We Don't Walk Slow

Alexandria, Va

Touché to Bud’s comment on an alligator not being a crocodile. I even thought about what a gator was and didn’t think to change it. Also I’m typing this on my phone, while dropping a deuce, and it has to be the most idiotic way to post an entry. If this is how you usually post Gourlay, the picture gets clearer on the status of your genius.

I’m in Alexandria, Va and am in the minority. White people are like 10% around where I’m staying. No big deal. I also heard the song bubbly on 2 outdoor speakers which was odd.

I got the chance to golf after my trip yesterday and almost hit my second hole in 1. I also played the back 9 in 42 minutes with a cart. Then I went to this wacky bird sanctuary to go for a run and the place wasn’t made for running. That’s what happens when you gps park.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T12:58:10-04:00August 5th, 2014|My Life|3 Comments

Johnny’s Hots is More Than Food

Today I witnessed a sense of loyalty at a breakfast spot that I was aware of but this interaction today cemented it. On Delaware Ave near Fishtown there is a little spot called Johnny’s Hots. They open early in the morning and close in the afternoon. They serve breakfast sandwiches for breakfast and roast pork, cheese steaks, and meatball subs for lunch. The owner is John and he hires an all girl staff. I’ve been going there for almost 10 years now and it finally clicked today why this establishment is so successful. Customer relations.

I stopped going to Johnny’s for breakfast for the last few months for no other reason other than it’s further away than Dunkin Donuts. Instead of a 1 minute drive it’s about a 5 minute drive. As I made my way today I passed dual traffic lights by the Sugarhouse which slowed me down. The Sugarhouse is building another wing which is a tragedy because it shows how much money it takes from the local citizens. I parked in front of Johnny’s and was expecting the same cashier but something had changed in the months I’d been away.

The girl taking the orders was a knock out not in the model sense but from a normal girl perspective working as the cashier in a sandwich shop. That sentence sells her short. I mumbled some odd questions about whether they had Nantucket Nectars Half and Half (she said they had Snapple’s but I know that’s diet) and settled on a lemon Snapple. As I waited for my sausage, egg, and cheese, 3 people ordered their food.

Guy 1 ordered a green Naked Juice and some other drink without even saying a word to the cashier. He said hello to John, the owner, and John commented that he brought in the Strawberry Mango version of the Naked drink. This is a case of the owner purchasing items that his customers drink.
Guy 2 was waiting behind 1 when the girl who makes the sandwiches asked if he was eating. He replied no. It was obvious that he comes there everyday.
Guy 3 walked right up to the ordering area (which is different than the cashier) and ordered his sandwich. You don’t do this unless you’ve been there hundreds of times before.

One thing was obvious to me, these people come here practically every day to eat their breakfast. They get to know the employees and the employees treat them like family. This type of business is becoming more of rarity when a-holes like myself eat at chain restaurants to save a few bucks. I was taken aback from the loyalty. I also will probably go back just to check out the cashier again which is a brilliant hire by the sound owner. The girl who makes the sandwiches also has a secret crush on me but it’s such a secret I’m not sure she knows it.

By Tom Stortz|2014-07-30T08:07:36-04:00July 30th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

Breaking the Routine

This was an interesting weekend for me that has to result in minor changes. Whenever people tell me they are changing I always roll my eyes because talk is cheap so I would expect you to do the same. What happened this weekend that made me come to this realization? I traveled a spectrum of activity from where I am to where people go.

Without being vague, I saw my typical gambling / drinking weekend turn to what I expected from it. A lighter wallet, an ill feeling from partying, and a general questioning of what the hell I’m doing time after time. I’m no spring chicken anymore and I’d say 85% of these weekends result in this sinking feeling.

On the other hand, I spent my Sunday at a gathering at a person’s house who I respect more with each encounter. He’s charitable, genuine, and is all about the right behavior. His life has lead to a gorgeous home in a secluded area and it’s something to marvel at. It basically made me think that this is an ideal way to end up.

