We Don't Walk Slow

Quick weekend post to separate my other posts

This weekend was pretty uneventful from other weekends. I think people probably expect me to go into great detail about our softball game but blowouts like we had are better just untold. The other team played 4 or 5 girls, had them bat, and were basically inept. We held them to one run and tacked on about 15. Shee was the bright spot at the hot corner for innings 6 and 7. Bake and Ck4’s base running was abysmal but hardly worth mentioning. Sad to say that this game won’t get truly documented by me.

Friday was a pretty ho-hum night and Saturday wasn’t any better. I listened to music all day with Gusto on Saturday which I found more entertaining then most other options. Gusto has the biggest music collection out of anyone I know and has a genuine knowledge and passion for music. He made a list of the top 25 artists of all-time who I will share and give my opinion on his list. I could make my own but starting from someone who knows more than you is probably easier. Many people have problems admitting other people know more then them but without that understanding, how are you ever supposed to learn?

This the point I want to make. You can ask a 15 year old girl in the 2000’s who the best musicians of all time are and she’d say Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, and Britney. She’s not wrong in her own mind but that’s the beauty of individuality and creating a list of this magnitude. Gusto and I talked a lot about music and why our current state of music isn’t producing sounds like the Beatles or Bruce. I think that his list of 25 artists will give people who generally don’t care much about music, an idea of someone who really likes music thinks is the best.

I just want to add that most people are clueless about music. People listen to pop music and songs with a catch but the artists on this list have more musical ability, more substance to their lyrics, and more creativity than the “popular” music of today. Songs of today are chasing the buck and not making good music. I will post 21-25 of Gusto’s list tomorrow.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-08T21:58:49-04:00May 8th, 2011|Music|0 Comments

Chuck Klosterman’s 23 questions – Question 1

I’m going to answer all 23 of Chuck’s questions from the book Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. This book was one of my favorite reads in a long time. It’s relevance isn’t as prominent in 2011 as it was in 2004 but as is, I read the book in 2011. He has 23 questions he poses to understand what type of a person you are. I assume he probably has answers he deems “acceptable” or at least a few ideas to consider when answering the question. I’m pretty much a neanderthal when I consider my opinions vs Chucks but I still think this should be entertaining. Plus it gives me 23 topics to write about, meaning 23 posts of not have to be create my own entries. Start with 1, I’ll try to do a couple a day.

Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks – he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can’t learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he’s doing these five tricks with real magic. It’s not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He’s legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

I’m fairly certain the specific ideas of Albert Einstein aren’t important but the understanding that he developed his expertise from math and science, concrete data, to prove his theories is what counts. Albert is impressive in the sense that he developed physics concepts that are groundbreaking for achieving events that are so far over my head I’m not going to even try to explain. The question being asked is whether a magician who is really magical more impressive then creating explainable theories like Einsteins?

My thought is that the magician is way more impressive. The magician is actually defying the laws of physics where as Einstein is just explaining them. I don’t know about anyone else but I 100% don’t believe in magical acts. Things don’t just happen for no reason because of some hocus pocus. If a magician was really popping rabbits out of nowhere, that would blow away anything Einstein could do. Other questions are can the magician explain what he’s doing or can he just do it because he can? Learning from this particular being would have more value to society then just popping out rabbits. The potential for this service of “magic” sounds like it doesn’t have many limits compared to the rules in Albert’s world.

On a side note, I think if we limit the magician to just the magic he has available, how impressive is this act really. Just because the magician is defying our current “laws of physics” doesn’t mean that there is any practicality to what he’s doing. If we wanted to over populate the world with rabbits we are all set but his schtick is going to get old and people will eventually not even be impressed by his amazing “magic.” The practicality to Einsteins theory of relativity and all the advancements because of it are much more impressive. The physics world is so far out of my league to really comment but I’m sure Einstein’s work is something not every Joe Blow is able to come up with.

So my answer to which is more impressive is the magician’s way of magic but Einstein’s work has much more practicality to it and in an overall sense is more impressive. Humans are an amazing race with the ability to adapt and if they can learn from the magic, you have your winner.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-08T21:37:27-04:00May 8th, 2011|My Brain|0 Comments

Couple Concepts

This post is going to be jumping around a few ideas but I figure you can make do. Here are a few things that I notice that I want to to point out to my audience.

