We Don't Walk Slow

The Troy Merritt Bender

Troy Merritt won me $80 dollars last week by winning the Quicken Loans National tournament by 3 strokes over Rickie Fowler. He was a bit of a long shot (8-1 on day 4 while leading) and this is because he had missed five straight cuts prior to his victory. A victory earned him more than $1.2 million, an invite to the Masters and a set of other Tour perks and exemptions. One of the those perks was playing at the WGC Bridgestone this week. What did Merritt do in his first round back? He shot an 82. This was the worst score of the day. By 5 strokes.

“I’m still just riding the high, coming off the win and built a lot of confidence. The body physically isn’t quite back to where I’d like it after the long week, but it will get there soon.” – Troy Merritt

Took care of 2 firsts the past 2 weeks – got my first win and shot my first round in the 80s on Tour. Golf is a funny game…

— Troy Merritt (@TROYMERRITT_PGA) August 6, 2015

“I just haven’t slept very well,” Merritt said about the last few days. “It’s been a long couple of days answering all the messages and hearing and seeing the outpouring of all the well wishes from friends, families, fans. I’ve answered a bunch of messages, as many as I can, and it’s been a lot of fun reliving it now and realizing that we’re PGA Tour champions. We’ve won on the PGA Tour. Just looking forward to what’s going to come next.”

C’mon Troy. You partied your ass off. You accomplished a feat that sets you up for life.

Show up. Shoot an 82. Go home. Repeat.

By Tom Stortz|2015-08-07T09:54:38-04:00August 7th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Quicken Loans National – Betting on the PGA

I woke up today and immediately thought to bet on Rickie Fowler. I watched yesterday and his iron game was so strong that he could have gone way lower if he was making 15ft putts. Of coursed he did do this.

70 feet. Tracking the entire time. Wow. Good on you, Rickie Fowler. #QuickHits http://t.co/CIUXCoUcYc

— PGA TOUR (@PGATOUR) August 1, 2015

He’s the obvious choice for today but the oddsmakers also know this as he going off at +200. Those odds don’t excite me.

He’s also the best at these two stats which don’t mean much.

Troy Merritt shot a 61 yesterday and is going off at 8-1. He is remarkably average but a good putter.

The more I’ve researched this, the more difficult it gets to put any money down. Justin Rose is attractive at +900 but he is 3 back and that’s a lot of strokes if one of the guys at -13 plays well. All that being said, I’m taking $50 dollars and putting it on Rickie Fowler and $10 dollars on Troy Merritt.

By Tom Stortz|2015-08-02T11:50:39-04:00August 2nd, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

My Take On Deflate Gate

-Tom Brady purposely played with deflated balls against the Colts and whooped them.
-All evidence supports Tom Brady knew about the balls.
-The Patriots won the Superbowl without deflated balls.
-Now, both the NFL and the Patriots know exactly what happened.
-Light bulb. What happened was good for both parties. $$$$
-Both parties had to act like it was bad for both parties.
-3 game suspension for Brady.
-Appeal.
-Wait. This suspense (notice suspension) is building if Brady doesn’t play and we can get more ratings when he returns (most likely 2 games later).

Deflategate happened. Tom Brady knew that playing with a soft football leads to more catches and is easier to throw. He couldn’t miss. Believe it or not, I think everything backfired because they didn’t even need deflated balls for 2 reasons 1) Andrew Luck sucked. 2) LeGarette Blount ran for 148 yards and 3 TD’s. Another scandal, another season. #freebrady

By Tom Stortz|2015-07-24T01:43:13-04:00July 24th, 2015|Sports|1 Comment

Louie Left Me Heartbroken

This is what it should have looked like in 2015

I’m not an emotional person but this is the most depressed after a sporting event that I’ve ever been. I invested 5 days watching the Open and left with the saddest taste in my mouth when Louie lost to Zack Johnson in a 4 hole playoff. Not only did I have money riding on Louie, but a 1st place by him would have (most likely) cashed my DraftKings squad instead of getting 43,000 place. I can’t even express how much it sucks when you ride a golfer as hard as I ride Louie and have him break your heart. Same result at the Open too when he was on fire and lost by a stroke.

His rapport with Dunne shows how great of a guy he is. Plus his play was outstanding. Huge save on 16. Clutch hole on 17. Birdied 18 to get to the playoff. Then on the 3rd hole he missed a 6 footer and that was that. He had a chance on 18 but 17 was where he lost. This guy is my boy. Let’s remember better times.

By Tom Stortz|2015-07-20T16:24:01-04:00July 20th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Depositing Into Draft Kings

Yesterday I took the plunge and put $100 into DraftKings to receive a $100 bonus. Normally I’d take more advantage of a bonus but I’m trying to do a better job at losing my money at a slower bleed rate.

I’ve been playing Fanduel for a few years and this is the first year I’ll give DraftKings a shot. I look at it as having accounts on Stars, Party, and Full Tilt. If you’ve never heard of these companies, you don’t play fantasy sports. Consumers have gravitated towards daily tournaments over season long leagues (which millions still do) because of the following reasons:

Action – games begin and end on a daily basis. Players crave action.
More donks, less sharks – This is turning as more professionals are trying to make a living at daily leagues. However, early on in these leagues, fish are everywhere ready to burn their bank account.
It’s addictive and feels like the lottery. One lucky break in a big tournament and you can cash for tens or hundreds of thousands, even a million bucks.

The Daily Fantasy Sports Landscape

Yahoo has entered the daily games which is a major step towards revenue. A few years ago they got into allowing customers to play season long money leagues, now they are ready to allow daily leagues. This is a smart decision but a bit too late as they are already trailing the leaders, Fanduel and Draft Kings.

Fanduel raised $275 million recently and has a post money valuation of $1.275 billion. They had $57 million in revenue in 2014 with 1.1 million paid, active users.

Draftkings raised $126 million and is valued at more than $1 billion. They had $30 million in revenue and 414,000 active users. A huge benefit is that they struck a deal with ESPN that allows it to advertise exclusively through 2016.

Why I Deposited in Draft Kings

The British Open is this week and I want some action. I’ve been following the golf closer this year than I have in the past and my theory is that hot golfers are the place to put your money. Here is the team I assembled with the idea of swapping Louie into the mix.

I read an article in the Journal today about Jordan Spieth and how good of a putter he is. Here are the stats:

On average this year, when Spieth misses his first putt, the ball comes to rest just 23 inches from the hole.
He has 3 putted only 1.82% of holes played this year.
Relative to this competitors, his putting insides 20 feet is pedestrian, but from anywhere beyond that, he puts the ball in the hole nearly 14% of the time.
McCormick, who works with elite golfers at various levels, has given Spieth tests that can quantify a player’s green reading aptitude and said Spieth scores in “the 99.9th percentile.”
A tidbit at the US open that Spieth won on a Dustin Johnson miss. They both had a putt of similar lengths for eagle, DJ missed his by 4 feet, Spieth 7 inches. How to be a champ.

To go along with Spieth I added:

Danny Lee – Won the White Brier and was 1 back of Speith in the John Deere. From New Zealand and a flier.

Lee Westwood – Shee says he’s the best golfer never to win a major. Most likely will be swapped out.

Kevin Na – Not great win stats recently but making 16 of 19 cuts is admirable.

Rickie Fowler – Won the Scottish Open and has sick results in majors.

Kevin Kisner – 4 top 10 finishes in his last 7 tournaments. Value city.

By Tom Stortz|2015-07-15T10:04:08-04:00July 15th, 2015|Sports|1 Comment

Phil’s Tavern Quarter Marathon

On Friday night I took it easy drinking a total of 2 beers the entire night. I hung out with Evan, Adam, Baker, Jkash, and Amber while we visited a bar or two and it wasn’t that hard not drinking. I left at around 10:45pm to JKash telling me that if I didn’t get top 5 in the race, don’t bother talking to him again. He also gave me the good advice to “just run faster”.

I slept at my parents house which is only a few minutes away from the race. I woke up at 6:30 am, drank a quarter cup of coffee which was the perfect amount to cause a stir in my system and eliminate all waste. I showered after that and felt pretty good. I didn’t eat anything which I am still undecided on how smart that was.

