T-woww
It’s 8:35 and I’m a functioning alcoholic. Well not really functioning. I am really wasted. Way more wasted than last week. I can barely type. My words are only complete because I am backspacing like no other. We did 4 car bombs before we went out. We being Jkash and I. Problem with Jkash and I, and I’m sure I will hear about this later, is that he is accepting offers at this point. Meaning he doesn’t HAVE to do anything if he doesn’t want to. I have a call scheduled at 10:30. Right now I’m a hurt piece.
Honestly, at a certain point last night I don’t remember anything. I remember doing some carbombs, and then we took a mind eraser with the hot waitress, who I amazingly met from months before, and then the band was on and that’s really it. I wish I could go into further detail but that’s really all I got. I woke up at 7:30 or so and had to take a piss and then I knew I should be at work so that’s what happened. To day that today is going to be productive would be nearly impossible. I feel like I should stay with the trend and take a picture of myself just so we are all aware of what we are dealing with. Honestly to be at work and drink like that is a miracle. I’m teenage wasteland and here’s a picture to prove it. 
There is also a significant problem developing. People are searching for stortz tools and one of my blog entries comes up. Now I don’t care if my friends or random people read this but perspective customers should not be viewing this material. This blog makes me look like an alcoholic mess, which I am. But people who want to buy roofing tools don’t need to know that. As much as I want this to be popular, I don’t need it to be coming up on google’s search engines. All I can say is that today is gonna be a rough day.
Hilarious videos
I noticed I only had 2 funny video topics so here’s some funny ones. 29-32 seconds of the first one are my favorite. They way their bodies bend.
Archives – Friday, April 03, 2009
Phone Conversation
I’m either terrible on the phone or every single person I talk to is just as bad. It’s hard to explain the difficulty of talking to people on the phone but I want to throw out a few issues.
First off, I’m not a girl and I don’t call people just to talk. If I’m calling you there is a reason for the call and once I find the answer to the purpose of the call then I’m ready to move on. For example, I call someone to find out what they are doing for the night, I establish if they want to hang out, then I confirm a meeting place and hang up. I don’t ask how’s their day or did you watch that show last night. It’s straight to business and I’ll save the small talk when I see the person.
When I’m talking it means that you aren’t talking. Conversations have 2 key ingredients, a talker and a listener. This is where my main problems lie. What always seems to happen is I start talking, I’ll finish a sentence and then I’ll want to say something else but the other person is responding to what I just said and then we both start talking at the same time. Then we both stop talking and sit in silence for a couple of seconds. Then we both find the silence weird and then both start talking again only to stop again because we are both talking at the same time. Then I get annoyed and just decide I’m going to talk no matter what. This is no joke, this happens to me with more than just one person. I answer the phone at work all the time so I have conversations with people all day. I really don’t think I’m doing anything wrong so I obviously blame the other side of the conversation.
Here’s another strange thing about the phone. Say you have plans for the evening with one group of friends. Someone from another group of your friends calls and you know they are going to ask you to do something that you don’t want to do. I’m sitting at my desk and my phone starts vibrating and I look who it is. Now I know that I have no good news for this person. They are going to ask me if I want to do this, the answer is no, but I have to tell this person without sounding like what I have going on is a better option. So do I pick up and be the bearer of bad news or do I just puss out and not answer it hoping it goes away. These thoughts actually run through my head and pretty much explains why I’m a social retard.
People who have dealt with me on the phone know that it’s not one of my strong points and hopefully this clears up my ineptitude with the phone. I sometimes like to text because it’s short and too the point, then I don’t have to get caught up in a conversation with someone when I really only care about one agenda item. I read this back to myself and think I’m a complete sped but what I wrote is the truth.
New Schedule
We lost our bball game by 27 or so last night. The early line came out at 32 so we entered cover city. It’s just getting embarrassing but at least it’s almost over with 1 more game and then a playoff game.
I went to sleep at 10pm last night which is a rarity. I’m usually up to 2 so I was happy to get a good nights rest. For some reason I woke up 4 times during the night which I think starts to happen more often the older you get. I was having some weird ass dreams but I have, what I expect to be common, a problem remembering them.
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Current Events
I don’t usually comment on news but there are a few stories I find interesting.
