We Don't Walk Slow

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Not much doing

I went out to dinner tonight with my mom, sister, and her boyfriend. We went in the city to a place called fish, foul, beef, pork or something like that. I thought the place was sortof hipsterish and I just always prefer female waitresses to males, which was not the case. I had a decent beer called a dock side IPA and ordered the chicken. My meal was fine but my sister ordered some beet salad and my mom had the scallops and both portions were insanely tiny for the price. My mom does her best not to complain but I know a rip off when I see one. Sometimes I think I just prefer Wendy’s over an 18 dollar piece of chicken. I guess it would be a little odd though to have a sit down dinner with your family at Wendy’s.

I finished the book about the girl with the dragon tattoo and I’ll go ahead and read the second one of the series. The characters were well developed and after spending the past week getting to know them, it seems like an injustice not to finish the series. It’s fairly easy reading though so I don’t really mind spending the effort for the discounted entertainment. Am I unaware of this books popularity or is this new?

I’ve been having to shave more often as I’ve gotten older. It’s pretty annoying but I’m lucky not to have any dress code at work. The fact that girls have to shave their legs all the time seems like quite a bit of work and I’m happy to be a male. Do girls ever have to shave their face? I got a haircut on Saturday and I’m pretty pleased with the barber’s job. He didn’t use scissors at any point of the haircut and everything is balanced and short. I feel pretty stupid giving him 20 bucks for it though because it took 10 minutes and anyone who is taught how to use a razor could do it. I just think it’s weird that whenever you look in the mirror it’s always the same person staring back at you. You live on Earth for a pretty long time so you get to experiment with whatever look you want. For whatever reason the shaven, clean cut look is just me. I’ve tried a goatee before but it looks absurd and is always a hassle to shave off. I feel like I was just born pretty conservative, not flashy and pretty much just keep the attention off me by looking at normal as possible. To be completely honest I’m just sitting here writing random thoughts that come to my head because I didn’t have any topic to write about and I feel bad when people at work go to this site and see old material. There’s such a let down feeling and you wonder why the creator doesn’t care enough to even write down nonsense to keep you entertained for a mere two minutes. I understand completely and do my best to appease my readers with drivel and gibberish.

I feel like it’s the summer now and people are going down the shore and going on vacations. I wasted my time at the end of June and beginning of July so I’m running the Philly route for a while now. No days off, no nothing but work on the weekdays and play on the weekends. I have the urge to start going to the bar on weekdays so I’ll enact that starting tomorrow. I still have to put in my running for the days but after that, It’s hammertime. I know this entry has been mindless and pointless and I’m sorry I have nothing better to write about but it’s not easy to think of good topics day in and day out. Just know that I appreciate you visiting my site and I hope this kills part of the boredom of the monotonous 9-5.

By Tom Stortz|2010-07-20T00:53:43-04:00July 20th, 2010|My Brain|1 Comment

Jam packed Sunday

I was 4th overall in the mud run out of almost 1500 people which wasn’t too shabby. I fell asleep after the run and then went golfing with Bake, the Wagon and the Shee. Bake blew the course (and competition) away with an 82. I finished with a 91 which wasn’t awful but I was killing myself off the tee with good drives coming far and few between. It was a good, fun round though that completed my non alcohol weekend.

I also watched True Blood and Entourage tonight as well to fit all my TV time in tonight. Jkash and I both agree that the show has lost it’s luster. I’m not sure how anyone else feels, but Turtle is not a lead storyline and should be used as a supporting actor. Drama’s shtick is getting old as it’s the same thing of him looking for work every season. They are stretching some plot lines with Vince but he’s not the problem. I like the Lizzie and Ari storyline but I think that’s just because it’s Ari and Jeremy Piven is a really good actor. They seem to think that a few cameos makes the show. Wake up HBO, people actually prefer good television to seeing a few celebrities.

I find True Blood to be one of the best shows on television. Since it’s not only humans they can use some pretty far out story lines. Plus they jump around a lot among the different side plots and I find them all entertaining and I like how they intertwine together. Not one character annoys me on the show, except Arlene and Hoyt, but everyone else does a good job of playing their role. I think Franklin is hilarious and Russell, the king vampire, piques my interest. All in all just a very good show.

