The thing to note is that there are probably 20 quality shows during this decade that I don’t have time to list like A-Team, Alf, Growing Pains, MacGuyver. Who’s the Boss, Webster. The Super Bowl also routinely became one of the most watched programs each year. Also to note is that Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune were re-invented during this decade.

90’s

The decade of the most TV watching of my life. From ages 7-17, I watched a ton of TV. The most popular shows were Seinfeld, Home Improvement, the Simpsons, Full House, Friends, ER and Frazier. Other less popular shows were The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Family Matters, Step by Step, Married with Children, Saved by the Bell and Wonder Years. Who Wants to be a Millionaire was the most popular program in 1999 and it re-introduced the game show’s popularity. A couple of shows like Greed and The Chair tried to capitalize but never panned out. Notice though that most of these shows are all just sitcoms. We hadn’t hit reality TV yet and this was the last time period when sitcoms ruled. I think the programming was still halfway decent though and the 90’s produced a lot of memorable shows.

00’s

Let’s thank Survivor for Reality TV. Now let’s understand something during this fabulous decade, this is very close to scripted “reality” TV. The actual reality TV that has ruled this decade is American Idol. American Idol holds the most watched program for the past 7 years. People like watching real people doing real things. This sparked tons of other shows like Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, cooking shows, police shows…the list goes on. HBO & Showtime also broke into this decade with some of the best programming of all time with hits like the Wire, the Sopranos, and Dexter. Because people paid for the subscription, they had the advantage of making their shows even more “real” because they weren’t restricted by what the network was allowed to show. This was a huge advance in what people saw on TV. No more censorship led to better television. These two concepts, reality TV and the ability to show unrestricted television, set this decade apart from the rest. Now “real” reality TV is the next step to where better TV can still go. Show’s like the Real World and Jersey Shore are still entertaining but there isn’t any real feature to them anymore. It’s just sort of real. The shows that will take it to the next level will be really real. The market is inflated with tons of shows to watch nowadays and the concept of fake reality is all over. Real reality, without the influence of producers and the forced story lines, will win for the next decade. The cable networks series will continue to thrive as well.

I sort of got carried away with this entry and am not really sure how this took shape. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed the history of TV shows and if you read through this and found it interesting, a quick comment saying you enjoyed the read would be appreciated. If I wasted your time, that’s ok too.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-02T00:11:36-04:00September 7th, 2011|Tv|1 Comment

Storage Wars – Bowling for Dollars & Unlocked

New episodes of Storage Wars aired tonight 8.31.11. It started off with my favorite characters in conflict. Dave Hester and Jarrod were squaring off in actual “real” reality tv. Jarrod was being immature and Dave got all up in his grill and basically told him not to fuck around with him while he was working. Dave’s actions were completely warranted because Jarrod thinks he can act however he wants and Dave pretty much put him in his place. What I disliked the most was Jarrod’s attitude to not say “I’m sorry” and acted like a tough guy looking to throw down. It was all good TV and just made me respect Dave more and Jarrod less. Brandi was looking good by the way.

This episode was pretty interesting in the bidding process. The animosity between Dave and Jarrod was apparent and neither wanted to let the other have the locker. They both sort of got the best of each other in the end. Plus it’s so obvious that Jarrod is the amateur, he’s starting to carry a flashlight around like Dave now. Barry is still hilarious expecting to find these hidden treasures in the random spaces of lockers. Darrell is actually starting to grow on me a bit because he does possess some knowledge. Dave thinking he got a million dollar violin was pretty funny when the cold hard truth was it was 100 bucks. The best part of tonight’s episode was the Unlocked portion though.

A few random things I picked up on:

You can still tell that Dave and Jarrod hate each other.

Brandi and Jarrod aren’t married but have two kids.

Everyone thinks Dave is an asshole which makes me like him more because he is the show. He makes the other characters better.

The characters get outbid on 20-30 lockers but they only show the ones they win. Also they buy plenty of lockers that have nothing in them but that never gets aired as well.

The new show in Texas will flop. The characters suck. This show will stop being popular in 1-2 years.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-02T00:11:47-04:00August 31st, 2011|Tv|0 Comments

TV Time

I watched a lot of TV yesterday. More TV than the healthy dosage. I woke up at 10:30 or so after not going out because of the hurricane. I probably started my dad at 11 or so and kicked it off with The Sopranos. For the entire day, I probably watched about 5 Soprano’s episodes. I’m on episode 71 and only have 14 episodes of the entire series left. I’ll have a whole big write up after I finish. I also watched the two Jersey Shore episodes where the Situation knocked himself out in a hyped up total let down episode from MTV. I watched the American Ninja Warrior 2 hour finale where 10 competitors tried to beat Mt Midoriyama. 4 got to stage 3 and all 4 lost on the cliff hanger in another anti-climatic viewing. After that I sat there and watched True Blood, Curb, and Entourage. True Blood has lost me, Curb was good as usual and Entourage really needs to just end. Bobby Flay did call Mrs. Ari Melissa though which was different. I’m going to watch the next episode on HBOGo tonight. I did manage to go for a run but it was pretty much a waste of a day. Nevertheless, I’m almost done with my TV watching and hopefully will get more active after 14 more episodes of the Sopranos. Nothing else though other than that.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:34:57-04:00August 29th, 2011|Tv|0 Comments

Storage Wars Characters – Further Observation

A more general opinion on these characters is found in this previous post.
Dave Hester – He’s become my favorite character. He seems to be the most knowledgeable and the best at the bidding process. He doesn’t bid until the end to see how serious the other bidders are. If a guy started the bid at 100 and it’s up to 1,000 and he’s still bidding, Dave has an idea what he’s dealing with and he haven’t given away any of his own bidding agenda. His attitude is also professional and he has an eye for spotting valuable merchandise. Easily the smartest character on the show and shows it episode after episode with big profits. A good example was when he was bidding on the boxes from China. There were about a 100 boxes in there and he figured to ship that amount of goods cost 4-5 thousand bucks. No one is spending that much money to ship unless there is merchandise worth value. He spent 9k for the locker and it turned out to be 20k of profit. I especially liked how he shot down Mark in the bidding process. Mark is used to upping it 100 bucks or so but when Dave started boosting it a grand at a time, he backed down quickly. He almost makes the show unfair as only Barry really has a shot against him and that’s just by getting lucky.

Jarrod and Brandi – Dumb luck is the key to their success. They just seem to get lucky with certain purchases. I’ve already wrote that they benefit the most from being on the show so it doesn’t really matter how successful they are bidding on lockers. Brandi will probably be offered to do a porno for tens of thousands of dollars which would be easy money and publicity. They are good for the show though because they bring some personality.

Barry – He’s obviously worth millions of dollars. He has new cars on every episode and doesn’t really care about selling the small goods. He’s looking for antiques and collectables that are worth thousands of dollars. This causes him to bid on a lot of mystery. He’ll see a hole in the wall or a locked trunk and start bidding up the locker because of the possibility of something good. He’s good for the show because he is willing to spend money if he starts getting curious.

Darrell – Easily the worst character. He seems to have decent knowledge but he’s too much of a cheapskate and doesn’t have any balls. His personality is that of a big, dumb oaf. I have a hard time taking him seriously with that weird tan.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:38:51-04:00August 24th, 2011|Tv|0 Comments