The whole Tiger Woods sex-rehab clinic business. When I brought up that I think the whole idea behind this was for the positive publicity, my friends laughed and thought I was an idiot. Let me just start by saying that everything that Tiger does at this point is being watched so carefully by high priced lawyers and advisers that he isn’t going to make a wrong move. I actually read from TMZ that there was a man who was a Tiger lookalike who was the one staying at the rehab center. I heard that he had something like 14 mistresses during the 5 year marriage to Elin. I also want to point out that I was called crazy when I bet the Sheee a C note that her and Tiger would be together after 5 more years. She vows to stay together even if they weren’t going to live together because she wants her kids to have a father figure. Personally, I don’t understand why she isn’t Elin Woods. I don’t necessarily think the female has to take the guys name but to hyphenate it at least seems more reasonable. The fact that she didn’t, should stand out that she has some underlying issues herself.
The Conan – Jay Leno hoopla is such a joke. Who even watches these guys? Late night TV is so far past it’s prime, I just don’t get it. I am well aware that millions of people tune in but I don’t understand why. I don’t really find these shows funny at all. Shows that try to make jokes out of topical situations for some reason never struck me as amusing. This goes for all late night, the colbert report, the daily show… all of them just seemed really lame to me. I think I don’t like the idea of the show focusing on one main star. It gives the guy a big ego and makes me not like them because they think they are hot shit. To go to all this mess over these clowns is such a fuck up by NBC. They just paid Conan 30+ million to leave and now they want to pay him again to start a new sitcom called Conaco. These guys must have mad MONEY TO BLOW.
I want to add that Mad River should pay me to be a promoter of their Thursday nights. The last two weeks I went it was off the hook. I was recruiting for it on Saturday night and I really think I could get people to go. I’ll see how tomorrow turns out. I asked a few randoms to go last weekend, lord knows I won’t remember them but maybe they’ll remember me. If it turns out to be another hit, I’m going to apply for the position. Another interesting note about Thursday nights is that it was just me and one other Kashub the last two weeks. It’s like a two man wolf pack. I found the ability to approach girls was pretty easy because there is only two of you and not a huge group. There is more mobility and less creepiness. There are downsides however. When one goes to take a piss than the other is left standing by themselves like the lonely loner. Also if I were to get too wasted and leave impromptu, then that leaves the other guy hanging with no clue what’s going on. Plus it’s easier for 2 guys to talk to 3 girls than vice versa. All good things to think about.
Bball game tonight. This is a rare, 2 post in one day, day.
Making headway
Today was a productive day. JC and I called some references from a company we are considering letting redesign our website, and they were all positive and JC basically told me to get it done. We have 750 rippers coming in next week but after that it will be a 3 month process of updating our current website. I expect a major jump in traffic, which will lead to more conversions (not the good kind). Hopefully this will be the start of a good thing.
I did something that I don’t usually do as well tonight. I feel weird using people’s real names in here because most readers probably don’t know who I’m referring to so I’m just throwing that out there. Jkash sent an email last night asking if 4 guys wanted to go with him and Ashban to some nice restaurant for restaurant week. So I’m thinking since he invited multiple guys, she must have multiple girls going as well. I said I’d go. The next day he said everything’s a go and the 3 of us we’ll meet there at 7. I’m thinking the 3 of us… they aren’t dating and didn’t seem to mind if I went along. They park in my building, I give them the tour, and then we go to Budakkan which serves Asian style cuisine. The restaurant week special is 35 bucks for an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert. There weren’t any lulls in the convo, the food was good, the service was attentive and everything pretty much went to plan. It was better than staying in doing jack shit and even though it costs some money, it builds friendships which are really worth more than any amount of money. Money to blow.
I went to the gym after that at about 10pm which is later than my usual routine. I saw an absolute knockout working out. Seriously I’d consider reworking my gym schedule if she’d be there every time. This is where a camera would come in handy for the blog, and yes I was too chicken to introduce myself. Ashley asked me at dinner what kind of girls I like and I didn’t have a good answer at the time but after some thought, if there is any physical attraction and they are normal, I can probably make it work. I consider myself pretty normal. I have no major issues, besides the drinking, but aside from that I’m your average Joe. Sure I can run a sub 5 minute mile, outdrink the shit out of anyone in my weight class, and run a business, but who’s keeping track. I used the elliptical for the first time because of a blister on my foot and it’s really just not the same as the treadmill. I can’t get the cardio going. I got back at 11 pretty tired from the day.
