The Alcohol Induced Blackout

I was able to make the Seinfeld post in about 10 minutes yesterday.  As I feel I’ve gotten better at blogging, the length of time to create each post has increased to sometimes over an hour per post.  I need to spend that much time on each post if I want to continue to raise this blog’s bar.  Needless to say, to me at least, I haven’t been putting time into posting these past few days for reasons which I will explain in this also not stellar post.

On Saturday, after my awesome Friday, I was feeling pretty hyped for the Eagles game.  The plan was to go out to Center City and watch the games with the local crowd.  It was around 3 and I put 100 bucks of action on the Chiefs feeling pretty pumped about the layout of the day.  I bought a fifth of Goose and headed over Evan’s.  I incorrectly thought to myself that it makes sense to get a nice buzz before the bar so I don’t have to spend as much cash because Center City bars can add up over hours.  I downed 2 Goose and pineapple juice and headed to the bar with Evan, the Shee, Jeff, and Julia to meet up with the McGrath’s and other people we know.  If you saw the game on Saturday you’d know that Chiefs lost a thriller to the Colts.  My plan was to place the winnings on the Eagles if I won so this actually wasn’t as unfortunate as it seemed.  We were pounding pitchers of Lager at a bar called O’Sheas.  I recall doing one shot of Fireball and preparing for the game to start and then everything went blank.


I woke up in my bed the next morning unsure if the Eagles won or not.  I had slept on all my clothes that I had laid out on my bed from the wash the previous day and thought, “what the fuck happened?”  I was searching my brain for some recollection of anything and I’ll I could come up with was some Eagles chants led by Steve and the Fly Eagles Fly song.  It was in my mind the Eagles didn’t win but I could hardly remember watching any actual action.  Since I’m not a noob to this situation which closely resembles The Hangover, I started searching for clues.  No injuries, check.  One text saying, “where are you?.   American Express card in the actual money portion of the wallet instead of its slot and 0 dollars in my wallet.  It could be worse.  It was 12 pm and I couldn’t move so I watched the Negotiator for a bit before making myself move.   I contacted Evan and told him I was coming over to retrieve my car which I left parked in his lot which is the safe play.  I took a taxi over and asked, “what happened last night?”

He said I didn’t come out to the bar after the game and that was it.  Nothing irregular.  Now I was stumped.  I’ve been in these situations before and they rarely ever, perhaps never, work out this well.  When I can’t piece 3+ hours of my life together, bad things happen.  This was indeed a memory blackout which is the inability to recall events, not a loss of consciousness as a result of drinking too much.  I’ve gone through my 20’s blacking out more times than I can count and for the past year or two I’ve done a much better job of leaving the bar or party before reaching this point.  This feeling is completely unsettling.  I did learn one thing from Evan though that I hadn’t known, he told me we did at least 4 shots together.  I remembered 0.


At Evan’s, we watched some of the game (which is incredibly slow compared to RedZone) and I left after the first game.  I ate a Wawa club sandwich and drank a coffee before I headed home.  At this point I felt like complete poop and started chugging water to help reduce this horrific feeling.  Over and over in mind I tried to piece together things I said or did but it’s like a black hole.  The above picture isn’t a joke, you literally move from one place to the next with no concept of time.  I laid in bed the rest of the night and went to sleep feeling lousy.

The next morning I awoke with a dry mouth and completely cranky for a Monday.  I read online that this was the worst day of the year for most people because the holidays were over and it’s winter and a new start to work.  I agreed.  Throughout the day I continued to chug water but it was to no avail.  I would drink a bottle and then have to take a piss 10 minutes later.  This is the effect of too much alcohol in your system and your kidneys still trying to recover.   Your body doesn’t get hydrated by water.  There is nothing to do other than tough it out.  I probably urinated a dozen times throughout the day trying to hydrate.  I was tired the entire day and when night came I wanted to sleep but the alcohol fucks with your system and makes you fatigued but actual sleep is difficult.  I caught a few hours off and on and when I woke up today I felt slightly better.  My mouth was (is) still dry but at least I know I’m feeling more like myself.  I was able to navigate the day and get to where I am now.

