When I first looked at this picture my first thought was I don’t remember this. Was I black out drunk working out?

On closer inspection it’s just a bro who looks exactly like me. After just watching Primer and talking about time travel, I’m pretty sure this is just a copy of me who went off into another location. It’s good to know the other Tom Stortz maintains his fitness.

Not Quite

Anyone remember the green dinosaur’s name?

I’m a fan of please and thank you but not so much “you’re welcome”. I also don’t “God Bless” after sneezes.

I haven’t posted in a few days and that’s because I was out of the state. I seem to be traveling more of late and I enjoy it. It’s mostly for work but when work doesn’t feel like work, it’s ok.

A few years ago if you asked me what I did I’d say I work for a family business who sells hand tools. I still do that but now I understand my defined role. My job is to sell hand tools to a specific industry. I’ve gotten very good at what I do.

The one shirt I brought had a smudge on it so I had to buy a this one from Macy’s.

Even though I would suck at giving a speech in front of a large audience, I have no problem walking in stores unannounced and introducing myself and trying to sell them an item. When you can align a product with the proper audience, your job is 10x easier. Thing is, this isn’t as easy as it sounds and it takes time and understanding how to make this work.

The other point I’d make is that business is booming right now within the US. Every store I went in said the same thing, “business is great.” People are spending money and this is the time to strike while the iron is hot. That’s a blacksmith term by the way.

Without rambling on too much about my last few days I’ll sum it up by saying it was successful and great experience. Being a young guy selling is an invaluable tool.

I saw this on Reddit and had to smile. I also liked a comment that said he should play Quagmire if Family Guy ever makes a movie.

Alllrighty then!

Back to the grind. Last week was the first in a while where I spent all 5 days and the weekend in Philly. It’s nice to do some activities close to home. This weekend these included watching basketball games, bowling, and having a family brunch.

On the sports front, I was close to even betting on the BBall games but got hit hard on a big bet on Gonzaga yesterday. My brackets also were sunk which is nothing new.  I needed Arvydas on the court instead of Domantas.

I also went bowling on Saturday.  After bowling at Hi-Spots I welcomed the lane conditions of Facenda Whitaker. The usual crew of the 3 Cohens and myself hit the lanes where I swept high game and high series with a much improved performance from my league play.

Other than that it was pretty ordinary and I’m planning on heading south for a sales trip this week so I’ll most likely not be posting as frequently. C’est le vie.

What I’ve learned about league play is that it’s all about the handicap.  Whether golf, bowling, or any other sport that involves an attempt at fairness, your handicap determines how useful you are.  I was not last night.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

Coming into Wednesday night I was 3rd in the league in average and held the #1 and #2 top score.  This is extremely deceptive as aside from the 2 high games (238 & 247), I didn’t break 140.  That being said, my high game didn’t come last night.

We were giving up 100 pins to a team from Camp Jewbec and I’ve learned in situations like this the better bowlers will usually prevail if they can bowl close to their averages.  I rolled a 118 the first game.  A 125 the second.  A 135 the 3rd.  My 164 average killed the team as we ended up losing all 3 games.

The feeling is horrible because without pointing any fingers, I’m the main culprit for losing.  The lanes are such that they have so much oil on them that my ball tends to skirt right through the initial 40 feet of oil right into the gutter.  This means that I have to start adjusting and once that happens, the game becomes a bit of a crapshoot.  No excuses.

The only benefit is that my average will start to even out for the next game and we should start to see a fairer game being we are giving less pins or actually getting pins.  Thumbs up to Dan for bowling good games despite our pedestrian performance.

The next couple posts will be New Orleans themed because I spent some time there and lived instead of worked.  Most people spend their life working and forget about living life.  Living life requires spending money and this constrains freedom.  Money = Freedom.