The Ochocinco show is an absolute programming gem. This is by no means a good show but the entertainment value is sky high. If you haven’t seen it, I suggest you watch it but I’m just going to point out some of the finer moments. The one girl can’t get her dress to zip up and she blames it on eating too many hotdogs during the tail gate. So she says something to the effect “maybe I should take it off and move the zipper up and down to loosen it up, try some oil.” Yeah, that’ll work. In the next scene her friend is telling her to eat all her food on the date because her competition said she was going to eat like a bird. I’m pretty sure the girl who couldn’t get her zipper up isn’t keen on the idea of pigging out at dinner to prove to Ocho that she eats like a normal person. The next great moment came when they flashed the name Heather when Angela was talking which makes me wonder if the editors are even watching what they are doing. After pointing out that TO used “interesting” last week, Ocho must have said it 10 times this episode. Finally, the producers must be ripping their hair out that Ocho eliminated the most smoking, hot girl for a beast of a woman. I honestly think he ruined the rest of the show because he’s not going to choose Jasmine at the end so why get rid of a person who can potentially grow on you (and I thought had a decent personality). I know it’s probably all scripted too but I’m amused. Ocho seems to pause and talk so slowly when he’s in the camera room that he must be reading off of cue cards or something. Vh1 does it right.

It’s 1am now and I want to finish the “girl with the dragon tattoo” tonight. People tell me they see mostly girls reading I’m pretty sure it’s a chick book but I think it’s very well done. It’s a murder mystery by the way in case you thought it was some love story. I have about a hundred pages left and I like the attention to details and how its played out so far. If you are looking for a good read, I will approve of this book, even if it is for chicks.

By Tom Stortz|2010-07-19T01:07:38-04:00July 19th, 2010|Sports|0 Comments

Philly 10k Mud Run

It’s 9am on Sunday and I want to post (not blog) about what I did this weekend. On Friday I stayed in and read my book. On Saturday, I woke up early and got my hair cut, bought some new polos from the outlets in Pottstown, got my race packet for Sunday, went to the driving range, played a weak round of golf with the Wagon, and then sat in and did nothing but read my book again with some online poker mixed in. There was absolutely no drinking and no fun whatsoever but I feel like a million bucks now ready to enjoy a perfect Sunday, most likely golfing.

I woke up today at 6am to do a 10k Mud run at Belmont Park. Most people don’t really know much about running but Belmont is a hilly, trail run. This course was hosted by military personnel so they had military obstacles at each mile of the course. There were about 4,500 people there and about 1200 did the 10k. My initial feeling was that most people were there to have a good time and not to compete by time. They started people off in waves which was smart because the course is really narrow and there would be major problems if everyone was clumped together. The first group that went off was the military and I was part of the next group. I started off in the back of the pack but once we were underway it was pretty clear that I was in much better shape than the people around me. About 100 meters off the line my right foot drops in this 2 foot hole and I hit the deck on the “hole in the ground” obstacle. Fortunately I was fine. I ended up leading my wave after about half a mile. The first obstacle was a cargo net which proved to be no problem. There was this really steep hill at about 2 miles, followed by a jump over 3 hurdles each which got progressively higher. This wasn’t too bad either but I was really winded after the hill so my pace was almost at a crawl after the jump. I regained my strength through some flat trail area and then there was about a 20 foot net that you had to crawl under which isn’t difficult but these obstacles take some energy out of you. After the net it was a nice flat mile, and then another nice half mile or so on black top with a gentle downhill which allowed me to regain my composure. Next were some hay bails that had to be climbed over which was a breeze. There were no mile markers on the course which was really dumb in my opinion so I wasn’t sure how much was left but once I made a right turn and saw all the spectators, I realized I was almost at the end. From what I could tell only one person from my wave was ahead of me and I was passing military personnel throughout. The last obstacle before the “mud pit” was a 8 foot rope climb over a ramp. The ramp was covered in shampoo and slippery as an eel. I grabbed the first knot of the rope ok, then the second, then the third, and I had to move my leg over the top. So I tried to reach my leg out and missed the top and wiped out and slammed my shoulder into the ramp. The spectators let out an “ohhh” and amazingly I didn’t let go of the 3rd knot so I stood up and reached my leg over the ramp successfully. After climbing that I had, unknowingly, only 50 meters left and then the mud pit.