Following this I met with old friends who are married and advancing life in a more conventional approach than the life I lead. I’m not saying right from wrong but there are destructive vs constructive activities and I think it’s easy to note which ones I partake in.

With those experiences, I woke up this morning and realized I had to change things up because I was stuck in a routine. A brief change list in bullet format.

Instead of going to Dunkin Donuts today, I went to the restaurant across the street. I ordered a ham and cheese omelette and sat quietly by myself while I chowed down the food. This cost me $8.86 which differs from the $4.86 at Dunkin but the routine break was worth the 4 dollars.
I’m going to start reading the WSJ again. It’s been a while since I’ve had any interest in the financial markets mainly because it’s stressful and difficult to beat. I believe we are seeing some sort of a bubble again and this could be the perfect time to short the market. Specifically, Facebook at $75 (100 P/E) is overvalued and feels like a 50 dollar stock to me. Reading the journal helps you time this better.
No more Candy Crush. This isn’t a big lifestyle change because I only play it while I’m watching TV but losing this is a must. Complete waste of time. I also got a new phone and it didn’t save my levels so this makes this was a sign to quit. I got to 220 or something just in case Sam was wondering.
Start reading again. Laura recommended the Goldfinch so I’ll read that. I finished all my TV (Fargo, Orange is the New Black) and it’s time to start thinking by reading again instead of thinking visually.
Join some groups or classes. I’m tired of writing that I’m going to learn German or Photoshop. I’ve made some effort but I’d give myself D’s in both areas. These are constructive activities. Maybe I’ll join a running group as well.

So there’s a quick breakdown of what’s going through my brain. Like I wrote earlier, it’s easy to write about changing but actually doing it is another story. I’ll keep the blog filled with updates and other posts as typically done over the years.

I also should add that after reading Gourlay’s post about needles and his severe dislike, mine are snakes. The word sneak is in snake. Enough said.

By Tom Stortz|2014-07-29T08:34:52-04:00July 29th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

An 11 Hour Sleep

Old age hit quick. I don’t even know where to begin. This weekend was a surprise party for Big Steve in Atlantic City. Sam and I drove up and got to Revel at around 3pm. We started drinking, surprised Steve, had some dinner, and then went out to the club. I have blurred lines of going out but I woke up in a different room sleeping in a chair which was unusual but everything seemed fine.

On Saturday morning I didn’t have any money and the ATM wasn’t accepting my card because of the magnetic strip. I left Revel at 9am and starting walking the Boardwalk in search of an ATM that accepted my card. I found one about 15 minutes away and I was back in business. I met up with the McGrath’s and started pre-gaming for the pool which was the plan from the get-go. Eating no food up to this point, I had a feeling that I wasn’t planning well for the afternoon and evening. I bought a 30 dollar drink and enjoyed the pool activities for a while. I napped and then lost a few more dollars before ending up in the room that I belonged in. At that point it was about 9pm and my life force was sapped. I decided that I couldn’t hang out for the night and I drove home. Before people start jumping to conclusions about my sobriety, I hadn’t had a drink for 6 hours so it was safe.

Although many factors contributed to me leaving, the main one was that if I partied for one more night, I would be putting myself in the face of danger. I hadn’t eaten properly. I had already lost money gambling and lord only knows what else could happen. It would have been toeing the line and I made a choice that although probably looked at as bizarre, made a lot of sense at the time. Perhaps this is maturing but it’s also getting beat down and quitting.

This is what a baby looks like.

I was up early on Sunday and met up with the AOR crew and reminisced about past times. I then hung out with CK4 and Nikkii drinking a few beers and living the suburban life for a minute. JKash and Amber brought little, baby Jordan and we watched him for a while before checking out CK4’s new house a few miles away. As I departed the group, I was incredibly tired and had to go to sleep. I showered and fell asleep at 8pm.