I did some minor warm up but I’m not a big proponent of doing much running prior to running as fast as you can in a race type atmosphere. There were 400+ participants and I lined up near the front. The race got off and I started slow. At the first mile I pushed myself into 3rd place with 1 and 2 being younger high school kids who I had no chance of beating. At the 2nd mile a guy overtook me for 3rd and me and this other bro were running together. We got to mile 5 when another guy came up from behind and pressed forward. I was in 5th with 600 yards to go and felt pretty strong as I kept accelerating. It wasn’t meant to be though as I got nipped at the line. After I finished I immediately puked which I can’t think of ever doing before. It was white acid but it had to be done. Sorry Jkash.

My only cameo is at 1:19. The quarter marathon distance is also pretty dumb but more on that for another time.

AARC presents: Phils Tavern Quarter Marathon from Brett Rogowski on Vimeo.

The only other highlights from the weekend came from beating Sam in mini-golf in dramatic fashion on the last ball rotation. Here’s the scorecard.

I also won $600 dollars from a slot machine which is virtually unheard of. I was down $200 from playing Pai-Gow and Craps (thanks to the Shee for teaching me how to play) and decided to put 5 bucks into a machine for 1 spin because why the hell not. The first $5 turned into $40 which should have been enough to quit but Shee said, “you got a hot machine.” I max spun about 5 more times and hit a jackpot for $600 which put me up $300+ for the trip. The Valley Forge pool isn’t too bad for what it’s worth.

By Tom Stortz|2016-06-29T15:35:02-04:00July 13th, 2015|Running|1 Comment

Top 10 NFL Players of 2015

“Sorry, Tom. I’m better than you.”
“Fuck you.”

This is a list compiled exclusively by the players who by all accounts should know more than people watching because they feel how a player changes the game, where as we only get to witness it. Nevertheless, I have opinions on this list because I’m a fan of the game.

Top 10 NFL Players

Doubt that’s the only pussy he gets.

10. Rob Gronkowski – Too low. Gronk is a top 5 player in the league. Obviously injury prone but an absolute beast at 6-6, 265 lbs. His 4.68 40 speed would have been 4th fastest among TE’s at the combine last year. HE’S UNCOVERABLE. Remember in 2011, Gronk went for 1,327 yards and 17 tds which are great WR #’s, not TE. Last year he was 1,124 and 12 tds playing 15 games. He’s that head and shoulders above everyone else at TE. Absolute monster.

I see it.

9. Marshawn Lynch – Too high. Marshawn is unstoppable when he’s running motivated but he’s a head case. He’s ran for over 1,200 yards the last 5 years with over a 4.0 avg so the consistency is there but he doesn’t catch passes. He had 37 receptions last year. Matt Forte had 102. He’s a top red-zone back, but not the 2nd best in the league as this list suggests.

AB punts punter.

8. Antonio Brown – Awesome player. AB led the league in targets last year with 181 and receptions with 129 (2nd was 111). He averaged over 100 yards a game and even returned a kick and a punt for a TD. The guy is a threat whenever he’s on the field and could arguably be named the best WR in the league. His speed and intellect, not his size, is what separates him from his competition.

His beard are pubes glued on.

7. Andrew Luck – He’s been in the league for 3 seasons and has reached the playoffs 3 times never advancing further than the AFC championship game. This is tremendous so don’t get me wrong that I don’t think Luck is one of the best QB’s in the league. I just don’t think he has that killer instinct, like Tom Brady, yet. This of course could develop but you have to earn your place on this list by winning as a QB. His 4761 yards and 40 TD’s were amazing stats last year (3rd in yards, 1st in TD’s). It’s possible he looks too much like a caveman for me to think he’s smart.

6. Calvin Johnson – I’m a bit torn on Megatron. Top notch receiver but didn’t have a great year last year. Only playing in 13 games he battled injury and finished with 1,077 yards. He was going off as a 1st round pick in fantasy circles last year and that proved to be too high. Stafford is a mediocre QB in my mind which you can’t hold against Calvin, but you do. His ’12 season of 1,964 yards and 122 catches is unreal. His size of 6-5, 239 makes him a force to be reckoned with for smaller DB’s. There should be one more point to be made. If your team is playing against the Lions, and Stafford launches the ball downfield, I don’t care if you have 3 guys back there, you say, “oh shit”.

Peyton with is wife. This is his most provocative picture.

