About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Election Day 11/8/16

Strictly Megan Fox Filler

Strictly Megan Fox filler

 

I woke up at 2:30 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. This rarely happens. At 3, I decided to update the running log which I will be updating weekly. Next I wrote a post on why the Sixers suck but decided against posting it until I iron out the exact point I’m trying to get across. I tried going back to sleep around 4 but was tossing and turning so I decided to start the day. Classic JC move.

It’s 5:45 now and I made a drastic pivot from a Sesame Seed bagel to a Cinnamon Raisin. Bring in the new regime. The WSJ was also delivered so I’ll get a chance to do the crossword as well. I almost finished it to completion yesterday for the first time without any help. The bottom left stuck me especially “mischievous type.” It was rascal.

0412trumpclintonmissouriWith election day upon us it’s appropriate to address the fundamental problem with this country and that’s the divide. No matter who wins, someone is going to be upset. Although this is the case with most elections, for some reason or another this year seems especially tumultuous. I won’t be upset either way as I’m mostly a lemming when it comes to politics. You can bet your bottom dollar though that I’m not venturing outside of my house or work once the decision is made. One of the primary skills of being a human is survival and I’m not taking my chances with the yahoos when whoever is elected. My thought is that the rest of the world would like to see Hillary win (as well as women and Hispanics) but the white men not in power want to see Trump. Good luck America.

By |2016-11-08T06:02:03-05:00November 8th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

Learning to Use Pages and Sliders

post-page1To have a blog for 6 years and never venture into the page structure is mind bending. If you come to my blog on a regular basis you’ll notice 2 new “pages” in the top Navigation bar title “Boner Material” and “Running Log“. If you click on those links, NSFW for the Boner Material, you’ll be taken to a page that is using a Fusion Slider. Pretty cool, right? In the much tamer “Running Log”, I’m going to be updating this page on a regular basis with the runs I’ve been doing. Instead of a post that gets lost through the years, the page will always be there.

I have a lot of work to do on the Boner Material and I’m sort of up in the air on how I want to proceed. If I didn’t have so much damn content on it, I’d probably forgo the exercise but what can I say that I have moving material that deserves it’s on page. 6 years of added up content will do that do you. My plan will be to organize the Sports posts and Life posts as well. This is a time consuming exercise but it’ll be well worth it in the end. It should take this side from a 3 to a 5 quickly. Let me know if you have any suggestions because I’m learning as I go.

By |2016-11-04T10:01:04-04:00November 4th, 2016|My Brain|2 Comments

The Hyper Sensitive Whiny Bitches

I grew up privileged. I never had to worry about food, shelter, or war like conditions. I was given all the opportunities to succeed and I’d like to think I’m making the most of them. My perspective on this topic is heartless and crass but for god sakes this country has lost their mind.

  • 04blind-xlarge1Companies Face Lawsuits Over Website Accessibility For Blind Users – Rnningfool.com got hit with a law suit because a blind person couldn’t see the images of all the hot babes I post and needed audio to alert him that she was a perfect 10. “Blind people are not going to be able to thrive and live the lives they want to live if they don’t have equal access to websites,” said Christopher Danielsen, spokesman for the National Federation of the Blind. The real problem is this comment, “Most settle quickly, for between $10,000 and $75,000, lawyers involved say, with the money typically going toward plaintiffs’ attorneys’ fees and expenses.” It means the blind are winning. To put some perspective, 39 million people on this Earth are blind. Out of 7 billion. That’s less than 1%. I’m not saying I don’t want blind people’s rights. But the expectation that every website should be suitable for the blind is absurd. The National Federation should create a website specifically for the blind and sell them goods. Yes, it’s exclusion .Yes, it’s not right. Yes, it’s what’s known as practical.  Give it a rest.

