Same Tiger, Different Hole

Chad made this title so I figured I’d use this sentence to give him credit. As it turns out I won both of my tiger bets I made. He wore a black hat and shot under 70 for the first round. They had a stat on yesterday that said Tiger had never broken 70 in the first round of the majors EVER. Just shows that I was doing my homework before I bet. I really am amazed though how this guy just did that. He has so much media coverage and so much pressure from different areas to perform like that is really remarkable. I would think that his sponsors that dropped him will be really pissed off if he goes on to win this thing. I can’t really see any reason to dislike him other than the whole cheating on the wife thing but if he comes out of this situation a changed man, fine by me. I made a bet with the sheee for 100 dollars that he’ll be with Elin 5 years after their Thanksgiving debacle.

I’ve also encountered 3 ass clowns on the road in the past 2 days that I want to describe. Assclown 1 didn’t want to let me merge into his lane when two lanes were converging to one. I knew it was going to be a hassle the way he was spacing behind the car in front but the lane was ending and there really weren’t any other options. Be a nice guy and let the person in, that simple. Assclown2 was a female. She’s waiting in a lot looking to make a left. There is a huge line of cars coming in the lane she’s trying to get into but none coming the other way. I stop the line of cars effectively letting her in. She waits, and waits, and waits. I’m at a full stop at this point wondering what is going on, so I just assume she doesn’t want to turn and start to accelerate and guess what … she gets the hint and starts to accelerate at the same time so we are accelerating into each other together. We both slam on the brakes and I give a wild “go you stupid bitch” hand signal. Last time I try to be nice. Assclown three was at a light making a left hand turn. The light is green and there is oncoming traffic so he wouldn’t be able to turn. As the light turns yellow he is obligated to move into the center of the intersection and make the left turn when traffic stops for the red light. I could tell he wasn’t going to do it before it happened but I just think people have to understand this simple concept.

Bud Schmidt pointed out to me that my utensil was already created by some other braniac. However I’m sure his name wasn’t as brilliant as mine. Just so we are all on the same page and you understand what goes through my head, I name it the tri-eat. First, 3 different utensils to eat with, the basic behind the name. 2nd, it sounds like treat, and everyone would feel this was a treat to the utensil world. 3rd, it sounds like try it, which is perfect from a marketing stand point. Seriously, I’m a marketing genius.

I’ve been running a lot lately. I put in about 40 miles in the first 4 days of this week and I’ll post my running log sometime next week. I feel asleep at 7pm last night and woke up at 7am today. I did respawn at 2am to take my contacts out and brush my teeth but it was a rare Thursday that I didn’t go out. I feel good today and am looking forward to the weekend. If you are going to Riverpalooza let me know because I would like to attend but no one I know is really going.

By |2010-04-09T08:11:52-04:00April 9th, 2010|My Brain, My Life, Sports|0 Comments

Pondering

You don’t ponder the answer to questions that have fact answers. If someone asks you how big a t-rex is, you don’t ponder for the answer, you think about it. You do ponder events that are incalculable. Things that pertain to the future like new ideas or other opportunities. College is a good time to do your pondering. You don’t have many expenses and you are learning things that are supposed to interest you. Plus you are young enough that if things don’t feel right, you can just change your path. At 26, there is no more pondering. I am in it at this point, neck deep. I didn’t spend 5 years learning the family business to sketch out and try something else. If I don’t like it or selling the product doesn’t interest me, too bad. However, even though realistically it is difficult for me to change courses, I still do brainstorm ways of making a living through different business ventures and today I will give a couple examples (some I’ve probably written about before but just skip it if you’ve read it)

  • This is by far my favorite but I like the idea of a beer distributor with scantily clad females to lure in the overweight drunkard men. This works on so many levels. First off, I would import hundreds of different labels from different breweries. Then I’d get to sample them all and form opinions on each one. I could document this in a database and it would become the bible of the store. You could categorize different selling points (price, type, brewer) of the beer, have the customers enter preferences and it could pick a beer that would work to their needs. I know beer and I would be a great salesman for it and the girls wearing nothing would be the main attraction. They could take shifts between standing on a platform and working the register. I could charge a mark up on the beer too because people wouldn’t mind coming to my place because it’s first class. Probably have some big screens there too so when people go to get more beer during halftime, they don’t miss anything. I would also compliment it with an illegal fireworks line. I’d call it “boobs, beers, and blasts.”

    Next idea is a driving range bar.

  • Whenever I go to the range I feel like I just speed through a bucket and then leave. I want to go to a place where I can get a drink, watch the game, and then hit a few balls in between commercials. The best part is the set up of the range. I’d have moving targets moving back and forth between the range and anytime someone hit it they’d get a free drink. I’d set up a mini golf course that had contests going off every hour or two. Drunk people love to gamble and people would be challenging each other to mini golf all the time. My plan for the mini golf would be an 18 story building with a hole on each level. People love heights and you could make some seriously wild holes if you had a level for each hole. Once they get up 18 stories they have get to zip line down to the ground level. It’d be called the bar on the range.
  • I want one utensil. One. I would like to say it self cleans but you’d probably have to manually clean it after each use. It would sort of be a spork but longer and be able to perform all three things that spoons, forks and knives do. Here’s a picture:
    I named it the tri-eat because it does 3 things and it would be such a treat to have. I’m sure some are concerned about the serrated moving blades that cut right through steak but it’s made with the latest nano technologies and can sense when they are going to enter your mouth. This is a pretty nifty and sophisticated device, I feel that is pretty evident from the intricate detail of the drawing. If you want one just let me know and I’ll put together some pricing depending on what demand I’m looking at.

    I could come up with ideas all day and night. How many of them are actually plausible is a different story. I tend to violate laws of physics and codes of conduct when I brainstorm. If any of these ideas come to fruition, I want a piece.

  • By |2010-04-09T08:16:06-04:00April 8th, 2010|My Brain|0 Comments

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