I call this the follow the leader approach. When you are at a red light with a “no turn on red” sign most likely you will wait for the light to turn green before you turn. Amazingly, all it takes is the person in front of you to disregard the sign and that completely alters any existing rules. It’s the follow the leader mentality. If they did it, then I can do it too. It’s like the game lemmings where they all just start falling off the cliff. I think our society is filled with millions of people who can’t make up their mind so they just follow the leader. It’s really an amazing concept and I’m sure there have been tests and experiments to really look into this concept but I’m just fascinated by it. My guess is the “leader” is usually a successful person and the followers are your average Joe.

I’d like to discuss giving people business because of relationships. This is a thought that any successful business knows. Make your customers comfortable and try to create a relationship so they will give you repeat business. I was buying a running watch and I knew I could give the business to a local running company who I’ve shopped at for years. They opened at 10am and it was 9am so I decided to try Dick’s Sporting goods. I honestly felt like a traitor by not buying from my local store. I had this human feeling of preferring to help out a local company rather then give my business to a corporate chain. This feeling is going out the window in today’s business environment to a certain degree. The success to business is to have people WANT to buy from you.

A form of bad business is tricking people into watching video’s with links. For some reason I don’t like watching video’s on the web for news. If I want to see sports highlights I’ll watch sportscenter on the TV. I hate when I click on a link expecting to see an article and I get duped into watching a video. There’s something about being kept for the duration of the video that I just prefer an article. If I’m not into the article in the first 10 seconds I click out. When I see a 90 second clip, I feel locked in. I don’t mind if you tell me it’s a video but I don’t like finding out I got tricked into one.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-24T23:16:44-04:00May 6th, 2011|My Brain|0 Comments

2011 Maxim Hot 100

Maxim top 100 Hottest Girls

Here is a list of Maxim’s top 100 with my comments next to the girls name. I don’t know of everyone so I’m only going to comment on the one’s I know.

