One of the most embarrassing thing that can happen to a person is clogging the toilet in a public place. You drop a deuce, you wipe, and then when you flush you get a sudden sense of terror when your poop isn’t swooshing down the drain. One could possibly blame the lack of water pressure but most likely it’s not considering that this event can happen. Myself, I don’t ever let this happen. First things first, I rarely take dumps in public because it’s uncomfortable and gross. However, if I really have no choice, I just the most obvious thing, I multiple flush. After you finish up it’s usually an ideal time to flush. Paper has to be the #1 toilet clogger so you just want to make sure the shit goes down to avoid any issues. I think 3-4 wipes of paper is probably as much as I’ll ever challenge the toilet with. It’s pretty rare that you get wipes that start heading into the double digits so an absolute max of 3 flushes seems about right. Yes you might be looked at as odd for flushing so many times but this is far superior than being that guy who just clogged the shitter. I just wanted to pass on this wisdom.

I assume everyone knows that this title comes from the catch phrase of Yogi Bear but since I take nothing for granted, there’s the link. What I did the last two days is much different than most people’s 9-5. Essentially, I was a salesman on the road. I woke up at 3:15am on Tuesday morning, put on my nice clothes (no tie because that’s overkill) and was on the road by 3:45. I hopped on an empty 95 and headed down to Richmond, Virginia. I got through Baltimore no problem, through the beltways without a hitch, and then started to feel myself swerving on the road once I hit Fredericksburg. At 7:00am I pulled off an exit and rested my eyes for 30 minutes. After that I felt rejuvenated and started to hit some stores. My first stop was an Ace hardware in Ashland, than several masonry supply’s in Richmond followed by a roofing supply. I drove right through the VCU campus which was filled with historic slate roofs. I had a few customers in Charlottesville and then a few in Frederickburg. That was a full day and I ended up getting a hotel room back in Alexandria to get a good start the next day beginning with the Beltways and Baltimore the next day.

I was actually hoping to write an entry on my Kindle in the hotel room but the internet was spotty and I couldn’t make it happen. Alexandria, at least the part I was in, is filled with “foreigners.” I mean this in a completely non-racist way but the supermarket was specifically called the “International Market.” I think it was an indicative city of what America is forming into. When a white person writes this I’m sure people immediately assume I mean this in a negative way but I’m merely stating the fact. So my hotel is in the heart of this area and I really did stick out like sore thumb. I went to probably the worst mall I’ve ever been too called the Landmark Mall and ate at the food court. Half the mall was closed and it was literally depressing. I spent the night contemplating my trip the next day and watching the Big Lebowski. Having a hotel room to yourself really gives you time to think amongst yourself in a quiet atmosphere which I am debating on how to reveal those thoughts in a future post.

I got up at 6:30 the next day and dropped the Buffalo defense from my phone and ate a 2x2x2 breakfast at IHop. I had a few stops in Alexandria and then headed to Bethesda. I wanted to stop in Vienna but missed the exit in ridiculous beltway traffic and had to change plans. After Bethesda I stopped in Hyattsville and Bladensburg where I met some long time customers. Rockville was next on my journey and then I finished in Baltimore. All in all it was a jam packed two days. I probably visited about 20 different suppliers and learned a wealth of information from being on the road. I logged 750 miles on this trip.

The one noticeable thing I’m noticing is my sales delivery on these trips. This is probably the 5th or 6th time I’ve done this by myself and to say I wasn’t nervous the first few times would be an outright lie. Approaching big stores, asking for the buyer, and then trying to sell him something can be intimidating. Now I’ve really settled into the role. I don’t get nervous and talk with a slow, relaxed approach. I’m generally likable and think I do a pretty good job. I’d say my biggest weakness is not asking for their money a lot of time. Lack of aggressiveness in sales I’d call it. I believe this is my next step to overcome. Nevertheless this gives me something to work on. I’m hoping that the title isn’t conceded but after doing a trip like this, I know that I’ve gained experience that most people in the 20’s don’t get.

This weekend was dominated by football. On Saturday we had our coed rec league game which was much different than last week. Bake started the game with a 3/4 length of the field rushing TD and that was pretty much all she wrote. I think the score was something like 50-6 but who even cares. That’s the one problem with this league, the games that get out of hand due to varying skill levels of athletes. It was still moderately entertaining and certainly more fun than losing.

After that I attended a Phillies tailgate hosted by a fundraising software company that I’ll keep out of my blog. Ck4 was in good form drinking his coors lights and I must give a shout out to an avid reader Casey. Sam spilling his soda down the steps in the 400 level was also one of the highlights. The Phils got the beaten to a pulp but it was still pretty entertaining.

I was pretty blitzed after leaving the game in the 8th inning and took the subway back to Philly. It started to pour which made my decision to walk to Evan’s not so good. I arrived completely drenched, hammered, and in no shape to enjoy the evening. I’ll chalk that up to some poor decision making. I awoke at 6am on his couch and walked home where I then slept for another few hours. Football Sunday was always a treat as I watched the games for 7 hours straight. I threw a workout in there after the 4pm games and that was pretty much my day. If I can hold off Green Bay’s D from getting 13 or so points, I’ll pick up my first W in Evan’s league which I’m secretly praying for. So far though my teams have been pretty lackluster and it sucks digging holes in the beginning of the season.

I’m going to have a pretty busy week this week as I’m heading on a sales trip tomorrow and then visiting a slate conference this weekend. So it should be a different type of week for me. Til next time.

These last few days have been pretty rough. We can start with Saturday. Well lets back up to Friday night. After a nice dinner with Laura and Nance, Jeff and I went to a house party on Christian. It was a good time and the jungle juice, made with Everclear, was flowing. Nothing of note really happened (except a late night fiasco with a neighbor at 2am which I’m not delving into) and I awoke to the Shee calling me 8 times at 10 am for our 11 am football game. This was the first game of the Manayunk sport and social coed season.

We opened the game scoring on our first 2 possessions. I had a pick in there somewhere when the opposing QB just threw me the ball. After that little sequence though, it was all downhill. Our defense wasn’t stopping them and they had some seriously athletic ladies who were making both sides of offense difficult. I believe we went into halftime down 6 or something and we never really made it closer. Poor communication, dropped passes, playing with 4 guys for a series were all part of the bigger reason that we just sucked. To boot, I had a bro come down on my ankle and was limping around for Saturday and mostly Sunday. It’s feeling better though and I should be OK the rest of the way.

After the game we hung around the pool at Naval Square and visited Bake & Weller’s place in Conshy. Then we went back to Philly and headed to some local bars of which there isn’t anything too entertaining. I woke on Sunday ready for some Football and a marquee fantasy matchup (cough) against Evan. My teams all got pooped on. I had an unreal stat line in my 4 leagues with 7 spots out of 36 getting 0 or negative points (Blackmon x 2, Hernandez, Gates, and Oakland D x 3). The Gates thing blows my mind because there was nothing I could do even though I was aware he wasn’t playing between 1-4. Anyway, I also bet on the Raiders which was a joke of a bet. A horrific football Sunday.

Which brings me to today and I am still recovering from that debacle and limping around all weekend. I had my mattress upside down as well which I just realized and was sleeping on the hard part which is pure stupidity. This was just one of those days and I know things will improve as long as I am optimistic. Life does throw you these rough patches from time to time to test your resolve. It happens to everyone and you can’t let it get the best of you. Til tomorrow.

It’s obviously not fair that I write that the blog is back and then take off multiple days from making a post but that’s just the breaks. The last 5 days though have been more than entertaining and I’m really enjoying life. If you stay up to date with Sam’s blog you’d know that Jeff and I went to Ursinus to party like rockstars, much older rockstars. At 28 it really did seem like I could be some of these kids parents. It wasn’t that bad though and even at my age I can still fit in. I wouldn’t have arrived sober if I could have avoided it but we still had a good time and now I can say I’ve experienced Ursinus. Just one thing I noticed that I’m certain other people have as well is the “Sam Drunk Yell.” Basically every word Sam says comes in the form of a deep voiced yell. At first I thought he just did it sporadically but then I noticed he does it constantly. It just starts to become the norm but I couldn’t tell if anyone else noticed and don’t take this as a call out or anything. I also should document the race that Sam beat me in was 200 meters and lets not forget the 16oz pounder I drank in the morning before this race went off. Rematch anytime.

After Ursinus we went to the Awol and Imagine Dragons concert in the Piazza that was the most fun I’ve had in a while. This free concert was so much better than Made in America it’s hard to justify paying 100 bucks for events like that. Crowd surfing is now my most entertaining event that I always would want to witness. People just think everything is going to be fine with the people below but this is not the reality and the aftermath of people hitting the ground is hilariously amusing. Plus I think Gourlay caught my one move of copping a feel on some average girl’s left buttocks. Gourlay gets major respect from me too as he’s self-declared the 5th Stortz. Having the 4 Stortz members at the same concert was pretty amazing as well. A final note to the concert was a kid who puked in the middle of the crowd and was repeatedly called an asshole. Very Philly like. Or the guy who had a laser pointer on him on the 4th floor of an apt building and showed his dong. I even got to use a great line when a girl elbowed me in the head and I said “it’s not your fault, it’s not your fault” which should be recognized by all Awol fans. A seriously awesome time.

Sunday was football and my fantasy teams went an average 2-2 which I wasn’t ecstatic about. The APete BS really killed my one team but him being back and watching him jump to the #2 back by Rotoworld this week will put me in a good spot for the rest of the season. I’m still extremely optimistic with my teams and expect big things. I hung out with CK4 at Millers to watch the Eagles which was a really good time and good place to watch the games. City watching from now on though.

I will continue this post with the post above this one which makes no sense whatsoever but there’s no other way and I don’t want to make this 1,000 words.

I know what you’re all thinking and, no, the title of this post isn’t in reference to the New Order song. I have made a serious mistake. One that cost me dearly. I just spent about 3 months going through one of the most troublesome times of my life but today I finally came out the other side. I must say that this time period has left some scars and personal irritation but it’s all for the better because I have gotten stronger as a person. 3 months ago to this day, I bought a double pack of Degree antiperspirant deodorant. I’m usually a gel stick guy but for some reason this type was on sale and I went for it and I’ve regretted the decision ever since. I just never feel like that white, non stick substance does the job. It just glides over your arm pit without a trace. When I have the moist gel leaving it’s mark under my pit, I know it’s working. I’m protected. So I’m happy that this false, antiperspirant phase of my life is over and I’m back to where I belong with my Old Spice Endurance stick.

Instead of the Arnold Schwarzenegger version, I’m using this title as I’ll be posting more often. A few things are changing in my life that will allow me to do so. #1 is that I’m on the move once again. I spent 3 months living with my parents and it was exactly as I thought it would be. I spent some quality time with Nance and JC, hung out with Sam probably more than we’d ever hung out in past years, and had a different life style than I was accustomed to for the past 5 years of being away from home. But as Billy Joel says, “Well you’re 21 and still your mother makes your bed, And that’s too long.”

Jeff and I decided to rent a place together in the city, much, much closer to work and instead of an hour commute to work, it’s about a 5 minute walk. This should free up much more time in my life as I once again move into another phase. I also got quite disappointed in myself with my blog traffic. In this sites heyday, June 20th, 2011, I had 146 visits from direct traffic (people who type rnningfool.com in for a URL). Yesterday I had 27. This is obviously attributed to posting less and people not caring. As you maybe did or didn’t see, I posted this link on facebook to try to attract a few more people to this site. I’ve always felt a sense of embarrassment by being a “blogger” but as I grow as a person, I can shed false viewpoints. You can’t worry about what other people think and I’m just going to continue to share my thoughts and emotions in future posts just like I have in previous years. I will once again try to bring this blog to stardom but with a more concerted effort from past experiences and understanding what people want to see. Stay tuned. I have a new post all ready to go tomorrow morning that I think is quite entertaining.