I stagger to the mud pit a bit unsure of how to proceed and dive right under. It’s about 25 meters and there are ropes above to get under. This picture is a little generous. I splash through the first couple and get muddy water all in my eyes while I’m down to the last dive. I’m sort of taking my time because I have contacts and can’t see anything and I hear the fans going nuts because there is this guy hauling ass through this pit to my right. Well naturally I don’t like to lose so I get moving and we exit the pit at the same time with about a 25 meter sprint and lord knows that I’m not going to let this guy out kick me so I busted a move, got my right shoulder in front of his and took the spot.

I wasn’t in the best shape going into this and I’m sure the time isn’t good as the race is really hilly and the obstacles will slow anyone down, but I think I was 2nd in my wave and felt ok throughout. It was pretty fun and a nice change from the standard. If anyone reads this and wants to do this race next year or anywhere else, let me know because I’m in.

By Tom Stortz|2013-03-15T03:42:59-04:00July 18th, 2010|Running, Sports|1 Comment

Phil’s Pic

Me, Sam and his friend Ian, both of which beat me.

By Tom Stortz|2013-03-15T17:22:51-04:00July 16th, 2010|Running|0 Comments

M.R

So I went to the bar saying that I was only going to have 2 beers and 2 mind erasers. By 10pm I think I exceeded that. Mad River hired one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever laid eyes on and I made it a point to only order from her. She didn’t know what a mind eraser was but at least she was attentive when someone needed something. I had to say to the one other girl “do you see me standing here?” and even that didn’t get it done. I’ve become a mind eraser snob and if they don’t pour the drink right I’m just not happy. I really want to see 3 layers to my mind eraser and if it’s all mixed up, I feel as if they should redo it. Towards the end of the night I thought that J-Smashed was pretty hammered but the guy can recover on a moments notice. He went from swaying around to making some moves on some female in a about 2 seconds. The band was pretty good and even though I didn’t make any worthwhile moves, it was still a decent night.

I also signed up at bluefirepoker.com and started watching some videos from Phil Galfond. I deposited on Stars again too so I’ll be putting some time towards poker to try to eke out a profit to pay for my now expensive mouth. I won’t bore with poker details though. The 10k is on Sunday and I plan on not doing anything this weekend. Like literally staying inside my room and not getting myself into any trouble. I’ll probably play poker and read my book which is probably a nice change of pace from what I’m used to doing. I’ll even feel good come Monday. This will also mean some weekend posts so stay tuned.

By Tom Stortz|2010-08-11T15:46:54-04:00July 16th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Phils 5k & the sms

So I ended up winning the old man’s age division, 25-29, with a time of 17:55 or so. I think I was about 21st for the race out of 700. This was another example of not being as good as I once was. Both my times from last year in the Broad St and this race were both faster last year. This one I chalk up to lack of training and not running as good of a race as I could have. I felt pretty strong finishing it, I just didn’t want to die throughout the race so I might have held back a bit. Nonetheless I wasn’t beating Sam who was low 17:00’s. The days of being able to compete with top high school and college athletes are over and I’ll never see them again. Enough running talk although I’m doing a 10k at Belmont Plateau on Sunday so I only have a few days to prepare for what I hear is a really tough course. Throw in some military obstacles and I can hardly contain my enthusiasm. This will probably be a non-drinking weekend so that’s probably a good thing.

I’ve paid off all my dental crap so I’m happily in the clear and restarting from today’s date. I’ve invested some money in stocks like RIMM and Teva and I’m thinking about buying some GS and GE. I don’t have much faith in our financial system but I’m hoping strong companies will prevail through tough times. From what I read it seems like we are going to be in for some slow growth up ahead and I’m pretty sure no one knows for sure what is going to happen. I’m still on the SIRI bandwagon as I’m sure you want to know. Enough finance talk as I’m sure this is just as boring as the running talk.