With that intro aside, I spent 4 days with 13 dudes for a bachelor party to send one of our brothers off to married land.  Of the 14 people who attended, a mere 2 were single.  At 31, being single is becoming a rarity.  When you get to be my age people begin to fear loneliness and I understand the sentiment.  A topic that I could probably share pages about, I’d rather focus on specifics of being away for 4 days with nothing to do but enjoy life and hang out with your friends.

What I Learned

• I’m not much of a speaker in group settings.  The final night of the trip we had a dinner to recollect fond memories of the man of the hour, Ed McGrath.  We went around the table sharing stories.  For the life of me I couldn’t think of a good story to share.  This had to do with my inexperience of speaking in front of groups an also not being able to think of one.  My comfort level is far greater in groups up to 6 people where there is a more personal experience instead of entertaining a group.  There’s a part of me that says, don’t share something stupid, make it count…except it never came.
• Work guilt doesn’t leave me.  I have a hard time feeling totally free from work.  I wrote a post about this a while back and didn’t get to experience it on this trip.  It has to do with having responsibilities and not attending to them.  I get constant emails about customers and projects that as hard as I try, I never seem to leave it.
• My job is a blessing.  I’ve always knew this but as Dom puts it, “you can’t get fired”.  I hear what others in the group do for a living and it’s a pretty solid group.  Everyone has a decent job and earns a living but none are fortunate to be born into a business of self-employment.
• I’m hyping up a story that I still can’t share but when I get drunk, money becomes an afterthought.  It’s like I become some prince from Saudi Arabia with all of the money in the universe to spend.  Money starts to become a number instead of a an actual resource.  More on this.
• The final, and most important, life lesson I learned is that as much as I know weekends like this will damage my existence, I’m glad I do it.  I could have stayed home this weekend and done the same old, same old but I would never remember it.  I’ll never forget this one.

I’m not pulling a Gourlay, don’t worry.  I haven’t posted in almost a week and this was mainly because I was in New Orleans for Ed’s bachelor party from Wednesday to Sunday.  I have a pending story that I want to share but it’s still, well, pending.  Nothing seriously bad happened physically but there were some financial shenanigans that I’ll go into once they are cleared up. I also felt like death yesterday and coming out of it today.

A part of the trip that I can describe was canoeing through the bayou True Detective-esque.  A group of about 12 guys went into the canoes like you see to the right and paddled for about 2 miles out to a lake.  The decision to paddle all the way to the lake was questioned but it was worth it.  On the outskirts of the swamp you could see alligators and there was definitely a feeling of uneasiness because you are so vulnerable in the canoe.  I should also add it was quite tiring and a good shoulder workout.  The coveted view of the lake below.

JC and I ready for to do some business.

When I first started in the company my dad and I would hit the road together to see our customers. I look back on these times and remember seeing myself as a youngster with no experience walking into dealers having no idea how to fit their needs with my product line. 10 years later, this has changed.

JC is from another generation. He would map (actually use a map) his stops ahead of time and visit them accordingly. As you can guess, times have changed. This past weekend gave JC and I the chance to hit the road to Rhode Island for a tradeshow. Not so fast.

The infamous FOB

The morning we were planning to depart it became apparent that JC didn’t have his car key. The key is a FOB and we weren’t sure if the key was left at (for some crazy reason you can drive without the key in the car once it is started) work or misplaced at home. We spent the first 3 hours of the morning searching and couldn’t find it. We made Jeff drive from Philly with my car so we could depart. Good start.

We got to Providence without any problem and checked into the hotel. JC gave the doorman a $13 dollar tip to bring the bags up to the room which seemed a tad pricey. I received a text a bit later from my mom that she found my dad’s key within 30 seconds of searching for it in his room. Wonderful.

“The bowl was slippery” – JC

JC had been alcohol free for 90 days and decided to celebrate the occasion with his oldest son of breaking the streak. I wasn’t an advocate for this but certainly wasn’t going to stop him. Within 3 minutes of having his first sip of alcohol, he tries to pour some sour cream on his baked potato and ends up fumbling the small serving bowl on his lap.  Could have been a sign. Wonderful.

JC’s almost alma mater

We get through the meal and hit the sac for night 1. We woke up the next morning and set up our booth for the show. It was a relatively painless process. Afterward we toured the streets of Providence where JC used to go to Bryant college back in the late 60’s. JC told me that Brown absorbed Bryant and Bryant had moved. We were driving around looking for Bryant and he wasn’t sure why he couldn’t find much of what he remembered. Turns out this absorption happened in 1971. JC tracked down a cop who he asked about Bryant and we got pretty close to where it used to be. Fun times.

The booth

The next day was the trade show which was 9 long hours standing at a booth. Everything went well. After the show we watched the Nova game at a nearby Italian restaurant in an area called Federal Hill. The next day was the trade show again and we left as soon as it ended.  It was good experience in trying to get further distribution through a master wholesaler.

As I was driving home after dropping JC off at his house, he texts me “is my wallet in your car?” At this point my car is packed with stuff leftover from the trade show and I can’t see anything. I search a bit but tell him I can’t find it. He thinks he must have left it at a rest stop. The next day I end up finding it in a compartment of my car I’ve never even thought to look in. All is well that ends well.

The man, the myth, the legend

JC is a bit of a hurricane but he certainly keeps life interesting. As the years go on we won’t have as many opportunities to go on trips like this together so it’s fun to spend the time together. He can drive me a little crazy because he packs like he’ll be away for a month when it’s 3 days. He brought 8 different button down shirts to give you an idea. He is also never on time which is the complete opposite of me. This can be a funny scene because I also walk a lot faster than him so when we are rushing some place because we are inevitably late, I’m leaving him in my dust. Either way, we had a good time and I’ll probably laugh at this post sometime years forward remembering this small details.

I took the weekend off from posting because I was out and about on Saturday and then didn’t feel tip top on Sunday.  I’ve noticed that my recovery time from even 1 night of drinking has gotten to be 2 days.  It’s absurd but the truth.

I ended last week with a few good posts (I particularly liked the Kobe post which I think was read by 4 people) and unfortunately couldn’t keep the momentum.  This post will also be disappointing and then I most likely won’t have any posts this week.  I’m traveling to Rhode Island for a trade show until Saturday.  This means I pretty much miss all of St Patty’s day which is a bummer but old men have old man responsibilities.

I’ll also be traveling to New Orleans again the week after starting on Wednesday.  This is an all pleasure trip though so I’m not complaining.  Blog entries though will suffer.  It’s  shame too because I thought I was hitting a stride where I was able to produce entries almost at will.  Alcohol always delays this process which sucks.

No real point to this post other than I won’t be posting much so don’t check back.

One of the downsides of living 5 minutes away from where you work is that there is no such thing as a snow day.  While I was working I saw constant updates of SNOW DAY!  Good for you and your pathetic life that now instead of sitting behind a cube you get to sit inside and watch TV.  Pat on the back.  Just a little bitter.

When I got back from work I went to the gym and then the Shee said that Flyers tickets are dirt cheap and asked if I wanted to go.  I’d never been to a Flyers game so I thought this was a perfect time.  Shee said to ride some action on the game so I put up an amount to cover the 30 dollar tickets and taxied on 95 which was a sheet of ice.  I got to the game, met up with the Shee, and grabbed a beer.

He reminded me that yesterday was his birthday that I unfortunately forgot.  He didn’t care because if he did it would have been awkward the entire time which would have sucked.  I wrote this post last year when I missed his birthday and still stand by it.  A birthday is just a superficial way of acting like you are important.

Can you make your elbows touch?

For my first Flyer’s game ever I was surprised by the speed.  Hockey live is far better than televised hockey.  If you didn’t see the game, and I’d doubt you did, the Flyer’s scored 3 goals in the 3rd period to win 3-1.  Our seats were in the 13th section a bit off of center ice but still pretty damn good for 33 bucks.  Shee used 2015 technology to buy the tickets on stubhub, download them to his phone, then Uber to the game.  Happy late Birthday, Shee.