Back in 06', a college fall that resulted in a chipping my front two teeth and needing a root canal and crowns.

Back in 06′, a post-college fall that resulted in chipping my front two teeth and needing a root canal and crowns.

I write this post to explain the dangers of drinking too much and the physical aftermath of blacking out.  I’ve had previous instances of blacking out and doing substantial damage to myself.  For the past few years I’ve done a much better job of not getting myself in those situations but last Saturday was a clear cut hazardous situation.  The absolute amazing thing is that the people I was with for those few hours weren’t exactly aware that I was black out drunk.  They said I was acting drunk obviously but nothing out of the ordinary which shows that you can be black out drunk and still be actively conscious.  To me this is incredible.  After this instance I read a reddit post on blacking out and a poster said to think of your body as a water pail and filling it up with water.  Once the water (alcohol) overflows the pail, your body starts shutting down the less important functions such as memory.   I still am in shock that nothing happened and am expecting a bomb of news any time.


It’s a potentially fatal way to live life.  When I throw hard alcohol into the mix, I ask for trouble.  I rarely throw up from the alcohol anymore and my body just handles it which means I am more likely to black out.  This obviously has me considering why I drink and it’s an age old question for me.  Completely cold turkey is the only way.  My character and genetics don’t allow me to have 2 drinks and call it a night.  I may be fine 100 times in a row but at any one time alcohol can be treacherous.  Does this mean that I’ll stop completely?  Probably not.  I know that sounds ridiculous after reading this post but this post isn’t just about me.  It’s about any single person who this happens to and it happens to millions throughout the year.  By posting this I hope to educate the process of how it happens and the aftermath.  If you encounter someone who can’t take care of themselves, getting them to safety is crucial, drunk accidents are no joke.  Trust me, I know.

It took me 3 straight days to recover from this and I’m still not 100%.  Tomorrow though I should feel normal and return to actively posting.  I honestly can’t think properly under these conditions.  It affects my entire life negatively.

By |2014-01-07T23:55:58-05:00January 7th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

Living Dehydration from Alcohol


Over the years I’ve become an expert on the topic of dehydration and alcohol. I even recently read over this website which is great research on what happens when you drink. Casual drinkers don’t understand it, scientists only can write what is supposed to happen, but I can comment on the experience first hand. I’ve grown leaps and bounds from my nights of every weekend blackouts but that doesn’t mean that I still don’t get carried away and succumb to the joys of alcohol. This past weekend was another example of the effects of alcohol entering real life.

I’m going to recap what I drank over what periods of time to understand my intake and the aftermath. Starting Saturday, I had my first beer at 11:30 am. I than drank about 5 dixie cup beers playing poker. Next I had a Heineken, a shot of Jameson, and a Yuengling before 4pm. After checking in to our room I drank 2 more Bud Lights. While playing Pai Gow I drank 3 Captain and Cokes and preceded back to the room to drink another beer and have one shot of Jameson. Next, we went downstairs and did an Irish Car Bomb. At this point it was around 9pm and I believe I had a beer to sip on and that was the last bit of alcohol I had until after the concert which ended at 11 or so. At this point I lost count of every single drink I took but I drank a beer consistently until 6:30 am. The break of not drinking anything during the concert was the saving grace as I didn’t black out the entire night and remember virtually everything. With this summary of my drinking, this takes me to Sunday morning. A final note is that I ate a bagel for breakfast and a burger at around 2pm.

When I got back on Sunday I slept for a few hours till about 4pm. Adam wanted to know if I wanted to watch the games with him and I told him I could barely move. I was trying to drink water throughout the day but my intake of liquid and food is in complete disarray. I was unable to work out and didn’t do anything the entire day. I feel asleep at around midnight and woke at 8am feeling better but far from perfect. I was able to eat some breakfast and drink some coffee but my body still wasn’t right. If you stick your tongue out and there is a white film covering it, you’re still dehydrated. So I basically started chugging water but what happens is that your body just pisses it out. I urinated about 10 times today trying to rehydrate my body. My motor skills are also completely out of whack and typing is challenging. Also I don’t feel happy. The alcohol and lack of water make you feel down and depressed. Everything about days like this are painful and you really need to get them over with and heal with time. The other hard part is that the sleep you get isn’t real strong sleep. You don’t wake up rejuvenated but still with the fuck this shit feeling. The only real solution is being a man about it, continue drinking water, and knowing it will pass.

