After a 5 day drinking binge in OCMD I came home and decided to play golf the next day. I remember hitting balls at the golf range and sweating bullets and thinking that I’m not feeling so hot. I went to the course with Ck4 and the Shee and the first ball I hit was a direct liner right into the marsh about 5 feet in front of me (not unlike what I did this past Thursday). I did the same thing on the 2nd hole and remember saying something to the effect “my arms don’t feel like they are connected to my body.” Trying to describe this feeling to anyone else is nearly impossible because they aren’t you. However, I’ve come across this chart and I it’s exactly how I would want to describe this feeling in scientific form. I would like to point out that a typical hangover doesn’t make me feel like this but multiple day drinking binges are similar.

I’m going to give a brief overview of how my fashion sense has worked over the past 28 years of my life.

Years 1-5 – I have some hilarious pictures that I should scan but it’s pretty apparent I was dressed by my parents.

Years 6-13 – The elementary school years. I’m sure my parents still bought everything and I vaguely remember being a huge fan of plaid shorts. In 6th grade was the very first time I ever wore jeans and that was monumental. I also recall the brand “NO FEAR” being a popular shirt of mine. Champion mesh shorts & socks probably stole the show as well.

Years 14-18 – High School years were dominated by Aeropostale girl. I remember thinking how trendy Abercrombie & Fitch were at the time and I was going to be different with Aeropostale. I think khaki cargo shorts were a major contributor to my style. Hooded sweatshirts as well.

Years 18-21 – My college years were pretty plain. I probably still wore cargo shots and jeans to almost every occasion. Hooded sweatshirts & tee-shirts were what I wore to class. I’m sure I had some Nautica polos which I thought were bad ass.

Years 21 – 28 – I substituted a zip up hoodie for a hoodie sweatshirt which was pretty major. I ditched the cargo shorts for Dockers. I wear a barrage of polos from Ralph Lauren to Calvin Klein. Always low cut socks and usually a reasonable looking belt. You won’t find me very often in button down shirts because I just don’t like them. I wear Pumas or Nikes for shoes. Many alcohol and band shirts exist for my t-shirts.

I really would have pictures to describe all this but I have my mouse on its charger and it’s too much work.

ONLY IN AMERICA….

The new breadwinner in the family…

This is preposterous! An emergency room physician told me that a woman in her late 20’s came to the ER today with her 8th pregnancy.

She told the first doctor she saw: “My Mama told me that I am the breadwinner for the family.” He asked her to explain. She said that she can make babies and babies get money from the state for the family. It goes like this:

The grandma calls the Department of Child & Family Services, and states that the unemployed daughter is not capable of caring for all of her kids. DCFS agrees, and tells her the children will need to go into foster care. The grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent, and receives a check for $1500 per child each month in Illinois.

Total yearly income: $144,000 tax-free and nobody has to go to work!
In fact, they get more if there is no husband/father/man in the home!

Not to mention free healthcare (Medicaid), plus a monthly card entitling them to free groceries and a voucher for 250 free cell phone minutes each month. This does not include WIC and other welfare benefits.

Indeed, Grandma was correct that her fertile daughter is the “breadwinner” for the family.

This is how the liberal politicians spend our tax dollars. When this generous program was invented in the ’60s, the Great Society architects forgot to craft an end date. And now we are hopelessly overrun with people who vote only for those who will continue to keep them on the dole. No wonder our country is broke!
Worse, the Muslims have been paying attention, and by mandating that each Muslim family have eleven children, they will soon replace the voting bloc above and can be running this country within 50 years.
Are we alarmed yet?
Is anybody listening?
Sincerely,

Sebastian J. Ciancio, M.D. Urologist,
Danville Polyclinic, LTD

Is this a GREAT COUNTRY or what…?
Don’t forget to pay your taxes!! There are a lot of “breadwinners” depending on you!