100. Melanie Iglesias
99. Candace Bailey
98. Camilla Belle
97. Hope Dworaczyk
96. Sophie Monk – The 3some girl in Entourage, not bad.
95. Serinda Swan
94. Alessandra Torresani
93. Kelli Hutcherson
92. Nicky Whelan
91. Erin Andrews – Erin has a funky nose but she’s undoubtedly attractive. The fact she reports sports bumps her up notches.
90. Lauren Storm
89. Lyndsy Fonseca
88. Daniela Ruah
87. Emmanuelle Vaugier
86. Autumn Reeser
85. Rachelle Leah
84. Paz De la Huerta – This is the Nookie’s girl from Boardwalk Empire and she is just not hot enough for this list.
83. Carly Craig
82. Kelly Kelly – Two first names, wtf?
81. Gabrielle Union – I’m not generally attracted to black females but she is absolutely gorgeous.
80. Danica McKellar – Winnie? Seriously? Yes she’s an attractive girl but she can’t be part of the top 100.
79. Mini Anden
78. JWOWW – When compared to Snooki and Deena she’s good looking but she seems kind of trashy and beat in my mind. Her boobs look nice though.
77. Anna Chapman
76. Diora Baird
75. Nicki Minaj – She has a fat ass and a unique look to her. I actually can see how people think she’s really hot.
74. Laura Vandervoort
73. Jamie Chung
72. Stacy Keibler – My number 1 always.
71. Taylor Cole
70. Arianny Celeste – I never saw her before this hot 100 but I think she should be in the top 10. She’s a UFC girl, uber cute, and a nice body. Awesome looking.
69. Emma Watson – Uhh what? Isn’t this the girl whose movies I’ve never seen because she’s only 13? I don’t see it.
68. Anna Paquin – I can never think of anything else about her other then the gap in her teeth. I don’t think she’s good enough for this list but she has her own sense of attractiveness.
67. Ciara
66. Aly Michalka
65. Elisha Cuthbert – Yes, another one of my top 10. I love the blonde hair and her face is so beautiful. I would do bad things to her.
64. Miley Cyrus – Don’t see it. Just seems too childish and country for me.
63. Ana De la Reguera
62. Whitney Port
61. Eva Amurri
60. Kelly Brook
59. Grace Park
58. Christina Aguilera – I think Christina looks great all the time.
57. Audrina Patridge – I would marry her.
56. Christina Hendricks
55. Joanna Krupa
54. Vanessa Hudgens – Absolutely not. Zac Efron can keep her.
53. Ashley Greene
52. Minka Kelly
51. Nicole Scherzinger – Pussycat dolls singer, I think she’s average but probably has a killer body from all that dancing.
50. Selita Ebanks
49. Alison Brie
48. Julianne Hough – Purest looking girl on the list.
47. Odette Annable
46. Beau Garrett
45. Emmanuelle Chriqui – Sloane is the perfect looking female. Plus in real life I’m sure she is exactly like Sloane in Entourage so she’s the perfect girlfriend.
44. Anna Faris – I’ve never understood her. She was beat in Scary Movie and then all of a sudden people decided she was hot. She’s still not.
43. Naya Rivera
42. Emma Stone – Jules from Superbad just doesn’t do it for me.
41. Jaimie Alexander
40. Hilary Duff – She seems like a skeleton to me.
39. Rebecca Mader
38. Lindsay Lohan – Maybe in her Mean Girls days but now she’s a drugged up coke whore.
37. Zoe Saldana
36. Brooklyn Decker – Andy Roddick is a lucky man.
35. Kim Kardashian – Best curves. Unfortunately came to fame from a sex tape.
34. Avril Lavigne – I think she’s really cute in a weird way. Very nice looking.
33. Dania Ramirez
32. Emmy Rossum
31. Evan Rachel Wood
30. Amanda Bynes – I think she’s grown into a hot piece of ass. Very nice.
29. Sofia Vergara – Old for the list but I love Gloria. Awesome boobs. The w/o makeup pic makes me question her real beauty.
28. Lea Michele – NO F’ING way. Just not a hot 100 type of girl. I see how people see how she can be cute but I think this is absurd to have her this high.
27. Michelle Trachtenberg – I don’t see it in her. She’s very normal looking in my mind.
26. Kate Middleton – Wouldn’t be on this list if she wasn’t “in” right now.
25. Britney Spears – Maybe 10 years ago. Get back in shape and we’ll talk. Pretty face though.
24. Sarah Shahi
23. Brittany Snow – I’m surprised she’s got this high recognition because I do love her but I figured she isn’t well known.
22. Rihanna – An ethnic type, I’m not incredibly attracted to her.
21. Jessica Alba – I’m over the Alba phase.
20. Taylor Swift – Sort of a distinctive look. Seems really innocent which I think dirty people find attractive.
19. Anna Kournikova – A staple to this list. An example of hotness.
18. Eva Mendes – Ehhh, I see it sometimes but I’m not overly excited by her.
17. Megan Fox – So 2 years ago.
16. Leighton Meester – So, So
15. Olivia Wilde – She was 1 one year and I don’t think she should even make the list.
14. Scarlett Johansson – The office scene in “he’s just not that into you” is burned in my mind.
13. Kaley Cuoco
12. January Jones
11. Jordana Brewster – Too thick eyebrows.
10. Jennifer Lawrence
9. Cobie Smulders
8. Natalie Portman – Everyone goes nuts over her but I just think she’s average. I just can’t look past the Star Wars movies and she never came off as hot to me. Even Black Swan she just isn’t what I consider “hot”.
7. Anne Hathaway – She really has grown on me. I think she has a pretty face.
6. Bar Refaeli – Looks nice and has a great body for a swimsuit model.
5. Mila Kunis – Looks like Haley from Modern family. I do think she’s pretty, especially in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
4. Cameron Diaz – My biggest disagreement on the whole list. What the hell are people smoking? She isn’t the least bit attractive. Where do people get this from her?
3. Katy Perry – Yes I love Katy. She has a distinctive look, great boobs, and her singing just makes her hotter.
2. Olivia Munn – Yuck!
1. Rosie Huntington Whiteley – WOW. NO WAY should she be number 1. She looks homely to me. Must suck a mean one to get to 1.