I woke this morning a bit before 7am and still am not loving life. I used to be able to go out Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night and not feel the repercussions. I’ve dwindled down to a night and a half and then I’m toast. Some day I may wise up and quit this cycle but until then, these posts will continue to sum up mistakes.

By Tom Stortz|2014-07-28T11:13:30-04:00July 28th, 2014|My Life|3 Comments

A Whirlwind of Spending Money

The amount of money I spent today registers as a top 10 in my life. Days like these are unavoidable and I always leave them feeling poorer because I am. I’m not an expert negotiator but I also would like to think that I don’t get taken advantage of either. I want to share my experience so you can see what goes through my head and the results I obtain in these particular situations.

Negotiating With Verizon

I’m Verizon’s dream customer if I played by their rules and regulations. I break or lose my phone within the 2 year contract every single time. If you aren’t familar with how the system works, Verizon will sell you a phone at an upgrade price every 2 years. If your phone doesn’t last until the upgrade period, they try to charge you full retail price which is about $500 dollars for outdated phones.

I’m 11 months into my 2 year contract and have 2 cracks that cover about 1/3 of the screen. This is unacceptable to me and I’m not going to pay $500 dollars for a new phone. Even though Evan says that the Iphone is the best phone on the market, I’m not an Apple guy and find the Samsung Galaxy’s able to fit all my needs. I currently have the Galaxy 3 and have been pretty happy.

AT&T will give a Galaxy 4 free to a new customer. This is my starting point in negotiating and what I want. On Saturday, I called the retention department and the rep wouldn’t budge on getting me a new phone. He said I was threatening him and that a Galaxy costs $500 and the only way Verizon makes money is by customers playing out their contracts (this company made 11 billion last year FYI). We weren’t getting anywhere so I tried again with another rep on Monday. The next rep said I could purchase another line, turn my current line into a minimum charge and then get a Galaxy 4 for $100 on the other line. What the hell am I going to do with 2 lines? This once again wasn’t leading anywhere and we were unable to come up with a solution.

Today I called At&t and was prepared to make the switch if I couldn’t get anywhere with Verizon. They offered a plan that was 1 gb of data, unlimited call and text for $60 dollars a month and I would get a new Galaxy 4 for nothing. I was ready to drop Verizon, incur about 200 dollars of termination charges (which I wasn’t going to pay and take a hit on my credit score), and swap to At&t. I called Verizon and asked for retention and got a rep who heard my position and wanted to help me out. I explained what I was prepared to do, he talked to his manager and got me an upgraded price of a Galaxy 4 for $150 dollars with a $50 dollar rebate.

This was a minor victory for me because of my consistent disregard for any contract I sign with Verizon. Verizon offers insurance on the phone for $10 dollars a month. Hypothetically if I took insurance for the 11 months I owned the phone, and then paid the $99 deductible to get a new Galaxy 3, I’d be down 100 bucks and have a lesser phone. What I did was obviously a better play. Now if I was Ck4, I probably would have gotten the newest Iphone, Google Glass, a new Playstation 4, and a lifetime supply of Coors Light but I can only ask for so much.

Buying my Acura 2012 TL

I’ve leased a car for 9 years. At the end of every lease I turn my car in and get a new one. For my 3rd vehicle I said enough is enough. Acura had no TL’s to test drive and my TL was better than the 2014 TSX I tested. I had made 35 of my 36 payments and decided to purchase the car.

I walked into the dealership already filling out the credit app previously and we went through the basic paper work. The salesman gave the paperwork to his boss and told me he was with another customer and he would get to me shortly. I sat there for 45 minutes which was making me quite unhappy.

After being in the dealership for 80 minutes from start to finish, I went into the room with the big boss. I’ve been through the process before of running through paperwork and I wanted to make sure all the numbers were clear as day. My credit score is above 800, even though I have no money, so I was approved of a loan at 2.5%. With some basic research on the web, this rate seemed competitive.

