We Don't Walk Slow

Off the Schneid

So my 0-7 streak on betting NFL is over. I hit the Ravens -3 last night for $30 dollars to win $34. That puts the record at 1-7 (-$186) for the season. Since I didn’t tweet the bet it’s hard to count as official but I have the screen shot to prove it from Bovada. This brings me into this weekend where some action will be taken. Picks will be placed throughout the weekend and I’ll put them on Twitter if you wish to do the opposite.

I also entered a $55 FanDuel tournament against 3 people which is a different strategy than I’ve been implementing. I was doing a smaller buy in with more players but this may prove more effective. My start though wasn’t ideal as I listened to the FanDuel guru Evan and played Torrey Smith last night. He was a bust but at least I had Justin Tucker to offset him a tad. It’s still playing behind the 8 ball but I’m not too worried. I also want to add that I have no problem with a person suggestion a player who does poorly as long as they had conviction and logic behind it.

I got some inside info from the Shee on who to pick in the FedEx tourny for 10 million and he said Billy Horschel. I did this:

He fired a 4 under yesterday to sit atop the leaderboard after round 1. Should be fun heading into the weekend.

These are the easiest posts to write because they don’t require me to think, only rehash reality. Being the case, I should add that I’m almost ready for the half marathon as I’ve been able to run 8 miles without stopping in decent time. In 2 weeks I’ve improved significantly. I was in good 5k shape but nowhere near half shape when I started. The first day of training I ran 7 straight miles with 6:45 being the fastest. 2 days ago I ran 8 with 6:18 being the fastest. I still have 9 days so I’ll try to get 10 straight without stopping at around this pace and then I can feel confident I’ll at least be able to finish 13.1 without dying.

I also watched Good Morning, Vietnam which stars Robin Williams. It was one of his first full feature roles and received 89% on Rotten Tomatoes. I liked it but one scene in particular stole the show. Without ruining anything, Williams is quitting his radio gig due to the lack of appreciation he is getting from his superiors. This scene reminds him why he does what he does. Starts at 7:13.

By Tom Stortz|2014-09-12T09:31:15-04:00September 12th, 2014|My Life|1 Comment

An Exciting Time .

28 posts left until I hit my 2,000 and last post for rnningfool.com. I have thought about this decision and will continue to think about it over the next 28 posts. I have been jotting down other ideas for websites and I’ve come up with 4 or 5 that I’d be excited to partake in. I already have Gourlay on board for brainstorming and am awaiting Sam’s participation. This is an open invitation to anyone who may have interest, not commitment, just interest.

The key to a good website is that it informs its readers with information that interests or improves them as a person. This website doesn’t do either. This website highlights my life which is only of great interest to me. It’s time to move away from this format and I’ll probably use this as a tool for throwing out ideas of which direction to move. I’ve spent years building this so it may not go away completely. Maybe I’ll use it as a more personal blog with less updates instead of what it is trying to be as a mainstream website. Good times ahead.

By Tom Stortz|2014-09-03T08:31:48-04:00September 3rd, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

The Avalon Bike Catastrophe by Jeff

Stortzfest was in full effect in Avalon, NJ 2007, and I was out of my freshman year of college ready to rage. Obviously I couldn’t go to the bar with Tom, Wagon, Rock and whoever else was there, so I had make my own fun. I found a house party to go to about 50 blocks away that was a friend of a friend. Politely I asked Nancy if I could use her bike to head down there because I knew I would have some drinks…she obliged as always for some reason.

The party was wild…I was bumming over some girl which just fueled my incredible ability to drink myself retarded without puking; then by the end of the night I was basically walking in circles back to my bike to head on home. About halfway in, riding down a main road in Avalon, I happened to notice an oncoming police car. I tried my best not to swerve, but I knew that I was a potential target as I wasn’t wearing a helmet and it was 3am. I glanced back in the road to see if I made a clean getaway, and this is where things went south. The police car was doing a “U” turn! PANIC!!!!!!