I want to express my growing appeal for the text message. I like the text because it’s very impersonal and I don’t feel any need to respond to it. When someone calls me, I immediately think “what is this pressing issue that this person wants to discuss with me.” It’s funny because when I see I have a missed call I get agitated that I have to call the person back. When I see a text it’s exciting because I can look at it and not have to do anything about it. That growing bbm signal next to the text is a sign of hope for future plans. Plus it gives me time to think about how I want to respond without being put on the spot. My only problem with the phone is lulls in the conversation and this need to be talking all the time. There’s no breaks and I always feel like I’m forcing a goodbye when I don’t want to talk any longer or the convo is going nowhere. The BBM is fine too but you are limited to the people who are part of your contacts so there is no shock value as to who is contacting you. I use the phone all the time at work so it’s not like I’m inept but sometimes I’m just not in the mood to talk, whereas I feel no pressure from texts. I like emails too but I’m amazed at how many people don’t get their emails to their phone. This is so elementary but I don’t think some people have the same level of commitment to emails as others. My dad for instance has a personal company email and doesn’t bother to check it so I do it for the both of us. If you really have to call me, don’t hesitate because you read this post. I have to write about something.

By Tom Stortz|2013-03-15T03:43:05-04:00July 15th, 2010|Running, Sports|0 Comments

Mix and Match a Broad

Pretty obvious by the title but I’m picking specific body parts off of celebs and putting them together to form one super human. I’ll start at the top and work down.

Eyes – Kristen Bell

I’m not really sure how easy it is to pick eyes but I just thought of someone I thought was attractive and threw them in. Chad thinks that she looks retarded but she’s the only reason I thought that Forgetting Sarah Marshall was a good movie. I can’t really put my finger on it but I just really like the way she looks.

Hair – Jennifer Aniston

I think that any girl can be attractive no matter the hair color but I’ve always had a thing for the blonde / brunette combo. Aniston’s hair is pretty much flawless. I don’t know anything about females hair except that this looks very nice and I bet she’d be pissed if you touched it.

Mouth – Julianne Hough

This more so has to do with the picture than actually liking a girls mouth. I just ran across it and found it fitting for it’s purpose. Plus it’s Julianne Hough and she deserves to be a part of the perfect female.

Chest – Sofia Vergara

I ran across this photo on TMZ and this is actually what sparked this post for me. Like Usher would say “omg.” I honestly don’t know how you can walk around with these cans and have any balance whatsoever. How does she go for a run? This is just too much to take in.

Butt – Kim K

I don’t really understand the allure of a huge ass but if I were going to pick one I guess this would be it. I think it’s just the whole curvy body, big ass thing that guys are attracted to. I just find her attractive as a whole honestly.

Legs – Stacy Kiebler

By far the easiest one to pick for me. I would watch Dancing of the Stars clips just to see her. I’ve voted her my favorite girl of all time and I still have her at the top of my list. If there is any other female who even competes with Stacy’s leg, I would like to know.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:21:06-04:00July 14th, 2010|Boobs|0 Comments

Jumping around some topics

I picked up some lingo from the OchoCinco show on Vh1. When you are saying goodbye to someone you can tell them to “stay easy.” If I sat there with a pen and some paper I could probably jot down everything these guys say and it would bring my coolness level up considerably. When Ocho and T.O were all dressed in their tuxes and nice outfits, I made the comment there is no way in hell I could ever look as cool as these guys do. The black outfits on the black guys works a bit better than white outfits on white guys. Also when TO used the word “interesting” to answer some question, it is pretty much the easiest word to use to make you sound like you’re listening. “What did you think about …”. “It was interesting.” From the other person’s point of view it sounds like you understand, but in fact you said nothing at all. Anytime someone tries to give me an answer “interesting,” I’m going to immediately follow up with a why. I actually used it on the phone today at work and it works wonders with people you don’t know because it is such a good answer. Sometimes on the phone I get caught up trying to think of a word and it’s not coming to me so I just blurt out something stupid and both people know you said something stupid but it’s easier to not acknowledge it and just hang up. That’s why it’s good to have a couple of go to phrases like interesting.