 

  • 76ers Anthem Singer BasketballSixers Apologize for Not Letting the “We Matter” Girl Sing – This is a basketball game, not a political rally. People watch basketball because it’s fun and takes their mind off of real life problems. Sevyn, the name of the women, decided to turn it into a Colin Kapernick political stance which is exactly the wrong way of going about getting attention. Does she volunteer at her local soup kitchen? Is she active in her community? Does she donate to charity? Perhaps the answer is yet but you get my point that there are other ways to demonstrate “We Matter”. She’s in fact doing the opposite. Let’s say that Sixers let her perform and the 16,000 people in the stands, only 1,000 of who are paying attention see her shirt, then what? Nothing. What actually happened was the Sixers smartly decided that they didn’t want to deal with this unwanted attention BECAUSE IT’S A BASKETBALL GAME and pulled her. Now the hyper sensitive get wind of the situation and blow it out of proportion and force the Sixers to apologize to show that they aren’t racist bigots. If people are tuned in to our world by any means, they are well aware that “We Matter”.  Start actively helping rather than spreading the message through negative publicity.

  • cleveland_indians_logo-svgCleveland Not a Winner Until They Drop Chief Wahoo – This isn’t a history lesson by any means but the Indians and the early settlers go back to the early 1600’s when John Smith banged Pocahontas. Fast forward hundreds of years and the white man used their guns to shoot people who were using bow and arrows. In a feeling of remorse, the white person gave the Indians casinos so they’re culture could survive in this world because the last thing they want to do is adapt. The team began in the 1900’s when there must have been more Indians in Cleveland and the logo is said to honor Native Americans. Here’s where I have to ask, what is the big deal? You don’t like being called Indians? You don’t like a baseball team that goes to the World Series? It gives Native Americans a bad name? No one outside of them gives a shit! The only reason people even are making it a controversy is because the group is making it one. If the roles were reversed and the Native American tribes had a team called the “Rednecks”, I promise you white American’s wouldn’t give a shit and they’d probably cheer them on rather than take offense.“We do have empathy for those who take issue with it,” Dolan said. “We have minimized the use of it and we’ll continue to do what we think is appropriate.”Chief Wahoo isn’t permanently going away, though. “It is part of our history and legacy,” Dolan said. Seems like a reasonable response to me.

 

  • 160302005451-trump-and-hillary-exlarge-169The Election – Saving the best for last. Do we truly live in a democracy? I know jack shit about the electoral college but voters of divided up districts determine which way an “elector” will cast their vote. Each state has a certain amount of electoral votes which when 50 states are summed up total 538. Whoever reaches 270 electoral votes wins the election. Both Trump and Clinton this year have a shot at winning. More information on why they will be bad presidents is spat out than why they will make good ones. I can’t feel good telling anybody who I’m voting for because I, like 99% of our country, don’t understand how politics work. Can you tell me what decisions the President makes which have no checks and balances? You are telling me that one man or woman can make or break this country? I don’t believe it. It’s called adapting and whoever is elected President, our country will make it work. It’s not like the sky is falling and our nation will collapse if Donald and his absurd talk or Hillary and her lying self get elected. Life will move on.
By |2016-11-03T14:49:50-04:00November 3rd, 2016|My Brain|1 Comment

I Hate Dog Owners

I live on a small street of row houses that gets little car traffic. People are walking their dog’s pretty frequently through it. Unbeknownst to me when I purchased this house is that is across the only tree on the street. It looks like this.

tcstreet

So last night, doing my due diligence as I property owner, I cleaned up the leaves that had gathered across from my house. I put my gloves on and got a trash bag. I’m guessing you know where this is going. It was night time and I couldn’t see anything but the leaves. As I scooped the leaves into the bag I ran into a dog shit. It absolutely reeked, got on my gloves, and I was practically dry heaving from the smell. I wanted to take the dog’s shit and shove it into the owner’s mouth who didn’t clean it up. This is a problem in the city.