Where’s Kristen Bell? Where’s Jessica Biel? How is Rachel higher then Quinn? I don’t know how some of these girls got on the list. I know I’m not the best critic of this list either because I’m biased to blondes and boobs. It basically takes the hottest of the hot for me to like them if they have black or red hair. Plus I favor the white folk. Hope you enjoyed my shallowness.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:21:26-04:00May 6th, 2011|Boobs|1 Comment

Constant Updates and Total Attention

The year is 2011 and we as humans are constantly evolving. I think my theme to this post is constant information. I know my blog seemingly harps on Facebook and now twitter, more often then not, but that’s because I tend to view things that are successful with more attention then things that aren’t. These sites are tremendously popular because they provide a network of constant updates. People want to be constantly informed about up to the minute details. 20 years ago it wasn’t possible to find out news until some TV network let you know about it. 10 years ago it was up to websites to produce news using the internet as its medium and you needed search engines to help you find that news. Now you have these sites with hundreds of millions of users where anyone, anywhere can fill you in on some news somewhere AT THE TIME IT’S HAPPENING. The speed at which things happen nowadays is just mind boggling.

Now combine this extensive network of information with a social aspect and you have companies like facebook valued at a 50 billion dollars. People can’t even put a value on it because creating a network of 600 million people is unheard of. Why is it so successful? People love the attention and they love the feeling of updated information. I’ve been using twitter and after using it, I feel the need for constant updates from a wide variety of bullshit. My mind constantly wants to be filled with new information whether it be about the latest celebrity’s lifestyle, the newest music video, or the most recent news about Osama. These websites make it so I don’t have to pass the time watching re-runs of Saved by the Bell. I’m actually learning and keeping myself up to date with society. It’s almost information overload because there is so much crap in between things that are actually pertinent.

When I was younger things didn’t really strike me the way they do today. Years ago it was like, here’s a site called facebook, I can find friends, this is pretty neat. Now it’s like, here’s a site called facebook, it has 600 million users, it’s value is 50 billion dollars, how can I capitalize on its success and why is it so popular? I like to think, this is the present, what is becoming the past, what is the future? Google, Apple, Facebook, Twitter are the names of the present. The past are companies like BestBuy, AOL, Blockbuster, Rimm. Now answer this next question and you’ll never have to work again. What companies are going to be the wave of the future? What are the next technologies that are going to shape the way the world exists? Finding these answer and investing in these companies makes the idea of working an afterthought. You can actually be just as successful if you can pick companies with outdated technology that are going to fail. Take BestBuy with it’s array of Cd’s and Blue Ray discs. Who wants to have inventory of that when people are streaming data from NetFlix and Hulu. ByeBye BestBuy.

People will continue to shop using the internet until it makes up more than physical shopping. I want to give you an idea that I still think it brilliant. I came up with the idea of a I Want It Now store. Basically you request and item and it’s brought to you within, say the hour. This concept is going to happen sooner than you think. Come up with a network that can produce goods to people within one hour and you have yourself a business concept that I assure you will catch on.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-05T16:43:19-04:00May 5th, 2011|My Brain|0 Comments

Catalina Cruz my darling

I went to the Dr. today for my final checkup on my ankle. He said that everything is stable and it’s healing fine. He said I’m 5-6 weeks from playing Bball which is what I expected. I don’t have to go back any longer so that should end this era of my life. Being broken wasn’t a whole lot of fun and it helps me appreciate being able bodied. I’ve started to run again and even though I still can’t hit top speed I think I ran about 3 sub 7 minute miles on the track yesterday. In bizarre fashion the velcro portion of my wrist watch completely detached. Now I think this is a scenario where some people may try to go back to the manufacturer because it’s only been 2 years, but I’m just going to buy a new one. I keep the watch in the shower because it’s usually gross with my sweat and after runs so I just shower, clean the watch, and leave it in there. I think some body wash or shampoo must not have been cleaned off of the velcro portion and it disintegrated the glue holding it together. So I went to Dick’s today at 9am, it was actually 8:56 but they wouldn’t let me in till 9 which had me wondering wtf, but then I asked if they had wrist watches and he told me they had pedometers and heart monitors. So a major chain like Dick’s didn’t carry a wrist watch to time myself so I have to go to a running store and get a new watch. Interesting morning I know.

I’ve also started developing an interest in twitter. I’ll give my quick review after starting to actually use the service. It’s like the facebook newsfeed except you choose the people who are doing the updates. So rather then having my boring friends updates with pointless comments and mindless thoughts, I get to read Charlie Sheen, Jud Apatow, or even the President update me with current news. Plus the people you follow, in my opinion, is a selective process and should be your unique preferences rather than every a-hole out there. I started with friends, then my favorite bands, then movie stars, then sports figures, and then finally pornstars. The whole following people seems a bit unusual because I have random whores following my account and I can’t really understand why. The best part is that you can actually interact with some of the “celebs” on twitter. For instance, I saw a post my Catalina Cruz that said “going for a run” so I replied to her post “how do you run with your boobs being so big” and she responded “it’s easy, they aren’t that massive.” I thought the whole interaction was pretty funny because you can be a smart ass and interact with, well maybe her or at least her assistant. I’ve only just started using it but I do see its allure and find it entertaining and a good time waster. Plus it couldn’t do anything but drive traffic to my blog which is a good thing. Below is a picture of Catalina Cruz, my new twitter friend. I also admire her because she’s an entrepreneur and runs 15 adult websites. I lover her for her brains and business sense and nothing else…

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:21:24-04:00May 5th, 2011|Boobs|0 Comments

All Aboard

The Shee and I went golfing yesterday at Pennsauken Country Club. He had off and I left work at about 2:45 to get a round in. We usually don’t cross the bridge to NJ to play these courses so it was a first time for both of us. The rate was 43 dollars which was excessive for a 3:30 tee time on a weekday but w/o a cart was only 25. The course was less then 6,000 yards and relatively short. I would say the condition was one notch above terrible. I really can’t recommend this course to anyone and wouldn’t mind never playing it again. It’s one of those courses that brings you down to its level. I think on one hole I hit from a brown piece sod, mud, a pine cone, and then rock hard dirt. It doesn’t bother me if the course has thick rough as long as it’s grass but I mind hitting out of these other conditions that just make for awkward golf. I finished 96 but even that score is illegitimate because I had two holes where I couldn’t put 2 drives in play and instead of hitting 5 from the tee box, I dropped hitting 5 where my 2nd drive went out. Even with the below average course, the Shee and I had a pretty good time and I’ll try to incorporate some afternoon rounds more often.

If you follow my blog closely you’ll know I said to buy the stock MOBI. I got in at 7 bucks, it ran to 22 dollars, and now is back down to $13.50. The stock is a real roller coaster and I wish I would have jumped off at the 22. Instead I’ve been swinging around a thousands of dollars a day because it’s been dropping 20+% for the last 2 days. At only a 2k investment I’m certainly getting plenty of action. I can also no longer recommend this stock as people are claiming the accounting is funky. They have a conference call today to explain what is going on so hopefully that is some good news. When stocks start swinging like this you wonder what you have gotten yourself into.

In the biggest news of this post, Sirius (another stock I own, has risen above 2) changed their entire music lineup. They think they are doing something great by re-organizing the channels but it is really just complicating my life. Alt-Nation is 36 not 47, the 20 on 20 is now 3 which doesn’t even make sense. This has a major impact on my life and now I’m in the music abyss swapping from station to station hoping to find a good song. I feel like just telling people we are swapping wouldn’t be as good as somehow creating an option of staying with the old lineup.

In less exciting news and I’m not sure why I always have to comment on my breakfast habits, I can’t figure out why I can’t get a fresh bagel each morning. Sometimes its stale and sometimes it’s perfectly fresh. I just want to express my opinion on the importance of quality control and how stale bagels shouldn’t be served to customers. I think I may be doing a disservice to the establishment by not bringing this to managements attention. People and companies constantly benefit from feedback (the way this blog would…) and I feel like I should help. As a customer, I’d also give this one guy, whose name wouldn’t fit in the remaining space, a raise because he is the best employee by far. This should also be noted to management and I’m considering giving him a nice tip to support his good customer service.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-04T08:34:21-04:00May 4th, 2011|My Life|0 Comments

Birthday

The birthday of this blog is May 2nd, 2009. I sort of stumbled on this fact at 11:37 on May 2nd but still I’m writing this entry at the last minute. I want to post a picture of stats of the site and the journey that it’s been. Click on it to see a clearer picture.