I also watched Law Abiding Citizen tonight with Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler. I’m going to spoil it for you if you didn’t see it so don’t read further if you intend to watch it. I thought the first hour was really entertaining when I thought that Clyde had other people helping him run the show from prison, but when I found out he had an underground tunnel?!?! in the jail cell, it just comes off as sort of dumb. Far fetched to say the least. I was amused though and even though it certainly isn’t a 4 star movie it didn’t bore me for the 1 hour 48 minutes. Certainly not one that I would watch again though although I liked how it was set in Philly. Mayor Nutter even had a cameo and I liked when they were driving down Market St because it hits close to home. Worth a watch for amusement but not a good movie.

I’m starting to feel a bond to the city of Philadelphia. I remember when I was going to Pitt, I never felt like I was from Pittsburgh and the feeling never grew. I was born and raised in Philly (suburbs…) and I really can’t see myself going anywhere else. I have walk in customers for my business that I’ve grown to like who are South Philly. The people I engage with on a daily basis grow to like you and remember you. The bum who opens the door at Dunkin Doughnuts knows my name (yeah sheee you know who I’m talking about). I really like the size because it’s not too big and not too small. I’ve been to New York and it’s just an overwhelming amount of people. I like how I’m from where the nation was established and I don’t speak with any accent. I like how other cities try to copy the Philly Cheese Steak and how easy it is to make and how terribly places butcher it. I like driving in on Kelly Drive, also a good spot to run, and passing the Art Museum and the Rocky steps everyday. I don’t even experience the city as much as I should but I feel some loyalty to it. I like how we support our winning sports teams and boo our losers. There’s not much to this other than I saw it in the movie and I like how Philadelphia represents.

If you haven’t listened to this Mel Gibson rant, you are seriously missing out. It was gripping from second 1. The part where he says “smile, and blow me,” is just too much to take. Talk about a guy whose had too much to drink. He has some funny lines though and I just want to keep anyone who reads this blog in the loop of great things that celebrities do.

Phil’s 5k is tomorrow and I checked my time from last year and saw it was 17:30 something and I was pretty surprised I was in that good of shape last year. I’m not really sure what to expect as I think my training has been off as of late but I feel pretty thin at 172. The 3 miles won’t be tough on my air but I hope my legs will be strong at a pace that I’m usually not used to running. Anything under last years time is an accomplishment.

By Tom Stortz|2010-07-14T00:33:07-04:00July 14th, 2010|My Life|1 Comment

Nice Morning

So I woke up with no alarm clock which is usually a sign of a good night’s rest. I do my normal morning routine of putting on work clothes, brushing my teeth, and putting my contacts in. The weather is dreary and I much prefer 100 degree heat to this doom and gloom. I’m driving down Spring Garden when my left contact falls out. Fortunately, I’m able to catch it but now the problem becomes I have a dried up contact in my left hand, I can’t see out of my left eye, and I’m driving in traffic with cars all around while trying to put my contact back in. I grab a water bottle next to me and unscrew the cap only to lose my grip on it and the cap falls to the floor. So now I have to balance this full water bottle without it spilling everywhere. I wet the contact and manage to get it back in but not without getting water all over my pants. So now I go to the place I order breakfast looking like I peed myself. No real point to the story other than a need for Lasik eye surgery.

A few posts ago I wrote that I gave a girl a side hug as an introductory move. As it turns out, people aren’t that familiar with this move and I want to explain the move and when to use it. First off, it’s only done with a male-female intro. Handshakes with girls are out in my book. I’ve just always found them to be peculiar and sometimes the girl will give you their fingers instead of their palm and it can just turn ugly. I wrote before about the close up wave hello and this is the epitome of awkwardness. It’s basically saying “I don’t know you that well to hug and I have no other move as a greeting, so I’ll give you a close up wave hello.” There’s obviously the full hug but then I feel like you smush the girls boobs against you and maybe not everyone is comfortable with that. I feel like I give hugs to my relatives and not to people that I might be meeting once or twice a month. Plus I don’t just throw my hugs out with disregard. If you are with another person, and they know a group of girls better than you and they enter by hugging everyone, I don’t just start hugging every random person because a hug might be a bit too forthcoming for random intro’s. So you use the side hug. Now you can’t side hug groups, it only works for individuals and it has to be when you are approaching from a different angle than straight on. It’s when you stand to the side of a girl, put your arm around their shoulder and give a little squeeze sideways. It’s not for every situation but it will present itself every so often and it makes for a fine, acceptable greeting.

