I haven’t wrote anything in a few days because I was in Ocean City, Maryland on a vacation. If you’ve never been, they have a road called coastal hwy that is the major means of transportation throughout the town. Drunk people and coastal hwy go together like oil and water so understand my concern when I saw this. I did however make it through the week with no problems aside from some bike cops directing me home one night which was honestly the funniest conversations you could imagine.
“Where do you live?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well how are you gonna get back?”
Aside from that night though everything else was pretty entertaining. When I tell you we destroyed happy hours please understand I’m not messing around. We racked up some bar bills that were pretty astronomical off of prices that really weren’t too expensive. I was up and down all week between passing out and recovering and then repeating. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson but I was pretty much under control the entire time. The one night I got two numbers one of which was from a Russian girl who gave me about 5 digits too many. The other girl was instigated by Steve to give me the rejection hotline which was funnier once I realized what happened, but not so funny getting owned like that.
The one night I somehow wound up with a henna tattoo of a cat’s butt? on the back of my neck. All I really remember about that was the person doing kept telling me to hold still and that really wasn’t something I was capable of doing at the time so you can guess how it turned out. I could try to go through a couple more of the nights but they honestly all blur together.
I actually found OCMD nicer than the Jersey shore but a long shot. The people seemed genuinely nicer and I thought the bar scene was better too. Seacrets is obviously an awesome bar with eye candy galore. They usually had about 3 live bands each night and I can’t even guess capacity but it blows Manayunk out of the water. I also can’t remember how much each beer was but I don’t think it was $5.75 per Coors light like the Princeton in Avalon. I also introduced the crowd that I went down with to the fan favorite drink of the Mind Eraser which I don’t think anyone was too pleased with. It was a nice change of pace to hang out with people that I haven’t seen in years and try to duplicate the debauchery of college. I’m pretty sure everyone will agree to the point that the drinking level didn’t disappoint. Personally though, these two weeks put me on my ass. I literally couldn’t move yesterday and I’m still feeling the effects today. I know the people in Sea Isle who were expecting to see me are wondering what happened but I physically can’t have fun feeling like this and need a break from it all. So I’m pretty much just sitting here by myself watching TV and couldn’t be happier.
Just some memorable events from the weekend to document. The trash can lid to Steve’s eye kicked off the weekend. I actually didn’t witness this but apparently the reaction time of Steve’s catlike reflexes were a bit delayed. I don’t think it “ruined the week” like originally thought. Gerald getting rowdy after the Mackey’s happy hour and Sam’s fascination with the bar Fagers. Jimmy getting an hj in a room with bunkbeds was an unusual move. Constant icing going on was actually way more entertaining than I expected to be. I actually don’t think the drink is that bad after doing about 3 or 4 of them throughout the week. I thought the beach in general dominates NJ and it’s not even close because of the “whitesand” and obviously superior waves.
Sometimes I felt guilty for taking a couple weeks off to enjoy myself and spending more cash on alcohol than homeless people could spend on food for probably a few months. But weeks like this, with weather like this, are how you enjoy some of life’s finer moments. I had a great time these past two weeks and have many memories that I can’t remember. I think I’ve proven that I’m up for good times and if you are ever looking for someone to hang out with whose self respect gets thrown out the window on vacation, give me a call (even though I probably won’t pick up).