The last 5 weeks at South Bowl my averages over 3 games have been 192, 193, 206, 189, and 196. This could be looked at and described as consistency based on a 15 game sample size. Lanes are freshly oiled as we arrive so the conditions are also consistent. This is what I consider to be fun bowling. Last night was our Wednesday night league which I am stating is the last time I roll at Hi-Spots unless conditions approve.

Owner John with Andrew Bynum

To start with, we were put on lanes 5 and 6, where inevitably the balls get trapped because a pin gets lodged in between the return and the balls. This slows the game down because Steve has to manually go back to fix this issue at least 3 times within 1 1/2 games. You will see this in the below video. We arrived at 7:30pm and didn’t finish until 11pm to roll 3 games with 5 players on each team.

My second gripe applies primarily with me because I throw a ball that has revolutions on it. Whereas most of the league throws a straight ball or one that has so few revs that it doesn’t matter much, I struggle to find the pocket shot after shot. Why is this? Mainly because the oil pattern is so messy that understanding where it is actually is a mystery. When I try to roll down the right portion of the lane, it shoots across because there is no oil. Then I move left and roll through the oil in the middle and the ball misses the pocket right because there is no catch. I completely understand saying that I’m whining like a baby and not adjusting but it’s not just me. Colin who is one of the best bowlers in the league is carrying a 165 average and throws a pretty reved up ball and he’s way better than a 165 bowler. Josh, the best bowler in the league, is averaging 186 and says he’s well over 200 on other lanes. It’s not like it’s unbowlable, I still rolled reasonable games last night but the misses are a freaking joke. Try picking up spares where every part of the lane produces a different result. Maybe you’ll catch some oil, maybe you won’t. Hi Spots is great if you have no other experience in other league bowling but I’ve frankly had enough when I’ve actually seen what a real league is like at South Bowl. Get it together or else the bowlers who are actually trying to improve their game won’t show. PS – The house balls are a crime to humanity.

I’m sure my bowling life will lose the appeal but for now it’s here to stay. With 4 weeks left in our playoff push, I’ve been rolling better than ever and believe our team is set up perfect to hoist a championship. We’ve all been steadily improving and aside from this season, it will never happen like this again. We started as beginners to the league to set our average where as other teams were already established. This means we are constantly on the up-climb until eventually we hit our peak…which we haven’t yet.

This game was a bit of misnomer as I rolled 5 strikes on one lane and then switched to another due to mechanical failure, which has to be viewed as a disadvantage. The 4 in the 10th was a real bonehead roll which I’m not even sure how it happened but crazy shit occurs when you’re inexperienced in these higher scored arenas. Alex gets 0 points for creativity.
* Rob Kelley bowls the way I throw dice, back handed and awkward. He did man up to do a shot of Old Crow though which is never an easy task.

*Edit

Sam’s 12.86 is leading the league for most improved bowler.

If you’re reading both Sam and my blogs, you’ll know we’ve gotten pretty into bowling. We’ve really upped our games at South Bowl (Sam is now 181 avg, and I’m 180) but my Wednesday league at Hi-Spots is a different story. The highest average in the league is 184 and it’s coming from a 206 bowler at other lanes. Bowling at Hi-Spots is about a 20 pin difference. The main difference is the amount of oil on the lanes which is consistent at South Bowl and always different at Hi-Spots. I’ll share the details of the Wednesday league.

We are currently out of the playoffs (17-19) and then there are 5 teams who have in between 22 and 19 wins. We desperately need wins with 3 weeks left in the league. Last night was a battle. We lost the first game by 15 pins with their 4th bowler getting a turkey in the 10th to virtually seal it. We won the 2nd game by 25 pins with our entire team closing out the 10th with marks. This lead to an interesting final game.

If you read how I only needed 1 pin to get a victory for our team 2 weeks and failed, you’ll know my confidence was a bit shaky as the anchor. We started out the 3rd game hot and built an early lead. They stormed back and got it close in the 10th but we had the advantage. 2 of our 4 bowlers went open in the 10th which left the door open. I was coming off a strike in the 9th and my opponent was open in a tight game. A strike would seal it. I rolled a ball that missed the pocket right and left me with the 5 pin. My opponent rolled a strike. I hit the spare. My opponent needed a strike or else it was over…and did. On the last ball, the other team was up 1 pin. I rolled first and came up clutch with a strike. Opponent needed a strike to win and anything else ties or loses…….he got it. We lost by a single pin and split the match 2-2. Tough to swallow. The close did boost my confidence though and I’m back to feeling comfortable in the anchor role which is good. My scores were 148, 168, 178 which is a huge improvement compared to what I’ve been bowling.  Big week next week against Living on a Spare.

Anyone who has played golf with me before knows I’m going to love this video. The fat kid making the other kid play by the rules is classic golf. Of course the Pres’s take was that the kid was harsh for making the other kid go back to the tee-box. Which made me think of this…

Let’s never forget this email sent on 7/21/11 that we still talk about. I’m not sure I’ve posted this before but I think 5 years in the archives is letting enough time pass.

I have one more question that I have thought about a lot, and you may choose not to respond but I have to get it off of my chest.

Is anyone looking?

What was your thinking when you decided to bring up the fact that I took a lateral drop instead of going back and re-teeing the ball on hole 6 at Turtle Creek. Regardless of if it was your intention or not, I will always go back to thinking about that comment/scenario when people ask what my lowest round ever was or when I talk about my round. I am a little perturbed that it wasn’t mentioned when we were at that hole or on the tee box. I was completely oblivious to looking to see if it was white stakes or red/yellow or whatever. I would have gladly re-teed and hit my 3rd from the teebox.

If the roles were reversed, you can bet your bottom dollar that there is no way in hell that I would bring up the fact that you didn’t keep an accurate score and should have re-teed on a hole- therefore raining on your parade. If I did notice it, maybe I would have thought that in my head, but I would not have said anything. No way. The only reason that I can think you mentioned that at 18 was to rain on my parade, no other reason. So now when I tell people the career round that I had, I have to bring up the slight infraction that was not brought up to me by my playing group until after hole 18.

Take this however you want, you are still my boy but I just think that comment at 18 could have gone unsaid. Especially considering the fact that there is no way I break 80 (or shoot 80 if I re-tee and take a stroke) ever again.

The round after this round was so tense which is also hilarious. On the 600 yard Lederach hole I hit a 3 wood from the turf that was OB by about 1 ft and ended up re-hitting off the turf again which I probably grounded. Good times. The funniest part of the story is that this situation never comes if the player just shot a normal round.

I haven’t been studying Photoshop lately but every once in a while a good idea pops up. This was my effort at creating a piece of art work for the team. Tap Tap TSSSSSSSSSS! Any thoughts on improvement from the crowd?

Sam asked me if I made myself the cobra? Uhhhh, yeah, of course I made myself the cobra. When you learn how to shop, you can make yourself the cobra instead of the garden snake slithering through the grass. When your venom is as deadly as mine on the alley, you’re the King Cobra. You’re lucky I don’t swallow your snake whole, digest it into a ball, and then roll it down the alley for a strike for a question like that. I’m a 175 avg in that league. What are you? 172. That’s tee ball.

Last night I pulled a choke in the last frame of a bowling match that was unthinkable. I’m talking 99%. Vegas would have won billions by all the people who would have been looking to make easy money. Before I tell the tale, I want to preface it with a post idea I was going to write about the evening before I bowled.

On Monday night I rolled a 580 series which was the high of my life. The lanes at South Bowl are consistent and I actually started to feel like I was becoming a better bowler. This in tune with some of the other events of my life had me thinking that I was really starting to excel in various areas not only dedicated to sports. I felt like when I was performing virtually any task, even one as simple as an interaction with another person, better than “normal” because my experience in general life was making me better at it. This had me thinking that I was going to write a post about how the older you get, the better you get. What happened last night happened for a reason. A humbling reason.

3 5 8

It was the 10th frame and our team was down by 20 or so pins and I was coming off a mark so it was even less. It was me against the Big Cheeese and he elected to go first. He threw a ball that left 2 pins in the center of the lane and I threw a ball that missed the pocket to leave the 3 pins which I think were the 3,5,8. Big Cheese missed his shot and it was up to me. I rolled a nice ball that midway down the lane I could tell was going to pick it up. It did. That brought the team score to 627 to 628. I needed 2 pins to win. I probably wouldn’t be writing this post if the outcome was different but the reality was I picked up 1 single pin to tie and we lost in the tiebreaker. To give some thought into how it happened I will do with pleasure.

I’ve been the anchor for months now and have had mixed results. Last week I needed 7 in the 10th and rolled a strike. I’ve lost to some better bowlers but have pretty much held my own. I’d give my win loss in the 10th at 65/35. There were definitely times where pressure got to me and I rolled a shitty shot. However, in recent times after going through that feeling on multiple occasions, I was getting better at just rolling a good ball. I take us back to last night where all I had to do was hit 1 pin and realized where I went wrong. My first thought was that I couldn’t possibly lose unless I threw the ball in the gutter which was only possible on the right side. This was a mistake because it’s a type of shot that I virtually never throw on my first ball. I had full confidence and didn’t think about the shot much because there was no way to fuck it up. I stayed so far out of the right hand side that the ball hit the little oil in the middle of the lane and started curling immediately where the lane had no oil to the left. I watched in horror as it dinked the 7 pin.

I learned a few ideas last night though that will make me better for it. As a metaphor for life, you can’t think something is a guarantee. It promotes a cocky mindset and when you roll a 1 in the 10th, you know there is room for improvement. As much embarrassment as there is when 40 (39+Steve) people watch you roll a 1, it makes you a better bowler and hungrier to improve. This is another learning experience and after getting through not feeling pressure to roll in the 10th, I learned that although you can’t overthink shots, you also can’t under think shots.

This title is much less aggressive than what I was going to name it which only Sam and Rock would know. Be thankful I didn’t but know it was a good title although slightly racist and inappropriate. Ask me in person and I’ll tell you.

I’ve been to Chicago a few times but never to only get drunk and watch college basketball. Sam and I got there around 5 and immediately went to Timothy O’Tooles to watch the basketball games. Little Rock overcoming Purdue in the high altitude got us started off on the right foot but we ended up on the left. Sam buying a Magners, “the beer” in a different type of can, was humorous as I knew he was going to do it when he asked me if I saw the other type of beer in the tub.

After that we ate some local food, played some pool, and met up with the Rock who is the 3rd member of our group. It was his birthday and neither Sam or I knew which I realized the day after. Whoopsie. We called Thursday an early night with Sam seemingly falling asleep at the bar.

Friday we woke up relatively early and ate breakfast before a rapper on the street called Sam a “handsome mutherfucker”. He said to pay him what his rhymes were worth and I gave him a dollar. We visited the Bean and the Pier before going to Joe’s to watch the 11:15am games. Joes was ho-hum and we went to Wrigleyville after to bar hop. After some hopping we went up to the 96th floor of the Hancock tower to have an expensive drink and watch the clouds. We ate dinner at Melnicks where conversation headed into the downfall of society. The night proceeded into the Hubbard Inn where Sam had a U of Cincinnati girl flip him off for dissing her squard. Sam and I went to Howl at the Moon which was worse than the one in Philly to cap off our night.

Actually the previous day but these vertical pics are killing me.

The next day Norman? started us heading to the Flagship which I’d rate as my highlight. The bartenders were friendly and the atmosphere was great to watch a game. DJ on point too. Sam and I were aggressively drinking as I an-hero’d about 6 beers and 3 shots. We left while it was still light out but I have no idea the time. The nutjob Uber driver gave us some good tips while I tindered my way into embarrassment. We went to Gibson’s for a drink and then the Dinosaur. At this point my day starts getting a little black….

…..and then I woke up. Sunday we didn’t have a flight until 5pm which Sam and I barely made. All in all it was a great trip that involved betting on about 20 basketball games and drinking about 50 beers. No one got mad at each other and it was friendly and fun the entire time. Til next time.

Lot’s of events in my last few days that I’m not sure how to tackle all the info. I’m going to break it up into segments.

Saturday Bar Crawl

I started at 11am and went too hard, too early and was stumbling home at 5pm. 2 Fat Tires before breakfast, a Sazerac at breakfast, a hard cider and Flying Fish IPA at the Firehouse, Union Jack IPA at Rembrandts, Racer 5 at Urban Saloon, 1 more beer I can’t recollect and then 2 shots of whiskey is where I stopped remembering. I never stood a chance with the setup. What I should have done was ate an early breakfast and then ate lunch at 12 instead of brunch at 11. Doomed to fail from the start and I’m happy I safely completed the day.

Sunday Bowling and Poker

Weens showed up to bowling practice in bad shape. It was him and I and we lost to Evan and Sam in a 2v2. I pounded a pitcher by myself while everyone else was re-hydrating. I was off of 16 hours of sleep so I felt ok. After bowling Evan and I went to play some poker. I played 1-2 and had a few notable hands.

I called a raise with Q 10 and the flop came JK2. I checked, Irish bro checks, a bro bet 15, I called, Irish popped to 30, call, call. Brilliant Ace on the turn. I masterfully check, Irish goes all in for 100+ and I call and get it in having my opponent drawing dead.

I was dealt KK and called 15 not to lead on that I had a huge hand. A new player in seat 4 makes it 55, 2 guys call, and so do I. In hindsight I probably should have raised AI PF but I had 600 in front of me and didn’t want to run flat into AA. The flop comes Q72. Great flop for KK in my mind. The first player makes it 75 and has about 65 behind. My gut told me he had QQ, and the guy behind me had AA. With 200+ in the pot I couldn’t fold to the 75 bet even knowing that the guy behind me was going to push if he had me beat. I called (once again should have pushed) and shockingly the guy next to me CALLS the 75 too and I thought I was toast at this point and was ready to lose the money. The turn wasn’t a scare card and player 1 bets his last 65 which I begrudgingly call and the other guy folds saying he had JJ. I scooped the pot having no clue what the other guy had but didn’t really care. I played a little while longer hitting everything under the sun but wasn’t getting paid off because I had a 900 in front of me. I walked away with a nice $600 profit and decided to play a tournament.

Sunday Sugarhouse Tournament

I’m running out of pictures.

I joined an $85 tournament in the first level because I think it’s easy to get chips against horrible players rather than join late and push fold. I played incredibly tight to start and watched maniac after maniac push with bottom pair and flush draws. I knew my time would come. At the 50/100 level (starting stack is 12k) I made it 250 from the button with A8 suited. The flop came 679. I think it checked around and the turn was a 5. I bet 2,500 and a guy pushed 8k into me which I gladly called and beat his pair of 6’s to double up which was crucial.

The next few levels went by with little action from me before we got to push fold mode. With a mere 1 double up I got to the final table (started with 30 players). Blinds probably got to around 500/1000 and I was down to 12k. I pushed A6 suited and doubled up against 55 which was a huge boost. Next level I pushed AK and got called by 88 and doubled up to about 40k. This got me down to about 5 players and I started getting short again. I was stealing very infrequently (I also wasn’t picking up hands) so I was getting respect and not getting called light. With 4 left, I made a call on a maniac trying to steal my button with KQ and had him dominated against KT. I won and then called the 3rd place guy with A9 when he had 83 and was down to heads up. I had about 40-50k and the other guy had 260k and I declined any deal. We played heads up and I won a nice hand with A8 vs his K8 and then finished him off with KJ vs his A high for a $1,044 dollar win.

The Work Day From Hell

The tournament ended at around 1am on Sunday night and I had been drinking beer throughout. I woke up on Monday feeling like death. I went to work to find that my dad had inadvertently upgraded to Windows 10. This messed with some of the security features and the accounting software and prevented me from printing on networked computer. This had me on support calls for most of the day trying to figure the problem out. In the meantime I was getting phone calls from the worst kind of customers to go along with my body feeling like a turd. I was here until the last possible minute with people looking for me to next day air them shipments and the like. It was seriously one of the worst days of my existence.

Snakes on a Lane vs Strike You

I’m going to add some further info to Sam’s post about our bowling match last night. Our record is 16-12 in 6th place and Strike You is 17-11 in 3rd place. Their team 4player team avg is 783 to our 643. With the people who rolled, we were getting 92 pins. Sam recapped the games fine but I have a few more points to add. They definitely dominated the warm up time. Trevor also shot the 10 pin on his first ball and then threw a strike ball during warm up. They will hit some splits but they rarely missed a single pin which is where we still struggle. I had at least 1 blown 10 pin and 2, maybe 3, 7 pin misses. I also think their experience in late games helps as their anchor was big at the end of games, specifically rolling strikes into the 10th. Either way I think it was a big confidence booster to our team that we can hang with the best bowlers in the league.