5. Peyton Manning – When he was a Colt in 2006 and just won the Superbowl against the Bears he was the #1 player in the league. He was still probably #1 after his historic season in 2013 when he threw 55 td’s and 5,466 yards. Even last year he put the same numbers as Luck so how can I make this argument that he doesn’t deserve this spot? He doesn’t win the Superbowl. He has 14 seasons with 10 wins and only 2 losing seasons for his career, however his playoff record is 11-13. You can’t be a top 10 football player with results like that. My feeling on his current ability is his passes are wounded ducks and his players (DeMaryius and Julius) are bailing him out. I think there are about half a dozen QB’s I’d rather have than Peyton, let alone players on this list.

DeMarco and Heidi Mueller. Cheating has taken place.

4. DeMarco Murray -Befuddling. Yes he led the league in yards last year with 1,845 (2nd was 1,319) and caught 57 balls but I’m not sold on DeMarco. He’s played in the NFL for 4 years with 1 year being eye opening. I need more. Now that’s he’s an Eagle I hope he thrives but the jury is still out on DeMarco. I personally think Jamaal Charles, Leveon Bell, and Adrian Peterson are more explosive. We’ll see. I hope I’m wrong.

Slick Tom with his beautiful wife Gisele.

3. Tom Brady – Can’t argue. 10 Pro Bowls, 6 Super Bowl trips, 4 wins. He’s getting older and his stats aren’t there anymore but he still wins. He also doesn’t get hurt which is telling of how wily he is as a QB. Aside from 2008 when he missed the season, he has played in 16 games every single season since 2001 (technically it was 15 in 2001). His 50 TD season in 2007 when the Pats went 16-0 is legendary. Tom Brady is Tom Brady. Put him at 1 on this list and you can’t be wrong.

That’s a Fu Man Chu

2. Aaron Rodgers – Best QB in the league. Before the days of RedZone I never got to see Aaron Rodgers throw the ball until a playoff game in 2010 against the Eagles. It was the NFC Wild Card game and he beat the birds 21-16 but what I was watching wasn’t a normal QB. This guy had accuracy like you couldn’t believe and winged the ball so hard that his receivers need a flak jacket. Aaron Rodgers has TD-INT ratios like you read about, 45-6, 39-8, 38-5, 3 of the last 4 years. If I had to pick 1 QB to start my team, it would be him.

Lucky SOB.

1. JJ Watt – Best defensive player in the league and can change a game in a heartbeat. He had 3 receiving TD’s last year. He’s the first player in NFL history to record 2 20+ sack seasons. He’s won defensive player of the year for the 2nd time in 4 years. How many more records is this guy going to break? He’s a freak and doesn’t get injured (or he plays through anything). To call a defensive player the #1 player in the NFL is probably a stretch but I can’t think of anyone else who I’d want on my D line.

Snubs

If I’m going to say certain guys shouldn’t be on the list I of course should say who should crack the top 10.

The catch.

Odell Beckham – He only played 12 games last year and went for 1,305 yards. Do I have to hit you over the head with a tack hammer to help you understand how amazing this is? His yardage totals for the first 3 games were 44, 28, and 34. Do you get it yet? He was 10th in the league in yards and 9th in receptions. He did it in 9 games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had more exclamation points I’d use them. Teams realized he was their best option by the end of the season and his yard totals for the last 4 games were 130, 143, 148, and 185. I’m drafting him this year. No matter what.

LeVeon Bell – Dual threat. 1361 yards and 855 receiving yards last year. He only went for 11 TD’s but that will change. I’ve watched his footage and he’s explosive like Jamaal but I think he’s a tad slicker. He is going to miss some games to start the season but I want this guy on my team because is arguably the best back in the league right now.

Adrian Peterson – He’ll fly under the radar this year because of his switch incident but I don’t put anything past the man. A-Pete is/was the best RB in football. He burns everyone on the field and can’t be tackled. We’ll see how he does but I think his value right now is far lower than it should be.

By Tom Stortz|2015-07-10T14:28:36-04:00July 10th, 2015|Sports|3 Comments

Alex Morgan Sell Out – With Me Oh Yeah!

I actually like Alex Morgan so I’m using this for my own amusement more than making an actual point. I also haven’t made a photoshop post in a while.

Here are a few products Alex Morgan endorses.

Not a chance she eats these.

Smile looks pretty good to me already.

I wish I were the chapstick.

And a few she hasn’t.
Karate Kid 5 – Kicks For Real

Who’s the prettiest?

By Tom Stortz|2015-07-09T22:47:05-04:00July 9th, 2015|Celeb, Sports|0 Comments

Female Soccer Players Make Less Than Males? Really?!?!

When I read this title – “Champion Female Soccer Players Make Far Less Money Than Male Players” – I get the feeling that they’re implying that this is a problem. Perhaps if the word “far” wasn’t used, I would think they were just pointing out the facts.
Here’s the Yahoo Report.

Let’s look at some numbers:

2015 Women’s World Cup Viewers in America – 25 million
2014 USA Men’s Elimination Game vs Portugal in America – 17.3 million
2015 Global Audience of Champions League Men’s Final Barcelona vs Juventus – 180 million
2010 Men’s World Cup Final Spain vs Netherlands – 909 million

Average salary of soccer player in the USA:
MLS – $305,000 (which is quite high in my opinion)
NWSL- $14,000

World cup prize money:
Men’s FIFA World Cup – $576 million
Women’s – $15 million

US Men’s team made $9 million in prize money for being eliminated in the round of 16 vs $2 million for the women who won the championship.

So What?

Blatter and Morgan in 2012

When FIFA writes stories focusing on Alex Morgan’s looks and Sepp Blatter, the head of FIFA, not even knowing who Alex Morgan is as she was being honored as one of the 3 top players in the league, it’s fairly obvious the Women’s league isn’t generating much respect in FIFA.

Another major consideration is ticket sales, jersey sales, and general excitement surrounding an event that reaches almost a billion people vs (an estimate of ) 100 million people. So is the breakdown of money fair? No.

If a game is generating 25 million viewers solely in the US, the USA team deserves more than 2 million in prize money from FIFA and a shit ton more from Fox. They’ll be plenty of endorsement deals for the women but I can be certain that Fox is making out like a bandid here. It should be noted that the 1999 (13.3 rating) team drew a bit less ratings to the 2015 team (15.2 rating).

By Tom Stortz|2015-07-07T13:59:32-04:00July 7th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Rodman Calls Charles Smith an F’ing Dickhead…

Showtime had a documentary on Dennis Rodman’s efforts assembling a basketball team of out of shape, past NBA players to play the North Korean national team. The game took place on January 8th, 2014 and was secondary to the behavior of Dennis Rodman.

Dennis Rodman is a pitiful ambassador for the USA . He’s a full blown alcoholic who allowed the stress from the event to over shadow any good he was trying to accomplish. Thankfully Charles Smith was there to try to turn what was transpiring into a positive, which was murky at best.

Charles Smith and Cliff Robinson on the right.

The first hour of the show was going over Kim Jong Un and Dennis meeting and the scheduling of the game. Fairly slow paced. However, once Dennis assembles a team of Charles Smith, Vin Baker, Kenny Anderson, Cliff Robinson, and a few other over the hill players, the fun begins.

Cue an incredibly formal dinner as it’s the first night in North Korea for the players. Dennis does this rendition of Santeria.

At the same dinner, he ends up confronting an Irish reporter and makes a huge scene which the North Koreans were too polite to make a big deal of. The players then start having second thoughts about the game and Dennis is as unruly as ever during negotiations. It’s must see TV to see what Dennis will do or say next.

It’s not a political affair, it’s a basketball game.

The game eventually takes place and the out of shape players lose 45-39 in one half of bball. It sounds much worse than it is when you realize who was actually on the floor. Dennis was horrible and completely out of shape which shows how serious he was taking the game. The documentary ends when Dennis gets too shit faced with Kim Jong Un (which they don’t show) and he ends up checking into rehab.

I’m pretty familiar with alcoholics and Dennis was out of control for an event that was to be taken seriously. He was drinking at 10 am and giving speeches that were just plain silly. The motive behind Kim Jong Un befriending Rodman is questionable because you’d never want a man like this in your presence. I believe he was using Rodman as a spectacle to show how off kilter the USA is as a nation. The game was just icing on the cake with his players beating a bunch of washed up players.

By Tom Stortz|2015-06-30T08:58:34-04:00June 29th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments