We Don't Walk Slow

Six Feet Under Quotes

I write down a few lines from Six Feet Under when I find them more important than your average thought. Food for thought. I googled “food for thought” just to make sure I was using it correctly and its first definition is “intellectual nourishment.” Which means I am.

“What makes you think people stay together because it makes them happy?” I think this is pretty common that people just stay together because they’ve been together and they’d prefer not to go through the finding someone process again. Or that they’d rather have anyone compared to being alone. This doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me but I’m sure it’s out there.

“If he were a careful man he might have lived longer, but would he have enjoyed it as much?” This one hit me true because I know I could live a straight life and forgo the “sins” of life that provide entertainment and are bad for you. This particular quote came from an episode about a biker who passed on who’s motto was to live every day like it was your last. Sadly I don’t do this.

“A soulmate is the person who makes you the most you could possibly be.” I don’t think I could find a better definition of the term. I’m not sure if everyone has a soulmate (my inclination is no) but finding someone who makes you better and forces your soul to grow the most is what comes to mind when I think about a “soulmate”.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:49:22-04:00December 13th, 2011|Tv|0 Comments

New Storage Wars 12/6/11

The first thing I notice is the absurdity of the bidding process. There are hundreds of people in the auction yet only the main characters are bidding on the lockers. They even throw in this one random guy to bid twice to disguise this fact that only the leads are going to win this locker. The valuation that everyone complains about is still apparent. When Dave says “here’s some networking equipment, that will be a couple hundred dollars,” I thought that it looked like two dumpy routers that I’d throw in the trash. I also can’t find any reason to root for Jarrod and Brandi. I really wanted to see them fail and the fact they got lucky with some random coins was annoying. Darrell is such a dope with that humidor that it really does prove any idiot can win these things. Dave breaking the piece was pretty funny but it looked like a piece of shit anyhow. The show is starting to feel generic.

The second episode was a new bunch of characters staged in Texas. One word, flop. Absolutely horrible characters and the show seems like it’s moving in slow motion. The female, Lesa, is a hideous hag who described her partner as an “employee”. If you watched the episode you’d see why this is amusing. Victor seems like a complete moron who takes it personally when people bid against him. Moe is a second rate Barry who says “fabulous” and the fat guys seem like they are on the show because they are fat. You will not see me reviewing this show.

By Tom Stortz|2013-03-15T03:30:07-04:00December 6th, 2011|Tv|0 Comments

Why I Still Love Brandi Passante

With previous posts displaying her hotness here, I’m going into one more explanation. This isn’t really her best picture but it explains why I like her look. First off she has a full rack which I like. The chest then accentuates her flat stomach. That look of big boobs and flat stomach is a great combination. The skirt kind of makes me things she’s hiding something under there but for the sake of argument we’ll say she’s not. That hair color is my absolute favorite. I like the blonde look and the brown highlights give her some authenticity that she’s not a bimbo. The hot sunglasses complete the look. Plus she knows she’s hot which makes her even more attractive. Here’s one more picture that should display her stripping past and why she looks as good as she does.

The tattoos on her feet scream stripper. That dress is knockout though. Nice hips, tight stomach, nice tits, hourglass figure, hot ass female. Stripper or not, she’s made a name for herself and I’d hit it any day of the week.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:21:41-04:00November 29th, 2011|Tv|9 Comments

Fake Storage Wars loses its luster

After watching Tuesday’s episodes I’ve come to the conclusion that the show is not what it once was. Previously I’ve given reasons for why the show is fake but this is a new feeling. I dislike how things have a set-up feel to them. Barry finding that magicians head trick was such an act. The producers decided to throw that trick into a locker so that they could use the magicians store scene as filler for the show. It’s hokey. They first do a trick where they make Barry’s car disappear and then he has to open the door with a magic word. Also the telescope was strange too. Barry bids on a locker, wins it and then decides to sell it to Darrell at a loss? Darrell amazingly sees this bronze piece which the camera was sure to focus in on while the unit was selling. The bronze piece turns out to be a telescope and there just happens to be one store that specializes in telescopes. Unless that guy is willing to buy it, I’m pretty sure he’s not getting hundreds of dollars for it.