I also want to note that I’m getting better at the finer points of blogging. My home page isn’t a half mile long and I am almost done categorizing my pages. My home page comes up in google and we’ll see if I can increase my reader base. No real reason to increase traffic except it being a goal that comes along with effort. I do this to document my own life and provide any entertainment to whoever wants to read. I promise I’ll have some better material in the coming days but today was more of a standard day.
This blog.
Sometimes I really have no clue what to write about. I’m not nearly as interesting as people who read this probably think. Today I got up at 7, went to work, got back at 5, slept for 2 hours, went to the gym for an hour, watched 24 and here I am. No good stories, no alcohol, no entertainment. This is my life 4 days a week. These weekday entries tend to be me complaining about life, people, and ways to improve society. This entry is going to be lengthy because I literally have nothing better to do. I almost feel like I’m back in school writing a paper for class that needs to be finished by tonight. If you have a blog and you want people to read it, you have to update it. This post is going to be about me. Look at it like I’m the patient and you, the reader, is the therapist. I suggest you stop now if you don’t want to be bothered by my life philosophy’s. (more…)
Madness
I really think I could write 10x better posts after weekends if I could remember everything in it’s entirety. What tends to happen though is after midnight everything happens in bits and pieces and that’s if I can remember it at all. However aside from what I would consider a very very fun weekend I am epic failing in a category. To quote J-Kash, “it’s all about conversions”.
On Friday after work I bought a case of Guinness, some Jameson and some Baileys and was preparing for a carbomb weekend. I got home from work fairly early and had to go to sleep because I was exhausted from being out till 2 the night before. So I slept till 7 and when I woke I was ready to start drinking. I drank about 8 car bombs and a couple of beers when we played quarters and we went to Mad River to watch Mr. Greengenes. I’ve wrote it before but getting wasted and then watching a really good band in the Mad River atmosphere is becoming one of my favorite past times. I honestly can’t remember everything that happened. I remember talking to a girl and things were going fine and then somethings happened where I lost touch and I had no ability at all to recognize her again. There are just too many people. (more…)
Finally Friday
So I started this day off with a nice picture of myself. It’s 8:53. I’m at work. My BAC is probably still in the .2’s. This is really what it’s all about. Last night J Kash and I went to Mad River. We had 3-4 beers before we left and then got there a little after 9pm. The last time I was there I tipped the waitress a 20 on a 10 dollar tab because I thought she forgot to add drinks we bought but in reality I paid for them at the bar. So the same girl is tending to our needs and I order us some mind eraser’s for the fun of it. So she comes back with 3 and does one with us and we got her name and she was really cool. She said her name was Christy but J Ka$h thought she said Destiny. So that led into her telling us she uses stripper names with customers she doesn’t like and her #1 stripper name was Candy. Obvious inside joke but funny nonetheless. So the night progresses and I’m drinking as much as I can. At one point I order a double red bull and vodka and a beer (I was triple fisting all night) and she charges me 24. So I protest and she offers 19 and douses my drink with vodka so that pretty much fucked me up. The band was pretty good and there are pockets of girls with no guys around. So I was having a blast throughout the night. I didn’t bring home any putang but sometimes just getting back is a success in itself. So I woke up like this.
It’s 9 and I’m still fucked up but I had a great time last night. If you aren’t going out on Thursday’s you are really blowing it. I saw this girl who knows all the words to the songs and it’s pretty hot so I asked her name at the end of the night and I can’t remember it now. I’m pretty much just rambling at this point but I really enjoyed myself last night. Jc bought 2 sausage mcmuffins and asked me if I wanted one and I asked him why he bought 2 and he said that the 2 for 3 deal is too good to pass up so I just chomped one of them down. I take great pride in not making grammatical errors but I’m too messed up to care. I’m wearing my glasses in the picture because I think my contacts are the wrong prescription and I couldn’t chance driving to work drunk and not able to see. I’m not really drunk but I swear if I got pulled over I’d probably fail a breathalyzer this morning. I know I’m not myself cause when I was driving in I heard Tik Tok and was singing along. All I know is I’m happy it’s Friday and there is only today of work because I couldn’t do many more work days like this. In closing if you read this and want to have a good time on Thursday, hit me up. Mad River is like Reed’s but there are way hotter girls and it’s a better place. I swear there were 9’s and 10’s all over. I’m just looking forward to next week. If I could play my weekends like I did last night I would have a much better time.