By Tom Stortz|2010-07-13T07:57:09-04:00July 13th, 2010|My Brain, My Life|0 Comments

Rusty

Everything has pretty much settled down and I’m back into the going to work and then whatever I usually do after work routine. It’s funny because when I had off for 2 weeks, I felt like a waste of life and wanted some structure. Now that I’m doing it again, I just want to be doing nothing. I felt like I was writing some decent posts last week and keeping things entertaining which differs a bit from how I feel right now. I had a long day at work and my brain isn’t in it’s creativity mode but more like shut down mode. I have a feeling it’s just what Monday’s do to an individual and knowing that it’s just the beginning of a work week.

The older I get, the more things seem to leave me. I’m referring more towards activities than anything else. Work consumes so many hours of your day that you don’t get a chance to actively do things that you may find more exciting. I’ve wrote a post like this before, but now I feel it even more so than ever. Throughout various points of my life, I have been better at things then I am presently. Back in high school, or maybe early college, I shot an 82 in golf on a legit course in West Virginia. The other week I shot an 107, out of the norm but it certainly shows what I’m capable of. In middle school I could shoot a 3 pointer and there would actually be a chance of it going in. Today, I’m lucky to hit the rim on a layup. At points of my life I’ve 9 tabled cash games and played thousands upon thousands of hands that most people won’t play that much in their lifetime. Now I sometimes can’t even find the guts to raise a 46 suited from early position. I used to run beer pong tables in college and now I’m just happy to hit the cup. In fact over the weekend 2 girls were nearly going to win against me. I played on a travel baseball team that won something like 30+ games in a row and now I don’t even like playing because there’s too much individual pressure and making mistakes singles you out completely and makes you feel like a schmo.

There is a feeling inside of me of being the best you can be. There’s an obvious reason why I’m not nearly as good as I once was in all of the above mentioned examples, practice. I don’t practice to any real extent. It’s a combination of not having the time and not really caring. Sure I’d like to be good at everything I do but it’s not realistic to think that I’m going to go to the gym and shoot a thousand shots so I can be good at pick up basketball. I’m not going to practice my beer pong shots so I can play all night and never lose a game to impress who? I guess my point is that all activities are more fun when you are good at them and to be good at them requires some type of practice. This post is asking what do you do with your time? I would be much more successful if I devoted all my time towards the business rather than these activities that I deem as “fun.” When you are young it’s easy to get caught up in things to pass the time because a lot of things are new. As you get older and you’ve tried a lot of things out there and it comes a time to ask, “ok, what do I really want to do” I just really have a hard time coming up with a good answer.

This has been my go to question before in trying to pick up girls in the bar and not surprising it hasn’t worked with such success. I’ll go up to girls and ask them exactly that “what do you like to do?” I’ve always felt it’s a good question because it expresses interest and you might be able to talk to them about something they like to talk about. A lot of time people don’t interpret the question as sincere interest and they think I’m a creep trying to delve into their inner self. This can also swing to job talk which usually doesn’t come off as good weekend bar conversation. Usually anytime someone tells me they like their job I immediately label them as a nut job and move on. I actually don’t mind work but it’s the free time that gets tricky for me. I’ve consumed so many hours with so many activities and have come away with essentially nothing. I have not been able to find great success in anything that I actually like doing. If I could make money in the stock market, that would interest me but the game is so unbelievable sided against you. I’ve put countless hours into poker that at this point the amount of money I’m able to scrounge from the game isn’t worth the amount of time. Sports are all out of the question. So where does that leave me? I’m reading a book about a girl with a dragon tattoo because it’s a cheap form of entertaining entertainment. Sad I know but I have to believe that I’m not the only person in this boat and I’m fascinated by what people would do in their free time that is a worthwhile cause and is productive. Saving the planet isn’t an option.

By Tom Stortz|2010-07-12T23:41:24-04:00July 12th, 2010|My Brain|0 Comments