So why do I put myself through this? Probably because I had the best time at the AWOLNation concert in lord knows how long. I wouldn’t have been able to “rage” like that if it wasn’t for alcohol. You think Pat would be able to crowd surf without it? It was something that could never happen without alcohol. I don’t care how awesome people who are sober say being sober is, you can’t enjoy a concert like that standing around. So it’s basically putting up with some pain for a concert/weekend experiencing you’ll never forget. Take your pick.


By |2013-03-25T22:08:42-04:00March 25th, 2013|My Life|2 Comments


I was doing a couple of tasks at the same time today and I thought to myself, “I’m really juggling a lot of balls today.” Then I laughed for a second. Then I thought to myself “no homo.” Then I thought that I probably don’t have to say no homo if I didn’t even say the comment aloud. Then I thought that I probably don’t even have to say no homo if I’m never going to produce a homo thought. So if you are actually using the “no homo” it means that you probably say a lot of homo things and need to distinguish between the two. Shit like this goes through my mind and prevents me from being productive from time to time.

I got on the scale yesterday at LA and weighed in at 181. This was a bit high for me as I think I should be around 170 at absolutely my best running shape. With the broad street run looming, now is the time for me to put forth the effort. I’m going to try to lose 11 lbs before the race. This isn’t like girls thinking their fat and making failed attempts at losing weight. Losing 11 lbs isn’t impossible but it’s going to take a lot of work because I probably have 5 or so lbs of fat to lose and the rest is probably alcohol weight. This isn’t a lazy effort and I’ll keep up to date info on here. If I can get down to that weight I guarantee I go under 60 minutes. Today I ran a bit under 29 minutes for 5 miles so I know my legs are going to get there when I start running some 10-15 mile runs. As I’m getting older this is obviously some of my last chances in my “prime” to run some good times, so I’m going to take it as seriously as I can. I would really like to cut out the majority of alcohol from my life because it really hinders a person trying to run seriously. I’m not going to say I’m going to swear it off but I will make an attempt to keep it in control for the next few weeks.

When you can’t think of anything to write about it’s best to write about something you know. On that note, I need a new drink of choice. These rum and cokes are killing me. I seriously must have had 25 small cups of rum and cokes in AC on Saturday. It’s not just the alcohol that messes with your system, it’s the coke as well. It’s not even that it’s my favorite drink but when you go to order it, it’s the simplest for the bartender to make and not fuck up. I’ve been through a couple stages of drinks. There’s rarely a beer on tap that I haven’t tried. I started drinking Bacardi and Cokes in college. Then moved to Tangeray and tonics. I had a Jameson phase that was proceeded by a Gray Goose on the rocks phase. Probably my drink of choice, as gay as it is, would be Goose with not OJ but a pineapple, strawberry, grapefruit mix that Dole makes. Here’s the problem, I like drinking whatever is on special because I tend to drink alot and I don’t like blowing my cash on alcohol so whatever is on special is what I make do (due?). Well drinks are cheap alcohol which tend to find the special list. Cheap gin and tonics are no good. I stay away from cheap vodka because I don’t like it’s mixers, especially cranberry juice. That leaves whiskey and rum which go best with coke. It’s a real conundrum. Also the tipping on drinks is costing me so much money that if I donated it all to a charity they could easily have in excess of 5,000 dollars over the course of my drinking career. Just some quick math. If I drink 2 nights a week, an order 6 drinks a night for 50 weekends a year over 5 years @ one buck per drink we get (2x6x50x5)= 3,000. For what it’s worth I can have WAY MORE than 6 drinks a night not to mention how many weeknights I’ve been out. I didn’t even account for Thursdays and Holiday’s. If you want to include tipping dealers at casinos tack on another grand at least and then for food is another 5k (which is such a long shot guess and probably well undervalued). Just think how fucked up this whole tipping angle is and then consider how generous a person I am.

Off on a tangent like usual, I openly say I have a drinking problem. People will say, “well that’s the first step to solving it.” Let me just say that knowing you have a problem and then solving it are eons away from each other. I don’t have a physical addiction to alcohol. I don’t drink Sunday-Wednesday (sometimes but I don’t let it interfere with my work schedule). Thursday through Saturday is another story. Once I get started there’s no stopping until I’m too retarded to function. It’s not fun to get that drunk all the time but once you get 10 drinks in you, the decision making process is a bit impaired. The thought process behind it is quite simple though. If you work 5 days a week, M-F, and you put in the 40 hours and feel the pressure behind making your own company work, living the straight arrow life is obviously the best option for being successful. Most likely though, you won’t have fun doing it. My view is I just spent 4/5 straight days keeping myself in check and now I want to have fun. I PERCEIVE alcohol with having fun, this has been problematic over the course of my life, but I’ve spent weekends sober and I know what to expect. So I’m well aware of what I’m doing. I can easily not drink if I didn’t want to but I’d be ridding myself of entertainment and sometimes life is more than just work. All work and no play make TC a dull boy.

By |2010-03-16T00:52:54-04:00March 16th, 2010|My Brain|1 Comment

Right on Target

So just as I was about to sit down and write a “real” post I went to take a piss. I don’t really consider anything from the last couple days real because there’s no real thought put into the post, it’s just me recapping me being a retard. Anyway, I go to piss and when guys piss they have two streams that meet up together to form one single ray. I know to girls this is probably a well kept secret but I think, and with no science behind this, a guy has two streams so he when he busts a nut into a girl, the sperm form a “V” so it goes up the girls tubes and reaches the egg. When I went to piss just a minute ago the one hit the back right of the toilet bowl and the other hit my left sock (I was wearing sandals). When you realize this is happening you just have to push a bit harder and the streams align but I was completely caught off guard and figured I’d share just so if it ever happens to you, you won’t feel left out. I also want to point out that even though I write about disgusting things from time to time I’m really a cleanly person and after this incident I took a shower because the urine insta-soaked against my foot.

On to life. My battle wounds are healing nicely and I expect to be able to display to the public my mug come Thursday night. I want to add that this past weekend was an absolutely awful weekend. The open bar from 8-10 left me black out drunk by 11 and injured and asleep by 12, sporting no fun along the way. So when Wagon is wondering why I’m not chomping at the bit to go to the same open bar from 8-10 this week, there’s the obvious reason. I’m well aware that getting too drunk leads to no fun. It’s been noted before but there is a level of drunkness labeled “the zone” which is always trying to be achieved but very rarely found. It’s when you have all your motor skills, you lost your inhibitions, and you can dance, not well, even if you’re white. Too sober and you can’t find the fun in anything and too drunk makes everything too fun until you have to pass out and do something humiliating. Sadly after 8 years of binge drinking I still have not found the secret.

This weekend proved something to me. I sometimes wonder why people read my blog. Sure you may know me a bit and have some connection but aside from the people I see often, I probably don’t see that many of you. However one thing I offer, that the large majority of the population can’t, is the ability to produce a picture in the post below. Let’s face it, how many of you come back home after a night of drinking looking like Glass Joe after a fight with Little Mac (I was gonna use Apollo Creed but he died so that didn’t work exactly). Now I don’t do this every weekend but the sheer chance of doing something wild must have some entertainment value to my readers. Some girl this weekend saw my face and said “it’s ok, it happens to the best of us.” Let me say that this happens to me far more than the to the best of us. I’ve gone a long while without significant injuries or arrests and I think in New Orleans I jinxed myself over dinner with my Mom when I told her I was on a good role and I think I’ve grown out of that phase. I was wrong, sorry mom. So another weekend is looming and I vow to do a better job and try to find “the zone” instead of blasting by it into oblivion where no one is safe. I have good intentions, I really do, but my arch enemy alcohol has my number dialed in.

