Obama 3D Model
This:
To This:
Calvin Peeing Decal
The above strip was published in 1988. If you want to read more on the history of the Calvin peeing decal you can see it on a page published by Gawker that’s actually decent.
I was driving home today and saw what looked like a replica of the Calvin peeing decal except it didn’t look exactly like Calvin. That got me thinking that I would have been shocked if Bill Watterson ever drew Calvin peeing. Considering he never licensed out any of his work for merchandise, it must have been created by 3rd parties. This proved to be correct.
I have a Calvin and Hobbes childhood memory of mine that I wanted to share. I was probably 13 or so and there was one summer when I would cut out the Calvin and Hobbes strip every single day for the entire summer. The Sunday colored strip was my favorite. I amassed dozens of these pieces of paper and kept them stored in a safe that my dad used to own. It had a combination that was 7,1,14, but all you had to do was spin the dial enough times and it would pop open.
I wonder what the hell was I thinking. A wiser me went to Barnes and Noble (pre-internet) and bought the Treasury Collection of Calvin and Hobbes which I indeed treasured. Ranked of course – The Indispensable. The Authoritative. The Essential.
Around that time There’s Treasure Everywhere and Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat were released as well. I never even knew what Homicidal Psycho meant but I knew I liked the material in the book. I didn’t understand the majority of what Watterson was relaying as an adult to a kid (or to other adults), but I related. When you think of Calvin and Hobbes you think “children’s material”, but the work is a double edged that relats to everyone.
Without futher ado, I present a few weekly’s I found:
The simple feelings may be the best moments of your life.
“They say the satisfaction of teaching makes up for lousy pay.” Knowing that the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock in 1620 details history. As you age, you understand what people 500 years ago were doing. They lived exactly like you live now except without technology. The end quote means that when a student is answering questions in that manner, your pay should be minimal.
I’m not sure this feeling ever leaves.
This is you endure a lot of “whatever” for those special moments. Notice the beginning is dreaming.
Not Quite a Mental Patient
I watched 2 documentaries last night (killer life I know) on Anthony Weiner and John McAfee. Weiner’s is titled “Weiner” (be careful Googling) and McAfee’s is “Gringo: The Dangerous Life of John McAfee“.
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Anthony and Huma
Anthony Weiner was a member of Congress and ran for the governor of New York in 2013. He lost in a landslide after sexting scandals erupted. His wife is/was Huma Abedin who is/was Hillary Clinton’s top aide and her name can be found on many of the emails that never go away. The documentary was shot by a cameraman who followed around Weiner as he did his day to day campaigning. He is using it to show the public what he endures for a sympathetic effect.
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McAfee in ’89
John McAfee is the founder of McAfee Virus Protection and suffers from severe paranoia. He moved to Belize where he is accused of murdering his neighbor. He fled to Guatemala, faked a heart attack so his appeal would be timely, then was extradited back to the United States. Back in the US he ran for the ’16 Libertarian party nominee only to lose to Gary Johnston.
Losing Touch With Reality
These two men were perfect for documentaries because they are not normal people. If there was a documentary about me there’d be about 2 minutes of worthwhile footage when I’d be black out drunk walking back from a bar. The rest would be me sitting behind a computer typing, rolling a ball down an alley, or watching TV.
These men are true characters. They are elevated by our society (Weiner for his fight for the middle class and McAfee for creating an Anti-Virus) and have more money than they know what to do with. This entitles them to act in ways that would ruin other people (I suppose they are both ruined in their own explosive ways) but allows them to have people follow them around in order to create documentaries about their wild life styles. Some highlights:
Weiner
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She’s done work for Brazzers. Don’t act like you don’t know what that is.
Sydney Leathers was the girl who he was sexting or having phone sex with 5 times a day. At the climax of his mayoral campaign loss, she was on Howard Stern and he goaded her to confront Anthony. Anthony caught wind that she was waiting for him outside his building and came up with a plan to avoid her in a secret stairwell. As he put his plan in motion being guarded by tons of security, she started chasing after him. He managed to avoid her. She’s 23 with huge juggs and known for nothing but sexting (and being a porn star).
- Huma could have been the worst wife I’ve seen (this is understandable knowing that your husband sends dick pics to many girls). If this is how most marriages are, I don’t want to marry. She was a cold hearted bitch whose allegiance was obviously for Hillary Clinton and she couldn’t stand Anthony most times. It makes me wonder why on Earth she married him. Of course his sexting could have been the straw that broke the camel’s back but this isn’t a guy who does anything discreetly so she should have known what she was getting into.
- My favorite moments were when people would question Anthony with, “how many other girls were there?” He would say something like, “I have no idea what constitutes illegal behavior so I don’t know how many girls there were.” He’d also fly off the deep end at reporters, hecklers, and talk show hosts. I found him moderately likable if you can get past his indiscretions with his wife.
McAfee
I was going to write Nanette Burstein on Twitter to tell her how fabulous a job she did depicting McAfee’s crazy side. This guy is ape shit mad. For the man to invent “anti virus” software, it’s no surprise he’s the most paranoid man I’ve ever seen.- He was worth 100’s of millions of dollars at some point, lost some in the crash (or so people reported), moved to Belize, and started to lay a new foundation for his life. He’d build houses for the poor folk, give the police equipment and vehicles, and employ many of the locals. Being a millionaire in Belize makes you a king and he tried to rule. He hired armed guards to protect his estate from people who were coming after him.
- His fetish was having a girl sit on a hammock and poop into his mouth. He had many younger prostitutes around at all times.
- He paid his hit-man 5k to kill his next door neighbor who had poisoned his dogs which roamed freely around his estate. The hit-man started laughing when the reporter asked if he did it. Since Belize has no forensic testing, no one was ever convicted. This man got 2nd place in our latest Libertarian election and still has a high profile in the US.
I’ve Learned…
That normal people don’t get documentaries made after them. It’s hard to say if there’s a missing gene that makes these people different. No one can deny that these 2 men are uniquely talented. Weiner was part of Congress for 7 years. McAfee created software that was on 67% of computers at one point. Deranged and delusional are good qualities to have to be entertaining. Anthony was guilty of telling the public that you apologize for sending a girls dick pics while in office and will never do it again…and then you do it again a few years later while you’re still married. McAfee hired hit-men to kill people while thinking he was above the law. There has to be some major disorder there. Without that disorder, you aren’t that fascinating.
Why Daily Fantasy Sports Are Doomed
I’m your casual DFS player. I have a full time job which prevents me from spending every waking hour thinking fantasy. I subscribe to a Fantasy site for what I’d like to deem as above average intelligence. I read Evan Silva’s match ups every week which is solid advice from someone who eats, breathes, and sleeps fantasy. Yet at the end of the day, from a financial perspective, there is no point for me to play daily fantasy sports and I’m not alone.
The Demise of DFS
My stats since the ’16 football season started. To date I’ve entered 49 tournaments and have lost $102. Placing 91st out of 65,687 entries in the NFL $9 Slant has been the highlight which netted $41. I tend to dabble in the $10-$20 range and these tournaments are not nearly as soft as you may think.
If I wanted to join a $20, 3 man league right now, I’d see 3 players sitting in 11 leagues of the same offering. AEJones. Condia. MakeitRain84. To someone who has never played before, they may enter one of these contests. To the people who pay even a little bit of attention, they’d wonder why on Earth are these guys playing $20 stakes and why don’t they play each other?
Some Player Background:
Just a 5 million dollar payday and he enters a $20 contest.
AeJones – Ranked #10 out of all players on Rotogrinders.com
Here’s a Reddit AMA titled “I’m Aaron Jones, 48 hours ago I made 5,000,000 playing Daily Fantasy Sports”
Condia – Ranked #56 – Condia Interview with RotoGrinders
MakeitRain84 – Ranked #53
Rnningfool – Ranked 5,300,000, maintains a killer blog.
This is like asking the 6th man of your high school basketball team to play Kevin Durant 1 v 1.
What To Do?
Draftkings has created leagues titled “Casual” leagues where players with experience badges cannot play. This is smart. However this was only implemented 3 weeks ago. I’ve played 156 total DK games which would qualify me for this. These leagues would solve my concerns not having to play against upper echelon competition. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know this existed and I’m sure others do either. Obviously Draftkings identified this as an issue. Casual leagues will not solve this problem of declining interest though.
The first week this season, the $20 entry Sunday Million had 1.4 million entrants. Last week only had 231k entrants. The game’s interest is slipping away from casual players for a key reason:
- Players losing money
My Take
“The entire DFS economy depends on about 5 percent of the players,” Singer said. “Those sharks will go away if they can’t make a profit.” – Washington Post
I do more research on football than 95% of my friends. If I can’t win, I wouldn’t expect them to either. This isn’t an egotistical claim. It’s fact of the matter that you are putting your money up against people where DFS is their livelihood. They have more money than you. More lineups. Better tools. Better networks. Better intelligence on how coaches game plan. It’s an uphill battle that makes 0 sense to play.
I look at it as an entertainment expense. People pay $15 for a movie and DFS is in the same exact grouping for casual players. I don’t doubt people will continue to play but it will be less and less each year as the realization that you won’t win gets clearer. This won’t prevent people from playing of course. Look at sports betting and poker. Millions of people gamble their pay checks away to casinos and sports books. The smart ones know there is no such thing as easy money. Hopefully this post clears up the idea that winning at DFS is not impossible, but you most likely aren’t going to do it.
E-A-G-L-E-S
Steve was gracious enough to invite me to the Eagles game on Sunday and it was too good an opportunity to pass up. The weather was absolutely perfect football weather and the birds actually won. We did some tailgating prior to the game but nothing out of control.
I’m not a die-hard Eagles fan but I do understand why some people get so hyped for the games. The atmosphere is electric when the team is playing well. Our seats were fairly high up but you have no problem seeing the whole game. I’d probably not want to go as badly if I was at one of the end zones. That being said, I had a good time and it’s a nice change of pace from watching Red Zone for 7 hours.
While still on the football topic, I’ve pretty much thrown in the towel until I get my mojo back. I’m down $200 in betting and $80 in draftkings. Over the course of 10 weeks it’s not tragic but I’m pretty much up shit’s creek without a paddle. My pick em’s are going to shit and my enthusiasm is waning. I’m using a combination of intellect and guesswork and missing the mark by a large margin. This too shall pass.
I’m in the same shitty boat in fantasy with the Wild Turkey’s being eliminated from contention this week. I dropped Ryan Mathews last week and that’s some decent symbolism of how my season has been going. I’m zigging when I should be zagging. I also suffered two losses in the other leagues which have me battling for the playoffs.
Bowling tonight. Keep it together Buster and spin this back around.
Stortz Tool’s #1 Employee
I present to you a Swingline Stapler. Some background:
The Model 27 Swingline Stapler was introduced in 1952 and “Improved” in 1954. I recall seeing these quite often at school growing up – not as omnipresent as the crinkle-grey boxy 1940’s Bostitches that permeated my childhood institutional memories, but still often enough that I remember them.
This Stapler is the oldest existing Stortz Tool employee. It sits on my desk and gets used on a daily basis stapling together sheets of paper like it was meant to do. I would say it’s a rarity to find a piece of equipment that works just as well now as it did when it was produced 60+ years ago. Here’s to another lifetime!
Overcoming the Trip
One day in September I was bowling and couldn’t remember how I started my approach. I started doing the batter’s box dance that Marla Hooch was doing when Geena Davis and Tom Hanks were both giving her signs to try to figure it out. It continued to league night when I was afraid I was going to trip head first down the lane. It was purely a mental speed bump and fortunately I was able to overcome it.
As luck would have it, it happened to me again while I was running on a treadmill. When the weather gets a little cooler, I tend to run indoors more which spurred this trauma. I would be running on the treadmill and would get this feeling that my legs were going to fall over one another. It prevented me from jacking up the speed for fear of serious injury. Last night I went for a treadmill run and the feeling was completely gone. It’s like I overcame the fear and am now running and feeling better than I ever have.
The reason I post this is because I think it has to do with improving. It took a mental hurdle preventing me from taking that next step. For the bowling, for once I had to focus on my form and nail down exactly what I wanted to do. I had never really thought deeply about it before. With running I think it was my form being a bit off and it needed some adjustment. Considering I’m bowling better than ever and I would guess I could break 17 in a 5k, it was for the best.
And for the bowling nerds who read my blog, you’ll notice my first game is not nearly as good as my last. I asked the old league pro and he told me I needed a more reactive ball in the beginning. Makes sense now.
The People Have Spoken!
This is a what a democracy looks like. All the butt hurt democrats who can’t believe that Trump won, and flock to Facebook to complain that they can’t believe this is happening should realize that the people have spoken. You may not agree with the decision, but you should accept it.
Read an example of this genius from the New Yorker and the article he wrote asking what Trump is even doing in Michigan and Wisconsin. This. This. This is what I love. I was Skankhunt42’ing this guy last night by the way. If you don’t get that reference, for god sake start watching South Park. We are going to get 4 more years of Mr. Garrison as TRUMP!
Painful to reread this @JohnCassidy piece right now… https://t.co/E3ft5aXJpb
— Chris Gehrz (@cgehrz) November 9, 2016
I’m actually in glee and it’s not because Trump is the President, but it’s because all the Democrats were flat out wrong. When the Vegas odds have a candidate at -400, then moves to -1500, and ends up losing by a fairly wide margin, the underdog gets to feel some feeling of amazement. Their smear campaigned failed miserably and the public wanted to change the current political structure. If you can’t get that through your head, and you think that it’s because people WANT Trump, it’s more because they don’t want Hillary. The “uneducated” people showed that the Democratic candidate and the current regime are not the popular opinion.