There are too many people who don’t clean up dog shit. If you don’t want to clean it up, you shouldn’t have the pet. I’m thinking of starting a neighborhood watch and start taking pictures of the shit and posting them on telephone poles. People need to know this is unacceptable.

dogshit

The way that Sydney walks in this movie should also seriously piss you off. Why would anyone walk like this unless they are trying to be a complete douchebag? Even if you were trying to be a douche you wouldn’t walk like that.

By |2016-11-03T09:37:24-04:00November 3rd, 2016|My Brain|2 Comments

Time For a Rain Delay and a Trump Ad

Tell me that these two series of events aren’t working together? Fox hits you with a striking blow, anti-Hillary ad, and then nails you with a rain delay. You’re sitting there thinking about corrupt Hillary and thinking PA might be a swing state. It’s Fox News, the ultimate republican airing this? If Donald wins this election and you wonder what the major home run may have been. It was this.

By |2016-11-03T00:05:27-04:00November 3rd, 2016|My Brain|0 Comments

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By |2016-11-01T23:14:52-04:00November 1st, 2016|My Life|2 Comments

The 1-0 Man!

This was not my most profitable weekend and I blame myself.

post-50621-drew-carey-welcome-to-fantasy-rduwI sent a text to Adam that said I was done pussy footing around with my gambling account and put 7.5 units on MSU which won. I then won an Oregon bet for 5 units and lost 5 on a random late night Saturday bet. Fine day.

I started Sunday betting 7.5 on the Bucs which failed. In half drunken stupor fashion, I put 15 on the Eagles which was a heart breaker. This left my account at 5 units. I put a hail Mary bet on the Bears and am now back to 9 in the account and down 11 for the season. Current records:  NFL 19-16, +5.5 units, CFB 6-7, +5 units

I’ve made bets on Soccer, Basketball, E-League, so it’s tough to tell exactly where the units go considering I’m up on both football but this doesn’t count the juice and as you can tell, over time, you don’t beat the juice. I also managed to lose all my Draftkings entries for -$49. I’m exactly even after 8 weeks of the season.

The bottom line is that I’m not a winner gambling. I’m down $110 dollars after 8 weeks in Bovada and 0 in Draftkings. If you told me it would cost me $15 dollars each week to watch the games and enjoy the action, I’d say I think I’d take it. Even with all the time spent though, I can’t win.

My fantasy teams are sitting in 1st, 2nd, and 8th.

By |2016-11-01T09:28:09-04:00November 1st, 2016|Fantasy|0 Comments

Million Dollar Idea Outline

How did I not post this at the time?

I was sitting and thinking last night about what it takes to have a million dollar idea.  I know it’s important to think big so I broke down what I knew to be true and took it from there.

Target Market: Men

What All Men Want:

  • More Money – If you asked 100 men if they could use more money 99% would say yes
  • Bigger Penis – This isn’t a necessity but it’s rare if someone would refuse an extra inch or two on their dick

This leads to the million dollar question, how can you make money by growing your penis?

 

By |2016-10-29T12:54:49-04:00October 29th, 2016|My Brain|0 Comments

Why You Should Listen to Me

Another draft. This post ending was pretty terrific.

 

Nothing on Earth makes a human feel more alive than being right by predicting the future. Putting your intelligence on display and having it pay off is what it takes for people to start taking you seriously. When you have your own blog, you force people to pay attention. That’s what is happening here whether you like it or not.

Back on Feb 27th I said that this Modest Mouse song was great. This Monday I heard the song being played on AltNation. They were 2+ months behind me. My ability to hear a hit off an album was evident.

kendraThis is a post I wrote about the girl who masturbated in a library bathroom for a few minutes. I started following her on Twitter and she now has 33k followers. I would not be surprised to see her hit 6 figures. Her account has since been suspended but I know it was over 6 figures because her new one has over 50k. This happened in about 2 months.

I know what you’re thinking, big deal. If I were reading it I would say the same thing. HOWEVER, I’m going to actually wow you with these next few:

By |2016-10-29T12:33:25-04:00October 29th, 2016|My Brain|0 Comments

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