Teach me how to dougie

So I ended up in Jeff and Mael’s friends swimming pool last night in my boxers. We went to the Princeton which is much more low key on a Monday night. Catchphrase was a hit pre-bar. I was under control again which is becoming probably my longest streak of non-blackout nights in ages. I’m also well aware that these sentences aren’t at all relevant to one another. We are going on a boat in about one hour to go fishing where we are guaranteed to catch something. We had planned to go golfing early this morning but that never happened because I woke up at 10am. I’m still looking like a lobster and the sun burn is killing my shoulders so that makes normal activities difficult. Chad’s birthday is on Thursday so tomorrow night should be off the hook. Which means that tonight will hopefully be mild but I make no guarantees. It’s already Tuesday and the week is coming and going fast. I’ll have a Ms. Avalon update tomorrow but other than that not too much is going on. I’m also learning how to dougie.

By |2010-07-08T00:58:59-04:00June 22nd, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Vaca

So after some nice dental work on Friday, I begun my vacation. My tooth space was bleeding for about 5 hours after the work and my entire face was numb from 4 novacane shots but all in all I came out of it incredibly well. I was able to play softball on Saturday where our team got creamed. I use the analogy of an intramural bball team who brings their 5 best players to play the whole game, playing against a team of 9 guys where everyone has to play at least 2 quarters. After that I went to the shore where we are staying at a beautiful house on the bay in Avalon. We went to the Princeton on Sat night and I was under control the entire time which led to minimal amounts of fun but it was for the best. I discussed with Jkash that the problem with being pretty much sober at the bar is that you can identify the girls who are either too big or not pretty enough which leads to nothing, and the girls who are too hot, I’m too sober and can’t find the balls to make any moves. It’s quite the conundrum. It’s going to be something I have to get used to though because I’ve been feeling really good physically without much alcohol in my system.

I woke up on Sunday and went for a 5 mile run in the heat. Avalon is supposed to be cooler by a mile but in my estimation it feels hotter than hell. We went to the beach where we were ogling some 17 year old girls. No age was actually confirmed but Jkash overhead the one girl saying that she only goes out with older guys, “Bobby’s a senior, and Jimmy just graduated…” so we were pretty sure they were jail bait. I got burnt to a crisp at the beach because I didn’t put any suntan lotion on and I’m feeling the effects today. Mael and I met Evan at the Borgata later in the night to play some cards. It was my sole intention to not get hammered and just play poker. I probably had about 6 beers on the night and played 1-2 from about 10pm till 3am. I ended up 65 dollars to the plus side with very little variance. I play a really solid game and people tend to just stay away from me. Plus the fact that I’m not drinking gives me very little imagination at the table. We came back at 10am today and I went for another 5 mile run this morning. It really is amazing at what I can accomplish without drinking so much. We had another beach day and just for the bragging rights, I won the race to the boat and back which was probably a little under a half mile. Sam the Ursinus athlete got creamed by Tc the 26 year old aging alchy. I’m pretty pumped about the rest of the week as we have golf lined up one day this week and we are going to take Ms. Avalon out for a fishing trip. We are still o-fer for the trip of catching fish but I’m sure we will make this the year we catch something. Wagon and I got some bait and we casted a line in the bay and something ate the blood worm but our rod wasn’t reeling in and we are using a huge hook that is meant to catch marlins. I am determined to make it happen though. I also foresee another trip to the Borgata for some more card action but I have a ways to go before I even start to dent the beat down from my dental work. I say this sweet Hugo Boss suit that I said I would buy if I won 500 bucks. If I get it I will take a picture of how bad ass I will look. I might buy it anyway just to humor myself.

I’m not really sure how much I’ll post either. My brother has his laptop down here which is what I’m working from now but these are all pretty rudimentary events and I don’t really find them that exciting to write about. I’m still feeling really good though and I expect it to continue for a while. I have this entire week off and then the next entire week off in Ocean City, MD, followed by July 4th which I also plan on spending by the beach. This is going to be some serious sun and I’m loving every minute of it. I truly apologize if you are reading this at work because I am living so much better than you right now. I’m sitting on the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away, OHHHHHH, just sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting time.
Hate Comments appreciated for my assholeness of uploading the pictures.

By |2010-06-21T15:32:44-04:00June 21st, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Blessing in disguise

It’s 1am and I’m having problems going to sleep so i thought I would write an entry. I think I’m on somewhat of a life high as of late. I know it seems counter-intuitive considering the mess I made of myself but the self realization that came along with it has me more optimistic lately than I’ve ever been. First off, I realized that all girls aren’t whores. On Saturday morning when I woke up with my face mangled, I had my friends looking after me and then Jill was nice enough to take multiple hours our of her life to drive me to the hospital and then sit there and wait for me while they re-attached my lip. Ck4 would have been out the door the first sign of a needle or a drop of blood. The genuine concern from the female gender was a bit different than what I’m used to. So this revelation that I can’t group all girls into the slut category is a step in the right direction despite what Jka$h (from his signature I was previously missing out on the Kesha $ sign) might think. I also think that I have a new found respect for alcohol. Now I know this comment will draw some “yeah rights”. The Sheee is very skeptical about this and thinks that I’m underplaying what happened but like I told him tonight, “just give me a chance and we’ll see if I can do a better job.” I’m not going to go as far as to say I’ve been reborn because I don’t have a religious bone in my body but I think I’m being offered another chance to make right. You can bring up countless times in my history where this feeling should have struck me before and I’m completely putting myself out there with this post but I’m going to talk the talk and by doing so, hopefully walk the walk. I really feel like I’m putting the pieces together from a personal sense and I think this has led me to do some soul searching within myself for what I should make of the opportunities presented to me.

This is going to be a difficult task these next two weeks as I have time off to do whatever I want and that usually leads to day drinking binges into the night and unreal stories. Just to give a few examples;

  • The brawl the Rock and I started (he started) by calling some girl a cunt and then we had 10 bros surrounding us looking to fight (the number increases by 1 each year) and we had some hero out of the blue say “it’s too late for pizza” (the rock offered pizza to the dbags as a symbol of piece (see what I did there)) and he created a huge distraction by knocking the pizza out of the rocks hands and then attacking our assaulter. The cops got there a minute later and broke it up while in the meantime the Rock and I escaped the brawl and went inside the pizza place to hit on the two 19 years olds inside.
  • The time at the Princeton when I gave Jeff my real ID and he tried to get in but they didn’t let him because we didn’t look enough alike and then 5 minutes later I tried to get in claiming that they had my ID. This brought major suspicion amongst the bouncers and they ended up calling the cops. The cops interrogated me asking me what happened and they were saying my brother stole my ID and they were asking me if I talked to him to which I famously replied “of course I talk to him, he’s my brother.” The Wagon was right by my side acting as my lawyer as he claimed. They were completely baffled because I was over 21 and ended up letting me go but not before they wanted to search Jeff’s friend when the Wagon interjected by asking the cop to show him his search warrant which sent him on their way.
  • I can’t remember if this was the same night as the above story but Jeff rode Nance’s bike into a grouping of trees while fleeing some 50. I think he ended up hiding in the bushes while I picked him up to a disgruntled po-po but this was obviously a no-no because everyone involved would have been in some trouble.
  • I honestly could go on with me getting booted from the house next door last year, the Wagon and the boys of summer will never die, I had a nosebleed at Jack’s place that lasted forever and it resulted in me running down the street kicking over trash cans, sadly none of these are ending in me getting my d wet but you get the point of what is about to take place.

    Which leaves me here today feeling good and anticipating what is in store for the future. I know what is upcoming and I am prepared to make the best of it. I know what I’ve done in my past and I can only look forward. I do strive to be better and even though I know I’m all talk at this point, I intend to make good on these words.