No more Partying in the USA!
There’s actually a lot of good news that goes along with Trump winning. These celebrities said they weren’t going to live in the USA:
Miley Cyrus
Amy Schumer
Lena Dunham
Jon Stewart
Cher
Ne-Yo
Whoopi Goldberg
Neve Cambpell
George Lopez
Good Riddance! Your country built you up and now you have to find some allegiance in the Middle East where I’m sure you’ll like their President just as much. Ta-Ta. Ciao. Au Revoir. BON VOYAGE!
Ladies and Gentlemen – Our New President!
Could have got the guy at +400. What a bizarre election. Consider Trump raised 795 million and Hillary used 1.3 billion…just saying. The guy is a mad man and the world markets are crumbling but this guy needs to be given some credit to pull off one of the greatest upsets in the history of upsets. Hillary was -1500 to win at one point. You can’t count out the Donald. Here’s to 4 unpredictable years.
Madison Ivy’s Life
Madison Ivy is a fascinating, unique individual. She does/did porn which keeps her out of the conservative’s public eye but she’s a fan favorite among all males. If you haven’t heard of her you are probably lying. I’d say she’s my #2 of all time between a tie at #1 with young Jenna Jameson and young Bree Olsen. She is also my most read post which is urging me on to write a sequel on her story.
I reviewed her Twitter feed for this post and prior to her car accident, she posted mostly promotion for her porn. Post – accident it’s mostly her drawings and insights into her life which are far more interesting.
Life Facts:
She got into a car accident and was nearly killed
420madisonivy – For anyone who doesn’t know, I won’t be posting stuff for a while. I was the passager in a car accident about 10 days ago, I’ve been in the hospital ever since. I fractured my spine and tore my stomach open, it’s going to be a long slow road to recovery. I can still move my legs luckily, but i will be off my feet for a month maybe 2, maybe longer we are still unsure. All things happen for a reason and I am just happy to be alive. Live life, love, rave and just know even when life is hard you have love of good people around you. #spreadloveandpositivity #SmileMore
Comin back from less than a 8% chance of survival, I think it’s time for a beer ?? next….. @… https://t.co/gqzoRGOS0V
— Madison Ivy (@Madison420Ivy) September 18, 2016
She was home schooled
Thanks so much! I was the awkward homeschooled kid Ur family warned U about. ?Really started teaching myself to draw when I turned 13. https://t.co/1Sq0JANPIs
— Madison Ivy (@Madison420Ivy) November 6, 2016
She likes Dragon Ball Z
Need this lamp in my life ??#DragonBallZ pic.twitter.com/h1Y8O5zBFf
— Madison Ivy (@Madison420Ivy) October 17, 2016
She’s a great artist
Probably one of my most favorite doodles i’ve ever done. #Love #Predator pic.twitter.com/NFBTwEj8ED
— Madison Ivy (@Madison420Ivy) October 22, 2015
She loves getting high
Time 2 relax ?? thx 2 my best friends #MamaUnicorn175 & @gregglillie 4 my new favorite pipe! ? #HisNameIsFred pic.twitter.com/gkbWlshW37
— Madison Ivy (@Madison420Ivy) October 31, 2016
Post Accident
Early scene with Lexi Belle
I’m enjoying Madison Ivy’s persona more as a normal person than a porn star. She’s obviously a beautiful, talented person who went the way of porn. I imagine most people don’t view pornstars as “normal” people and look down upon them for their sinful ways. I take the opinion as long as the person isn’t being mistreated and enjoys doing it (which I’m sure isn’t everyone), it’s how that person chooses to live their life. I’m blown away by Madison for a few reasons:
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Oozes sex
She evolved to be one of the greatest pornstars of our generation. I wrote this post back in 2013 and her stardom was still on the rise. Her scenes started as a little girl and moved into the consummate professional.
- It’s amazing to see her artistic talents and to learn that she was home-schooled. She was born in Germany so I don’t know if that was a little town or if she was raised in the United States but it’s odd to see a home schooled person launch into success (maybe it happens all the time. I have no idea.) Seeing someone outside of society’s “normal” education system is awesome. Especially one like her.
- I guess I like seeing people be themselves and I think she does that to her fullest. I hope her recovery continues in a positive light. Christ I feel like I know the girl after doing this research. Marry me.