I’m really not trying to rag on the show because it’s technically where most of my traffic comes from. Well actually it’s not the show so much as people googling “Storage Wars Fake” and “Brandi Passante Stripper” but I have to tell it like it is. Reality to me has always been what I like to watch. The first few episodes made me feel this way. This new season seems to me like they are trying too hard to “make a show.” This is where I think the producers are missing the point. They are trying to entertain but what they don’t realize is that the reality is the entertainment. Not Barry visiting a magic store. The live bidding, they untapped lockers, the fights between characters. I’m not sure if it got lost or what but something seems amiss.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:49:55-04:00November 24th, 2011|Tv|2 Comments

New Storage War Episodes 11/15/11

I’m watching the brand new Storage Wars episode, Driving Miss Barry, and the show has changed. Brandi just spent $6,750 dollars on a locker. Season 1 Brandi could have never spent that much money. She (and the rest of the cast) obviously were making mad money while filming this new season doing something (like signing a contract). Like I’ve written in previous posts, them becoming popular and making more money is going to change the dynamic of the show. She is looking phenomenal though. Tight stomach, pretty face and a full rack. She was wearing this great tank top too to accentuate her assets. I noticed the crowd was also bigger too for the auction but I still can’t figure out why the cast are the only people who seem like they are bidding on certain units. It’s like the outsiders are told not to get in the way of the bidding process for certain units, thus ruining the realism. The Barry part with his mother was pretty lame and I thought the bidding action wasn’t great either. Plus Barry says “my men will take care of this while I check this out.” Barry has men now? This episode wasn’t exactly knocking my socks off.

The second episode Winner Winner Chicken Dinner makes one thing abundantly clear, the show needs Dave Hester. Brandon and Darrell can’t carry a show and Brandi and Jarrod just seem like they are trying too hard to take over as the new big dogs. Dave Hester would have never let what happened happen. Their back and forth bidding was sort of stupid for one simple reason, money isn’t important to them anymore. I swear in the first few episodes Brandi and Jarrod couldn’t afford to lose. Now they don’t look at money the same way and it shows in their attitudes and bidding strategies. If they lose, they lose, they can afford it. It takes the show down a notch because the realism is gone. I still find the items interesting but I can’t help but get the feeling they are finding these items on purpose. The main problem though, THE CHARACTERS HAVE LOST THEIR IDENTITIES. They’ve turned regular folk into stars and the show is paying the price. Still watchable, but I can’t find the same enthusiasm I did when I first started. Now I just wonder if the first shows lockers were staged?

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:53:08-04:00November 15th, 2011|Tv|0 Comments

Best Characters from a TV Series

After listing my top 5 HBO characters, I decided to add a few to a list that wasn’t so confining. Here are 5 more that span cable as well as subscription channels.

Anders Holmvick – Workaholics

If you aren’t familiar with Anders, this is a good time to get acquainted. Anders is the “leader” of the gang on Workaholics which airs at 10:30 Tuesdays on Comedy Central. Anders is the self proclaimed leader of Adam and Blake and rightfully so. He is the most grounded of the group (not saying much) and has the ability to unleash “the Ders.” Anders seems like a hard worker but has a tendency to get sucked into whatever dumbass scheme Adam and Blake are caught up in. He’s extremely difficult to take seriously but always acts serious. Ders can also be combined with other words to make great nicknames like Blonders, Shaunders and Dersatello. Let’s not forget his love to buck. I actually find Adam hilarious too but the show wouldn’t be the same without “the Ders.” His “let’s see how close we can get without kissing” is memorable.

Ruxin – The League

I had a really tough choice between Ruxin and Andre but I felt Ruxin earns it by a tad. Ruxin is played by Nick Kroll and he is starting to pop up in more movies so keep a look out. Ruxin plays a Jew lawyer in the League and is always making sure he gets the best of the sitiuaton. He has a smoking hot wife which he is always mentioning and “baby” Jeffrey whose name makes me laugh every time I hear it. I thought the scene where they were explaining that he didn’t know the power of his sarcasm was funny because every sentence he says could be construed that way. I feel like he carries the show which airs at 10:30 on FX. I’m not saying I don’t like Kevin, Pete or Jenny but without Ruxin (and Andre), I don’t think it would be as big of a hit.

Tyrion – Game of Thrones

Since I’m just about done the 5th book of this series, I’m a bit biased towards Tyrion. If I was just going off of the first season of Game of Thrones, I’m not sure I’d have him up here. Nevertheless, I’ve read the books and his chapters are my favorites. The actor is played by Peter Dinklage and he does a phenomenal job in the series but his acting days are far from over with this character. Why do I like him so? He’s intelligent. He’s always using his wits and it shows in just about every sentence he speaks. Not to mention he’s handicapped as a dwarf born into one of the wealthiest, most powerful family’s so it’s interesting to hear his take on the world. I’m excited for the 2nd season of Game of Thrones to see how HBO portrays him as it continues.

Brenda – 6 Feet Under

This isn’t really fair because I’m only 10 or so episodes into the series but it’s my blog and I’ll do as I want to. I like, actually hate, this character for the same reason I liked Tyrion, they make her smart. With her 180 IQ, you know that the directors are putting thought behind every one of her moves. With characters like these they make you think why they are acting like they do. I personally find myself wanting Nate to beat Brenda with a bat but I’ll hold my judgement until I finish the series. I think the phrase “love to hate her” might fit.

Arnold Rothstein – Boardwalk Empire

Arnold is played by Michael Stuhlbarg and I love every scene with Rothstein. Boardwalk can be a slow show and I find myself not relating to the the characters. I watch the show just because I’ve been watching it. I don’t know if I’m entertained or not but I just keep watching it because I have nothing better to do. Nucky and Margaret isn’t wild, Jimmy with Al Capone and the crew is ok, and all the politics is interesting but the pace moves like a glacier in the arctic. For some reason though I find Arnold’s scenes fascinating because he’s a thinking character. He’s based off of Arnold Rothstein in real life who was behind the rigging of the World Series in 1919. He’s a gambling man who is always looking for an edge. I thought his quote last night was genius:
AR – “Do Nothing. When you have no move, Mr Thompson, you do nothing.”
JT -“He’s under attack.”
AR – “All the more reason patience. I’ve made my living in a large part as a gambler. Some days I make 20 bets, some days none. There are weeks, sometimes months where I don’t make a bet at all simply because there is no play. So I wait, plan, marshal my resources. When I finally see an opportunity and there is a bet to make, I bet it all.

I was going to pick Dexter but I find it better to pick someone other than the main character. Let me know if I’m missing anyone on any good shows out there.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:51:47-04:00November 14th, 2011|Tv|2 Comments

6 Feet Under Points

I’ve been watching 6 feet under which is a very smart show. I write some things down every so often that I pick up throughout each episode and finally have enough to create and entire post. Here are some things I’ve learned.

You are supposed to flip your mattress every 14 weeks. I think it’s been about 5 years since I’ve flipped mine so I’m a bit overdue.
David was shown in a scene brushing his tongue which is something I’m aware of but never do. I feel like the brush on my tongue makes me want to gag and vomit.
On a hardback novel, Nate used the book jacket to mark his page. I’ve never used a book mark and just turn the corner of the page I’m on down. I’ve never even though of using the book jacket.
Dead people need to be embalmed so they don’t rot. Sort of common sense but I wasn’t really aware of the process and didn’t know it was called embalming.
“One things is certain, everything changes.” I just liked the quote.That was what I got through 7 episodes so I’m sure I’ll post more because I find it interesting.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:52:38-04:00November 13th, 2011|Tv|1 Comment

No they don’t

Brookes lent me the first season of the 6 Feet Under the HBO series and I’ve just started watching. In episode 3 when David and his mom are talking about a major corporation takeover of their small funeral home she says “things will work out, they always do.” David replies “no, they don’t,” end scene. I tried Youtubing the clip but it’s a 15 second segment of episode 3 and not exactly a crucial moment to the the show so you can’t find it. About 5:40 of episode 3 if you have HBOGo. Yes Brookes, I’m using HBOGo instead of the DVD’s and this isn’t a sleight. It’s because I don’t like going through the DVD process. The menus bother me and the physical process of changing discs has made me stop watching DVD’s. It’s sort of bizarre because I’d imagine the quality is better than HBOGo, but Go is far from bad and it doesn’t really bother me, plus it’s always at my fingertips. Let’s not get off point here because if you didn’t lend the DVD’s, I wouldn’t have started watching it. I’ve gotten carried away from my main point of the post. The reason I thought that sequence was funny was because it’s such a mom thing to say to try to make her son feel better, but possibly not the most practical advice. The statement can be taken as a God believing mentality that in your life, God will make everything work out. How else could it “always” happen. It’s just a weird word to say taken literally. I just wonder if people really think that everything will always work out and that’s how they go through life. It’s a really positive way to live and I think that might be “God” aiding them when things do work out. I put the God in quotes because even if there is no God, this mentality has a greater chance of success because you think it’s going happen. There’s this book “The Secret” where the secret is that if you want to do something, make it happen. People are attracted to you because you are trying to make it happen. David’s answer is the I’m living in the real world and I have to prepare for what probably can happen. David saying that this won’t work is his cynical side, thus non believing in a higher power. Now this is only the 3rd episode so I’m not really sure what religious beliefs these characters have but I still think it’s an interesting exercise. It relates to real life because this planet has had its share of hostile takeovers and the people involved really do get forced into doing it. It’s neat how you can use a series like this to display this scenario. I know I bounced around a lot her but I think this post still had some meaning even if you didn’t see the scene.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:57:37-04:00November 9th, 2011|Tv|0 Comments

How to Make it in America

There’s a show on HBO called “How to Make it in America” that I find pretty good. I actually find this season to be lackluster but the first season was good. They did have a great scene though between Ben and his current GF where the GF seems upset and Ben asks her what’s wrong. She says that its another guy and that this other guy says that he really wants to be with her. Like REALLY wants to be with her. So she asked Ben what he wanted to do? He didn’t have the same balls to wall feelings for her and they ended up separating. I just thought this scene was interesting because I’ve never been the guy who REALLY wants to be with a girl and would do anything to make that happen even if she’s with another guy. I just take relationships like “well if it happens it happens.” I guess I just saw this scene as the girl is in a situation that even if she did prefer Ben’s company more, the other guy wants her more and she’s better off with someone who will treat her better. It showed me that desiring someone is probably 95% of the battle in finding a relationship. This whole, I’m gonna meet someone by chance isn’t going to happen, if you want it, you make it happen. I probably took way more out of this scene than the average viewer but that’s why I have a blog and the average viewer doesn’t. Also I think Ben is the strangest pick for a lead role because he is sort of a bland jew but it works out well. Anyone else watch this show?

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:54:46-04:00October 21st, 2011|Tv|0 Comments

The dilution of a TV series

It’s a sad day when a good TV series goes bad. It happens all the time and for various reasons. The most obvious thing is that once a new show is “good” or even “great”, it sets the bar for the following seasons. Ideally a show would want to be average and continue to improve but more often than not, no body watches an average TV show. So basically the shows that make it all start out good, hit their peak, and then descent down to nearly unwatchable. Once a show has been good for 4-5 years, there is no incentive to end at the height of the show. It’s a money maker and creators will milk it for what it’s worth. Starting from scratch is insane. Aside from The Wire, which quit after 5 awesome seasons, I have 4 shows that I think fall into this category.

The Simpsons

The first Simpsons episode aired in 1989 and has been continuing for 22+ years. This is unheard of. This is the longest running American sitcom. With 488 episodes, this will be my number one candidate for a show that has diluted itself into oblivion. Is this show still good? I honestly don’t know. I stopped watching 10 years ago when I felt the episodes declined into mediocrity. The ratings describe this as well. In 1990, the Simpsons drew 13.4 million households. In 1999, that total using the same metrics declined to 8.2 million. In 2000, there was a switch to actual viewers and that boosted ratings to 14.7 million viewers (which I suspect is comparable to the 8.2 million households.) In 2011, that number is down to 7.3 million actual viewers (probably half that in households.) The show has been on a decline and I assume they just continue making it because it’s the Simpsons and it can be put in history books no matter how shitty it becomes. No one will forget Mr Plow, Don Mattingly’s sideburns, Lisa needing braces, or who shot Mr. Burns, but no one will remember any episode after the year 2000.

Entourage

Who wasn’t fascinated with a look into Hollywood movie star Vinny Chase, his agent Ari and his amusing gang of friends in 2004. This show gave your everyday TV viewer a glimpse into Hollywood. Plot lines were simple with Vince’s attempt to be famous, E and director Billy Walsh’s conflicts, and Ari’s job trying to keep Vince out of trouble. The Aquaman season that brought Vince to fame and all the cool things that success brought was the height of the show. The Medeillin plot line in the 4th season is when things started to turn. The 5th season brought about Smoke Jumper, a movie with Vince as a firefighter, and a terrible decision to bring Turtle into a major plot line with a relationship with Jamie Lynn Sigler. If they would have made an epic 5th season and quit, this show would go down as greatness. Instead the 6th season is complete trash. Vince is out of the action, Turtle is in college, Drama on a TV show and E dating a girl (Ashley) other than Sloan was complete boredom. 7 was an interesting idea bringing Vince’s demise with pornstar Sasha Gray and 8 trying to save his career. The show, running only 22 minutes each episode, brought a show of celebrities and money that most people never have seen before. It was really entertaining even though the plot lines started to fade but this show was about 3 seasons too long. Stopping at the height of success isn’t easy.

Weeds

I can’t remember a show I was captivated by like Weeds. For 3 straight days I caught up and watched the first 3 seasons. A series about drug dealing, on Showtime, was a show that went that extra step with creative plot lines and a hilarious group of characters. The chemistry worked between Nancy and Andy, the family was dysfunctional enough to relate to and Agrestic was the perfect setting for a drug dealing female named Nancy Botwin. The series has been ongoing for 87 episodes which is more than it should have. The beginning seasons with Nancy and her rising role in the pot dealing was awesome. Nancy sleeping with the DEA agent at the end of season 1 made for the best season of the series in 2. The last episode of 2 with U-Turn, the Armenians and everyone else pointing a gun at Nancy in a room made for an unforgettable cliffhanger. I read the synopsis of 3 and nothing really rings a bell. I remember being interested but this show started fading. Season 4 with Esteban and the hole to Mexico is when it should have stopped. 5 is a pregnant Nancy dealing with Esteban. 6 was the worst season with Botwin family on the run and this 7th season was forgettable. I believe season 2 was the height of weeds. I seriously hope there isn’t an 8th season even though they had a Soprano-esque ending in season 7.

24

This was another series I caught up on in a matter of weeks. After watching the first season, I was hooked. After the 4th season, I was saying what the heck. The same plot line kept occurring. Someone was trying to blow up the world, there was a mole in CSI, and Jack Bauer would save the day. Season 3 was my favorite with the Salazar brothers. Jack’s heroin addiction, Kim and the Mountain Lion, Chloe’s constant annoyance and Jack falling for a female were enthralling. The hour by hour concept was also what made this show such a hit. It had never been done before and the shows attention to detail was unreal. However, once David Palmer went down and Wayne took over, I think the show should have quit. FEMALE President Taylor should have never happened. This show was as addicting as any show of all time. I still have great respect for this show but the last few seasons were just not as good. I have a feeling Kim Bauer should have taken the lead.

By Tom Stortz|2013-03-15T03:30:33-04:00October 4th, 2011|Tv|2 Comments