    • By |2010-07-08T01:00:09-04:00June 16th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

    Blood Test

    Last time I went off bragging about myself I ended up in a bloody mess but, alas I will try again. The Sunday before my blood test I wound up drinking from 10am till 8pm without really eating a whole lot in between. They tell you to fast from 12am till the time you take it which was at 9 or so. I did the fasting part fine but I had some concern that the test might be a bit skewed. Nevertheless all my blood counts were normal. I had normal sugar levels, normal electrolytes, normal kidney tests, and get this NORMAL LIVER TESTS. Everyone single one fell into the range of a normal functioning liver. My high density lipoprotein (this is the good cholesterol: the higher the number the better; aerobic exercise can increase this) was 82 and a good number for a normal human is 40. I’m twice as good physically as a normal human. I actually came in with a low density lipoprotein (this is the bad cholesterol: the lower the number the better; this is the type that deposits in the blood vessel walls; decreasing saturated fats or medication can decrease this) of 106 and it says <100 is a good number meaning that my diet is too fatty and I should probably decreases the fats and increase the fruits and veggies. Unbelievably though I'm a healthy human being. I may be stupid but at least I'm stupid and healthy. I'm actually in really good spirits for what has transpired and I'm maintaining a positive attitude through the next weeks.

    By |2010-07-08T01:00:18-04:00June 15th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

    What a day

    To mere mortals, I had a better day than most people can dream of. I woke up at 6 yesterday went to the gym, did some weights and ran 2 miles in 11:45. I went to work after that and with one distraction at around 9, I worked efficiently and flawlessly till 5pm. I ran another 5 miles or so when I got home and went to the driving range after that. Then Wagon and I went to Mad River where I made some connections with pretty much the hottest bartender there is. She’s not really on board with the free drinks but I got her to make a mind eraser with Stoli instead of Vlad? for the same price so I’m pretty sure she’ll cave with some more convincing. The bottom line is that I pretty much owned the day. From 6am till I probably between 12 and 1 I was awesome. I sometimes go through these phases of big ego’s and it’s not so much because I think I’m that great, but more so because I take pride in what I can accomplish. It’s like there is me for 95% of the time, but for 5% a Bruce Wayne character shows up. I’m not fighting any crime or helping anyone out but I just take major pride in myself. It’s probably because my bac is .25 right now and I feel invincible but I really think I’m set for big things.

    By |2010-07-08T01:03:12-04:00June 11th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

    Times Square and Wall St

    Yesterday my dad, Jeff, Sam and I went to NYC to go on a tour of Wall Street and to see Times Square. Pretty much like a field trip for the company. We left at 7:15, felt some traffic, and eventually arrived there at the tour 15 minutes late. Traffic is awful there obviously and I was doing the driving. If I can drive in NYC without any incidents, I’m pretty sure I can drive anywhere in the world. The tour of Wall St was pretty interesting and we saw buildings like the Trump Tower, AIG, Goldman, the Fed, and finally we saw the aftermath of the World Trade Centers. Quote of the day goes to Sam when he was using the video camera and giving commentary when he was shooting the Goldman Sachs building and said “Here’s the Morgan Sachs building, no that’s wrong, here’s the Golden Sachs building.” Pretty brilliant stuff. The tour guide was raving about the book ‘Too Big too Fail’ so I went out and bought on his* recommendation. He also made an interesting comment about the Skyscraper Theory which was saying that whichever nation is building the tallest Skyscraper in the world, bad things are ahead economically.

    We ate lunch at some cafe and then drove through Times Square. Personally I wouldn’t recommend driving through as it’s pretty much chaos. We saw the Nasdaq and then stopped in the ESPN zone for a beer. Apparently all the ESPN zones are shutting down, at least that’s what the bartender told us. We left at about 3:30 and took the Lincoln tunnel out of there not hitting too bad of traffic. My dad loves to be a back seat driver always pointing out which lane is moving faster or where I should be turning next. Whenever he does I’m tempted to just put the car in park and just get out and let him drive (which he doesn’t want to do). I’ve been to New York now a couple of times and I always leave with the same thought of it being too crowded and just a tough atmosphere to do things. Parking is outrageous at something like 30 bucks for 2 hours or so. I would never have any urge to move there. I took some pictures with my phone just to verify that I actually went.

    The New York Stock Exchange

    Here’s AIG’s replica building of it’s building

    If you look closely you can see the show being taped in the Nasdaq building


    True Blood


    Entourage w/ a nice Toy Story 3 ad in there


    Mary Poppins & Lion King billboard WTF!

    By |2010-07-08T01:03:23-04:00June 10th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

    Can’t catch a break

    I sometimes wish that I just lived in Nebraska, working on a farm and tending to crops to make a living. I really wouldn’t care about making a lot of money but owning some small house, working outside under the beating sun, and raising a family in the simplest matter has it’s appeal. No pressures or complications, just pure and simple lifestyle. A big day would be some farm animal getting loose in the yard. No stock market or daily annoyances from customers, just simple is as simple does. Which brings me to my life and its non stop roller coaster.

    Let’s begin with my braindead move at the end of the day on Tuesday. I’m leaving work at 5pm (already bad) and I see this guy in a uniform riding a bike and putting a ticket on a car. My garage leads to a one way street that I literally have been driving up for the past 5 years. Well today of all days I grow some huge balls and pretty much think that this guy isn’t a real officer and that even if he was I’d be able to get away. Well if you can’t tell where this is going… I start up the street and hit the accelerator to get a head start and as I reach the street to make a right, I see this bike flying up the sidewalk and at this point I pretty much know I’m fucked but I’m going to play it off. So I make the turn and the guy wheelies up the sidewalk and cuts me off as I’m stopped at a stop sign for literally 3 seconds. He walks to the window and says you just went up a one way street. I look at him with this dumbfounded look like “yeah no shit, you’re right.” So he writes me a $119.50 ticket but tells me he’s cutting me a break because I should be getting 3 points but he’s letting me slide. Yee-ha. So that puts me at 2 traffic violations in 10 years of driving. Most likely you have no idea how badly this fucks up my life. I speed, rolling stop through stop signs, run red lights, obviously go up one way streets, and now we have a big problem because of this minor blemish on my record. I like to think of the way I drive as a cautious maniac but now I’m moving straight into the cautious, avoid ticket mode.

    I did a 12 mile run Tuesday which made me feel better but my system is still whack from the bike race. I’ve hardly eaten anything since then and I felt like I weighed nothing on the run. I was shocked when I weighed in at 172 because I know I haven’t been that slim in a long long time. It’s already past Tuesday and I still am feeling shitty from Sunday. It really comes down to making some life changes and if I have to entertain the idea of moving to Nebraska to make things better, I might be in some trouble. I have 2 weeks of vaca coming up. The first week is with my family down the shore which usually involves some heavy drinking and the 2nd week with college friends who I haven’t seen in a while and this crowd is even heavier drinkers. I know I can hang but the damage I’m going to do to my body may be severe. If anyone knows of some cure all for drinking and not feeling like shit, I may have to purchase a lifetime supply. I’m not proof reading this either because it’s late and I have to wake up early to head down to NYC with my brothers and dad as we are taking a tour of wall-street. Toodle-loo Motherfucka.

    By |2010-07-08T01:00:52-04:00June 9th, 2010|My Life|4 Comments

    Let me in

    Today I concluded that there is only one character trait that I’m looking for in a female, and that is letting me make my left hand turn when the line up the hill is completely backed up on the right side. Sounds absurd I know, but today some pretty attractive girl stopped completely, hand signaled me to go and then I looked through her windshield and she smiled and waved. I was beside myself that someone could be so enthusiastic and nice about such a simple thing that should be such common practice but goes unnoticed. Now I probably wouldn’t be making this entry if the woman had been 300 lbs with a beard instead of a 21 year old nice looking blonde, but I’ll still delve into why I’m even writing this.

    First off, this move shows common sense. There is a long line of people and she isn’t going anywhere so there is no reason not to let someone make a left. One could argue that if I was making a right then I’d be impeding her progress and slowing down everyone behind, essentially budging the line. However, I can’t tell you how many people are aholes about this and make it all about them. Next, since she can see the oncoming traffic, she alerts me that no one is coming and I’m not going to get sideswiped because that would pretty much ruin my day. I would be getting hit on the passenger side though so I’d survive. Another selfless act where she could have been a prick and let me fend for myself. Considering I’ve been doing this drive for 2+ years now you’d think that I wouldn’t be awestruck by this act but I honestly can’t remember a time where as I was passing by and gave a wave of gratitude, that it was actually returned with a “no problem” wave and a smile that at 7am is certainly not expected and nevertheless looking as fine as it did. So in those 5 seconds of driving, I learned enough about this person that I found my dream girl. Selfless, pretty, hot shades (I actually don’t understand the shades and driving but she looked good so it’s OK), nice, drove a jeep cherokee, no guy in the passenger seat, and a beautiful smile with perfect teeth. The fact that I don’t know anything else about her is fine because I honestly think that’s all I need. I’m not really sure if that would make me shallow or deep. Shallow in the sense that she was a hot blonde and I’m making up my mind in 5 seconds that I would marry her on the spot or deep because if I believe she had these qualities I could reason in my mind that she’s the only one I’d need.

    I’m well aware that this is a far reaching and pretty out there post but the more I go through life the way people handle the small things tell a much bigger story about themselves. So when I equate these small acts of kindness to a telling story about her personality, I do believe what I write is true. An example, I have a friend who I owed 3 dollars to. Now it’s only 3 dollars and no one would say anything if I didn’t do anything at all, but the process of me going up to him and saying “here’s the 3 dollars I owe you,” means more than probably any amount of money because it’s the right thing to do. People downplay little stupid things like this but they really are the fundamentals of trust, virtues, and honesty. I feel like Maximus for that last line. I also think I should make clear that “I’m no angel” (by Greg Allman and actually a pretty good song) and have flaws just like every other human but I certainly don’t live obliviously and I try my best to become a human being that I hope people will say, “yeah he used to get way too fucked up and party way too hard but he was honest, reliable, and wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone but himself.” (I also have the backs of my friends so I probably would hurt someone else if it came to it). Alright I’m done preaching my value system.

    If the girl who was in front of 200 Green Lane at about 7:17am today reads this, I’ll be leaving the driveway at the same time everyday for the next year to propose.

    By |2010-06-08T09:01:39-04:00June 8th, 2010|My Brain, My Life|0 Comments

    Bike Race and Chaos

    So this has been one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time. Pretty much the most fun you can have without getting laid. I have shout outs, call outs and thank yous galore for the people involved to make this weekend awesome. I tried something a bit different this weekend to make things turn out better and that was to start drinking later. On Friday I made it to 8:15 before consuming any alcohol and 7:15 on Saturday. This led to me being functional for the majority of the weekend and remembering most things. I scored some girls number on Friday night, who I said I would take on a date but I’m considering otherwise at no fault of her own. I really wonder what she’s thinking though because I remember asking her name at least 10 times and when she asked me if I knew it I had no idea. I remember telling her I loved her glasses and I think that’s what did it.

    We had a weak game in softball on Saturday because the other team was only playing two outfielders. I give Evan some props for standing in there against me pitching overhand which abruptly ended when I beaned him in the back. I personally would never stand in there with me throwing hard. Saturday night was fun too as we had a plethora of siblings over. We got a keg and everything worked out fine. After a couple of shots of Yager with DB and many many games of flip cup I made it to the bar but was pretty wasted. I also want to note that I lost 1v1 vs Kat but beat Jill so I’m looking for a rematch because I don’t like losing to girls. I had a girl sleep in my bed on Saturday but I’m going to be completely honest and say that I have no idea how she got there.

    Sunday was really the day of choice though as it was the Manayunk bike race. I’m actually smarter than most people think surprisingly. I collected 24 bike race tickets prior to the bike race because the bartenders have a quota so they are looking to sell the tickets for drink deals. I specifically sent my favorite bartender this link so she can understand my appreciation of her service. If you read this you are easily one of the nicest people I’ve met and I thank you for feeding my desire for alcohol. My thought in the morning was that I might have some difficulty getting rid of that many bike race tickets but much to my surprise, this was not the case. Big props to Wagon for helping me sell the tickets and I think we collected about 200+ dollars for them all. I really don’t feel bad about it at all because I’ve literally given Mad River thousands upon thousands of dollars and I have to be one of the best customers. It’s kind of like Cheers where everybody “knows your name.” There’s one bartender there who gets really annoyed with me because I always ask her the same questions but I this point I think she understands it’s kind of a joke and she’s starting to give in to my likability. My favorite part of selling the tickets was Chad and I walking up to some people and them being really skeptical about the deal and Chad was just like “fuck you, we’ll sell them to someone else” and the guy instantly caved. So that part of the day was a success.

    When I woke up on Sunday I had about 4 beers before I left to go to Mad River but when I got there I wasn’t in my best drinking shape but that changed after a few hours. Once we found the best bartender the Mind Erasers occurred and shit started to get out of control. I literally must have grinded on about 10 different girls who I pretty much didn’t give an option to saying no. There were tons of hot girls there and I think I have to agree with Chad and say that they should have that every Sunday cause I would be there every time. I have a couple of random numbers that I don’t really remember getting but I’ll probably give them a call to see what I was up to. I have two bbm’s from Jkash, one that says “Where are you” and then another one 10 minutes later that says “Where the fuck are you” so I would think it was probably around 7:30ish that I went back to Green lane. Major shout out to Jkash who was my right hand man all day and drinking like a champ. At night, I was definitely close to passed out mode but I still drank a beer just in spite of Mallory who secretly loves me even though she acts otherwise. I woke up at 3:30am on the couch and feeling like death. I went to my bed and when I woke up at 7:00 today. I was hurting but not feeling horrible. I actually had a physical scheduled today and I’m 5-11 and 172 pounds which is reasonably fit and I’m just hoping all the alcohol today doesn’t skew the blood test results. The nurse told me to put on a gown and I was like no fucking way am I wearing this piece of shit gown. That pretty much concludes what I went through over the past couple days.

    By |2010-08-11T15:49:46-04:00June 7th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

    4 day weekend

    I took off on Friday to make it 4 days of holiday. By the end, I was in a full power failure and probably felt close to the worse I’ve ever felt in my life. We played Bball in the 90 degree weather and after the first HALF court game, I knew I was in trouble. I was starting to get nauseous and dizzy and my legs weren’t responding to my brain. One problem was that I hadn’t eaten any food for something like 30 hours. This was a pure liquid alcohol diet and I was feeling the aftermath pretty hardcore. They say you need something powerful to make you change your ways and this was actually pretty close. Am I swearing off alcohol? No. The bike race is this weekend and I find more fun in day drinking on a Sunday then most activities that I can think of. Wagon thought of a good idea to sell off our parking spots in conjunction with a bike race ticket and see if we can make any money. We might be getting a keg for the day so that’s something to look forward to.

    I got an chance to hang out with the Rock this weekend which was different because I don’t think I’d seen him in 6 months or more. It’s funny sometimes how people just kind of float out of your life from time to time. I don’t do the best job of keeping in touch, but it’s not because I don’t like the person, it’s because I don’t have much emotional attachment in my relationships with people. I just get this feeling from people sometimes that they are really excited to see me because its been a long time and I just don’t have the same level of enthusiasm. This is no doubt one of my character flaws as I lack the ability to socialize properly sometimes. Once I get to the situation I’m pretty normal but sometimes I just shy away from doing things that are different. As I’m writing this I’m starting to think that maybe I need to do a better job of becoming a people person. I just find it easier to forget than to pursue.

    I’m in a really rough spot now anyway. I’ve deteriorated my poker bankroll. I’ve finished Lord of the Rings and I have no books to read. I actually have an episode of Treme to watch and there’s a series on Starz I might check out. Other than that I’m going to try to sweat off the beer weight in the hot, hot, heat and get back to normal.

    By |2016-10-28T15:54:22-04:00June 1st, 2010|My Life|0 Comments
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