The buy out of the vehicle was $23,500. Optional expenses include a warranty and GAP insurance, and mandatory expenses were sales tax as well as some menial registration fees that total about 100 bucks. I went with the 100k warranty for $2,500 and passed on the GAP. Is $2,500 for a 100k warranty a good deal? Who the fuck knows. If the car doesn’t break over the next 4 years it’s a waste of money. How likely is that to happen? Who the fuck knows. I know a transmission will cost more than $2,500.

He runs the papers through some old ass printer and I sign a bunch of papers. I put $1,700 down to cover some title and tags (at least that’s what I’m told) and this also allowed me to get a 2.5% rate (again who the hell knows). My payment gets bundled with the warranty and I walk away having a payment that is 30 dollars less than what I’m paying now for the next 5 years. The blue book on the car is around $21.000 which puts me underwater a couple of k. For being 6k miles over the allotted 36,000 at the end of the lease ($1,200 cost), I don’t think it’s too bad.

New Club Shoes

I’ve never purchased a nice pair of shoes. I’ve had suit and dress shoes but nothing that I felt was “cool” for the club. After many years of going to clubs, I finally decided to purchase a pair of shoes that will make me feel normal. To describe the shoes that I used to wear to clubs would be like Dockers that have laces. They are fine for sales trips and an alternative to sneakers but no one would ever comment, “nice shoes”.

I went to the mall and had an idea of what I was looking for. Black or brown are standard with jeans and I was looking for something with no shoe laces. I came across the pair pictured for 100 bucks and figured I’d make the investment. They fit well and looked as normal as I could think normal looks. I’m not into fashion so I have no idea what brands are popular or what style is in. All I know is that I’ll be let into the club with these and they look decent with jeans. It’s worth it to spend money on these types of shoes because you only need 1 pair. I wish I would have done so 10 years ago. I’m curious if anyone reads this could point out a better selection. The purple shirt has never been worn by me before in public.

By Tom Stortz|2014-07-24T09:07:02-04:00July 23rd, 2014|My Life|2 Comments

PPA Strikes Again

After reading Gourlay’s post, I felt obligated to post this as misery loves company. There was about a 50% doubt in my mind that the spot I parked in wasn’t a spot. It was at 9:30 at night when I parked but you can tell the PPA strikes early as the army was roaming the streets at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. You should notice my nice Glacier background on my checks. I saw a car parked in the same exact spot the next day and was going to move my ticket onto his windshield and hope he didn’t notice it was his car. My conscience kicked in.

By Tom Stortz|2014-07-21T12:47:36-04:00July 21st, 2014|My Life|1 Comment

Minor Grievances to Piss You off Just Enough to Write a Blog Post about it

It’s easy to take a minor grievance and turn it into something bigger than it is. Here are a few examples from my life that tick me off.

Group Texts – Group texts have their place. When a large group of people are meeting at a certain spot at a certain time, group texting makes the most sense. A group text should be a succinct, brief communication method that has a focal point. When I start to get annoyed is when there are 10 people on a group text, organizing an event that’s going to happen 2 months from now, and lasts 50 messages where my opinion is worthless. This translates to mass emails as well. Pertinent information I’m fine with. Ask yourself, is Tom going to delete this email? If the answer is yes, don’t send it.

Losing in Basketball – I’ve been running hoop now for the past few weeks to stay in shape. It has actually replaced running for the most part for me. When I have to drive 15 minutes to the courts, find parking in a crowded ass place, and then finally get in a game, I can’t stand losing. Today we lost, some random kid in jeans called next, we waited a game, and then Adam missed out getting on our team because some scrub was too stubborn to sit. Bad situation. This goes hand in hand with a little kid playing with my ball, taking it over to another court, having grown men take the ball from the kid, and then me having to tell them it’s my ball with no marking whatsoever to indicate it. I did learn though from a youngin’ that our 4 white person basketball shoes don’t even combine to be worth the KD’s.

Forgetting TV When I Watch it Drunk – Last night I drank 5 12 oz Rolling Rocks and 3 16oz Lagers in a span of 5 hours. This isn’t a huge intake for me but it’s enough to get me buzzed. I got back at about 10pm last night and wasn’t quite ready to fall asleep so I put on an episode of Fargo. Alex told me he liked Fargo and I’ve been watching it. His reason for liking it was Billy Bob is great. A second time I saw him he told me about Fargo and said, “Billy Bob is great.” I was thinking to myself, “dude I get it, he’s a good actor, I’ll give it a shot.” After watching the first 7 episodes, Billy Bob is great. Anyway, I watched 26 minutes last night and sit here writing this post with 0 idea of what I actually watched. I have to go back and rewind it and essentially watch it again. Doing anything that you want to remember when you are drunk is pointless.

Me Telling Sam His Post Sucked – Was this a nice thing to write? No. Would I be annoyed if I was him. Probably. I just like making it known that I know I’m being a dick when I do things like that and hope he doesn’t take it to heart. No one likes being told what they write sucks even if it does. I don’t do it to get my own personal satisfaction either. I read the post and honestly didn’t take much out of it so I told him it sucked. It was mean spirited. I can do better.

Missing the Trash Can – Trash cans have some force field around them when you try to throw trash in them. Everything I throw from more than a foot away hits the rim and bounces under the most annoying spot to pick it up from. I’m not a huge proponent (no clue if I used that word right) of the chart on the right because if I miss, I don’t waste my time shooting it again.

By Tom Stortz|2014-07-18T10:23:53-04:00July 17th, 2014|My Brain, My Life|2 Comments

Childhood Summer Days

While sitting in my cube for the 27th straight work day, I thought back to my carefree childhood summer days and how I spent my time. For the record I don’t work in a cube and this my 3rd straight work day but I probably haven’t taken a day off since that Center City Sips Wednesday where I got too wasted and couldn’t make it in which was June 12th. Back on topic, when you are that young you don’t realize how good you have it and how you’ll never have it again unless you become a multi-millionaire and you know the answer to that, you can’t. Here is how I spent my days:

Maple Manor Swim Club – I think the pool used to open at 10am and we’d get there early and spend the days playing tether ball, eating frozen Snickers, passing the band test to use the diving tank, and other normal outdoor activities. This was the hub of all childhood activity. We could ride our bikes there and it was open the entire day which led to many visits.

WWF – This is easily one of my weirder memories but I remember leaving the pool early on days to watch the WWF. These were the glory days with Hulk, the Ultimate Warrior, Macho Man, Jake the Snake, and Rick Rude. Jeff used to love the Big Boss Man. In one of my oddest childhood crushes, I liked Sherri Martell who use to go around with Ted DiBiase and the Macho Man.

Cartoons – I used to love Cartoons. Looney Tunes when I was young was my favorite but for this specific time period I remember Animaniacs and Tiny Toons which I loved, Talespin and Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers which I thought were average, and Doug and Hey Arnold on Nick which weren’t on at that time but still classics.

I could add the normal things like Nintendo, bike riding, manhunt, and other normal thing people do but I don’t have much to add.

By Tom Stortz|2014-07-16T08:55:07-04:00July 16th, 2014|Childhood|2 Comments

3 Rounds to the Weekend

I had a good weekend for a change. I’m not sitting here on a Monday complaining how dehydrated I am. I’m feeling good and fairly proud of myself for doing something productive.

My plan was to do the Phil’s 10k on Saturday which would mean no drinking on Friday night. This was a slight inconvenience because I knew there were going to be a lot of fun things going on Friday night. After work I made a decision to go golfing by myself as this activity would make my decision making easy. I called a few courses, gauged the level of speed, and chose Bella Vista in Gilbertsville. It took me over an hour to get there but I got right off. I played two balls per hole and thoroughly enjoyed myself while smoking a stogie. Once I caught people I was able to practice on the hole which was much needed. Player 1 finished with an 87 from the backs and player 2 missed a few holes but didn’t play as well.

I got home around 9 and watched a 30 for 30 on OJ before falling asleep. I woke up the next day at 6:30am to get to the race which started at 8. I dropped a deuce the moment I woke up but I kind of had to drop another one as I went through the registration process. There were a lack of bathrooms at the race and I had to hold it. The race went off and I found myself in the top 10 running in neighborhoods I was very familiar with. I felt pretty good the entire race even though my leg felt like it was going to cramp up. I hardly felt like I was moving through the trail portions but I finished with a respectable 37:08, 6 minute pace, which was good for 8th place. This was 45 seconds faster than my last 10k.

I met with Chad, Nikkii, and Auggie after the race and we ate some food and chatted it up. I should have stayed for the awards as I got 2nd in my age group. I offered my pie to Nathan and he seemed pleased. I went back to UD, showered, got a haircut, then met Chad, Nikkii, and the Rock for a few beers at Chickie and Pete’s. We shot the shit and after I drove to Lederach to play golf with the Shee and Bud. Bud arrived on time and we enjoyed a pleasant afternoon. I was atrocious around the greens and hole #13 is a complete F job. I finished with a 90 and the Shee put down an 87. Bud was a bit higher.

I was starting to feel a bit tired but I went back to Philly, showered, then met the Rock out at 19 which is a swanky bar in the Bellevue. We bar hopped and talked like we always do even though we only see each other every few months. We called the night quits at midnight because I was exhausted.

I woke up early Sunday morning feeling good. I watched the 2 episodes of the Leftovers which I’m gung ho on and then played bball with the Shee. The games were average and then instead of watching the World Cup, we decided to go golfing at Lulu. The round was great as there were hardly any people on the course. We finished in just over 3 hours and I had a great back firing a 39 for an 84 total. Donald got me a few times on the front or else I could have gotten lower. I went home after that and watched Ray Donovan and the new Leftovers and put a full weekend in the books.

Golf is expensive and I probably spent 140 bucks on rounds this weekend but I enjoy it and you can’t put a price on happiness. I think that rounds in the future will continue on this downward trend and hopefully this will be the year I can play in the 70’s. I expect a full week of good blog posts as well.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:00:31-04:00July 14th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

My Herb Kohl Story

Herb

Herbert H. “Herb” Kohl (born February 7, 1935) is an American businessman and politician. He is a former United States Senator from Wisconsin and a member of the Democratic Party. He is also a philanthropist and the former owner of the Milwaukee Bucks of the National Basketball Association.

In April of this year, he sold the Milwaukee Bucks for $550 million dollars after buying them for $18 million in 1985. He hit the news recently by giving former employees of the Bucks checks that range from $500 – $100,000 dollars. My story goes back about 25 years.

Groovin’

When I was a little guy, my dad had season tickets to the Sixers. We sat in row G by the half court line and the opposing team would have seats for their fans in 2 of the nearby rows. My parents would tell me to “be little” and I’d act like a baby going through the line to get in for free. I don’t know the exact date, probably close to 1985, when Herb bought the team so I was 3 or 4. I must have charmed his pants off with my little kid swagger because he asked my parents for their address. A few weeks later an autographed ball with every Milwaukee Bucks player arrived as a gift from Mr. Herb Kohl.

I think I was a moron and ended up playing with the ball as the years went on but I remember the ball vividly. To think how a team owner would go out of his way to send a Sixers fan’s child an autographed ball was an awesome gesture. Hell, I’m blogging about it 25 years later. These are the type of people that the world needs more of. Herb Kohl is an generous, kind person. I wonder how many other little kids he’s touched. Scratch that last sentence.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:01:04-04:00July 10th, 2014|Childhood, My Life|1 Comment