To just finish this post with some final thoughts. I went to Barnes and Noble today to buy some books and I just wanted to share with everyone what I bought so you can see what I’m interested in:

  • Get anyone to do anything (not a sex book, a psych book)
  • Enough. True measures of Money, Business, and Life by John Bogle (CEO of Vanguard)
  • Getting back to even by Jim Cramer (Mad Money)
  • Mental Floss presents: Condensed Knowledge (bathroom reading)
  • Gonzo (the life of Hunter S. Thompson)
    I do know how to read and I’ve been bored lately because I haven’t been gambling and there’s not too much on TV and I’ve watched the good movies on demand.

    I also found some great deals at Target where I bought new boxers, new plain T’s (blue and white), a new wallet, and some novelty shirts for St Patrick’s day. I also just watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall for the first time and I would never forget Kristen Bell for anything. Jason Segal seemed kind of dopey, I thought Mila played a good role, and my favorite character was Alvis or whatever. The movie wasn’t really so much funny as I thought people claimed a ways back. I thought the story was decent but everyone’s parts added up together just made it sort of so so.

  • By |2010-03-03T00:26:59-05:00March 3rd, 2010|My Brain, My Life|0 Comments

    Life is Good

    I haven’t wrote (written?) anything in about a week. It’s not that I can’t. I think of stupid shit every day that could be blog material. I could fill you in on every detail of my life. I went to the Billy Joel-Elton John concert last Thursday. I sat section 114, row 7, seat 10. I wanted to hear Mona Lisa’s by Elton and River of Dreams by Billy. Billy came through, Elton sadly, did not. Billy played Zanzibar and it has become one of my favorites. On Friday I told a girl I loved her when in reality I loved her in that moment. That really isn’t love and I tend to say some incredible things after 8 hours of drinking. A girl who I met 2 weeks before told me her name for the 3rd time and to this day I still can’t remember it. There’s more to this story but it’s left to someone elses recollection. Saturday we drove down the shore at 2pm and stood in a completely packed OD bar to see Go Go Gadget and some other band who I didn’t know. You don’t see that kind of atmosphere everyday. I did a 4 horseman after doing a 3 wiseman the night before just to instill in my mind what a man’s shot is. I spent more money on alcohol this weekend than some families spend on food in a month. This is my alcohol filled weekend. I had a tremendous time and the mere hangovers don’t compete with the amount of fun during the binge. Some people can read this and say that it’s really sad that you need alcohol to have fun. All I can respond with is that books and movie theaters don’t float my boat. Give me a buy one get one free happy hour any day.

    Should I feel that this is blogworthy and when I get a chance the next day I have to “blog about this.” I don’t because there is a reflection period after things that you do that requires consideration. Or remembering, whichever comes first. I don’t feel that this is a medium to share my life. Everyone has there own life, mine’s not anymore interesting than yours. I go to work 5 days and then party it up on the weekends. I’ll continue to write down my thoughts though. Things that I see that need to be corrected. Things that I have to brag about because I’m better than you at it. Things that you maybe wouldn’t see because you aren’t looking at them from my far fetched point of view.

    I may be a complete goof on the weekends, I will not deny this absolute truth. But I do hold certain values, a code if you will. (I’ve been watching too much Dexter) I am honest. If I’m thinking it, then you’ll know it. I’m trustworthy. I usually won’t spill the beans. I have to apologize to Baker about giving up the info about the toothbrush, but it was too funny too keep in. If you such a smart guy though, wouldn’t you just replace it? The number 1 rule though, is to enjoy life. Right now I really have no worries. I have little responsibilities and like it that way. I do as I please and am just trying to enjoy it while it lasts (my youth not my life). I got lucky to be born into a family where I have a family business job that pays me ok. I have nice shelter, a fine car, and good friends who put up with my shit. I do work hard but I don’t take everything that has been giving to me for granted. At this point in my life I am really just trying to live it up. This will assure me to continue doing unbelievably stupid and ridiculous things, but isn’t that what life’s about? No one remembers the lame sober night, but no one forgets frost bite, post offices, and root canals.

    By |2010-01-27T19:34:43-05:00August 3rd, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

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