Nearly 20,000 visitors over a 2 year period isn’t too shabby. You can see I virtually got no traffic for the first year and half and then I hit a spike, and now I’m dwindling back down to just the people who like to read this blog. I’m sure I’ve developed a couple of occasional readers here and there to go along with my loyal following of lurkers. I still haven’t broke through to the big time but you can see that my posts per month have been dramatically increasing and I hope that I at least provide some form of entertainment. It’s still difficult to drag comments from the shadows but it’s something I will continue to work on in the future. Hopefully this next year will be better than the last and this trend will continue. Any thoughts on which posts you like to read or what you find interesting is always appreciated. I will try to cater to the audiences needs because that’s really who I’m writing for.

Jkash made mention that he liked my older “journal” posts (from the vault) because that was a more honest me then me knowingly creating content for readers. I’m pretty much an open book with this blog and don’t hide very much so I like to think that my honesty is something that you can continue to count on. If people can’t believe what you write or say, you really have no integrity. I just wanted to write this post to give you an idea of what I’m looking at and why I continue to keep this site for nothing other then personal reasons. Thank you all for reading.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-02T23:46:36-04:00May 2nd, 2011|My Life|0 Comments

Foster the People

Just to keep people in tune with what I think is good music.

Their most popular and overplayed song.

And my favorite Panic song off the new album

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-24T23:30:53-04:00May 2nd, 2011|Music|0 Comments

The most annoying things

MARIAH CAREY HAD TWINS!!!! I’m not sure what the big deal is with this Osama guy but Mariah should be the real news story. It sort of feels like any story other then Osama doesn’t really have any significant meaning. I will however ramble on (nice Led Zeppelin reference used appropriately) with my own shenanigans in this post.

This happens to me so frequently that I had to express my frustration. When I get out of the car, I turn the keys off with my right hand. Now most of the time I have my phone in my right pocket and I’ve learned that you can’t have your phone and keys in the same pocket because the key can potentially go through the screen. I learned this the hard way when I put a golf tee through the screen of my Blackberry. Now I have a Droid with an even bigger screen which poses a greater problem so I’m consciously aware of this dilemma. Anyway, now my keys are in my left pocket and let’s just say I go to wawa and buy some coffee and a sandwich. If I leave the store and hold the coffee and bag with my left hand, it forces me to reach into my left pocket with my right hand and the jean pockets are always really small, tight, and angled (just like cwands) and makes it almost impossible to get out (just like cwands). I know this sounds retarded but it happens to me on a daily basis and it bothers me almost every day.

To the nitwit who can’t put on a coffee lid, you have the ability to ruin my day. I know it’s difficult to tell if the lid is on properly but this is your profession. This should be your #1 priority if this is your job. The fate of an entire day lies in your hands and with great power comes great responsibility. I strongly believed that there should be a screening process for this job and it’s not as simple as people think. The ensuing events of not having a coffee lid on properly can be devastating.

To cap off this post I will give an example of something that happened during golf yesterday. It was me, Bake and Ck4 and we were playing with a guy from Tennessee who was a decent golfer. On hole 11 he took a piss in the woods and came out by saying that he hates it when he takes a leak and dribbles piss all over his pants when he’s finishing up. I look at his crotch and he indeed had a spot of piss. Considering this has happened to me before I certainly wasn’t judging but I like the way he handled it. By pointing out the situation he made certain that everyone was aware of what happened and how we wouldn’t secretly notice and think he was a tard for not knowing how to piss. Zipping up too early is indeed a tough part about being a guy. The dribbling process can take a few moments and the impatient type are going to get piss on their pants more often then not. Just another word from the wise.

By Tom Stortz|2011-05-02T10:40:40-04:00May 2nd, 2011|My Brain|0 Comments