Understand that I am, and always have been, completely confident in my ability to evade police at all costs. I’m fast, athletic, and smart enough to know when to make my move. I always know where the exit is in any party I attend and I intentionally hang near it depending on the threat level. I have hidden in thorn bushes, jumped fences that must have been 2 or 3 stories high, and literally laid face down in mud to keep from getting an underage drinking citation in high school. But back to the story…

PANIC!!!! Once I saw that “U” turn being made I kicked it as hard as I possibly could to the nearest cross block. I was flying! My intention was to fly into a back yard, quietly of course, and to hide out until the cop gave up searching for me. Instead…..BOOOMMMM! I had no idea what hit me! I literally went from 20 mph entering a sidewalk ramp, to wincing in pain on the ground while my bike laid next to me like a dead steed. Turns out that the sidewalk entrance ramp was not really a ramp. Ya know, the kind that just have a curb to step onto because some dumbass was too lazy to make it a slope. There are probably a total of 5 of these babies in Avalon, and of course I sought out the one when biking drunk into the abyss. I was hurt. I was really hurt. But even more so, I was determined not to end up in the holding cell that night.

I painfully pulled myself off the ground and grabbed the handlebars in a attempt to salvage the bike in this chase. The police officer must have had a block or two to drive until he would see this pathetic scene. I had to ditch the bike….my mother would be so upset tomorrow morning. The tire was a little mangled, so I just drug the bike into the front lawn of the corner house and left it laying on the rocks as I made my move to the fence to continue my GTA style getaway. “There’s no time for finding the gate” I thought to myself as I knew I was about to be spotted. I jumped the fence in a drunken fashion and plopped on the other side. If my bike wasn’t in this person’s front yard, I might have been safe where I was. Instead I had to get on with the chase on foot…

My initial foot speed is relatively slow for a collegiate track runner, but I swear, I was like a cheetah trying to run in sandals on these backyard rocks. About 6 steps in it was as if The Big Bossman himself clotheslined me back down on my back. I know you are thinking that the cop had outsmarted me here, but it’s not the case. This person literally had a clothesline in their backyard, and I ran fullspeed, neck first into it. I got up slowly this time. My injuries were adding up and I wasn’t sure that I could, or should, try to continue this torturous attempt to beat the law. I started a sad limp-jog type movement toward the back fence to get on with my quest when, what do ya know, I was clotheslined again. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY LINES OF CLOTHES TO DRY IN ONE TINY HOUSE! Buy a god damn dryer! I kinda remember thinking that I ought to just stop and bury myself in the rocks and maybe he won’t find me. Instead I crawled to the back fence in agony and pulled myself over like a fat kid trying to get over a gate. On the other side I had to walk through a neighbor’s yard and took refuge in a bush. This is where I called my trusty brother and his hero of a friend Chad to come pick me up. Chad claims I was crying when I made that call. I can assure you I was not.

By Tom Stortz|2014-08-28T17:24:55-04:00August 28th, 2014|Childhood|1 Comment

Your Prime

The sample size was 2,116 UK adults.

I’ve pondered this question before and I’m glad that people in their later 30’s and 40’s still feel in their prime. I can guarantee that my prime is going to be between 32-39. Aside from the possible declining athletic ability, my intelligence will continue to grow. Coincidental day for me to post this because I’m heading to a track today to time trial a mile which will be evidence towards my physical state.

Obviously the best results are the guys in their 80’s who say they are still in their prime. This spurred what I thought was the best reddit comment, “I feel like the ~10% of people who answered “in my prime” at 80+ would’ve also said “in my prime” in every other age group had they been asked. That’s the life I want to lead. I’m 19 now and I’m going to be in my prime until I’m dead.”

Not being an athlete, I think prime refers to when you are the most intellectually stimulated and have the most motivation to make something happen. You have to be at your peak brain capacity to be in your prime and this only comes with experience and knowledge. This is why I think the range from 30-40 is when people should be hitting their prime. The people who answer prime in 20’s probably get burnt out from work, drugs, or life stress and think back to days when they had their free time which puts them in their prime. How can YOU be in your prime when you are raising a family and your main focus is making sure they are being crafted for their prime?

PS. I hate people who answer don’t know.

By Tom Stortz|2014-08-26T10:14:36-04:00August 26th, 2014|My Life|3 Comments

Four Eyes – Childhood Trauma

I’ve needed glasses since the 3rd grade. I didn’t wear contacts until 10th grade. For those 7 years, I was too embarrassed to wear my glasses in school. This became quite problematic when you can’t see the board. I someone how managed without wearing my glasses consistently until 8th grade, Mr, Sieger, algebra.

Mr. Sieger was a no BS math teacher. After every quiz or test he’d post your score outside his classroom by your Student ID and it was nerve racking starting from the top and scanning towards the bottom which is where I usually was. The reason I hated this class so much was that he used the projector to post every quiz. Naturally the seating chart had me sitting in the back and this didn’t bode well for seeing his chicken scratch math equations.

I always carried my glasses around in my book bag but I would never use them. One day Mr. Sieger had his standard quiz on the projector and I couldn’t make out any of the writing. I had to suck it up and wear my glasses. After putting them on and clearly seeing the projector, Chung Lee, who was in the row beside me looked at me and started laughing hysterically. It’s one of those moments where you know why you don’t where glasses. This was probably for the best because after that day I didn’t have a problem wearing the glasses.

This tale makes me laugh because I was so scared of fitting in that I essentially walked around life with no clarity. As I look back, how did I play sports well? I couldn’t see the ball. I used to be mortified to bat in travel baseball when the game started getting too dark to see the ball. It’s funny because I didn’t tell the coach or anything, I just would get up to the plate and hope to hit the fuzzy ball with my bat. This is probably why I batted .250.

Finally in 10th grade I got contacts and life was wonderfully better. Why I didn’t wear my glasses is certainly questionable because it wasn’t like I was a cool kid or anything. I was already a nerd playing video games and Magic the gathering, I’m not sure what I was trying to preserve. Life sure was different as a kid.

By Tom Stortz|2014-08-24T12:38:33-04:00August 24th, 2014|Childhood, My Life|2 Comments

Woman in the Workplace

Stortz tool secretary

This email I received goes down as one of the most classic responses I’ve ever received in business. The one woman company is in Washington state and I issued a PO about 2 months ago. I assumed it would take longer than normal but I started wondering what was happening when I hadn’t seen anything for about a month. I tried emailing and calling and wasn’t getting anywhere. This is the response I got a few weeks after trying to track her down.

Tom,

I apologize for the delay in answering emails.

I didn’t realize I would have orders past June. Additionally, I just welcomed another child into my family and have been recovering from surgery. I’m ready to get back to business and back to work.

Is your order a priority? I ran out of stock in March and was advised by the doctor to put off manufacturing until after the baby was born.

I’ll get started this weekend and hopefully be able to ship within a few days.

Again, I apologize for being unavailable. I hope my absence has not been too much of an inconvenience.

For anyone who reads this and wants to learn a thing or two about business, here’are few pointers.

Never admit your business is this slow by saying “I didn’t realize I would have orders past June”. Not only are you saying you do no business but you are saying how stupid you are for not having anyone even checking your business on even a WEEKLY basis.
I don’t care that you welcomed a child into the world. Your personal life has nothing to do with me. This is only an excuse for why you weren’t doing your job and excuses are for the weak.
Is your order a priority? Are you fucking kidding. No Ms., ship it whenever you feel it’s good for you.
I know for a fact you don’t manufacture this product so this is a straight up lie. Why is a single woman who is having a baby manufacturing hand tools?

This is what she should have written and I wouldn’t be posting it on my blog:

Tom,

This is quite embarrassing but I was irresponsible in regard to my business. I did not take appropriate actions in setting up proper communication while I was planning for maternity leave. I’ve since received your order and will have it shipped as soon as I can. I’m sorry for the delay and I appreciate your patience.

By Tom Stortz|2014-08-22T16:32:57-04:00August 22nd, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

What I Loved as a Stupid Kid

I re-read the Advanced Genius book which is hilarious and insightful at the same time. It’s a book that promotes finding ways to like something instead of looking for ways to hate it. This made me think about things that I truly enjoyed and this brought me back to my childhood which is when I demonstrated a feeling that was more natural than today. This is tougher to explain but I think as you get older it’s harder to “love” something. This brings me to this list of childhood joys.

Jim Fenerty – Head Coach of GA Basketball

Germantown Academy Basketball Camp

For 3 weeks in the Summer a private school hosted a basketball camp M-F. GA has a great basketball reputation and put on a premier camp. Coaches from local colleges would give demonstrations and their current players would act as the instructors. They even brought Kobe in one week but he had “car troubles”. Rasheed Wallace threw a basketball at my head.

There were 3 leagues depending on your age group and you’d spend the whole day going through drills and playing games. It’s possible now that I look back at it that this was the most fun time in my entire life. One key memory I had was when I played Bud in a 1v1 game for the best one on one player of the league which was determined in a tournament structure. I think my career record vs Bud is pristine which I’m sure he would remember better than me. There was also a scenario called a lightning game when the game would start with a tie score and there would be 2 minutes on the clock to play out. With 3 seconds left, down by 2, I got the ball and hoisted a shot from (in my memory) way beyond mid court and swished it. That got me camper of the day. Not only was this camp incredibly fun, but it made me a better basketball player which never left me.

ManHunt & Capture the Flag

This is kind of a weird one but I loved the game Manhunt and Capture the Flag. During summer nights a group of us would get together at Pishy’s house and use his yard and the Herman’s to play. The game entailed hiding and running which is about as basic as it gets but I think the element of out smarting the people trying to catch you was the allure. “They’ll never find me hiding 50 feet up in this tree.” No shit. The all time thrill was hiding in the actual base where prisoners were kept and tagging them out as they came in. Capture the flag was equally fun. I’m sure if I was slower these games wouldn’t be as satisfying.

Complex, best multiplayer level. No question.

Goldeneye

When I first played Goldeneye I was blown away by the multiplayer. You’re telling me that 4 people can play at the same time?!?! I went home and told JC that I had to get the new console and that’s exactly what I did. This was perhaps the best multiplayer game of all time in relation to when it was out. This was before killing was fragging and screen looking was a major factor. Once you mastered this game, you could have incredible multiplayer action. 2v2 was also a huge hit. Anyone who knows anything about this game knew that paintball mode, licensed to kill, with pistols was the best multiplayer set up. I could say without a doubt that I loved this game. “No OddJob”. I was always Mishkin. SOF would eventually replace this but I’ll get into that later.

By Tom Stortz|2014-08-21T14:06:50-04:00August 21st, 2014|Childhood, My Life|2 Comments

Fighting Off the Sunday Scaries

I’m currently listening to a mix on Spotify called “Have a Great Day!”. It started with “Stayin Alive” by the Bee Gees, “I’m Gonna Be (500 miles)” by the Proclaimers, and followed by “Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin. It isn’t working. The Sunday Scaries strike hard.

Sunday Scaries – The dreadful feeling on a Sunday evening after a long hard week of boozing. Regret, the shakes, having no money left in your wallet and spending the day hugging the porcelain throne are all common symptoms.

Adam introduced the phrase to me and I think we’d both agree that the scaries hit hard right before you have to go to sleep on Sunday. He’ll say that I can’t get the scaries because I don’t have a real job with a true boss but any weekend phasing into a weekday situation can bring scaries. I’ve begun to notice these weeks passing by at a moment’s notice and that scares me more than the scaries. Summer is almost over, what the fuck.

I have a few entries to write about that I was too lazy to get to this weekend so hopefully I’ll find some time to sit down. I played some golf this weekend and played pretty good which will bring some pressure to put down some low rounds before the season ends. I was able to shoot a 79 in a tournament structure that varied which tee-boxes you tee off from which makes the score unofficial. I was 86 the day before though on a tougher course. I also added 2 NFL pre-season bets on the Patriots and Panthers to push my pre-season record to 4-0. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut. Aside from that blip in excitement, I don’t have much doing.

By Tom Stortz|2014-08-18T08:31:38-04:00August 18th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

PWD Going to the Well One Too Many Times

The most egregious department the city has.

I hate the Philadelphia Water Department. Most people in Philly hate the PPA but the water department is more vicious and far more subtle. What I’m going to show you is considered rape in most parts of the nation but somehow the city gets away with it. Here are 5 bills from ’10, ’11, ’12, ’13, and ’14 and how they have dramatically increased due to the city’s need for money.

2010 PWD Bill

2010 – 2 out of our 6 building were being charge a storm water charge for $4.14. Only 1 building is actually charged for the use of the water which is on a separate bill. For whatever reason the city decided in this year that they weren’t making enough money from the water department.

2011 PWD Water Bill

2011 – The price of the storm water charge has doubled. They are still only billing 2 of the 6 buildings. We have 6 buildings that all use the same storm water drain. It’s uncertain if this was a mistake by the water department or if times were a changing.

2012 PWD Water Bill

2012 – Storm water charge has gone up another $4 dollars a month to more than $12. All 6 buildings are now being charged. That’s 4 more buildings being charged the storm water charge. The balance is high because during the transition from billing 2 buildings instead of 6, they were sending no bills. Due to their negligence this allowed them to charge a PENALTY for late payment. This is the start of the city cashing in on an outrageous storm water charge.

2013 PWD Water Bill

2013 – Same circumstance as the previous year. Thanks for one year of consistency. I assume they knew citizens were getting tired of a monthly increase. The city decided to play nice for a year before it started laying down the hammer.

2014 PWD Water Bill

2014 – Price of the storm water charge is now another $5 dollars higher. They now send 6 bills every month but I would too if my cost was $.48 and I was able to charge $18 dollars for the same thing. Enough is enough.

Conclusion

It never ends with these guys. The cost of using the storm water drain has increased 400% in the last 5 years. We now pay over 1,000 dollars a year to use the city’s storm water drain. This doesn’t even include the USE of the water. Give me other services where citizens put up with this nonsense. Why is this not a monopoly? There are no other choices. This is outrageous and somebody needs to stand up to this unreasonable means of billing customers. Pass this on if you feel the same way and that it’s time to stand up to the city.

By Tom Stortz|2014-08-13T15:37:36-04:00August 13th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

Durham, Nc

I woke up at 6 and got my complementary 2x2x2 breakfast at Ihop. It was tasty and I left a 5 dollar tip. I had one business visit that could result in a home run but time will tell. I drove from Alexandria to Durham in the 8 hour day and that’s where the fun began.

I checked into a Sleep Inn smoking room, the only room as available, for 80 bucks. I got to the room and it was unbearable. I sort of knew I didn’t want a smoking room but didn’t know how bad it would be. I turned on the AC and left to take a run around Lake Crabtree.

Lake Crabtree was big but how big was it? I started running around the outside and was trail running until I hit a mile mark. I stumbled on some deer and freaked them out the same way they did to me. I saw a 2 mile mark, then a 3, then a 4. At this point I was unsure how big this freaking lake was. At 5 I was tired and knew I could no longer turn around. At the 6.5 mile mark I made it back to where I started with a sigh of relief. I went back to the Sleep Inn sweaty.

I decided it wasn’t worth staying in my smoke room so I showered and left. I told the clerk I was leaving and he checked the room. He said I used it and checked in after 4 so there was nothing he could do. I left without a fight. I went across the street to make sure I could get a room and called Jake at Sleep Inn back. I told him I was disputing the charges and he amazingly said he’d see what he could do. 10 minutes later he said he could move me to a non smoking room. “Too late” as I sit here in my king bed and non smoking room at the Comfort Inn suites for 20 more bucks. I got Bojangles for dinner and the lemonade is awesome. I also saw the Duke campus and threw up some pics on Instagram to the right. Until tomorrow

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T12:53:57-04:00August 5th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments